 A new study shows that there is a growing number of people who are having Dating app burnout David people are tired of it Yeah, the title of this viral new york times article is a decade of fruitless searching the toll of dating app burnout 10 years after the launch of tinder some long-term online daters say endless swiping has been bad for their mental health And of course there's a huge long article. There's thousands and thousands of comments They're mostly focusing on two women, but one of them is named Abby Andrew She's been on dating apps for eight years between okcupid bumble tinder e harmony match Wu plus coffee meets bagel hinge And basically she said I have not had a single long-term relationship that has blossomed from my efforts Whoa, so is it her fault or the dating apps fault? Let's talk about it guys There's some interesting Statistics here and a lot of comments obviously will also tire in our own personal experience So please hit that like button and check out other episodes of the hot pop boys and also check out small loss sauce bring it on your next Dating app date Well, the good thing is the bullet style bottle allows you to bring it to the restaurant where you guys are probably meeting Obviously, it depends. You like coffee dates. You like dinner dates. You like drinks dates great for dates Hey, you want to try this new sauce? It's hot. It's spicy. Just like me Um quick thoughts, man. It's interesting because you never hear anybody talk about how much they love using dating apps Maybe unless you are a girl that's a model or a guy that's a celebrity I could see that being a little bit of a different situation Nobody ever talks about how much they like you but it seems like is there any other way to meet nowadays It seems like seven out of ten people meet on apps. Yeah, my overall personal opinion And we're gonna get into the stats of the article though. I think apps dating apps are a necessary evil They are sometimes unpleasant But they really do open up the market and they really do allow you to meet a lot of people that you're not Meeting in your daily life period. Okay. Let's be honest now With that said, I do know people who got married off the dating apps But I will say this with the caveat that they got married because they had a strong idea of what they were looking for And what was it because some of that Do people get married off tinder or are people getting married in or let's be honest off like e harmony or coffee meets bagel Right. It was coffee meets bagel and hinge. So I think uh, not so much tinder yet But maybe somebody got married off tinder, you know, somebody has been married off tinder. Let's be honest But yeah, anyways, more people have been cheated on through tinder. All right tinder has ruined more marriages than it has created Yeah, um, I guess what I'm saying is uh, the best marriages that I do know Or the best relationships that I've personally been in were developed not on the apps though for myself Like the longest relationships I have had Over the past 10 years met even at a club even meeting at a club is different than meeting on the apps Sure. Because that's a physical place. That's a old school analog way of meeting some people met at the club in the 1950s The Copa Cabana back in a day what they call it is a shared space. It is a shared space But I guess what is your personal experience? Like so I'm saying that I'm not saying that it hasn't worked because obviously statistically It has to work, but I'm just saying that it seems like meeting At some sort of like shared interest group might might be better I think that a lot of people go into using the dating apps with no idea of what they're looking for and hoping They're like what I match with all these people. Well, one of them's got to fall in love with me and I got to fall in love with them I'm like, no, I think it's still a very very intentional thing, you know The longest relationship I've been in was off the app And I don't think that's like weird or crazy to say, you know what I mean But I think I've also met people outside of the app as well So I guess what I'm saying is my suggestion is if you're going to keep using the apps, I know it's tiring I know there's burnout. I've been burnout in my life But you got to have a clear idea of what you're looking for so that you can find it and vet people that way Right and that's why you see people try to be very detailed in their Profile sometimes right it really depends. Um, I would say, you know, what's really interesting Do you think the problem with the apps is that it's matching people that don't have shared interests and they just like How each other looks so inevitably it's going to break apart versus meeting each other At the pre-selected place where you already have shared interests exactly because you're bringing people from like disparate Interest groups that would never mix or tribes that don't necessarily vibe. Yeah Well, I mean dude, there's so many different ways to get married I think and have a long relationship But I think ultimately the most important thing to me is communication of what you actually want Because that's the thing it's when you match with each other and you think it's gonna work But you don't verbally tell them what you're looking for and then you find out that you too are not on the same page Right, right, right And you could even be two puzzle pieces that do fit But one of the puzzle pieces is like has got a time lock on their puzzle piece matching that's like no Need three more years of playing around before the puzzle pieces open So now it's like you're like and the other person's freaking out because their timeline's ready to match with the other puzzle piece And they're like, uh, I finally found a match. I've been searching for 10 years on these apps and the other person's like Well, I got a time lock on there. It's not breaking. Right. Right. Right. Anyway, let's get into the comment section Somebody said so you're saying they're trying to find your forever person on an app that requires you to swipe left or right Based on physical attractiveness is a bad life strategy. Good to know. I didn't see that coming. I'm shocked Is that is that a interesting way to put it or I mean I again man. I think the dating apps I always stand by the fact that I think it is useful But with caveats and you got to be using it, right? This person said habitually single men are the ones who refuse to settle down And habitually single women are the ones who refuse to settle period Dating apps exist specifically to introduce these two categories of people to one another So that's not going to work that well because the dudes don't want to settle down and the women don't want to settle Obviously, they're referring to Hypergamy or etc. Or I guess dating up, right? Right. Um, somebody said, um, you know what the real problem is nowadays It's not about that. It's not about gender roles or like guys, you know being man-child It's just about everybody gamifying the whole experience Everybody thinks it's so fun to meet new people. They love the magic the dopamine release of that first date And guess what? It's just simple marginal value the more you go out with somebody the more you get to know them The more that extra first date spark goes away and you're just addicted to first sparks. Yeah. Yeah, that is true I do think that it is so exciting to meet someone for the first second third time And you have the sparks flying that is very exciting. Let's be honest, but That is not like at the end of the day to have like a long-term relationship You have to like have that long-term mindset if you don't have the mindset And they don't have the mindset It's probably not gonna work. You're saying if both people love eating delicious foods from different cultures for the first time But they want to just do that every day because you know how it's so exciting to like try a new dish You're like, oh, I hadn't had this dish before. Yeah, but if you're just so addicted to that feeling Yeah, if you're addicted to that dopamine feeling of the first date in the chase That is eventually going to fall back on you. It's your fault. It's not the dating apps fault The dating app is there to just put two people in front of each other and you guys decide what happens That is literally what it's there for so if you are losing out at that game It's because you don't have the emotional training or the emotional fortitude or The direction in your life to figure out what you want somebody said maybe it's not the apps Maybe it's just us as humans and it was always this crappy burnout before the apps existed And nothing's changed But just like the format of how this crappiness is taking place is more frequent dating Burnout happened whether it was people at your church fixing you guys up together whether it was parents trying to introduce you What was it before dating apps david? It was your parents saying hey, you should meet uh Sandra or no, I used to I know that friends used to be way more proactive about setting up their friends because you kind of had to Or you had to go to nightclubs non-stop Oh, you want to talk about burnout Oh go to the nightclub and try to approach a bunch of women then you'll really burn out that night Bro, I just approached eight different girls man. I'm so tired man. I'm done for the night I want to get drunk and then go eat a burrito and I'm knocking out and then I'm You know gonna squeeze one out I'm just saying there's burnout from that and then there's burnout From being introduced to a bunch of people through your friends and family because they didn't work So I'm saying dating burnout always existed. Okay. Okay. I agree with you But I do agree. I I don't fully agree with you because I actually agree with this Follow-up comment because they got into an argument somebody said no It's society has become increasingly superficial. It's all about being conventionally attractive And that has changed over society because everybody has a perfectionist mindset because there are seemingly endless opportunities in 2023 It's not just with dating. It's with buying any product People used to just go down to the local dealership and pick up a car Nowadays people are like flying across the country to get a good deal on a whip and drive it all the way back That I agree. I agree. That is true. Listen. I think society's changed both Things can be true that dating burnout Has always existed before the apps and that society did change. I think those two factors are true They can both be true now percentage wise is a 50 50 60 40 70 30 I don't know but i'm just saying both things are true Yeah, I think society changed which changed like the Probability outcomes, but then online dating also increased the frequency that everybody's dating Do you see what i'm saying? So that it's like one is the the apps increased the frequency But the search for perfection or endless opportunities But but this is more the outcome to me. This is the same argument as anything in this world like sports Oh sports is better people are more athletic now because they have all the great nutrition and training from a young age Oh, and then people are mad. Oh, it's so competitive in sports now But i'm like everybody has access to the same training to a certain extent So so it's interesting and one was just uh blaming the human experience another was dating how society blaming how society's changed But this third commenter was blaming the apps saying the apps have a vested interest in creating this like hamster wheel of everybody to Create more profitability. So this is a little bit. I don't know if this is like getting into conspiracy theory territory, but I Hey, that would make the hell of a plot of a movie though, right? If the apps all were like trying to like change dating dynamics to the point to just create profitability But it like ruined society to do the family dynamics Dude the dating apps did not change society. They are a symptom of the changing society before dating apps It was the dating website before dating websites It was you getting introduced by your friends or you meeting people at the club that you thought were good But but maybe people at the same club or the people that are meeting through friends. There's a higher likelihood of matching That's what people are saying because it's not looks based. Yeah, but that's also because society was different Yeah, I mean Did society changed first or did the dating apps come up you guys tell me Well, people are eating a lot of new types of foods nowadays and watching all different types of programs on the internet too So anyway, i'm rolling on self-responsibility on this one guys This person says my daughter went to harvard. She makes big money and she still can't find anyone good She's attractive too. And then somebody said, uh, man, nobody cares about your daughter's academic achievements Of course, this turned into a gigantic argument, you know, because obviously Dude, some people do some people don't right and then some people are just saying, you know, it's all about hypergamy Where a lot of people nowadays, you know, uh, like nobody's religious anymore. So nobody's thinking about, you know Raising that pta life. Yes. So nobody like wants to Live a traditional life, which is also leading to it It's just the desire to not get married and the people people are using the apps to have a series of hookups To delay that feeling of like not wanting to be a boring married person So basically I just cycled into this gigantic thing But obviously some people were blaming the men and saying that in 2023 All men are being manned children for as long as they can because they are enjoying it Right, Leonardo DiCaprio. He is a man child. Yeah, listen, maybe maybe hey, maybe it's the man's fault 60% You know, because women their role, you know, they've always They're always going to be the ones giving birth so they that you can say they have a certain clock or time or whatever But then guys Is that that the guys we're messing up because we want to play around longer It's leo. So you're saying it was leo DiCaprio. Is it the leo? The it did leo ruin things or did the app ruin leo and nick cannon Somebody said it's because of hypergamy because women are always trying to date up when they're already high up That's why your daughter went to harvard can't find anybody She probably wants a six foot harvard grad who got better grades than her earns more than her Is of the same ethnicity or a globally higher ranked ethnicity and that's just way too hard for her to find You know what guys man Yeah, what was the last comment somebody said people used to actually go outside and join groups And nobody does that anymore. Huh? What happened to join you? You need to go join groups You need to go have meetups and meet people in person. It's true 100% And I guess the last comments were all surrounding basically hook up saying that this allows you to get the physical side of a relationship without the emotional time investment of a relationship and uh Somebody said you know due to the apps nowadays There are so many people with such a large number of sexual partners that they are no longer able to pair bond This is a biological thing and this will lead to a much larger demographic collapse So this to and then probably, you know, they didn't say this but i'm again I'm assuming that's when ai steps in is like caremans are no longer recreating It's time for me to dominate. Let me let me tell you something man Whatever you guys want to blame it on the new generation technology contraceptives You want to blame it on the party culture? You want to blame it on the chase of dopamine? You want to blame it on the dating apps? The fact is people are still getting married nowadays whether on or off the app so If you know friends who are not necessarily two beautiful people or two ugly people getting together There's all different types of matches going on people are still getting married and having kids and having families So i'm saying if you talk to your married friends who are young and have dated around You know what they're going to say they're going to say man love Pairings marriage it's a choice you both have to make that decision and commit to each other It is not going to just happen because you magically just I sure hope that taylor swift in uh travis kales workout. Yeah, well don't focus on the celebrities man It is true. Everybody wants to taste everything. Everybody wants to experience everything It is what it is But at the end of the day if you know what you want then you go seek out what you want You know what i mean because people are still getting married people act like nobody's getting married nowadays Yeah, I do think that there's more room for more apps to be developed in the future that are better at matching people for marriage And I think that hinge as a middle of the road app that like is like as a catch-all I don't know. I think it'll have its moment and it's probably in its moment right now But it's hard to believe that it won't niche back out into you know, it's specific silos Yeah, for sure e harmony things like I heard of some people they're in how many dating apps right now that are in ghost mode are developing right now That are based off like a trillion for sure. There's a lot of different niches the league raya Oh meet other exclusive celebrities and like influencers. Oh meet only people who are high earners whatever it is man Yeah, it's there's a bunch of dating apps out there. I think it's on you To understand what the app is and understand what you want if you're trying to play around you get on the apps If you're trying to look for a long-term partner, then you that's what you look for you have to you have to know what you're looking for Number one key. That's my opinion. Hey, listen guys thousands and thousands and thousands of opinions comments ones that You know disagree agree with each other if you don't know what you're looking for you're always going to be lost Let us know what you think in the comment section below guys Very hot topic a lot of people married unmarried got a lot of opinions on it go to smallassos.com until next time Topic but also a nicely hot chili oil. Check it out smallassos.com