 Today, we're going to talk about the three feminine traits, three that a high-value man finds irresistible in a woman. Now, before we get started, I just want to identify something about feminine since I use that word. And many of you know that I don't like the rhetoric of masculine and feminine energy. And while I totally subscribe to, we contextualize masculine tends to be male and feminine tends to be female. What I don't like is the rhetoric centered around the energy around a person, okay? And it's because I hear some people out there in the dating realm talk about masculine energy within a woman can be controlling, it can be goal-oriented, it can be aggressive, it can be dismissive to men. And when I think about that, they say masculine energy in a woman is bad, okay? Well, here's the thing. In my world, masculine energy simply means doing, and feminine energy means receiving. And a good, healthy person has a capacity to give and receive in a relationship. Because the contrary about feminine energy men might say, they claim are needy men, they're weak men, they're undecisive male, they're beta males. And that's characterizing it bad. And I just don't like that. That's why I get so riled up when I hear contemporary, or not contemporaries, people out in the dating realm talk about masculine and feminine that way. Because to me, a good, healthy person has a balance of being able to give and receive in the relationship. Don't you ladies want, listen, if you're with this masculine energy man who's in his masculine energy a hundred percent of his time and you just get to sit back in your feminine energy and everything will be okay, I just want you to think about this for a moment. Will he genuinely be able to receive your love? Because just, I want you to think about giving and receiving. A healthy human being in a healthy relationship should look like two cars traveling down the road where you're giving and receiving equally. You're giving and receiving equally. That to me is a more effective way to approach the dynamic around masculine and feminine energy. And I just wanted to share that with you. The other thing is this title might have created some pause for some of you because of the term high value. And I know there are some people out in the YouTube universe talking about high value, particularly one man states that a high value man is someone who has financial success probably in the top one or two percent income earners. He is well respected in the community and he has authority over males around them. And this person probably identifies with high value as an alpha male, okay, an alpha male. And for some of you, you might see that as an attractive person to be with. You want to be with a high value man. I want to lean into what I think high value is because this is critically important for this part of the conversation for you understand what a man finds irresistible in a woman, especially this high value man. We could call him high quality, but we're really talking about, at least in my universe, high value is a man whose actions consistently matches his words, his actions consistently matches words. Like we're all going to make mistakes sometimes there's going to be times where we say something and we don't live up to it. That's just going to happen. But there's a consistency. And the reason why I call that high value versus those who are inconsistent with their words, that's a lack of integrity in my book. That's a lack of not living up to the four agreements, which is always do your best. Don't take things personally. Understand that people's judgment towards you as a projection of themselves and be impeccable with your word. That's what actions matching words means. That's what a high value person does or a person that strives to be their best. Number two in this high value narrative is that they have victor consciousness and not victim consciousness. Sadly, here in the United States, we suffer from people living in victim consciousness. Now I'm not suggesting victimhood isn't about being abused or physical violence. That I'm not, I'm totally against that. What I'm talking about is consciousness, in other words, always blaming others for one's plight, one's misfortune in their life. They're always blaming someone else. They're pointing a finger instead of looking at the three fingers pointing back at them. Because a high value person takes charge of their life and says, you know what? When something isn't going right, I'm going to take charge of my life. I'm not going to blame others. Another aspect of high value is they know how to fight fair. And by the way, I'm talking about men and women alike, but a high value man knows how to fight fair and what he can do in the relationship is when there's friction between the two of you, friction, he listens to your point of view and he accepts your point of view as being true for you. And my hope is you do the same for him because that's, you want a man who's going to listen to you and recognize that there are differences in how you might operate and genuinely appreciate your point of view. That's a very attractive aspect of a relationship. Unfortunately, we have people out there that are in, you know, that are using others or they're just wasting time in relationship. Have you been with one of those guys that are users or waste your time? If you haven't seen my chart of three people actively dating, this is men and women alike. There's the users, the spenders and the growers. The users are the love bombers. They're the players. They're the gold diggers. Those are the entitled people. They're going to use you. They're going to waste your time. And the spenders are those people that want connection. They want companionship. They want copulation or sex, but they have no direction. They're afraid of love. And these are many of you women out there as well. You can be spenders spending time not hoping for the man to take the lead in many cases, but you have to work on your own fearfulness. And the growers and the builders. These are the people that are capable of leaning into a relationship and they're not afraid because a high value person also has a level of empathy. And empathy isn't just I can feel your feelings. Empathy is I care about this other person's feelings as much as I care about my own. That's true empathy. When you can, when you can not just feel someone's feelings, you care about their feelings as much as you care about your own feelings. And lastly, there's a level of transparency in the relationship. And transparency means if there's something material to the relationship, you don't shove it under the rug and a man who's high value, again, we can call it high quality, we're just talking about a more evolved empowered person. If it's material, the relationship, they're going to speak up. And so this is the man we're leaning into today. And what he's most attracted to is a woman who mirrors him, who mirrors him. Now, sadly, women have a propensity of giving their power away to men because you've been indoctrinated in this belief that men are the leaders of the relationship. And I get it. This has been going on for 200,000 years. It's the one up, one down. In fact, there's so many people out on YouTube selling you on the idea that you must be submissive to be irresistible to a man. And I'm here to say, I'm looking at my shirt right now, people who think they know everything annoy those of us, they do. When I hear that rhetoric, and by the way, this is just my sense of humor for you all. My coffee mug here says, don't make me go all psycho roommate on you as well. What I'm here to say is when I hear that from people, I'm like, that just annoys me that that's the advice out there that you ladies must be a subservient in relationship. Listen, I look at my mom and dad who were married 66 years before my mother, my mother passed away, actually one month shy of 66 years. They were a team. In fact, my mom was probably more in charge of the relationship than my father. The emotional aspects of the relationship. And when a man adores you, when he sees you, my mother had this. My mother was over 300 pounds, five foot, five, 300 pounds, but she could walk into the room like she owned a room. She owned a room when she walked into it. She didn't give her power away to anyone and she certainly didn't give it to my father. And a man will not find a woman irresistible if she's giving her power away. This is why lately I've been recommending the book. You should all check this out why men love bitches. I just started reading this bit stands for babe in total control of herself. Yes. Okay. And I've been bookmarking passages here. You know, I'm just going to read one or two principles real quickly because this is so important to be irresistible in relationship. If you start out dependent, it turns him off. But if it is something he can't have, it becomes more of a challenge for him to get. And the also, if your attitude about yourself, wait, it is your attitude about yourself that a man will adopt. Like this reminds me of my mother. She had that empowerment within herself. And my father adored her right up until the end. They had their challenges, but they each showed up in this high value sense. Because a man doesn't find, well, a healthy man, an emotionally healthy man. And by the way, if you haven't seen this chart about emotional maturity and relationship skills, by the way, the previous chart is not a fact. It's just an opinion, but there's roughly 20% of the population as clinical issues. Have any of you watched the Amber Heard, Johnny Depp trials? We're talking about people with clinical issues. You know, whether it's alcoholism, whether it's borderline, whether it's bipolar, whatever the narcissism, sociopaths, there are people that have genuine issues out there. And while I say 20% are healthy in their relationship skills, I'm being a little bit generous. The vast majority of humans are dysfunctional. And they're either coming or going from one of these places. So you can actually still find a dysfunctional man that's actually growing into being a grower and a builder in a relationship. So don't give a hope because we're, listen, I'm even a bit dysfunctional. Maybe I'm a lot dysfunctional. Who knows if I think I know everything, I probably am. So what's a man going to find irresistible on a woman? Well, that's what I want to lean into for the next few minutes. And again, these are, when we use the word feminine traits, we just simply mean female traits. Okay. It's not about feminine energy or masculine energy. So let me pull up my trusty notes and let's get started. So number one, I think one of the most things men find irresistible is a woman who has their act together. They have their act together. They don't operate from constant drama. I met a woman on a first date. She was weird. Like, I mean, we're having coffee. We met up in Marina Del Rey. And she started to share with me about a car accident she had. And it's leading to a lawsuit that she's in. And there's something going on with her work. And I'm like, that didn't endear her to me one bit. That didn't endear her to me one bit. I just, all I saw was red. Okay. I saw drama, drama, drama. And so when a person has their act together, when they operate with their finances are good, their past relationships don't have drama. Oh my gosh. How many of you ladies or men watching this have been with someone who has drama with their ex-relationship? Oh my God. They're going through a contentious divorce. That is no fun. That's not irresistible, whether you're with a man or a woman. They have good relationships with coworkers. They have good relationships with friends. They're actually happy people. And they live life from that place. They're not living life from a downer because they have their physical, they have their emotional act together. And that leans into the next one that a man will find irresistible. At least a high value empowered man. By the way, please forgive the noise out there is that they have their physical act together. They eat healthy. They don't, they're not, listen, I'm not here to judge. I guess I am judging. So let me judge. Okay. They're not chain smokers. They lead a healthy lifestyle. They have physical, they have physical fitness as an important part of their life because here's the thing. At midlife, we're meeting people that the days in front of us are going to be a lot shorter than the days behind us. So the more we stay in physical health, it's a very attractive thing because you want to spend is, you know, when you find that person, you want to spend the rest of your life with, you want them to have a sense of health as part of that. Because you want longevity or I think you do. And lastly, and this piggybacks on what we've talked about before, there's a level of emotional maturity within a woman. And we just shared those five things that the actions match their words. So when we're talking about a high value man, we're talking about the same thing in a woman, actions matching words, victor consciousness, knowing how to fight fair, a level of empathy for themselves as well as the person they're with and transparency. And because these days, most humans have terrible communication and relationship skills, emotional maturity, I highly recommend checking out the book The Hoffman Process. The Hoffman Process. This is a deep, by the way, there's a link below to all the books I recommend. This is a deep dive into healing childhood wounds and traumas and adult traumas that cause us to have negative patterns and limiting beliefs in our life. In fact, one of the aspects of my private coaching, by the way, there's a link below to schedule a free discovery call with me. One of the aspects of my private coaching is helping you to determine which men are emotionally mature enough to be in relationship. Because here's the thing, you're most likely either gonna meet, you have a higher chance of meeting a user or a spender than a grower, okay? Now, those spenders are actually capable of leaning into a healthy relationship, but you have to be able to identify which ones are closer to the user type and which one are closer to the grower builder types. That's where I come in to help you out. And I recommend reading these books because it's part of the process of figuring it out. In fact, this is why I recommend reading my book, What the Heck Is Self Love Anyway? A Journey of Personal Development, Self Help and Spiritual War, there's a link below. Because ultimately, these days, you have to be recognized that we're meeting total strangers. By the way, if you haven't checked out this book, Talking to Strangers by Malcolm Gladwell, I highly recommend checking this out because when we're meeting total strangers, we have this belief that chemistry will equal relationship success. And yet relationships require so much more. Many of you know my relationship iceberg. I'm gonna share it today. We oftentimes focus on attraction, which is the tip of the iceberg, chemistry. But what makes a relationship successful is below the waterline compatibility, which is shared values, blendable lifestyles, and emotional maturity. And if you can't determine if this person is ready to be in a relationship, then it doesn't matter how irresistible you are. It doesn't matter how much you have your act together, how much your physical life and your emotional life is at together. Because you want, listen, I didn't like titling this feminine high value, but I did it because this is what we associate with when it comes to wanting a healthy happy relationship. And yet the average human is rather delusional. I'll be candid with you. I think most humans are rather delusional in their relationship capacity of what they can attract in because they don't work on themselves. And this is true of men and women alike. You want the best. And yet you're not doing the work inside to attract the best. This is why I recommend all of these books to help prepare you. Because I don't know everything, okay? What I do know is there's a lot of good people out there that can help you along the way. And that's why I recommend all these books. All right. So coming back to what men, a high value man finds irresistible. Listen, when you're working on yourself, when you're coming to the world, when you're coming from a love cup that's full, you're going to become a magnetic attractor for a man who genuinely wants to be with you. So I want to leave you with this one last thought. And I want to leave you with a prayer. And that prayer is simple. I want you to close your eyes, put your hands on your heart, and now put your hands together and simply say, Dear God, universe, spirit, I attract, I attract in healthy love in my life where we have mutual chemistry with one another, where we can communicate with one another with laughter, fun, and play. And we're open to communication and that we are compatible with one another because our lives are blendable with one another and our emotional maturity will allow us to handle conflicts and differences with ease. And lastly, we will build the deep roots together through regular play and social activities and hobbies and mutual interests and spending time with our family and friends together as well as emotional and physical intimacy with one another. And Dear God, universe, spirit, I invite that into my life today because I am working on being the best version of myself and I seek a partner who is also working on being the best version of themselves. And that I ask for, amen. And that is my prayer for you today and I invite you to attract that into your life. And if you need some support on that, again, check out the link to a free discovery call with me to see if working with a coach is right for you. All right, listen. If you like this video, if you have something to say, please post a comment below, like this video, share it with your friends, be truly grateful. As always, if you find value in what I do, check out the other links to my group or my Instagram. And I'm going to wrap up this video as I always do. First off, give myself a big gigantic Jonathan Bear hug of self love. I'm going to reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay. I'm going to ask you to turn to someone, Pat, a Teddy Bear pillow, and give Iter them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love and let's face it, we could all use more loving in our lives. I hope you enjoyed the three feminine traits, a high value man finds irresistible. Take care. Bye-bye now.