 I've met a lot of rash, bold men in my travels who paid a high price for their notorious reputations. But I've never met a man who has paid as much as you have. Was it worth it? Gun. Will travel. Starring Mr. John Daner as Paladin. San Francisco. 1875. The Carlton Hotel. Headquarters of the man called Paladin. It just isn't possible. It's ridiculous. Hey, yes, come in. Let me see you trying to address her again. Mr. Paladin! Hey, Mr. Paladin, what's the matter? You call around on floor like that. Hey, boy, it just isn't possible. It's vanished, completely vanished. Oh, am I? You slipped out of my hand. I was standing right there. But where is it? Where did the confounded thing go? Oh, I'll help you look, Carl. Let's see now. Mr. Paladin, what we look for? My collar button. Oh, let's see now. It just isn't possible. And I'm due for my appointment with the Countess in 15 minutes. The Countess? The right honourable Countess of Dunkley-Tatsboro. She sent me a note. Oh, yes, she's a guest in a hotel. She's a very nice lady. Come in. Maybe it's over. Where's the floor like that? Mr. Wong, maybe you'll come back later. We're very busy. Hey, boy, it's quite right, Ms. Wong. You've come in a rather bad time. Come back later, please. And for the 11th straight year, camel outsold every other cigarette, filter, king size and regular. The best tobacco makes the best smoke. So if you're smoking more now but enjoying it less, change to camels. Get more real satisfaction every time. Start to really enjoy smoking again. A real cigarette, a real cigarette, a real cigarette. Thanks to Ms. Wong, I arrived for my appointment promptly at 10. Lady May, the right honourable Countess of Dunkley-Tatsboro, waited for me in her sitting room. Stiffly erected an enormous highback chair. She was every inch a noble woman, a delicate, bird-like, lovely old lady with snow-white hair and alert blue eyes. Sit down, Mr. Paladin. Thank you. You are the gentleman with the gun who travels? Yes. Rather an odd calling, but then I suppose is only temporary. Well, sometimes a business like mine can be very temporary. Really? Oh, yes, of course. Well, Mr. Paladin, I am here in San Francisco for only one reason. To avail myself of your unusual services. I'm flattered, Lady May. My husband, the Earl of Dunkley-Tatsboro, died three years ago. The title and estate, primogeniture, you know, passed my eldest son, Gerald. Dear boy, Gerald, very much like his father, stuffy and abhorrent, but a dear nevertheless. Six months ago, Gerald met with an unfortunate shooting accident, Partridge. Partridge? On the moors in the mist. Who can see anything? Besides, Pamela, such a beastly, charred, detestable girl I never did like her. Pamela? Gerald's wife. She shot him. Oh, that was indeed most unfortunate. So now the title and estate passed my son Bertrand. That's where you come in. I want you to find him. He's lost? Oh dear, no, he's somewhere in this splendid country of yours. Well, it's quite a large country, you know. Oh, yes, indeed. Well, where would I start looking for him? That is, if I started out to find him. Well, the last post I had from the dear boy was from a place called Stinking Springs. Ah, doesn't it? Well, it narrows it down. Now that's in the Gila River section. But that was over a year ago. Lady May, was Bertrand what we call a remittance man, banished from home, living on an allowance? He's banished. He's rather a harsh word, Mr. Paladin. And as for an allowance, Bert is quite wealthy in his own right from his godmother, the dear Duchess. When he came to this country, he had a deposit of 50,000 pounds to his credit in the Chase National Bank of New York. About a quarter of a million dollars. That's quite a sum. I must confess, Mr. Paladin, I was always inclined to favor Bertrand. He was a delicate child, mild-mannered, gentle. He grew to be a fine man. But there was always conflict with his father, who felt he was a weakling, nambi-pambi-sappi. It seemed the wise thing that Bertie should leave England. Do you think he'll want to go back? He must. He's now the Earl of Dunkley-Tatsboro. He must take his rightful place. Yeah. This ring. Take it, Mr. Paladin. When you'll find him, and I know you shall show it to him. He bears the family crest. And if he should hesitate at all, say this. Say, Mums needs her Twinkie Boy? Mums needs her Twinkie Boy? Yes. He will understand. Oh, here is his picture. It was taken four years ago. Just before he left England. Ah, good. Let's see. I mean, this is the right Honorable Bertrand, Earl of Dunkley-Tatsboro? Yes. Poor dear. I brood so about it. He's going so far away, feeling he was unwanted. Well, Lady May, he doesn't have to feel unwanted anymore. He's wanted by the territories of Arizona, New Mexico, and Texas. Dear boy, whatever do you mean? Well, I hate to say this, but there's no mistake, this picture. This is Bad Bert. Oh, my no. That's Lord Bertrand taken four years ago. That is Bad Bert. He's known as a tough, dangerous road agent. No. I'm sorry, Lady May. Yes. Dangerous. Yes. Well, I wish his father could hear that. Bully for Bertie. Constipation is something people don't talk about much, but it can be a problem for anyone, even doctors. And when constipation occurs, it's interesting to see just what doctors consider important about a laxative they might use or recommend. Well, a majority of the doctors we heard from had this to say, a laxative should be effective, gentle, as close to natural acting as possible, and a medicine that can be used with complete confidence. Now, x-lax has been popular with many doctors and millions of people over the years because pleasant tasting chocolate at x-lax is effective. Overnight, it helps you toward your normal regularity. X-lax is gentle. Next morning, it gives you the closest thing to natural action. And that's why many doctors and millions of people use x-lax with complete confidence. X-lax, the laxative that helps you toward your normal regularity, gently, overnight, is x-lax in your medicine cabinet? I couldn't see much chance for success in locating the Earl of Dunkley-Tatsboro alias Bad Bert, since obviously the combined law enforcement in the Southwest had failed in this endeavor. But Lady May had offered a handsome fee, twinkled her eyes at me, and besides, I was curious. I wondered why anyone with 50,000 good substantial English pounds to draw on would bother to hold up a stage. It was a search without much plan or direction, but I started by looking at my friend Truman Billings, the sheriff of Navajo County. The walls of his office were plastered with wanted posters, and among them I found Bad Bert. Well, to tell you the truth, Paladin, we don't know an awful lot about that, fella. He's a real bafflin cuss. Well, have you made any real effort to track him down? Oh, look at that wall, Paladin. Look at the wattage we got. We have to do our work where we get the most pressure. What do you mean by that? Well, take these stagecoach robberies. Now, the insured shipments that get held up, payroll, stuff like that, these we get pressure on. Those insurance companies are on our tail every minute. Now, there's Bert here. He lifted a lot of gold, but there was all private shipments, none of it insured. Just happened to work out that way. It always worked out that way? Yeah, same report from every place he's operated. But what about these private parties who lost gold to Bert, the people for whom the shipments were intended? Didn't any of them ever apply any pressure? No, not that I recall. I figure they must have been folks passing through, took it as something you got expecting this part of the country. I've heard about Bert and makes him out to be a pretty tough character. Was anyone ever killed or injured in any of these holdups? No, but don't kid yourself, he ain't tough. He's got himself a gang of the worst outlaws in the country. What's your interest in him, Pellet? I have a message for him. Well, you watch yourself if you ever run into him. He's a bad one. I don't suppose you could tell me what the message is. I could, but you wouldn't believe it. Lady May had given me a list of the postmarks on all the letters Lord Berton had written home to England in the past four years, and I checked each town. Everyone seemed to know, fear, and respect bad Bert, the road agent. I discovered that he had become a sort of legendary character, and the tales about him had grown with the telling. The road from Sulphur Flats to Hela Bend was a desolate one. I was the only passenger and a coach, but a heavy chest was riding in the boot. Yes, here's a hold up, mister. Come on, get out. Ah. Ah, feels good to stretch my legs. Just drop your gun, mister. Now drop it. And watch yourself, and you won't get hurt. It's in the boot, boys. Come on, hurry it up. Now, mister, it's your coach being robbed by Bad Bert, leader of the toughest gang in the west. That's very interesting. Why do you tell me that? Boss's orders. He's up there. Are we up there on the hill? He's got a spyglass. Then he doesn't actually take part in these robberies. Oh, he figures, mister. So far he done real good. All right, you got it, boys? Let's move. I've got something here I want you to take to your boss. Get your hand out of that pocket. Get him up now. Well, you get it then. It's in my vest pocket here in the ring for your boss. What's the idea? I think he'll want this one. I'll take it to him. It's in this pocket. Here. Uh-oh. What's that? Boss, you see me through that spyglass. You see me reaching your pocket. We ain't supposed to take nothing but the gold. You got some funny ideas. Well, you show him that ring, he'll understand. And my name is Paladin. I'm going to be at the King Hotel in Hila Bend. Don't forget that. Oh, don't you forget. This is your coach, Rob, by Bad Bird. Come on, boss. Even if you've had embarrassing dandruff for years, you can get rid of it now in three minutes. That's all it takes with Fitch Dandruff Remover Shampoo. Yes, unsightly, Dandruff's gone in three minutes with Fitch. Quickest, easiest of all leading shampoos. What's more, using Fitch regularly is guaranteed to keep embarrassing dandruff away. Just a plus. Just apply in the unique Fitch Manor before you wet hair. Rub in one minute. This way, Fitch Shampoo penetrates right down to the scalp. Next, add water. Lather one minute to wash every trace of dandruff out of your hair. Then rinse one minute. All that loosen dandruff goes down the drain. In three minutes with Fitch, one rubbing, one lathering, one rinsing, dandruff's gone. At the same time, gentle Fitch can leave your hair up to 35% brighter. To get rid of dandruff problems forever, brighten hair too. Use Fitch regularly. Get Fitch Dandruff Remover Shampoo today. Only 59 cents. When the stagecoach reached Heal of Bend, I went immediately to the freight office. I was anxious to learn if the party who lost the shipment of gold to bad Burt would be as disinterested as the others. The gold had been addressed to Hobbs L. Puffer Esquire. The clerk had never heard of the gentleman. But then I remember that Hobbs L. Puffer was the name of the Cambridge Cricket Champion who had died three years ago. That's when I awarded a telegram to the Chase National Bank of New York, requesting an immediate reply. I checked into the King Hotel, had a drink, dinner, and started back to the telegraph office. I was just rounding the corner when I felt the gun at my back. Paladin, you and me is going to take a little trip. Boss won't see you. All right. The first time I'm going to step into the telegraph office. You heard me. You heard me. Yes, sir. What can I do for you? My name is Paladin. Did you get an answer to my wire? Sure did. Here it is all written out. Thank you. Get up and come on. We can't keep the boss waiting. As we followed a trail that led over a mountain, I had a lot of time to think about the message and it confirmed what I guess I'd already known. Lord Bertrand had been stealing from himself, ordering the shipments of gold from his account to be delivered in a fictitious name, then setting up the hold-up and splitting with his men. It was almost daylight when we reached Bad Bert's headquarters. There's quite a place you have here. Yeah, some hideout, huh? Indeed it is. Now, this here door leads to the drawing room. Drawing room? That's what the boss calls it. I can't figure why. Everybody's waiting for you to get on in. Well, here he is, boss. Oh, yes. Come in, Mr. Paladin. Bert, nice place you have here. Thank you. We like it. More like a fancy hunting lodge than a hideout for thieves. Don't bother with introductions. I recognize these boys from their pictures. Your group certainly adds up to a tidy little sum and reward money. Well, Mr. Paladin, we can do nicely without your drolery. I brought you here simply to ask where did you get this ring? It was given to me, along with a message for you. A message? Well, come in. What is the message? It's heavy. I think you'd better send your men out. No, not at all. My companions remain with me. Now, please, message. All right, Bert, you asked for it. But... Mums needs her twinkie boy. Now, what's that supposed to mean? Why, you don't talk to me? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Mr. Paladin. Well, you can't stand still for that kind of insulting talk, boss. No. Gentleman, I'm going to have to ask you to leave the drawing room after all. This is a matter I feel that I must settle myself. That a boy, boss, because he's too darn smart. Come on, fellas. Mr. Paladin, from your message it appears that my tenure here is over. Oh, you couldn't have held out much longer anyway. Even 50,000 pounds doesn't last forever when you're cutting in practically every outlaw on the frontier. Oh, but it was money well spent, Mr. Paladin. You can't possibly imagine. I think I can, Lord Bertrand. Or should I say, bad Bert? Oh, yes. Bad Bert. Boss. Wanted. Well, if Mums needs her twinkie boy. So people come into me and they say, Otto, you were once a great chef. Because I am now selling meat in my butcher shop one sometimes forgets I know lots about cooking me too. I'll let you in on a little cooking secret of mine. French's Worcestershire sauce. Only French's Worcestershire has in it a collection of spices the Germans know accentuates a good flavor of meat. French also has soy, anchovies, tamarins, I could go on and on for these ingredients too to everyday food. Mouth watering. May I suggest you try this with pot roast? Add one tablespoon French's to each cup of gravy. Would you believe the difference? With French's you really spark up your meals and people will say my goodness but you're a wonderful cook just as they used to say to me. Yeah, I've finished with this, Miss Wong. You can take the tray downstairs. I keep thinking all the time of this bad Bert you tell me about. He really rough his own money then divide up with Batman? Well you understand of course Miss Wong the men didn't know it was his money they just figured he was a pretty clever boss planning all those successful hold ups and naturally in the custom among thieves there had to be a division of the spoils. He's about to seem very funny Rob he's showing money. Well Miss Wong, Bert was a meek little man painfully aware of his insignificance. He desperately needed to feel important, feared, a big man even if it cost him his inheritance. How much money to have bad refutation? Ah, but Bert had his day of glory. Now Lord Bertrand the Earl of Dunkley Tutsboro is back in England attending to his estate where he'll live out his days and be forgotten. But mark you my words the stories about bad Bert will grow and be told and retold until nobody will know where the truth leaves off and the tall tales begin but he'll be remembered. Brother, this miserable cold and my sinuses. Haven't you heard about Dristan? Dristan decongestant tablets not only help drain all eight sinus cavities critical areas of colds infection but circulating through the blood Dristan reaches all congested areas. In one fast-acting uncoated three-layer tablet Dristan for the first time combines a decongestant to shrink all swollen membranes relieve pressure and pain an exclusive anti-allergent to help keep breathing passages dry and clear. Pain relievers to ease body aches reduce fever. Vitamin C to help build body resistance. This is Dristan. Today Dristan is widely imitated but the exclusive Dristan formula cannot be duplicated for real relief from colds misery and sinus congestion there is nothing nothing like Dristan decongestant tablets. Of Gun, Will Travel Created by Herb Meadow and Sam Rolf is produced and directed in Hollywood by Frank Parris and stars John Daener as Paladin with Ben Wright as Hayboy and Virginia Gregg as Miss Wong. Tonight's story was specially written for Have Gun, Will Travel by Ann Dowd. Featured in the cast were Lauren Stopkin, Bartlett Robinson, James Nusser and Peggy Weber. This is Hugh Douglas inviting you to join us again next week when CBS Radio presents Have Gun, Will Travel.