 The Kraft Foods Company presents the Great Gildersleeve. The Great Gildersleeve starring Harold Perry brought to you by the Kraft Foods Company, makers of a complete line of famous quality food products. I'm just going to be a bad boy. That's my only resolution. I'm going to be a bad boy. What a terrible way to start the new year. But before we condemn our hero, let us review the tragic events which have put him in this desperate frame of mind. It all started with Gildersleeve's plans for Summerfield's annual costume ball. When he got his costume, he naturally wanted to tell somebody about it. He won't actually tell her. That would be against the rules. I'll just let her guess. She'll never guess in a million years. The vast there, me proud beauty. Open the hatch before I blow it in. Fifteen men on a dead man's chest, you're whole, you're whole in a bottle of haleau-y. Why, Throckmorton? He's got my costume for tomorrow night-y, right here under my arm. Oh, no, you mustn't tell me what it is, Throckmorton. That would spoil all the fun. No one's supposed to know who anyone is till the time comes for the unmasking. Well, I wasn't going to tell you, but wouldn't you like to guess? Well, come in anyway. Thanks. I'll take my coat off. I've got to be getting right along home. Well, go ahead and guess, Eve. Well, I don't think that would be fair, Throckmorton. You might start hinting. Oh, go on. Guess what I'm going to be? Humpty Dumpty. Why do you guess that? I don't know. He's kind of rolly-poly, and you asked me to guess. Yes, again. Henry VIII? Well, I get mixed up on those kings. Which one is he? The fat one. The one with all the wives. You know, he... Why do you guess only fat people? I guessed only two, and you insisted on my guessing, you know. All right. I'll give you a little help. Pity, man. Oh, no, you don't. Now, be fair, Throckmorton. I want it to be a surprise. But Eve, the whole thing's a lot of nonsense. As soon as I call for you tomorrow evening, that'll give the whole thing away. By the way, what time do you want me to call for you? You were planning to call for me? Oh, of course. Oh, I wish I'd known that before. Of course I'm going to call for you if I'm taking you to the ball. I didn't know you were taking me to the ball. Or I'm afraid it's too late now. Uh-huh. What? You never asked me, Throckmorton. You never did. Well, gosh, you... I waited, and you never asked me. Gosh, I took it for granted that you and me... I mean, you and I... And I took it for granted since I never heard from you that you'd invited someone else. So I accepted another invitation. Listen, you sold me the tickets to this thing. I had a right to assume you were going with me. Well, I sold over 50 tickets, Throckmorton. I couldn't go with all of them. Nuts. Gosh, if I'd had the slightest idea, I mean, I've got my costume here and everything. You couldn't just... Not now. I couldn't possibly. I'm sorry. But when you're inviting a lady to something, it's customary to invite anyone. I suppose you're going with that gym teacher again. He was kind enough to invite me, and he's very nice, really. I'm sorry there was a misunderstanding, Throckmorton. I'll save your dance if you like. Don't bother. Oh, no. Throckmorton, don't be a baby. Who's a baby? I was going to be a pirate. But now I won't be anything. I won't even be there. Hello, Miss Fenwick? How'd you guess? I bet you're surprised to hear from me. Say, do you happen to be doing anything this evening? Oh, you are, uh... Well, I just thought... Oh... Well, I just, uh... Well... Same deal, Miss Fenwick. What's the matter with this town? New Year's Eve and everybody's going someplace. Oh, well... Would you tell me what you're doing running around in my long underwear? In that bathhouse? That's my cake. Look here, young man. You want to see one of my mighty feats of strength? I can make this whole house disintegrate. All I have to do is say, Shazam! Leera? Oh, I said it. Lucky thing the house didn't hear me. Calm down, will you? What are you getting dressed up for anyway? You're not going any place? I know, but everybody else is. Gosh, I want to have some fun. I'll be here with you, my boy, the whole evening. That's not fun. Ball, I'm doing nothing of the kind. But I thought... I decided the whole thing was silly. Childish. I didn't want to go in the first place. Marjorie's going. Oh, no, she's not. He is, too. She's going with Jerry Walsh. Now look here. I had this whole thing out two days ago. Don't holler at me. I'm not the one. Go upstairs and tell your sister to come down here. Hey, boy! Come down here! I said go up and tell her. Get a beating, son, here. Marjorie, what's this I hear? About what? About your planning to go to the ball this evening? With that Walsh boy? Lee Roy? I didn't say anything. I mean, I didn't mean to make any trouble, Marjorie. I just said what you said. Never mind that. The point is, I told you two days ago, my dear, you were not going to that ball. But, Anki, it's the first thing Jerry's ever invited me to. He's one of the stars of the basketball team. If I turn him down to the last minute... You could have turned him down two days ago. I told you then. You said you'd think it over. You said you'd see. I said no. Besides, I've thought it over. The ball is no place for a girl your age. It's apt to turn out to be a very rowdy affair. That's why I'm not going myself. I think you're mean. Moreover, I don't want you going around with that Jerry Walsh. From what I hear, he's inclined to be wild. All basketball players are wild. One of the wildest boys I ever knew was a basketball player. Why don't you let her go? Listen, who's running this house? You or me? I didn't know anybody was running it. You go upstairs. To bed now? Well, go away anyway. This is just between your sister and me. Sorry, Leroy. Go on, Leroy. Disintegrate. Shazam. We heard it. I'll get it. Here. Not now, Leroy. Later, Leroy. We'll see, Leroy. I'll set up the checkerboard just in case. Will everybody kindly for heaven's sake be quiet? Francie? I can't go. My uncle. Good, Francie. I know, and what do I tell Jerry? The first thing he's ever invited me to? I mean, I'll be so humiliated I'll just die. Good. My costume? I don't know. Burn it, I guess. What good is it now? Costume. Didn't know it'd go as far as that. Well, I can't give in now. Now, that is not true, Francie. My uncle is really very nice if you know him. It's just about this one thing. He seems to be a little old-fashioned. You needn't look at me, my dear. You have my decision. I don't know. He's being so stuffy about everything these days, but I'll ask him. Uncle Mort, if I can't go to the ball, can I at least go over to Francie's and spend the night? Oh, so Francie's mother wouldn't let her go to the thing, either, eh? I told you it was no place for young girls. Well, may I? I see no objections as long as you're in bed by a reasonable hour. Miracles will happen, Francie. He said yes. I'll be right over. What? Excuse me. Well, Bertie, you're all dressed up. Yes, sir. You look super, Bertie. I wouldn't know you. Well, thank you, Leroy. You're looking well yourself. You mean my football helmet? I don't think he's had that off since Christmas. Yeah. Take it off, Leroy. You want to be bald? Okay. Goodbye, Francie. Be right over. Mr. Girls, please, I'd like to take this opportunity to wish you a happy and prosperous New Year's and get all right if I go now. Yeah. Same to you, Bertie, and you go right ahead. By the way, where are you going? Well, it's starting over to Jack Chase's house. Goodness knows where to wind up. Well, I suppose that's your idea of a way to have a good time. My idea of a way to spend New Year's Eve is just sitting quietly here by the radio laying plans for next year. Well, a man can't break any bones that way. Enjoy yourself, Miss Kilsley. You too, Bertie. Happy New Year. Hey, aren't you going to play checkers? I've got the board all set up. Oh, I suppose so. Just when I'm sitting down. I'll let you have the first move. Well, well... I expected that. I suppose she's leaving by now. With that gym teacher. You're a move on. Well, he'll all be there. Eve, Floyd. Booker. Fallen. Everybody but me. I haven't got my mind on the game, but you go to bed anyway. Do I have to? Yes, it's a quarter of eleven. Okay, gosh. Good night, Uncle. Good night, my boy. Happy New Year. Happy New Year. What's happy about it? Marjorie out, Bertie out, Leroy in bed? Well, I suppose I could listen to the radio. I've missed date with Judy though and River McGee. Actually, it's midnight there already. That means it's eleven here. Clock slow. Yeah, Leela could be there. Charlotte just like Leela. She couldn't have been though. The beads that I spent with Leela. Leela, where is she now? Married with somebody else. And Eve stood me up for a gym teacher. That's what you get for being a gentleman. After all the nice things you do for them all year, and the chips are really down, and it's New Year's Eve, what do you get? Left at home twiddling your thumbs while they're off cutting up with somebody else. Oh, shut up. Yeah, happy New Year. I'm making no resolutions this year. I'm just going to be a bad boy. That's my only resolution. I'm going to be a bad boy. And by George, I'm going to that ball too. If nobody wants to go with me, alright. I'll be a lone wolf. Yes, sir. I'll get into my pirate suit and I'll go down there, and if anybody thinks I'm fooling, she'll find out. Great Gelder's sleeve at the ball in just a minute. Tonight's supposed to craft extend their very best wishes for a happy, healthy New Year. They also want to pledge their best efforts to produce for you in 1947 more of those fine craft food products that have been so much in demand and often so hard to get these past few years. That sounds very promising, Mr. Lange. And I hope especially they'll be making more Parquet Margarine. It's our family's favorite spread for bread, but still a bit scarcer now. Well then, here's some good news. Craft hopes to produce much more Parquet this year. Of course, some of the fine farm products from which Parquet is made are still in short supply, but the outlook is a lot brighter. And as more of these wholesome farm products become available, we'll be rushing Parquet Margarine to your dealer. Fresh and country sweet and flavor. The same fine quality as always. So look for it in your favorite food store. Look first for the Margarine of Craft Quality. Look first for Parquet. B-A-R-K-A-Y. Parquet Margarine. Made by the Craft Foods Company. Pardon me. Hey, look where you're going. Oop. Floor slippery. Better pull for the shore, mate. Join the stag line over with a punchbowl. Pardon me. Pardon me. Well, a fellow pirate. Shivered my timbers in a yo-ho-ho. Yo-ho-ho, yes. Peavey, is that you? And never would have known you. Yeah, it's me all right. I bet you don't know who I am. I wouldn't say that. Happy New Year, Mr. Gilder-Clean. Somebody must have told you. Say, Peavey, I'm looking for the stag line. You know where it is. Sure, this is it right here. You mean you're the stag line? Where's Mrs. Peavey? She's dancing with George Washington. As soon as I can cut him out, we're going home. George Washington? No. Hello, dear. Hooker, the old goat. In knee britches and soaked stockings. Well, there's no use standing here moping, Peavey. We're pirates. Let's be pirates. Grab ourselves a couple. Say, how about that lady bear back right here? I know this very myself. Interesting cock. You said it. Come on, let's grab some girls, Peavey. You grab one. I'll watch. Well, I'll have to wait until the band starts again anyway. Now what? Gentlemen, your kind attention, please. Chief Gates. Is that who it is, Peavey? That's right. He's the grand marshal. Must be going to say something. Your attention, please. It's been called to my attention that some of the gentlemen have been smoking here in the auditorium. Smoking in the auditorium is against the fire regulations. Gentlemen who wish to, wish to smoke will kindly go outside or they can smoke in the boys' locker room in the southwest corner of the building. I thank you. Good. I thank you. Boom. Well, Mr. Yodiss, are you going to try for the bear back rider? You bet. What's more, I'm going to get her. Come go ahead. Here she comes. Don't worry. I see her. If I can... Mike, Commissioner, happy new year. Happy new year, TV. Happy new year. For heaven's sake, another pirate? Is that you, Floyd? It ain't Captain Kidd. Well, I'll see you later. I got my eye on that lady bear back rider. Oh, no you don't. I got my eye on her. So what? It's a free country. She's a married man, Floyd. Isn't your wife here? Sure she's here, but there's no law says I've got to dance with her all night. You lay off that lady bear back rider. You better get this settled, gentlemen. Here she comes. She's mine. Don't move, Floyd. Pardon me, ma'am. May I cut in? Hey, Peter, will you? I just got her a minute ago myself. That doesn't make any difference. You're supposed to. Nuts. What happened, Mr. Gilda slave? Well, her fellow just got her. I decided to give him a break. Horse feathers. She's just choosy, that's all. Oh, is that so? Wait until next time around. I'll show you. Here comes something, Mr. younger slave. In the hula skirt there. Looks pretty good. For you, I mean. Hula skirt? Say. Listen, commissioner, I don't need any advice or help from you, Floyd. Pardon me, fair maiden. May I cut in? You sure are mad. See you later, pirates. I'll be darned. He got her. He got her all right. I tried to warn him, but he wouldn't listen. What do you mean? That's the wife. Well, serves him right in such a bullhead. Floydy, Mr. Gilda slave. He used to take me to dances all night on his feet, but he's terrible now. I suppose it's him standing around that barber chair all day. That'd give anybody fallen arches, and that he's put on so much weight. Yes. Whatever it is, I'm crazy about dancing, but he don't seem to care for her. We do like some punch or something, Mrs. Munson. Oh, no, I'm not thirsty. I'd rather just dance, Mr. Gilda slave. Hmm. I guess so. I mean, not particularly. I mean, hi, Floyd. Hi, Commissioner. It's nice to see Floydy enjoying himself for a change. As long as I'm having a good time, too. Yeah. A hula skirt was too undignified, but I know what he meant. He meant he thought I was too old for it. But I guess I showed him. What I say is a girl isn't too old unless she feels too old. Yeah. You think I'm too old for a hula skirt, Mr. Gilda slave? Mrs. Munson, will you excuse me for a minute? I have to go to the boy's locker room. I'm dancing and you know it. Why didn't you cut in on me when I waved at you? Ha-ha-ha-ha. The skirt didn't fool me. Oh, goat. Hey, here comes the Lady Bearback Rider. Who is she anyway? I don't know. My impression is she's a little too popular for the likes of us. Us? Speak for yourself, Hooker. There's nothing to matter with me. Just watch me. Pardon me, fair maiden, may I cut in? Oh, for Pete's sake, I just got her myself. Well, whatever. You're supposed to let another fall. I'll report you to the Grand Marshal. He's a friend of mine. Oh, nuts. Pardon me, fair maiden, may I cut in? Rock Morton. Of course you may. Eee-ee. Gosh, I didn't know it was you. You look wonderful in that dress. Whatever it is. What a nice compliment. It's a fact. Wouldn't have known it was you. I'm supposed to be an Arabian princess. Well, I'm a bold, bad pirate holding you for ransom. Say, how about shaking this following you with? We could go over to my place. Oh, I don't think I could do that. Why not? And the chief again. The big show-off stops the music every ten seconds or you'll make a speech. You're going to be unmasking the Grand Marshal and suffer. The foot race on this floor? The regulations will line up at the east end. The gentlemen at the opposite or west end. At the signal, the men will race to claim their partners. First come, first served. That is, whoever you catch is your partner for the grand march and for supper, which will follow immediately. I thank you. Shall we dance some more, Eve? If you like. Say, Eve, I've got an idea. Let's have supper together. Tell this Jim T2 you promised me to supper dance. But, Throckmorton, you just heard the announcement. Everyone is supposed to race for supper, partner. No, we could get around it. We could sneak up right now and come back after the race is over. But, Throckmorton, that would be cheating. But if you win the race there in Square, I'd love to have supper with you. Race on this floor? Against a professional athlete? Well, if you don't care enough to try. Pardon me. May I cut him? What the... oh, him. Oh, hello, Arthur. Thank you so much, Throckmorton. You're welcome. My George, I'd like to show her and that muscle man, too. Lionel Strongport. Throckmorton, please. Oh, why don't you look where you're going? The dickens, did you do it, Commissioner? Everybody else was sliding around and falling down. I went outside and put on my rubbers. Well, I'll be darned. Use my head, that's all. Here I am, Fair Maiden, Throckmorton, P. Gillersleeve, it's your service. Come on, you had to take yours off, too. Marjorie! I forbade you to that costume. Why, it's disgraceful. Now I'm stuck with you for supper. You're stuck! I wanted to eat with Jerry and now he's got somebody else. Why, George, I've got a mind to spank you. Happy New Year, Marjorie. Same to you, Miss Goodwin. Oh, I think it was sweet of you to choose Marjorie as your partner, Throckmorton. After all, New Year's Eve is a time for families to be together. Oh, that's for you. Be a bad boy. The Great Gillersleeve will be with us again shortly. I suppose every one of us would like to know what's ahead in 1947. Well, at the Kraft Foods Company, we have high hopes that delicious country sweet Parquet margarine will be available in larger quantities this coming year. More Parquet will be produced just as quickly as more fine hosts and farm products are available. And perhaps the time isn't far off when there'll be plenty of Parquet margarine for everyone. And here's one thing you can be sure of. Every single pound of Parquet you buy in 1947 will be the same fine quality as always. Rich in good flavor, high in food energy, every pound reliably fortified with 15,000 units of vitamin A. So, look first for this margarine of Kraft quality. Look first for Parquet P-A-R-K-A-Y Parquet margarine made by Kraft. P-A-R-K-A-Y P-A-R-K-A-Y P-A-R-K-A-Y Past the cinnamon rolls, will you Marjorie? Aren't you the past four? I don't care. I don't feel good. I need nourishment. For heaven's sake, can't the chief even let us eat in peace? Ladies and gentlemen, the judges have asked me to announce the name of the lady. They have chosen the queen of the mastfall. I'm happy to announce that her Majesty is Miss Marjorie Gillesley Forrest. She's my niece. She's my niece, you hear? By George Gillesley Blood will tell. The great Gillesley was played by Harold Curry. It is written by John Whedon and Sam Moore. The music is by Jack Meakin. Included in the cast are Walter Tetley as Lee Roy, Louise Erickson as Marjorie, and Lillian Randolph as Birdie. This is John Lang saying good night for the craft foods company and inviting you to listen in again next Wednesday for the further adventures of the great Gillesley. Good night. Happy New Year. See you in Memphis next week. It's one of the finest desserts you can imagine. Yes, rich, velvety, smooth ice cream made with frizz. That's F-R-I-Z-Z. Frizz is a new craft product that we're talking about. It makes real homemade ice cream that has plenty of milk and cream in it. Just add water, a little sugar, and frizz according to directions on the package. Frizz is made by an exclusive process that retains the fresh cream flavor. Gives you ice cream that freezes smoothly. Flavor variations from vanilla are easy. Six generous servings from one package of frizz. This is NBC, the national broadcasting company. Thank you for watching.