 someone said to me the other day when I try to set a boundary people tell me it sounds more like an ultimatum to them and more of a threat than a boundary but the difference between an ultimatum and a boundary is intent an ultimatums intent is to control and dominate and gain power over someone with the ultimatum a boundary is about safety and relationship protection and preservation so don't be put off setting boundaries because someone says to you sounds like a threat to me the difference is in the intent and if your intent is to look after yourself and preserve relationships not destroy them preserve them keep them intact that's what boundaries do then don't be justifying over explaining or apologizing because you know the difference between the intent to dominate and control and the intent to protect and preserve relationships that you value what that helps cheers