 Hi, y'all. She was seven. I'm back. Okay, so this video is going to be about relationship goals Okay, say you are dating someone and things are getting serious or you want them to get serious. What? Do you want to happen? Okay, so this is what a lot of people forget to plan? Okay, a Lot of people say oh just let it happen. Let it be things will fall in place that But if you don't go into something with a plan Anything can happen at least a structure or an outline of what you want the relationship to be needs to be made Okay Because first of all in order to have something you have to know what you want It's like going to a restaurant if you just walk into a restaurant and say oh can you cook this can you cook that? you know and Don't look at the menu or see what they have on the menu or you know Know what type of restaurant and even is before you walk in and you're in a seafood restaurant ordering sushi or You know or you're in a because actually You're in a sushi restaurant ordering macaroni and cheese. It's not gonna work Okay, so you need to know a plan you need to have an outline You need to know what you're working with you need to know what you're going what you want on your menu okay, so Let's say you're dating somebody and you say, okay, this is this is what I want my relationship I want honesty kindness. I want you to be a good man Who's provides? Supports me, you know treats me like this this and that wants to eventually get married and have kids You know or at least work towards that direction. I Don't want someone who's not even focused in that area at this time or who you know does not want to even consider it So you need to know You know what you want before you even start trying to You know get in good with this person or make a commitment to this person because if you want five kids And he don't want any kids and y'all are in a deep relationship for five years and then he says well I'm not doing this. I'm not doing this and you had your heart set on all this You're actually Sacrificing and giving up your dream to stay with someone who you never knew in the first place Okay, because you should know these things before you get involved. Okay, and Remember if if you're one of those kind of ladies who want a bunch of kids or just no kids and the guy does it could be vice versa and You know, they they're gonna feel like they settled and they're gonna be you know It's like, you know, I want it more and they might be you know trying to say well, I want more kids So, you know, I'm gonna go make some more kids or you can feel like oh, I want more kids I'm gonna just have one anyway. I don't care what he thinks and then he's gonna feel pressured And he's gonna like I can't take care of these kids I only had enough money to provide for you and one child or no child at all You know, that's not part of the deal and a lot of ladies get caught up and say oh well if we have a baby It'll change everything. It'll make him do better But if this man had his plan and you didn't and you try to sabotage his plan with your plan to make him a better person Remember, you can't chase people they got to change themselves and they already had this plan and they told you Before entering into the relationship. Look, this is all I want So you can't change the plans later on unless you both are in agreement You can't just sneak behind someone's back and change the plan Unless you are an agreement or unless they change their mind and start to think more like you and you have to be on Agreement with it. Now a lot sometimes this happens by accidents and when women have kids with guys and they'll say Oh, I didn't want kids or too late blah blah blah blah and now you have to work with it and then they wonder why There's trust issues Okay, because when you walk into a relationship, you don't you don't walk into a relationship saying okay I'm gonna get pregnant. I want to have kids. I want to put you on child support I want you to pay everything. That's how the guys are seeing women That's that's why they're afraid because they they think you're gonna trap them or use them, but really It's all But you just want to change them to make them a better person to love you and to honor you and to take care of you But a lot of women do this in the wrong way. Okay, you can't trap a man You can't make them better by having a baby. Okay, he's just gonna resent you and say what could am I? What can my life have been if I had met you? Okay, so Now if you're in a relationship and you're married and you're your husband's like well We're not ready for a baby and you're ready for a baby because I know a lot of people go do this You give him a timeline. Look, I won't have my baby by the time I'm this age So you need to prepare to get ready by this age and he'll say yes or no and if you can't come to agreement just say okay Well, we don't need to be together because it's my plan and obviously we're not on the same page So he's either got to say, okay Well, at least she warned me at least I have fair warning and I can make a decision based on that you don't just pop up one day say hey, I'm pregnant because I Wonder baby, and I know you didn't yet, but I don't care what you think blah blah blah blah blah if it's not an accident like a lot of ladies do this on purpose and Men, you know, they be trying they try to prepare they try to save their little money They try to say okay woman five years. I'll be ready for a baby, but the woman is so emotional She's thinking what he's gonna leave me or if I put a baby on him He'll stay or he'll feel trapped and he won't be trying to you know, do this and that you're already thinking like He's leaving you and you know, that is what probably pushes him over the edge Sometimes when women do this now for me, I Had this in my mom when I was 18 years old or 17 years old I am not having kids until I am married and no shade to any woman who has done that because my mom did it Lots of other people did it and it's not a problem But I said for my personal goal in life because I've seen how the struggle is for women who do this I Said I'm not having kids till I'm married Okay, and I'm not working either I said this when I was 18 and I say this is how it's gonna be I cannot do it any other way If I don't get married, I'm not having kids straight up You know, that's it so I Never had kids until I got married and it works out a lot better Everybody's on the same page same board. They have the resources to provide for the child and the wife and all this kind of stuff everything is planned out on paper straight up Easy and Everybody wins. Okay, so don't get caught up in a motion Well, I love him and we would make a pretty baby together and do that is like Not very intelligent because you're not thinking about the future of you your kids or that relationship You're thinking about this you know, oh This is going to be so perfect. We're gonna be the perfect family, but Never happens that way it rarely happens that way So y'all have to y'all have to use y'all's brains and not your emotions Someone asked me to make a video on how do you control your emotions? You think You use logic Okay, like if you're about to get mad and blow up and do some crazy stuff Think about the consequences before you even consider the action, you know, it's like, okay if I get if I go crazy and you know tear up the place and Scratch somebody's car or break someone's window because I'm mad because they cheated. What's gonna happen to me? Think about yourself first. Well, either I'm gonna get dumped. I might get arrested. This could go on my permanent record I won't be able to work. I won't be able to maintain my lifestyle because I'm not gonna be with him I might be in jail. I might have fines If I got a kid I might lose custody and I can't put all this stuff in your mind before you act stupid or emotional Okay, or you can say okay. Well If you have less problems than that, okay Well, if I always nagging my my man and he don't love me I don't feel loved and I just want to be loved and caressed and he's not into that Think about what you do have instead. Would you sacrifice? a nice house a nice car You know not having to work You know luxury things and life Because you want to kiss somebody Okay, or because you want to be lovey-dovey holding hands and walking through the mall like teenagers So actually that was someone had a question like that for me, you know I'm not gonna name names, but someone did say they're they're the person that they're with Does not show them enough affection anymore and they have everything they want But they want that connection with a man and it's like oh You know romance a true love and stuff like that But that that man has given her the romance and the true love and those type of butterfly feelings Don't want a commitment. Don't want her to leave her man and it's not gonna pay for her Okay, these are the kind of men that won't do nothing for you. So you're willing to risk Your man who's doing everything for you, but he just don't want to be a teenager anymore for this guy who's doing nothing for you tell you he ain't gonna do nothing for you and Hold your hand have sex with you and tell you you're beautiful You're you're you're holding that more valuable than what this other person is doing for you That means you have low self-esteem and you want to be validated by a man, which You know a lot of women feel that way, but once you know who you are You don't need someone to be all over you all the time, you know So Emotions can get in the way of logic and future generations and how your family lives and how your future family lives How good your child performs at school? If your child has everything your child needs if you have everything you need how you are in life How you approach people how you see yourself? Has all to do with how you handle things emotionally like y'all see the trolls in my comments section I don't care. Those things do not make me mad. They make me laugh They're actually comical because when you if you know psychology and you break down someone's comment or insult You just really see how they feel about themselves or what's bothering them what they're lacking or what they're insecure about or Something like that or what they like to attack on women to make them feel insecure about themselves So that they can get more attention from them for making them feel like this. Okay, that's the oldest trick in the book We all know any man who's wasting his time watching the video and gonna comment and and put down a woman is very weak Okay, so we don't value your opinion. Anyway, you're like low on the total poll to us so we wouldn't even talk to you in real life if you pass this by on the street and You should be lucky that anybody acknowledges you in the comments because You wouldn't even exist to us in real life. Okay. Keep going That's what's funny. I mean if I was if I was a man who couldn't get a teacher from a woman I'd be trolling on videos to just so I can get some attention, you know But hey, you gotta get it somewhere if you can't get it in real life, right? Anyway so I think I like how a Lot of people handle it, you know They just either delete it or they get if you get mad and go into an emotional rant and start typing back You shouldn't say that that hurts people's feelings and you're not me I see a lot of people I see a lot of youtubers do this You're not very nice. You just gave them power over you, you know, and you don't care what somebody thinks Then nothing is going going to affect you like you're just gonna be numb. You're gonna be like, okay, that's nice I'm glad you think that way whatever whatever You should be lucky. I'm even talking to you and knowledge of you. Okay That's how you should be like you're like a Lot of people call it being a sociopath But in this day and age when you have people against against you So much you have to be a sociopath because if you don't you know, if you take everything seriously and emotionally You're gonna be an emotional wreck and you're gonna be no good to anyone. Okay So yes control your emotions by being extra confident by thinking about The effect that it's gonna cause if you act this way Okay, a lot of people when they're young they have trouble controlling their emotions But if you consciously work on it, you consciously say hey I feel like I'm being extra emotional in this argument or in this situation What would a man do because men don't think emotionally. Well, man of yesterday I don't know men today think very emotional But how would an older man handle the situation? Would they would they put logic in place and And then you put your emotion in the logic on a scale and you balance things out Okay, you say okay. Well, if I overreact he's gonna get mad and leave I don't want him to leave. That's the whole reason. I'm mad because I love him and this this and that so Why don't I just you know Say, okay. Well, you know we We need to have a discussion about our future plans. I love you so much I just want to see if we're both on the same page instead of you don't ever talk about us being again And if you do you don't love me are you gonna be with me? Are you cheating? I'm you know going all emotional have an intelligent Conversation treat him like he's smart or something. You know treat him like a human being don't wine and say Because that pushes people away and that turns people off an over-emotional person think about how when y'all see those man in the Commons being over-emotional how much of a turnoff that is That's sick. I don't even like it and I'm a woman, you know Use your logic and your emotion combine them together and say things to get what you want Like if you're at work and you're trying to get a promotion You're not gonna go on your off the office of your boss and start crying and say why you deserve this Promotion because you work in place. Oh, aren't you gonna you're gonna present yourself in a professional logical way and Represent yourself because you know you deserve that. Okay, you're gonna use your brain So do the same thing in relationships to control your emotions ladies It's all business anyway. All right. I'll see y'all later. Bye