 Are you stuck in an ever-ending cycle of people-pleasing, even at the expense of your own well-being? It might be deeper than you think. In this video, we'll explore the signs and effects of fawning, a trauma response that often goes unnoticed. So, what is fawning? Pete Walker, a psychotherapist and PTSD expert, defines fawning as a maladaptive response to create safety in relationships. It involves people-pleasing, marrying others' expectations, needs, and desires, while neglecting one's needs to avoid conflict or harm. But how does fawning come into play? It's one of the four fear responses, fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. And it can be triggered by childhood trauma, domestic violence, bullying, racism, kidnapping, war captivity, cults. However, one can get trapped in fawn mode. If our nervous system gets dysregulated due to early or consistent exposure to trauma. So what are the warning signs that your overly nice behavior might be rooted in fawning? Let's find out. Solitary retreat. Do you frequently isolate yourself, preferring your own company over interacting with others? Well, this can be influenced by trauma. Past trauma can make people withdraw from social interactions. It's like a defense mechanism, you know? And there's more to it, too. Additionally, fawners shut down their own emotions to satisfy the emotional needs of others. Ultimately, this constant people-pleasing makes fawners mentally and emotionally exhausted. So, to cope with overwhelming demands, fawners create a protective barrier by mentally disconnecting from people. Harmonious appeasement. Fawners often go to extreme lengths to please others and avoid potential conflicts and are often afraid of saying or doing something that could upset others. This behavior is closely tied to setting high standards and striving for perfection. As fawners worry that any mistake or disagreement could result in losing the people they care about. Apology Reflex. Do you constantly say sorry, even when it's not your fault? You always apologize to keep the peace and prevent potential disagreements. It feels like you've got an automatic sorry button. According to psychotherapist Katie McKenna, excessive apologizing is a common characteristic of fawning behavior. If this video is helping you, please give it a thumbs up and subscribe for more. Helper's Burden. Do you constantly find yourself preoccupied with other people's problems but struggle to accept help for yourself? Is it challenging to let others assist you because you prefer to be the one offering help? Fawning can lead individuals to develop a pattern of self-reliance, making it hard to accept help from others and finding it uncomfortable to be on the receiving end of support. Altruistic Neglect. Fawners often think about everyone's problems except theirs. Likewise, they often feel a strong need to keep others happy and may disregard their own issues in the process. Do you prioritize solving everyone else's problems? Your kindness and selflessness is admirable but it's essential to remember that your needs matter too. Perfectionist Idealism. Fawners often struggle with perfectionism because they fear failure and feel the need to be perfect in everything they do. Sadly, this pursuit of perfection can lead to ongoing stress and unhappiness when they can't meet their unrealistic expectations. Do you always feel bad when you don't satisfy everyone? Remember, you're human. Not a superhero. Suppressed emotional eruptions. Fawners prioritize their loved ones' happiness, making it hard for them to open up during tough times. They fear burdening their loved ones with their issues as a result, emotions build up and can become overwhelming. Eventually, Fawners may have sudden outbursts or find relief by expressing their feelings to strangers or on platforms like social media where the stakes feel lower. So, are you too nice for your own good? If you can relate to these signs, it's possible that fawning, a trauma response, plays a role in your overly nice behavior. But fear not. Change is possible. You hold the power to reclaim your self-worth, learn new behaviors, and unlearn old ones. Being nice doesn't mean sacrificing yourself to please others. It's about finding a middle ground where kindness, self-respect, and self-compassion coexist. If you feel stuck in Fawn mode or are seriously struggling to recover from trauma, know that it's okay to ask a mental health care professional for help. You can be kind and understanding without neglecting your needs. If you're wondering how to start, this video here may help. For more resources, you'll find all relevant studies in the description box below. Remember, you're so special and your well-being is important. Which signs can you relate to? Let us know in the comment section.