 How much of yourself should you disclose when you're working with a child or a young person and you're the trusted adult? So maybe you are their teacher, their counselor, for example, and you're wondering, is it helpful for you to share your experiences if you feel that you're able to empathize with them, if you've perhaps been through something similar in the past? Now, there's not a one size fits all sort of answer to this as ever. However, there are three kind of rules of thumb that I find really helpful questions to ask myself when considering how much should I share with somebody when they're confiding in me. Number one is am I sharing this for me or for them? So sometimes when we feel that we connect with someone, if we find that their experience is drawing on something that resonates with us, then we want to share our story and that's actually more about us and wanting to share something of ourselves and it doing something positive for us than it is for them. So if you find yourself doing that because it's kind of tapped into something that matters to you and you kind of want that conversation, then just take a moment to reflect on whether that's helpful for the child. If on the other hand, you genuinely think, actually, this is really going to help them. It's really helpful for them to understand that they're not alone, for example, then that is a more valid reason for sharing. Number two is to consider whether you sharing your experience is likely to cause any distress or worry for the child or the young person that you're talking to. So for example, it might be that you've had a historic experience of something and that everything's okay now and that might be something that feels a little bit more comfortable to share something that's not a live issue. On the other hand, if the child or young person gets wind of the fact that you've got ongoing concerns, then sometimes, particularly if there's someone who struggles with things like anxiety, then they might take onboard those worries for themselves too and when you've tried to share something in order to make them feel better, it's potentially possible that they end up carrying your concerns and your worries too. So just have a think about whether they're likely to find it distressing in any way or if they're likely to carry those concerns. Number three is to ask yourself, am I likely to regret having opened up about this? So we should not feel any stigma associated with talking about things like our sexuality, things like our mental health or physical health history, but actually sometimes we find that those things aren't as readily accepted as we hope or maybe our relationship with the child might change or maybe for some other reason this just feels like something that you're not entirely sure that you're ready to get out there yet and remember, however good a relationship that you have with a child or a young person and however keen you are to keep their confidentiality if that's appropriate, they might not keep yours and so just be careful and think about whether you're ready to share this, whether you're ready for that to perhaps go further and whether you're ready for that child to know this about you, whatever it might be. So there's not a cut and dry answer and I'm not trying to discourage you from opening up, sometimes it really helps to draw on our own experiences and to share that a bit with the kids that we're working with, but do just try and run yourself through that quick test those three questions. So am I sharing this for me or for them? Will this cause them any kind of distress or worry and will I regret later on having shared this? If you ask yourself those questions and you think you still wanna share, then think really carefully about how you choose to do so and good luck.