 And welcome to everybody who's on this call today and we're going to cover some really good ground on how we can think about fear differently than we're doing right now. So I am going to share my screen and we will get started. So let's go with that. And bingo. There we are. So here's the question why does fear matter to your success. Now we don't normally hear fear and success in the same sentence, but it does have a parallel here and there is a connection between the two things. Because the thing about fear is that it's a driver for growth. When you feel that fear going off either in the pit of your stomach or you've got sweaty palms or you're overthinking something. That's where you have to stop and pause and ask yourself, what's that all about. We know today that fear is everywhere from COVID to the future of work to the war in Ukraine and rising inflation. We seem to be confronted with fear every single day. And of course in the workplace there's been massive shifts and how people are choosing to work, not to mention the number of people who are getting laid off and work at this moment. The idea of work has been completely upended, which is causing great confusion amongst many people in general. Part of what I talk about is that being fearless is not the absence of fear, but the courage to show up. Fearless is about having the courage to make the right decisions, learning how to be honest with ourselves, facing the uncertainty, which is actually the only thing we can guarantee in life is uncertainty. And we know that while we might not have control of many facets of our life, the truth is, you probably have a lot more control than you think. And of course during these COVID years we have found out how resilient we are and how we can use that resiliency to weather the changes and whatever it is that we have to deal with. And as I said, fear matters to your success because it is a driver for growth. It's the engine that changes your thinking and behavior to achieve the things you say you want. So during this presentation I want you to think about how fear has impacted your life and what steps you can take to correct any limited thinking that might be getting in the way of your continued success. And I'll be giving you some insights into how you can counteract that negative side of dealing with fear and become even more resilient. So I ask you right now to make notes when something strikes you as interesting and be ready with questions when I interrupt the flow of things, and Leah will be taking note of your questions and we can get to talk about it. And at the end of this presentation I want you to think about how this information is applicable to you, to your life, to your work, to your relationships, and to everything that you might well be all about. Let me change my screens here. There we go. Let's see. Moving right along. There we go. So Leah gave you a little background on who I am. This tells you a little bit more about who I am. I'm the author of three books The Fearless Factor, The Fearless Factor at Work and When the Crow Sings a Novel. And as she mentioned, there's a new one coming up called the Fearless Woman Handbook. But I'm also the author of transformational strategies for success, break through the noise redefining your relationship to uncertainty, as well as being a keynote speaker. This is what I said earlier. Being fearless is not the absence of fear but the courage to take the next step. And I'm wanting to take that one then very carefully. Taking the next step is really where we find what we are made of. It's what defines our character and what allows us to really move forward. And while the next step might feel like it's a big one, just as long as there's movement forward, it's actually not that big. Most people say it's a big chasm. You find out it's only about half a foot wide. And we test our limits by taking that next step. We push against the restrictions and the limited thinking that we might have going on. And as you can see from this slide, having support to help you is vital to your success. So here's what you can expect on this journey. You're going to examine your limiting beliefs and expand your vision of possibilities. You'll develop more confidence to affect transformational change, and you'll understand how fear plays an important part in moving beyond your limitations. I like to say, are you fearless? Most people say, what does that mean? Well, I've kind of outlined it. But let's talk about this piece. We all are leaders of our own lives. And when people think about that, you think about this. If you have a family, you're the leader of a family. You're a role model. You're also the leader of your own life because you take control of your own life, and you lead your life the way you want to. So it's not just about whether you're in charge of people, but being in charge of yourself. Great leaders are not born. They are forged in the steel of experiences, both good and bad. And that's your life too. You've been forged in the steel of the experiences that you've had in life. Part of being fearless is knowing who you are, defining your vision and taking positive actions to create a fearless leader. Let's talk about the limited thinking. We all have limited beliefs that lead to limited behavior. And having done dozens of behavioral assessments, I know for a fact that beneath many behaviors, aggressive and passive lies a great deal of fear driven by negative thinking and behaviors that don't work in your favor. We begin acquiring beliefs in childhood. We inherit them from other people. What other people said to you, your authority figures growing up, doesn't have to be parents, but frequently it is. It can be other authority figures like teachers or bosses, but you've heard something along the way that has limited who you think you are. Society trains us to reign in our behavior to conform and too many of us conform according to other people's standards. Many of our beliefs are operating at a subliminal level and what I want you to think about is, such as mind is really like the tip of the iceberg. What's going on unconsciously is what's really driving the train. And getting down to that is what we're going to try to reveal today in terms of how that is operating. And we can change our behavior and our thinking because thinking comes before the behavior when we can identify the beliefs that hold us back. And remember also that thinking is driven by emotions and learning how to identify those emotions is another big piece of it. The constant consequences of self limiting beliefs are this. They're like a chapter in a book and when you put them together they become your story. And I want to stop on this piece because this is a big one. When we look at fear, what is fear? It is simply the stories that you are telling yourself. It's nothing bigger than that because fear is imagination based for the most part. Unless you're being physically threatened, it's the stories that you make up that guide you on the path that you're on. And frequently we have to stop and ask ourselves where these stories true. Now that's one I want you to stop on and think about for a moment. What story are you telling yourself because our beliefs have a direct influence on whether we achieve or not. And your actions are dependent on what you believe which leads to specific results. So when you were a child you probably heard messages that were meant to keep you safe and may also have been said to keep you in your place. These messages became embedded in our thinking even as we grew to understand that there was another way. And certainly in my own life I was told many times that I would never amount to much and I was given no encouragement to do otherwise. We hear those messages over and over again. And what happens is they become the means of our existence. We believe them to be true. You start calling yourself names. You start calling your names self names like you're stupid. You're not capable. You will never get what you want blah blah blah blah blah and it is a blah blah blah blah blah because again, you're not considering that you're far more than you think you are. We are frequently unkind to ourselves through the language that we use on our inner dialogue. And we lack the compassion and understanding that we need in order for us to grow. Think of it this way. We're all our own worst enemies. What would it look like if you were your own best friend. Now, most people have some form of limited thinking. No question about it. We need to pay attention to that voice because here's the other thing about that voice and I'll tell you that from experience. Is that many times it's the voice of someone else someone else who had fear someone else who had self doubt someone else who didn't think very much of themselves someone else who was disappointed at life and maybe resentful at life. And it's all that baggage that gets pushed over to someone else. So be mindful of the stories that you're telling yourself. And when you're faced with the fear. I want you to ask one question. Is it true. Do I have empirical evidence for it. Because if you don't, it's just another story that you've made up. I talk about pushing limits. And as I said, beliefs are not necessarily based in fact question them often. Take more risks to discover your truth and be honest with yourself and here's the other thing that I know for a fact. I'll give you a little bit of my own personal history. What I'm teaching you today is something that I have learned over decades of taking a hard look at my own stuff. And what it was doing to me to diminish my sense of self to really reduce my confidence levels. And for me not to believe that I could achieve more than I have achieved. Now having written three books, made music that was a counter for synagogues in Paris and Amsterdam. What else martial arts, I took up martial arts in my 40s the hold of black belt and karate. And I took up CrossFit when I was in my 60s. I'm now in my 70s. And I can tell you all this that that was the moments when you face the fear and do it anyway. Because our fears frequently are the belief that we cannot handle whatever it is that comes our way. The commitment to knowing who you are. This is one of my favorite quotes. The privilege of a lifetime is knowing who you are by Joseph Campbell. And if you don't know who Joseph Campbell is, go check it out in the library. He was a famous mythologist. He also created something called the heroes journey. And it's all about how we go on a quest, a quest to discover the truth. So if you can go to the library and check out Joseph Campbell's work on archetypes and mythology. I think it would be worth your while, but this piece here, the privilege of a lifetime is knowing who you are. I have to tell you that there's only about 15% of the population really is self aware, ie I know who I am. The majority of people go around with blinkers on. It's too hard because the truth of the matter is change is hard. You have to get comfortable being uncomfortable. And that's part of the deal. So show up for yourself, if for no one else and get honest about your strengths, your weaknesses, your blind spots. And if you don't know what they are, then go find somebody who can help you discover what that is. Because I wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for all the amazing people that I have not only hired in my lifetime but who have shared their wisdom and their knowledge and their decades of experience with me. So that I could understand myself even better than I do. To be happy you must achieve more than your goals. You must be courageous enough to write a new story and change what's not working. And here's how I like to put this. You're either going to be the author of your own life or you're going to be living in someone else's epic novel. It's your choice. And when you do that, when you can sit down and really write a new narrative of who you think you are, and by the way, when somebody said to you, who do you think you are? Let's change the tone of that one a little bit and say, who do you think you are? Because the majority of people, when you ask them who they are, will give you a label. I'm a wife, a mother, a daughter, I'm a senior vice president, I'm a whole bunch of labels. But you're not really declaring who you are because you haven't taken the time to truly self reflect on what that actually looks like. But when you do, it's amazing what doors are opening to you. And I can tell you again from my own experience that if someone had said to me even 20 years ago that I'd be standing here right now telling you everything that I'm telling you, I would have gone yeah right. Not a chance. I've written about it. I talk about it. I'm passionate about it. I created a piece 18 years ago and I said my mission in life is to change the world one person at a time. That was a big statement at that moment in my life. But I believe that to be true. And I still believe it to be true. So I'm going to stop there for a moment. And I'm going to ask if there's any questions that come up. Not so far, Jacqueline. Not so far. Okay, terrific. Let's talk about resilience. What is resilience. Resilience is basically the story of what you've gone through. It's something that we all earn. And for those who struggle with resilience change can feel like a full blown disaster movie. The first word that I see is optimism. This last one is a sense of humor and let me go back to that slide because we went a little too far there. There we go. So optimism. I'm a great optimist. I could say astrologically I'm a Sagittarian so therefore I am a natural optimist but truly, I do believe in a positive future. I do believe that people are genuinely good for the most part. And I genuinely believe that no matter how bad it gets, it can get even worse. And I'll give you a little bit of my own background for a moment there to talk about resilience and how that is earned. I grew up in Scotland, which is where this funny accent comes from. I grew up in poverty. And not only did I grow up in poverty, I grew up with an alcoholic father who when he went off the rails thought it was okay to go beat his wife and kids up. And he did that on a regular basis. So I grew up with very low self-esteem. And I learned fear at a very early part of my life by hiding and watching for signs. And I have to say I've been an astute observer of human behavior from a very young age because I needed to keep myself safe to stay out of the drama that was going on. And did it build strength of character? Yes it did. But it was worse than that. I was 16 in Scotland and I moved to London. And I moved there ostensibly to be with a boyfriend. And as it turned out within the first 24 hours, he decided he wanted to beat me too. So that didn't last more than five seconds. And then I was out on my ear with nowhere to live, not a job, and no money. I had to figure it out. This is where that forged in the steel or the fires of experience comes into play. I could continue with this story by saying that I had a child at the age of 20 and I gave it up for adoption. And then a few years later after I got married and had another child, I left both of them behind as well. It was part of my life. The first 27, 28 years of my life were a disaster. But when I look back on it now and I look back on all these experiences, I think, what was it that created that incredible resilience for me to keep getting up and keep moving forward? Because resilience and the optimism is not just the Pollyanna effect that, you know, life can get better. We hold that position and life does get better. And as for the sense of humor, well, I have to say, I have learned not to take myself too seriously. And people often say to me, how could you tell these stories of all the things you've gone through? Because it's simply, for me, a story. It's gone. It's passed. Because part of our fears are that we generate this idea of what will happen in the future. We're going to go broke. We won't have a job. We won't have a home. We won't have a relationship, blah, blah, blah. But until you've got some evidence about it, you're just making shit up. It's very simple. Back to the stories. And when you examine the rest of this diagram, you can see that resilience comes from our experiences. We learn who we are. We know what we're capable of. We learn how to adapt and find a different way. And we learn how to be flexible when life throws the curveballs. And let's face it, the last few years, we have all been very challenged with COVID and all the ramifications and the changes that that has created in our life. And some of us have been impacted by that very personally. And if that's you, I'm sorry to hear about that. But one of the things I do know is that when we aren't given hard circumstances, we do learn how to bounce back. So check your thought patterns. In times of change, it's easy to undermine our ability to overcome obstacles. We tend to think in black and white either or scenarios. You assume that we're still happen and you have fears that the world as you know it will never be the same again. Well, that has to be true, because our world is constantly changing. And if we can't learn to flow with it, and we get stuck in that fear and that insecurity that anxiety about what is happening to our lives. That makes it very, very difficult to see a bright future in front of you. So check your thoughts at the door. This is really important. And it means being vigilant to how you think about yourself being vigilant to the ways in which you want to undermine yourself and how you deal with it. And if you are a mind spinner or a monkey mind as they call it in Buddhism, and you find it hard to slow down, then you have to find some methods to be able to do that. I found meditation. I found meditation very helpful because it allows me to get very grounded. You might be going for a walk, you might be talking to a friend, might be hiring some help to get your mind straight on what it is that you want out of life. And it is helpful to remember that whatever difficulty you're going through, you probably have dealt with the same or worse previously. And you successfully navigated your way through it because there's a tendency to go, it's really bad. And then you forget that you had really bad times before that you survived. And again, the building of your strength and resilience in there. Focusing on your priorities. The most resilient people see change as an opportunity rather than a monster to fear. Transitions in life allow you to consider where your priorities lie. If the last three years haven't taught you anything, it will, or if it has taught you anything, it will be about your priorities, where does it lie. And for a lot of people, it was family first. You know, you want to make sure that everybody's healthy, happy, doing their life. And how do you really want to spend your time on this earth? What's really important to you? And if you're wasting your time and energy on the wrong stuff, you might want to re-appraise that and figure it out for yourself. Resilient people see change as an opportunity, as I said earlier. That's an important point. So again, if you don't know where you're going, any old road will take you there. So make sure that you have a vision of where you want to go and don't be afraid to make it as big as you want to make it. Because the truth of the matter is that when we think small, we get small. And if you think big, well, you may not reach the entire vision of what you've got in mind, but you might get a lot further than just playing it safe. Because here's the other thing about playing it safe. We try to create the security in our life. We try to have control of whatever it is that's going on in our lives. But there's no such thing as a really safe thing. We live in California. There could be an earthquake in the next five minutes. And then what's going to happen there? We've all got to deal with it. We've got tremendous flooding going on out there right now. We're very fortunate that for most of us, we don't live in that zone. But this is a real thing. Safety is an illusion. And I want you to think about that for a moment. We are so concerned about creating safety in our life, but it can all be ripped away in moments. So set yourself a clear goal. Be mindful of what it is that you want for yourself and start taking the action steps necessary to move you forward with that. Be in the present. So here's another thing I like to talk about. You've got past, you've got present, you've got the future. Too many of us are living in the past. I'm living in the future. And forget that in this very moment is called the present. It's the gift. And it is our only reality. And as you're listening to me right now and wherever you are situated in the world, this is your only reality. What I said five minutes ago, don't ask me to repeat. I couldn't tell you. And what will happen in five minutes from now is not here yet. So keep that in mind that when you stay in today for today, I have what I need. And if I don't have what I need, I can work on it tomorrow. But be in the present. Look to the past to find your strength. Because that strength has been evident in the challenges and circumstances that have proved to you that you're perfectly capable of keeping your journey and life going of showing up for you, even if it's been damned hard in the process. Here's another big piece of this pay attention to your body. You know we hold our attention in our shoulders. Stomach problems, we get leg problems, we've got back problems, we get headaches, all of that stress related. For the most part, I know there's some underlying health issues, but many of our health issues can be taken care of by proper nutrition, some exercise, and generally taking better care of ourselves. Because when we ignore our bodies, our bodies rebel. Our bodies let us know that this sacred temple that we are living in is being ignored. So taking good care of your mind is also about taking care of your body and ultimately your spirit as well. Evaluate your level of control. As I mentioned earlier, control is somewhat of a mythology in itself, and this is from someone who calls herself a recovering control freak. I absolutely understand control because I wanted to keep my life safe. And when you grow up with chaos. It's very easy to think that if I just make sure everything's fine. I'll be okay. But there's only so much you can control. And letting go is a big piece of that. And again, coming back to being in the present with it. And because I was such a big control freak, I disempowered people around me, because I wouldn't let them take over. I couldn't do it as well as I could. And I've been married for 43 years and I have four children in my life. And every single one of them will tell you, yeah, she's a control freak. She likes to do it her way. But I've had to learn how to give some of that up, because that's how we are going to survive. Look for opportunities to empower yourself. What does that mean? Well, think about it. You are thinking about ways that you can actually take charge of your life. Make decisions in your life that are about you. Not about anybody else. Here's the other thing about evaluating your level of control. One of the things that we do when we're insecure is we look to others for validation. We know other people to validate you based on their priorities or based on their perception of you. You're giving up your power. So one of the ways in which we can evaluate our level of control is to ask yourself, where am I giving my power away? Where do I need other people's validation for me to feel good about myself? Where do I try to keep people happy all the time? And that's a big one, especially for women. Keeping people happy is not your responsibility. Take care, number one, and then everybody will be happy. Of course, many people will say, well, that's being selfish, but I would say no, it's about self care. And that's always an important piece of it. When you start feeling that you are starting to take control of your life, when you start feeling like there's a piece in here that is making some kind of forward motion for you. You're thinking differently. You're behaving differently. You're taking better care of your body. You're making time for you. You're not making excuses for your existence. And by the way, excuses are fear driven. So don't apologize for who you are. Don't apologize for whatever is that you're doing. And when you start to feel strength in that, then you can start to build momentum around it. Think about momentum. As we know, once it gets going, it's hard to get it to stop. If you think about the old game where you had these metal balls that went back and forth, back and forth, you just dropped one and the whole stream went there. That's energy. That's how it works. And it's important to create that momentum. When you start the machine running around, I'm changing my thinking and my behavior. I'm no longer focusing on the fear because I understand that fear is imagination based. And that if I can control my reaction to those fears, that is when it turns into success, because I'm using that fear as an opportunity to do something different. I'm courageous in the way in which I'm showing up and I'm saying no to certain things, and I'm asking for what I want in other ways too. And don't get me started for women specifically on this call about asking for what you want, because too many times you ask for permission before you ask for what you want. And I know this because I used to do the same stuff. And now of course I've learned that that doesn't get you anywhere. So learning how to make better decisions, learning how to be in your power, ask for what you want, speak up. And don't hold yourself back because you're afraid of loss, rejection, humiliation, judgment, criticism. It's all part of life, in effect. But when we diminish ourselves because we don't want to feel those things, again, you're living in the small space, instead of living in a bigger space, because resilient as you are. And all of that. What's the worst thing that's going to happen? Somebody doesn't like you. Yeah, you'll get over it. Something doesn't go the way that you want to. Let's talk about fear of failure, by the way, because I didn't cover that in here, but I do want to touch upon this fear of failure is the biggest fear that I hear over and over and over again. And what is failure? And I want you to take note of this. We are all failing our way to success and failure is very simple. It's a choice, a decision or an expectation that did not go the way that you had planned. I'm going to repeat that one. Failure is simply a choice, a decision or an expectation that did not go the way that you had planned. Period. The worst failure, of course, is the failure to try to use that courage that you've developed, that resilience within you to test something out. And I'm challenging you right now to test speaking up for yourself, to test taking a new attitude, to test being a little bit out of control. Because that's where you find the courage, and that's where you find that the fears are an illusion. Remember, I said back when fear is imagination based. Because it is. It's the stories that we make up. And if you want to be the author of your own life, then you will want to take charge of that particular way of being. This is important. We must begin. You cannot just think about it. You can think about it and then you can think about what actions you're willing to take to get that momentum going. It's not enough just to sit around wishful thinking. Wishful thinking doesn't get us anywhere. What action making action does and even in the smallest possible ways. That's where we find the courage and the changes that we need to make. People will come to me and I'll say how do I get to be more confident. And I go, well, little by little to step forward one step back. I will continue to fail until you get comfortable being uncomfortable. And I said that earlier. But nothing happens, nothing changes. If you don't want to get uncomfortable, but let's face it, most of us are living in a discomfort zone anyway. Insecurity. Not really being able to step it out. It's like a difference for you in the world. And the quality of your life is determined by how comfortable you can be being uncomfortable. So what can you do today? Look for an opportunity to express yourself more authentically. Okay, what is the word authentic mean? Who are you? How do you want to show up in the world? What is it that's important to you? What kind of relationships do you want to have? What kind of job do you want to have? Are you settling for less? Or are you actually looking for opportunities to do things differently? That's the opportunities that are waiting for you to show up and be you. Too many people go to work and they put a mask on, they go through that door and suddenly, well, whoever they were at home, it's not the person they were at work. And this work has expectations of how you should behave and how you should be, and you have to fit in. I've never been one for fitting in myself because frankly it was like putting a, you know, square peg in a round hole. And that's basically how I've seen it. And I've been very fortunate. I've lived a very unconventional life, traveled the globe, raised my family, wrote books, made music, did all kinds of stuff. And I really came to this job when I was in my mid fifties. So here I am in my seventies and I've been doing this a while now, but each time was a redefining and regenerating a rejuvenation or a rebirth of different kinds. I've done many, many transitions in my life. I created my program, Transformational Strategies for Success, based on everything that I had gone through in my lifetime. And now I can help others understand how to do that, only it doesn't take decades. It can be done in months, if you have the way and the will to do so. I want you to start writing things down. Here's one of the things that I do every day and I absolutely guarantee it has an impact. Gratitude. Let's talk about gratitude for a moment. What are you grateful for? Every day there's something to be grateful for. Many people there's something to complain about, but let's not complain. Let's be grateful for people, for circumstances, even something simple like it's not raining today. I can be grateful for that. And I encourage all of my clients to keep a gratitude journal every day. They have to write out five things that they're grateful for. I really take it in. And then before they go to bed at night, they have to think about one thing that happened during the day that they could be grateful for as well. That gratitude goes a long way out into the universe, because it's energy, and we're all connected with that energy. Now it used to be that, you know, us so-called left-coast folks were all woo-woo, but I truly believe, and I've lived all over the globe, there is a universal force at work, and we're all connected to it. So you have a choice on how you wish to live with that, and what you wish to manifest. Now, again, that might sound like a woo-woo word. However, what you put out is kind of like the old karma thing, you know, what you put out is what you get back. So put out the good stuff. And gratitude is a very big piece of that. Look at who you need to support you, because here's the other thing about change and dealing with our fears. You need some kind of mirror out there. You need somebody to listen to you and compassionately give you the support that you need. And that doesn't mean sitting around whining at somebody and want to do that. You're not a victim. And if you think you're a victim, you've got to change that attitude right there, because nobody's a victim, unless you choose to be. Find the support you need. It's all kinds of programs that the library offers. That's one kind of support. And if it's individual support you need, then go find somebody that will make a difference to help you start on that journey to make the changes that you want to make. And look at what resources you have already, because I have a feeling that if you really looked around you, you would say, well, I've already got a good amount of friends who I can talk to. Or I have some mentors at work who care about me. Or there's some other professional in your life that is there for you when you need it could be in your religious institutions. You have to look around and see who's there. And again, if you need help, go ask. And that's the last one what resources do you need. I'm going to get a copy of these slides and a PDF and I want you to go back through it again if this this presentation today has made any difference to your life whatsoever and I have no control over that all I can do is give you the information that I have. But go through the slides or go through the PDF from this the information on these slides, start asking yourself the hard questions and come up with some clear answers on what works for you. And here we are. This is this is what I truly believe. When you believe in yourself, you will be unstoppable. I learned how to believe in myself after a very, very difficult journey. I said to you I gave you the early part of my history also was an AA for five years before I realized that it wasn't about the drinking. It was about the stinking thinking. That's what it was, and I found my relief, because I had two children and then I went on to have three more. And by the time I was pregnant with the third one. I was ready to say it was time for me to clean up my act. And I started looking for help getting the support I needed. I'm really working my way through the drama and the chaos and the trauma of my early life. And all the things that I had done to self abuse myself along the way, because I really didn't like myself at all. And I was living mostly in fear, but through my children who I decided to be as good a mother as I could be to them. And then a stepdaughter and then another daughter who is now my youngest and I'm fortunate that I have a great relationship with all of my children now. My oldest is 48, my youngest is 32, and they're all doing their lives in their own way. And in the space of one generation, I have changed family dynamics. And I could not have done that if I did not believe that it was possible and work through the garbage that had been the early part of my life and my thinking and my behavior to do the work that I now do and why I'm here with you today. You're full of infinite possibilities, if you believe in yourself and your ability to succeed. And these are the messages I want you to take away from me today, because truly I want to inspire you and motivate you to really take your own life in your hands. And know that you are in charge of it and can do with it, whatever you please, and don't let anyone else tell you otherwise, because they're running their agenda, not yours. No one can stop you from becoming who you want to be. No one. Unless you allow them. And have that vision of what the better you can look like. And most of all take action every day to follow your dreams to really make that future that you think is possible. And don't get into the idea of well that'll never happen. Because it can, if you really want it. If you're willing to do the work to keep showing up for you, keep questioning that that limited thinking, keep looking at that fear and how it undermines your ability to show up in the best possible light of who you are. I understand that the stories that you tell yourself for the most part are not true. If you've got a lot of negative stuff going on, I can guarantee you that this is not who you really are. There's a whole lot more to you than that. Fear being fearless is not the absence of fear for the courage to take the next step, because fear matters to your success when you allow it to be your driver for growth. Thank you for listening to me today. It has been my pleasure. And any questions you have now. I'm open for that. Keep moving. I haven't been any questions there have been a lot of comments would you like to hear. People are appreciating your quotes. If you aim small you get small, where's failure is the failure to try. And somebody is encouraged by your advice and will is going dancing after, after bad breakup. Another quote that was appreciated, getting comfortable with being uncomfortable in. Thank yous. Very relatable presentation very empowering. Lots of thanks yous, Jacqueline. Well, it's my pleasure and I'm just happy you're all here and you know if any of this makes sense to you if it makes any difference to the way in which you're thinking about yourself thinking about your life thinking about the ways in which you can engage more meaningfully with this journey that we call life. This is really all it is at the end of the day. So anything that I've said to you today if you can take even one nugget away from this last 45 minutes of speaking to you. I've done my job, and you're doing yours because you're paying attention. All right, lots of thank yous. The great example your this program is a great example of the wonderful resources available at the library. That's great. That's great. And another, another appreciating your, your nuggets. Well, we're going to be back again next month with turning your tomorrows into today. So if you have any problems with procrastination. I'm going to be talking about that next month. Well, I'm going to invite you back to hear what I have to say on that particular subject, because we all procrastinate one way or another. And how do we stop doing that. Or how do we do it creatively, because that's another side of procrastination. So I hope you'll come back and listen for that. We have a question Jacqueline. How does one keep finding unique things to add to a gratitude journal. What are some small examples. Okay, so when I think about my gratitude from today, for instance, I had some great conversations yesterday. I thank the person that I had the conversation with in my gratitude journal, because I had gained something from that. I was thankful that my house was warm this morning, because it was kind of cold outside. I'm thankful that I have a new client, because that keeps me in business, which is something always to be noted. I'm thankful that my body is strong and healthy. Which I try to mark myself on a book. I mean, when if you go through my library here, there's a whole bunch of journals on one of these shelves. And I don't know who's going to read them at any point. In fact, my kids, after I go will probably look at them and go, what would you keep it all this shit for. And at the same time, it's me identifying for myself. What is that matters to me. So that's that's the best advice I could give you, you can find gratitude and everything. Everything. Birds in the tree. The blossoms, we're in blossom time. Beautiful blossom trees out there. I can step outside my front door. There's two big trees out there that are white right now. They're beautiful. I'm grateful for them. Here's another question. What do you do when you strive for excellence, but you find resistance in those who claim to love you. That is always a challenge right there. So here's one of the things I say, don't stop striving for excellence just because someone else limits themselves, which is the pushback you're getting. It's a threat. You're going to be so much more than I am. That's their insecurity. Keep striving for excellence because when you reduce yourself down to, I'm going to take some care somebody else's feelings. That's a problem. Because again, you're diminishing yourself. Do not diminish yourself because somebody else is insecure. Somebody else is fearful. Somebody else cannot cannot imagine being as big as you. We should all be striving for that excellence. And by the way, if you've got perfectionist tendencies, watch out for it. Because sometimes what happens is we've got such high standards for ourselves, the excellence. You know, I like to say perfectionism is the enemy of excellence, but we should all be striving to be as good as we can be. She says she's a product of a tiger mom. Yes, yes. It's hard. All I will say is it's hard. I was the opposite kind of mother. I was like, get the hell out of here. Go find your own way. Be independent. You know, I had an out of out of mind out out of sight out of mind attitude about my kids. So the tiger mom wants to just kind of hold on to it. Insecurity. She loves you. She really wants the best for you. Just gotta let go a little bit. And you can help her do that. You can help her do that gently, compassionately. Thank you. But I have to keep moving. Does that help? Is that a useful answer? She's saying yes. Terrific. Yeah. Okay, I think that's it. We have one more. How do you regain and keep your power when you have to continue to have certain people in your life that still judge and manipulate and impose fear? And thank you for that question because it's a really important question. People in your life who are toxic. Limit your time with them. If their family. Limit your time with them. If there are people in your life that you can live happily without. Move on. Move on. But when you have to be with them, limit your time with them and don't engage in the reactionary behaviors that you get from those kind of relationships. Again, I'm speaking from experience. I don't have anybody in my life. I don't want there at this point in my life. And that's where you want you to go to. I want to be able to bring in all the good stuff. I want to be able to bring in all the good stuff. Yeah. Patrick says yes. Totally agree. Love it. All right, people. I know we're at the top of the hour. So thank you. Thank you. Thank you for being here today. This has been marvelous. I really enjoyed my time with you. Thank you for your questions. And please go forward. Be fearless. See where it gets you. And I'll see you at the next program on the 20th of April at the same time for 30. All right. Good night, everyone. Thank you for coming.