 Hello everyone and welcome to Unsettling Dramaturgy's fourth practice session for virtual collaboration. In this four-part series we address approaches to and practices in online convening that center unsettling decolonization, indigenization and disability justice in process design. The series emerges from our year plus of work and research in transnational convening and creative collaboration through virtual mediums. The series is being, it has been developed as our response to turn toward online organizing that has followed the COVID-19 crisis. Today's session is on irreconcilable spaces. Before we jump in, we want to flag that we're starting our sessions with introductions and to check in with each unsettling dramaturgy collaborator. We want honor that this time is what cultivates the intimacy and vulnerability that shapes what's possible in our discussions on the scene for the rest of the session. But we also want to honor your time as an audience and recognize that the digital fatigue many of us are facing is very real and we want to be transparent that we'll finish this introduction set in approximately 45 minutes. So if you'd like to leave and return at any time, please feel free to do so. This is Jessica unsettling dramaturgy is an ongoing project bringing together Crip and indigenous dramaturgs from across so called Canada and the United States, who work in theater, dance and experimental performance. Using digital platforms, we gather to build relationships to explore and document the critical convergences and divergences in our experiences and work to amplify Crip and indigenous aesthetics, ethics, practices and leadership in our local, national and international performance ecologies to push the conversations from inclusion to centering from reconciliation to unsettling and decolonization. For a full description of our project, you can check out our Facebook page unsettling dramaturgy Crip and indigenous dramaturgies. This project is generously supported by the literary managers and dramaturgs of the Americas fly creative capacity grant and the Canada Council for the Arts. So let's get right out to our partner hell around which is live streaming today's event for us. We want to recognize that zoom, the platform that we're using to come together today is headquartered in what is now called San Jose California on the traditional lands of the Olone and Tami and people's check. So today's plan for our session is number one, following our opening, unsettling dramaturgy creative collaborators will engage in exchange on the theme. We will speak from our respective and body knowledges and practices with an orientation towards expanding collective practice as is relevant to local ecologies. We will then take a 10 minute break on the hour, we will take 10 minute breaks on all of the hours. So we will announces when they come. Secondly, Jill will lead creative collaborators in turn in those tuning in live through elements of the process developed for encounters at the edge of the woods, activating the discussion of irreconcilable irreconcilable spaces through embodied creative practice. And thirdly, we are excited to have to rock. Oh my gosh. You know, quarantine. Sorry, junk if I said your name wrong. I'm so sorry. Yes, they are waving. I will be Dylan Dylan digitally virtually recording this event for us. Oh my gosh, at various moments during this event to I will share the visual record they are creating and this will be visually described. Finally, number four is exchanging with you all who are watching from home. We are excited to interact with you dear viewers throughout the session to hear your questions and your reflections to interact with us during this event. You can use one of three options. You can email us at unsettling dramaturgy at gmail.com. You can comment on the live stream on the unsettling dramaturgy Facebook page. And then our unsettling dramaturgy co-coordinator will be checking these accounts throughout the session. You can also email us your stories that are inspired by this process now and at any time. And finally, we will engage in a group closing. So what we do is learning of how we do it. The process is the work. Check. I'm going to talk a bit about accessibility. So today's session is being live captioned an ASL interpreted cart or live captioning is available on the hell round live stream. H T T P S colon backslash backslash R E C A P D dot com backslash w middle slash B F capital D capital P L B. Thank you. And ASL interpretation is available on both the Facebook and the how around live streams. ASL interpretation and cart are essential elements of how we built this environment. We want to acknowledge that both deaf folks and interpreters have to work extra hard together to ensure clarity and communication that some people who use spoken English may take for granted. So we thank you for that extra labor. So both the online cart are vital and indispensable access practices, and they require input from deaf folks to do well. They're also complex and complicated in navigating our online forums, which points to the limits of the programs in the systems we're using that don't consider or makes base for accessibility across a multiplicity of practices and needs. So both of these points to our commitment to working within and challenging imperfect systems in order to honor honor the value that comes from cross disability solidarity work and community building. Visual description is also embedded in our practice. So we're working in an emergent and responsive state throughout today's event, adjusting our pace and the shape of our conversations to reflect the pace and shape of all collaborators will name our access needs at the top of the event and again as they arrives throughout our time together. We want to acknowledge that trauma is in the quote unquote room in doing this, we want to acknowledge that all of us have established practices of care for ourselves, and we want to honor and include those practices. This includes the practices that have been pathologized, but have done important work. We invite everyone here in terms of the collaborators and anyone tuning in live to take care of yourself in whatever way is necessary. Everyone's welcome to vocalize to use technology to stem to move around to leave and to return to the event at any time. Also learning from disabled artists and organizers of the festival. I want to be with you everywhere in New York. We want to acknowledge those that who can't be here and who could never be here because of inaccessible and equitable structures, and the ways that these realities bump up against our embodied needs and experiences. You are welcome and appreciated and an important part of our community. And a recording of this event will be available for future viewing through the unsettling dramaturgy Facebook page and on the whole around website. Check. And we'll now start with our check ins. So during these will be stating our name, pronouns applicable land acknowledgments, a physical description, how we are our access needs, and an introduction to some aspect of your work or practice. We invite folks to please endeavor towards brevity as appropriate. And we'd like to encourage the folks with us in the audience to share their own land acknowledgments by a text email voice message or comment on the live stream. Thank you all. Go ahead and go since I'm unmuted. Tasha, my name is Jessica shocked. I'm Metis Canadian living as an uninvited guest on the traditional territory of the couch nation, also known as Duncan BC, which is part of the hook of medium treaty group currently in stage five treaty negotiations. Very thankful. Okay, could we ask you to slow down a bit. It's way too fast when you're reading. Thank you. Thank you. You're on the territory of the hokey. Sorry, nation. Oh, the, the couch nation. And it's part of the hook of medium treaty group, which is currently in stage five treaty negotiations. Very grateful and thankful to live here. The couch and also known as the warm lands. Never far from the river, which is a very grounding place to be in this time. My pronouns are she her and my physical description. I have tan skin. I have dark brown eyes and dark brown hair. I'm wearing large gold rimmed glasses in a white linen shirt with a V neck. I'm in my living room, which is blue room with pink around. Well, all things considered, it's been a long week, but I have had lots of creative fulfillment, which I am grateful for. My access needs are that I have a tiny baby in front of me so you may see me making funny faces to entertain said child. I may need to attend to their needs throughout so my camera might go off as I tend to the human who is reliant on me. I work primarily as a dramaturg, new and indigenous work. I'm very interested in how we can break through colonial practices and get outside of what what the systems that we are taught to work within to measure our own success with our own metrics to indigenize our work. This is Tara. I'll go next. He's Jay. My name is Tara Moses. I am a citizen of the Seminole Nation of Oklahoma, as well as of Muskogee descent. I am calling in from Osage Muskogee and Cherokee Nations. This land is also the site of the 1921 massacre of the burning of Black Wall Street, also known as Tulsa, Oklahoma. My pronouns are she, her, hers. My physical description, I have light brown skin, very long, very dark hair, almost blue black today. I have bright red lipstick on a black sweater, and I'm sitting on a blue couch. And then there is art behind me and you can see a small corner of a blue and purple watercolor buffalo that I did a few years ago that my partner likes to say is floating through the clouds. This is how I am. We got off to a rough start. But I'm feeling more energized, more creative. I'm very excited for this conversation and to hear from so many of the brilliant minds in our digital room today. So, in regards to access needs, all of mine are currently being met. However, within the next 30 minutes to one hour, I will have to turn off my camera briefly to let workers into my apartment during this pandemic, as there is holes in my ceiling, linking rainwater right now. Introduction to my work. I am in addition to dramaturgine, predominantly indigenous stories, a director, a playwright, and an artistic director of an organization specifically dedicated to Latino and Native artists in their stories. I can jump in next. This is Lindsay Eales. I use the pronouns she and her and they and them are great as well. Here is a settler calling from Imaskwatsiwa-Skeiakan, which is a traditional gathering place of the Blackfoot, Cree, Papas Chase, Dene, Iroquois, Inuit, Nekotosu, Ojibwe, Soto, Anishinaabe, and Métis nations. And it's colonially called Edmonton. I'm really grateful for the budding plants that are starting to grow outside of my home. And I have a pale round face with freckles and bright red curly hair. I'm wearing black cat eye glasses with sparkles on them. I've got a black shirt on with some constellations on it and another hoodie. I am in my bed with pillows behind me, and there's a painting or a picture behind me, a big picture of two trees coming together with the sun peeking out between them. I'm feeling smooshy-brained and that's okay. Yeah, time feels a bit strange for me right now and it's long and short in unpredictable measures. So I'm just, yeah, feeling into that. I'm glad to be with everyone on this call today and I'm finding an interesting relationship between like showing up somewhere and not showing up somewhere and what it feels like to be with the folks when I do show up. So thank you for being people I can show up with. My access means I probably just need to move around a bit at some point. And I think what we're going to facilitate for the day makes a lot of space for that so that's wonderful. And I would say briefly my work in practice is in the area of MAD performance where MAD is a social and a political orientation to mental illness, quote-unquote mental illness. And also in relation to disability performance and integrated dance practice. And thank you for all sharing space with me today and also to the folks who are witnessing as audience. Check. I guess I'll go next. Hi. I'm Andrea Kovic. I'm she her parent. And I'm calling in from the ancestral homelands of the Coast Salish people, including the Duwamish, Suquamish and Muckleshoot nations. Specifically, I'm situated on the lands of the first people of Seattle, the Duwamish past and present. I live and work as an uninvited settler on land stolen from the Duwamish in the tree of Point Alley in 1885. And I honor with gratitude the land and the Duwamish tribe. And physical description. I have light skin and shoulder length brown hair with scragglies side swept wings and glasses. They're probably, there's a white wall behind me and a messy bookcase. How I'm doing, I'm not feeling the greatest today, but that's Crip Life, I guess. Yeah. And I know that everyone understands that so I'm in space of understanding. And I appreciate that. My access needs, I like to mention that I will exercise my right to be remain silent. Don't always feel that you need to vocally contribute to participate, so I appreciate that understanding. And for my dramaturgical work, I combine themes of accessibility and representation of disabled and deaf artists. And looking at what it means to have authentic voices centered. And that can look like a play reading festival or reading scripts or straight up dramaturgy. And that's my work. So check. Hi everybody, it's Carmen. My pronouns are he, him is. I'm speaking to you from the unceded and occupied territories of the Squahomish, Slewa Tooth and Musqueam people. I'm talking from my less than two year olds bedroom. We're sharing space right now and this is where I could set up. I'm sitting on a chair that I inherited from my, my Nono and my Nona. It's a crushed velvet sort of material, old wooden antique chair. I'm my first description, I'm wearing a dark leather flat cap, these big headphones on. I like olive skin, a dark beard, hazel eyes, wearing like a brown colored shirt and beige sweater and dark blue pants. It's how I'm feeling so like before I logged on today I started having a pain flare up, which, you know, often puts me out for a few days. It's kind of gauging how I'm feeling right now, and I feel comfortable sharing this with you all because I feel like in a supportive environment right now I know there's an audience as well but yeah I feel like I'm among friends and folks that I often share about how I'm feeling with. So I'm just gonna gauge how I'm doing and respond accordingly. I have my jade heating pad set up on my daughter's bed so I might just like slink away to there. Eventually or right after I talk. And yeah, so and I and I might have to leave to. So what I'm doing is about accessibility, I'm an interdisciplinary artist I'm usually responding to the conditions of my own access. I describe myself as a non visual artist, because I use my non visual senses as a primary way of navigating my surroundings. At a certain point in time I shifted value from the visual to the non visual so I really try to find ways to exercise my non visual senses and make opportunity opportunities for others to also practice using their non visual senses. I don't often like share publicly about my pain condition. And I think in unsettling dramaturgy is one of the few places that I have done that. It's an experience that I've had since I was a kid puts me in hospital quite a bit. So, yeah, I'm just trying to feel through how it feels to to share about that condition with you today and how I'm feeling with you today to so thanks for being here and making making that space for us. Check. This is Grant Miller. They them. Hello everyone. I am calling in from the traditional and unseated territory of the Chinook, Multnomah, Clackamas, Kath limit and Kalapuya people, as well as many other unnamed bands. This is the settler territory referred to as Portland, Oregon, USA. Acknowledgements as well to the nearby confederated tribes of the Grand Ronde, whose ancestors survived the Oregon Trail of tears, and tribal status was terminated by executive order in 1954 and restored with a lot of activism in 1983. I am currently floating over a virtual background of sort of kind of speckled white and green oval leaves in a very sort of quick paste image. It's a still image color, it's sort of like bluish green, but the other leaves sort of move sort of fast. When I look at them. And I am further away from my computer so I'm kind of small amongst these leaves wearing princess Leia silver headphones over my ears. I have. Right now my hair looks really pretty dark, but it's a lot more gray than it appears right now. I'm white with the sort of maroon button up shirt and a striped t shirt under it. I have sort of a tired look on my face, which I suppose kind of speaks to how I'm doing as well. It's funny to describe myself while also looking at an image of myself, because I kind of, there's some things I know to describe about myself but as I'm using the image as a reference. It's just interesting to kind of notice. I also have hands that drape like willow trees. And yeah, I think that that's the last thing I want to add. I am really glad to be here. My attention is a little bit split because I have been invited to participate in a project that has kind of a deadline that or sort of like things need to be done by June or like major thrust of it needs to be done by the end of June and it would need to happen pretty quickly. And so my mind, I'm really grateful for this opportunity but part of the reason that it, it's come my way is because a really prominent member of our community passed away, right before COVID. So there's a need for this, this opportunity to occur. And so I'm just, I'm, I'm still kind of reeling from just sort of the sudden work opportunity in this time. And it's work specifically related to disability and the arts, disability culture, disability justice. So sort of the form of it is still kind of very much on my mind. And so my attention is a little bit, I'm tired, because I spent a lot of last night thinking about it and kind of grieving the loss of this community member and the state of the world right now so I'm kind of tired, but I also, I'm also really glad to be here. I'm particularly excited for what you're going to do with us today Jill, and just to be present with all of you is very, very soothing to my heart. I'm also, I also keep getting a notice that my internet connection is unstable. So just going to work with that whatever that means. I think I might also sort of recline and lean back a little bit. And then some, some pain stuff and I might continue to take pain stuff throughout this so that might have impacts on my, my use of words. And usually that just means I still try to talk, but it gets a little, it gets a little fuzzy, in which case please ask me to clarify myself. I'm also going to be drawing, so I might be looking down and if it looks like I'm not attentive. I probably am drawing also helps me kind of stay connected. Anything else that I really want to throw in right now. Yeah, I just I really I love being with all of you. Oh, right introduction to my work or practice. So, a big part of my practice is adapting to shifting circumstances. So, in this moment, I, I, my feet are kind of sore on the ground so I'm going to kind of pump them a little bit to get the blood flowing. My work is situated within theater performance art movement and social practice. And I am a. I'm also a. I also do like consulting work around access, particularly with arts institutions but also cultural institutions or institutions that have some sort of direct role in producing or engaging culture. And that is with the curiosity paradox. My partner is also a consultant as well particularly to do with language their name is Jonathan paradox. And yeah, I suppose practices brings up a lot of questions about what, what is how to deform existing structures to make space for our bodies to be present. And so that can look a lot of ways. In our last session that looked like a practice that I developed in collaboration with Jonathan, two other collaborators, and dare so hey Larissa call, and that our practice was really about interrupting performance structure to folk and and meeting culture to really focus on practices of collective care, negotiating how we want to be witnessed in access, and then engaging reflective practices. And that's one of many ways that I work to and move to. I'm kind of a first using the word work that I move to deform existing structures. Yeah. Thank you. I also want to name another access need. I have a tendency to talk fast. And so, if anybody, including interpreters. Are willing to interrupt me, I would really appreciate it, because right now I'm drinking tea and it's warm and it's reminding me to move slowly. But I also really welcome the interruption to slow down, because I'm going to finish this tea soon. So, thank you. This is Lindsay, it looks like right now. We have yet to hear from Mia and Jill and Landon. Landon and I are just communicating privately in chat. I was just catching Landon up on what we're doing and sharing the questions that we are asking and answering. Yeah. Bill, do you feel like in a place to jump in or um, you'll had requested to go last. So Landon and I, one of us rock, paper, scissors. Oh, sorry. Also, yes. And I can just go because I'm talking. So this is Mia Amir. I'm coming in from the unseated and occupied territories of the Musqueam, Squahomish and Slewa Tooth peoples where I have lived most of my life. I am a Krip Mad Jew of mixed Ashkenazi and Sephardic ascent. And I was born in Israel occupied Palestine. I use she her hers as my pronouns. I am currently sitting in my bedroom on my bed with a tapestry of the tree of life behind me that is textured and has the colors brown various shades of brown, orange, blue, green. I have a wedge pillow behind me. I am wearing a blue shirt with a green head band on. I have dark hair, light skin, hazel eyes, a tired face. I think that's what needs to be shared right now. I'm lucky to be sheltering in place in my home, which is a safe place for me. And that feels good. I am feeling very, very dispersed right now because our dear co-coordinator, my dear co-coordinator of this project is sick. And so I'm holding down various aspects of our digital world right now as we're live. So I'm attending to our email and to the Facebook live stream and trying to keep us connected in a good way with anyone who has questions or is trying to tune in live and to contribute any reflections that they might have. So I, my, my, my attention is in multiple places. And I feel my heart beating very quickly. I feel my body's like nervous and anxious, and it probably doesn't help that I'm drinking coffee. My access needs are mostly met right now. I tend to live with a general state of brain fog due to my chronic illnesses. I am also the parent of a 15 week old baby. So that all creates a perfect opportunity for my brain to find multiple ways to be in present time and also to take care of itself, which means sometimes I'm not able to perform language in the ways that I want and feel the need to. So I appreciate any patience with me as I try to cobble together sentences. Other than that, I'm good. In terms of my practice, I say that I work at the intersection of creative and community practice. In real time, what that means is that I am a creator who is working in transdisciplinary media. I'm a sound designer, performer, a writer, a dramaturg, a director, working in theater and in transgressive experimental performance. I work from a disability, CRIP, mad aesthetic, and that is not something that conforms to a box that you can place a real definition inside of. To me, that's really about questions of design of process and the ways in which we relate to the place, space, relationships, those who are in the room, the proverbial room with us, those who are not in the room with us, the ways in which we allow our embodiments, our histories, our emergent and constantly fluctuating truths to inform and be welcome and part of the ways in which we come together to create work, but also to perform and design possibilities for imagining outside of the current conditions in which we exist. I work largely from sensation in my practice, even if my practice is sometimes largely language-based or sometimes largely image-based or sometimes largely sound-based. I'm always at the root and always looking for ways to allow the body to take the lead because I find that that is where the greatest truths in my life live, the way the body is in a constant state of interrelationship and interrogating that feels really important to me. I also do a lot of work inside of my communities to advocate for more just and humane ways of working, which for me are grounded in a CRIP-MAD experience, but are intersecting with class and racial justice, the ways in which we live in an ongoing state of colonization. So seeing all of these things as interrelated, and I'm very, very lucky to be the convener and co-coordinator of this project on settling dramaturgy, which brings together these incredible humans from across so-called Canada and the United States to be together and to find intersections and divergences in our work that are really important and I think pushing our communities to find new ways of working and making and being. Check. Thank you everyone for your introductions. While you may have seen me, my body disappearing off screen, I was just, I could still hear you, I just wasn't in camera range. So my name is T. R. A. Jung and my pronouns are they them or in Hawaiian, which is one of my lineages. You could describe my gender as Mahu, which is like a fluid or in between genders. And I am living on the occupied homelands of the Musqueam, the Slewa-Tooth, the Squamish, and yeah, that was three of them, of peoples. I've been an uninvited guest on these lands for the past 10 or 11 years. Something that I feel something about my relationship to these lands is that I have had the immense like privilege and honor of being able to witness and draw for a number of Indigenous groups and organizations and through that I got to meet and also through some other community connections. I got to meet the really generous Michelle Lorna Nahani. So she is a Squamish. Squamish. What's the word for I'm just forgetting that word. Not mother, but person in a position of like leadership. Matriarch. Matriarch. Thank you. I can see Mia leaning in to help me out in my little brain fart there. So she's a Squamish matriarch and she's just released a workbook called Decolonize Now. And I just think that she does really wonderful work to invite people to think about their relationship to the land and their relationship to indigenization and decolonization. So plugging that check that out decolonize now Michelle Nahani. And how am I, how am I doing today my access needs are met, and I apologize for the background noise I was going to have my Bluetooth headphones in this setup. I wanted to set up outside for all of you so that you could have better lighting on this board. And so it was a bit of an experimentation there's bungee cords and concrete blocks holding everything in place there. And my headphones just stopped working right before the call so I hope that it's not too chaotic over here. What do I want to say about this. Yeah, so graphic recording, the practice of listening, witnessing and reflecting back the work, all of you are doing is. I really hope together. I really hope to pull together some of the essences and illustrate the stories of this work. I think it can be really powerful to see all of that in one canvas. I would like to highlight some of the thoughts that people are sharing around irreconcilable spaces. So, I thank you for inviting me to bring graphic recording into the space. I'm going to be weaving together a visual story of your work. And I am excited to share near the end, some of the choices about why I chose to draw what I drew. And with that, I will check. That's the end of my chicken. Landon, if you're up for it, we would have you go next and then Jill finish us off with the introduction. My name is Landon. Sorry, an interpreter check to make sure her sound was on. There's no pronouns used in the deaf culture. So instead we usually describe what the person looks like because it's a visual language. So I'm wearing a dark shirt with rhinestones in a checkered and it's tactile. You can't see how shiny it is on the camera, but it is very shiny, especially when the sun hits it. Otherwise, it's a black shirt with rhinestones on it. You can see that. I didn't, I looked tired. It's been very busy and lots of meetings trying to develop projects. And I have a zoom exhaustion. You have to take for sure, pretty bad. My eyes are aching from having to stare at a screen all day. My deaf needs are met having interpreter today broken ava here with us to interpret for you. My work typically focuses on deaf theater and sign language art. A lot of people are unsure what the two are and they really are separate worlds. And the approach to them are different as well. They cannot be overlapped. So I'm going to start with language art, something I'm going to lean on. Oh, next piece here. Yeah, I think that's everything for me. Check. Hi, it's Jill here. Will we be breaking after this or should I just begin to launch in? I mean, seeing a nod from Tara. Okay, so I'll just do my little land acknowledgement thingy. And then I'll give it away. I won't go on. So I'm in Bojo. So I'm speaking to you from what is commonly known as Toronto, Ontario. This is a city located on the banks of Ontario, the beautiful Lake Ontario. Tagaranto, this place where the trees grow out of the water has sustained and been stewarded for thousands upon thousands of years by the Erie, by the patron, by the Wendat, by the horde and a Shawnee by the Missy sagic on a snobbock or Mississauga on a snobbock Mississaugas of the credit. And so she and her. Excuse me. I am. I have a virtual background behind me. It's a very scary gloomy looking virtual background. It's kind of gothic a stony. It is a photograph. It is a photograph I took of the entrance of heart house theater, which I'll be discussing in my thing. And it's actually a photograph of part of the installation so this is where the audience would enter in. They go down the set the stairs into the stone building which looks very much like a penitentiary. And on the door it's been observed at residential school. The banner, which is part of our installation hangs over the entrance of the door reminds patrons reminds us all that that of the potlatch band, which was an amendment to the Indian Act of eight. The Indian Act in Canada was first put into legislation in 1876, but in 1884 an amendment prohibited ceremonial performance silence their songs prohibited our dances and storytelling and the wearing of regalia until 1951. So this was part of an installation that I'll be referring to when I talk about process. What do I look like here and now scary very tired looking very worn and bedraggled brown hair, brown eyes, light brown skin. I think hair in a hair in the one style I can manage which is a top not tight top not with a hot pink scrunchie. My shirt is navy blue black and white kind of done in the tie dye ish straight be tie dye ish design. It's V net. And I'm wearing big gigantic glasses with black frames. My access needs so far so good. I am recovering from a lung infection so I may be coughing in the most unattractive way, as I've been doing for some time now. I'm a little tired but I will be speaking plenty of caffeinated sugary fluids. So perhaps to I should also welcome any interruption to slow down. And I think that's all I will say for now. Jack. Thank you everyone my dough. This is currently 611 p.m. Central time for 11 p.m. East Pacific time mass on the East Coast. Anyway, so we are going to take a 10 minute break. And so we will all convene at 22 after the hour. And so I will see everyone and we will be together virtually in 10 minutes. Remember that's 22 after the hour for 22, 622, 722. Thank you. Mia, I just wanted to confirm for you that I did get the PDF from Jill. I don't know if you're still there Jill, I did get it from you. And so that's ready to go. Grant, if you're still there. Would you be able to share our break screen. I have it, but I can send you the link to it. Great. Yes, I can. Thank you. I will do that now. I'm just going to put something up. I wait for that. I've just sent it to you in our chat grant. It is opening up as we speak. And I think we're on a 10 minute break. Thank you Grant. Thank you. Thank you. All right, you're slowly making our way back. Making sure ASL interpretation is good to go. Great. Awesome. Well, thank you all. Welcome back. And I'm really excited to hand it over to Jill. Check. Tara, thank you. So I'll be talking a little bit. And then we'll be moving into some prompts that will prompt us in some practical work or a little bit, a taste, microactivations and also discussion. Excuse me. And we, we absolutely welcome invite hope for the participation of, of, of all you wonderful people whom we can't see or hear right now. I believe you are able to access chat. I believe I don't know, or there are, there are email, et cetera. So there will be people, people moderate or, you know, moderating that looking over them. And hopefully we can bring some of your responses into, into the discussion and sharing today. So, okay, throughout this series, the members of the unsettling drama Turkey will have been putting our minds together to collaboratively imagine a future within the world of drama, theater and performing arts. A future that we would like to inhabit. And I am very grateful to them for opening this space within this series to talk about and play within a process or more accurately, a devised process that is still in progress through which I have been attempting with my own students and colleagues in D'Agaranto to begin to imagine relational repair and conciliation. The nation in which I live that calls itself Canada has branded this fraught historical moment an era of truth and reconciliation between Indigenous peoples and the settlers who now occupy our lands. It seems to me and my colleagues in this working group have supported this notion that reconciliation is a shameric goal. Together, we acknowledge that this reconciliation is an unachievable goal because as Metis curator David Garneau has rightly observed for reconciliation to occur, there must have at one time existed a respectful relationship that now marred by a breach is in need of repair. We acknowledge sadly that in most circumstances the occupiers of Turtle Island did not treat, make treaty with, treat with Indigenous peoples in good faith and did not meet Indigenous peoples with genuine goodwill. And we posit that while conciliation, the forging of right and respectful relationships between Indigenous and settler communities may yet be possible, they will require a retreat on both sides into what David Garneau has termed quote, irreconcilable spaces of aboriginality. Hence, we devote this final session in our series and we're hoping it's not the final, I think it was scheduled as final, but we're hoping to add a few more sessions, so I shouldn't have called it final, I'll call it the fourth session in our series to the topic of irreconcilable spaces and irreconcilable spaces within the context of virtual collaboration. In his essay, imaginary spaces of conciliation and reconciliation, art, curation and healing, David Garneau looks at Indigenous refusal and quote outlines how Indigenous resistance to the reconciliatory gaze can inform the development of sovereign display territories, unquote. The creation of such sovereign display territories are necessary to the formation of generative Indigenous, non- Indigenous collaborations, whether we are collaborating as an artistic team or whether we are collaborating in the moment of performance as storyteller and witness. Within the space of a gallery, for instance, sovereign display territory, at least for me, is easily imagined. I imagine that perhaps as a room or a nook or a curtain-off alcove to which only Indigenous patrons may gain access. Within the space of a book or journal, as Stolo scholar Dylan Robinson has demonstrated, non-Indigenous readers may be advised to stop reading at a certain point and invited to begin reading again at a later point in the essay. See his, if you're interested, we can send you, send you the title and bibliographic information for a prize-winning essay he wrote called Welcoming Sovereignty. And it's Dylan Robinson. I am a theater worker by trade. As both researcher and practitioner, and I am a very particular theater worker. I'm an urban Anishinaabe Kway whose praxis and passions lie in exploring the operationalization of nation-specific Indigenous knowledge systems, linguistic structures, and aesthetic principles within the crafting of contemporary Indigenous performative events. The works that I make, or in which I am involved, or that I have been privileged to explore, fly in the face of accepted conventions of theater-making as taught in North American conservatories or as practiced on the public stage. For instance, as a director, I may not hold auditions. Indeed, for the last planned production at which, oh, sorry. For instance, as indeed for the last show I produced, I simply sent out an invitation to an information session about a planned production at which I outlined the spirit and intent of the project, the process that would guide us, the commitment of time and energy that would be required, and the positions that need to be filled. Those who showed up, and there were a lot, were then asked to outline their reasons for wishing to participate in the project and to tell me how they wished to be involved. Each person, every single person there who attended that session was ultimately assigned to the role, or roles they had chosen, and all excelled in their positions, and all were paid. Many of the themes that preoccupy me and my colleagues and that occupy our work include questions around narrative authority, cultural fragmentation and restoration, loss and exile, the devastation of the natural world, futurity, and the cyclical unfolding of life. We seek also to structure our creative processes around the aesthetic principles and traditional knowledge systems belonging to our nations, and that constitute a bundle that has been left to us, and left for us to tend for coming generations. In fall 2019, Hart House Theater, before which I sit, virtually, which is located on the St. George campus of the University of Toronto, celebrated its centenary. For 100 years, Hart House Theater had contributed to the development of the storytellers and to the dissemination of the stories that have upheld the Canadian imaginary. Hart House Theater is Canadian theater before Canadian theater could be said to exist. It is the birthing ground of the actors and directors who then went on to build Stratford, Shaw, et cetera, et cetera. And the drama program in which I work now at University of Toronto. It has played a significant role in the shaping of the identity of this nation, of the nation at Canada. To mark this historical moment, even as it looks forward to a second century of seasons, Hart House Theater reached out to me first for suggestions and later for help in producing its first Indigenous show. As an intervention through which to, it's first. Just got to stress that. As an intervention through which to commit itself to the urgent project of restoring its role as a cultural cornerstone in the colonial edifice. That contains us all. Entering, excuse me. Entering this project, I was wrestling with a tangle of questions which boiled down to these. What dramaturgical methods my eyes safely employ. To safely navigate the frontier between witness and voyeur. How might I ensure that the Indigenous bodies on that stage were not performing as father for colonial consumption? How might I ensure that the burdensome work of relationship building was shared equitably between Indigenous and non-Indigenous company members and ultimately between storytellers and witnesses alike? To what extent would the specifically Indigenous methodologies and dramaturgical structures with which I had chosen to work serve the project of relationship building in this historical moment? The process of building this show and counters at the edge of the woods carried its participants into spaces in which they were compelled to see, to remember, and to respond to a tangled history of settlement, to long suppressed histories, buried waterways, silenced voices, and wounded earth. In the beginning I had envisioned us doing this work together, always together, but during the year as I prepared for rehearsals I began to wonder if this was not a naive impulse. I wanted the relationships that came out of this process to be truthful. I hope that each individual in the company including myself would be in some way transformed by the experience. And for these goals to be achieved absolute honesty was required. Indigenous participants and settlers alike needed to be able to speak hard truths, to engage in hard conversations, to wrestle together with our fears, our hopes, and our most cherished biases and assumptions. In the words of one of my settler actors during early discussions in irreconcilable space, I can't find a safe space, carve yourself a brave space. Bravery would be required if we were to break the dam together. But enforcing a premature togetherness I could either be courting dysfunction and microaggression or a politely false and distinctly Canadian encounter in which any possibility of authentic relations would be lost. And so I'm going to go back to the beginning. A courageous group of scholar artists which call themselves the collective encounter agreed to retreat into the irreconcilable space as I carved out in order to build something special together. Early discussions and table work were conducted in irreconcilable space. And so I'm going to go back to the beginning of the process. And it really was a division of indigenous to this territory, to Turtle Island and actually to Canada and settler. So these were the two spaces I carved out. Throughout the process I've come to realize or come to think about and want to think about indigenous to other territories in the world who have come here and settled in well here meaning in my case. Various peoples and nations who have been affected by the colonial project and to carve out all these spaces and bring them together. And I will confess in a crude manner and I've been learning through the process so this is a process in development. So early discussions and table work were conducted in irreconcilable space. We're in each group, indigenous and settler and each individual in that group were able to wrestle with their biases assumptions suppressed anger fear distrust in our group work. Each group was able to formulate questions hypothesize possible futures process individual and shared trauma and do the work each needed to do before encountering each other as collaborators. Land based work was also conducted in irreconcilable space. Each group embarked upon separate stages of the campus upon which heart house theater sits and I want to share some teachings I got from those as the land was storage for them. They responded in kind with stories, songs, spoken word, etc. As a sidebar I'd like to give you a teaching that I came out with. So I conducted these tours and I conduct these tours on the campus. Generally although I often feel rushed these tours run three hours they're walking tours. When I took the indigenous group out on the land and allowed them to set the pace we were out there for over five hours. They sat with the land reflecting on the stories responding in the moment and they listened intently. Our tour lasted three hours. The indigenous artists, the non-indigenous artists I should say have beautiful spirits, good intentions and they listened intently. They connected with those stories, facts and events about place but they don't yet have or I believe that at that time I did respond to my voice. We're indigenous artists listen to my voice yes but to the land itself. When they responded the indigenous artists were responding to the buried waters to the scarred land to the messages beyond human hearing. They sat with what they heard and they responded to that what they were hearing was not necessarily to me. Had both groups traveled together I surmised had I not broken them broken these tours and broken them I surmised that the indigenous artists would have felt and responded to the need of the non-indigenous artists to move on to get to the next place. I surmised the tour would have been shorter and I would have gone through this unconsciously and without rancour but something really deep and important would have been lost. Lee Marico the Stolo writer and teacher educator in Siam and her daughter offered workshops in story creation based on processes they grew up with in their Stolo culture. They had the same workshops but separately in separate space indigenous workshops non-indigenous workshops and eventually we all came together and did a lot of weaving of story. And through this we discovered but by separating the groups we discovered the heart of the play which lay in the indigenous call a call or a prompt or a response. What was happening that through this work the indigenous many of whom were not quote professional performers were storytellers in their own right were amazing artists but who had come to this process and may have sat back or may have given the floor to the quote actors in the group separating us that way our voices were their voices were able to come through their aesthetics were privileged and they became the fulcrum of the show from Lee I received an important teaching about irreconcilable space another important teaching unexpected when I was asked to do this work months before I had a long discussion with the heart house executive director of the building I was assured that the company members would be able to smudge anywhere at all at any time within that building this was important because we didn't have the theater space for many rehearsals our rehearsals moved frequently from space to space within that building and actually beyond that building so this was important to have this free reign I was treated with a book of smudging protocols by the administration when we could smudge where we could smudge what windows had to be open literally down to the east end of the room the west end of the room or not at all in some rooms I was perturbed and confused and angry Lee Merrickle however flipped the script she told us the heart house theater heart house itself was not a place we should smudge she drew an edge of the woods for us which we realized somatically she told us that this was a colonial space on indigenous land to be sure well she reminded us of this on indigenous land to be sure but still a colonial space she carved out an edge of the woods ceremony in Anishinaabe Healer to smudge the company outside the building and so afterwards to enter the workspace and after that evening that altered or adopted edge of the woods we then smudged within the building the company smudged in accordance of course with building protocols which I hope are changing after some discussions I've had the script was flipped again and I keep saying using this a flipped the script because this was a big objective that came out in indigenous discussions about what this show would be to flip the script so the script was flipped again when irreconcilable spaces were collapsed into a collective working space when we did come together and again I invite you to consider that the men most of the indigenous all of the well we had elders in the group who are also part of the U of T community but who might not have considered themselves actors we had indigenous actors in the group who weren't part of U of T we had a center for indigenous theater who had never been invited to do a show or participate in an acting program at U of T and who felt outside to these spaces maybe not even welcomed within these spaces and then we had many of the non-indigenous were U of T students and many of them were also acting students performing theater students within the acting programs so this was their kind of space home territory right so we flipped the script because upon this stage the indigenous stood and we carved another threshold and the non-indigenous working members came in and announced themselves they gave us their names they told us where they had come from to settle and be here they declared their intentions in being part of this project and they asked for admittance into this project not of me of their indigenous counterparts and those indigenous counterparts admitted them and then introduced themselves and this is the way we began working together indigenous protocols globally have required us to pause in liminal space never touching that space where water kisses land never venturing into the clearing beyond the dense forest never stepping off the tarmac until we have sent out the call announcing our presence and intentions and until we have received a response an invitation to step into the territory of another encounters at the edge of the woods constitutes an invitation to audiences as a show into a requisite protocol a processual mechanism through which Watcher may be transformed into witness, invasive species into distant relation and occupier into guest Watchers are ushered into a retreat with the company into irreconcilable space those spaces in which to repair what Stolo writer and scholar Lee Maracle terms are split mind and from which we might re-encounter each other and the biodisit sustain us with generative action powered by good intention good intentions of course are not enough action is required and this leads us to the questions that will frame our dialogue and inspire micro-activations of this collaborative thought experiment in which we invite all that is on settling dramaturgic collaborators whom you see on your screen and you the witnesses to participate it is interesting to me also that I am seeing these spaces spring up and work across Turtle Island they may not be names for these spaces of safety and justice may differ just as the way these spaces are used may differ but what stands out to me what I'm finding is that in a growing number of collaborative projects a dance of retreat and reintegration as a key driver in the process is becoming more necessary to the health of each project and in the last session we will certainly recall Grant Miller's fabulous introduction to threshold practice again a space at the edge and chambers into which we could retreat and in future sessions I for one look forward to group reflections and discussion around the practice we will look at today or we will be introduced to discussion and microactivations threshold practice and similar practices across Turtle Island and so here's what we're going to do and before we do it I will ask my timekeepers before I introduce what we're doing I'll ask my timekeepers where are we we're about 31 minutes so we're going to break again at 20 after the hour oh this is gorgeous gorgeous we have a fair amount of time good and I'll need you to like yell at me timekeepers not only people to slow down but still keep time I'm terrible with time thank you this is very good so we can just jump into our first prompting somebody wrote on a chat is that okay if I say this Lindsay your question sorry I believe it was invasive species to distant relation that is true I was trying to I hope my wording is the regulation is going very slowly now too but I guess I'm thinking I'm using the plant species metaphor but I'm speaking about people so often you know invader you know we speak of plant sometimes often the the rhetoric has been this is an invasive species but you know as we I've been taught many people I'm sure since I've been taught we're all related we're all connected so that even if seed flies over from across the globe or is carried somehow while in the moment it is perhaps an invasive looks like an invasive species or we call it that but it also may simply be a distant relationship whose time in these territories has come I don't know I don't presume to know but I trust my creator and I don't know I think it's amplified TRA had highlighted that as a really beautiful phrase which also resonated with me for sure but I just wanted to make sure we had the turn of phrase correct oh thank you thank you TRA and Lindsay it was just happened so happened that I see the chat if I may miss a chat question and if it is directed at me please maybe interrupt too to speak because sometimes I'm not looking at this screen yeah I'm happy to keep I'm happy to keep an eye on that thank you okay real quickly Jill that's alright as we're in this moment of pause and transition to the next portion we just want to verbalize and acknowledge that one of our dear collaborators stepped out for the rest of our call so in case you are wondering where he went he is taking care of himself as part of his access needs so with that I'll hand it back to you Jill as we now transition back thanks check right thank you so much so the good news is you all get a break from listening to me momentarily and even better news is I think we're going to have some juicy fun here so of course some of the things that I've been talking about are things that happened in real time and space you know people gathering and we are gathered here and then there are a group of there are people we're gathered here and then there are people of course gathered with us whom at least many I and probably Elvis can't necessarily see her here in the moment and who we do invite and collaboration and so here we are in our little boxes on the virtual space boxes on the screen and we're going to try to do some of this work which of course is long too I mean sanctions like this for me you know you know for all of us rehearsals sessions last six to eight hours you know so or often maybe with breaks et cetera you know and taking care of ourselves but we're trying to move this through fairly quickly in virtual space so this is also experimental experimenting with some of these concepts and trying to also bring in praxis in the virtual space because ultimately this whole series is about how do we do some of our work in the virtual realm so I am again extremely thankful for the opportunity to try to think my way through this stuff because I'm not a virtual chick but I'm going to have to get with the times or die with the dinosaurs I think I fear to try my hardest so here we go so what you will see very shortly is a slide and on this slide you will see it will be a slide rather than our smiley faces as we you're not right now or okay that's okay too but we haven't quite retired yet but yes we will have a slide momentarily and it will come back we are together right now but we will have an opportunity to try to retire into irreconcilable space to stop sharing the space that we're in our home space our studio space for very brief time to consider to set our minds a question the first prompt so I've laid it out thusly I've laid out the question that the group has come up with and then I've laid out a set to that question a task a possible way into the question that we can work on in our space in our safe space our chamber our irreconcilable space and it's very short time I'm suggesting you know five minutes in which to do this work so we're not writing a presentation or essay although we can write these can be bullet point thoughts these can be drawings these can be a comic or graphic these can be a song lyrics words a word cloud something that resonates that prompts with us that we're driven to offer and again I don't offer much thinking space as Lee does not in the beginning of these workshops to force us you know to push us to work and not to worry work and not worry to forgive ourselves we can always go back and add it later so here's the prompt in your own in my own artistic Germany with what you and I have had to reconcile I'm just going to say you now I'm including me in this but I'll say you you the individual you in your own artistic journey with what have you to quote reconcile yourself with irreconcilable event or circumstance or attitude have you encountered that cause some disruption to your work and I use that word very loosely to your work to your practice to your well-being what has been the cost that's the prompt your and this will be up on a slide so don't worry and that's all you'll see for five minutes your task then will be through the medium of your choosing and I've laid out possibilities I've missed the audio but that's another one a little voice memo tape through the medium of your choosing we invite you to a story in any way you wish an irreconcilable moment in your artistic life this also includes the invitation to a story an irreconcilable moment in your experience as a witness or audience member perhaps you're thinking about that and and I suggested again to give you a time to digest the prompt and the task maybe two minutes and then three minutes just to do some free writing free speaking free drawing and then we will come back and where it seems comfortable share the invitation of course is wherever you are comfortable there is an invitation to retreat and the people whom you see on this screen are invited to retreat from the group and work in irreconcilable space simply by switching off our video and of course many of us are muted already during the duration of our task we can of course see the sea so the only thing we will see on the screen is the task ahead of us rather than each other we will then queue a return I believe I'm not sure but Mia and others can tell me this I believe we've also planned a breakout room for our ASL users right no? okay well again if ASL users want to stay on this screen that's fine too I mean it's however it's whatever we have to work with however we have to work with or if those who like to work with a signer if those people are comfortable with retreating for a few minutes alone and then coming back with their signer sign partner to then translate that is also a good way to go but I want people to use this in any way possible sorry that's my computer speaking to me I told you I was bad with time I will not know I can keep the 5 minute timeframe if that works for you that's fabulous thank you and when we return then however from this task when we return from our task we are all invited to share and respond those who choose not to share at this moment can witness and perhaps respond if called themselves if someone else is sharing we will go from there we will just improvise from there so right now it's a sharing if this were happening and we were weaving this into a show what would happen is there would come these prompts which come in the way of stories for instance it might come in the way the prompt might be a story that I would have told and then we would have retreated to respond and then we would have come back together share those responses and then what we would have done is broken into groups and woven there is a method gone through a particular process and then come back and each group would share the weaving and then a greater weaving would occur but I'm not sure I didn't think we would have time for all of that right now so we are working in this preliminary way and also working with the questions so I will invite my time keepers to start the clock one invitation before the slide comes up because this is a prompt and a provocation that's going to be accessible to everyone tuning in live as well as those of us who are being tasked in this immediate moment to create something here on this zoom chat I want to invite anybody who is tuning in live who does create something in response to this prompt who may want to share it as part of the living archive that we will be creating coming out of these practice sessions to feel free to email that whatever format it is if it's an audio file, if it's a video file if it's a text file whatever to email that to unsettlingdramaturgy.com and we won't necessarily be able to address it today but it's such an incredible opportunity for us to know who is creating alongside of us outside of this square of relations here who is tuning in live and to know that we really do long for to visualize and to actualize in an archival sense the work that other people are doing alongside of us in these sessions so if you feel so called as to share whatever you create today as a result of these prompts that Jill is giving us please do send it to unsettlingdramaturgy.com maybe we'll jump right to the prompt we'll have five minutes with it we'll come back for ten minutes and then go on a break this is Grant I just want to read the prompt aloud for anybody who is participating but doesn't have access to the slide I just want to make sure it's read one more time is that alright please do yes prompt one in your own artistic journey with what is your work or what irreconcilable event circumstance attitude have you encountered that disrupted your work what has been the cost task through the medium of your choosing we invite you to story an irreconcilable moment in your artistic life this also includes an invitation to story an irreconcilable moment as well as an audience member suggested time five minutes and when five minutes has totally elapsed we will all return to the group together and then for those of you who are witnessing this session currently inhabit sovereign spaces of creation and display we invite you to participate in this exercise and to share your story reflections as you are comfortable in the chat and share your stories as you are comfortable with the work and what is crucial to this work alright and I just want to flag it's been five minutes so to honor the time outlined by Jill I would call folks back in whatever gentle way is possible right now how are we doing this is Lindsay very tender very hot. This is Grant. I feel my heart beating really quickly. I feel like I just arrived to the precipice. This is Jessica. I feel like I have a I can't tell if it's hot or cold like a core rod in my chest. Check. Okay. Does anyone want to expand, share further, offer a piece of writing or a story? This is Lindsay. I can jump in with a small piece of writing. The line drawn who's worth unworthy, what weapons wielded to cut me away from you, a certain wound both hidden, unsought and ever tender. The cost has been most of my whole world, the work of discovering another world underneath. Wow. Thank you for sharing that. Is there is there any context you feel safe in offering here? We're not. No. Okay. No, although I mean, if we didn't have an audience, I would. And I wonder about how what I composed would have shifted in different contexts, depending on who was receiving it. Okay. Check. This is Tara. I'll share. So this was from yesterday. And I don't mind sharing that publicly. So for those of you who I spoke to yesterday who are tuning in, you can figure out about talking about you. Just kidding. Not anyway. So the little bit of writing that I'll share is settler violence, settler suppression, settler hand holding, settler niceties at the expense of whom? Yeah, the hat, hat take. Check. Good. Do you feel any safety here? And maybe not, maybe if not speaking about the particular event of particular event, speaking, offering us a little more context about what settler hand holding looks like, what suppression has looked like, et cetera. For you, I could certainly share. But it's not my time on the floor. Yeah, absolutely. So speaking generally, because yesterday was no new thing is whenever there is conflict that needs to be addressed, that is rooted in white supremacy or white fragility, those things of that, et cetera. And we need to have conversations of it. In my experience, it's been very difficult to address the issue straightforward without it being weaponized in a settler way back at. And so not just yesterday, but previous experiences, seeing not just the indigenous folks in the room, but also all of the IPOC people, how exhausted we've collectively felt after these quote unquote honest discussions, because it is impossible to be honest in a space that is still not consiled. So we can't even get to re-reconciled. So yeah, so that's what I think of the settler suppression, because we're suppressing our own honesty and ability to be fully present. Whenever I think of settler niceties, it's because it's to soften the quote unquote below, which I sort of like to use this is very aggressive imagery. And save face. So we like to say in the US South Rhine from to take care of the emotional needs of those who are active in said violence. Yes. And then having in the with handholding, being very much as we have these discussions, since there's such a knowledge gap and barrier, it takes a lot of educational work on behalf of those who are having to do said education and work. That again, it then becomes impossible to be there fully and honestly and express what needs to be said. For my humble opinion as one person. Check. Share something. Oh, do we want to move on? Just a few words before the rupture outward before the weight of past present need request way like sticky gossamer weeping its way around my teeth, spaying and twisting an undesired mirror the bones of the structure that hold us in the containment, the tight lips, the face in neutral, the veritable death of self they're in demanded before this welcome useful and then ellipses. Beautiful. Just real quick. This is Jessica. I drew this is a series of like circles winding in opposite directions with arrows that are going in different directions. And some of the circles are inside the other circles. And then some of them are outside the circle. Jack. Interesting to embody that image and to work with. What is it to embody that image? We could do that. Next session. Yeah. Anybody, I think, you know, I don't want to call on names, but is there anybody else I believe? I think my timekeepers will want me to go on a break, want us to take a break in two minutes, one, two minutes. So yeah, who ever goes now, I wouldn't mind going before the break, taking the break and then coming back and moving into the next section and we will be building on this stuff. So please don't throw away your words or anything. And I typed your things into the chat. And I'll just keep sort of typing these first impressions and we'll see when we put everything together. What comes out? We're dramaturging. Sorry. So I can go real quickly if you don't mind. I was really not feeling like I could manage to draw or write anything to parents. So I chose a photo. And I don't know if you'll be able to see this. But basically, there are a set of stairs leading to a fence around a home. And because there are stairs, I cannot even get close to the home. And sometimes that's how I feel in like ableist rehearsals, where I, my identity has to be left a distance, because I just don't fit into that world. So that's my contribution. Oh, see, McQuach, thank you. Thank you. What a resonant photo. This is Grant. I sort of feel like just responding to this by moving. And I also want to just because of time, and I feel like I'll be more space later. But I just I feel like there's like this pressing and holding into my hands. And then this sort of busy feeling. And then I feel sort of space between my hands as they kind of move apart from one another. And then my fingers sort of wiggle as though what they were holding has some space to Oh, like Jessica's image have water pass through. And yeah, I think that's all I'm going to say for now. I just I well, this there were a lot of moments of just reflecting so much on past experience that there was an aspect of really remembering those times in a way that occupied a lot of my storing time. And so I just really felt those moments in a way that was somewhat like difficult to to craft linguistically. So yeah, thank you. So I guess break time now. Okay, I'll take it. I was seeing if Lindsay wanted to jump in. All right. So it is 23 after your hour, we will return at 33 after 34 my dad after we'll come back at 34 after. So 834 p.m. 734 p.m. 534. No, that's not right. Is it right? 534 p.m. Thank you, my Pacific coast friends. And then we will continue. So 34 after. Thank you. Unsettling dramaturgy is on a 10 minute break. We will return at about 834 p.m. Eastern 534 p.m. Pacific. Take a break, get some water, move around, do what you need to do. Criptime y'all have a question, comment or reflection or a contribution to what was shared previously. Email unsettling dramaturgy at gmail.com. Comment on Facebook at facebook.com slash unsettling dash dramaturgy dash Crip dash indigenous dash dramaturgy dash. And then this is a sequence of numbers. One, zero, three, six, six, five, six, one, one, two, seven, nine, six, seven, four. We have two minutes, everyone, two minutes and to go back from our break. We are back everyone from our break, but we'll wait for everyone to get settled, our ASL interpretation to get back up and they'll be ready to pop on in. Thank you. Check. Great. Thank you. All right, Jill, ready to take it back away. Okay, before we move into the second prompt and exercise, I want to say a couple of things. The first thing is well, this next prompt will also take place in irreconcilable space. It will be a different prompt and a different task building upon what you've already done. That was the first thing. But then we will also be having prompts where it's just group discussion after that. So we're kind of mixing it up a little bit between dialogue and this type of work. And perhaps this is also the work that is also helping us to prompt more dialogue. I just wanted to say, though, listening to all of you, like hearing you and thinking about my own reactions when I settled myself into irreconcilable space to think about these things. It really hit me. I mean, you know, when you're alone and I was alone for my five minutes, this was my experience. But then when I heard you, Tara, particularly you talking grant talking, and of course, and Andrea, and, and then Mia's, Mia's sort of response, you know, as more than an explanation. But the, you know, the pain is, you know, the difficulty of this work is apparent. To get honest, to get real, to dive down in the mucky stuff. You know, sometimes we draw a little blood with that. And that's a hard, you know, I mean, I feel like, you know, right now as the quote, facilitator, or as an educator, I sometimes feel quite, you know, guilt or director, you know, that's hard. Oh, I'm, you know, asking people to go. But in these spaces, then, where it can be, you know, I think this is one reason for me that the irreconcilable space is so necessary. That you don't have to see the shame written on my face as a memory hits me. I mean, if I want to share that later, if that's something that will come into my work, that I process and then I'm ready to bring into a public place, I will. Or you don't have to. Yeah, we can go into these spaces and we can say, you know what, I just reject this for now. It's not safe for me to go here. So I'm not going to go here. And I'm going to come back and say, I didn't go there today. Maybe tomorrow. Right? Which is really interesting. And other, you know, when we look at other forums, whether we're in rehearsal, I mean, in so many places, I've been in, I've been pushed into those spaces. I didn't want to go. Because if you're a professional, and RTS, you will go there. Not when you're ready, but when I'm ready, right? So this is, I think, you know, this is a, it's a hard way. No, no two ways about it. But it's a gentler way and perhaps a safer way. And of course, it's a raw way right now looking for about even better ways. I think when I as I and this just sort of really came to me. And as we were working through this, and I'm going to be very quick with these comments before moving on. But as we as you were speaking, and I was listening, I was also in the back of my mind, there was the earth diverse story running through my mind. So this is a, well, it's a part of the Haudenosaunee creation story about a woman who falls from a world not like I'm not unlike the world we live in today. I mean, earth and cheese. I mean, not unlike that, dry land plus water. But she falls to this earth. And when she falls to this earth, a land based creature as she is, she falls to a water world. And she and a turtle, you know, the turtle gives us back. And then there there is an earth diverse story. There are all these animals who must dive to find some soil to populate that shell that turtle shell with soil, so that growth, so that plants and land land based creatures can also survive in so that she can survive. Right. It's a story that teaches us to be good hosts, I think, and the story that teaches us to be good guests. But there's also an Anishinaabe women think when I that's when I think of the Anishinaabe re creation story, which is the same sort of earth diverse story. And it's a story that takes place during the great flood, the world being flooded. And it's all none of those fault. He's pissed off some powerful entities. He she has pissed off some powerful entities. And, and, and so to destroy this, this disruptor, they send the waters, and the waters come and come and come. And there is a flood on all the earth. And that that old nanobusho grabs a log, gets gets a top of log and a few other little creatures, the dragled little creatures are clinging to the log with, you know, right alongside. And, and then, you know, the rain stop. And there they are floating in another water world. silly old nanobusho. And so what Nanobusho does being Nanobusho, he doesn't do it himself. They don't do it themselves. He sends the animals down one by one. Down they go. Listen, Tails, think of this, down into the cold, down into the dark, down into the unknown, to try to grab something, the stuff of creation. You don't know if you'll get there. You can't breathe. Many of these animals died. And it was the smallest one, the littlest one, the one they said would never do it. It came up. And in some versions of this story, that little muskrat comes up lifeless. But in that little paw is a bit of that soil. And the magic can begin creation can begin again. In other versions of the story, and that I heard when I was a child, muskrat was resuscitated. So there is a happy end there for muskrat. And either way, there is sacrifice. There is pain. There is the unknown. And you have, we have been diving down, we go into these spaces alone, to dive down for that stuff, the stuff of creation, the real stuff, the life stuff. That's what I think. That's what I was thinking anyway. That's how you inspired me here. So our next dive into irreconcilable space into a chamber. The question isn't, of course, Grant will put it up for us. But the question, the prompt is, how do we actively make room for these spaces? We sort of started to see for ourselves some need for spaces to think about these things, to talk about these things, you know, the things with which we've had to reconcile the things that we say, no, this is utterly irreconcilable, and it must change, etc, etc, identifying those things. So now, whether we're thinking of virtual collaborations, creations as we're virtually collaborating here, or as we're thinking of collaborations when we meet in person, face to face, how do we actively make room for irreconcilable spaces to form within our projects, these self determined spaces, we determine them, which honor the distinctions or our group, our group, that we enter that space with determines and right now, it's we individually determining those spaces, which honor the distinctions between and complexities of our identities, which allow us to honor those things, and which allow us to work apart and together with others whose identities and embodiments and histories are closer to our own. So how can we create these spaces to do this work that you have already set the tasks and the prompts for some work we can do? How do we create the spaces in which we can all get together and do that work? So the question is it's been worded for us here will be set up. Again, we invite you to imagine to go into your space and then imagine the formation of this space to imagine perhaps an activity that takes place within it. So I'm so within the activity that I propose, which is very much like, which is the activity we propose for the first prompt, I'm asking you to maybe imagine another activity. How do you devise this space? How do you devise protocols for entrance and admittance, etc. etc. You may devise this space with reference or not, with reference to the irreconcilable moment you have already storied, or to a story you have heard here as a response to something you have heard here that is resonating with you now. Time allotted. Did five work? Or would you rather have six? Did five seem to work for all of you? Nods, thumbs? Grant, oh, Grant's not with. Oh, I can't see Grant's green. Grant, can you in? Sorry, Grant. I'm back. Sorry. Yeah, my my computer froze. No, that's fine. I just want to make sure five is okay, because I think we can afford six. If you want six, it's up to you. Does it work with the faster time for you? Five, five is good. Five is good. Okay, so I will ask Grant when Grant is ready to put up our screen and our prompt and our task. Thank you. And I'm just going to do a description of what's on the slide for anybody at home. Oh, do we need to turn off our videos so that this can be seen? I'm not sure I'm going to turn off mine. Prompt two, how do we actively make room for irreconcilable spaces to form within our projects and self determined spaces, which honor the distinctions between and complexities of our identities, and which allow us to speak with others whose identities embodiments and histories are closer to our own, rather than force collaboration across communities. Task, we invite we invite you again through the medium of your choosing to imagine one such space and one activity that takes place in it. You may devise the space with reference to the irreconcilable moment you have already storied, or to a story you have heard here that is resonating with you. Suggest a time five minutes when our five minutes has elapsed, we will indicate our return to the group by switching on our video and returning to discussion to share. Those of you who are witnessing the session currently inhabit, inhabit sovereign spaces of creation and display. We invite you to participate in this exercise and to share your storied reflections as you are comfortable in the chat or via email. Your voices are crucial to this work. Two minutes left, everyone, about two minutes. We have reached the end of our five minute time. Okay, good. Are we back? Are we met? I'm wondering if you can just have a quick connection about making sure we have time for TRA to share on their work, and also just for a quick closing. So that might mean this this part of the process taking a relatively short period of time if folks are okay with that. Yes, I think so. Why don't we do our sharing? My suggestion is we do our sharing here for this section. And then if we have some time to discuss our third prompt, it won't be in a reconcilable space. It'll be a good discussion. We'll take that time and cut the conversation when it's time to move to TRA and closing. But if not, then maybe we can move immediately after the sharing. It depends how long this will take, I think. So I will I'm going to leave it to you. Y'all are the bosses, you Lindsey, Tara and Mia. You're going to tell them you're going to say, oh, crap. And and this is how we'll do it because I really am mathematically not inclined. I look at a clock. It means almost nothing to me. Or I look at digital numbers. They mean nothing. It's a terrible I have a terrible reputation for this. It's okay, Jill, we have a plan in the comments. We're ready. Okay, good, good, good. Okay, 505 and then move. Okay, so that would be 905 and then move on. Okay, so that, according to my clock is nine, nine minutes, maybe. Okay, so all right. First impressions, maybe before sharing a word or a phrase to talk about where you are to share where where you are what you felt or what you feel now. This is grand. I think at first, I, I, it took me some time to really like saturate the question to then start to put things down. Like I, I noticed myself really spending a lot of time kind of questioning different components of it. And as I was doing that, I was thinking, I'm sure I would be, I would, I, I would really enjoy thinking about these questions while laying in a tub, like a pool with other people, maybe with all of us in a way that is not like COVID times. And that there would be a space where I could tend to other people. And other people could tend to me while we also just enjoy allowing each other to be comfortable in the warm tub. And it really, it really relates more to like the feeling state that I the space of feeling like I can be with other people who are like me who who there are ways to there are ways to connect with but also be tending to one another in an intentional way. Especially, yeah, especially to have spaces to be talking about things that feel irreconcilable in ways that don't feel possible in spaces. Where I guess, in this case, I was specifically thinking of other disabled artists or other disabled people. So yeah, I think that's my contribution for this time. Thank you. Oh, one more thing. I was drawing while I was did the both I was writing while I was doing both of these. And I almost just dropped my computer. I'm gonna, it's on a very precarious cushion. I can't actually let go of my computer and get my notes. So I'm going to go on mute and share later. If there's time. Thank you. Thank you, Grant. Who's up? Eric, who's up for sharing? This is Lindsay. Mine's super brief. A space to sit in witness of grief. Check. This is Tara. Mine's also super brief. I'm thinking of a space where we can have the like where we can be a peer rather than the choice is be an educator or be constantly hit with violence. This is Andrea. Maybe this is because I'm hungry. But I was thinking of breaking bread. And how food always seems to bring people together or at least help them find something to talk about and connect. So that's kind of where I was coming from. Starting with the food. This is Jessica. I'm drew is it's like I'm modified Venn diagram, but there's a side with only one dot that's partially in shadow. And then another side that has a lot of dots. And there's the meeting of the dots in between. And I was thinking of like the presupposition of like to not be alone in order to have irreconcilable space to work with others like us. Requires others like us working on the projects with us. Check. Thank you. Sorry, I'm not verbally reacting right now. Because I'm taping your great thoughts that Mia is going to convert to something a document. Anybody else wish to share? Okay. Sorry, I've lost my words now. I love I mean, these are like just there's something so glorious and beautiful. Warm and rich and appealing to all of my senses. I too would like to lay in a tab or a pool. And it's interesting that while we need to retreat, treat to the spaces of safety. We need both. It's all it's it's the dance, right? And I think maybe let me see. I don't know if I actually have a question here. I don't. But I think I wouldn't mind just spending the last couple minutes, four minutes we have together to expand upon this idea of of the dance. I mean, originally, I think some of the notes I wrote to to Mia were mentioned something and something about mentioned something. But well, how do we know? And I mean, you know, these are things that I'm still wrestling with. I mean, sometimes I think I've got it, you know, in a moment I got that in that moment. Sometimes I think, well, maybe not. Or, you know, how do we know when when we're ready to come into those spaces together? And it could be. I mean, right now we're kind of, you know, again, this is such a sort of a I don't have the words for them. Sorry. But you know, almost like a false construct I'm creating like, but it's also maybe part of the new reality for a while with COVID, right? You know, this, we go away alone, we'll come back and we're together. Ultimately, we had been thinking about, you know, maybe for future and, and, you know, me brought this up. She would have, you know, Mia, you had said, sorry, I'm speaking for you, Mia. Is that all right about the breakout rooms? Yeah, so me and this idea, and I think it's great. It's another way of doing this work. But it would be a later stage where, you know, we start, I think in our alone in the isolation, dive deep for yourself, then we can start to choose those breakout rooms where three of us or six of us are retiring to, you know, a space together to work through something and weave what we've done together, and then come back with the group and share those weavings, etc. But how do we know when? Or what thoughts do we have about that? You know, what thought and what comes up for you when we think about that dance? When are we ready to come out and meet the other side? And what what is needed is something what for you? Do you feel is needed? I mean, I certainly, you know, have shared a few, a few, not all, but a few of some of the protocols and things that we were doing and also some discoveries that I was making, even in terms of encountering a building, encountering an institution. And having Lee really, I mean, I am still kind of, you know, why get excited right about things, but still so flipped out about that teaching. You know, I thought, you know, why didn't I see it? You know, but what a way also to frame it because it was so all we're mad, we're sad, you know, sad and mad. Because you, you know, you, we felt lied to. Like here I still did, it's yours, smudge wherever whenever, you know, we were brought in the medicines. And all of a sudden we have a booklet, like it's, you know, I was going to say as thick as your arm, which is such a lie. And, you know, maybe as thick as a finger, you know, but quite a sheep. I mean, I couldn't keep track of it. Luckily, I had two wonderful states managers, you know, I had to say every day, okay, could you remind us what are the smudging protocols for the room we're in today? Oh, the east side of the room, the west side of the room, how many windows have to be open? For how long? Oh, no, we can't smudge in here. Okay. What do we do now? Okay. Shall we go outside to smudge? How do people feel about, and you know, I mean, because it was this, you know, of course, this anger that, you know, what the heck, you're on our land, buddy. You know, of course, and the way Lee flipped that, and not in a way, not in a way reconciles yourself to this new colonized reality, but in a way she flipped it and said, well, wait a minute, you know, they're even going to have to earn their right for us to, you know, something has to happen to cleanse this space itself, you know, before we go in and start doing this work. Very, I've taken up all of our five minutes. I'm so sorry. I really do apologize. Thank you for taking up that time. It was, yeah, thank you. At least I, this Lindsay, I want to say thank you. I'm very happy about that. So check. So this is Tara. We're going to move to Tiare sharing as you finish up what you're doing. I see what they're doing. But we'll also offer Jill if it makes you feel better about time. For us, Seminals and Muscogies, time is a relative. So we take care of time like we do our elders and our aunties. And that time needed to be taken care of in that way. So thank you for me. So with that, I'm going to hand it off to Tiare, who has been working so diligently and beautifully during this conversation. I'm going to turn off my camera. Yes, we're all going to, other than so we can just have our ASL interpreter and Tiare. So whenever you are ready. Can you hear me? I can hear you. I can hear you too. I don't think there's any more echo. Oh, yes, yes. You'll need to mute your computer in the room. It is music. Turn down the volume on your computer as well. Yeah, that's way better. So sorry about that, everyone. So I'm on Zoom on two screens here so that I can do a zoom in of what I'm going to be describing. So if you want to, you can pin this more close up version as it will help you to follow along a little bit better. I had to move back to my room because it got incredibly windy outside and my board was going to blow away. So here we go. I'm just going to talk a little bit about some of the choices I was making around why I drew what I drew because, yeah, I can provide image to you and I don't want to drone on describing everything sequentially so much. But here's the large poster. It says irreconcilable spaces in large block letters across the top. And below there's an acknowledgement of irreconcilable spaces of aboriginality being referenced by, referenced by David Garno. Once again, dedicating that first section of the poster to connecting and introductions. And I chose to highlight two moments of questions that make sort of the introduction more having more depth and about connection. So the question, what is my relationship to the indigenous lands I'm on? And then I also, and that is included with a drawing of a little silhouetted figure in a wheelchair. And then below that is the question, how am I, how is my body? Accompanied by the question, how can we reshape spaces to allow our bodies to be present? And then there's a figure of a human shaded in. And then there's like a half circle cradling that person to sort of depict that person's body being held and comforted with some other circles, sort of supporting them. Then I want to go into an image of mountains and a cityscape and some green hills with the description here on Turtle Island, which likes to call itself Canada. Occupiers of Turtle Island did not come to indigenous peoples with goodwill. Therefore, there is not a good relationship to return to, but a need for truth and possible conciliation. Now here I've drawn a sort of ghostly looking figure with like arms reaching over in this kind of like grabbing way. And then from there, there's like a red ripple or a dark sort of moon ripple coming out of their hands. I also drew some little green, almost virus pox there. And as I was drawing that image, I was thinking about an article I'd seen related to some of the first fur trading situations in what is called the United States, but similar stories of colonization and how there's very blatant documentation of blankets in toxic like carrying smallpox being distributed to indigenous communities that were not affected yet by the disease. And so that was some of the thought behind that imagery there as I was drawing. And in this section here, I have some figures that I haven't yet shaded in with any color, but I intend to and I put them on the land. I put them with trees and mountains behind them with the words retreat and reintegration. And there's two streams of black ribbon that are meant to be water and rivers and sort of they kind of look like they're coming together and joining each other. And this was when Jill was telling the story of how when indigenous participants were retreat, one indigenous participants retreat, we respond to the messages of the land. So I've encircled the messages of the land in a bold green and teal swirl. All of those lines and circles are bringing elements together and energizing and trying to sort of like capture that energy of reconnection. Then in a rectangular box, it says the question, if our first step was on the land together, together being settlers and indigenous people, what are indigenous artists have responded to the drives of the settlers to move on? And the question, where do we start indigenous space, circle surrounded by its own green circle, and then settlers learning to acknowledge the ways they came to be on this land. Then over here, I've drawn that little muskrat from Jill's story diving diving deep, helping us along the journey of moving from watcher to witness or helping settlers, I should say, move from watcher to witness, from invasive to distant relation and from occupier to guest. So the muskrats taking us on that journey of connection that will allow deep dives into honest creativity. And so these prompts are meant to help people connect to self determined space to allow that journey to happen. So I've got the two prompts, how have you experienced irreconcilable space in a bold raspberry color? And how do we create self determined space also? And then the image that's taking shape, that's lightly drawn out in pencil that might be difficult to see, our two faces and the faces are overlapping each other like a Venn diagram. And then I wanted to braid their hair together to show sort of like a kindred spiritness or people whose identities, who share identities, embodiments and histories closer to closer to our own, having that space. And it's kind of cool because the image also creates the shape of a heart. And they're sort of holding each other. And that image will be what supports some of the examples people gave of those self determined spaces. And then in this open corner here is going to be some of the questions Jill offered around like, where do you find the balance in the dance of having those, having those spaces and connecting and collaborating beyond. So we'll be left with that question and that metaphor of a dance. Thank you. Thank you so much, Thierry. I might, we're at 716. So I want to be conscious of when our live stream is no longer available to us. And perhaps suggest, and maybe I can just get like an acknowledgement from a couple of folks, whether or not following Jill's lead, we do our closing in our own irreconcilable spaces. So off video, kind of taking lesson from the work we've done today and just giving ourselves the time and space we need to close out without feeling rushed to kind of like learn from Tara as well. Are our folks good with that? And I invite the audience to do the same work in your own irreconcilable spaces. And yeah, I'm just really grateful for for all of you and the learnings. Mia, if you have anything to say to close out. Thank you. Check just so much gratitude to our narrators today, Lindsay, Jessica, Tara for holding the space for us and Jill for your incredible work and sharing with us with such generosity. And we will post a couple of the articles that were referenced by Jill on the Facebook event. So if you're tuning in and you wanted to have some of those resources to dive into on your own, they will be there. And be sure to follow us on Facebook unsettling dramaturgy. And while initially we thought this would be a four session series, there is a likelihood that we will be creating a couple of more events in response to the work that we've already done. So look out for upcoming events from us. And thank you. Thank you. Bye bye. Great.