 The shocking reason why the narcissist will never respect you. Many victims who have been involved with narcissists are shocked at the level of disrespect. Narcissists are offensively impolite and ill-mannered. They show no concern or respect for your rights or feelings. They are self-absorbed and they lack empathy. They are preoccupied with their own feelings and needs, which results in them disrespecting you. It results in them not considering what you want or using what you want to manipulate you, but never having any genuine care or concern for you. They never have your best interest in mind. When most victims feel like the narcissist doesn't respect them or approve of them, they will try harder to gain their approval and validation. They will try harder to please them, which results in these victims running endlessly on a hamster wheel that the narcissist has created for them. It results in these victims running themselves into the ground because the narcissist is never satisfied. Nothing you do is ever good enough for them because they have these insatiable desires, which they can't even fulfill for themselves. They can't even make themselves happy, yet they expect you to distract them from their misery and pain. As these are feelings that they don't want to deal with, it's too painful for them to deal with. Which is why they hold you responsible for how they feel, because they don't take responsibility for their feelings, but they see their feelings as facts. So if they feel hurt or upset, in their minds that means that you must have hurt or upset them, so now they have to punish you. They have to withdraw their attention from you or they have to hurt you. They have to do something to get revenge, to feel like they have gotten you back a return for their perceived injury, even though you may not have done anything to them. This could all just be happening in their minds. It could be something that they have imagined, yet they will hold you responsible for how they feel, even though it has nothing to do with you. They are delusional because they run from reality. They don't want to deal with the truth because the truth would require them to take responsibility. It will require them to hold themselves accountable for how they feel, which it isn't going to benefit them in any way. Because they've gone so long without attending to their own emotions, they've always held other people responsible for how they feel, so they wouldn't know where to start. It's much easier for them to pass the blame on to someone else. Then they can make other people try harder and harder to make them happy. They can just sit back and not have to do anything at all, while everyone runs themselves under the ground trying to please them. So why would they ever respect you? There's no incentive for them to do that. They learned a long time ago that being rude and dismissive gets people what they want. And that is why they act this way. That is why they don't respect you, because they've learned that if they respect people, they will always end up with a short end of the stick. Narcissists are focused on their survival, and they've learned that respecting other people is detrimental to their survival. It puts them at a disadvantage, which is why they will never respect you. Which is why they will never treat you right. When you first met the narcissist, it may have seemed as though they admired and respected you. It may have seemed as though they had regard for your feelings, wishes, rights or traditions, but that was just manipulation. They deceived you. Narcissists never respect the people who are closest to them. They never give them the compliments or praise that they deserve. They always take them for granted, because they look at it like, if you're so great, you wouldn't be here. You wouldn't be around me. If you were deserving of anything better than I give to you, you would have left a long time ago. So when you stay around the narcissist, you may think that you're proving your loyalty and devotion, and that is worthy of respect. But the narcissist just sees you as a fool. When you remain around the narcissist, it tells them to keep the ill treatment coming, and they don't feel guilty for how they treat you, because they see it as though you're deserving of it, because you choose to remain around them. They see it as though if you were smart, you would just get up and leave, and it's only when you do leave they think that maybe you're worse up than after all. If you leave, they see it as though that's a smart one. They figure it out, and while they may secretly value and admire your courage, they're still not going to respect you. When you leave the narcissist, they will say horrible things about you to other people. They will smear your name. They may even try to sabotage your progress, because the truth is that they just don't want to respect you. Respecting you makes them reflect on how they're not worthy of respect. But if they can keep you down and treat you like you're worthless, it makes them feel better. It makes them feel like they're worth something, as long as they withhold their respect from you. They feel like they're okay. It's only when they're forced to acknowledge your qualities or accomplishments that they then feel small in comparison. They feel like they don't measure up. They feel like they're not worthy of respect, and they don't want to feel that way. So it's either you or them. They live in this black and white world where people are either good or bad. You're either a winner or a loser, and in their world there can only be one winner. So if they have to respect you, in their world that means they're nothing, because respecting you only reveals that their false self is not worthy of respect. As long as they disrespect you, they can maintain the illusion. They can sustain their false self, and they can feel like they're actually worth something. They're too insecure to give you the respect that you deserve. Thank you for watching. I hope this video resonated with you. Please like, comment, share, and subscribe. If you would like to donate, my PayPal link is in the video description. Coaching queries, you can email me. I coach it at NARC Survivor at Kuduk. Thank you for watching, and I'll talk to you soon.