 Okay, so today I'm going to be talking about a concept called beauty. And I'm not talking about the superficial beauty that you hear about in magazines, in the media, and on TV commercials. I'm talking about a depth of beauty. This kind of beauty that makes a man feel inspired to move mountains and travel to the ends of the earth to be with a woman. And makes you shine and makes you seem different than all the other women that a man has met. The kind of beauty that makes a man feel fall in love and do anything for a woman. That's the kind of beauty that I am going to be talking about today. If this is your first time to our channel, make sure that you go and hit the subscribe button. My name is Matthew Coast and welcome to Commitment Connection. And if you are really serious about getting into a great relationship with a strong, with a guy that sees you as a... And values you and treats you like an amazing woman, make sure that you go to thegoddiscommunity.com and consider joining our community there for free. Looks like we're having a little bit of a problem with the live stream for some reason here. So anyway, okay, I'm just going to continue on. So what is beauty? What is real beauty? What do men find incredibly beautiful? I think that this is something that all women should really know because it's something that really connects to a man's soul. It's how you connect, how you use your mind, your body and your emotions to really connect to a man and inspire him to be a better man. And make him want to do things that he normally wouldn't do because he's so kind of enamored by your beauty. And so there are five different traits here that we're going to be talking about. And if you are watching this right now, make sure that you say hello in the chat, as well as let us know where it is that you're watching this from because it's really awesome to see so many people all over the world watching these live streams. So the first one that we're going to be talking about is this idea of playfulness, right? The beauty of playfulness, which is, love is playful, right? It's not serious. It's not, you know, focused. It's not logical. It's emotional and it's playful and it's fun, right? It's like how it's youthfulness. It's not being serious and not taking everything seriously and not going on a date and doing, you know, the interview question things, but just relaxing and having fun and being childlike and just enjoying your time with somebody, right? That is, that's playful. That's flirty. That's fun. That's beauty, right? Poking fun at yourself, poking fun at him, poking fun at life, you know, the world, people, you know, trying new things, getting out of your shell, you know, being willing to be silly and just stop taking everything so seriously and just having fun, right? That is playfulness and playfulness is very, very beautiful. And the cool thing about not just playfulness, but all of these different things that men find beautiful is that it creates these deeper, stronger connections to life. It creates relaxation. It gets rid of anxiety and it makes you feel really, really good about yourself and everything that's going on. So the second part of beauty that we're going to be talking about is the idea of self-love or self-esteem. And so self-love is about valuing yourself. It's about appreciating yourself, treating yourself well, taking care of your body, your skin, your health, eating well, exercising, getting sleep, you know, taking care of yourself, valuing yourself, right? A lot of women kind of, I've talked to a lot of women who aren't really sure, they don't really understand the ideas of self-love, of self-esteem. And it's really about just making sure that you are getting your needs met from all the way from, you know, your health and taking care of your body. This thing that you have for your entire life, the only vessel that you're experiencing the world through is this body. And making sure that you take care of it. And it's so incredibly attractive to men when you do take care of it. When you make sure that you're not only taking care of your body, but you're also making sure that you have boundaries, right? So you're taking care of your own needs. You're taking care of your life. You're taking care of everything, right? It can kind of anger some men at first, but they have to respect you for it. Because, you know, you might end up with super aggressive dudes that, you know, try to push past your boundaries. But you always have to make sure that you're holding to them because it shows that you value yourself. And you're serious about valuing yourself and that you're not going to let somebody kind of push through your level of value for yourself just because that man's attractive or whatever, right? And that's valuing yourself. That's loving yourself. That's having high self-esteem. So basically, you want to start from a place of believing that you're valuable and you're worthy of a great life and a great man being in your life. And when a guy is around a woman who really loves herself and really values herself, it's incredibly, incredibly attractive, right? So other aspects, here's some evidence that you value yourself, you love yourself, you respect yourself, you have high self-esteem is you accept compliments genuinely. You set boundaries. You are willing to walk away from situations and men that aren't serving you. You don't put him on a pedestal, right? Or let him walk all over you, which is basically making sure that you maintain your boundaries, right? Not sleeping around. And remember that whoever is strongest in their beliefs passes those beliefs to the people around them, right? This is the concept that you need to remember. If you believe that you're valuable, if you love yourself, if you think that you deserve love and you deserve to be treated well and you really, really believe it, then you will pass that belief off to the people that are around you and they will start believing it as well and they will start acting in accordance with that belief because most people don't have very strong beliefs. They're looking around the world to find how they should be behaving and what they should believe and what's going on. And so if you're confident in your belief and your value and what you deserve in the world, then other people will start to treat you in accordance to that. Okay, the third one is having a positive attitude. And there's nothing less attractive than a woman who is angry at all men and negative about relationships. And we get a lot of these women sometimes in our comment section where they're just like, oh, all men are just sleazebags and pigs and dirt balls and all they want is sex and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And that is incredibly unattractive. If you want a man to run away from you as quickly as possible, have attitudes like that. If you want to push away all of the quality men that are around and only attract those kinds of men that are willing to put up with somebody that thinks that way, then just keep that attitude. If you want to attract quality men, if you want men of quality who are valuable men to feel like you are valuable and beautiful and amazing and high quality, then you need to switch your attitude around, right? Just creating a life that you love and experiencing feeling good a lot, right? That is very, very attractive. It's very, very beautiful to men. The more positive that he feels when he's around you, the more that he'll want to be around you more often, right? And there's this kind of methodology out there called push-pull, right, where it's kind of like this manipulation kind of technique where you do kind of give somebody a compliment and then you pull it back, right? And you go through kind of these negative and positive emotions, which kind of messes with a person's brain. Well, you don't really need to do that from a manipulation standpoint, right? If you are really making a guy feel good when he's around you and then when you're not around, all of a sudden he goes back to his regular life, which a lot of people live lives where there's a lot of negativity around them, then he's going to kind of, he's going to lose that feeling, right, of that positivity and he's going to look forward to seeing you again, he's going to miss you again and, you know, all those things. And so you don't even necessarily need to do a bunch of like manipulative stuff when you're around a guy because just making him feel good when he's around you is enough to make him miss you and to make him want to be around you and to make him feel addicted to your presence. And so one was playfulness. Two is self-love and self-esteem. Three is positive attitude. Four is, and if you guys, if you're watching right now and you understand you get what it is that I'm talking about here, make sure that you say, I get it in the chat. Say I get it in the chat, so I know that you know what I'm talking about and if you don't get what I'm talking about, make sure that you ask a question about it. So the next one is an idea called compassion, right? And this is kind of coming from a heart center, right? It's feeling, it's being connected to your heart so that you can feel other people in the world and yourself and everything that's around you. And a woman that comes from a space of being compassionate is so incredibly attractive and a lot of people don't really get this idea and some people get it kind of conceptually. I had a client one time and we used to talk about this idea because I can't remember exactly what the situation was that she was in but she was in some kind of situation and I was talking to her about being compassionate for the guy that she's with because she wasn't being compassionate at all and I was talking about what being compassionate looks like, right? It's getting into what's going on with him and seeing what's going on with him and putting yourself into his shoes and getting him and being on his side and not being stuck in your own pain and your own sadness and your own anger, right? We all have those things and we all experience those things but getting stuck in those things is what prevents you from really being compassionate because it makes it so that you're so kind of filled up with your own anger and your own pain and your own kind of judgments about what's going on in the world that you're unable to experience other people fully and so if you're not able to do that, what you want to go do is do some healing work and heal some of those past wounds that you have so that you can come into a space of compassion and you can really be on a man's side and you can be filled with love and innocence and softness when you're around a man because that is one of the most beautiful and amazing things and attractive things that a man can possibly experience in his life because most of the people for most men, most of the people that he meets in his life are people that have no compassion and they're stuck in their own anger and their own selfishness and their own kind of issues and problems and they're just waiting for their own turn to speak and they're just doing all that kind of stuff most people are in that kind of a space and so when you come from a space of compassion and you can really feel him and you can feel yourself and you can connect with him and you can show him that you're on his side that can be an incredibly powerful thing that makes him feel loved and cared for in a way that he may not feel with anybody else that's in his life and so number five is passion it is experiencing passion and basically passion is about caring deeply about something even if it's just about life in general so it doesn't necessarily need to be about something very specific although it can be and emotion is incredibly attractive right you've probably experienced this as well right like when you see a guy that's really kind of passionate about life and passionate about things that are going on it's like wow like that's cool right you experience these emotions and most people that you go and walk around and talk to they don't experience a lot of emotion outside of like watching TV shows or watching movies or doing something where they are passively experiencing different emotions by watching it through kind of entertainment means and so when you actually have emotion and it's fun you know like there's a woman that was talking about this not too too long ago I think it was on one of our live streams where she was talking about how guys like crazy women which there is some truth to that right because guys can't like they experience that emotion of this woman like jumping all over the place and it's interesting it gets his attention right however men don't like to stay with crazy women they don't really that's not beautiful it's like you know just this crazy wild thing that guys sometimes get stuck you know sucked into but anyway I'm going off on a tangent here the point is that positive emotion is incredibly powerful and passion is one of the most powerful positive emotions that you can possibly have there's a lot of peas in that sentence believing so basically it's believing in something caring deeply about something loving something that shows a feminine side to you that can be incredibly attractive to men and so that's five I actually have a sixth one I said that it was five in the original because it's cool to have the number five in the title of what you're talking about but I actually have six here I actually have six here six is polarity and polarity is something that I was actually talking to this guy that I met some dude randomly today and we were talking about the idea of polarity in life these are the kinds of conversations that I have with normal people so the idea of polarity is if you want to attract a masculine man connect with your feminine energy if you want to attract a feminine man connect with your masculine energy and polarity is beautiful it's really powerful and it can actually be really powerful and this is kind of more of an advanced thing but it can be really powerful inside of itself like a masculine energy man showing emotion or showing his feminine side through this kind of container of him being a masculine man can be incredibly attractive like a lot of women say that it's really attractive it can be the same thing with a woman being inside of her feminine and you know kind of having this container of being feminine and then using kind of different masculine aspects inside of this container of being feminine which if you don't really understand what I'm talking about when I say that just don't even worry about it but polarity is beautiful right being in the middle is not it's boring it's dull being in the middle is just it doesn't get any attention it doesn't get any love it's boring and the polarity creates a lot of passion in a relationship and if you really want to connect with a man and you want him to kind of see you and experience kind of this beauty in you connect with your f... if you're trying to connect with a masculine man connect with your feminine side and if you're trying to connect with a feminine man or masculine side and I've seen both work so you know you shouldn't hate on feminine men or masculine women because it's you know it works for them if they're into that and I've seen it work I know friends I have friends that are in marriages where they're experiencing that and so those are the six that I wanted to talk about today after I get done re going over this I'm going to do a question and answer so if you have any questions about anything I've talked about or your situation in general make sure that you put your question in the chat and make sure you actually ask a question I've had some women that have kind of just put statements in there and so I have no idea what you're if you don't have a question it's going to be hard sometimes for me to answer it without it actually being a question and so the six things that really men find stunningly beautiful in women is number one playfulness number two is self love and self esteem number three is a positive attitude number four is compassion number five is passion and number six is polarity and so again if if you're really serious about getting into an amazing awesome relationship with a great quality man make sure that you go and check out thegoddiscommunity.com you'll also get a free copy of my program the forever woman which is all about how to really get into a relationship where a guy values you and loves you and thinks of you as a woman that he wants to be with forever so go check out that there are links in the description you can also go to eitherthegoddesswoman.com or theforeverwomanformula.com either one of those will get it okay so let's see what people are saying in the chat today hello hello hello hello UK, California Florida, Santa Monica Kenya, wow so far away Texas, Oklahoma, New York Lynn says hello Matt I just love your chats well thank you very much Helena Hart says hi Matt love this topic oh thanks Helena I you know I think Helena could say some really amazing things on this topic right now too bad we don't have her on the live stream Helena we want you on one of our live streams can we get you on our live streams you better say yes in the chat Helena because everybody wants to see you on the live stream we know it everybody loves Helena who doesn't love Helena nobody BunnyBunday says every time I try to find the goddess community I get redirected can you add a link yes there's a link in the description just go check that out or go to thegoddesscommunity.com Sambia New York Washington DC Jillian said thank you for answering my questions yesterday you're welcome Karen Young says great advice thank you you're welcome you are welcome aloha you get it you get it you get it you get it Maryland get it get it get it get it times infinity Singapore Denver, Colorado I miss old Denver it's where I lived most recently Linda says you are so right just like us we all want to be around positive friends but not negative ones that's right I'm a Libra this comes naturally okay do we have any questions here are there any questions no questions today Grace says Tammy says how do I begin to heal after a shattered heart so what you want to do is after you get your heart shattered what happens is it's kind of like getting your identity kind of broken up because when you're with another person it's like your identity is kind of mold together I'd use my other hand but I have to hold this phone with my other hand I'm going to get a a phone holder soon so that I don't have to do this anymore if I travel like this but anyway yeah how do I do the visual do the visual like this so if when you're with somebody and you guys are together it's like your identity is kind of merge and when somebody leaves it's like part of your identity gets kind of broken off and so what you have to do is you have to fill that space with with other things right fill it up with regaining your power back with creating a life that you really want to live with having friends with getting support there's also a portion to it where you just need some time and there's a portion where you need some time and there's a portion where you can do things about it one is shifting your focus right shifting your focus onto things that are healthy and make you live a better life there's like bugs flying around here I'm in Romania and there's lots of bugs everywhere in Romania so you know yeah I mean there's a lot of different things that you can do after your heart shattered and one of the most important things that you do is to kind of fill yourself back up and create a life that you love living and get around other positive people that want to lift you up and help you out and give you support and what it is that you're doing I actually created a program all about narcissists and I don't remember what it's called at the moment should I be embarrassed about that maybe I should all right Karen says how do empathetic women show their feminine side while trying to protect themselves without attracting narcissists that's a very interesting question so I mean you're going to be a narcissist narcissists are people that are very good at making other people feel very good initially and so it's one of those things without attracting narcissists when you open your heart up and you open yourself up you're going to attract all kinds of people one of them is going to be a narcissist instead of being like you shut myself down so I don't attract a narcissist a better thing for you to do would be to look for behaviors that are red flags that signal that something is toxic and that you don't actually want to be around a guy and so it's not about not attracting narcissists but it's making sure that people that are toxic for you are not being allowed in to your life and so you need to make sure that you have strong boundaries and that you know how to identify traits of somebody that has things that are potentially abusive in your future so that you don't end up in situations with those people oh Helena posted the link thanks Helena I appreciate that you're awesome Helena is my favorite she's my favorite person in the world Kelly C says this is the best Matt thank you so insightful you're welcome Carol says Matt where were you when I was younger I was your older brother trying to get to you to tell you what is going on in life but you know situations didn't allow me to and so now here I am you're an inspiration thank you so much I appreciate you saying that I appreciate you saying that Stephanie says due to my raising not only do I have to find out what a good or normal masculine man is supposed to look like it looks as though I am going to have to find out what a good feminine woman is yeah I mean it's the same with a lot of us I got into the dating industry back in like 2003 or 2004 something like that and I had no idea about any of this stuff back then and it took me years to figure out what a masculine man was to kind of get into my masculinity and become a masculine man and learn about you know femininity and feminine women and all kinds of stuff I did a lot of kind of studying on that for years and years and years and years it's really really interesting and important I think anyway Grace says yes we love her and love you too of course I'm glad you included me in there as well thank you for doing that Grace says such positive and empowering information awesome Jeanette says Virginia Beach here he said he was in a relationship but wanted to leave having difficulty leaving but sleep in separate rooms that sucks Cindy says can I guy change his perspective on marriage at some point in the relationship he says if you live each other why should we get married yeah so there's two things yes a man can change his opinion about getting married one that's one a woman who's our coach her name is Celine and she actually got into a relationship with a guy who originally didn't want to get married and eventually decided that he wanted to get married because Celine is so amazing and he felt so amazing around her that he felt inspired to marry her and give her a gift of him saying that he wants to be with her forever officially by marrying her and so absolutely men can change their mind on getting married at some point and two if you live with each other why should you get married exactly that's the next point that I wanted to bring up which is if you want to get if you really want to get married and it's something that you need and that you want and you live together you should consider moving out and you should consider getting out of the relationship if he's not willing to give you what it is that you want to have because marriage for a lot of people is more than just like oh we're going to be living together now that we're married and for a lot of women it's like it's a symbol it's a symbolism of two people doing more than just even committing themselves to each other for life it's a symbol of bond between two people becoming one instead of two people being separate from each other and so if you if marriage is something that you absolutely want one I would consider moving out because exactly what he's saying he's getting all of his needs met if you're living together and you know you're not getting your needs met which is that you want to get married and so that's something if you are smart you should be willing to you should lay down the law there and you should let him know that it's something that you absolutely want to have in your life otherwise it's something that you need to be willing to walk away from if he's not willing to do it if the relationship that you want to have is the most important thing and yeah he can a lot of guys end up like if he finds out that you're serious about it a lot of guys are like wait a second if it's that important to you I will give that to you as a gift because you're that important to me and if a guy is really serious about you and he really cares about you then he'll do that for you because he loves you and he wants you to be happy and to be fulfilled and satisfied with the relationship that you have God's girl says what if he's masculine and feminine I'm strong it's hard for me to be vulnerable and accept his love how can I learn to change this you learn to change it by doing it doing small things at a time and practicing getting into it on a continual basis and over time it will get easier and better and faster and it will still always probably struggle with it if you're struggling with it now but it over time will become easier and easier and easier for you to do until it's something that feels incredibly natural for you that's how you can learn to change it you can get routines get rituals around this so there's different ways that you can kind of get into your feminine energy I'm not the feminine energy expert so I'm sure that she'd be more than happy to jump on a live stream with me and we can talk about this in depth one of these days soon hopefully and we can talk about the ideas of how to kind of get into your feminine energy but one of the ways is to create rituals which can be different types of things like hanging out with animals having a bubble bath dancing it can be all kinds of different things that make you feel feminine and connect you with your body and your emotions and your heart Lisa says how do I change the dynamic I currently have with an alpha male when we met I was more of an alpha female and now I'm shifting into my feminine energy and I see him responding so what are you trying to change the dynamic into actually when women kind of start shifting into their own feminine energy men start shifting the way that they are as well into being more masculine and more kind of responsive and more kind of in alignment with that feminine energy that the woman has and it's the same with a lot of men a lot of times when men get into kind of a masculine energy women will respond to it with getting into feminine energy and it's there's kind of a dance to it and it's kind of this playful dance that men and women can sometimes have with each other which can be really really powerful Alice Cooper I'm beginning I'm good at being compassionate and working out others feelings emotional hyper path hyper empath hyper empath I think that's what that is what I find hard is valuing myself and having enough self love I you know and there's a bunch of different things here right and that's why it's important to kind of talk about each one of them because all of them are important right like being compassionate is important it's incredibly important for everybody in a relationship and you know as a woman like women tend to be a lot better at it than men are and it it you know when a guy sees that like sometimes it'll make him kind of like relax and feel better because it's like because like that dynamic of masculine and feminine energy when a guy is in his masculine and a woman is in her feminine it can be kind of this very relaxing thing for both people to kind of sit into and it feels really good because they don't feel like they have to be on their guards with each other anymore and yeah I mean valuing yourself and having enough self love is an important topic it can be a difficult thing to do Alice says I fear that I may often attract people who just want to use me yeah I mean there are definitely people out there that will just use another person but most people they don't want to do that and and at the same time if you don't value yourself and you don't have boundaries and you don't stick to them a lot of people will do it not because they're trying to be manipulative or hurtful or use you necessarily but because it's like you know they're just they're just getting their way and it's like it's just human nature you know we if we get something we take it you know and then we continue to take it and we want that other person to value themselves and to respect themselves and to do things that are in their own self interest but if they don't it's like you know what are you going to do about it there's only so much you can enable that or protect that before it's like okay well you know being a good person I want to do this with that person but they aren't willing to stand up and have respect for themselves and make sure that they aren't taking care of themselves and so they end up just getting hurt by a lot of people Grace says thank you mucho mucho okay Tammy says thank you Matt let me know if you remember this was a good start for me okay Karen said thank you Matt this was great advice you're welcome Jeanette says was flirting big time always texting till after we were intimate after second time he is busy and seldom texts and doesn't initiate texting what can I say to him to not go any further well I'm not sure what you're I'm not sure what you're saying Jeanette so fell for it was flirting big time always texting till after we were intimate after second time he is busy and seldom texts I don't think that's like a fell for it thing what can I say to him to not go any further I don't know what you're trying to do here that's what I'm missing I'm missing what you're trying to do here I don't understand what what can I say to him to not go any further means not go any further where Matt is serenading Helena I always serenade Helena she's my favorite person I always serenade anytime that I can I will serenade Helena Sarah says hello from Idaho cool Patrick says good point about just using push and letting pull take care of itself yeah Didi says what's good to eat in Romania there's there's sausages are amazing here they have this food that's made out of like cabbage rolls and sausage and polenta and it is it is amazing actually the food in Romania is like literally it's probably my favorite thing about the country is the food here it is incredibly hot I am it's so hot out here right now in Celsius it's like 36 37 degrees crazy hot I don't know what that is in Fahrenheit right now I'm I'm in Europe so I'm going by Celsius these days God's girl says I've always done things for myself I feel unuseful or lazy if I don't do things for him I like cooking for him I was told not to do this should I stop no I don't think it's a bad thing to cook for him and to do things for him relationships are give and take right it's not one person doing everything and the other person not doing anything but you want to make sure that you don't get stuck in a situation where you're giving giving and you're the only person that's investing in giving in doing things in the relationship and that's why Helena talks a lot about leaning back because what ends up happening is a lot of women they feel the same way and they you know get they're used to doing things for themselves and they're strong and independent and you know they get a lot into their masculine energy and so they're doing things all the time they have goals and they're used to doing things and taking care of people and you know being the type of woman that does everything and then next you know they're being taken for granted by some guy who's not investing in the relationship and so you have to make sure that you're not getting taken advantage of by your own accord and you need to make sure that you allow yourself to receive help from him and actually practice asking him for help and and making sure that you know you're not doing everything and allowing him to take on that masculine role in the relationship so that it's there's at least an even give and take going on Maynott says I'm all of these things and have compassion to spare well congratulations for that Maynott that's awesome Steely says that's so true my guy says he loves me because I love myself no matter what well that's sweet Jeanette says I fell for the his relationship with girlfriend was no good oh is he is he in a relationship and you thought that he wasn't in a relationship are you dating a guy that's in a relationship because I suggest that you don't do that that's a bad bad idea Stephanie says is human nature really that bad I don't know though is there some balance there with valuing yourself and finding people with stronger character yeah I mean absolutely it's just one of those things where it's not necessarily human nature that I'd say that is I'd say that there's a lot that you know we live in a very difficult world we live in a world where a lot of people are hurt we live in a world where women are hurting each other all the time and so most men and most women that you meet have a wall up and they're trying to protect themselves because they're afraid of getting hurt and they're just taking taking taking as much as they can or they're giving giving giving and they are trying to be a martyr by talking about how much giving and how awesome they are by giving and so we live in a world where there's a lot of a lot of takers out there that it's not that they necessarily want to hurt people but that they've lived in a world where the only way that they can get by is to take and to be selfish and to you know take advantage of whatever situation they possibly can and so it's not that they're bad it's just that that's what they're used to that's the only world that they know and they understand there's a game out there it's called the red black game and there's a bunch of different kind of companies and seminar groups that use this the one that I'm familiar with is a company called PSI seminars and if you play that game you'll learn a lot about how people intentionally hurt each other and it's really really interesting it's a real fascinating game if you guys have a PSI seminars around you you should go and check out that program because it's just that one game in and of itself is incredibly valuable just to watch it and see how most people are just they're taking or they're giving and they're being martyrs or whatever it's real interesting Dee Dee says I totally hear you people not having respect for themselves there are times I try to guide men into having respect but they are wet noodles such a turn off yeah I mean it's you can't really I was actually I was hanging out with some with another dating coach today I was hanging out with this guy who's a men's dating coach and we were chatting about this this idea right we're talking about kind of like the McTowell movement and a lot of the incels the involuntarily celibate guys that are out there and what can be done with them and one of the things that we talked about is how you can't really help them necessarily I mean you can give them a path but the path is already there for them to help themselves and as long as you're trying to do something to help them you're just enabling them to be weak for the most part and they usually don't get up on usually change doesn't happen by you being like hey here try to be better try to be stronger try to value yourself try to respect yourself change usually doesn't happen from that change usually happens when somebody feels so much pain that they're like I can't live with this pain anymore and I have to do something about it so they go out and they try to do a bunch of new things until they find something that either works or they completely give up all together and a lot of those and a lot of guys have given up so you can't really you can't force a guy to respect himself just like we can't force you to respect yourself and value yourself it's a path that you have to go on and you have to step up and do otherwise problems with it for the rest of your life and that's why it's so important for personal growth personal growth is in my opinion by far the most important thing that you can possibly do in your life is just continue to grow continue to work on things that are going on within yourself so that you can become the person who attracts the things that you want in your life we're talking about that too actually this concept where there's a lot of a lot of people out there there's all these people out there and they all want these really high standards and you can see it all over our chat boards and our YouTube channel and in our community and all over the place is you have all these people and in the men's communities and stuff it's all the same it's the same across the board on the men's side and on the women's side you have all these people and they have they keep raising their standards for the kind of person they want to be with but the problem is is they're not raising their standards for themselves they're just raising their standards for the other person right and it was it was this thing I was talking about yesterday in the live stream where I was talking about this guy that I know that wants he was telling me the last time I was hanging out with him that he only wants to date women who have been working on he's in his I think he's in his fifties or something and he only wants to date women who have been exercising and taking care of their bodies for at least the last 20 years you know and you look at him and you're like well dude you have a big gut and you don't exercise and you smoke and your your skin is like peeling off from you know this autoimmune disease that you have and you're you know I mean like a woman who has been working out for 20 years she wants anything to do with you right like you have these high standards but you don't have high standards for yourself just for the other person and so you're not willing that there's all these people out there that aren't willing to do what's necessary to deserve the other people the type of person that they want they just raise their standards up and then they do whatever they want to do and they complain that nobody's stepping up for them and they're wondering whoa why don't you know why aren't guys willing to step up and you know be a man for me you know and it's like well are you willing to step up and be the kind of woman that the man is looking for you know and and so there's well that was a really long tangent but it's an important thing right it's important to wow I really I really went way off on that one okay so Donna says sounds good to me do you want me to meet you there oh you talking about Romania okay Lindsay from Spain I'll be in Spain next week or next month should be in Spain next month Jeanette says yes messing with him and idea how do I say no more to this guy that has a girlfriend it's pretty simple to say no more to a guy that has a girlfriend you just shut him off completely I mean what why do you need to talk to him ever again is there a reason why you need to ever talk to him again I don't see any reason why you need to talk to him again just let him know that you're no longer interested in seeing a guy that has a girlfriend and just just disappeared you know I mean just communicate what you're doing and then disappear I don't see any reason to talk to him about any thing else like that and just try to avoid getting into situations with guys that have girlfriends or are married or in situations like that it's just it's a really bad place to be Stephanie says yeah I feel you there a lot of people still not healed and the whole thing where hurt people hurt people exactly and thank you I need to look into that PSI it's called PSI seminars I think it's PSISeminars.com you can check it out it's a really cool program I totally recommend it Tijana says why are guys trying to make girls jealous and wanting to hurt like that from my ex amazing how smart you are why do guys try to make girls jealous well first I you know I question whether he's actually trying to make you jealous or not a lot of times people assume that people are doing certain things to hurt other people and that's not always what they're doing so I'd question that and if he is doing that then I ask what's going on what else is going on in this situation because usually people only try to hurt other people when they're hurting and that's actually exactly what we've been talking about here that's what Stephanie Rogers was talking about where hurt people hurt people right like hurt people hurt people and so if somebody wants to hurt another person it's because they're hurting and they're not healed and so that's why hurt people hurt people Cindy says they call that being a hypocrite Stephanie Rogers girl double standards yeah well this you know I don't know about the whole narcissist thing there's a lot of people that kind of use terms label people stuff like that and a lot of times it kind of like dehumanizes them so I don't like to use terms like that all the time and label lots of people that I know there's a lot of people that are selfish and have issues with double standards I mean the whole world has issues with double standards Jillian says your standards tangent is something everyone needs to hear in regards like attracts like thank you man you're welcome oh Jeanette says he is my son's friend it's a mess yeah that sounds like a mess Camilla says that was me the crazy woman comment yeah he made me think what Fatma says why are men so ignorant and rude I don't know why are women so ignorant and rude why is everybody so ignorant and rude there's a lot of ignorant rude people out there in the world and they're both men and women so you know I don't know what to say about all that alright it looks like all the questions that we have for today so thank you everybody for being here I really appreciate you being here if you want to attract a great guy into a great relationship make sure that you go to the goddesscommunity.com and check out joining our community there Jeanette says how can I get a session with you unfortunately I'm not doing any I'm not taking on any clients any new clients right now so you're unable to do that um other than that we do have a program that you can join with one of our coaches if you're interested in doing that you can find that on the website commitmentconnection.com and so thank you everybody for being here thank you for allowing me to be a part of your journey and this is all about empowering you and helping you and helping you get a relationship where you feel loved and valued and seen by a great man and so again thanks for being here I think you all are just absolutely amazing and you're awesome and I love you guys all so much and thanks I look tired tonight you know I have to be up pretty early it's almost midnight here and I have to be up in a couple hours to go on a flight so alright well thanks everybody for being here and I'll speak with you again soon