 The Jell-O program starring Jack Benny with Mary Livingston and Phil Harris and his orchestra. The orchestra opens the program with you on my mind from the picture here comes Carter. Each one of us has a favorite dessert, but once in a while some particular dessert becomes everybody's favorite, and that's the way it is with Jell-O. Jell-O is first in favor because it's first in flavors, six delicious flavors that come from fresh ripe fruit. Jell-O brings you added true fruit goodness and that's why it's the fastest selling gelatin dessert in the entire world today, but remember that Jell-O and only Jell-O brings you that swell extra rich fruit taste. So whatever you want a dessert that looks good tastes better and costs very little, serve Jell-O. Only be sure you get the real thing. Look for the big red letters on the box. They spell Jell-O. That was the last number of the sixth program in the new Jell-O series and we'll be with you again next Sunday night at the same time. I hope you all enjoyed our version of Girls Dormitory. Come on Mary, I'll take you home. Hi, that's God here. Oh, good night folks. Hey Jack, what's the idea? You're still on last week's show. Oh I know Don, but we were so rushed last Sunday that we didn't have time to finish the program and I, I never like to leave things undone. Well Jack, when shall I start tonight's show? Right now, go ahead. Okay, let's go. J-E-L-L-O. The Jell-O program starring you-know-who with Hoosis and his orchestra. The orchestra opens the program with what you might call it from the motion picture of the same name. And now ladies and gentlemen, we bring you the man who got up on the wrong side of the program, Jack Benny. Jell-O again, this is Jack Benny who just said good night and hopes nobody took him seriously. Say Don, wouldn't be awful if people heard me say that and thought that the program was really over. Oh Jack, I don't think people pay any attention to anything you say. Well, that makes me feel better, yeah. Say Jack. But no kidding Don, didn't we have fun last week with our schoolroom play? Oh, we sure did. Yes. Say Jack. You know Don, it brought back a lot of memories and it makes you wonder what became of your old schoolmate. Yes, it does. Yes. Say Jack. It's good to remember your old friends once in a while and heart back to childhood days. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. I got to get in here some play. Yep, it's fun reminiscing. And you know Don, I bet a lot of my old school pals in Waukegan, Illinois are sitting around Stubb Wilbur's garage listening to this program right now. Sure, Jack. Thanks, Don. You see Don? You know Don, when I went to school we used to have a lot of winter sports in Waukegan. Say, I'll never forget an old pal of mine, Joe Hickey. Many of the time Hickey and I played hooky just to play hockey. You're a little hokey there, Jack. True though, it's true. I'll bet those were the happy days. They sure were. And oh, Don, that little schoolhouse. I can just see that little red schoolhouse nestled in the hills among those sturdy oak trees. What a dump. Now I happen to have a picture of it here with me. Come here a minute, Don. Take a look at this. Oh boy, what a quaint old building. Isn't it picturesque? Yes, and look at that old-fashioned pump out in front. That's me and my nose isn't that long. Now, but gee, when I think of the hardships I went through to get an education. Well, I remember one cold winter morning when I was just a kid. I had to walk through 10 miles of snow to return a book I borrowed. That was Abraham Lincoln. Oh, it was? Well, anyway, I did something with that book I borrowed. You probably kept it. Well, I haven't finished it yet. Say, Jack, I remember once when I had to walk through 10 miles of snow right here in Hollywood. Well, Mary, it never snows here in Hollywood. It's a fine time to tell me. Go away, will you? Tell me, Jack, when you were a schoolboy, what were your favorite subjects? Well, Don, you may not appreciate this, but when I went to school, I expelled in smelling. I mean, I expelled in smelling. I was very good at it, really. Say, Jack. Yes, Phil? As long as I'm standing around here like a big dope, why don't you ask me about my school days? I was coming to that, Phil. You went to school in Alabama, didn't you? Yeah, and what hardships I went through. Well, I remember one bitter cold morning I had to walk through 10 miles of cotton to get to school. That's very funny. I didn't like it. Neither did I. Oh, Jack, did Kenny Baker ever go to school? Kenny, well, of course he did. The teacher must have been Gracie Allen. That's no way to talk about Kenny, especially when he isn't here yet. And that reminds me, I don't know whether you fellas know it or not, but tonight is Kenny's first anniversary on this program. It is. Yes, and I'm sure he doesn't know anything about us, so when he comes in, let's all give him a real welcome. I got a present for him, too. What'd you get him, Jack? I'm not going to tell you, it's a surprise. Oh, come on, tell us. No, no, I had to walk through 10 miles of bargain basements to get it. Hey, hey, Don. Hey, Mary, where's Don? Well, he's over there in the corner, sulking. Sulking? What for? Don, come here a minute. I won't. Well, what's the matter with you? Well, gee, you ask everybody else about their school days, and you didn't ask me, that's what. Why, Don, I didn't ignore you purposely. Now, come on, tell us about your school days. Well, I have plenty of hardships, too. Believe me. Aw. Why, remember, once bitter cold morning, I had to eat through 10 miles of jello to get to school. Now, Don, that never happened. You just made it up, kid. I know, but it was clever, wasn't it? I didn't like it. Well, the sponsor did. Playfield, 10 miles. Phil Harris and his arcs are playing with the I swing. A brand new number and should be a hit. I liked it. Didn't you like it, Phil? I wasn't listening. Oh. Yeah, I wish Kenny would get here. Will he be surprised? I bet he doesn't know it's his anniversary. I bet he doesn't know it's his birthday. Why, it isn't his birthday. I bet he doesn't even know that. He does, too. Jack, come on, tell us. Why'd you get Kenny for a present? Oh, you'll find out soon enough. It's something he can wear. Oh, Jack, Jack, here comes Kenny now. Now, remember, fellas, this is a surprise, and we don't want to tip him off. Gee, I can just see how his face, and when it'll be red when he finds out all about it. The kind of a line was that. Don, just read the script. You know what I wrote. Quiet. Here comes Kenny. Hello, Kenny. Hi, Kenny. Hi, fellas. Hello, Mary. Mary, why don't you answer them? I'm not going to give away the surprise. Kenny, come here a minute. Now, think. Think, Kenny, do you know what day this is? Sure, it's my first anniversary. Oh, then you knew it. Yes, Kenny, it's your first anniversary. First anniversary of what? I knew he started out too good. Look, Kenny, you've been on the Jell-O show exactly one year today, but to us, you're still the baby of our program. Baby? Yeah. Mary, what are you laughing at? Now I know what you bought for him. Nothing of the kind. He's too old. I am not. Well, anyway, Kenny, I want to congratulate you. You've been a great asset to our program, and I hope you'll be with us for a long time. Come on, fellas, let's all give Kenny a big cheer. Hooray! Wait for us, Kenny. Now, all together, boys. Hooray! Come on, Kenny, say something. Well, I don't know what to say, fellas. Oh, come on, don't be bashful. Hey, Phil, give him that box to stand on. And turn it around so they can all see the big red letters on it. Yes. All right, Kenny, you read that line all right, Don, you know? All right, Kenny, let's have it. Nice speech, attention, everybody. Well... Hello, people. Hmm. I am very happy to be here today, and I think that this, my first anniversary, is even better than my second one. And many more to come, which has certainly some stuff. What's he talking about? I don't know. It doesn't seem like I've been on this program a whole year, but I guess that's because we broke it up into half hours. Howdy, boy, Kenny. And furthermore, I wish to state that success hasn't gone to my head like it did to my good friend, Jack Benning. Thanks, Kenny, thanks. Oh, don't mention it. No. And to show my appreciation for the present I hope to receive, I will sing a beautiful number entitled, Talking Through My Heart, from Jack's last picture, The Big Broadcast. My latest picture, not my last. Knock wood. Ouch. Continue, Kenny. Yes. I dedicate this song to my girl, Lena, who was sitting right here in the first row. Say something, Lena. Gee, her speech was better than Kenny's. Mary. Well, go ahead and sing, Kenny, and when you get through, I've got a little surprise for you. Is it a present? Yeah, but you gotta sing first. Say, Phil, do you know Kenny's number? Yeah, it's Granite 3414. Oh. My answer, hang up. Yeah. Isn't this a silly way to make a living? Sing, Kenny. I hope you haven't got my wire. I confess my store of information is not complete in many ways. In school I'm a great head of star. I'm a dud at clever conversation. I'm always haunting for a fray, and I talk of this and that. I'll admit I may be talking through my head. But when I say I love you, talking through my heart, I agree with people just to be polite. But when I say I love you, but the words refuse to cross that I'm in love with you. Oh. Please, through my heart, from the big broadcast sung by Kenny Baker, and Kenny, you sang that as if you were really stuck on Lena. Do I get my present now? Yes, but it's a surprise. Now, first, I want you to close your eyes. Come on, Kenny, close your eyes. Both of them? Yes. Now, I'll give you a little hint as to what the present is. They come in pairs. They're made of metal. They have ball-bearing wheels. And you wear them on your shoes. Now, what are they? Spat. Oh, Kenny, look, Kenny, you go around on them, and they have straps. Oh, a streetcar. Isn't that awful? Say, Jack. What? Why don't you try it with his eyes open? Now, wait. He can't be that bad. Look, I'll try it once more. Now, Kenny, listen carefully. Every child has them. Me those? No. Roller skates. Roller skates! Bill Harrison is an orchestra. And now, for our western drama, Buck Benny rides again. The scene is the borrow, borrow, but don't pay back O'Rancho. Curtain. Music. Nice acting. It was Don Wilson, folks, just an old cow ham. Uh, come in. Hello, Daisy. Hello, tall, dark and bow-legged. Looks like you spent a little time on a horse yourself. Is your Papian? No, he's out of brand in the cattle. Where have you been, Buck? I've been Buck home for a couple of weeks. And I just got Buck. Welcome, Buck back. Well, I reckon we're going far enough on that dollar. Here comes Papi now. I said Papi, not Puffy. Well, here I come anyway. Hello, Sam. Daisy tells me you've been out brandin' the cattle. Yep, but I had to stop. How come? Ran out of brandy. You know, Sam, there's been a lot of rustlin' goin' around here lately. And that's what I'm here to see about, as long as the brandy's all goin'. Yes, I know. I'm expecting the sheriff here any minute. Must be him now. Come in. Come in. Pardon me, I'm Officer Murphy, and I cover this beat. Are you Jack Benny? Yes, but I can't talk to you now, officer. We're right in the middle of our sketch. Sketch or no sketch, you listen to me. Does the lad by the name of Kenny Baker work here? Yes, why? Well, he was skating down Hollywood Boulevard, and knocked over Tony's push cart with all his fruit on it, causing a lot of damage. He did? Yeah. Come in here, you two. Why, Kenny? I didn't mean to do it. Well, you know, I used to do it to my business, so that's why I do it to my show. I couldn't help it. My banana, she's a flyer this way. My coconut, she's a flyer that way. My wife, she's a flyer this way. Now don't get excited. Who's gonna get excited? I'm gonna have a disseguide put in the jail. Take your skates with you, Kenny. Shut up, will you? I'm scared. Sit down, Kenny, I'll handle it. All of my fruit is a squash. My banana is a squash. Everything is a squash. Everything is a squash! What am I going to sell? Squash! And up to you! Well, what do you want? I want money for damages. I'm a see my lawyer. You don't need a lawyer, we can settle this. Wait a minute, wait a minute. Don't settle anything. Hello, is this Giovanni? Oh, you again, are you this man's lawyer? You're sad as poopsie. Are your hands clean? Yes. Then here's my card. Same gut. Pat C. Flick. What's the C for? Capoinis. Now listen here, Flick. I didn't bump into your client's pushcard. You can't do anything to me. Oh, no. Who bought it all estate? I did, so what? So did. I'll have you in court as soon as my witnesses arrive from New York. New York? The accident happened in California. Wait till you hear my witnesses. You and your face. You and your fake witnesses. You can't intimidate me. I can, Pa. Now listen to this. Hello again. This is Giovanni talking. I said intimidate, not imitate. Never mind us. How was I? Lozzi. Sheriff, are you? Quiet, Bambino. Now look here, you can't blame me for this accident. I was anywhere near the place. This guy, he's a craze. Five down, Solomio. I'll handle this. Listen to me, Boss Bunny. Everything you said is irrelevant. And irrelevant, never forget. Are you going to settle or yes? That's the case. What's the total damage? Well, the push card will have to be repainted. That will cost you a thousand dollars. Repainted a thousand dollars for painting a push card? Who's going to do it? Michelangelo? Mary, is there anything else? Don't forget about my wife. She's got the damage at all. What's the matter with her? Why did the push card that she defaulted on top of her and knock out the four pieces? And now she cannot talk. All right, how much for that? Well, for that I allow you five dollars. Now wait a minute, we're wasting a lot of time. How much cash will it take to settle this thing right now? Five hundred dollars. No, no, six to hundred. Go on, take five. No, no, six to hundred. All right, six hundred. I'll give you twenty-five dollars. Okay. Well, thank heaven that's over. Here's your twenty-five, get out of here. Thank you. Well, Tony, fifty-fifty, here's your five. Come on. You've got a kid like that had to cause me all this trouble. Now listen here, Kenny, I hate to do this, but I've got to give you a good talking to. Don, carry on while I speak to Kenny and talk a little louder than usual. Okay, Jack. Now come here, Kenny. Jello is the largest selling gelatin dessert in the world. It's economical and easy to make and every day millions of people eat it. So be sure and insist on genuine jello, which comes in six delicious flavors. Strawberry, raspberry, cherry, orange, lemon and lime. And not only that, you spoiled our sketch and practically ruined the entire show. Now, aren't you a little bit ashamed of yourself, Kenny? No. Well, play-filled. Everybody likes chocolates. Everybody likes pudding. And the perfect combination of both is found in jello chocolate pudding. It's a new product with the grandest homemade flavor you've ever tasted. Smoother, creamier, more chocolatey. That's what everybody will say of jello chocolate pudding. Amazingly easy and inexpensive to make. Here's all you do. Simply mix the contents of one package of jello chocolate pudding with some milk in the top of your double boiler, letting it cook until the mixture is thick and satin smooth. It takes only about ten minutes altogether. Then, after it's cooled, serve jello chocolate pudding in sherbet glasses. You'll have a rich, delicious dessert that will win cheers from everyone who's lucky enough to be on hand. And remember, jello chocolate pudding sells for the same low price as jello. And one package will make enough for six luscious servings. Ask your grocer tomorrow for jello chocolate pudding. And if he hasn't put it in stock yet, be sure he orders it for you. Last number of the seventh program in the new jello series, and we'll be with you again next Sunday night at the same time. Say, Mary, did you hear me when I bawled out Kenny's? Yes, and I think you deserved it, too. I think so. Well, so long, Jack. So long. Why, Mary, where'd you get Kenny's case? What's this, though? Don Tassel. Good night, Paul. Good. This is the Red Network from the National Broadcasting Company. K-F-I Los Angeles, Earl C. Anthony, Incorporated.