 Okay. On your mark. No, actually, I can't do that. Hey, friends, you're watching Behind the Scenes Divine Intimacy Radio, Dan, Stephanie, and Jordan Burke, so cool to have Jordan in the studio. We're going to jump right in to now finding peace in the storm. My latest book, Reflections on St. Alphontus of Glory's Uniformity with God's Will. And if you want to follow along with us, I'll say it again in a minute, but we're going to be working on happiness deriving from perfect uniformity and how you can have happiness or joy. Maybe another. I like that word better. Yeah. Yeah. Then in the storm. So here we go on your mark. Oh, I will say this too. Please like and subscribe and tell us about what we're doing. If you're not aware, Catholic stuff is getting suppressed just because it says Catholic out there. And the way to around it is to tell YouTube you're still interested by commenting, telling us what you think about the show, what we're talking about, sharing it, saving it, not to mention that everyone is kind of complaining about the way that the world is going. If you want to change it, then you should share the videos of people and implement what we're talking about to help change the world. Totally. All right. And your markets that go. This Dan, Stephanie, Jordan Burke, you're listening to your participating in divine intimacy radio your radio haven of rest, your hermitage of the heart, your monastery of the mind where we lift our hearts and minds to heaven to draw upon the wisdom of the saints, the great tradition and teaching of the church, the into to immerse ourselves into what it means to know, understand and participate in the glorious divine economy, which is ordered to bring us to union with God. If we want to be in union, you know, but if you want to be miserable, I just ditch it all. What do you think? If you want to be miserable, you're in the wrong podcast. You got the wrong people speaking in your ear. You might as well just give up now. Go back to all the junk of the world. Don't do that. Because we're going to, we want to help share the good news. We want to share the gospel. Yeah, things are tough. It's cool to have Jordan here. He's, he's kind of the impetus behind this whole project. So getting this book done and all of that, but we're on, we're in chapter three, happiness of deriving from perfect uniformity. We are not reading it word to word to word for word. Don't worry. We're just covering the topics and giving other examples that are not in the book and some that are in the book to hopefully help you. So what you guys know, this is, this one is a, is a fun one for me in a sense, this chapter, because we talk about kind of grinding it out a lot. We talk about the difficulties and, you know, all of that, but it's actually possible to be happy, joyful in the midst of some of the most profound difficulties in life. Yeah. Yeah. And I think using, using that word joyful, because in happiness, we think of happy birthday, you know, happy this, happy that it's kind of like, just kind of very base understanding that it can and really happy can also be used towards folly, which is, is not of the Lord. That's not good. Or just feelings, just feelings or whatever it is and can, can really be misused. But joyful is a pervading sense that God is who he is. I am his. And I know who I am and who's I am. And in that, I have profound peace and a joyful sense of I know where I'm going. I know this is transitory. This is a journey. I haven't reached my destination. And my God is a good God, right? He's a good father. And he desires my good. Amen. Amen. Alphonsus quotes Alphonsus, the great King of Ergon, it was asked, you know, who does he consider the happiest person in the world? And he said, he who abandoned himself to the will of God and accepts all things, prosperous and adverse as coming from his hands. To those that love God, all things work together for good, which is a quote from Romans. Those who love God are always happy because their whole happiness is to fulfill even in adversity, the will of God afflictions do not mar their serenity. Because by accepting misfortune, they know that they give pleasure to their beloved Lord, whatever shall befall the just man shall not make him sad. Now, just one qualifier, we'll keep jumping into this. We've said it over and over. But you know, we have new listeners, I just want to make people here. It is what we're not saying is that he's he's he's speaking in very he's trying to be clear that this is the normal Christian life. We're not all living the normal Christian life and all aspects of our our being. So this is a very mature version of the Christian life. But you can get there from wherever you are, if you immerse yourself in the divine economy and all the graces of the church and the teaching begin to conform your intellect to these truths, choose to live that reality or embrace it acts of faith in the will and which then helps you at it begins to heal your emotions. So any of you guys can say I would say that this is the ideal that we are aspiring to right to kind of make it what you're saying a little bit more clear, right? Yeah, right. And it's not something that can just happen by osmosis or overnight or overnight, you know, it really, you know, we, we talk about the paradigm of scent of a scent that's in Dan's books and you know, on the castle, there's an illustration of it. If you haven't picked that up, it's remarkable if you want to find out where you are on your spiritual journey. That's a great book to read. But this I this idea of self giving and self denial is so central to this journey of figuring out or joining into what is God doing here? Yeah. And and we have to, in an essence, get over ourselves. I think is really at the core of it. We have to get over ourselves and enter into this of understanding that everything in the divine economy is set up for our salvation for our good, whatever it is. Right. And so I really love this next section. I mean, obviously, I'm a mom. Yeah. And Jordan is is the son of my heart. By God's grace, he's been given to us through to me through our marriage, even though I didn't birth him, he has really become my son. And so, you know, there's a section in here that I want to talk about, because I think it's going to resonate with a lot of families, a lot of parents. And it says, so it's, it's understanding that God loves us so profoundly, he is even willing to allow extremely difficult things to assail us for the purpose of our freedom, our healing and our salvation. Modern parenting often takes the exact exact opposite approach as if making life easy for children is a good thing. In fact, most drug rehab facilities are filled with children of wealthy parents who sought to protect those children from the very adversity that they needed to shape their souls and their character. So these children are now imprisoned by weak minds, hearts and wills that cannot think and act in ways that allow for freedom. When we protect our children from consequences, we protect them from learning, growing and becoming men. So I have a specific story about this with Jordan, with Jordan, and we got his permission ahead of time. We did. Yeah. Did we get your opinion? Can I say that? Can I tell the story? Yeah, it was just legally binding. There'll be a price to pay later. Now, okay, so Jordan, you know, we got custody of Jordan and you were what 14, 15, somewhere in there, 14 or 15. And you, we did not have custody before then, we get a phone call, you know, you, you've landed yourself in jail at, I don't know, 11 o'clock at night, we're getting a call, we're in, we're 45 minutes or an hour away. And, and I turned to Dan and I said, you know, he needs his father, he needs his father. So we get in the car and we go get you. And shortly thereafter, within a matter of a very short order, we get full custody of you because you've been neglected, you know, you've been educationally, neglected, physically neglected, you know, emotionally abused and all of that. So it was very outside of our care outside of our care. And so it was a signing of the paper, the judge, it was so clear, the judge immediately signed the paper and it was over. There was no fight. So we get you. But you come to us out of tremendous darkness. Total. Yeah. Yeah. So, you know, it was rough. It was rough. So do you remember what you brought into the house? I mean, do you remember? I mean, some of it. Yeah, some of it. I think by the grace of God, a lot of that memory has been purified. And there's, you know, and I don't know if it's even worth mentioning, but when people go through a lot of trauma, a lot of their memories are just vanished anyway. So yes and no. Do you remember the anger? Oh, for sure. And the frustration constant anger and frustration. That was really the hardest part. Yeah, well, because I was like an abused puppy, right, who doesn't understand what's going on. And then someone goes to try to pet the puppy and the puppy tries to bite him. Yes, that's what it is. She got bit. Yeah. I got bit a lot. A lot. You know, I think you're pretty much like anything that we proposed that was normative to a family was like, I want nothing. I don't wanna do that. I don't wanna eat this. I don't wanna do that. Right? Yeah. What are the reasons why I still don't eat vegetables? But the running away, you know, the anger outburst, the cursing that whatever, just explosive rage and anger that was going on. And I remember going to my spiritual director during that time and for the just through my tears, because I was very concerned not only for you, but what it was doing to, you know, my biological children that that were there that are now your brother and sister, and the disruption to Dan and I are family, everything, because it was like having a powder keg in the house. And it went from quiet to and you weren't the only one who was struggling, but it was added to the well, the other. Yeah. Yeah. So anyway, it was just a perfect story. It was, you know, and, and so I remember going to Father John and going, listen, you know, this is all going on. And, and he's not listening. And, you know, I don't want him to I remember saying the words, I don't want him to go through this. It's not necessary. He, you know, he's not listening and he's disrupting everything. This is painful or whatever. And a lot of that was coming out of fear and frustration. I'm sure there are parents out there that can really relate to this. And I'll never forget what Father John said to me, he looks at me. And in this moment that just changed everything. He said that Stephanie, what if Jordan needs this for his salvation? That was mind blowing to me. And I just took a moment like I'm like, you could have sucked the air out of the room at that moment. And I'm looking at him and my whole paradigm is shifting. Oh, he, this is part of his journey. And can I comment on that just like from an observer in that circumstance, like what's happening there? And this is beautiful and powerful. And we can do this for each other. You're in the muck. You're in the suffering and the pain of the muck. You're at just pure level of humanity circumstance. What did Father Budke do? He said, look up. He reorientated. There's something happening. Join in what God is doing. Find your place of peace. Because then you can really help Jordan. Yeah. Because your worst moment you've admitted it is in one in particular outside of his high school. Don't say I won't. It was when he success Jordan successfully drew you into his worst brokenness darkness. Yeah. And then you did something that you had to go to confession for which by the way is what the enemy wants to happen. Right. Oh, yeah. To keep you in the muck. Yeah. Yeah. But, but when we can lift up our eyes, whatever it is, and draw into that question, what are you doing? How do I join you? This hurts and even to say to the Lord in tears, this hurts like hell. I don't like it. Help me, Lord, I believe help my unbelief. I know you're good. Objectively, I know you're good. It doesn't feel good to me. Why are you allowing it's okay to ask that question? Right. Why? Because it helps you to begin to go. There is a reason it's not just random junk that you're getting crushed by. Yeah. And we don't have enough time to go into the fullness of that story. But what I find remarkable about all this, yeah, we could. What I find remarkable about remarkable about all this is that that the person that you fought against the most was me. And and it was through me that the Lord was going to bring extraordinary healing, not because of me, but it's because I think so often we resist the person that on the other side is most necessary, most necessary for us. So let's let's stop there. I want to share that because I think it's important. We'll do that right after the break. So we'll go 13. Hey, folks, you want to get the book spiritualdirection.com shop by seven, start a small group. They have questions and answers. After each chapter, after each chapter, it's designed for a small group discussion. A lot of churches are doing that to really helping people in these difficult times. And it's a fundamentally life changing topic. It really is regardless of the book, even if you just get the original, but I think you should get this one because it expands on it. Yeah, cool. And your market set go. Dan, Stephanie, Jordan Burke, this is us. This we be this we who we be. And we're on Divine Intimacy Radio. Sorry about that. Yeah, that was impressive. I'm amazing. No, I didn't add any alcohol yet either today. But so you shouldn't have said that. That's okay. I always do that too. So we're talking for the break about, you know, Jordan's suffering and then the suffering that happened in our home when he joined us. And then this grand design of the person he's in most conflict with, which is Stephanie. And it's funny, I always had the sense. And I've even said it to him, I don't know if you ever remember, like, if you can figure her out and understand how much she loves you, it's going to be transformational for you. But it took you really crashing and burning. And then a circumstance with you two together that was powerful. I think it's good to tell the end of the story. You know, it reminds me a little bit just thematically, not not in terms of, like, macro themes of how God works in Genesis 50, where you got Joseph, he gets sold to slavery, they were going to kill him, you know, all these tragic things. And then he ends up saving the entire, you know, people of Israel through through. And he and he says in that, like this, the money line of that, what you intended for evil God intended for good, right? So his brothers, few of his brothers intended for evil God intended for good. So in this circumstance, you have what feels to you like an assault against your freedom or whatever is going on with you. She's in my way. Yeah, she's in the way of my autonomy and whatever it's in, it really was whatever the enemy was putting my head in the midst of suffering, which is what's common for everybody. Right. And I just want to note, too, it's what's funny about this topic is it's so hard for people to wrap their heads around. But if once you understand it and you read the Bible again, you realize, oh, it's everywhere. This is everywhere. Right. This is a central theme of the Bible. Right. Yeah. Yeah. So it's really interesting. So you had a huge mother wound, like size of the state of Texas, you know, it's just huge, right? And and I just think this is it's so really common for anybody who has wounds. If they have a mother wound or a father wound, there's going to be a mother figure or a father figure somewhere in their life male or female male or female or it or it's going to come through Mary, always through Mary, St. Joseph or God, the father to bring the healing and the restoration of those mother and father wounds. But in this case, you have a huge mother wound. And and I want to say, you know, looking back on it, and I can say this with complete sincerity, I eight for your freedom. I eight for you to discover who you were. And and that's that's always kind of my M. O. And I may not always convey it properly, you know, and and say it the right way because, you know, I talk like a woman, I think like whatever, then pretty you can get pretty intense. I can get intense, you know, because I am a Latin woman on top of it, right? But at the core is I desire your good for your sake and for your salvation and for you to find freedom because your pain hurt me. I could see your suffering. And that was a seminal moment actually was my ability to see that suffering on a whole nother different level and not just stop at the surface and go, how dare you? Which is where 99% of people stop. Yeah, they don't recognize, oh, maybe this person is acting this way because there's something deeper. Yeah, they don't think on that. And they just see I'm being hurt or I'm witnessing the mushroom cloud of whatever this person has just done. And that's where they stop. And they pile on and they pile on which makes it worse. Yeah. And just if I can set up the theme and you tell the so the theme is, you know, they have conflict. And then Jordan ends up, I don't know that we need to go off in the details. But essentially, he train wrecked his life, his marriage, the and and and really had to go to the pigs. I mean, in this context of understanding what you had to go to the pigs for yourself. I had to be broken. It had to be allowed for you by God for you to be broken. A true prodigal son, true. So he's to the nth degree. So he's with the pigs. And and we are meeting at the shrine because we have an event coming up. And he's asked. Well, he's asked to meet us. I've got to talk to you. Right. Something's going on in my life. And I and we were like, Oh, here it comes. Right. Because you and I we knew there was something smelling the darkness for months. You know, we knew something was so, you know, I don't know if you want to cue it up or if you want me to. Yeah, well, I don't know how deep you want to go into the story. So yeah, I think it's just I want to go. So you wrecked everything. Right. And you came and you poured out your soul. I mean, if you want to describe any of that, maybe I didn't have not quite heard. Well, I think it's beautiful to hear how you experienced her and the healing in that. Yeah. Well, you want me to set it up first and then then he can go to that. Whatever. Okay. So so, you know, he has to meet us. He's sitting across from us, across from a coffee table. I purposefully put myself in a chair with the table between. Yeah, where we could not sit near you. Yeah, I had some time to run in case someone jumped over the table. Yeah, and and so, you know, Dan, I can see his jaw, you know, he's he's gritting his teeth already. And and he's really in stress. And so you proceed to then confess everything that you had done. And I mean, laid it out in all its ugliness. And I and I was watching you and I can feel his tension. I know he's about to fire you. And and rightly so, because you're working for us and you're an open door, you'd cause this all kinds of disruption and whatever. And but you were you laid yourself out in humility and said, I've done these things. And this is where my life is right now. And you're bawling your eyes out. You're just laying yourself out. And in that moment, I'm thinking, first of all, I admire you in that moment, because I thought I would never have done that in front of my parents. I would have never been that vulnerable to my parents in part because I couldn't have trusted my parents. So I think that's a whole another story there. But I admired what you were doing. Your dad was about to fire you and I could see your suffering and I'm dying for you. And so I stepped across that table and I just put out my hand and you looked at my hand and you put your hand in mine. And what I said was I am so sorry for your suffering. And that's now you take it from there. When I probably wept even harder as if that was even possible. It was this moment because our relationship was really contentious up into that point. And and I didn't know what the outcome of this was going to be. I just knew that I had wrecked so bad and I was so I used the description. I wasn't just broken. I was grounded to dust and that probably isn't even totally, you know, as accurate as it could be. But I don't have words to describe how bad it was. But I knew that something had to change. And then I knew in the in the core of who I was that this was necessary for that change to occur, or at least it was a step in the right direction. So but in that moment when I took your hand and it was this, it was even more vulnerability because we were our relationship was so contentious. But there was a miraculous freedom that came in that in the midst of that. And it was I wasn't being condemned and you weren't no one was justifying or making excuses for what I did. It was very clear what you did is bad. Like it's bad and you have to answer consequences of whatever that is. However, we love you. And we're here for you because, you know, I made that it was evident in the effort that I made, I'm guessing. Yeah, I mean, I we we met you in that pain. Right. And and that was a supernatural moment for me. Oh, 100%. Because it that, you know, I consider myself to be a very compassionate person. But, you know, you you were the cause of 99% of our pain, you know. And and so to say to you I am so I was it was so profoundly true that I just I wanted to ease your your suffering. But I knew it was necessary. And I just wanted you to know you're not alone. Yeah, you're not alone. And I am truly sorry. So we wept together. And, you know, and then and you said something profound about your relationship with her. Well, it's a change fundamentally after that. I mean, well, in a lot of things changed when I've told the story in the past, you know, I drove away and even in the midst of the sorrow and the pain that still existed, there was a tremendous freedom. I mean, I've told you all and I've said this before, but like the clouds I've never seen them so clear. My thought process was clear and never been clear before. And you said you she had become what to you? My mom. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And it was a healing of that wound in a lot of ways. It was these bridges that were being built and the grace that came from God in the midst of that was was tremendous. You know, and y'all can speak to this better than better than I could. But it's, you know, I get questions all the time. It's like, well, you know, I'm struggling with my spouse and things like that. And as you already, you guys have already said, right? So that person that you're struggling the most with could be what is necessary. They are well, in that case, for sure. Yeah, you know, they are. Yeah, because God put you together with them. Right. That doesn't mean it's always going to work out in some way. You want it to work out, right? But it is necessary for our salvation. Yeah. Well, you know, and going back to kind of the theme of this moment, right, we we could have raced into your situation and, you know, like smoothed everything over, gotten meddled in your marriage, your apartment, you know, paid for everything, fixed everything. But we didn't. We let you walk through that valley of death with you, with you. And knowing that you, you were not alone, you know, I love you, you're not alone. And you're gonna you're not going to sink. You're not going to sink. You're going to be OK. But we knew that you needed to go through this. And and to do the penance. Yeah. Then I did too, because I don't I don't recall ever asking, which is also a great. No, we just watched from a distance and we saw a little bit difficulty. It's like, here's a vehicle. Don't worry about that. You know, but but it was because you were you were fighting for the good actively making an effort. Right. Yeah, huge. I mean, you were working your tail off. So I mean, I'm the first to go, oh, you're working yourself to death to get this right. I've seen pictures of me back then. It's it's you'd lost. I don't know how much weight. It was it was crazy. You look sick. Yeah. You were you weren't eating. I mean, not sleeping. I don't know what all else. But God be praised. So I think the important thing about this is we we must be careful not to smooth everything over with our kids starting when they're little, starting with their little. It is OK for your kids to fall and screw into struggle and not to have to have the cool stuff. It's not to have a cell phone. It's OK if they don't get straight A's. Don't be doing their projects for them. You know, whatever it is because they need to go through those struggles and those hard times because it's going to perfect them. And it teaches them how to look up. It teaches them the proper perspective on life. And so so much of our culture is unraveling because these these things were never taught in, you know, in Catholic Christian circles or whatever. Yeah. And so people are really lost in its all circumstance, all despair, all anger, all politics, all humanity, all victim, all victim hood, huge. Oh, my gosh, entire generation of victim hood right now. All right. Well, we just pray this is helpful to you guys. Please like and subscribe to the YouTube page, tell people about it, spread the word, finding peace in the storm, start a small group where our goal is to help you to heaven. And with that until next time, may the God of peace make you perfect and holiness. May he preserve you whole and entire spirit, soul and body irreproachable at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. Amen. Amen. Okay.