 wa kwa kwa kwa ingat show kwa gafu Maurekumunia wатьu na kwa kwa kwa dali Kal Santos kwa kwa kwa maikana sii kwa gafunia kwa kwa maikana kwa gafu na kwa kwa maikana kwa maikana hikata ui ramanda hiki kwa kwa maikiana kwa kwa kwa tuhu klikuwa Kwa kwa kwa kwa mami kwa kwa maikiana kwa kapaka laizumandu And then there's this other conversation that people have been having expectations after the date because we just saw the whole rally of women working for women and then there was a video that went really viral about a guy a few guys, there were two guys particularly and one of them was saying, I can't buy you pizza na wende evo me kula pesayangu and you know to someone else just a pizza you know it makes no sense but what are the expectations after a date do you think that's a conversation that you should have during the date or even before the date Winnie would you have that conversation with someone you're going on a date with? Ya because I feel like nowadays a lot of men work on expectations if I give you money you're supposed to give me this in return so I will want to ask the man since you're bringing me money in return for me or you can take me off and into the table because personally I will say I will offer only I love you you know I want to know kama uta kuasa wanayo so you think ya mta na faku liza such staffs the expectations maybe unexpected wambui will bring more money than me because she works in a certain company like that so you feel like expectations are there and people should get to know more about them before they get into that situation na Ian would you say it's a man's job to make it clear what they expect because for a lady to ask what are you expecting after it might I don't know some people might take it the wrong way but do you think it's a man's role to take that lead and say I want to meet you on Saturday I want to take you to somewhere and this is what I'm expecting after the date do you think it's a man's job to do that or should the woman initiate the conversation I feel I don't feel like it's actually the responsibility of any of the parties involved I feel like it's supposed to be two way it's a relationship I'm not actually the head per se it's a companionship so if there's something that I'm expecting afterwards maybe we should sit down together maybe the conversation should be initiated from both parties we could talk about this then I guess from what we are talking about the energy we can also feel whether the energy is matching I don't feel like a lot of these things have to be said really I feel like most of them will just read from the vibe I'm getting from you these things we don't actually have to talk about them but if worst comes to worst then I guess maybe it actually depends on the kind of relationship that you are in because they do if they do really expect something then they initiate the conversation because rarely does the woman initiate the conversation like after this especially when you are thinking about people who are just getting to know each other people want to show the best possible characters sayze kwenyesha mimi labdana kwangamdaku ama mimi kufuanguo I don't like that so we want to show our best possible traits how long do you think it takes for you to know someone for who they are how long do you usually vet a character before you say this man might have potential to be my man because of this this and that how long does it take for you to get to that point where you accept the relationship with someone I know this will sound crazy but I want to keep it to myself and I will talk to you and I will say you are fake I will know you but I want you to know but I want you to know within days and days but I want you to know two days we meet constantly I will know you I feel like I need that skill I really need that skill because I always want to see the best in people and I am like no imagine there is some light in you we just want to find it it might be digging but imagine so that is truly a skill but what about someone who doesn't know let's think about someone who is probably fresh out of high school na whom say kwa library let's take a look you just met someone from maybe the estate you seen them around Ian, according to you how long will it take for someone to make a right decision about this is the right person because of this and these reasons I don't think that human beings are an open book because every day I learn something different about you and I guess that is what I'm going to hokei na u자�u kutipadia. Mixitia-tiniira, nama na hodio kwa kuno. Una, na hodo hodian mazemu hida kuwa maen yimini in takwano nga ja nama mula maan, nama mayisha, manimike na ukshawe. wa nama, hodia, nama miinii na amumika maen ya kutipadia, nama maeni, Na, kutipadia, kabahara maen, But then there is this type of way that you will actually talk then you're all about the restaurant, you're about the nails, you're about the outfits. We were talking about nails before. We were talking about nails before. We were talking about nails before. So Ian felt left out of this conversation. So Ian felt left out of this conversation. No but it's genuinely true. If someone has substance and they can add value even to the conversation before you get to adding value to you as a person then it shows that this is someone who's mature. Someone you can actually go somewhere with. Let me ask a thing that I think most people wonder or they've not really understood why dates exist. So Winnie according to you why do you think it's important for you to go on dates with someone you're getting to know or someone you want to get into a relationship with or even someone you're actively dating why do you think it's important for you to go on dates? Wow. To create a bond or to get to know about this person from the earlier question that you had asked come to think of it you think you can't know someone is in one day nesakuja na karaktingi ne mio and then tomorrow you put another character and I'm like okay wait So with this dates thing I think mi kwa mguni kwenaku create bond and if the bond is there then I'll continue the relationship. If the bond is not there then we call it quits. Maybe this is just friendship. I think dates are important because you'll get to know about the other person more. And then as you've said genuinely I think people depending on the context I may have had a bad day I've had coffee and I'm just excited so it's really hard to read someone on the first day. So do you think it's also important seeing them in different contexts do you think that plays a role as to why you have to go on dates like seeing them react maybe menda gaming kwa restaurant do you think that adds value as to why dates are important? Yeah yeah because sometimes you can be with someone e no shange kwa nua kasi re kangi like of course all of us we are human beings sometimes we are angry sometimes we are mad at each other we are mad at people we are mad at ourselves and I feel like I actually want I don't really always focus on seeing the good side of you always want to see the bad side of you always want to see whether I can cope with that side of you like whether that side of you do I still find you attractive after seeing the bad side of you because everyone can be good it's not actually that is not actually a question everyone can be good and it's not trivial really but if if I get to see like you like nijue wa ame jam even do kwa nijue wa ona bunjanga glas fuki jam maybe perhaps in taona wo tani wo skumoji tan rushi e glas or maybe it's okay I can still cope with her I can still come her down so for me it's always about those bad days I want to see someone in their bad days rather than in their good days and I think that's important because some people say I want to see you when you sad, when you hurt, when you broke nijue wa who are you really because unfortunately I think the bad experiences bring out the true nature of human beings as opposed to the good because when you're happy, when you have money life is good, auna presha like we're even bad so now based on that we've gone on dates we've gotten to know someone ame two liza to date two kwaingia box red flugs gani consciously umewo na hivi wini na wukasia manisawa I'm going in because Ian has given us a good example someone can have anger issues but your maybe your temperament or your character aligns with that nakunam tu mingi na tauna seme e mibethespe nangi drama just let it go but what red flags have you in the past gotten into relationships knowing that this is a red flag but I'm willing to compromise what are some of the things that you'd say maybe your past self maybe your past self we don't do that I like the reaction I think here I have a glass I took over a restaurant and I got a glass okay that's a red flag but I'm willing to compromise red colors I think that yeah I will say that that is the one of the red flags in our relationship you would know it and is it a red flag do you think they're that bad because we keep talking about red flags na forri lenyo kuna nye red is their favorite color kuna kuna nye you know vibes because we've seen public relationships so people are toxic and they still go back they will tattoo the face of that man on their face and you wonder how shtuki na mimi me shtukon yabi so are red flags really that bad yeah because they never get any greener yeah they just don't get any greener because maybe you guys have stories to tell me but easy ways then you don't know imagine fungu wa roho this is a safe space what are red flags you perhaps ignored in the past and you realize right now you cannot you cannot even compromise on for me it's weird what's weird the red flag it's crazy though kwa ni crazy kwa ni crazy kwa koments tu muambi iyan kumepitia tu muambi what was that red flag that pakasai imekutramata i guess eating someone who had something with my friend and it wasn't that serious oh I guess that's that's the red flag because for me I can't have something with someone who had something with my friend I just can't because most of the time it doesn't end well and you see I feel like as you've said both of you because all of us can confess we feel like we should all go on social media right now and reflection on some of the things that we've probably ignored in the past that ruined our relationships and even maybe our perception and we could have avoided that because as you've said that was something you could have avoided and we need to normally when you see someone on my password glass you're like it's giving potential GBV but because we need to recognize everything else so now let's get to what are some of the situations but I feel like we should hold this for the second bit of the conversation situations that you feel like you went through I'm walking away I don't care if I love you I don't care if you're the best you have money you have all these things I am walking away from the situation so we are live on YouTube we are going on the comments right now and letting us know as you follow this show what are some red flags that you ignored in your relationships in the past that came back let us know that and then we've also asked when is the right time for you to leave a relationship when do you know it's situation it's no longer serving me it's no longer adding value when do you know when to leave go on our social media platforms Twitter and X so I think we can take a short break and then we can come back because I want to find out what situations led you to that moment where you said it's not a must and how do you even get that because as we started by saying we have different levels of maturity in relationships and you want to hold on because you don't know anything else and then you get older this are my boundaries this are things that I stand for I do not want to entertain these characters and it's easy for you to say no, this is no longer serving me so I want us to get into that so stay tuned to Y254 you're watching the power talk show and my name is Sherry Lee Blessing Y254 iliku pata uchungum tam kama skiza tuniako bonyesa star A212 star 504 hash star A212 star 504 hush star A212 stu stu stu stu stu stu stu stu stu stu A212 star 504 hash bonyesa star A212 stu stu stu stu stu stu stu stu stu stu stu stu stu stu steep steep d dancers 8 spii spii tins assake su We've got some very interesting comments. Ian has told us I'm wondering, do you think, because you know for some women that might be a reason for them to live a relationship? So Winnie, do you think a man who isn't providing in the traditional sense would be a reason enough for you to say, wacha ekae? Eh, nanda, because I'm like, kus ya kwa dinini, men were created to provide. I'm supposed to stay in the house, cook for you and cook for the children. You are supposed to go and provide. So if I say I want a phone, as long as I'm doing what a woman is supposed to do, you're supposed to provide. Ya, I'll live a relationship if a man is not providing. You have to bring something to the table. Table, can you define that providing first? What is provision according to you? To me, if I need to make my hair, he's supposed to provide. The rent, he's supposed to provide. But bando, I will like, now kwa understand when you wanna say ma, because in this nini generation you tooko, it's 2-2, right? So you'll still provide, but I'll bring something like 20% to the table. But you'll still provide for the food, atonua chakula, alipe rent, ato ende shule. Unless he tells me, we'll provide food, but a man is supposed to provide. Ya. Ati kwa bimili, a man is supposed to provide. So if he's not providing or moking out, I cannot be the man in the relationship. Ya, exactly. I don't want to let us know, kus men, especially in this generation, because women are so empowered. Women are making as much money as men, maybe even sometimes more than men. So men feel like, why should I perform my traditional role? And we are all equal financially. So why do you think you wouldn't buy, why wouldn't you buy a woman a phone? To some, if demuna dates, serious relationship enyem konaizi wichu zote you've, you have intellect, you've considered the mental stability, you've considered finances, you have a future that you see together. Why wouldn't you buy that girl a phone? I guess, you know, it's two-way traffic. Will she buy me a phone? If you tell my birthday, will she buy me a phone? What if she won't? If she won't, I won't, because it's two-way traffic. But you just can't expect, you can't sit there and expect me to get you a phone just for the sake of getting you a phone. And you get me like, those messages are king was born today. But how can you know it's two-way if you haven't even tried one way? Because sometimes you have to show someone for them to reciprocate, or you have to be in, the way we say sometimes you have, you attract the energy that you're in. If I'm in an energy where, I mean my family in energy, I'll attract someone who's in a masculine energy. If I'm probably in a state where I'm ready to settle, I'll probably attract someone with the same mindset. So if you come in with the mindset of, I can't buy your phone because equal. And then they do the same. Then what's the point of the relationship? Or let's just talk about, we see people gifting each other even cars, land, things like that, things of assets. Let's talk about assets as opposed to let's talk about assets. Would you buy your wife in future land? And? What? Tegemea? Yo. No, hear me out. So mean unwini. Hear me out. Hear me out. Just as you've said, it's all about the reciprocation of energy. It all starts with, if I get you a pen, you get me a book. You get me. If I get you an eraser, you get me a pencil. But if I get you a pen and you never get me a book, that there's no energy that's being reciprocated there, right? So I guess that's just the end of it. But do you think we're killing ourselves with expectations? We are. Because even Winnie, let's even direct this at you. Do you think us as ladies, I think it's kind of crazy if we're being realistic. I talk to so many ladies these days and they prefer going back to being housewives. So many ladies who are in corporate spaces, working hard, they would prefer to go back to being housewives and taking care of the home and the kids and all that. But women fought for us to get here. Women fought for us to get here. Why do you think we're regressing back to that station where we're like, by the kukwa, housewives see that bad? As long as you're providing you in your masculine energy, I'm willing to play my feminine role. Why do you think women are going back to that? I think women are just supposed to be submissive. No, I can't take home what's provided for their husbands. I don't have anything else to say. But I'll say men should provide and provide. But at the same time, when I was in the land, and he was like, ntambaya land, kama yata kwa mini baya something in return, I will say for a man to get a woman an asset or something like that, nafa kwa nimi kuna wene I'll do for a man to do that. See, I am not a woman who is in a house, but I am not a man who is going back to the land. It's all about maybe we'll be left with respect, love, because we were born and brought up in this house. I think this man will buy me a land. Yeah, because I'm doing what a woman is supposed to do, right? I want to go back to the land. See, I'm cooking for you. I'm cooking for you. Hey! Hey, hey, hey! You are a Nazi. Yeah, man. Yeah, this man. No, no. No, no, no. Leta to Range Rover do oneishamba No, it's not even necessarily about the Range Rover part of it I guess maybe if you are getting me something like how can I if you are on IG most of the time and I've always constantly been telling you I really want to get this super bike I really want to get this super bike every now and then maybe you have the resources you can get it and also have it but I'm telling you no but I'll get it some other time and maybe you get it for me I feel like that is a grand gesture that I'll also have to reciprocate because that actually shows how much I matter to you because this is something you've heard me say about a lot so if I hear you say that I really want that new Mazda I really want it, I really want it I'll get it because now I want to show you how much you mean to me but you just can't expect why are you cooking and you expect land? but how will you eat? I can get takeout why are you cooking and you expect land? go on the comments right now I want you to go on the comments right now and let me know would you buy your significant other assets or even a gift if they haven't shown you that they're going to do the same would you do that out of your own genuine love for them amma you expect them to do something you just say wo se me because you bought this pencil now you can have a pen let me know on the comments at Y254 across all social media platforms and now let's know it because Bini has already told us you will leave a man for not being a provider what other reasons will make you leave a relationship or what reasons have left made you leave a relationship in the past that right now you're like I'm standing on business we're not going back if the energy is unmatched you can make everything on this man thank you now she's getting the point that I'm telling her if the energies unmatched the energies unmatched but in here we have some double standards if you bring the music truly there's some double standard especially with the expectations of men and women so what's atumalize two kwanzaia points then we can bring it back see your assets we can bring it back we can bring it back and you can completely you know you just love this person every time you're telling this person I really love you and you're like yo I will leave that relationship I imagine go I imagine I'm supporting you because I'm expecting if I tell you I love you you're supposed to tell me I love you too means you can tell me if you are in a meeting or something like that and you tell me I love you too so it has to be reciprocated energy and I feel like I've witnessed that some people stay too long in a relationship hoping that you know love grows umtua tani penda ata una kenye na fanya so that is one reason well una fawende ju kama kupendi imagine imagine a kupendi kubali too and I think so many young people struggle with that you may love someone and it may be un reciprocated especially for men men loving women and you do the most and sometimes once a woman or a person who you really love notices that you uko tu hapo they might take advantage of you so that's one reason that I genuinely support you have to walk out Ian what about you what's one reason that paka saizi you can never you can't even look at someone twice if they do this things for me I guess it's a basket basket it's a whole layer of stuff but for me I feel like energy actually tells a lot you don't actually have to tell me something so if I feel like you actually don't want to be here and know something I guess when you say that she can tell someone she can tell the habits of someone by the first time she is talking to them or actually seeing them but for me I feel like the energy that you reciprocate is exactly what I know which is very important and I think everyone as we get older you have your own list of maybe the person that's ideal for you and things that you cannot compromise on and there's been this phrase especially this year people are standing on business so I think that's very important and then we can dive deeper into that let me first read some of the comments that you've shared and this is on Facebook we have Eliki Rono who says thank you so much for watching us Franklin Ward Judi says respect and appreciation of the effort put in the relationship to work once the two are missing that's an instant turn off watching live salimia the guests ma salimika thank you Franklin for that and that's very important respect and appreciation very important particularly to men do we have any more comments Timo? we have Dante Kiu who says tuned in in watching live from Muya Runda thank you so much for watching us Isaac Nalyanya says hi I'm following you from Butere I think the right time to quit a relationship is one when there is a breach of trust two one tries to tap of tries to track one another okay when one tries to track the other okay the third one is when there is physical distance and when there is hostility thank you so much for that that's very insightful we have John Tex Nyangaka Mama's son who says immediately after his character changes to overcome dust eh yo ni ni ni tebu tutatua leze apo aya I view one boy says just trust your instincts as in the moment you feel something is off then you shall live I agree with that Collins Kolow tribalist says instead of giving people tips to strengthen relationships you are asking when is the right time to quit hampendi bitumzuri aki imagine Kolow just go on our YouTube and just scroll kiddo go to kwa pao talk you'll find a few videos of us talking about relationships ata kufika kwandoa we have Wolan Shata she says a good dancer knows when to exit the stage Patrick Igusa and Benzutot with this ah that's really insightful thank you Husain Barakwa and she says immediately you feel disrespected true Mofat Belyon says u kiyona tu umikwa option wejitoe lakini haimanishi ati sasa penyunenda hauta liya labda hukunda utabunjo vibaya happiness is not guaranteed by the way here Mofat Belyon u kiyona tu umikwa truth but that is so true I like that and just in case for someone who is wondering if we have conversation on relationships we do that and marriages just go on our YouTube and I like the insight that you've given because I've noticed respect is very very important and I like that phrase by Wolan Shata a good dancer knows when to exit the stage also the comment on trust your instinct because so many of us feel it's no longer serving my needs it's no longer right but we just want to hold on for one reason or the other now at what point in this day and time we need penyumefika kwa maisha what are some of the things that u kiyona ziko missing in your relationship you decide to just walk away and start afresh someone who tries to change me why am you know I cannot even tolerate you maybe personally I'm a dancer and then hey me that dancing I'm not okay with it hey the first day the second day I won't tolerate that it's either we are together or not I will not change myself to satisfy your need so yeah I will quit and run away from you and I think that's a very important thing to highlight because so many people get into relationships and they want to change the other person and that might mean you don't like them how they are there's something that's missing that you're looking for that you want to add or take away so what's the point of being with that person so that's a very important thing to note and we've noticed Ian most people are saying affection and respect senya ziko una jitua by the way do you think it's very important for you to have respect kama to say my love at Emeisha lakini respect padoiko apu would you leave your relationship I would I don't feel like it's fair for me to waste your time and for you to waste your time yeah I would because if I feel like your affection towards me is maybe dwindling at some point then I feel like that's my key to live just like one of the commenters said a good dancer knows when it's time to leave the stage exit so I'll actually exit just for my well-being and for your well-being yeah and what about I think I've had this with so many people saying particularly in marriages because I think the whole point of relationships is to end up in marriage something long term I've had so many people saying ma penzi uisha it's such a common phrase particularly with people who've been married for years and years but they say friendship that's what remains and maybe such a respect affection someone being attentive so we need ok ambi waivyo with the person that you're with right now when you think about 10 years from now when the love fades is that reason enough in new opinion to live a relationship no I think where should I live we've been married like for 20 years if the respect is there I will stay if the loyalty is there I will stay yeah for me I think love will not really make me in that relationship it doesn't make that much of a difference so forget all the things you've shared for 20 years na kama ni wania 20 years is probably long because you know with the marriage you've invested you have a family you have assets together you have a life together ok for what if it's a relationship that this is just a year into the relationship but you probably engage to the person and you're looking for to getting married ok I will live that is one to invest a lot of time because one thing if a man does not love you you will not change I do believe children you will never change that is something that you mention men will never change it's not like women to not go and taste it small things and you're like if I love that man but for me if that man tells me ah really not fit the love is na johata kwenbea directly you'll see by the actions you will see yeah so I will I will live if the love is not there ok men are men and you remember this that I've also heard that women can grow to love but a man needs to love from the very get go now I've also seen a comment on trust and we've been having a conversation particularly last week we were talking about how we can rebuild trust after it's been broken by someone and you've forgiven them you've let go by the way Ian do you think if trust is broken in your relationship it's reason enough for you to say I'm no longer doing this yeah and why is that I feel like the whole basis of our relationship a solid foundation for relationship is trust we can't trust each other we can't be companions we can't be companions I don't think we are actually doing any good to each other yeah ok and I think also na johata trust by the way ni kilakitu if I can trust you then I can even share I can be myself I can let loose but if there's no trust as you've said then what are we building our foundation on like what's the what's the relationship based on and sasa kunaizi to say jukuna breakups crazy squeezy muta nezamka kwa mbe by the way mi mi si fili story na enda mi mi ni me choka Ian dey maki kwa mbei wu na do suna tu wu na seman sawa wu na sema tu ni sawa na me share na soga wini wu ta do wunaka utanda kofisi wu kwa like what do you mean wu na niya chahaje kwa nuwe sawa what we've gone through yeah but he'll nukweli just can't change a man wana waka seman no it's a no for him it's a no it's not like castro panga ok sawa yes as long as you do this and this we can look it back yeah and do you think you should be given reasons when someone is breaking up with you yeah don't sing a relationship nene zile ma kosa yeah lazimu ni chahane wunia bebe dey never wu kwa na ni pia time wuli kwa so friendly with other men yeah na kamao yeah he shall tell me because I want to perfect the other news be next relationship I feel like we need to na fatumuiti a patu and be a story wu dey ma na to feature ma story nyingi amegi control you've seen her reel that story in very fast no we need we just want you to share imagine to know by to know it's a safe place it's a safe space all over see it's a safe space here on Power Talk it's family that's true because you know it's important for someone to even tell you why they're letting go then you can understand yeah if I do better if I change one or two things then maybe I can in my future relationship I can do better but people genuinely are so afraid of breaking you can break up I think come here and then the initial conversation of when you're getting into the relationship these are things that people generally avoid Ian how do you think someone should break up on phone am I in person? always tell me in person if you're breaking up with me on phone that's like insulting my intelligence I feel like I feel like you think that for everything that I gave into this relationship I feel like you're treating it as a joke you feel like I wasn't doing enough and if I wasn't doing enough you didn't have the guy to tell me that you know I want you to do this this and this but if you're telling me in person for me it'll be like what? nisawatu for me that one nisawatu because when you talk in person then you have clarity and Sasa people sometimes we grow at different rates because I may sometimes you want to see the potential in someone and you're like no I see he's going to be a CEO he's going to do this and that but currently he's not doing that currently he's not even doing the bare minimum because there are people who we see the potential of but her one year effort do you think it's okay to live a relationship your goals and your development your growth rate is very different ya sure ya even if the love is there the relationship is still good but kwa sababu una grow at a different pace ya una failu nika nakudraginyoma mimi I will go I will run away from you because if I'm like nimi me panga like maybe in the next two years nimi nata kwa nimi me jenga we have a land we have a family nia ba doko those are two different people and I'll feel like you're dragging me behind so no and no and no if I feel like we have different goals definitely I'll run from you because you're here to drag me behind I want someone we think together ya we have this plan ya to grow to grow kia nimuhimu nimuhimu important important neza sa on that note if you're unhappy ya and if you just wake up and you feel like for the past month mi situatione jakuena nibamba I do not feel like I'm at peace in this relationship do you think that's reason enough for you to walk away? ya because I wouldn't want to dump my frustrations on my partner but don't you think unheza jipati ati useme maybe I'm unhappy because of work maybe I'm unhappy because of life the economy, the weather because sometimes how do you know it's not a quick decision how do you know it's the right decision rather as opposed to because ya you might be unhappy and you don't want to project that but your partner might be supportive and I say ma babe imagine kuja kuja I've got you even if you've lost your job you've gone through this and that I'm here how do you know it's the right decision to live because you're unhappy in a situation that's a tricky one because a lot of factors will play into this I feel like if I'm unhappy then I won't want to project my frustrations on you but then again as I said earlier I want you to see me in my bad days for you to know whether you're actually willing to bear with me because maybe you might see me on my good days everything is working out but you've never actually seen me like why things are going downhill really fast for me and maybe that will actually change your perspective on where you stand with me and you might feel like why? I don't feel like it's working out but the moment that you'll tell me like don't worry everything's going to be fine that doesn't actually have to mean that you'll do something for me that cash warrants your warrants the warrants that will actually give me is actually the one that will know why you got me, I got you yeah because sometimes it's okay to just imagine take some time off imagine go through whatever you're going through because in relationships you're both human beings you're both experiencing other things aside from your relationship so it's a very fine line you can't really decide like am I unhappy because of the relationship am I unhappy because of external factors how is it affecting that so as you've said it's really tricky but the assurance that someone gives you the support just being there it really adds value but now let's talk about this is a relationship and I've mentioned standing on business but closure closure has some of us in shackles we are bound when I say no I left my favorite top there Winnie how do we stand on business wow it's hard yeah you imagine you may create one down to for three years hmm I mean it's a sense you won't understand us you won't understand us I understand you I feel you because maybe let's say this person was like Miss Jim when I was standing on a toxic man because clearly I also love toxic men I don't know the next guy it will be a case study it will be a case study by the way because you know that's a serious conversation why do women love bad boys for real the next man when I steam pugu inje the toxic man she will not provide but you'll still go to that man he's not provide you're like oh my god Ian he's not a toxic man he's not a toxic man but anyway we'll do it together ladies imagine let's avoid toxic people I know there's an appeal I know maybe the movies the books have made the bad boys seem like he's the best but for your mental health imagine just avoid I feel like avoid Ian, come here yako because you know I've had an encounter I had a situation where a friend of mine was telling me alibreakap nam tu om chaga kuja kumlangoyake actually I've brought back your belongings belongings una jonini hairband hairpin and I don't know maybe one sweater or something alafukariya bag actually na kuleche bichu zakul ko meacha how do you stop yourself even if you're invested and you're in love with someone but you know the situation wasn't serving you anymore how can you stop yourself from going back to the same person you just don't it's simple no you can't say you just don't because if people called they wouldn't I just don't that's why we don't get why we will go back to someone for me I won't Ian anakam hadko we need Ian's access to come over here and let us know what was going on because no you've never had that one situation where you were so in love your first love because for men their first love is so significant and you didn't want to let go how did you get over your first love I did indeed my first love because that actually spared me disappointments in the future because when you use the term first love that relationship will be like one way because you're the one giving the love so much Ian me hadko who you who is the perfect example what do you mean my solution is to go back to the situation and for instance when I was in love I was in love I went back to the situation I went back to the situation I think I can go back to the situation and love myself I'll be able to cope up with that situation of going back there when I was in love I went back to the situation I'll not go for that love again because it was toxic I like that I really like that because honestly I feel like some of the solutions is you have to find what you're searching for within yourself because so many of us are looking for maybe even security someone to listen to us someone to love us someone to give us attention but when you look back are you giving yourself those things sometimes we were talking about expectations you expect someone to provide you with finances you expect them to provide you with assets but are you providing yourself with the same exact things because that's very important especially in the healing journey once you accept that this situation is done it wasn't good for me but it's okay we can move on and life will continue because imagine where is the kufa where is the kufa it feels like you'll die but you can't die especially I've had stories who people unfortunately they've taken their lives because of love that didn't work out and you realize that that was probably not even the greatest love that you ever had kuna mungi nukwangi kupenda evens idea and you just missed out on that so I think that's a good place to end this conversation at because time is also not on our side so I can end by maybe asking you to share your socials and a parting shot of this conversation let me start with Winnie because ladies first Ian she will read akumbu kei is supposed to provide anyway I'm providing the platform my time not you taking crack Timo he's giving a apa iyan anatu chachainu producer on all my social media platforms Sparkles of Mumbai YouTube TikTok and Instagram I like that Sparkles of Mumbai you're definitely glowing I can see well the sparkles and glowing is coming in so please follow her Ian what about you how can we find you after this always on Instagram at iansquad okay on all social media platforms at iansquad eh but Ian mimi apa na I feel like both of my guests now tunafa tukuna meeting you may attend exactly ya there is I need to find out could you refer us to maybe your ex modzaivi my ex tumongel eche at on her Instagram at she's never existed okay kohayo machache thank you so much for sticking with us this has been a very wonderful show I hope you've enjoyed this a repeat of this show will happen tomorrow between 1 p.m. and 2 p.m. and I'd just like to thank the entire team of everyone who has made this happen thanks to you as well for taking your time to sticking to watching Y254 a new program is going to come in right after we have some inspiration we have some entertainment we have some more discussions coming your way on Y254 TV but that is it for the Power Talk Show my name is Sheryl Blessing and I hope you have a lovely evening