 Ladies and gentlemen, the American Broadcasting Company brings transcribed to its entire network one of radio's most unusual programs Pat Novak or higher Pat Novak for hire Pat Novak for hire Down on the waterfront in San Francisco. You always bite off more than you can chew It's tough on your windpipe, but you don't go hungry And down here a lot of people figure it's better to be a fat guy in a graveyard than a thin guy in a stew That way you can be sure of a tight fit Well, I rent boats and do anything else that makes a sound like money It works out. All right. If your mother doesn't mind you coming home for Easter in a box. I Found that out Wednesday night about nine o'clock. I closed the shop early and I came home to read It wasn't a bad book if you ever wanted to start a forest fire It was one of those historical things and the girl in it wandered around like a meat grinder and ribbons That was moving along. All right She was just getting her second wind before going after the world's record when the door to my apartment opened and the place began to get kind of crowded Where I sat the crowd looked good She saw it in moving slowly from side to side like a hundred and eighteen pounds of warm smoke Her voice was all right to Reminded you of a furnace full of marshmallows. Good evening Yeah, thanks for knocking. I don't think you mind my coming in without warning No, I get the cabin smell from next door the same way. Does it pay to be that polite Mr. Novak saves you the trouble saying please What's on your mind that bottle in front of you will you pour me a drink? No, I won't you'll save dough if you look up a bartender All right, I came to use you instead of your whiskey anyway. Let's hear my name is Lee into wood I'll give you $300 to do something for me. It'll only take an hour. That's too much dough unless it's a murder And if it is murder, it's not enough dough. Are you afraid? I just don't like paid murder I told you when you get caught the pain gets expensive if it were murder. I do it myself Mr. Novak, I want you to frighten someone for me. Why don't you hire a friend? Are they too pretty? It's a man named Dixie Gillian. You'll find him in an office down on Folsom Street at this address I promise nothing will happen to you. That's what they told Benedict Arnold. He'll be in this office until 11 tonight I want you to go in its scene tell him you're from Adrian and then he's to get out of town by tomorrow noon Suppose he wants to put it off. He won't Don't let him know who hired you. Just tell him Adrian said to leave Look lady, you better go on home for 300 bucks. I won't buy a tissue paper plot now. Tell me more say goodbye There's not much more. I can't tell you except there won't be any trouble There's a rotten little beast and I want him frightened badly. Why you've been bothering my sister That isn't bother you because I bother back too fast You want the 300 mr. Novak? It's gonna be a long summer put it on the table good and you'll need this too No, you keep that. I don't want a gun. It's empty. Don't worry See no shells. It's perfectly safe. Now look sis. I got a nasty disposition You can rent that for 300 bucks, but if you want more find a gun, so I don't want you to be a gun That's why I want you to use this gun. I know it's empty use it on Dixon. He'll scare fast It's just a way to say some breath. All right, it's your 300. You'd better go now. Yeah, wait. I get it If your doorbell rings don't play mouse Oh because I may look you up am I too young to ask why because if anything goes wrong I'll be around looking for you from there on it won't be nice I'll dirty you up like a locker room towel relax You'll never learn to fall in love that way she handed me the gun and walked out of my apartment Seeing her leave made you feel like Frank Buck losing an argument She walked with a nice easy swing of a satisfied leopard for a small leopard. She had pretty good spots, too Well, I put the gun in my overcoat pocket and I went down a Folsom Street The address was down near the bridge entrance and the street was deserted except for a couple of winos near the corner Trying to buy back 1926 at a dollar a jug. I Stopped in front of the place. It was a machinery company And I could see a light burning in the back. I Began to walk through the place Was so quiet you could hear a worm with whooping cough and there were enough shadows around to keep a ghost happy for years When I got to the office back in the corner through the glass I could see a man sitting at the desk When I opened the door and walked in he didn't seem surprised Come on in mister You're bad on noise. Yeah, that's right You make too much for a thief and not enough for a customer What do you want? How about ten words if you're a Dixie Gillian go ahead. You better look up a timetable What makes you that tough this? Well, you look tougher with a gun. Does it make you talk faster? Oh look, I'm gonna say it's slow, mister Pack up your robbers and get out. Is that you talking or somebody else? I'm just the guy with a gun Adrian does the talking And he says get out. That's right. You got the whole message now All right, you told me so wander out and spend your dough. I will oh you'll need part of it though Because I'm gonna give you an answer for Adrian I'm gonna take that gun away from you, mister You can pick the pieces out of your head on the way home. You better stand back or I'll share it with you You've got your offer mister. Let's see you make good. I'll save your muscle fella God save your muscle fella the guns empty Somebody fool us mister. Sometimes you can get a home run with a half swing. That's the way it was this time He couldn't have made it with a prayer book in both hands He slid down to the floor and trembled for a minute and then flattened out like a leaf in a pool of water Just before he died he grabbed his side as if he didn't like the way it hurt and then he didn't care I Rolled him on his back and let him look at the ceiling His eyes were open and he looked surprised like a guy who didn't figure on a change in the weather There was a scar that ran across his forehead and dug deep into his hairline And he was lying there with a bunch of pink gum showing as if he was trying to pick up a few bucks with a toothpaste ad Well, I didn't have time to tell him how sorry I was because of homicide caught me here I'd have about as much chance as a canary in a basement full of cats. I Started for the door, but right then I knew I could start ordering bird seed It was Helman and he walked over to look at the body Hello, Novak. The guy looks embarrassed. Yeah, I guess he is Helman. What's he doing dead? Putting in a beef somewhere. I guess he rates it. He'll like you for that Novak How did happen a team play we worked it out together, but you've got the gun That's right. I got the gun You feel like a bet no just keep stealing the old way You know how I feel Novak you feel flabby to anybody else, but to yourself I suppose you feel good Look, I walked in here with a gun there was some quick fight talk and I killed him But it's still not a good wrap I can get a long price on it for you know that I'll bet you can Helman You can give me a bad deal But part of the time it'll be from the other side of the deck worse than that Novak It'll be all the time and I want to watch you because I think you're gonna be a crybaby I'm gonna scream if that's what you mean Helman I'm gonna scream about a gal that sent me in here with an empty gun That's a big hole for a cap pistol Novak. I got a last-minute curve. It was empty once. Yeah That's the only way they make a gun. I Don't want you for an hour ago. I want you for this dead guy on the floor. All right All right, I told you I didn't come in here to kill the guy. I don't know him. He may even be a good guy I'm sorry. He's dead. All right. No back. Just wait a few weeks. You can tell him personally Someone had me up against the rail and he knew it When we left there, he was wearing a big toothy smile. It was big enough to sew on his ears He called the coroner and told him to pick up the stiff and then we rode downtown He dropped the gun into ballistics and hauled me into his office The reporters were there. He gave them the whole story and told him how to spell Helman After that we wound up at the desk and he booked me on suspicion of murder The next hour and a half was the kind of stuff they don't write about in the paper They call it interrogation and when you're finished you've been through a lot of tight spots like an atom up at Caltech About 11 o'clock Helman brought me into his office and from there on it happened kind of fast I just talked to the DA. He's gonna streamline things for you Well, he's gonna look funny going to trial on a guy. You can't identify we'll find out all about the dead guy You can't count his fingers without making a mistake if you want to know who he is talk to that girl Her name is Lee Underwood. We've been through all that Novak now. Suppose you tell me who Dixie Gillian is I don't know Helman the girl said his name was Dixie Gillian. I won't press you. I don't have to Novak I've got the only parlay. I need you the dead guy in a big fat murder gun sure Yeah, Helman talking Yeah, I know it was a 38 They're crazy down in ballistics. I saw him standing over the dead guy They must have made a mistake. That's all No, no, I don't want him in here. I don't want him in here. Hey Tony Tony I'm getting pale you need some more rouge Helman. I Got some bad news inspector. Well keep it or you'll take more home to your wife I'll talk to you later. I'll talk to him now Helman if that bullet doesn't match the gun talk to him now That's right inspector a 38 bullet, but it won't match the gun you brought in It's got a match I came in and found him standing there. He's already admitted it It's a neat trick then if he fired the bullet out of that gun he retooled it midair I'm not that fast Helman come on get out of that chair so you'll have room to squirm you keep still Novak I won't bother you. I'm going home. I'm walking out of your jail Helman You got a broken down 38 that won't fit anything but your thumbs you can't hold me on that I found you over the body. I can hold you on suspicion of murder But it'll hurt tomorrow morning Helman the papers will be down for a follow-up and you'll have to tell him What it looks like out in left field I'll handle them they can't afford to let them start laughing at you people get the idea it's your face You can save car fare if you stay right here because I'll have your back bite noon tomorrow You're not that good Helman you couldn't hold a moth of a search like the town ought to thank you What oh it's a nice jail Helman with you around it'll last for years When I walked out of headquarters I had a nice mess to juggle It was like trying to walk the baby on a floor full of marbles If things didn't add up for Helman they weren't going to do any better for me I knew that gun I had went off if it did what happened to the bullet and where did the other one come from And why weren't there two shots Well, I couldn't put my finger on a thing and nothing added up It was like trying to follow a grain of rice in a Shanghai suburb So I looked up lee interwoods address and I went by her apartment The girl downstairs told me that she worked at a nightclub out on the bay shore highway Now I had to hit a couple of places so I look up the only honest guy I know An ex doctor in a boozer by the name of jaco madigan A good man until he began to figure the last drink in the bottle is just as easy to get at as the first I found him in a little leather trim sink on powell street It was a grimy little hole where they washed the glasses once a week in stale beer But jaco was more at home than a vulture and calcutta Ah Patsy or just in time to celebrate my return to health Something mild for mr. Novak a double stinger perhaps. No forget it jaco. I gotta talk to you patsy I've just passed through a crisis a few minutes ago They set before me a glass with a woman's lipstick all around the ring All right jaco I took one gulp and looked at the glass and in this dim light. I thought I was bleeding to death It took them 10 minutes and three mirrors to calm me down jaco. I'm in trouble. You gotta help me But they washed the glass for me in ammonia They must have left a little ammonia in the glass because the next drink had a very odd tang about it I've had three more just like it. I sort of ammonia collins all right all right so far They've been using domestic ammonia when the imported stuff comes in I may give up whiskey all together Calm down will you jaco? I got a bum shake tonight. Yes. I either killed a guy or thought I did that uses up the alternatives What are you doing now taking a vote? I got hired to scare a guy down on Folsom street 10 minutes later The guy was dead pat see you take your work too seriously Couldn't you have just scared him into a lingering illness instead of killing him? One of the props was an empty gun only when the fight came it grew bullets helman walked in right after on a telephone tip What are you doing out of the gas chamber? The whole thing backfired down at headquarters The bullet and the phony gun wouldn't match. Oh, it doesn't add up jaco. That called a helman's a tip off I was framed, but why wasn't I framed all the way? Who is the dead man? Just a guy with a falling blood count his name was supposed to be Dixie Gillian, but there's no identification and no record on him You shouldn't have hired out as a gun. I told you I didn't hire out as a gun So it was somebody else's idea you have no conscience pat see it's just a sort of soap opera rule of thumb You put into practice now and then but no real conscience You'd let a dying woman lie in the middle of the highway unless her head was resting on a pile of savings bonds All right, jaco. I'll cry with you later. I need help now what sort of help I want you to break into a girl's apartment. Yes, don't worry. She won't be home Ah, is that supposed to be an incentive? It's at this address here up on O'Farrell. Her name is lee underwood She's the one who hired me if the girl's not there What am I supposed to find anything that'll connect her with a dead man? He's a big guy with a scar That doesn't help much you can't miss go through the desk and drawers pick up everything you can Will you and leave a message at my place as soon as I finish this drink? Oh hurry up. Will you jaco leave the glass alone and get going don't rush me hurry up? Will you the glass is empty anyway? Yes, that's what you thought about that gun But the fellow got an awful jolt out of it. Good night lover I went by a horse parlor on O'Farrell street and borrowed a car from a guy It was after midnight when I started down the bay shore highway and About a half hour later. I pulled up in front of the cat's paw Was a long rambling place on the left side of the road There was no plan. It just followed the erosion line until they ran out of material It was enough neon in front to light a main intersection in heaven In the lobby, I saw a picture of lee underwood one of those shadowy things It was supposed to make you think she'd die in a cold climate She was sitting at a piano with a little microphone in front of her and you got the idea right away She didn't have much of a voice but plenty of songs that made your wife lean over and ask you to explain I asked a 50 year old bus boy and he said she was back in her dressing room getting ready for the one o'clock show When I walked in she was sitting in front of a mirror working on an upswept hairdo If she swept it up anymore it was going to leave her head I stood behind her looking at the pink fresh part of her neck that didn't show when the hair was down You seem fascinated Betsy No, I just want to know where to break it. Oh Sit down on the footstool next to me That's it I like to look down on people Let me brush that strand of hair back Or do you like it in your eyes? No brush it back so I can see your answers. Who's Dixie Gillian? What difference does it make none to him and some to me he's dead No, I couldn't be dead. Yeah, well, he'd like to believe that too I couldn't sell him that story about an empty gun. He couldn't have been killed with that gun No, no, I put in a blank passie. Somebody used a hard-working bullet because Dixie's dead. There was no reason to kill him I don't understand. Yeah, well, that makes you even with homicide, but they got a bigger team Now look, I made a diagram angel up at my place. I ran over murder with you. I don't like it If you kill people, you don't get invited out enough. So if you were me on this one, I'm going to push you all away Don't understand it Betsy. Who's Dixie Gillian? He was after some microfilm. I thought I could scare him away You better be ready to identify him because homicide stopped even that scar didn't help What scar? The scar across his face. There's no record on him. No, no, Betsy Everything goes wrong. Everything you touch goes wrong That's the wrong man, Betsy Yeah, well, it's too late for a recount. You've got to get to that body, Betsy I don't know how, but somewhere you've got to get to him I'll make a nice picture. Wait a minute, Dixie. You don't need your coat Come on. I don't know how it happened, Dixie. I didn't mean it that way. If you like it that way, all right Bring your boyfriend too. No, don't let him, Betsy The gun's too big. I'm going with him There was a short trip. He led us out of the dressing room and down a thin hall to the back door On the way past the kitchen, you could smell onions and used grease and That's about all you noticed except the sound of a jukebox somewhere out in front And somebody laughing in a loud, mirthless way When we got to the door, it was raining outside We walked about 40 feet over near some trees where the dark was working overtime And the gunsole made her stop Pick your spot, Lee. You can't be that crazy, Dixie She's gonna get wet, mister. You'll have a little trouble yourself I woke up. It was still raining. I was lying on top of the mud like a stubborn seed My wallet was gone and the gunsole had ripped open my pockets I stood up and walked over for a last look at Lee The rain had washed the makeup off her face And she looked small and tired as she lay there Like a broken doll that had been tossed out in the rain I guess she was Well, I got to my car and I drove back to town I checked my place, but there was no word from Jaco. So I went up to Lee's apartment When I opened the door the room was dark, but I knew somebody was on the rug Either that or they'd varnished the floor with bourbon I flipped on the light and bent over Jaco Hey, hey, wake up, Jaco. All right, Jaco. Come on. Wake up. Come on A little ammonia. A little ammonia, I think, would bring me around What happened? I was sapped, I guess Everybody's got the same act tonight Help me up Where have you been? I went down to meet the girl Where'd you meet her in a swimming pool? I've been in the rain all night. She's gonna stay longer What'd you find out? The fellow with the skies, her husband. Yeah There's a picture in the desk. Are there any more pictures? A few. Take a look We're in here. Yes Well, well Who's he? It must be Dixie Gillian. He was down to pay off a debt tonight. She called him Dixie once There's a note with that name and an address in the other drawer. He's our boy. We better get up there Not if he's already killed two other people. We can't wait for helman if he gets away I'm all through I won't have a leg to stand on that's my point when the other fellow gets through with us We won't have much standing to do I felt better now Gillian was the only guy left in the picture. So I dragged jaco up to his place It was an apartment upon post street The elevator operator took us up to the eighth floor and said that Gillian had come in a few minutes before There was no answer. So we tried the door and it was open Jaco didn't like the idea Folly risking my life is one of the bravest things you do keep still jaco What are we supposed to do the door was open when that saw a lot of graves? But I've never been tempted. Hey look at the furniture. There's been a fight in here I'll look in here. You checking the bedroom, huh? If I'm not right back. Don't expect me at all. All right Patsy. Yeah, patsy come here. All right. There's something on the fire escape. Come here stand back here Oh, he's not moving. He was leaning that way when I first saw him. All right, I'll get on this side. You raise the window Now go easy jaco Can you see him from there? Raise it a little more. All right He's still leaning there. I can reach out. All right. Watch yourself if he's kidding you'll lose an arm I've got it. Good. Raise the window more. Okay. Patsy he's falling. Give me a hand. Oh here. Let me through there It's too late. I can't hold it. Hang on jaco. He's falling. Oh, I'm sorry Well, he was probably dead anyway if he wasn't that was a step in the right direction Now it was an easy night to die Three of them had checked out already and there was still time to look for more Jaco and I went downstairs to see the guy It was lying face down in the alley and as you look at him you got the funny feeling he belonged there He didn't disturb the scene. He just fitted in like a dirty wet newspaper under a grandstand There was a gun in his pocket probably the same one that killed the girl, but there was no way of knowing Jaco and I watched him for a minute, but your eyes begin to hurt when you see your only warm lead in a deep freeze Was passed to when I got down to headquarters and looked up helman I briefed him on the girl and the guy in the alley and then I asked him if any microfilm had turned up on the first guy in the morgue That was a waste of time helman couldn't find a brass ring in a dead man's nose But we went over to the morgue for another look So far it was working out like a crossword puzzle torn in half It's your time. No bank. I got more after tomorrow. You haven't the microfilm must be on the guy Three people have been killed for it when I got roughed up just for laughs. We searched the guy once And here it is all right Help me roll it out. Yeah Well, well He sure got thin under that sheet didn't wait a minute. Oh you run a good morgue helman What'll the paper say when they hear the stiff got up and walked out? They got him in the wrong place or something. He didn't walk out. Well, he's gone helman. You got an answer He's been moved. I tell you the guy was dead and I saw him put in here Couldn't be walking around with a hole in the middle of his back I don't know helman. You do it with one in your head. Don't sell the guy short When helman found out the body was gone He stood there and stared at the empty slab And then he started looking around in a nervous way like a man trying to find the sugar bowl at a restaurant counter A few minutes later he turned and walked out of the morgue and we were halfway downtown when it happened It must have hit us at the same time sharp and quick like a piece of candy and a bad tooth The guy back in the alley had come off that slab in the morgue We got out to dixie's place and we began to check There was a phone operator downstairs and she said that dixie had put through a call about two hours ago Helman checked the number and it was the ticket office of a railroad We got downtown and ran through the timetable. There was a train leaving the oakland mole in about 40 minutes Well, it was an outside chance, but tonight that was the only kind for sale We got down in time to slide on the last ferry over to the mole It was still dark out when the ferry pulled away from the slip and started across the bay But over toward the berkeley hills. It was beginning to get light The sky was the color of a bruise spot on a man's arm We'll get up to the pallet house and tell him not to dark until we've gone through all the passengers He doesn't have to be on this one. We'll check the train when we get there Wait a minute You don't have to check There's your boy. Where up there on the rail. See now. You better go easy helman. He's not a scale model Walk quietly until we're behind him. All right, turn around mister You'll get a better view Hello, no thank How was the wind and the rain in your hair meet inspector helman? You better turn in your ticket. I hope you brought your muscle Grab him helman All right, copper watch it and be pissed over on the rail. I'm worried helman watch it. No back. I'm going over here It's one down mister Now for you Handed on the deck and watched him disappear into the dark halfway down the guy turned in I got up and followed him down the ladder and along the main deck He ducked into one of the engine spaces and I started in the look form It didn't take long because he turned out to be real helpful You got the idea yet. No back. I'll come closer. Tell me then suit yourself But I'll knock you down hard when you show What's that platform you're backing into trouble stay back there. No back watch out for that platform Will you you're backing into the engine? Ah, I wound up last Yeah, that's the way it looks Did you get the microfilm? Yeah, I got a big hurt Does it show? A little it's been a long night. No back. Huh? Yeah, but your worries are over. It's almost dawn I don't know if I can use it But I'll give it to you I'll slick a few minutes later If the first time his hair ever looked good Fixie Gillian lasted long enough to piece the story together for homicide Lee Underwood knew her husband was carrying microfilm and she was worried so she hired me to scare off Gillian Oh, it might have worked too But the first slip came when Lee's husband went by to make a deal with Dixie without telling her When I jumped him Dixie was outside and figured it was a double cross So he killed him with a silencer when that phony gun that Lee gave me went off Dixie knew that the microfilm was still on the dead man The only way it could be sure was to get the body out of the morgue He took it up to his apartment and when he got the film he planted the gun and put the body on the fire escape It was a little safer that way It was a 50-50 chance the police had missed it the first time around and he'd have a fair lead Almost worked out for him except for that phone call The microfilm was in a capsule next to the roof of the guy's mouth so old it was new again Well, Helman asked only one question In that fight, did I have anything to do with pushing him against the rail? I told him sometimes those ferry boats roll as much as 45 degrees The American Broadcasting Company has just brought you the tenth of a new series Pat Novak for hire Starring Jack Webb Pat Novak is produced and directed by William B. Russo Jack O'Matigan is played by Tudor Owen Inspector Helman is played by Raymond Burr Music was composed and conducted by Basil Adlum Be with us again next week when over most of these same ABC stations we'll bring you Pat Novak for hire This program came to you transcribed from Hollywood This is ABC the American Broadcasting Company