 Welcome back to the Heart of the Matter. Today we're dealing with racial tensions. We have discussed history and the impacts of our historical systemic racism that has been built as a foundational cornerstone of our society in the United States. We have talked about challenges, overcoming challenges, some hopes, some solutions. And we want to talk about fears and facing fears in this episode. I'm honored to be joined by Sandy Holman, the director of the Culture Co-op in United in Unity, a local expert here in the Davis community. And I want to remind our viewers that these are tough topics. It's a reason why a lot of people turn the news off, turn the TV off, don't ever watch anything that has to do with these issues. And I'm not sure that we're doing the best thing we can for society by putting our head in the sand. So I'm hoping that my white brothers and sisters will join me in becoming a better white ally, becoming more involved, more educated, more aware of the moments in our daily interactions that are filled with racial tension. I know that Sandy has a few things she'd like to talk about at the top of this episode, and then we'll go from there. So I wanted to talk about, since we're talking about facing our fears, that we are definitely living in a culture of fear. And when we are living in a culture of fear, that means that there are those and often some who are in our leadership who will take advantage of that cultural fear for individual gain. We're seeing that right now in the current political process. And what's dangerous about not facing our fears, our living in a culture of fear, is that it makes people tend to be more irrational, including myself. When I'm fearful, my decision making suffers, the actions I take aren't always the best actions. I'm more prone to do anxiety, stress, depress kinds of behaviors. And so it's really problematic when as a country, we have a collective amount of that not facing our fears going on. So when we are in this kind of culture, what it means, it has some ramifications. It means that we're more apt to willingly give our rights away. So like after September 11, which is a horrific event, everyone would acknowledge that, there was such a culture of fear that was created. And some people inflamed that more than just the incident itself by what they said and how they responded. And we got the Patriot Act, which most people haven't read, probably covered to cover, but you need to read the Patriot Act. And we supported it wholeheartedly, but I think if most people weren't acting out of fear and had a little time had gone by, and if they've read the Patriot Act, they would not have supported the Patriot Act. We've given up so much of our individual civil rights in a culture that is already in a place where they're abusing those certainly with certain populations. So as we talk about facing our fear, we need to realize we're in a culture of it that there are leaders and demagogued type of leaders who will manipulate and take advantage of it, and we will be more likely to support and do irrational things that go against our individual and collective best interests. So I'm really, really concerned. It also makes it more likely for people who are on the outliers of that bell curve to take a comment that they heard in the media or something or buy a leader in our country and literally go act on it in a harmful and sometimes lethal way toward whoever the target that comment was directed for. That's what we're at right now. Well, we've seen that. We've definitely seen that. Well, yes, definitely. Gabby Giffords is just an amazing survivor story, but we've seen it in our presidential election for the first time in my memory, and I've been following presidential elections since McGovern. We find that one candidate is overtly and covertly calling on people to pick up arms and solve problems if he's not elected. And I know that for me, that is something that I can shrug off because I'm not going to do that. I'm pretty sure none of my neighbors are going to do that. I don't own a gun. I don't want to own a gun. I'm pretty sure I would hurt myself with it, but I respect the right of people who do want to own a gun and be safe with it. It worries me about the police system, how they can be safe with so many people that are weaponized on the street. There's those concerns, but we have heard from our leaders and from our media, from the literati of the media world, some really scary, as I say, covert and overt calls to pick up arms. And the concerning thing is not only does this hurt high-profile figures and political leaders and so forth, it hurts laypeople, groups of people. So right now, there's always been an inflammation of fear toward people with darker skin, brown, black, just darker skin in general throughout the history as we talked about of our country because of how we structured things. Right now, that fear is acute and it puts our lives in danger because people are in this heightened sense of fear where they're more likely to see someone as a threat. This is played out in the police department. They're talking and having these discussions where well-intentioned officers are more fearful of certain people based on how they looked and who they are. But average citizens, like you said, outliers and some average folks who are just tipping toward an edge because of the stress and anxiety that this all produces. And they do something that they would have never done if they weren't in that culture of fear individually and collectively as a country. So it's critical that we all really take a deep breath and do what we need to do to deal with this insidious things that are happening out in our community and be real about it. But take a deep breath before we totally collectively lose our mindset and fall into a sort of anarchy. And I already see hints of that happening. I know that sounds crazy to people, but I already see hints of that happening in communities which quickly, you know, where gatherings quickly turn into some sort of dispute. The other day as I was riding out of Davis, I'm going to tell the truth about myself. I saw two cars driving with a Confederate flag flying off of their trucks and I am a peaceful, loving, proactive, and love is not a wimpy thing. It takes courage to put yourself in danger to fight these kinds of issues that I've spent my life fighting. It is not easy. I don't share with everyone the threats I get are the things that have happened in my life as a result of the work that I do. But seeing those two trucks drive me, an average decent person, I found myself having thoughts and visions and speeding up behind trying to get the next to the car. And it really took, I'll just say an angel of sorts, saying, what the heck are you doing? And what are you going to do if you catch them? So if I have a reasonable level of decorum and insanity and love is a foundation and all that, think about the person who's on the edge for a variety of reasons. So I just wanted to say that about film one green. And as we talk about, as we enter into talking a little bit about white privilege, again, I want to say to my white brothers and sisters. I really do see all groups of people and ethnicities as my brothers and sisters, since we traced our roots back just in case you didn't know to Africa. We all come from Africa, folks. And that's a historically accepted fact, except for some outlier people who are upset about it. I really do see kind of the same group that doesn't believe in global warming, you know, evolution, you know, they, yeah. Anyway, I digress. And I want to say to them that, no, I don't blame you for slavery. I don't blame you for building and putting these systems in place in such a way that they still exist today. I don't blame you for the fact that you, on average, live in nicer neighborhoods and have the opportunity to have more wealth and all that. But I do want to hold you accountable to the fact that you are, as we mentioned earlier, benefiting from that entrenched white people affirmative action that was put into place by those structures. So you have a role to play in creating an even playing field. And I want to say that it can feel like reverse racism and it can feel fearful that you're losing your power when you've had so much privilege that for other groups to ask for equality feels like they're trying to reverse the trend. That's because there's been so much privilege, whether you were conscious of it or not, in your whiteness to be able to access certain things that most others can't access on a regular basis. And of course, everyone has different experiences. So I'm talking bell-curvish-like. I'm talking about the masses. There's always outliers and different things. Well, because so much of this is also socioeconomic. Not to give people a pass, but socioeconomically, if you are poor and white or poor and black, you may get similar treatment from society's systems. You may have similar struggles. Your kids may go to the same bad schools. You may have difficulty getting a mortgage or all of those things. But that's not to minimize the built-in white privilege that centuries old that has gone from the foundations of this country. It was based on, as you have said in other segments, the backs of slaves. Well, and I also want to add, and it was a woman who made that comment, by the way, where she was saying, I understand it might feel like reverse racism and all that. It wasn't my original thought, but I had been thinking along the lines that, because I was finding it egregious that people would call it reverse racism because they didn't understand that racism does take power too. So at best they could say it's prejudice. But that's what was kind of going on. You've had certain privileges as a group overall that many other groups haven't had. And so when someone wants to just equalize the situation, they can feel like, don't take it away. And they can feel like inequality. And on that note, which ties in, which brings me to the Black Lives Matter movement, it's really disingenuous to say something like all lives matter. Because of course we know that every single life does matter. But when you make a comment like that, it's really a distraction technique because it's not acknowledging that really the Black Lives Matter movement could have said Black Lives Matter too, and it probably would have served them a lot of grief, because what that movement is trying to indicate is that because of these entrenched systemic historical practices that are still playing out today and have morphed into modern day practices and policies and stuff, our lives are more likely to be subjected to a variety of notrosities that people couldn't imagine from small to large, including lethal and ending in death because of it. So that's what that movement is trying to say. It's never said that no one's life matter. It's bringing attention to the fact that we have a hierarchical system based on color often and your sex often and other isms often that make those who have the darkest skin in particular, or African Americans, not seem to count. And not counting. They're not counting. If you look at the actual, just say it, not seem to count. They're not counting. So we need to keep that in mind when we start coming up with these statements. I know people mean well and they're trying to show their common care and love. But again, these are all systemic oppressive distraction techniques and techniques in general that take away from what's really going on and what really needs to be addressed. Again, as I told you, when I do trainings and I, you have to choose an ethnicity and I'll put European American. No, actually, I usually will say Latino, Native or Indigenous, Asian or African American, no one except the black people in the room because they've lived with it and they love and they claim their blackness wants to be black. And that's telling in so many ways. It's that white privilege of understanding, well, the next best thing to be is Asian. And then the next best thing to be is a Mexican and then a Native or Indigenous person and then a black. So I'll choose that. So white privilege is something that's real from the littlest ways from when I go into a store in most stores and I can't find band-aids or foundation or a variety of things, you know, hair products that meet my needs to the largest ways of you getting built in privileges that are make it more likely for you to get a loan and buy a house in a nice community to be able to subsidize your children's education. You know, it's a real thing. It's white affirmative action for those who want to keep calling out affirmative action, which by the way was primarily created to benefit white women. And so we really again need to understand the history of all of this as we talk about it. And I know as an African-American woman, I have not had any privileges of being an African-American woman except personally, because I was taught by my grandfather that I was a queen and I have a gift and, you know, your gift is love and I love myself. But I would be lying to you if I didn't say my dark skin and my African-American descent has not caused me untold challenges as I've navigated my pathways along society in this community of Davis and Yolo County and beyond. And I know you're going to share something on that note, too. Well, this year, you know, the shootings, unfortunate shooting deaths and sometimes deaths in custody of many African-Americans. I believe that the Guardian's website currently has us up to, and if I could only use technology, we'd know that sooner. People who watch the election night coverage are not going to find this hard to believe. And I just moved it off of there. We're going back to it. The Guardian does a good job of capturing as many of these as are reported and of kind of keeping a database. The Washington Post is also another organization that is keeping a database of these things if you want to keep track of it yourself and be more educated and more aware. But I will say, you know, they come fast and furious. I mean, you almost can't keep up with the names. And there are a few things that have happened in the last couple of weeks that really touched me to my core. I am an avid political watcher and participator in a presidential election is one of my favorite times. And this is a groundbreaking earth-shattering, glass ceiling-shattering presidential election, and I'm thrilled for that. And so I do find myself watching a lot of news, a lot more news than I normally would. And I will say, when Keith Scott was shot in Charlotte, two couple weeks ago at any rate, there was a video released from his wife, from her iPhone. And I watched it in its entirety. It was difficult. It wasn't something I enjoyed. I was in the comfort of my own home. Nothing was going to happen to me. And I will say the comments that came from the white, skinny, good-looking announcers were amazing. This one woman on CNN, and I wish I'd written down her name, almost broke down in tears because she said, if I'd been standing there filming this, I would not have followed police orders. I would not have stopped and stood there while they shot my husband dead. I would not, I would have rushed over to him as he laid on the ground. Keith Scott's wife did none of those things. She stood there. She documented it. She said, I can't believe you shot him. I can't believe you shot him. He better not be dead. He better not be dead. There were some profanities thrown in there. I think we can all understand that. But in that moment, to put myself, having lived in Davis most of my life, in the shoes of someone who would videotape the death of a loved one while they're trying to tell the people who have come to that apartment complex for a completely different reason. They weren't there to find him. They were there to serve a warrant on someone else. He was sitting in his truck and he was a large African-American man. So I just want to say one of the reasons why I feel and know my heart without even having talked to her that she had the presence to do that is because African-Americans and other people of color in general are taught about these kinds of situations, particularly when it comes to interacting with the police. We know that if we don't even do the basics, our lives may be in trouble. The basics being listen to the police, do what they say, try to let them know, hey, I'm reaching for my everything. And I recently was stopped by the police here in Davis. I will say this. Right after one of those, the Texas incident where there had been a shooting of two black males and then shooting of the police, and my husband and I driving in the night in Davis, I could not believe that this officer would not only stop us late at night for what she ultimately told us why she stopped us, under those circumstances where she was obviously nervous and I was horrifically nervous. Me, a strong African-American woman who knows this is not the first time I've been stopped by police in my life for silly things. I'm just going to be honest. And when she told us it was the little bulb light that was in between our two lights that was on our trunk that was out and that she could ticket us for that, my mind went numb. I just went numb, not because it was the first time I've been stopped. And my husband had his hands on the driving wheel and he's of a different culture, right? I couldn't believe that under the tense circumstances that that would be a priority to stop me for. And a colleague of mine later went and told the chief of police about this, because I didn't want to, even to me, I wasn't going to do what I had in my mind focused on other things. And he was told that she was a rather new officer and blah, blah, blah, I don't know the whole story. But having said that, we are taught in horrific situations under tremendous amount of stress to work almost in a dual way. One, she's trying to inform them as she's recording, as she's dealing with her feelings that she had to have of what she was witnessing. It is something that most people could not ever imagine and fathom it and the impact. I didn't even watch the video because I'm tired of seeing black and brown men killed in particular. But just hearing her voice, I did listen to the audio tape, was crushing. And again, not because it's the first time, we're talking thousands and thousands all the way back to an Ida B. Wells. And even before that, when she wrote the red record about trying to keep track of lynchings and hostility and beatings and stuff, because it was so rampant, this is not new except for white America who's seeing it on video tapes for the most part. And those who knew because they studied this. And that's right. I mean, I think technology is not the answer to everything. But putting a camera and a video camera, a periscope, a Facebook live in the hands of the citizenry to me is almost better than the right to bear arms. And don't misunderstand me. I want that stuff. That's part of the 10 point plan from the National Urban League, that they have policing cameras which are not easily edited or taken off or whatever so that you can manipulate these images to sway a public in a particular way as far as to... That has to happen. That should have been happening years ago. So I am all for it because it's created a consciousness at least even if people are trying to rationalize why that person was killed, which is where we're at mostly now with my white brothers and sisters often. They want to have a reason. Well, let's see, he must have did something. Obviously it looks on tape like he was outright murdered when he shouldn't have been. Oh, he was running away and they shot him. But he must have did something prior. So we're looking for reasons because we want to think and fall into the myth that we're equalized fair and just society. One in our hearts. You can't watch these things over and over which we've seen enough of them now and even with the advent of all these things and know that something's not wrong if you are really being honest with yourself. But I think that we talk about the bubble but I think for a lot of us it's a shell. Maybe it's an egg shell, maybe it's a walnut shell, various thicknesses of the shell. But for those cracks to get through and to let the light in, as Leonard Cohen would say, I do think it takes listening to and being aware of and facing our fears. So ask yourself that question. And how many women in this community have sons who are 15 to 24? Well, if they're African American in many communities, they're an endangered species. And hands up, I'm not moving, I'm following orders, doesn't always solve the problem. We had a man in Tulsa, Oklahoma who was shot, his car broke down. And now they say he didn't react appropriately. Any of us that drive a car, you're driving along, you look in your rear view mirror and there's a black and white behind you and our sheriff, Ed Prieto, has even said this, feel butterflies in your stomach, you feel like, oh crap, what did I do now? You're like the boss in the Simpsons trying to look through the steering wheel. My response was, and again, I have been stopped by police for silly reasons. I'm not saying, there's been some times I was speeding or whatever, I get it. But when I look over my life and my brother's life, who's been stopped 23 times, my big, my big Huggabare brother, who is one of the most loving people you would ever meet, for me to feel like when he comes to Davis and other places, I have to go pick him up from the bus stop because at least he'd have to walk a block or two to get to my house and a police happens to be going by. My brothers have been stopped and my cousins and my family have been stopped disproportionately and in a ridiculous number of times and ways that we know it's an issue. So facing our fears is critical. So if I am a person in general and a part of humanity, I need to ask myself some basic questions. Like, what am I really afraid of? A white person may say to themselves, what is really my fear when it comes to black people or what's going on with race in this country? And if they keep asking those questions and take it to its natural conclusion, they may even discover that, wow, I realize I've got a lot of conditioning that's been happening in my mind. I'm watching way too much TV and the people they mostly show are black and brown. I don't really know any black or brown people. I don't have any interaction with them. All my information about them is through some third source that could be totally polluted and biased. And then maybe they'll realize one thing I need to do to face my fear is change my paradigm for how I'm living my life and interacting with black and brown people. I'm just giving an example. Right. No, I think that's exactly right. And we are almost to the end of this episode. But I do, I think that's right. I think I come from Oklahoma. Don't tell anyone. It's just between us. Tulsa actually is one of the more liberal places in Oklahoma, which actually those two words don't very often go together. So I was surprised to see this out of Tulsa, although Tulsa does have a horrible history. No, those right. Black Wall Street. Oh, yeah, they did not like African Americans. That's for another episode getting ahead of themselves. And that was 1910, 1913. But I will say one thing that I learned at a very young age from my great-grandfather was, and he also lived in Oklahoma, was you have to walk in somebody else's moccasins. Oklahoma is a third Native American. And so therefore that was what that was about. And I would urge all of our white and other allies out there to take a moment and put yourself in their shoes. And on that note, I want to mention some websites that are just invaluable. If you spend even an hour on one of the top three websites, we also have the Culture Co-op websites up there and it's the bottom. But if you go to policylink.org or Corwin Institute, I know they're putting them up on the screen, Southern Poverty Law Center. Those three will web you out to so many others and you can do that safe at-home learning if you're afraid to go to a training or a forum or a cultural experience where you might learn some education and understand these dynamics that are systemic and insidiously a part of our society and living. So I encourage people to go to those websites and, you know, learn. And then go to our website from a local perspective. We're going to be doing a lot of things and a lot of great things. I want to thank Sandy Holman for being here for this series on racial tensions. I want to thank you for tuning in to the heart of the matter and stay tuned. We will be back with other topics, difficult topics, hopefully asking the tough questions that you've always wanted to hear the answers to. Thanks so much.