 There's a quote from the TV show Bojack Horseman, written by showrunner Rafael Bob Waxberg that goes, When you look at someone through rose-colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags. And though the original context talks about red flags and romantic relationships, the same can certainly be true for ourselves too, don't you think? Because as hard as it is sometimes to spot the warning signs in our own relationships and in the people we love, it might be even harder to spot them in ourselves. Because of our tendencies to empathize and rationalize with our own choices actions. With that said, here are six red flags you need to look out for in yourself, according to experts. Number one, unconstructive self-talk. Psychologist Dr. Elizabeth Scott defines negative self-talk as any inner dialogue you have with yourself that may be limiting your ability to believe in yourself and your own abilities and to reach your potential. In fact, research by Kindermann, Schwaner, Ponton, and Tai found that negative self-talk increases the risk of mental health problems such as decreased motivation, feelings of helplessness, and even depression. So if you are guilty of constantly putting yourself down and having a lot of self-deprecating thoughts, even the ones you pass off as jokes, then talking to a professional or applying effective CBT techniques, for example, thought-stopping, mindfulness, etc, can help you minimize this. Two, neurotic need for social validation. Do you feel that you're too much of a people pleaser? Does your self-esteem often go up and down depending on other people's opinions and feelings towards you? Perhaps you feel a strong need to always get everyone else to like you, regardless of whether or not you even like them. All of these are signs that you may have a neurotic need for social validation. And this is a red flag because according to mental health and wellness author Marissa Pomerance, people with too high a need for social validation often have low self-esteem and stay in, or even chase after, unhealthy, one-sided friendships and relationships, neurotic need for control. Constantly needing to fix other people's problems for them, running to their rescue even when you don't want to, and micromanaging everyone around you are all not only red flags but tell-tale signs that you may have a neurotic need for control. According to Dr. Christine Adams in an article for Psychology Today, people who struggle with this most likely grapple with strong feelings of helplessness and to cope become overly demanding in their way of relating to other people. Number four, toxic perfectionism. Related to the earlier point, Dr. Christine Adams also talks about something she calls self-control freaks, or what is more commonly known as toxic perfectionism. The problem, according to Dr. Adams, is that people like this expect themselves to perform perfectly and without error, and as such, are only setting themselves up for failure and disappointment. This is not only a definite red flag and a weakness but a harmful habit for your mental health. Number five, avoidant attachment. In an article from Better Help, which was medically reviewed by licensed clinical social worker April Justice, people with avoidant attachment styles tend to be emotionally detached and closed off. They often feel uncomfortable with long-term closeness and intimacy in relationships. As a result, their knee-jerk response is to avoid the other person or manifest other self-sabotaging behaviors such as cheating, ghosting, and never asking for help instead of communicating with the other person and collaborating on resolving the issue with them. Number six, social media addiction. Another red flag you might not realize you have is social media addiction. Researchers like Hu and others found in a 2019 study that it negatively affected college students' mental health and academic performance. An article from Healthline written by medical health practitioners Dr. Christine Cherney and Dr. Timothy Legg found that some possible downsides of too much social media consumption are low self-esteem, increased feelings of loneliness, anxiety or depression, the onset of social anxiety disorder, disrupted sleep patterns, decreased physical activity, ignoring real-life relationships, and reduced ability to empathize with others. So, do you see any of these red flags in yourself? Let us know in the comments below. If the answer is yes, then know that you're not alone. Most of us are struggling with at least one or more of these. What matters most isn't that we strive for perfection but for growth and self-development. And as with any other challenge we encounter, the first step to overcoming it is to acknowledge the problem. Dr. Itai Itson, a positive psychologist and professor at Naropa University, suggests that we can change ourselves for the better in a gradual three-step process by setting goals for ourselves over three weeks with increasing difficulty. But of course, if you are seriously struggling with any mental health concerns, do not hesitate to reach out to a psychologist or a counselor today and get the help and support you need and deserve.