 Hi everybody. This is Roseanne and Jenny with Mindset Mondays. We are on Facebook Live right now and my phone is growing up. And welcome to our podcast listeners for the first time as well because we're going to be releasing this as a podcast episode. And so we will have a multitude of things going on and helping people in two different places this week. Today we are going to be talking about Ask Yourself Why. And before we do that I want to tell you a little bit about Jenny and I. We both work for the alcohol-free lifestyle programs. I am an enrollment coach and a customer journey coach or client journey coach within something called Project 90 which is a 90-day quit alcohol program. And Jenny is a community manager for something called the 30-day no alcohol challenge. Both of us actually started in the 30-day challenge and both of us ended up hopping on board Project 90 and both of us find ourselves working here with people having fun. And I think we can I can speak to both of us as I say we probably have some of the best jobs in the world because we watch people just transform their lives in such a short period of time. I am going to have Melanie who is in the background post my personal two-minute story. We are working on getting Jenny's but if you want to know a little bit about my journey it will be posted in the Facebook live event and I think we are ready to start asking ourselves why. I am going to talk about I think a lot of us for those of us listening we have probably given ourselves a lot of whys but if you are really considering starting this journey with intent there needs to be a deep reason for the why that you keep in mind as you walk through this journey because you need to have something to look forward to. And both Jenny and I thought it would be a great way to share this with our personal whys. We each have a different why and hopefully you can connect with one of them. For me I am a I guess three years divorced. A lot of my drinking dealt with my sadness during my marriage and feeling lonely. And as I as I kind of realized this life that I needed to navigate post divorce I needed to ask myself who I was and who I wanted to be and who I wanted to hang out with. I think we are born to have a relationship with other people. And so as I thought through like who do I want to be connected to with my life and the future who do I want to be. I recognized that I didn't want to be with anybody who was like me because it wouldn't be fun. It wasn't like I didn't like me at the time. I drank too much and I partied too much and I you know what I mean. And with this in the back of my mind like I really shouldn't be drinking. I really shouldn't be doing this. I really could be doing something else. So my why was opening up the world to a different possibility about who I was and who I could be. Jenny what was your why? Yeah thanks Suzanne. My why was probably equally big and also relationship based. My husband Clive as some of you know died of cancer last May after a five year struggle which was quite old consuming. And after he died I knew that I was going to have to find some way of just filling that quite big gap in my life really and rebuilding my life. One of the last things Clive said to me before he died just a couple of days before he died was Jenny keep going and he knew there would be a hold in my life. And I knew that if I didn't find a way of filling it and find something that was purposeful and meaningful for me I would just end up filling that hole with our couple and I could see the dying would spiral in front of me and I didn't want that. So I was really looking for something to keep me going as Clive asked me to. So double motivation there really something that would honour him and something that would give me meaning as I moved into a very uncharted territory for me facing life without him. So I'm curious though with that explanation if you had a moment where you struggled with the trigger what was going through your mind about your why? Do you think of a time where you just had to remind yourself of the why? I wrote it down actually when I joined Project 90 which I joined it came for me at the perfect time I joined Project 93 weeks after Clive passed away and one of the first things you do is write down your why's and I actually wrote mine down on paper because that for me made it more real more tangible. I actually dug out what I wrote and I wrote I want to find a new purpose for the next stage of my life and step out into the world to go kill it. And you know what here I am almost eight months after all three and that is starting to come true for me. I mean James has given me the honour of being the community manager for the 30-day alcohol challenge. Best job in the world for me I've only been there a couple of weeks and I love that community. I remember reading somewhere that if you want to find your purpose look look for where your heart is breaking. In that community my heart breaks on a daily basis when I see people try, fall, get up again, try, fall again, get up again. The community the support in that community is wonderful everyone's supporting each other but it breaks my heart to see people in the position that I was in before I was able to tackle my alcohol problem just not able finally to crack it. And you know once you have a why in front of you it's so much easier to see yourself through to the other side because you've got something to aim for not just something to run away from. Right that's so important and Jenny I want to stop for a moment and because our format's a little bit different and we have our podcast listeners as well I want to ask the Facebook live participants and we're getting a great following Jenny. Maybe one day we'll go viral so keep posting and saying hi and where you're from and ask a question whatever we're going to save that for the end and say hi to you and ask questions but you want to just run through content and then address everybody but we do love hearing from everybody and knowing who's who's here so feel free to say hi. Yeah Jenny that is such a a good point and that is something that we I think we all get stuck with. We get stuck in the past and we get we allow I think our paths are important to our lessons and learning and and things but I know along my journey I've learned about looking forward I did a podcast with Danny and he is great at explaining it like yeah I may be I think I'm almost 11 months off the hall free as as I count in the past but this is day one of the rest of my life and where can I go and when you can get to look to that when you can get beyond that getting your body detoxed and really focusing on that why it's starting to see it it's like it's like a little train right that just that develops some momentum and the thing you want to give yourself is enough momentum to start seeing that the why is possible because don't you think at the beginning of the journey it's hard to see do you think I think I think it can be I think you know in the early days you're focused on on the physical stuff and sometimes your motivation at the beginning is I want to feel better I want to look better I want to be healthier I want to have more energy and those are all great things in and of themselves but sometimes they're not excuse me they're not enough motivation to keep you going and keep you going and and you know someone said at some point you've got to stop focusing on what you're running away from and look at what you're running towards I think she said you've got to run towards a bigger yes and for me it was that bigger picture of of all I had the potential possibly to be calm if I was always showing up as the best version of me it was that bigger picture that that's what keeps me going really you know I do like to think I look better I'm I'm I'm feeling so much better I have much more energy much more focus much more clarity all those things but I just need to have that that bigger thing that makes me feel I get up in the morning and maybe just maybe today I'll do something that impacts on someone else's life in a positive way um you know going to bed at night feeling you've been able to do that for me is it's just what keeps me going thinking about doesn't it seem this is I tell people this all the time it's so hard as an enrollment coach to go like the world seems so big right now doesn't the world seem bigger and like brighter and there's so much opportunity that I can barely like it's just like being filled up we have Warren I love Warren um what did he talk about it's like when he drank he describes it as um was it a parachute Jenny the parachute and the parachute had no air in it and it was just flat and deflated and now living an alcohol-free life it's like the parachute is filled with air and that air is ideas and energy and thoughts and positivity and like we want to go do you ever feel like that yeah one of one of the exercises that I first did when I was starting on this journey was the the future self visualization where you visualize where you might be in a year or two years or five years time alcohol-free uh compared with where you might be in that same time scale if you're not alcohol-free and what would your future self say say to you know and I think it's the wonderful Danny who always says your future self would thank you so much for the decisions that you make because the hard work that you do today right exactly and and it is a day at a time and you can only take it a day at a time because we only have a day at a time but I think with that bigger picture of what might be possible in the future it's hard to stick to that day at a time um and the two go together you know live in the now enjoy the present make the most of your present and you'll do that when you're alcohol-free but but just have that that being that opportunity that that vision to look forward to because that's what's going to keep you on track in the longer term in in my experience anyway it is um and I just you know you hear that term one foot in front of the other and it's so relative to this journey and just having faith that there is another side I just I just recently like now that I gave you my why and just we have a situation that happened in the last oh I think you should tell us all about this result this is rather fun I got permission to tell it too so I I actually had a date I have lots of dates and they're all disasters like complete disasters and like three dates and you're out and um but this particular date was interesting uh and he I told him what I did and you know you have to talk I think about the alcohol thing when you're dating or I don't know I find like I I do and we went off-roading and we were just having a a fun time and I said hey on my project 90 we do these things called Marco Polo videos and I go do you want to do it he's like oh yeah like all right you're already cool and he did a Marco Polo with me and I was able to go look at us we're having fun on our first date with no alcohol but anyway I we had a second date and um and he said to me you know I love the fact that you don't drink alcohol but I hate the fact that you don't drink alcohol too and I'm like why and he was like I don't know I just have this association with um you know maybe a vacation or the pool and having a margarita or my tie or whatever and I'm like well you can have that I'm not stopping you and he goes I and I said well why do you love the fact and he goes well I've just been involved with too many women that are just heavy drinkers and I just think at our age you know you want to just focus on health and you know you don't want to be with somebody who's drunk all the time and so um then we had a third date and we ended up doing a dinner party together where he ended up having a couple of sips of wine like a half or a quarter glass of wine and we both drank the same um what was it uh mocktail I suppose it was uh sparkling water with plum juice and it kind of looks like wine you can make it fancy you know but he was drinking that with me and then after that date he said I changed my mind I love the fact that you don't drink it was just I had so much fun with you and he what happened was here's the interesting thing he found it liberating to not feel like he had to drink so understand you guys like when you're going out with all your friends and feeling like you have to drink everybody else is feeling the same way and if you can be the one that's like the non-drinker you're setting the example right and that's how I felt about that situation like he confirmed that this is cool now because you don't drink I don't have to feel this pressure that I have to drink don't you think that's interesting I think that's brilliant I can't follow that story was um there's nothing that interesting happening in my love life I don't know where this is going but you know it's just nice confirmation that you know again one foot in front of the other there is this contingency of people especially the older you get that doesn't want to be involved with that drunkenness and hangover and you know what I mean a lot of secrets involved with that all right well let's start saying hi to everybody shall we I think Liz said hi the hey Liz you're now said hi hey Chanel Liam said hi if I'm pronouncing that correctly he's our you're our our regular follower you're our hey Julio how are you from Chicago awesome and Virginia oh no Wanda from Virginia well you have this is awesome where's the UK people Jenny where's yeah it's because it's half 10 in the evening every sensible person's in bed I think Melanie told us we might have a question actually Roseanne okay we'll wait for the question Jamie how long does it take you to feel like you were detoxed and what did you go through do you want me to go first on that Roseanne and then you could be awesome yeah um really good question um the the sort of caveat I suppose is it is different for everyone for me the first two or three days were really bad and I kind of stayed in bed from most of it but you know what once you get the first week under your belt you start to feel good I think it takes about seven to ten days to get alcohol completely on your system so once you get through that first week you will start quite quickly to feel better um if you're really concerned about it do go to your doctor because they can give you medication which will help take the edge of withdrawal symptoms in the first few weeks and the added advantage of that is when you're on that medication you absolutely cannot drink so it might help you through as well um sleep for me was the thing that took a lot longer to sort itself out but I'm getting there now and I'm not even going to start on sugar cravings and chocolate addiction but you know don't worry eat what you like just don't pick up a glass with my advice Roseanne yeah I was and this is a good example of everybody's different so I had that fear of covid coming in and my health and remember was it last week or the week before we were talking about 100 versus 99 so for me the first three days to a week were easy because I was laser focused and scared and like my mindset was good and then then you have a little like oh wait why did it get hard because you want every day to be an easy day but I think in project 90 first of all most people if if you are to a point where you believe you need doctors medication that's probably the point where we don't handle that um yeah that's a separate route but most people in project 90 inside 30 days and I'd say before that three weeks you're like wow what what day is it 20 2018 like you know I find a very consistent pattern to um to that don't you Jenny when you see people at about 18 they're like I think for a lot of people things start to click around about week two week three and what has been a struggle can become something that is just a bit more straightforward both physically and mentally that said it really took me the whole 90 days of project 90 to feel that I was pretty solid on the path I had done the 30 day challenge first of all and when I got to about day 23 of that I thought I'm getting there but I'm still I'm still that little chick that's just little chick I'm not a little chick but you know the little chick that's just broken out of its its shell and and I'm a little unsteady still um but by the time I got three months on my belt I knew I was solid um so it will come be patient with yourselves books it will come yeah and as far as inside project 90 what we do is um you know we definitely wait for that initial like we look at we ask people to make goals small achievable goals like we talked about maybe making your bed in the morning very achievable goals so you can feel the winds um but once you're through that okay I think I got this I think I got this it's like I think I can I think I can you know it means like yay I don't count days anymore it's like okay let's level up where else do you want to go like now that you got the drinking thing kind of handled right because we want to create enough winds after the 90 days when I talk in my enrollment calls they go here's the goal by the end of 90 days we want to say like how do you feel do you want to continue the alcohol free life and the answer should be hell yeah so you were you were pretty well uh a solid yes too right jenny yeah absolutely absolutely um no going back to me of that I'm beyond certain yeah well oh warren warren the parachute exactly he says the parachute is now filled with air every day thank you warren because I'm always going to use your examples I think there's a a telephone example oh thank Cassandra is saying our stories are inspiring great to hear hearing you're doing good yes there is another um there is the other side uh everyone and it's there for you if it was there for me I swear it's there for you we are clicking down on time so it's time to wrap up um I would like to uh tell you guys before we leave that we have the alcohol free lifestyle podcast if you'd like to listen to my story it's episode 19 jenny's story is episode 39 we have we are up to 61 or 62 uh uh 62 podcasts and that's a great way to just get some tips and stories and before and after inspirations um also to learn more about what's happening in project 90 um thanks for listening to us on the podcast and for being here live with us on facebook live uh we will if you're on facebook live I'm gonna put a link in below about how to contact me and schedule an appointment if you're interested in discussing further how project 90 could change your life I would love to talk to you about that if you are listening on our podcast and you would like to schedule a call with me or any of our other enrollment coaches go to www.jamesswahnwik and it's s-w-a-n-w-i-c-k dot com slash schedule and it's there where you answer some questions and you can pick a schedule um with me or some of the other coaches and talk more about project 90 jenny did I miss anything before we sign off until next week if anyone is interested in the 30 day challenge you can go to www.30daynoalcoholchallenge.com I've got that right and just quickly hi Sonja and hi Louise thanks for joining us yeah in terms of our 30 day program it's a great first step into the alcohol-free lifestyle it's a um more of a do-it-yourself approach but it'll support you for 30 days there's some videos there's a supportive community and there's Jenny cheering you on every single day every minute of every day at least okay guys until um next Monday at 2 p.m. Pacific time we'll see you then see you then bye folks thanks for listening to the alcohol-free lifestyle podcast I want to load you up with some free stuff right now so if you want to go to www.jamesswahnwik.com slash guide I will send you my quit alcohol guide which has helped six figure entrepreneurs and top professionals produce or quit drinking you can also text the word quit guide to the number 4422 if you're in the US of course it doesn't really work anywhere outside of the US but if you're in the US 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