 it's raining outside we had three different climates all in one day I live in Texas y'all it was hot this morning warm this afternoon cool this evening and now it's freezing okay we had tornado watches and it dropped like 30 degrees in one day okay anyway so this video is a video request someone asked me to go into how to create a relationship out of just by dating someone like after you've been dating someone for a while you want to take it to the next level you want to be an exclusive couple how did you make that transition um well there's two ways now I know a lot of people aren't gonna you know agree to this but if you're just dating someone and you have not had sex yet this is how you can get to the next level when you first start dating and the conversation of sex comes up you just simply say I'll only have sex in committed relationships okay this way if he wants to become an item a couple a boyfriend he's going to have to put in that commitment in order to get you know to the next level to sex now if you've already had sex with someone you just casually dating well they don't really need as a man they don't really need to make you their girlfriend because they've already got you know girlfriend benefits okay so they're not going to be as excited or in a hurry to become your boyfriend because they are they're already getting sex okay there's nothing that they haven't gotten that's going to make them change their mind so in that case I would cut sex off I would take sex off the table until you're in a committed relationship you know say well I don't feel comfortable having sex with you anymore until we're in a committed relationship you know I feel like you're getting girlfriend benefits without me being a girlfriend you know just be straight up just be honest just put it on the table because men will respect you for having standards because then they will say well in in their mind they're thinking well she does not want to continue doing this she wants a real relationship so she's not going to do this with other guys that she's casually dating she wants something real and you know she she wants to take this to the next level she just doesn't want to be you know casually having sex with me or men she's dating in general so you know they're gonna reason that this is a good thing and if they don't want to take it to the next level then you already know they were just using you for the sex okay so don't be afraid to tell don't be afraid to cut them off don't be afraid to tell them what you want okay a lot of girls will wait around for the guy to ask them to be their girlfriend but men are not going to run towards commitment okay this is the woman's job the men will chase you for the date the men will ask you out the men will say this the men will say that but it's the woman's choice to accept that man as their partner so they're waiting on you to say hey I want to be more than what we are and then that leaves them the choice to agree or disagree okay but you have to be able to accept them as they are they don't know if you're looking for someone better they don't know if you're just playing around too so you need to tell it you need to put it on the table look I don't want to have sex no more outside of a committed relationship do you want to take this thing to the next level to the next level or not and when you cut them off in the bed and you put put that on the table it's either either gonna have to start all over dating somebody else spending money on somebody else to get this to get to the same point again in a few months because another girl's gonna ask the same question or if they're gonna go ahead and say yes let's let's do this let's be a couple or if they only wanted you for sex in the first place they're gonna be like no I'm not trying to commit and they'll go on about their business and they'll start all over with another girl okay so you know that's their life that's their choice but you won't be stuck in it and you won't be waiting and you won't be wondering you know I always say say what you mean and what you say especially when it comes to commitment because in this day and age relationships are crazy there's all sorts of relationships you have people that are casually dating casually just having sex casual just hanging out just being friends just having friends with benefits you have to put a label on it okay and by putting a label on it you are putting standards on it as well you know girlfriends get check-ins girlfriends get phone calls texts gifts dates all that kind of stuff okay they get all those things dating someone you just you don't you don't you're not guaranteed a phone call you're not guaranteed a text you're just you know let's go out let's hang out when I'm done we're done okay so if you're checking in and y'all are just casually dating you text him and you know check in and stuff you're acting like a girlfriend when you're not a girlfriend yet okay so you don't have you don't do that until y'all are officially together because if you're always telling him where you are what you're doing and da da da da you know it's too easy for him he's gonna be like okay she's bored you know I'm not ready for that yet and it's getting on my nerves it's like she's too clingy already don't check in if you're not his official girlfriend you don't have to answer the phone all the time so yeah so no girlfriend benefits no wife benefits to anybody you're just dating okay don't cook don't clean don't do laundry don't do any of that stuff don't offer anything otherwise you're giving up free services for someone that don't won't even claim you okay now if this person is just dating you to just be dating because they don't want to be lonely and but they don't want a serious connection they just want a friend to date then you also have to understand that you can't force a man who's not ready financially to be a boyfriend okay you if he's if he's financially ready to be a boyfriend then of course ask him you want to take this thing to the next level that but if he's not ready financially you know if you think he's struggling or something and or not ready mentally if you just got out of a relationship maybe you're just the rebound chick you know you need to wait on that if he just got out of a relationship you need to wait on that because a lot of times men will use a woman to get over their their past relationship and then eventually go back so you gotta you gotta wait for them at least after they got another relationship at least a year because after a year they're not going back okay the woman has already moved on believe me and most men they will date a woman still trying to get their old girlfriend back they will do this because they're dating a woman getting sex but still trying to get their ex back at the same time because they truly don't believe it's over in their mind until she's often married and living with this other dude then they finally give up and then they start going us to introduce into this depression and if you're dating them or their girlfriend at the time they're gonna take it all out on you okay so you don't want to be the rebound chick rebound chicks with guys is bad okay because they they're not even thinking about you they're focused on what they are what they're trying to get back they're just using it okay so never date a guy who's on the rebound and if you do don't date him seriously okay so make sure you ask these questions before you go out and date when was your last relationship what when was your last serious relationship and they'll say oh I just broke up with somebody two months ago red flag you can date them but don't ask to get into a serious relationship with him if he asks you that's a different story but don't don't try to pressure him because he's still trying to get that other thing back okay like seriously most guys try to get their exes back for at least up to six months to a year after they break up with them because one they really don't think it's over until that woman is engaged or living with another man they don't think it's over okay it's a weird thing I don't know why that men do this but they don't think a relationship is over until the other woman is married living with the man has has a kid pregnant by the other man they don't think it's over okay so make sure it's been a long time since he's been in a serious relationship okay make sure he doesn't have any young children like that just were born two months ago because that means that you're gonna have a lot of issues in that baby mama drama okay make sure he's a good candidate to be a boyfriend before you go trying to make him your boyfriend because there's some guys who are cool enough not to put you in a situation to be a girlfriend where they know they can't be a good boyfriend to you okay they will just date you but they know they're not ready they know this like you know I don't have my stuff together I don't even have this I don't have that I'm not focused I'm not gonna be make a good boyfriend I can date when I want to date and have fun you know chill but I'm not boyfriend material yet so don't try to make me okay and if you try to force someone to be a boyfriend and they're not ready they don't have their stuff together you're gonna be upset at them okay so y'all make sure you get all the questions asked you get all the background you get all the information then you suggest taking it to the next level and say oh it's no pressure I'm just you know I'm just ready to move forward with my life at this point and I think that you and I would make a good team never use the word couple never use the word marriage because this scares guys off use neutral words like team partners and when you say team and partners and his head is he's gonna he's gonna think of sports and working together and making a good life and you say couple he's gonna think of all the mushy stuff and stuff he has to do as a boyfriend you know y'all have to trick man y'all have to use certain words okay and you know you know say I want it I want I'm asking you for it so what's what's your answer I'm ready to move forward in this relationship you'll get your answer you know why wait around figure it out you know especially if you're in your 30s you don't have time to waste if y'all are in your 20s you'll have fun you know and y'all are close to 30 or 30 y'all start talking about that seriously so and also you know make sure that you are prepared to make room in your life for this person make sure your schedule is open to have a boyfriend make sure you're able to do you know certain things that you're not accustomed to doing as a single person you know just start thinking in that direction right down what you want your relationship to be like as a couple and start you know start talking in future terms like you know what wouldn't it be so cool if we went on a vacation here together or wouldn't it be so cool if we spent the weekend over here at the beach all right you know start talking it like couples like do like you know let's go here for the weekend include him in things and say let's do this let's do that start including him in couple ideas you know double dates and stuff if you can with couples who are girl girlfriend boyfriend and they can put the pressure on him as well they can say oh when are y'all gonna be a couple you know and you know when people say oh y'all look so beautiful as a couple it's gonna get into his subconscious mind he's gonna start thinking of you as a couple so oh it's getting interrupted and it's night so yeah so yeah that's that's the way to do it so if y'all have any questions put them in the comments and I'll answer and I'll see y'all later happy news you happy new years if I don't see y'all before New Year's and also if y'all have any more video suggestions just put them below and I will take a look at them okay