 The Kraft Foods Company presents Willard Waterman as the Great Gilded Sleeve. The Great Gilded Sleeve is brought to you partially transcribed by the Kraft Foods Company. Kraft, makers of the one and only Miracle Whip salad dressing. We say one and only because there just isn't any other salad dressing like Miracle Whip. Miracle Whip is different and it tastes different. Miracle Whip tastes so good it's become the most popular salad dressing ever created. More Miracle Whip is sold than the next 20 leading brands of salad dressing combined. Try it. Make your salads better tasting with the one and only Miracle Whip. Well, it's been a warm spring day at the water department and the Great Gilded Sleeve has come home early enough to relax a bit in the backyard. In fact, he's thinking of asking Leroy to play a little catch before dinner. Yes, sir. I'll burn a few across the plate and work up an appetite. Yes, Bertie. Hi, it's me. How, Bertie? Because I knew it wasn't Leroy. He's already come home. Where is he, Bertie? Oh, he's gone again. He went over to mow Miss Pettibone's lawn. Oh, he did. I don't mind him mowing the judge's lawn in Leela's, but I wish he wouldn't do Mrs. Pettibone's. Why? Maybe some of that high society will rub off on Leroy while he's over there. Bertie, Mrs. Pettibone is no more important to summer field society than I am to. Well, did the water works? Let's remember that. Yes. Hi, Anne. Hello, Leroy. Aren't you home a little early? Well, I thought we might have a game of catch before dinner. Heck, I'm bushed for mowing Mrs. Pettibone's big lawn. When's dinner, Bertie? I better go put it on. I bet you are hungry. Yeah. Leroy mowing her lawn isn't that big a job. It is the way I did it. I mowed in front of her sun porch window for about half an hour. Oh? She had some women over for bridge and they were talking about you. Women? Talking about me? Yeah. Don't get your hopes up, Uncle. It wasn't good. How did they happen to be talking about me? Well, one of them wanted to know who that cute boy was mowing the lawn. Yes, go on. And Mrs. Pettibone says, oh, that's Leroy Forrester. Isn't he adorable? Adorable. And then she said, and he's so industrious and ambitious, Leroy is going to make a splendid young man in spite of his handicap. Leroy, what did she say about me? You're the handicap. Oh, my goodness. No kid, Monk. She said you meant well, but your background stuck out all over. What did she mean by that? Well, she said something about polish and culture and just shook her head. Stuck up, old bitty. And then what did she say? I don't know. I ran out of grass. Hey, Mrs. Pettibone, looking down her nose at me. And with her nose, that's a long look. Hello, Peavey. Hello, Mr. Countess Me. What can I do for you? Peavey, I'm smoking. That's strange. I don't see you. She's all right. Peavey, Mrs. Pettibone has been making some very uncalled-for remarks about me. Again? Let me ask you a question. Oh, well. Do I have polish? Well, do you look upon me as a man of refinement and culture? Mr. Jones, maybe you're asking me some very embarrassing questions. Oh, Peavey, you haven't been exposed to as much culture as Mrs. Pettibone. She's traveled a lot. You're like me. You're pretty much of a stay at home. I've traveled, Peavey. It's been more than two years since I was in Oshkosh, Wisconsin, attending a water commissioner's convention. I'm talking about world travel, Mr. Gildersleeve. As I recall, Mrs. Pettibone even visited the pyramid. I'll bet she helped build on the old camel. There she is, looking in my show window. Oh? How do you do, Mr. Peavey? Well, hello, Mrs. Pettibone. Hello, Mrs. Pettibone. Oh, hello, Mr. Gildersleeve. Mr. Peavey, I'm looking for a little going-away present for a dear schoolgirl friend of mine in Boston. Very well. She's making her first crossing this summer. Her first crossing? She's going abroad, Mr. Gildersleeve. Yeah. Oh, yeah, that's indeed. Only her first, you say? Mr. Peavey, do you by any chance have a leather passport folder? Let me see. Oh, you know, it's like a man's leather wallet. Oh, I had some nice wallet. And here's a coin purse that snapped. Mr. Peavey, you're so droll. I really didn't think I'd find a passport folder in Summerfield. We are so provincial. Aren't we, Mr. Gildersleeve? Well, that's why I'm getting out of town. You are? Yes, I thought I'd make a crossing this summer. Crossing? You're going abroad, Peavey. Really, Mr. Gildersleeve? Why, I had no idea. Easy design. Well, that's my plan. Are you sure you haven't to need those passport wallets, Peavey? No, but I have a piggy bank with a handle on it. Yes, yes. Mr. Gildersleeve, I'm quite impressed. Oh, thank you. I always thought that you were perfectly content to sit in Summerfield. Well, I may give that impression that I love to travel. It's so broadening. Yes. What is your itinerary, Mr. Gildersleeve? Yeah, I'd like to hear about that. Well, of course, I like to keep my plans flexible, Mrs. Pettibon. Well, the Scandinavian peninsula is beautiful this time of year. Or do you plan to concentrate on Southern France and the Low Countries? Oh, I'll probably take in the high and low countries. Of course, you won't want to miss the thrill of the coronation. Well, I can take that or leave it. But they are holding a couple of tickets for me. I wish I'd known about your trip this morning. The society editor called me and simply begged for a newsy tidbit, and I had absolutely nothing to give her. Well, I don't like to spread these things around. You and I know, Mrs. Pettibon, that a man of the world doesn't advertise it. Oh, I quite agree, Mr. Gildersleeve. Well, bon voyage. Oh, well, thank you. Good day, Mr. Pettibon. Call again, Mrs. Pettibon. Mr. Pettibon. Yes, Mr. Gildersleeve. You haven't booked passage this year? Well, after all, I've spent so much time on the continent. Crossing is hardly a novelty to me. Good day. Good day. It's hard to get the best of Mrs. Pettibon. Mr. Gildersleeve, that was quite a story, you said, here. Well, Peevie, I got started and it sounded so good I couldn't stop. Well, I think you should have. Mrs. Pettibon is the kind who will hold you to it. What do you mean? She'll tell everybody in town. Oh, I can always change my mind about going, Peevie. I doubt if she'll let you. If I know Mrs. Pettibon, she'll push you right out into the Atlantic Ocean. Oh, Peevie. And they want to commission you, it better have a shipper under them. Peevie. Leroy, you got to get to school, so you better eat your breakfast. Okay. I'll just glance at the morning paper till Mr. Gildersleeve comes down. What's Dick Tracy doing? Oh, we'll get to him later. Let's see who's on the society page. The comics are funnier. Let me check what it says in Charlie Somerfield's social slant. Oh, brother, I can't wait. Vacation plans of Somerfield's smart set include... Leroy, your uncle's name is in here. Yeah? Miss Pratt, huh? No, it ain't. Listen to this. A casual call for Mrs. Stanley Pettibon brought the exciting news that Mr. Throck Martin P. Gildersleeve is failing for Europe. You're kidding. That's what it says. Look here. Well, I can't say anything about going to Europe. Yeah, if he's going, it seems like he just said something about it. Where'd he get the money to go? I've been trying to get him to raise my allowance, and he wouldn't even do that for Europe on my money. I wonder what Mr. Gildersleeve's going to say about this. Here he comes. Well, good morning, everybody. Hi, Mr. Gildersleeve. Hi, Aunt. It was for breakfast this morning. Oh, we got a nice breakfast. Would you care to have it served in your cabin or up on deck? What's this, Betty? We hear you're going to Europe. That's ridiculous. Yeah. Yeah, so that's what we hear. Who told you that story? It's right here in the paper. Oh, my goodness. Mrs. Pettibon won't put anything in the paper just to get her own name in. How are you going to cross the ocean? I'm going to take your robot off the reservoir. How, Leroy? I have to hand it to you, Mr. Gildersleeve. You sure kept it under your hat. You didn't tell me. You didn't tell Leroy. Bertie, I have no intention of going to Europe. That's really keeping it under your hat. You didn't even tell yourself. You won't find out, Aunt. Well, I happened to meet her in PB's drug store, and I could have given her that impression. How? Leroy, don't cross-examine me. Okay. Well, how did she get that impression? Well, the subject of traveling came up, and Mrs. Pettibon started bragging about how many times she's been across the ocean, and... You couldn't stand it, huh? If anybody around here thinks I said I'm going to Europe just to impress Mrs. Pettibon, they're mistaken. Well, you are. Bertie, you know how I've always spelled about Mrs. Pettibon. Yes, sir. You know I've never catered to her. No, sir. So it would be ridiculous to say I'm going to Europe just to impress Mrs. Pettibon. Yes, sir. Excuse me. Why did Bertie leave while I was talking to her? She couldn't keep a straight face. Why did I ever let Mrs. Pettibon think I was going to Europe? Of course, it sounded pretty good this morning when three people wished me bon voyage before I could get in the office. Yeah, but I have to get out of it. But George, I'll just phone Mrs. Pettibon right now and tell her my plans have changed. She'll have to print a retouch? Sure. She'll be glad to do that. Just to get her own name in the paper again. I wonder who that is. Yeah, I'll call her later. Come in. Mr. Gildus, leave. Yes. May I have a moment with you? Yes, indeed. I'm Mae Kelly from the Kelly Travel Service. Oh, uh, Travel Service, you say? Yes, Mrs. Pettibon suggested I see you. Uh-oh. And I wonder if you've completed your plans. Well, I've been thinking about that trip and my plans are a little nebulous. Well, then I'm just in time to help you with your itinerary. No, Miss Kelly, I haven't even booked passage. You haven't? Well, how lucky for me. Right? Just let me show you these travel folders. Miss Kelly, I think I should forget about the whole thing. Oh, now don't you give up. I know it's late, but I think we can get passage for you. Well, that's very nice of you, but... It's my business, Mr. Gildus, leave. But... Oh, you'll have such a wonderful time. I can see you on the promenade deck now. But... You'd be surprised how popular a handsome bachelor is aboard ship. Oh? You are a bachelor, aren't you? Oh, yes, definitely. I don't know how the girls have missed you, Mr. Gildus, leave. Well... Let's have another look at that promenade deck. Oh, let me show you a photograph of the ballroom. Nice. Uh-huh. You'll be dancing every evening in the most cosmopolitan atmosphere you can imagine. I will. Oh, everybody in town envies you this wonderful holiday. Well, it has gotten around, hasn't it? You're the only one in Somerfield going abroad this year. You know, you're quite an important personage. Thank you. The first night at sea, you'll undoubtedly be summoned to sit at the captain's table. Oh, that would be quite an honor. And by the second evening, Mr. Gildus, leave, I can see you strolling on the open deck in the moonlight with some adoring girl on your arm. Hey, now! Shipboard romance, Mr. Gildus, leave. Shipboard romance, Mr. Gildus, leave. Shall I make your reservation? Well, you have me halfway across. I can't jump overboard now. The great Gildus, leave will be back in just a minute. Here's a wonderful idea for an appetizer tray or for your next cold meat and cheese buffet platter. Prepare hard-cooked eggs as you would for deviled eggs, but add chopped cooked shrimp to the mashed egg yolk stuffing. Delicious? You try them. Be sure the salad dressing you use for that stuffing is Miracle Whip salad dressing. Miracle Whip has just the flavor you want. A perfect peppy flavor that's just sharp enough. And it's a flavor you won't find in any other salad dressing because Miracle Whip is made only by craft from an original recipe created by craft. Miracle Whip combines the best qualities of old-fashioned boiled dressing and fine rich mayonnaise. This dressing is creamy thick and smooth as smooth can be because it's blended with very special beaters. Miracle Whip looks good and tastes good. In fact, so many people like Miracle Whip so much, it's become the most popular salad dressing ever created. Actually outsells the next 20 leading brands of salad dressing combined. Get a jar of Miracle Whip tomorrow and watch for the big salad carnival that will soon be in full swing at your grocers. There'll be salad makings galore to give you lots of new salad ideas. Visit your grocers wonderful big salad carnival and stock up on all the famous craft salad dressings. Well, let's get back to the great Gildersley. He made a reckless statement to Mrs. Pettiborn that he might go to Europe this summer. Now he's finding it difficult to back out. You know why did I let that good-looking woman from the travel agency make reservations for me? I can't afford to let Leroy and Bertie know I was too wishy-washy to call the whole thing off. Hi, Aunt! Hello, Leroy. Hey, I got a lot of mail. I did? Travel circulars and stuff. Everybody's trying to sell you something to take on your trip. Why are they sending me all this? Listen to this. Be popular aboard ship. Learn to play deck tennis. Leroy, you shouldn't open my mail. This is all printed on the outside. Get this. Covering Europe on a bicycle. Oh. Wait until those Europeans see you on a bicycle. They'll give us our money back. Leroy, I've forgotten about that trip. I don't want to hear any more about it. Yes, Bertie. Oh? New girlfriend, Aunt? Of course not, Leroy. She said she had travel reservations for you. Zeke. Hey, I thought you'd called off the trip. Yes. When is Miss Pettibone going to put in a paper that you ain't going so people will stop calling up? Well, Bertie. How about that, Aunt? Did you talk to Mrs. Pettibone? Well, I was about to phone when Miss Kelly came in from the travel bureau. Was she pretty? Well, yes. That did it. Miss two women sure got Mr. Gil Sleeve in a pickle. Well, it's National Pickle Week. No, it's the Miss Gil Sleeve had no idea of taking a trip until he met Miss Pettibone. But he told her he was going, then he came home and said he wasn't going. Yeah, that's right, Bertie. Then Miss Pettibone told the travel agent he was going and Mr. Gil Sleeve didn't tell her he wasn't going. Now he don't know whether he's coming or not. Well, I don't have anything to do with the office tonight, but I didn't want to stay home and take that kitty. I've heard enough about that trip. Every time someone mentions going abroad, I get seasick. See? There's a light in my office. It must be the janitor. Hello, Harry. Well, evening, Commissioner. Don't tell me you come back to work. Well, not exactly. You ran out of cigars, huh? You're a human or it's about empty. Well, how do you know? Intuition, Commissioner. Harry, you're not fooling me. I know you get into my humidor. I only look in there to see if the cigars need dust and all. Yes, yes. According to the scuttle, but you're going to Europe, huh? Harry, there are a lot of butts to that scuttle. Frankly, I'd like a good excuse not to go. Oh, it's a great experience, Commissioner. Travel broadens a man. Just take it from a sailor who's been on every port. Oh, you were in the Navy, weren't you? Yep, and you'd be surprised at what I've seen through a porthole. Well, I have no desire to see the world that way. It's not bad. Sort of like looking at television on a round screen. Nope, you shouldn't miss a trip. Well, I can't afford the trip. Besides, I don't know anybody over there. Well, it's pretty easy to get acquainted. I'll tell you what you do when you get to Paris. Yeah, I'm not interested. You're walking down the rue de la Paix and you pick up a French... Paris. Well, let me finish. You pick up a French English dictionary. Oh. You see an attractive French girl. They call her Mme Marcel. Yeah, I know. You walk up and click your heels and you're bowing in the waist and you say, bonjour Mme Marcel. Pardon-moi si vous plaît. Huh? What does that mean? Pardon me, please. And then you come right out and you say, Pouvez-vous m'en dire? Auger, entrover, m'en battant. What does that mean? Can you direct me to my ship? Oh. Oh, my goodness. All I want to do is get out of going gracefully. And I'm surprised that the mayor had let you take that much time off, Commissioner. Well, I haven't even discussed it with the mayor. No? Well, he might resent that. Say, he resents me anyway. You why not take advantage of it? He wouldn't give me that much time off. Not him. Why, George, you give me a great idea, Harry. I'll have to do something nice for you. Well, just fill up your humidor again. Good night, Harry. I'll just go in this morning and tell the mayor I'm going to Europe. Won't even ask if I can. Yeah, that'll make him see red. You'll never let me go there. Eww, I didn't think of this before. Come in. Good morning, Mr. Mayor. Good morning. Get out of the sleeve. What is it? Mr. Mayor, I'm going to Europe. So I read the newspaper. Well, what do you have to say about it? I think it's wonderful. Mr. Mayor, I didn't even ask you. Are you going to let your city employees just run off to Europe without asking you? Oh, come now, gilded sleeve. We won't miss you. But besides your bringing the water department invaluable publicity. And incidentally, publicity for the mayor. Naturally, I'll have news photographers on hand to take pictures of me shaking your hand on your departure. And this time, gilded sleeve, don't get your head in front of mine. But, Mr. Mayor, I've just about decided not to go. Nonsense. I want you to take voluminous notes while you're abroad so you can give travel lectures to our various civic organizations. But, Mr. Mayor, only last night, Mrs. de Williger said she'd like to book you for her tea and crumpet club. And I'm very anxious to have you study all the other systems of various European cities. Well, if this is going to be a business trip, perhaps the city would like to pay my expenses. Gilded sleeve, if the city could have bought us in anybody to Europe, I'd go myself. Happy crossing. I'm being double-crossed. The mayor wouldn't let me off the hook. Uh-oh. There's Mrs. Pettipone up the street. She's the last person I want to see right now. I think I'll duck into peepers. Hello, baby. Hello, Mr. Governor Smith. How's the ancient mariner today? Well, I feel very anxious. You were pretty spry when you skipped in the door. I was trying to avoid Mrs. Pettipone. How's the European trip coming on? Well, I went to the mayor about it. I think I had an out. I knew you had two strikes on you, but what was your out? Well, I was sure the mayor had forbidden me to go. But he's all for it. You don't say. I'm going to have to face Mrs. Pettipone. That's going to be a very humiliating experience. Because I'll just have to confess, I never had any idea of going to Europe. Mr. Gildersleeve, when a man is trying to impress somebody, he sometimes makes some pretty right statement. True. They call it foreclushing, I believe. Oh, there you are, Mr. Gildersleeve. Oh, trapped. I thought I saw you come in here. Oh, Mrs. Pettipone. Hello, Mr. Pettipone. Well, how are your travel plans progressing, Mr. Gildersleeve? My plans? I have to make a clean breast out. About my trip, Mrs. Pettipone. Oh, I've been reading so much about your going, I'm beginning to get the fever myself. Oh? Of course, I've waited much too long, but if I could get reservations in time for the coronation, I'm afraid I'd be a silly girl and go. Well, why not be silly? I mean, it may not be as late as you think. Why, what do you mean, Mr. Gildersleeve? Well, I'm the kind of fellow who always gets up in the bus and gives a lady my seat. Oh, Mr. Gildersleeve. You mean you'd surrender your reservations to me? He's been waving the white flag all day. As a matter of fact, Mrs. Pettipone, it's going to be a bit inconvenient for me to get away. Take them and bless you. Oh, Mr. Gildersleeve. Isn't he galant, Mr. Pettipone? Oh, my, yes. I tell the travel agent, I'm taking your place right away. Fine. Of course, there'll be going away party for me, and you, you must come. Well, thank you. When? Oh, my... Oh, my... What do you think of that, Pettipone? She'll do anything to get the ticket. Pee-wee, you heard her. She invited me to her party. We're friends. She'll never look down her nose at me again. Yeah, yeah, I wouldn't say that. The Great Gildersleeve will be with us again in just 30 seconds. For the best tasting sandwiches you've ever made, use Miracle Whip. Smooth, delicious Miracle Whip salad dressing adds a truly wonderful flavor to sandwiches, a flavor that's lively, teasing, and just peppy enough. Miracle Whip is perfectly smooth, wonderful for spreading. Get a jar of Miracle Whip salad dressing tomorrow. For delicious sandwiches and for outstanding salads, use America's favorite salad dressing, the one and only Miracle Whip. Come along, Leeroy. Why are we stopping at the travel service? I thought you talked out of that trip. Well, I want to be sure Mrs. Pettipone got my boat reservation. You'd want her to run in and check once more with that Miss Kelly. She must be good-looking. Well, I don't mind saying she impressed me favorably. And I made quite an impression on her, too. When she found out I was an eligible bachelor on my way to Europe. Oh, brother. Leeroy, would you like to wait outside? No, I want to see her. Good morning, Miss Kelly. This is my nephew, Leeroy. How do you do, Leeroy? Hi. Hey, now. Miss Kelly, I just thought I'd double check to see that Mrs. Pettipone got my reservation. Oh, yes, that's all arranged. Good. I hated to miss this crossing. But what can a gentleman do if he's really a gentleman? But, Mr. Gillisleeve, I got the impression you didn't really care to go. Oh, yes, yes, indeed. That trip abroad was all I could think about. Day and night. Well, you're in luck. I've just had a cancellation and it's on Mrs. Pettipone's boat. Zeke. There he goes. Overboard again. Good night, folks. The great Gillisleeve is played by Willard Waterman, which is written by John Elliott and Andy White, who is partially transcribed. Included in the cast are Walter Tetley, Lillian Randolph, Stanley Ferrar, Viola Vaughn, Jessica Patrick, Isabelle Randolph, and Dick LeGrand. Musical compositions by Jack Meakin. This is John Heaston saying good night for the Kraft Foods Company, makers of the famous line of Kraft quality food products. Be sure to listen in next week and every week for the further adventures of the great Gillisleeve. There are two kinds of delicious Kraft prepared mustard. Mild Kraft mustard, so smooth and delicately spiced, and Kraft mustard with snappy horseradish added. And whichever you prefer, remember, with a little mustard, you add a lot of tang. Try it on cold sandwiches, hamburgers, frankfurters, and cold cuts. Enjoy the wonderful sauces you can make for hot meat and vegetable courses with Kraft prepared mustard. Keep both kinds on hand and keep the whole family happy. Get Mild Kraft mustard and Kraft mustard with snappy horseradish added at your favorite food store. Tonight, play you best...