 CHAPTER XI. Littlehead Mrs. Dashwood or her daughters imagined when they first came into Devonshire that so many engagements would arise to occupy their time as shortly presented themselves, or that they should have such frequent invitations and such constant visitors as to leave them little leisure for serious employment. Yet such was the case. When Marianne was recovered, the schemes of amusement at home and abroad, which Sir John had been previously forming, were put into execution. The private balls at the park then began, and parties on the water were made and accomplished as often as a showery October would allow. In every meeting of the kind, Willoughby was included, and the ease and familiarity which naturally attended these parties were exactly calculated to give increasing intimacy to his acquaintance with the Dashwoods, to afford him opportunity of witnessing the excellencies of Marianne, of marking his animated admiration of her, and of receiving, in her behavior to himself, the most pointed assurance of her affection. Eleanor could not be surprised at their attachment. She only wished that it were lest openly shown, and once or twice did venture to suggest the propriety of some self-command to Marianne. But Marianne had poured all consummate where no real disgrace could attend unreserve, and to aim at the restraint of sediments which were not in themselves illaudible appeared to her not merely an unnecessary effort, but a disgraceful subjection of reason to commonplace and mistaken notions. Willoughby thought the same, and their behavior at all times was an illustration of their opinions. When he was present she had no eyes for anyone else. Everything he did was right. Everything he said was clever. If their evenings at the park were concluded with cards he cheated himself and all the rest of the party to get her a good hand. If dancing formed the amusement of the night they were partners for half the time, and when obliged to separate for a couple of dances were careful to stand together and scarcely spoke a word to anybody else. Such conduct made them, of course, most exceedingly laughed at, but ridicule could not shame and seemed hardly to provoke them. Stashwood entered into all their feelings with a warmth which left her no inclination for checking this excessive display of them. To her it was but the natural consequence of a strong affection in a young and ardent mind. This was the season of happiness to Marianne. Her heart was devoted to Willoughby, and the fond attachment to Norland which she brought with her from Sussex was more likely to be softened than she had thought it possible before by the charms which his society bestowed on her present home. Eleanor's happiness was not so great. Her heart was not so much at ease, nor her satisfaction in their amusements so pure. They afforded her no companion that could make amends for what she had left behind, nor that could teach her to think of Norland with less regret than ever. Neither Lady Middleton nor Mrs. Jennings could supply to her the conversation she missed, although the latter was an everlasting talker, and from the first had regarded her with a kindness which ensured her a large share of her discourse. She had already repeated her own history to Eleanor three or four times, and had Eleanor's memory been equal to her means of improvement, she might have known very early in their acquaintance of all the particulars of Mr. Jennings's last illness and what he said to his wife a few minutes before he died. Lady Middleton was more agreeable than her mother only in being more silent. Eleanor needed little observation to perceive that her reserve was a mere calmness of manner with which sense had nothing to do. Towards her husband and mother she was the same as to them, and intimacy was therefore neither to be looked for nor desired. She had nothing to say one day that she had not said the day before. Her insipidity was invariable, for even her spirits were always the same, and though she did not oppose the parties arranged by her husband, provided everything were conducted in style, and her two eldest children attended her, she never appeared to receive more enjoyment from them than she might have experienced in sitting at home. And so little did her presence add to the pleasure of the others by any share in their conversation that they were sometimes only reminded of her being amongst them by her solicitude about her troublesome boys. In Colonel Brandon alone, of all her new acquaintance, did Eleanor find a person who could in any degree claim the respect of abilities, excite the interest of friendship, or give pleasure as a companion. Willoughby was out of the question. Her admiration and regard, even her sisterly regard, was all his own, but he was a lover. His attentions were holy Mariannes, and a far less agreeable man might have been more generally pleasing. Colonel Brandon, unfortunately for himself, had no such encouragement to think only of Marianne, and in conversing with Eleanor he found the greatest consolation for the indifference of her sister. Eleanor's compassion for him increased, as she had reason to suspect that the misery of disappointed love had already been known to him. This suspicion was given by some words which accidentally dropped from him one evening at the park, when they were sitting down together by mutual consent, while the others were dancing. His eyes were fixed on Marianne, and after a silence of some minutes he said with a faint smile, �Your sister, I understand, is not a proof of second attachments.� �No,� replied Eleanor, �her opinions are all romantic. Or rather, as I believe she considers them impossible to exist.� �I believe she does, but how she contrives it without reflecting on the character of her own father, who had himself two wives, I know not. A few years, however, will settle her opinions on the reasonable basis of common sense and observation, and then they may be more easy to define and to justify than they now are, by anybody but herself.� �This will probably be the case,� he replied, �and yet there is something so amiable in the prejudices of a young mind that one is sorry to see them give way to the reception of more general opinions.� �I cannot agree with you there,� said Eleanor. �There are inconveniences attending such feelings as Marianne's, which all the charms of enthusiasm and ignorance of the world cannot atone for. Her systems have all the unfortunate tendency of setting propriety at naught, and a better acquaintance with the world is what I look forward to as her greatest possible advantage.� After a short pause he resumed the conversation by saying, �Does your sister make no distinction in her objections against the second attachment? Or is it equally criminal in everybody? Are those who have been disappointed in their first choice, whether from the inconstancy of its object, or the perverseness of circumstances, to be equally indifferent during the rest of their lives?� �Upon my word, I am not acquainted with the minutiae of her principles. I only know that I had never yet heard her admit any instance of a second attachment being pardonable.� �This,� said he, �cannot hold, but a change, a total change of sentiments. No, no, do not desire it. For when the romantic refinements of a young mind are obliged to give way, how frequently are they succeeded by such opinions as are but too common and too dangerous? I speak from experience. I once knew a lady who in temper and mind greatly resembled your sister, who thought and judged like her, but who from an enforced change, from a series of unfortunate circumstances.� Here he stopped suddenly, appeared to think that he had said too much, and by his countenance gave rise to conjectures which might not otherwise have entered Eleanor�s mind. The lady would probably have passed without suspicion, had he not convinced Miss Dashwood that what concerned her ought not to escape his lips. As it was, it required but a slight effort of fancy to connect his emotion with a tender recollection of past regard. Eleanor attempted no more. But Marianne, in her place, would not have done so little. The whole story would have been speedily formed under her active imagination and everything established in the most melancholy order of disastrous love. CHAPTER XII As Eleanor and Marianne were walking together the next morning, the latter communicated a piece of news to her sister, which in spite of all that she knew before of Marianne's imprudence and want of thought, surprised her by its extravagant testimony of both. Marianne told her, with the greatest delight, that Willoughby had given her a horse, one that he had bred himself on his estate in Somersetshire, and which was exactly calculated to carry a woman. Not considering that it was not in her mother's plan to keep any horse, that if she were to alter her resolution in favour of this gift, she must buy another for the servant and keep a servant to ride it, and, after all, build a stable to receive them, she had accepted the present without hesitation, and told her sister of it in raptures. He intends to send his groom into Somersetshire immediately for it, she added, and when it arrives we will ride every day. You shall share its use with me. Imagine to yourself, my dear Eleanor, the delight of a gallop on some of these downs. Most unwilling was she to awaken from such a dream of felicity to comprehend all the unhappy truths which attended the affair, and for some time she refused to submit to them. As to an additional servant the expense would be a trifle. Mama, she was sure would never object to it, and any horse would do for him. He might always get one at the park. As to a stable the nearest shed would be sufficient. Eleanor then ventured to doubt the propriety of her receiving such a present from a man so little, or at least so lately known to her. This was too much. You are mistaken, Eleanor, said she warmly. In supposing I know very little of Willoughby. I have not known him long indeed, but I am much better acquainted with him than I am with any other creature in the world, except yourself and Mama. It is not time or opportunity that is to determine intimacy. It is disposition alone. Seven years would be insufficient to make some people acquainted with each other, and seven days are more than enough for others. I should hold myself guilty of greater impropriety in accepting a horse from my brother than from Willoughby. Of John I know very little, though we have lived together for years, but of Willoughby my judgment has long been formed. Eleanor thought it wisest to touch that point no more. She knew her sister's temper. Opposition on so tender a subject would only attach her the more to her own opinion. But by an appeal to her affection for her mother, by representing the inconveniences which that indulgent mother must draw on herself, if, as would probably be the case, she consented to this increase of establishment, Marianne was shortly subdued, and she promised not to tempt her mother to such imprudent kindness by mentioning the offer, and to tell Willoughby when she saw him next that it must be declined. She was faithful to her word, and when Willoughby called at the cottage the same day, Eleanor heard her express her disappointment to him in a low voice on being obliged to forego the acceptance of his present. The reasons for this alteration were at the same time related, and they were such as to make further entreaty on his side impossible. His concern, however, was very apparent, and after expressing it with earnestness he added in the same low voice, But Marianne, the horse is still yours, though you cannot use it now. I shall keep it only till you can claim it. When you leave Barton to form your own establishment in a more lasting home, Queen Mab shall receive you. This was all over her by Miss Dashwood, and in the whole of the sentence, in his manner of pronouncing it, and in his addressing her sister by her Christian name alone, she instantly saw an intimacy so decided, a meaning so direct, as marked a perfect agreement between them. From that moment she doubted not of their being engaged to each other, and the belief of it created no other surprise than that she, or any of their friends, should be left by tempers so frank to discover it by accident. Margaret related something to her the next day, which placed this matter in a still clearer light. Willoughby had spent the preceding evening with them, and Margaret, by being left some time in the parlor with only him and Marianne, had had opportunity for observations, which were the most important face she communicated to her eldest sister when they were next by themselves. Oh, Eleanor! she cried. I have such a secret to tell you about Marianne. I am sure she will be married to Mr. Willoughby very soon. You have said so, replied Eleanor, almost every day since they first met on High Church down, and they had not known each other a week, I believe, before you were certain that Marianne wore his picture round her neck, but it turned out to be only the miniature of our great uncle. But indeed this is quite another thing. I am sure they will be married very soon, for he has got a lock of her hair. Take care, Margaret. It may be only the hair of some great uncle of his. But indeed, Eleanor, it is Marianne's. I am almost sure it is, for I saw him cut it off. Last night after tea, when you and Mama went out of the room, they were whispering and talking together as fast as could be, and he seemed to be begging something of her, and presently he took up her scissors and cut off a long lock of her hair, for it was all tumbled down her back, and he kissed it, and folded it up in a piece of white paper, and put it into his pocketbook. For such particulars stated on such authority Eleanor could not withhold her credit, nor was she disposed to it, for the circumstance was in perfect unison with what she had heard and seen herself. Margaret's sagacity was not always displayed in a way so satisfactory to her sister, when Mrs. Jennings attacked her one evening at the park to give the name of the young man who was Eleanor's particular favorite, which had been long a matter of great curiosity to her. Margaret answered by looking at her sister and saying, I must not tell, may I, Eleanor? This of course made everybody laugh, and Eleanor tried to laugh too, but the effort was painful. She was convinced that Margaret had fixed on a person whose name she could not bear with composure to become a standing joke with Mrs. Jennings. Mary Ann felt for her most sincerely, but she did more harm than good to the cause by turning very red and saying in an angry manner to Margaret, Remember that whatever your conjectures may be you have no right to repeat them. I never had any conjectures about it, replied Margaret. It was you who told me of it yourself. This increased the mirth of the company and Margaret was eagerly pressed to say something more. Oh, oh, pray, Miss Margaret, let us know all about it, said Mrs. Jennings. What is the gentleman's name? I must not tell, ma'am, but I know very well what it is, and I know where he is, too. Yes, yes, we can be sure where he is, at his own house at Norland, to be sure. He is the curate of the parish, I dare say. Know that he is not. He is of no profession at all. Margaret, said Marianne, with great warmth. You know that all this is an invention of your own and that there is no such person in existence. Well, then, he is lately dead, Marianne, for I am sure that there was a man once and his name begins with an F. Most grateful did Eleanor Field to Lady Middleton for observing at this moment, that it reigned very hard, though she believed the interruption to proceed less from any attention to her than from her ladyship's great dislike of all such inelegant subjects of railery as delighted her husband and mother. The idea, however, started by her, was immediately pursued by Colonel Brandon, who was on every occasion mindful of the feelings of others, and much was set on the subject of reign by both of them. Willoughby opened the Piano Forte and asked Marianne to sit down to it, and thus amidst the various endeavours of different people to quit the topic, it fell to the ground. But not so easily did Eleanor recover from the alarm into which it had thrown her. A party was formed this evening for going on the following day to see a very fine place about twelve miles from Barton, belonging to a brother-in-law of Colonel Brandon, without whose interest it could not be seen, as the proprietor, who was then abroad, had left strict orders on that head. The grounds were declared to be highly beautiful, and Sir John, who was particularly warm in their praise, might be allowed to be a tolerable judge, for he had formed parties to visit them at least twice every summer for the last ten years. They contained a noble piece of water, a sail on which was to form a great part of the morning's amusement, cold provisions were to be taken, open carriages only to be employed, and everything conducted in the usual style of a complete party of pleasure. To some view of the company it appeared rather a bold undertaking, considering the time of year, and that it had reigned every day for the last fortnight. Emises Dashwood, who had already a cold, was persuaded by Eleanor to stay at home. CHAPTER XIII. Their intended excursion to Whitwell turned out very different from what Eleanor had expected. She was prepared to be wet through, fatigued, and frightened, but the event was still more unfortunate, for they did not go at all. By ten o'clock the whole party was assembled at the park where they were to breakfast. The morning was rather favourable, though it had rained all night, as the clouds were then dispersing across the sky, and the sun frequently appeared. They were all in high spirits and good humour, eager to be happy, and determined to submit to the greatest inconveniences and hardships rather than be otherwise. While they were at breakfast the letters were brought in. Among the rest there was one for Colonel Brandon. He took it, looked at the direction, changed colour, and immediately left the room. What is the matter with Brandon? said Sir John. Nobody could tell. I hope he has had no bad news, said Lady Middleton. It must be something extraordinary that could make Colonel Brandon leave my breakfast table so suddenly. In about five minutes he returned. No bad news, Colonel, I hope, said Mrs. Jennings as soon as he entered the room. Not at all, ma'am, I thank you. Was it from Avignon? I hope it is not to say that your sister is worse. No, ma'am, it came from town, and is merely a letter of business. But how came the hand to discompose you so much, if it was only a letter of business? Come, come, this won't do, Colonel, let us hear the truth of it. My dear madam, said Lady Middleton, recollect what you are saying. Perhaps it is to tell you that your cousin Fanny is married? said Mrs. Jennings without attending to her daughter's reproof. No indeed it is not. Well then, I know who it is from, Colonel, and I hope she is well. Whom do you mean, ma'am? said he, colouring a little. Oh, you know who I mean. I am particularly sorry, ma'am, said he, addressing Lady Middleton, that I should receive this letter today, for it is on business which requires my immediate attendance in town. In town, cried Mrs. Jennings, what can you have to do in town at this time of year? My own loss is great, he continued, in being obliged to leave so agreeable a party, but I am the more concerned, as I fear my presence is necessary to gain your admittance at Whitwell. What a blow upon them all was this. But if you write a note to the housekeeper, Mr. Brandon, said Marianne, eagerly, will it not be sufficient? He shook his head. We must go, said Sir John. It shall not be put off when we are so near it. You cannot go to town till tomorrow, Brandon, that is all. I wish it could be so easily settled, but it is not in my power to delay my journey for one day. If you would but let us know what your business is, said Mrs. Jennings, we might see whether it could be put off or not. You would not be six hours later, said Willoughby, if you were to defer your journey till our return. I cannot afford to lose one hour. Eleanor then heard Willoughby say, in a low voice to Marianne, There are some people who cannot bear a party of pleasure. Brandon is one of them. He was afraid of catching cold, I daresay, and invented this trick for getting out of it. I would lay fifty guineas the letter was his own writing. I have no doubt of it, replied Marianne. There is no persuading you to change your mind, Brandon. I know of old, said Sir John, when once you are determined on anything. But however I hope you will think better of it. Consider! Here are the two Mr. Harrys come over from Newton, the three Miss Dashwoods walked up from the cottage, and Mr. Willoughby got up two hours before his usual time, on purpose to go to Whitwell. Colonel Brandon again repeated his sorrow at being the cause of disappointing the party, but at the same time declared it to be unavoidable. Well, then, when will you come back again? I hope we shall see you at Barton, added her ladyship, as soon as you can conveniently leave town, and we must put off the party to Whitwell till you return. You are very obliging, but it is so uncertain, when I have it in my power to return, that I dare not engage for it at all. Oh! he must and shall come back, cried Sir John. If he is not here by the end of the week, I shall go after him. I so do, Sir John, cried Mrs. Jennings, and then perhaps you may find out what his business is. I do not want to pry into other men's concerns. I suppose it is something he is ashamed of. Colonel Brandon's horses were announced. You do not go to town on horseback, do you? added Sir John. No, only to Honiton. I shall then go post. Well, as you are resolved to go, I wish you a good journey, but you had better change your mind. I assure you it is not in my power. He then took leave of the whole party. Is there no chance of my seeing you and your sisters in town this winter, Miss Dashwood? I am afraid none at all. Then I must bid you farewell for a longer time than I should wish to do. To Marianne he merely bowed and said nothing. Come, Colonel, said Mrs. Jennings, before you go, do let us know what you are going about. We wish you a good morning, and attended by Sir John, left the room. The complaints and lamentations which politeness had hitherto restrained now burst forth universally, and they all agreed again and again how provoking it was to be so disappointed. I can guess what his business is, however, said Mrs. Jennings exultingly. Can you, ma'am? said almost everybody. Yes, it is about Miss Williams, I am sure. And who is Miss Williams? asked Marianne. What? Do you not know who Miss Williams is? I am sure you must have heard of her before. She is a relation of the Colonel's, my dear, a very near relation. We will not say how near, for fear of shocking the young ladies. Then lowering her voice a little, she said to Eleanor. She is his natural daughter. Indeed! Oh, yes, and is like him as she can stare. I daresay the Colonel will leave her all his fortune. When Sir John returned he joined most heartily in the general regret on so unfortunate an event, concluding, however, by observing that as they were all got together they must do something by way of being happy, and after some consultation it was agreed that although happiness could only be enjoyed at Whitwell, they might procure a tolerable composure of mine by driving about the country. The carriages were then ordered, Willoughbys was first, and Marianne never looked happier than when she got into it. He drove through the park very fast, and they were soon out of sight, and nothing more of them was seen till their return, which did not happen till after the return of all the rest. They both seemed delighted with their drive, but said only in general terms that they had kept in the lanes while the others went on the downs. It was settled that there should be a dance in the evening, and that everybody should be extremely merry all day long. Some more of the carriages came to dinner, and they had the pleasure of sitting down nearly twenty to table, which Sir John observed with great contentment. Willoughby took his usual place between the two elder Miss Dashwoods. Miss Jennings sat on Eleanor's right hand, and they had not been long seated before she leant behind her in Willoughby, and said to Marianne, loud enough for them both to hear, I have found you out in spite of all your tricks, I know where you spent the morning. Marianne coloured, and replied very hastily, Where pray? Did you not know, said Willoughby, that we had been out in my curicle? Yes, yes, Mr. Imprudence, I know that very well, and I was determined to find out where you had been to. I hope you like your house, Miss Marianne. It is a very large one, I know, and when I come to see you I hope you will have newly furnished it, for it wanted it very much when I was there six years ago. Marianne turned away in great confusion. Miss Jennings laughed heartily, and Eleanor found that in her resolution to know where they had been she had actually made her own woman inquire of Mr. Willoughby's groom, and that she had by that method been informed that they had gone to Allenham and spent a considerable time there in walking about the garden and going all over the house. Eleanor could hardly believe this to be true, as it seemed very unlikely that Willoughby should propose, or Marianne consent, to enter the house while Mrs. Smith was in it, with whom Marianne had not the smallest acquaintance. As soon as they left the dining-room Eleanor inquired of her about it, and great was her surprise when she found that every circumstance related by Mrs. Jennings was perfectly true. Marianne was quite angry with her for doubting it. Why should you imagine, Eleanor, that we did not go there, or that we did not see the house? Is not it what you have often wished to do yourself? Yes, Marianne, but I would not go while Mrs. Smith was there, and with no other companion than Mr. Willoughby. Mr. Willoughby, however, is the only person who can have a right to show that house, and as he went in an open carriage it was impossible to have any other companion. I never spent a pleasanter morning in my life. I am afraid, replied Eleanor, that the pleasantness of an employment does not always evince its propriety. On the contrary, nothing can be a stronger proof of it, Eleanor, for if there had been any real impropriety in what I did I should have been sensible of it at the time, for we always know when we are acting wrong, and with such a conviction I could have had no pleasure. But my dear Marianne, as it has already exposed you to some very impertinent remarks, do you not now begin to doubt the discretion of your own conduct? If the impertinent remarks of Mrs. Jennings are to be the proof of impropriety and conduct, we are all offending every moment of our lives. I value not her censure any more than I should do her commendation. I am not sensible of having done anything wrong in walking over Mrs. Smith's grounds or in seeing her house. They will one day be Mr. Willoughby's and— If they were one day to be your own, Marianne, you would not be justified in what you have done. She blushed at this hint. But it was even visibly gratifying to her, and after a ten minutes interval of earnest thought, she came to her sister again and said with great good humour, Perhaps, Eleanor, it was rather ill-judged in me to go to Allen Hem, but Mr. Willoughby wanted particularly to show me the place, and it is a charming house, I assure you. There is one remarkably pretty sitting-room upstairs of a nice comfortable size for constant use, and with modern furniture it would be delightful. It is a corner-room, and it has windows on two sides. On one side you look across the bowling-green, behind the house, to a beautiful hanging wood, and on the other you have a view of the church and village, and beyond them of those fine, bold hills that we have so often admired. I did not see it to advantage, for nothing could be more forlorn than the furniture, but if it were newly fitted up, a couple of hundred pounds, Willoughby says, would make it one of the pleasantest summer-rooms in England. Could Eleanor have listened to her without interruption from the others, she would have described every room in the house with equal delight. CHAPTER XIV This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. This recording is by Mark Smith of Simpsonville, South Carolina. CHAPTER XIV The sudden termination of Colonel Brandon's visit at the park, with his steadiness in concealing its cause, filled the mind and raised the wonder of Mrs. Jennings for two or three days. She was a great wanderer, as every one must be who takes a very lively interest in all the comings and goings of all their acquaintance. She wondered, with little intermission what could be the reason of it, was sure there must be some bad news, and thought over every kind of distress that could have befallen him with a fixed determination that he should not escape them all. Something very melancholy must be the matter, I am sure, said she, I could see it in his face. Poor man, I am afraid his circumstances may be bad. The estate at Delaford was never reckoned more than two thousand a year, and his brother left everything sadly involved. I do think he must have been sent for about money matters, for what else can it be? I wonder whether it is so. I would give anything to know the truth of it. Perhaps it is about Miss Williams, and by the by, I dare say it is, because he looks so conscious when I mentioned her. Maybe she is ill in town. I think in the world more likely, for I have a notion she is always rather sickly. I would lay any wager it is about Miss Williams. It is not so very likely he should be distressed in his circumstances now, for he is a very prudent man, and to be sure must have cleared the estate by this time. I wonder what it can be? Maybe his sister is worse at Avignon, and has sent for him over. This setting off in such a hurry seems very likely it. Well, I wish him out of all his trouble with all my heart, and a good wife into the bargain. So wondered, so talked Mrs. Jennings, her opinion varying with every fresh conjecture, and all seeming equally probable as they arose. Eleanor, though she felt really interested in the welfare of Colonel Brandon, could not bestow all the wonder on his going so suddenly away, which Mrs. Jennings was desirous of her feeling. For besides that the circumstance did not in her opinion justify such lasting amazement or variety of speculation, her wonder was otherwise disposed of. It was engrossed by the extraordinary silence of her sister and Willoughby on the subject, which they must know to be peculiarly interesting to them all. As this silence continued, every day made it appear more strange and more incompatible with the disposition of both. Why they should not openly acknowledge to her mother and herself what their constant behaviour to each other declared to have taken place Eleanor could not imagine. She could easily conceive that marriage might not be immediately in their power, for though Willoughby was independent there was no reason to believe him rich. His estate had been raided by Sir John at about six or seven hundred a year, but he lived at an expense to which that income could hardly be equal, a had himself often complained of his poverty. But for this strange kind of secrecy maintained by them relative to their engagement, which in fact concealed nothing at all, she could not account, for it was so wholly contradictory to their general opinions and practice that a doubt sometimes entered her mind of their being really engaged, and this doubt was enough to prevent her making any inquiry of Marianne. Nothing could be more expressive of attachment to them all than Willoughby's behaviour. To Marianne it had all the distinguishing tenderness which a lover's heart could give, and to the rest of the family it was the affectionate attention of a son and a brother. The cottage seemed to be considered in love by him as his home, many more of his hours were spent there than at Allenham, and if no general engagement collected them at the park, the exercise which called him out in the morning was almost certain of ending there, where the rest of the day was spent by himself at the side of Marianne and by his favourite pointer at her feet. One evening in particular, about a week after Colonel Brandon left the country, his heart seemed more than usually opened every feeling of attachment to the objects around him, and all Mrs. Dashwood's happening to mention her design of improving the cottage in the spring, he warmly opposed every alteration of a place which affection had established as perfect with him. What, he exclaimed, improved this dear cottage? No, that I will never consent to. Not a stone must be added to its walls, not an inch to its size if my feelings are regarded. Do not be alarmed, said Mrs. Dashwood. Nothing of the kind will be done, for my mother will never have money enough to attempt it. I am heartily glad of it, he cried. May she always be poor if she can employ her riches no better. Thank you, Willoughby, but you may be assured that I would not sacrifice one sentiment of local attachment of yours or of any one whom I loved for all the improvements in the world. Depend upon it that whatever unemployed some may remain when I make up my accounts in the spring I would even rather lay it uselessly by than dispose of it in a manner so painful to you. But are you really so attached to this place as to see no defect in it? I am, said he. To me it is faultless. Nay, more I consider it as the only form of building in which happiness is attainable, and were I rich enough I would instantly pull Colby down and build it up again in the exact plan of this cottage. With dark narrow stairs and a kitchen that smokes, I suppose, said Eleanor. Yes, cried he in the same eager tone, with all and everything belonging to it, in no one convenience or inconvenience about it should the least variation be perceptible. Then and then only under such a roof I might perhaps be as happy at comb as I have been at Barton. I flatter myself, replied Eleanor, that even under the disadvantage of better rooms and a broader staircase you will hereafter find your own house as faultless as you now do this. There certainly are circumstances, said Willoughby, which might greatly endear it to me, but this place will always have one claim of my affection which no other can possibly share. Mrs. Dashwood looked with pleasure at Marianne, whose fine eyes were fixed so expressively on Willoughby, as plainly denoted how well she understood him. How often did I wish, added he, when I was at Allingham this summer twelve-month, that Barton cottage were inhabited. I never passed within view of it without admiring its situation and grieving that no one should live in it. How little did I then think that the very first news I should hear from Mrs. Smith when I next came into the country would be that Barton cottage was taken, and I felt an immediate satisfaction and interest in the event which nothing but a kind of prescience of what happiness I should experience from it can account for. Did it not have been so, Marianne, speaking to her in a lowered voice, then continuing his former tone, he said, and yet this house you would spoil, Mrs. Dashwood, you would rob it of its simplicity by imaginary improvement, and this dear parlor in which our acquaintance first began, and in which so many happy hours have been since, spent by us together, you would degrade to the condition of a common entrance, and everybody would be eager to pass through the room which is hitherto contained within itself more real accommodation and comfort than any other apartment of the handsomest dimensions in the world could possibly afford. Mrs. Dashwood again assured him that no alteration of the kind should be attempted. You are a good woman, he warmly replied. Your promise makes me easy. Extend it a little farther, and it will make me happy. Tell me that not only your house will remain the same, but that I shall ever find you and yours as unchanged as your dwelling, and that you will always consider me with the kindness of which has made everything belonging to you so dear to me. The promise was readily given, and Willoughby's behavior during the whole of the evening declared at once his affection and happiness. Shall we see you to-morrow to dinner? Did Mrs. Dashwood, when he was leaving them, I do not ask you to come in the morning, for we must walk to the park to call on Lady Middleton. He engaged to be with them by four o'clock. Chapter 15 of Sense and Sensibility This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. This recording is by Mark Smith of Simpsonville, South Carolina. Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen. Chapter 15 Mrs. Dashwood's visit to Lady Middleton took place the next day, and two of her daughters went with her, but Marianne excused herself from being of the party under some trifling pretext of employment, and her mother, who concluded that a promise had been made by Willoughby the night before of calling on her while they were absent, was perfectly satisfied with her remaining at home. On their return from the park they found Willoughby's curicle and servant in waiting at the cottage, and Mrs. Dashwood was convinced that her conjecture had been just. So far it was all as she had foreseen, but on entering the house she beheld what no foresight had taught her to expect. They were no sinner in the passage than Marianne came hastily out of the parlor, apparently in violent affliction, with her handkerchief at her eyes, and without noticing them ran upstairs. Surprised and alarmed they proceeded directly into the room she had just quitted, where they found only Willoughby, who was leaning against the mantelpiece with his back towards them. He turned round on their coming in, and his countenance showed that he strongly partook of the emotion which overpowered Marianne. Is anything the matter with her? cried Mrs. Dashwood as she entered. Is she ill? I hope not, he replied, trying to look cheerful, and with a forced smile presently added, it is I who may rather expect to be ill, for I am now suffering under a very heavy disappointment. Disappointment? Yes, for I am unable to keep my engagement with you. Mrs. Smith has this morning exercised the privilege of riches upon a poor dependent cousin by sending me on business to London. I have just received my dispatches, and taken my farewell of Allenham, and by way of exhilaration I am now come to take my farewell of you. To London, and are you going this morning? Almost this moment. This is very unfortunate, but Mrs. Smith must be obliged, and her business will not detain you from us long, I hope. He colored as he replied, You are very kind, but I have no idea of returning into Devonshire immediately. My visits to Mrs. Smith are never repeated within the twelve-month. And is Mrs. Smith your only friend? Is Allenham the only house in the neighborhood to which you will be welcome? For shame will it be, can you wait for an invitation here? This color increased, and with his eyes fixed on the ground he only replied, You are too good. Mrs. Dashwood looked at Eleanor with surprise. Eleanor felt equal amazement. For a few moments everyone was silent. Mrs. Dashwood first spoke. I have only to add, my dear Willoughby, that at Barton Cottage you will always be welcome, for I will not press you to return here immediately, as you only can judge how far that might be pleasing to Mrs. Smith. And on this head I shall be no more disposed to question your judgment than to doubt your inclination. My engagements at present, replied Willoughby confusedly, are of such a nature that I dare not flatter myself. He stopped. Mrs. Dashwood was too much astonished to speak, and another pause succeeded. This was broken by Willoughby, who said with a faint smile. It is folly to linger in this manner. I will not torment myself any longer by remaining among friends whose society it is impossible for me now to enjoy. He then hastily took leave of them all and left the room. They saw him step into his carriage, and in a minute it was out of sight. Mrs. Dashwood felt too much for speech, and instantly quitted the parlor to give way in solitude to the concern and alarm which the sudden departure occasioned. Eleanor's uneasiness was at least equal to her mother's. She thought of what had just passed with anxiety and distrust. Willoughby's behavior in taking leave of them, his embarrassment and affectation of cheerfulness, and above all his unwillingness to accept her mother's invitation, of backwardness so unlike a lover, so unlike himself, greatly disturbed her. One moment she feared that no serious design had ever been formed on his side, and the next that some unfortunate quarrel had taken place between him and her sister. The distress in which Marianne had quitted the room was such as a serious quarrel could most reasonably account for. Though when she considered what Marianne's love for him was, a quarrel seemed almost impossible. About whatever might be the particulars of their separation, her sister's affliction was indubitable, and she thought with the tenderest compassion of that violent sorrow which Marianne was in all probability not merely giving way to as a relief, but feeding and encouraging as a duty. In about half an hour her mother returned, and though her eyes were red, her countenance was not unchearful. Her dear Willoughby is now some miles from Barton, Eleanor, said she as she sat down to work, and with how heavy a heart does he travel. It is all very strange, so suddenly to be gone, it seems but the work of a moment, and last night he was with us so happy, so cheerful, so affectionate, and now, after only ten minutes' notice, gone too without intending to return. Being more than what he owned to us must have happened. He did not speak, he did not behave like himself. You must have seen the difference, as well as I. What can it be? Can they have quarreled? Why else should he have shown such unwillingness to accept your invitation here? It was not inclination that he wanted, Eleanor. I could plainly see that. He had not the power of accepting it. I have thought it all over, I assure you, and I can perfectly account for everything that at first seems strange to me as well as to you. Can you indeed? Yes. I have explained it to myself in the most satisfactory way. But you, Eleanor, who loved to doubt where you can, it will not satisfy you, I know, but you shall not talk me out of my trust in it. I am persuaded that Mrs. Smith suspects his regard for Marianne. This approves of it, perhaps because she has other views for him. And on that account is eager to get him away. And that the business which she sends him off to transact is invented as an excuse to dismiss him. This is what I believe to have happened. He is, moreover, aware that she does disapprove the connection. He dares not, therefore, at present confess to her his engagement with Marianne, and he feels himself obliged, from his dependent situation, to give in to her schemes, and absent himself from Devonshire for a while. You will tell me, I know, that this may or may not have happened, but I will listen to no cabal unless you can point out any other method of understanding the affair as satisfactory as this. And now, Eleanor, what have you to say? Nothing for you have anticipated my answer. Then you would have told me that it might or might not have happened. Oh, Eleanor, how incomprehensible are your feelings! You had rather take evil upon credit than good. You had rather look out for misery for Marianne and guilt for poor Willoughby than an apology for the latter. You are resolved to think him blamable, because he took leave of us with less affection than his usual behaviour has shown, and is no allowance to be made for inadvertence, or for spirits depressed by recent disappointment, are no probabilities to be accepted merely because they are not certainties, is nothing due to the man whom we have all such reason to love, and no reason in the world to think ill of? To the possibility of motives unanswerable in themselves, though unavoidably secret for a while? And after all, what is it you suspect him of? I can hardly tell myself, but suspicion of something unpleasant is the inevitable consequence of such an alteration as we just witnessed in him. There is great truth, however, in what you have now urged of the allowances which ought to be made for him, and it is my wish to be candid in my judgment of everybody. Willoughby may undoubtedly have very sufficient reasons for his conduct, and I will hope that he has. But it would have been more like Willoughby to acknowledge them at once. Secrecy may be advisable, but still I cannot help wondering at its being practised by him. Do not blame him, however, for departing from his character, where the deviation is necessary, but you really do admit the justice of what I have said in his defence. I am happy, and he is acquitted. Not entirely. It may be proper to conceal their engagement, if they are engaged, from Mrs. Smith, and if that is the case it must be highly expedient for Willoughby to be but little endeaventure at present. But this is no excuse for their concealing it from us. Concealing it from us? My dear child, do you accuse Willoughby a Marianne of concealment? This is strange indeed, when your eyes have been reproaching them every day for incautiousness. I want no proof of their affection, said Eleanor, but of their engagement I do. I am perfectly satisfied of both. Yet not a syllable has been said to you on the subject by either of them? I have not wanted syllables where actions have spoken so plainly, has not his behaviour to Marianne and to all of us, for at least the last fortnight, declared that he loved and considered her as his future wife, and that he felt for us the attachment of the nearest relation? Have we not perfectly understood each other? Has not my consent been daily asked by his looks, his matter, his attentive and affectionate respect? My Eleanor, is it possible to doubt their engagement? How could such a thought occur to you? How was it to be supposed that Willoughby, persuaded as he must be of your sister's love, should leave her and leave her perhaps for months, without telling her of his affection, that they should part without a mutual exchange of confidence? I confess, replied Eleanor, that every circumstance except one is in favour of their engagement, but that one is the total silence of both on the subject, and with me it almost outweighs every other. How strange this is! You must think wretchedly indeed of Willoughby. If after all that is openly passed between them, you can doubt the nature of the terms on which they are together. Has he been acting a part in his behaviour to your sister all this time? Do you suppose him really indifferent to her? No, I cannot think that. He must and does love her, I am sure. But with a strange kind of tenderness, if he can leave her with such indifference, such carelessness of the future as you attribute to him. You must remember, my dear mother, that I have never considered this matter as certain. I have had my doubts, I confess, but they are fainter than they were, and they may soon be entirely done away. If we find they correspond, every fear of mine will be removed. Be concession indeed. If you were to see them at the altar, you would suppose they were going to be married. Ungracious girl! But I require no such proof. Nothing in my opinion has ever passed to justify doubt. No secrecy has been attempted. All has been uniformly open and unreserved. You cannot doubt your sister's wishes. It must be Willoughby, therefore, whom you suspect. But why? Has he not a man of honour and feeling? Has there been any inconsistency on his side to create alarm? Can he be deceitful? I hope not! I believe not!" cried Eleanor. I love Willoughby. Sincerely love him, and suspicion of his integrity cannot be more painful to yourself than to me. It has been involuntary, and I will not encourage it. I was startled, I confess, by the alteration in his manners this morning. He did not speak like himself, and did not return your kindness with any cordiality. But all this may be explained by such a situation of his affairs as you have supposed. He has just parted from my sister, has seen her leave him in the greatest affliction, and if he felt obliged, from a fear of offending Mrs. Smith, to resist the temptation of returning here soon, and yet aware that by declining your invitation, by saying that he was going away for some time, he should seem to act an ungenerous, a suspicious part by our family, he might well be embarrassed and disturbed. In such a case, a plain and open avowal of his difficulties would have been more to his honour, I think, as well as more consistent with his general character. But I will not raise objections against any one's conduct on so illiberal a foundation. Is a difference in judgment from myself, or a deviation from what I may think right and consistent? You speak very properly. Willoughby certainly does not deserve to be suspected. Although we have not known him long, he is no stranger in this part of the world, and who has ever spoken to his disadvantage. Had he been in a situation to act independently and marry immediately, it might have been odd that he should leave us without acknowledging everything to me at once, but this is not the case. It is an engagement in some respects not prosperously begun, for their marriage must be at a very uncertain distance, and even secrecy, as far as it can be observed, may now be very advisable. They were interrupted by the entrance of Margaret, and Eleanor was then at liberty to think over the representations of her mother, to acknowledge the probability of many, and hope for the justice of all. They saw nothing of Marianne till dinner-time, when she entered the room and took her place at the table without saying a word. Her eyes were red and swollen, and it seemed as if her tears were even then restrained with difficulty. She avoided the looks of them all, could neither eat nor speak, and after some time, on her mother's silently pressing her hand with tender compassion, her small degree of fortitude was quite overcome, she burst into tears, and left the room. This violent oppression of spirits continued the whole evening. She was without any power, because she was without any desire of command over herself. The slightest mention of anything relative to Willoughby overpowered her in an instant, and though her family were most anxiously attentive to her comfort, it was impossible for them, if they spoke at all, to keep clear of every subject which her feelings connected with him. CHAPTER XVI of Sense and Sensibility This is a LibriVox recording. A LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. This recording is by Mark Smith of Simpsonville, South Carolina. Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen. CHAPTER XVI Marianne would have thought herself very inexcusable had she been able to sleep at all the first night after parting from Willoughby. She would have been ashamed to look her family in the face the next morning, had she not risen from her bed in more need of repose than when she laid down in it. But the feelings which made such composure a disgrace left her in no danger of incurring it. She was awake the whole night, and she wept the greatest part of it. She got up with a headache, was unable to talk, and unwilling to take any nourishment, giving pain every moment to her mother and sisters, and forbidding all attempted consolation from either. Her sensibility was potent enough. When breakfast was over she walked out by herself and wandered about the village of Allenham, indulging the recollection of past enjoyment and crying over the present reverse for the chief of the morning. The evening passed off in the equal indulgence of feeling. She played over every favorite song that she had been used to play to Willoughby, every air in which their voices had been oftenest joined, and sat at the instrument gazing on every line of music that he had written out for her, till her heart was so heavy that no further sadness could be gained, and this nourishment of grief was every day applied. She spent whole hours at the Piano Forte alternately singing and crying, her voice often totally suspended by her tears. In books too, as well as in music, she courted the misery which a contrast between the past and present was certain of giving. She read nothing but what they had been used to read together. Such violence of affliction indeed could not be supported for ever. It sunk within a few days into a calmer melancholy. But these employments to which she daily recurred, her solitary walks and silent meditations still produced occasional effusions of sorrow as lively as ever. No letter from Willoughby came, and none seemed expected by Marianne. Her mother was surprised, and Elinor again became uneasy. But Mrs. Dashwood could find explanations whenever she wanted them, which at least satisfied herself. "'Remember, Elinor,' said she, "'how very often Sir John fetches our letters himself from the post, and carries them to it. We have already agreed that secrecy may be necessary, and we must acknowledge that it could not be maintained if their correspondents were to pass through Sir John's hands.' Elinor could not deny the truth of this, and she tried to find in it a motive sufficient for their silence. But there was one method so direct, so simple, and in her opinion so eligible of knowing the real state of the affair, and of instantly removing all mystery, that she could not help suggesting it to her mother. "'Why do you not ask Marianne at once,' said she, "'whether she is or is not engaged to Willoughby? From you, her mother, and so kind, so indulgent a mother, the question could not give offence. It would be the natural result of your affection for her. She used to be all unreserved, and to you more especially.' I would not ask such a question for the world. Supposing it possible that they are not engaged, what distress would not such an inquiry inflict? At any rate it would be most ungenerous. I should never deserve her confidence again after forcing from her a confession of what is meant at present to be unacknowledged to any one. I know Marianne's heart. I know that she dearly loves me, and that I shall not be the last to whom the affair is made known, when circumstances make the revealment of it eligible. I would not attempt to force the confidence of any one, of a child much less, because a sense of duty would prevent the denial which her wishes might direct. Eleanor thought this generosity overstrained, considering her sister's youth, and urged the matter farther but in vain. Common sense, common care, common prudence, were all sunk in Mrs. Dashwood's romantic delicacy. It was several days before Willoughby's name was mentioned before Marianne by any other family. Sir John and Mrs. Jennings indeed were not so nice. Their witticisms added pain to many a painful hour. But one evening Mrs. Dashwood, accidentally taking up a volume of Shakespeare, exclaimed, We have never finished Hamlet, Marianne. Our dear Willoughby went away before we could get through it. We will put it by, that when he comes again—but it may be months, perhaps, before that happens. Months! cried Marianne, with strong surprise. No! Nor many weeks! Mrs. Dashwood was sorry for what she had said, but it gave Eleanor pleasure as it produced a reply from Marianne so expressive of confidence in Willoughby and knowledge of his intentions. One morning, about a week after his leaving the country, Marianne was prevailed on to join her sisters in their usual walk, instead of wandering away by herself. Hitherto she had carefully avoided every companion in her rambles. If her sisters intended to walk on the Downs, she directly stole away towards the lanes. If they talked of the valley, she was as speedy in climbing the hills and could never be found when the others set off. But at length she was secured by the exertions of Eleanor, who greatly disapprove such continual seclusion. They walked along the road through the valley and, chiefly in silence, for Marianne's mind could not be controlled, and Eleanor, satisfied with gaining one point, would not then attempt more. Beyond the entrance of the valley, where the country, though still rich, was less wild and more open, a long stretch of the road which they had traveled on first coming to Barton lay before them, and on reaching that point they stopped to look around them and examine a prospect which formed the distance of their view from the cottage, from a spot which they had never happened to reach in any of their walks before. Amongst the objects in the scene they soon discovered an animated one. It was a man on horseback riding towards them. In a few minutes they could distinguish him to be a gentleman, and in a moment afterwards Marianne rapturously exclaimed, "'It is he! It is indeed! I know it is!' and was hastening to meet him when Eleanor cried out, "'Indeed, Marianne, I think you are mistaken. It is not Willoughby. The person is not tall enough for him and has not his air.' "'He has! he has!' cried Marianne. I am sure he has. His air, his coat, his horse. I knew how soon he would come!' She walked eagerly on as she spoke, and Eleanor, to screen Marianne from particularity, as she felt almost certain of its not being Willoughby, quickened her pace and kept up with her. They were soon within thirty yards of the gentleman. Marianne looked again. Her heart sunk within her, and abruptly turning round she was hurrying back when the voices of both her sisters were raised to detain her. A third, almost as well known as Willoughby's, joined them in begging her to stop, and she turned round with surprise to see and welcome Edward Ferrars. He was the only person in the world who could at that moment be forgiven for not being Willoughby, the only one who could have gained a smile from her, but she dispersed her tears to smile on him, and in her sister's happiness forgot for a time her own disappointment. He dismounted, and giving his horse to his servant walked back with them to Barton, whether he was purposely coming to visit them. He was welcomed by them all with great cordiality, but especially by Marianne, who showed more warmth of regard in her reception of him than even Eleanor herself. To Marianne, indeed, the meeting between Edward and her sister was but a continuation of that unaccountable coldness which she had often observed at Norland in their mutual behavior. On Edward's side, more particularly, there was a deficiency of all that a lover ought to look and say on such an occasion. He was confused, seemed scarcely sensible of pleasure in seeing them, neither rapturous nor gay, said little but what was forced from him by questions, and distinguished Eleanor by no mark of affection. Marianne saw and listened with increasing surprise. She began almost to feel a dislike of Edward, and it ended as every feeling must end with her by carrying back her thoughts to Willoughby, whose manners formed a contrast sufficiently striking to those of his brother-elect. After a short silence which succeeded the first surprise and enquiries of meeting, Marianne asked Edward if he came directly from London. No, he had been in Devonshire a fortnight. A fortnight, she repeated, surprised at his being so long in the same county with Eleanor without seeing her before. He looked rather distressed as he added that he had been staying with some friends near Plymouth. Have you been lately in Sussex? said Eleanor. I was at Norland about a month ago. And how does dear, dear Norland look? cried Marianne. Dear, dear Norland, said Eleanor, probably looks much as it always does at this time of the year, the woods and walks thickly covered with dead leaves. Oh! cried Marianne, with what transporting sensation have I formally seen them fall? How have I delighted, as I walked, to see them driven in showers about me by the wind? What feelings have they, the season, the air altogether inspired? Now there is no one to regard them. They are seen only as a nuisance, swept hastily off, and driven as much as possible from the site. It is not every one, said Eleanor, who has your passion for dead leaves. No, my feelings are not often shared, not often understood. But sometimes they are. As she said this, she sunk into a reverie for a few moments. But rousing herself again. Now Edward, said she, calling his attention to the prospect, here is Barton Valley. Look up to it and be tranquil, if you can. Look at those hills. Did you ever see their equals? To the left is Barton Park, amongst those woods and plantations. You may see the end of the house, and there, beneath that farthest hill, which rises with such grandeur, is our cottage. It is a beautiful country, he replied. But these bottoms must be dirty in winter. How can you think of dirt with such objects before you? As replied he, smiling, among the rest of the objects before me, I see a very dirty lane. How strange, said Marianne to herself as she walked on. Have you an agreeable neighborhood here? Are the Middletons pleasant people? No, not all, answered Marianne. We could not be more unfortunately situated. Marianne, cried her sister. How can you say so? How can you be so unjust? They are a very respectable family, Mr. Ferrars, and towards us have behaved in the friendliest manner. Have you forgot, Marianne, how many pleasant days we have owed to them? No, said Marianne in a low voice, nor how many painful moments. Eleanor took no notice of this, and directing her attention to their visitor, endeavored to support something like discourse with him, by talking of their present residence, its conveniences, etc., extorting from him occasional questions and remarks. His coldness and reserve mortified her severely. She was vexed and half angry. But resolving to regulate her behavior to him by the past rather than the present, she avoided every appearance of resentment or displeasure, and treated him as she thought he ought to be treated from the family connection. 17 Mrs. Dashwood was surprised only for a moment at seeing him, for his coming to Barton was, in her opinion, of all things the most natural. Her joy and expression of regard long outlived her wonder. He received the kindest welcome from her, and shyness, coldness, reserve could not stand against such a reception. They had begun to fail him before he entered the house, and they were quite overcome by the captivating manners of Mrs. Dashwood. Indeed, a man could not very well be in love with either of her daughters, without extending the passion to her, and Eleanor had the satisfaction of seeing him soon become more like himself. His affections seemed to reanimate towards them all, and his interest in their welfare again became perceptible. He was not in spirits, however, he praised their house, admired its prospect, was attentive and kind, but still he was not in spirits. The whole family perceived it, and Mrs. Dashwood, attributing it to some want of liberality in his mother, sat down to table indignant against all selfish parents. What are Mrs. Farrar's views for you at present, Edward? said she, when dinner was over and they had drawn round the fire. Are you still to be a great orator in spite of yourself? No. I hope my mother is now convinced that I have no more talents than inclination for a public life. But how is your fame to be established? For famous you must be to satisfy all your family, and with no inclination for expense, no affection for strangers, no profession, and no assurance you may find it a difficult matter. I shall not attempt it. I have no wish to be distinguished, and have every reason to hope I never shall. Thank heaven! I cannot be forced into genius and eloquence. You have no ambition, I well know. Your wishes are all moderate. As moderate as those of the rest of the world, I believe, I wish as well as everybody else to be perfectly happy, but, like everybody else, it must be in my own way. This will not make me so. Strange that it would, cried Marianne, what have wealth or grandeur to do with happiness? Grandeur has but little, said Eleanor, but wealth has much to do with it. Eleanor, for shame, said Marianne. Money can only give happiness where there is nothing else to give it. Beyond incompetence it can afford no real satisfaction as far as mere self is concerned. Hearts, said Eleanor, smiling, we may come to the same point. Your competence and my wealth are very much alike, I daresay, and without them, as the world goes now, we shall both agree that every kind of external comfort must be wanting. Your ideas are only more noble than mine. Come, what is your competence? About eighteen hundred or two thousand a year, no more than that. Eleanor laughed. Two thousand a year. One is my wealth, I guess, how it would end. And yet two thousand a year is a very moderate income, said Marianne. A family cannot well be maintained on a smaller. I am sure I am not extravagant in my demands. A proper establishment of servants, a carriage, perhaps two, and hunters, cannot be supported on less. Eleanor smiled again to hear her sister describing so accurately their future expenses at Comb Magna. Hunters, repeated Edward, but why must you have hunters? Everybody does not hunt? Marianne colored as she replied, but most people do. I wish, said Margaret, striking out a novel thought, that somebody would give us all a large fortune apiece. Oh, that they would! cried Marianne, her eyes sparkling with animation, and her cheeks glowing with the delight of such imaginary happiness. We are all unanimous in that wish, I suppose, said Eleanor, in spite of the insufficiency of wealth. Oh, dear! cried Margaret, how happy I should be! I wonder what I should do with it! Marianne looked as if she had no doubt on that point. I should be puzzled to spend so large a fortune myself, said Mrs. Dashwood, if my children were all to be rich and not need my help. You must begin your improvements on this house, observed Eleanor, and your difficulties will soon vanish. What magnificent orders would travel from this family to London, said Edward, in such an event. What a happy day for booksellers, musicsellers, and print shops! You, Mrs. Dashwood, would give a general commission for every new print of merit to be sent to you. And as for Marianne, I know her greatness of soul, there would not be music enough in London to content her. And books, Thompson, Cowper, Scott, she would buy them all over and over again. She would buy up every copy, I believe, to prevent their falling into unworthy hands, and she would have every book that tells her how to admire an old twisted tree. Should not you, Marianne? Forgive me if I am very saucy, but I was willing to show you that I had not forgot our old disputes. I'd love to be reminded of the past, Edward, whether it be melancholy or gay, I love to recall it, and you will never offend me by talking of former times. You are very right in supposing how my money would be spent, some of it at least, my loose cash would certainly be employed in improving my collection of music and books. And the bulk of your fortune would be laid out in annuities on the authors, or their heirs. No, Edward, I should have something else to do with it. Perhaps then you would bestow it as a reward on that person who wrote the ablest defense of your favourite maxim, that no one can ever be in love more than once in their life. Your opinion on that point is unchanged, I presume. Undoubtedly. At my time of life opinions are tolerably fixed. It is not likely that I should now see or hear anything to change them. Marianne is as steadfast as ever, you see, said Eleanor. She is not at all altered. She has only grown a little more grave than she was. Nay, Edward, said Marianne, you need not reproach me. You are not very gay yourself. Why should you think so? replied he with a sigh. But gayity never was a part of my character. Nor do I think it a part of Marianne's, said Eleanor. I should hardly call her a lively girl. She is very earnest, very eager in all she does. Graves talks a great deal and always with animation, but she is not often really merry. I believe you are right, he replied, and yet I have always set her down as a lively girl. I have frequently detected myself in such kind of mistakes, said Eleanor, in a total misapprehension of character in some point or other, fancying people so much more gay or grave or ingenious or stupid than they really are, and I can hardly tell why or in what the deception originated. Sometimes one is guided by what they say of themselves and very frequently by what other people say of them, without giving oneself time to deliberate and judge. But I thought it was right, Eleanor, said Marianne, to be guided wholly by the opinion of other people. I thought our judgments were given us merely to be subservient to those of neighbours. This has always been your doctrine, I am sure. No, Marianne, never. My doctrine has never aimed at the subjection of the understanding. All I have ever attempted to influence has been the behaviour. You must not confound my meaning. I am guilty, I confess, of having often wished you to treat our acquaintance in general with greater attention, but when have I advised you to adopt their sentiments or to conform to their judgment in serious matters? You have not been able to bring your sister over to your plan of general civility, said Edward to Eleanor. Do you gain no ground? Quite the contrary, replied Eleanor, looking expressively at Marianne. My judgment, he returned, is all on your side of the question, but I am afraid my practice is much more on your sister's. I never wish to offend, but I am so foolishly shy, that it often seem negligent, when I am only kept back by my natural awkwardness. I have frequently thought that I must have been intended by nature to be fond of low company. I am so little at ease amongst strangers of gentility. Marianne has not shyness to excuse any inattention of hers, said Eleanor. He knows her own worth too well for false shame, replied Edward. Shyness is only the effect of a sense of inferiority in some way or other. If I could persuade myself that my manners were perfectly easy and graceful, I should not be shy. But you would still be reserved, said Marianne, and that is worse. Edward started. Reserved? Am I reserved, Marianne? Yes, very. I do not understand you, replied he, coloring. Reserved? How? In what manner? What am I to tell you? What can you suppose? Eleanor looks surprised at his emotion, but trying to laugh off the subject, she said to him, Do not you know my sister well enough to understand what she means? Do not you know she calls every one reserved who does not talk as fast and admire what she admires as rapturously as herself? Edward made no answer. His gravity and thoughtfulness returned on him in their fullest extent, and he sat for some time silent and dull. CHAPTER 18 OF SENSE AND SENSEBILITY Eleanor saw, with great uneasiness, the low spirits of her friend. His visit afforded her but a very partial satisfaction, while his own enjoyment in it appeared so imperfect. It was evident that he was unhappy. She wished it were equally evident that he still distinguished her by the same affection, which once she had felt no doubt of inspiring, but hithered to the continuance of his preference seemed very uncertain, and the reservedness of his manner towards her contradicted one moment what a more animated look had intimated the preceding one. He joined her and Marianne in the breakfast-room the next morning, before the others were down, and Marianne, who was always eager to promote their happiness as far as she could, soon left them to themselves. But before she was half-way upstairs she heard the parlor door open, and turning round was astonished to see Edward himself come out. I am going into the village to see my horses, said he. As you are not yet ready for breakfast I shall be back again presently. Edward returned to them with fresh admiration of the surrounding country, in his walk to the village he had seen many parts of the valley to advantage, and the village itself, in a much higher situation than the cottage, afforded a general view of the whole which had exceedingly pleased him. This was a subject which ensured Marianne's attention, and she was beginning to describe her own admiration of these scenes, and to question him more minutely on the objects that had particularly struck him, when Edward interrupted her by saying, You must not inquire too far, Marianne. Remember I have no knowledge in the picturesque, and I shall offend you by my ignorance and want of taste if we come to particulars. I shall call hills steep, which ought to be bold. This is strange and uncouth, which ought to be irregular and rugged, and distant objects out of sight, which ought only to be indistinct through the soft medium of a hazy atmosphere. You must be satisfied with such aberration as I can honestly give. I call it a very fine country. The hills are steep, the woods seem full of fine timber, and the valley looks comfortable and snug. Both rich meadows and several neat farmhouses scattered here and there. It exactly answers my idea of a fine country, because it unites beauty with utility, and I dare say it is a picturesque one, too, because you admire it. I can easily believe it to be full of rocks and promontories, gray moss and brushwood, but these are all lost on me. I know nothing of the picturesque. I'm afraid it is but too true, said Marianne, but why should you boast of it? I suspect, said Eleanor, that to avoid one kind of affectation, Edward here falls into another. Because he believes many people pretend to more admiration of the beauties of nature than they really feel, and is disgusted with such pretensions, he affects greater indifference and less discrimination in viewing them himself than he possesses. He is fastidious and will have an affectation of his own. It is very true, said Marianne, that admiration of landscape scenery has become a mere jargon. Everybody pretends to feel and tries to describe with the taste and elegance of him who first defined what picturesque beauty was. I detest jargon of every kind, and sometimes I have kept my feelings to myself because I could find no language to describe them in but what was worn and hackneyed out of all sense and meaning. I am convinced, said Edward, that you really feel all the delight in a fine prospect which you profess to feel. But in return your sister must allow me to feel no more than I profess. I like a fine prospect, but not on picturesque principles. I do not like crooked, twisted, blasted trees. I admire them much more if they are tall, straight, and flourishing. I do not like ruined, tattered cottages. I am not fond of nettles or thistles or heath blossoms. I have more pleasure in a snug farmhouse than a watchtower, and a troupe of tidy, happy villages please me better than the finest banditie in the world. Marianne looked with amazement at Edward, with compassion at her sister. Eleanor only laughed. The subject was continued no farther, and Marianne remained thoughtfully silent till a new object suddenly engaged her attention. She was sitting by Edward, and in taking his tea from Mrs. Dashwood, his hand passed so directly before her as to make a ring, with a plate of hair in the centre, very conspicuous on one of his fingers. I never saw you wear a ring before, Edward, she cried. Is that Fanny's hair? I remember her promising to give you some, but I should have thought her hair had been darker. Marianne spoke inconsiderately what she really felt, but when she saw how much she had pained Edward, her own vexation at her want of thought could not be surpassed by his. He coloured very deeply, and giving a momentary glance at Eleanor replied, Yes, it is my sister's hair. The setting always cast a different shade on it, you know. Eleanor had met his eye, and looked conscious likewise. That the hair was her own, she instantaneously felt as well satisfied as Marianne. The only difference in their conclusions was that what Marianne considered as a free gift from her sister, Eleanor was conscious must have been procured by some theft or contrivance unknown to herself. She was not in a humour, however, to regard it as an affront, and effecting to take no notice of what passed by instantly talking of something else, she internally resolved henceforward to catch every opportunity of eyeing the hair and satisfying herself beyond all doubt that it was exactly the shade of her own. Edward's embarrassment lasted some time, and it ended in an absence of mind still more settled. He was particularly grave the whole morning. Marianne severely censured herself for what she had said, but her own forgiveness might have been more speedy had she known how little offence it had given her sister. Before the middle of the day they were visited by Sir John and Mrs. Jennings, who, having heard of the arrival of a gentleman at the cottage, came to take a survey of the guest. For the assistance of his mother-in-law, Sir John was not long in discovering that the name of Ferrars began with an F, and this prepared a future mine of railery against the devoted Eleanor, which nothing but the newness of their acquaintance with Edward could have prevented from being immediately sprung, but, as it was, she only learned, from some very significant looks, how far their penetration, founded our Margaret's instructions, extended. Sir John never came to the Dashwoods without either inviting them to dine at the park the next day, or to drink tea with them that evening. On the present occasion, for the better entertainment of their visitor, towards whose amusement he felt himself bound to contribute, he wished to engage them for both. "'You must drink tea with us tonight,' said he, "'for we shall be quite alone, and to-morrow you must absolutely dine with us, for we shall be a large party.' This is Jennings' enforced the necessity. And who knows, but you may raise a dance,' said she, and that will tempt you, Miss Marianne. "'A dance?' cried Marianne. Impossible! Who is to dance?' "'Who? Why yourselves, and the caries, and whittakers, to be sure. What! You thought nobody could dance because a certain person that shall be nameless is gone?' "'I wish with all my soul,' cried Sir John, that Willoughby were among us again.' This, and Marianne's blushing, gave new suspicions to Edward. "'And who is Willoughby?' said he, in a low voice, to Miss Dashwood by whom he was sitting. She gave him a brief reply. Marianne's countenance was more communicative. Edward saw, enough to comprehend, not only the meaning of others, but such of Marianne's expressions that had puzzled him before, and when their visitors left them, he went immediately round her, and said in a whisper, "'I have been guessing. Shall I tell you my guess?' "'What do you mean?' "'Shall I tell you?' "'Certainly.' "'Well, then, I guessed that Mr. Willoughby hunts.' Marianne was surprised and confused, yet she could not help smiling at the quiet archeness of his manner, and after a moment's silence, said, "'Oh, Edward, how can you? But the time will come, I hope. I am sure you will like him.' "'I do not doubt it,' replied he, rather astonished at her earnestness and warmth, for he had not imagined it to be a joke for the good of her acquaintance in general, found it only on a something or a nothing between Mr. Willoughby and herself. She would not have ventured to mention it." CHAPTER XIX Edward remained a week at the cottage. He was earnestly pressed by Mrs. Dashwood to stay longer, but as if he were bent only on self-mortification, he seemed resolved to be gone when his enjoyment among his friends was at the height. His spirits during the last two or three days, though still very unequal, were greatly improved. He grew more and more partial to the house and environs, never spoke of going away without a sigh, declared his time to be wholly disengaged, even doubted to what place he should go when he left them, but still, go he must. Never had any week passed so quickly, he could hardly believe it to be gone. He said so repeatedly, other things he said too, which marked the turn of his feelings and gave the lie to his actions. He had no pleasure at Norland, he detested being in town, but either to Norland or London, he must go. He valued their kindness beyond any thing, and his greatest happiness was in being with them. Yet he must leave them at the end of a week, in spite of their wishes and his own, and without any restraint on his time. Eleanor placed all that was astonishing in this way of acting to his mother's account, and it was happy for her that he had a mother whose character was so imperfectly known to her, as to be the general excuse for everything strange on the part of her son. Disappointed, however, and vexed as she was, and sometimes displeased with his uncertain behavior to herself, she was very well disposed on the whole to regard his actions with all the candid allowances and generous qualifications, which had been rather more painfully extorted from her for Willoughby's service by her mother. His want of spirits, of openness and of consistency, were most usually attributed to his want of independence, and his better knowledge of Mrs. Ferrar's disposition and designs. The shortness of his visit, the steadiness of his purpose in leaving them, originated in the same fettered inclination, the same inevitable necessity of temporizing with his mother. The old well-established grievance of duty against Will, and against child, was the cause of all. She would have been glad to know when these difficulties were to cease, the opposition was to yield, when Mrs. Ferrar's would be reformed, and her son be at liberty to be happy. But from such vain wishes she was forced to turn for comfort to the renewal of her confidence in Edward's affection, to the remembrance of every mark of regard in look or word which fell from him while at Barton, and above all to that flattering proof of it which he constantly wore round his finger. I think, Edward, said Mrs. Dashwood, as they were at breakfast the last morning, you would be a happier man if you had any profession to engage your time and give an interest to your plans and actions. Some inconvenience to your friends, indeed, might result from it. You would not be able to give them so much of your time. But, with a smile, you would be materially benefited in one particular at least. You would know where to go when you left them. I do assure you, he replied, that I have long thought on this point as you think now. It has been and is, and probably will always be a heavy misfortune, to me, that I have had no necessary business to engage me, no profession to give me employment, or afford me anything like independence. But unfortunately my own nicety, and the nicety of my friends, have made me what I am, an idle, helpless being. We never could agree in our choice of a profession. I always preferred the church, as I still do. But that was not smart enough for my family. They recommended the army. That was a great deal too smart for me. The law was allowed to be genteel enough. Many young men, who had chambers in the temple, made a very good appearance in the first circles, and drove about town in very knowing gigs. But I had no inclination for the law, even in this less abstruse study of it which my family approved. As for the navy, it had fashion on its side, but I was too old when the subject was first started to enter it, and, at length, as there was no necessity for my having any profession at all, as I might be as dashing and expensive without a red coat on my back as with one, idleness was pronounced on the whole to be the most advantageous and honorable, and a young man of eighteen is not in general so earnestly bent on being busy as to resist the solicitations of his friends to do nothing. I was therefore entered at Oxford and have been properly idle ever since. The consequence of which I suppose will be, said Mrs. Dashwood, since leisure has not promoted your own happiness, that your sons will be brought up to as many pursuits, employments, professions, and trades as Colomelis. They will be brought up, said he and the serious accent, to be as unlike myself as is possible, in feeling, in action, in condition, in everything. Come, come! This is all an effusion of immediate want of spirits, Edward. You are in a melancholy humor, and fancy that any one unlike yourself must be happy. But remember that the pain of parting from friends will be felt by everybody at times, whatever be their education or state. Know your own happiness. You want nothing but patience. Or give it a more fascinating name, call it hope. Your mother will secure to you in time that independence you are so anxious for. It is her duty. And it will, it must ere long become her happiness to prevent your whole youth from being wasted in discontent. How much may not a few months do? I think, replied Edward, that I may defy many months to produce any good to me. This desponding turn of mind, though it could not be communicated to Mrs. Dashwood, gave additional pain to them all in the parting, which shortly took place, and left an uncomfortable impression on Eleanor's feelings especially, which required some trouble and time to subdue. But as it was her determination to subdue it, and to prevent herself from appearing to suffer more than what all her family suffered on his going away, she did not adopt the method so judiciously employed by Marianne on a similar occasion to augment and fix her sorrow by seeking silence, solitude, and idleness. Their means were as different as their objects, and equally suited to the advancement of each. Eleanor sat down to her drawing-table as soon as he was out of the house, busily employed herself the whole day, neither sought nor avoided the mention of his name, appeared to interest herself almost as much as ever in the general concerns of the family, and if by this conduct she did not lessen her own grief, it was at least prevented from unnecessary increase, and her mother and sisters were spared much solicitude on her account. Such behavior as this, so exactly the reverse of her own, appeared no more meritorious to Marianne than her own had seemed faulty to her. With the business of self-command she settled very easily. With strong affections it was impossible. With calm ones it could have no merit. That her sister's affections were calm she dared not deny, though she blushed to acknowledge it, and of the strength of her own she gave a very striking proof by still loving and respecting that sister in spite of this mortifying conviction. Without shutting herself up from her family, or leaving the house in determined solitude to avoid them, or lying awake the whole night to indulge meditation, Eleanor found every day afforded her leisure enough to think of Edward, and of Edward's behavior, in every possible variety which the different state of her spirits at different times could produce. With tenderness, pity, approbation, censure, and doubt. There were moments in abundance when, if not by the absence of her mother and sisters, at least by the nature of their employments, conversation was forbidden among them, and every effect of solitude was produced. Her mind was inevitably at liberty, her thoughts could not be chained elsewhere, and the past and the future, on a subject so interesting, must be before her, must force her attention, and engross her memory, her reflection, and her fancy. From a reverie of this kind, as she sat at her drawing-table, she was roused one morning, soon after Edward's leaving them, by the arrival of company. She happened to be quite alone. The closing of the little gate, at the entrance of the green court in front of the house, drew her eyes to the window, and she saw a large party walking up to the door. Most of them were Sir John and Lady Middleton and Mrs. Jennings, but there were two others, a gentleman and lady, who were quite unknown to her. She was sitting near the window, and as soon as Sir John perceived her, he left the rest of the party to the ceremony of knocking at the door, and stepping across the turf, obliged her to open the casement to speak to him, though the space was so short between the door and the window as to make it hardly possible to speak at one without being heard at the other. Well, said he, we have brought you some strangers. How do you like them? Hush! They will hear you. Never mind if they do. It is only the Palmers. Charlotte is very pretty, I can tell you. You may see her if you look this way. As Eleanor was certain of seeing her in a couple of minutes without taking that liberty, she begged to be excused. Where is Marianne? As she run away because we are come, I see her instrument is open. She is walking, I believe. They were now joined by Mrs. Jennings, who had not patience enough to wait till the door was open before she told her story. She came hallowing to the window. How do you do, my dear? How does Mrs. Dashwood do? And where are your sisters? What, all alone? You'll be glad of a little company to sit with you. I have brought my other son and daughter to see you. Only think of their coming so suddenly. I thought I heard a carriage last night while we were drinking our tea, but it never entered my mind that it could be them. I thought of nothing but whether it might not be Colonel Brandon come back again. So I said to Sir John, I do think I hear a carriage. Perhaps it is Colonel Brandon come back again. Eleanor was obliged to turn from her in the middle of her story, to receive the rest of the party. Lady Middleton introduced the two strangers. Mrs. Dashwood and Margaret came downstairs at the same time, and they all sat down to look at one another while Mrs. Jennings continued her story as she walked through the passage into the parlor, attended by Sir John. Mrs. Palmer was several years younger than Lady Middleton and totally unlike her in every respect. She was short and plump, had a very pretty face, and the finest expression of good humour in it that could possibly be. Her manners were by no means so elegant as her sisters, but they were much more prepossessing. She came in with a smile, smiled all the time of her visit, except when she laughed, and smiled when she went away. Her husband was a grave-looking young man of five or six and twenty, with an air of more fashion and sense than his wife, but of less willingness to please or be pleased. He entered the room with a look of self-consequence, slightly bowed to the ladies without speaking a word, and, after briefly surveying them and their apartments, took up a newspaper from the table and continued to read it as long as he stayed. Mrs. Palmer, on the contrary, who was strongly endowed by nature with a turn for being uniformly civil and happy, was hardly seated before her admiration of the parlor and everything in it burst forth. Well, what a delightful room this is! I never saw anything so charming! Only think, Mama, how it is improved since I was here last. I always thought it such a sweet place, ma'am, turning to Mrs. Dashwood, but you have made it so charming! Only look, sister, how delightful everything is! How I should like such a house for myself! Should not you, Mr. Palmer? Mr. Palmer made her no answer and did not even raise his eyes from the newspaper. Mr. Palmer does not hear me, says she, laughing. He never does sometimes. It is so ridiculous! This was quite a new idea to Mrs. Dashwood. She had never been used to find wit in the inattention of any one, and could not help looking with surprise at them both. Mrs. Jennings, in the meantime, talked on as loud as she could and continued her account of their surprise the evening before on seeing their friends, without ceasing till everything was told. Mrs. Palmer laughed heartily at the recollection of their astonishment, and everybody agreed, two or three times over, that it had been quite an agreeable surprise. You may believe how glad we were all to see them, added Mrs. Jennings leaning forward towards Eleanor and speaking in a low voice as if she meant to be heard by no one else, though they were seated on different sides of the room. But however, I can't help wishing they had not travelled quite so fast, nor made such a long journey of it, for they came all round by London on upon account of some business, for you know, nodding significantly and pointing to her daughter, it was wrong in her situation. I wanted her to stay at home and rest this morning, but she would come with us. She longed so much to see you all. Mrs. Palmer laughed and said it would not do her any harm. She expects to be confined in February, continued Mrs. Jennings. Lady Middleton could no longer endure such a conversation, and therefore exerted herself to ask Mr. Palmer if there were any news in the paper. No, none at all, he replied and read on. Here comes Marianne, cried Sir John. Now Palmer, you shall see a monstrous pretty girl. He immediately went into the passage, opened the front door, and ushered her in himself. Mrs. Jennings asked her as soon as she appeared if she had not been to Allenham, and Mrs. Palmer laughed so heartily at the question as if to show she understood it. Mr. Palmer looked up on her entering the room, stared at her some minutes, and then returned to his newspaper. Mrs. Palmer's eye was now caught by the drawings which hung round the room. She got up to examine them. Oh, dear, how beautiful these are! Well, how delightful! Do but look, Mama, how sweet! I declare they are quite charming! I could look at them for ever! And then, sitting down again, she very soon forgot that there were any such things in the room. When Lady Middleton rose to go away, Mr. Palmer rose also, laid down the newspaper, stretched himself and looked at them all around. My love, have you been asleep? said his wife, laughing. He made no answer, and only observed, after again examining the room, that it was very low-pitched and that the ceiling was crooked. He then made his bow and departed with the rest. Mr. John had been very urgent with them all to spend the next day at the park. Mrs. Dashwood, who did not choose to dine with them oftener than they dined at the cottage, absolutely refused on her own account. Her daughters might do as they pleased. But they had no curiosity to see how Mr. and Mrs. Palmer ate their dinner and no expectation of pleasure from them in any other way. They attempted therefore likewise to excuse themselves. The weather was uncertain and not likely to be good. But Sir John would not be satisfied. The carriage should be sent for them and they must come. Lady Middleton too, though she did not press their mother, pressed them. Mrs. Jennings and Mrs. Palmer joined their entreaties, all seemed equally anxious to avoid a family party, and the young ladies were obliged to yield. Why should they ask us? said Marianne as soon as they were gone. The rent of this cottage is said to be low, but we have it on very hard terms if we are to dine at the park whenever any one is staying either with them or with us. They mean no less to be civil and kind to us now, said Eleanor, by these frequent invitations than by those which we received from them a few weeks ago.