 The Crab Foods Company presents The Great Gilder Sleeve. Gilder Sleeve starring Harold Perry brought to you by The Crab Foods Company, makers of Parquet Margarine, and a complete line of famous quality food products. Let's see what's been happening to Gilder Sleeve. Well, it's plenty. Into the quiet town of Summerfield via the U.S. Mail, a bomb has dropped. Everyone who is anyone in Summerfield has received this morning a creamy white envelope roughly four by six with a postmark of Savannah, Georgia. No bargain offer this. Eagerly we pry open the flap taking care not to cut our fingers or fine and crisp the stationery inside a second envelope with our name inscribed upon it, nothing else. We pause a moment to admire the penmanship and dive inside again. Ah, a whispered tissue paper flutters to the floor. We rub our thumb across the engraving, our eyes focus, and behold. Mr. and Mrs. Tupper Hathaway requests the honor of your presence at the marriage of their niece, Leela Berrington-Ranson, to Dr. Julian Henry Culpepper. On October 9th, 1946, at half after four, Church of the Rebellion, Savannah, Georgia. Yes, the whole town's talking about it. Long before breakfast, the neighbor's cook, Lily B, came hot-footing it across the street and around the kitchen door with the news. So, though the invitation lies unopened beside Gilder Sleeve's plate at breakfast, Birdie knows for well what's in it, and she's briefed the children accordingly. Now, remember what I told you, LeRoy, be nice to him. I always am. Well, a little nicer than that. You got to realize, LeRoy, this is liable to be kind of hard on your uncle. Mrs. Ranson getting married like that. Why, she isn't marrying him. Well, LeRoy, have you no feeling? Sure. On second thought, I think I'll just shove the invitation out of sight here under his butter plate. Here he comes. I just act like nothing happened. Remember now, like nothing happened. Ah, good morning. Ah, good morning, good morning, good morning. I said, good morning. Morning, Mr. Gilder Sleeve. I'll go get your breakfast right away. Marjorie? Ah, good morning, Anki. LeRoy, no word of greeting for your uncle? Ah, hi. Well, what are you two staring at? LeRoy, will you pass the sugar? Excuse me for not passing it before. I didn't know that she didn't have it. Oh, that's all right. I guess I've had the salt things. I just wanted the sugar for my cocoa. Ah, marmalade. You want some marmalade? Oh, but thank you just the same. No, that's all right. Anything you want, just ask for it. Extraordinary. No mail come this morning? Daddy, you want the salt? Just say mine. She just had the salt. What's going on here? Birdie, did no mail come this morning? What'd you say? I asked if there wasn't any mail this morning. No, sir. That is hardly any. Just the one thing there. What thing? Whatever it is. Well, where? Where is it? Under the butter plate. Under the fine plate. I better run out of the kitchen. See if anything's burning. What's the matter with her? Hmm. Savannah, Georgia. I'll have the sugar now, Leroy, if you feel you can spare it. Aren't you gonna open it? Leroy. Later. Just a wedding invitation for Mrs. Ransom. How about that sugar? What's the matter with you? Boy, it's birdie full of baloney. W-w-when did you find out, Anki? Find out what? About Mrs. Ransom. Getting married? Oh, I've known about that for a long time. She told me last night. She said she wanted me to be the first to know. And you don't mind? No. That was all over years ago. Lila's a fine girl. I wish her every happiness. But as far as I'm concerned, birdie, what's keeping you out there? Mr. Gillsleeve, did you... Uncle Mark's ready, birdie. You can take his place. Oh, and incidentally, he knows all about everything, so you don't need to worry. Yeah, don't worry about me. Mr. Gillsleeve, it ain't none of my business, of course, but I just want you to know I... Well, I just want you to know that's all. See, I made you some nice milk toast this morning. Milk toast? What for? Well, I knew you wouldn't probably be feeling so good, and there ain't nothing that sits easy on the stomach in time of trouble in milk toast. I can't stand milk toast, birdie. What do I want with milk toast anyway? I feel fine. See, I... Doorbell. I'll go. Let birdie. I'll get it. Yes, yes. He'd been a very few minutes, birdie. Mr. Gillsleeve, I won't stay but a few minutes. He's right in the dining room there. Well, hello, Judge. Gillsleeve, old man. What are we shaking hands for? Good morning, Judge. Hi. Marjorie, Leroy. I wonder if I could have a word with your uncle in private. Just for a moment. Certainly. We've got to go to school anyway. What's up, Judge? Gillsleeve, old man, anything I can do, anything at all. You know that, old man. Just call on me. Call on you for what? Anything. Are you planning to go to the office today? Certainly. Good. I hope you're the best medicine, they say. I'd offered to drive you down, but I think the walk would do you good. The important thing is not to let this prey on your mind. I know how you feel, old man. I don't want you to think that I'm... I feel fine. That's the stuff. Try to keep that up. It's the only way to hold on to yourself. Chin up. Never admit for a minute even to yourself... Listen, you've got me all wrong, Horace. I feel fine. You. Keep telling yourself that. Listen, you old goat. I feel fine. You understand? I feel fine. I'm fine. I didn't think we'd be seeing you today. I don't know why not. I'm in here all the time. I guess it might as well take some cigars as long as I'm here. Pee-vee, I'd like some cigars. Mr. Gillsleeve, well, there are some things that are very hard for a man to say, but we'd like you to know, Mrs. Pee-vee and I, that we'd like you to come to dinner. Well, that's very nice. I'd be delighted to come. I'm an older man than you are, Mr. Gillsleeve, and I've had my share of disappointments too. I'd just like to say that I know how you feel. What's the matter with everybody? I feel fine. You hear that, Pee-vee? I feel fine. Good morning, Bessie. Oh, Mr. Gillsleeve. Huh? Oh, I don't know what to say, but... Don't say it. Bessie? Yes, sir? What are these? What, sir? On my desk here. They're roses. Get them out of here. I'm sorry, Bessie, but I can't stand all this sympathy. God's a man who has no private life of his own in this town. You try to wind up something quietly, and the next morning everybody's looking at you. Everybody bunting in and telling you they know how you feel. Don't you try to tell me how I feel. I feel fine. I'm very happy about the whole thing. Yes, sir. Good. Somebody came in. See who it is. You who? Anybody here? Lila, now what the... Oh, good morning. In and dandy, Lila. Never better. Oh, I'm glad to see you taking it this way. I knew you would. You have so much character. Yeah. They love you, Throckmauer. Over at nine o'clock in the morning. Gracious. I've been up for hours. I'm trying to get everything packed for when I go home for the wedding. And do you know something awful? I can't get half my things into my trunks. Maybe it better just give up the whole idea. Oh, silly. I wondered if you'd mind too terribly much just expressing a few things for me. No, of course not. The only thing is I haven't anything to pack them in. You'd have to get some crates or something. But you wouldn't mind. No. It would only take you a couple of evenings, probably. I'll give you a key in case I'm not there, my share. All right. A couple of evenings? Quite a lot of it. I think it's terribly generous of you to offer to do it, Throckmauer. And I can't tell you how grateful I am. I know Julian Henry will be grateful, too. Julian Henry. You know, I think you're just a little bit jealous of Julian Henry. I wish you every happiness, Lila. Ah, come on now. Fish up. Aren't you just a little teensy bit jealous? Nope. You miss me just a little when I'm gone? I have a very busy winter ahead, Lila. I have lots of plans. Lots of plans. You're chopping to do hairdress a million things. Oh, oh, I almost forgot. What? My handbag over there, will you? I was cleaning out some old trash this morning and I came across these. What? Don't tell me you don't recognize your own handwriting. They are letters, silly. You've kept them all these years, what for? Oh, because they were so sweet. But I thought it was only fair to let you have them back now that they don't mean anything anymore. Besides, I wouldn't want Julian Henry finding them, would I? Wait, don't you want the ribbon? I'll leave you. What are the letters? What a fool I was. Well, I know what to do with them. Oh, wait a minute. Maybe I ought to burn those if I remember it correctly. I wouldn't want Bessie. Not that she would. Smell nice. Sashay, I guess. She must have had them among her things. That was four years ago. Let's see. My dear, darling, beloved Lila. I didn't sleep a wink all last night. All night long, I lay awake thinking of you. Once I got up and went to my open window where the moon was shining in. As I stood there, gazing up at it, I thought to myself, that same moon is shining down upon my darling Lila, clear across the vacant lot there. I looked across and I could see your house and your own dear bedroom window. It was open a little, but made me wish that I were a little moonbeam and could steal in and nestle softly on the pillow beside your cheek. Oh, Lila, I love you so. I think if the day ever comes when we're no longer... when we're no longer confounded when I got up this morning, I felt perfectly all right. And gildersly bare up, we'll find out in a few moments. Mr. Lang, if it isn't one thing, it's another. Now that more wheat flour is available for baking my favorite rolls and muffins, it seems harder than ever to find a really good spread to serve with them. Well, of course, all spreads for bread are very scarce right now. Yes, but the one I mean is parquet margarine. It's been my family's favorite for years. In fact, that's one reason my rolls and muffins taste so good. Parquet adds such delicious flavor. But as I was saying, just try to find parquet in the food stores when you want it. I know just what you mean, but here's the picture. Try as we may at Kraft. We just can't seem to catch up with the demand for parquet margarine. We're continuing to make as much parquet as available supplies permit. And we're rushing it to your food dealer, flavor fresh and country sweet, always of the same high quality that has made parquet a favorite spread of millions. So be sure to look first for parquet when you shop. Your dealer will have it for you from time to time, so ask for parquet, P-A-R-K-A-Y, parquet margarine, made by Kraft. Let's get back to the great Gilderslee who is now thoroughly convinced his heart is broken. What to do? He finally decides you put on a brave face and seek the consolation of masculine companionship with the Jolly Boys Club. Let's peep into the club now where, though Gilderslee has not arrived, he is the subject of conversation. Poor old Gilderslee. He's been fooling around with that woman for a long time. Four or five years at least. Think of all the dough he must have spent on her. Floyd, must you be crass? Yes, crass. What the heck is that? Well, figure it out for yourself. A picture show here, a meal there, mounts up in a few years. Where does it get him? First guy that comes along with a half a carrot diamond, Gilderslee gets the pink slip. Oh, it doesn't seem right. How's he taking it? Anybody seen him? I ain't seen him, but I'll give eight to five. Gilderslee ain't losing any sleep over it. He'll have to make some new arrangements, that's all. I happen to disagree with you, Floyd. I think he's taking this thing pretty hard. Have you seen him, PB? Yes, I saw him. Well, what did you think? I don't think he liked it. My opinion, it's a real blow to him, a real blow. Poor old Gilderslee. Well, that's the way it goes sometimes. Yes, sir. That's the way it goes. Get here. Well, for crying out loud, we don't have to act like a funeral. Let's get a card game going here or something. Come on, PB. Well, I might pay for a few minutes. Just see how the card here ends. Last time you said that, you took away six bucks and a half. Hey, I think I hear somebody coming. Sounds like Gilderslee. I never thought he'd feel up to this. Let's be real nice to him. A fellow jolly boy that's had a tough break. Yeah. Well, jolly boys. Chief Gates says I live and breathe. And did you catch a lot of crooks today? How are you, Commissioner? And Judge Hooker, the old spirit of Heaviest Corpus. I get it. And Floyd, the tonsorial artist. And Peavey, the merry pharmacist. Greetings, one and all. Hi, Commissioner. You seem to be in good spirits, Mr. Gilderslee. Why shouldn't I be? That's what I told him, Commissioner. I shut up, Floyd. Why, what's the matter? Mr. Gilderslee, the boys were telling me you were down in the mouth about your girlfriend dumping you. I don't care for the way you put it. You know, I mean about Mrs. Ransom getting married. Anyway, I stuck up for you. I said you'd roll with the punch and come up smiling. That's right, Floyd. That's me. Often a bride's made, but never a bride. But I can take it. Who do I care? That's a spirit. No, sir, Leela is a fine girl. I wish her every happiness. I think you're being very generous, Gildy. Yes, I guess I am. Fellows, I have a suggestion. Listen, we all know Mrs. Ransom. She's been on a lot of outings at the Jolly Boys' Club. How about it? I was thinking it'd be a real nice gesture if the club would all chip in and buy her a wedding present. That is, if Mr. Gilderslee has no objection. Oh, no. A nice gesture, chief, as you say. I'd like to put that in the form of a motion. I second it. What do you say, Peavey? Don't you agree this is a proper and friendly gesture for the Jolly Boys to make? Yeah, what kind of a present would it be? We can think about that later. Are you in favor of the idea? Well, I wouldn't say I'm against it. Oh, you make me tired. Now, judge, let's not be impatient with friend Peavey. We just don't want to buy a pig in a poke, that's all. The way I look at it, Peavey, we should get her something substantial and at the same time reasonably priced. What did you have in mind? Well, say we was all to put in $2 a piece. That's $10. Get her a... Well, let's see. A piece of tapestry makes a nice gift. Yeah, a piece of tapestry to hang on the wall. Then every time she looked at it, she'd think of the Jolly Boys back in Summerfield. What will her husband think when he looks at it? Oh, quit worrying, Peavey. Are you with us or not? Well, go along after us, will. That's a boy. Chief. What is it, Commissioner? You got a different idea for the gift? Oh, no, no. I think the tapestry is fine. Only, well, naturally, in my position, I'll be expected to give her a present myself. Something fairly substantial. So I'm afraid I won't be able to contribute to the club kitty. Oh. Well, maybe we can get a tapestry for $8. It don't have to cover the entire wall. Okay, Judge? Yeah. Okay, Peavey? Okay, Floyd? No, it ain't okay. Well, I don't see why we should buy her a present in the first place. Well, why not? Because she'd done a dirty trick to a fellow Jolly Boy. That's why... Now, Floyd? And she can't... Mr. Horace, please. Floyd, I appreciate your sentiment. As I said before, Leela is a fine girl. I wish her every happiness. Well, well, and good. But just to say she'd done you a... No. She's found someone she loves. That's all that really matters. It takes a real man to say a thing like that. You're so right, Chief. I mean it, fellas. If Leela can find happiness with his fellow, raise a family, perhaps. I'm not standing her way. Say, what about the card game we were starting here? Let's get going. How about a song? That's a better idea. A song. Okay, come on, guys. How about this one? Oh, the moonlight's there tonight along the water. That's good. Okay. From the keepser comes a breath of new morning. No, Floyd. Go ahead and play that one. Okay, Commissioner. Get us all a Coke while you're at it. Never should have started that song. That's perfectly okay, Commissioner. You're among friends. Thanks. And when a fellow gets a blow like you got... She's a fine girl. I wish her every opportunity. I'd just... I'd... Well, I'd just like to say, Commissioner, I know how it is. Oh, no, Chief, you're happily married. Yes, yes, I am. But there was a girl ahead of my wife. I... Well, I thought I'd never get over it. Yeah, yeah. I'd just as leaf you didn't mention at the Hazel. Of course. Play a little cards, Commissioner. I don't know, Floyd. I feel so... Seeing you feel so lousy, the boys might make a special concession. We'd play bridge just for you. How about it? Thanks, Floyd. I don't think I could keep my mind on it. Just let him sit there and drink his Coke. In your hard, hard world. Well? We're just going to sit around like this all night? No, Judge. Drink your Coke and be quiet a minute. Feeling a little better, Mr. Gilder-Sleeve? I think the Coke is helping. I might remind you, fellows, that Gilder-Sleeve is not the only man around here who feels a sentimental pain at Mrs. Ransom's decision. Ah, quit trying to horn in on the sympathy. Well... Let's do something. Yeah, let's do whine. Yeah, whine. I don't know. Boy, this is a dead town. When's Halloween? I don't know. October, November. Boy, we used to have some real fun on Halloween when I was a kid. Kids nowadays don't have the kind of fun we had. Good thing, too. Halloween's a bad night for the police department. I remember one trick we used to pull. We'd take and set somebody's garbage pail up on the railing of the porch. Kind of balance it there, see? Then tie a string on it and fasten the string to the doorknob and then ring the doorbell. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Garbage all over the place. We didn't do it. The guy done it himself when he opened the door. That keeps it perfectly legal. Fellas, let's go out and dump over somebody's garbage pail. Are you joking, Mr. Gilder-Sleeve? No, I'm not. That's just what I feel like doing tonight. Come on, Floyd, are you game? Well, I'm game if the rest are. How about it, Peeve? Come on, it'll take ten years off of you. Well, I'd be willing to watch. Good old Peevee. Whose pail shall we dump over it? How about Judge Hooker? Oh, no, he's here. I certainly am. Well, who's it be? Fellas, how about Mrs. Ransom? Commissioner. Gilder, you really mean it? Certainly, I mean it. After all, look what she did to me. Let's dump again. I'm a great Gilder-Sleeve again in just a minute. One of the questions we're asked most often is, when is there going to be more parquet margarine in the food stores? Frankly, we don't know. But our best guess is that the shortage may extend over a period of several months. That doesn't mean, of course, that there'll be any less parquet produced. Crafts, modern margarine plants are continuing to make as much parquet as present supplies permit. And just as quickly as more fine American vegetable oils are made available through government allocation, craft will be ready to speed up production. Meanwhile, we're distributing parquet as fairly as we know how, with your food dealer's splendid cooperation. He'll have parquet for you from time to time. So be sure to look first when you shop for delicious, flavor-fresh parquet. P-A-R-K-A-Y. Parquet margarine, made by Craft. Just a reminder, ladies and gentlemen, that two more fine programs are joining NBC's great Wednesday night lineup this evening. Immediately following this program over most of these stations, you will hear Duffy's Tavern with Ed Gardner's Archie. And, of course, Mr. District Attorney as usual, and following that, Frank Morgan as the fabulous Dr. Tweedy. Good night, folks. The Great Guilder Sleeve is played by Harold Perry. It was written by John Tweedy and Sam Moore. The music is by Jack Meaton, included in the cast of Walter Tattlee as Lee Roy, Lillian Randolph as Burley, and Shirley Mitchell as Leila Ransom. Judge Hooker as Earl Ross and Dick LeGrand plays Mr. Peepe. This is John Lang saying good night for the Craft Foods Company and inviting you to listen in again next Wednesday for the further adventures of The Great Guilder Sleeve. Through the children in your family like fine cheese, then you can just bet they'll love Pabstette. It's so rich and mellow cheddar cheese flavor, so easy to digest. Pabstette is a cheese food that contains nourishing food values of milk and it's simply delicious on bread or crackers or melted into a luscious sauce for hot vegetables, eggs and macaroni. Why not buy both delicious varieties? Pimento Pabstette in the red package and Golden Cheddar Pabstette in the familiar round yellow package. Get Pabstette at your food store tomorrow.