 Chapter 4. The Sinking of the Titanic, Seen from a Lifeboat Looking back now on the descent of our boat down the ship's side, it is a matter of surprise, I think, to all the occupants to remember how little they thought of it at the time. It was a great adventure, certainly it was exciting to feel the boat sink by jerks, foot by foot as the ropes were paid out from above and shrieked as they passed through the pulley blocks, the new ropes and gear creaking under the strain of a boat laden with people, and the crew calling to the sailors above as the boat tilted slightly, now at one end, now at the other, lower aft, lower stern, and lower together as she came level again, but I do not think we felt much apprehension about reaching the water safely. It was certainly thrilling to see the black hull of the ship on one side and the sea seventy feet below on the other, or to pass down by cabins and saloons brilliantly lighted, but we knew nothing of the apprehension felt in the minds of some of the officers whether the boats and lowering gear would stand the strain of the weight of our sixty people. The ropes, however, were new and strong and the boat did not buckle in the middle as an older boat might have done. Whether it was right or not to lower boats full of people to the water, and it seems likely it was not, I think there can be nothing but the highest praise given to the officers and crew above for the way in which they lowered the boats one after the other safely to the water. It may seem a simple matter to read about such a thing, but any sailor knows apparently that it is not so. An experienced officer has told me that he has seen a boat lowered in practice from a ship's deck with a trained crew and no passengers in the boat, with practiced sailors paying out the ropes in daylight and calm weather with the ship lying in dock, and has seen the boat tilt over and pitch the crew headlong into the sea. Contrast these conditions with those obtaining that Monday morning at twelve forty five a.m. and it is impossible not to feel that whether the lowering crew were trained or not, whether they had or had not drilled since coming on board, they did their duty in a way that argues the greatest efficiency. I cannot help feeling the deepest gratitude to the two sailors who stood at the ropes above and lowered us to the sea. I do not suppose they were saved. Perhaps one explanation of our feeling little sense of the unusual in leaving the Titanic in this way was that it seemed the climax to a series of extraordinary occurrences. The magnitude of the whole thing dwarfed events that in the ordinary way would seem to be full of imminent peril. It is easy to imagine it. A voyage of four days on a calm sea without a single untoward incident. The presumption, perhaps already mentally half realized, that we should be ashore in forty eight hours and so complete a splendid voyage, and then to feel the engine stop, to be summoned on deck with little time to dress, to tie on a life belt, to see rockets shooting aloft and call for help, to be told to get into a lifeboat. After all these things, it did not seem much to feel the boat sinking down to the sea. It was the natural sequence of previous events and we had learned in the last hour to take things just as they came. At the same time, if anyone should wonder what the sensation is like, it is quite easy to measure seventy five feet from the windows of a tall house or a block of flats, look down to the ground and fancy himself with some sixty other people crowded into a boat so tightly that he could not sit down or move about and then picture the boat sinking down in a continuous series of jerks as the sailors pay out the ropes through the cleats above. There are more pleasant sensations than this. How thankful we were that the sea was calm and the Titanic lay so steadily and quietly as we dropped down her side. We were spared the bumping and grinding against the side which so often accompanies the launching of boats. I do not remember that we even had to fend off our boat while we were trying to get free. As we went down, one of the crew shouted, We are just over the condenser exhaust. We don't want to stay in that long or we shall be swamped. Feel down on the floor and be ready to pull up the pin which lets the ropes free as soon as we are afloat. I had often looked over the side and noticed this stream of water coming out of the side of the Titanic just above the waterline. In fact, so large was the volume of water that as we plowed along and met the waves coming towards us, this stream would cause a splash that sent spray flying. We felt as well as we could in the crowd of people on the floor along the sides with no idea where the pin could be found and none of the crew knew where it was only of its existence somewhere but we never found it and all the time we got closer to the sea and the exhaust roared nearer and nearer until finally we floated with the ropes still holding us from above the exhaust washing us away and the force of the tide driving us back against the side. The latter not of much account in influencing the direction however. Thinking over what followed I imagine we must have touched the water with the condenser stream at our bowels and not in the middle as I thought at one time. At any rate the resultant of these three forces was that we were carried parallel to the ship directly under the place where boat 15 would drop from her davits into the sea. Looking up we saw her already coming down rapidly from B-deck. She must have field almost immediately after hours. We shouted up, stop lowering 14. Footnote. In an account which appeared in the newspapers of April 19th I have described this boat as 14 not knowing they were numbered alternately. End of footnote. In the crew and passengers in the boat above hearing us shout and seeing our position immediately below them shouted the same to the sailors on the boat deck but apparently they did not hear for she dropped down foot by foot 20 feet 15 10 and a stoker and I in the bowels reached up and touched her bottom swinging above our heads trying to push our boat from under her. It seemed now as if nothing could prevent her dropping on us but at this moment another stoker sprang with his knife to the ropes that still held us and I heard him shout one two as he cut them through. The next moment we had swung away from underneath 15 and were clear of her as she dropped into the water in the space we had just before occupied. I do not know how the bow ropes were freed but I imagine that they were cut in the same way for we were washed clear of the Titanic at once by the force of the stream and floated away as the oars were got out. I think we all felt that that was quite the most exciting thing we had yet been through and a great sigh of relief and gratitude went up as we swung away from the boat above our heads but I heard no one cry aloud during the experience not a woman's voice was raised in fear or hysteria. I think we all learned many things that night about the bogey called fear and how the facing of it is much less than the dread of it. The crew was made up of cooks and stewards mostly the former I think their white jackets showing up in the darkness as they pulled away two to an oar. I do not think they can have had any practice in rowing for all night long their oars crossed and clashed. If our safety had depended on speed or accuracy in keeping time it would have gone hard with us. Shouting began from one end of the boat to the other as to what we should do where we should go and no one seemed to have any knowledge how to act. At last we asked who's in charge of this boat but there was no reply. We then agreed by general consent that the stoker who stood in the stern with the tiller should act as captain and from that time he directed the course shouting to the other boats and keeping in touch with them. Not that there was anywhere to go or anything we could do our plan of action was simple to keep all the boats together as far as possible and wait until we were picked up by other liners. The crew had apparently heard of the wireless communications before they left the Titanic but I never heard them say that we were in touch with any boat but the olympic. It was always the olympic that was coming to our rescue. They thought they knew even her distance and making a calculation we came to the conclusion that we ought to be picked up by her about two o'clock in the afternoon but this was not our only hope of rescue. We watched all the time the darkness lasted for steamers lights thinking there might be a chance of other steamers coming near enough to see the lights which some of our boats carried. I am sure there was no feeling in the minds of anyone that we should not be picked up next day. We knew that wireless messages would go out from ship to ship and as one of the stokers said the sea will be covered with ships tomorrow afternoon they will race up from all over the sea to find us. Some even thought that fast torpedo boats might run up ahead of the olympic and yet the olympic was after all the farthest away of them all. Eight other ships lay within 300 miles of us. How thankful we should have been to know how near help was and how many ships had heard our message and were running to the titanic's aid. I think nothing has surprised us more than to learn so many ships were near enough to rescue us in a few hours. Almost immediately after leaving the titanic we saw what we all said was a ship's lights down on the horizon on the titanic's port side two lights one above the other and plainly not one of our boats. We even rode in that direction for some time but the lights drew away and disappeared below the horizon. But this is rather anticipating. We did none of these things first. We had no eyes for anything but the ship we had just left. As the oarsmen pulled slowly away we all turned and took a long look at the mighty vessel towering high above our midget boat and I know it must have been the most extraordinary sight I shall ever be called upon to witness. I realize now how totally inadequate language is to convey to some other person who was not there any real impression of what we saw. But the task must be attempted. The whole picture is so intensely dramatic that while it is not possible to place on paper for eyes to see the actual likeness of the ship as she lay there some sketch of the scene will be possible. First of all the climatic conditions were extraordinary. The night was one of the most beautiful I have ever seen. The sky without a single cloud to mar the perfect brilliance of the stars clustered so thickly together that in places there seemed almost more dazzling points of light set in the black sky than background of sky itself. And each star seemed, in the keen atmosphere free from any haze, to have increased its brilliance tenfold and to twinkle and glitter with a staccato flash that made the sky seem nothing but a setting made for them in which to display their wonder. They seemed so near and their light so much more intense than ever before that fancy suggested they saw this beautiful ship in dire distress below and all their energies had awakened to flash messages across the black dome of the sky to each other telling and warning of the calamity happening in the world beneath. Later when the Titanic had gone down and we lay still on the sea waiting for the day to dawn or a ship to come I remember looking up at the perfect sky and realizing why Shakespeare wrote the beautiful words he puts in the mouth of Lorenzo. Jessica look how the floor of heaven is thick and laid with patins of bright gold. There's not the smallest orb which thou beholdest but in his motion like an angel sings still quiring to the young eyed cherubim's such harmony is in immortal souls but while this muddy vesture of decay doth grossly close it in we cannot hear it. But it seemed almost as if we could that night the stars seemed really to be alive and to talk the complete absence of haze produced a phenomenon I have never seen before where the sky met the sea the line was as clear and definite as the edge of a knife so that the water and the air never merged gradually into each other and blended to a soft and rounded horizon but each element was so exclusively separate that where a star came low down in the sky near the clear cut edge of the waterline it still lost none of its brilliance as the earth revolved and the water edge came up and covered partially the star as it were it simply cut the star in two the upper half continuing to sparkle as long as it was not entirely hidden and throwing a long beam of light along the sea to us in the evidence before the United States Senate Committee the captain of one of the ships near us that night said the stars were so extraordinarily bright near the horizon that he was deceived into thinking that they were ship's lights he did not remember seeing such a night before those who were afloat will all agree with that statement we were often deceived into thinking they were lights of a ship and next the cold air here again was something quite new to us there was not a breath of wind to blow keenly round us as we stood in the boat and because of its continued persistence to make us feel cold it was just a keen bitter icy motionless cold that came from nowhere and yet was there all the time the stillness of it if one can imagine cold being motionless and still was what seemed new and strange and these the sky in the air were overhead and below was the sea here again something uncommon the surface was like a lake of oil heaving gently up and down with a quiet motion that rocked our boat dreamily to and fro we did not need to keep her head to the swell often i watched her lying broadside onto the tide and with a boat loaded as we were this would have been impossible with anything like a swell the sea slipped away smoothly under the boat and i think we never heard it lapping on the sides so oily an appearance was the water so when one of the stokers said he had been to sea for 26 years and never yet seen such a calm night we accepted it as true without comment just as expressive was the remark of another it reminds me of a blooming picnic it was quite true it did a picnic on a lake or a quiet inland river like the can or a backwater on the Thames and so in these conditions of sky and air and sea we gazed broadside on the titanic from a short distance she was absolutely still indeed from the first it seemed as if the blow from the iceberg had taken all the courage out of her and she had just come quietly to rest and was settling down without an effort to save herself without a murmur of protest against such a foul blow for the sea could not rock her the wind was not there to howl noisily around her decks and make the ropes hum from the first what must have impressed all as they watched was the sense of stillness about her and the slow insensible way she sank lower and lower in the sea like a stricken animal the mere bulk alone of the ship viewed from the sea below was an awe inspiring sight imagine a ship nearly a sixth of a mile long 75 feet high to the top decks with four enormous funnels above the decks and masks again high above the funnels with her hundreds of portholes all her saloons and other rooms brilliant with light and all around her little boats filled with those who until a few hours before had trod her decks and read in her libraries and listened to the music of her band in happy content and who were now looking up in amazement at the enormous mass above them and rowing away from her because she was sinking i had often wanted to see her from some distance away and only a few hours before in conversation at lunch with a fellow passenger had registered a vow to get a proper view of her lines and dimensions when we landed at new york to stand some distance away and take in a full view of her beautiful proportions which the narrow approach to the dock at southampton made impossible little did i think that the opportunity was to be found so quickly and so dramatically the background too was a different one from what i had planned for her the black outline of her profile against the sky was bordered all around by stars studded in the sky and her funnels and masks were picked out in the same way her bulk was seen where the stars were blotted out and one other thing was different from expectation the thing that ripped away from us instantly as we saw it all sense of the beauty of the night the beauty of the ship's lines and the beauty of her lights and all these taken in themselves were intensely beautiful that thing was the awful angle made by the level of the sea with the rows of porthole lights along her side and dotted lines row above row the sea level and the rows of lights should have been parallel should never have met and now they met at an angle inside the black hull of the ship there was nothing else to indicate she was injured nothing but this apparent violation of a simple geometrical law that parallel lines should never meet even if produced ever so far both ways but it meant the titanic had sunk by the head until the lowest portholes in the bowels were under the sea and the portholes in the stern were lifted above the normal height we rode away from her in the quietness of the night hoping and praying with all our hearts that she would sink no more and the day would bind her still in the same position as she was then the crew however did not think so it has been said frequently that officers and crew felt assured that she would remain afloat even after they knew the extent of the damage some of them may have done so and perhaps from their scientific knowledge of her construction with more reason at the time than those who said she would sink but at any rate the stokers in our boat had no such illusion one of them i think he was the same man that cut us free from the pulley ropes told us how he was at work in the stoke hole and in anticipation of going off duty in quarter of an hour thus confirming the time of the collision as 1145 had near him a pan of soup keeping hot on some part of the machinery suddenly the whole side of the compartment came in and the water rushed him off his feet picking himself up he sprang for the compartment doorway and was just through the aperture when the watertight door came down behind him like a knife as he said they work them from the bridge he had gone up on deck but was ordered down again at once and with others was told to draw the fires from under the boiler which they did and were then at liberty to come on deck again it seems that this particular knot of stokers must have known almost as soon as anyone the extent of injury he added mournfully i could do with that hot soup now and indeed he could he was clad at the time of collision he said and trousers and singlet both very thin on account of the intense heat in the stoke hole and although he had added a short jacket later his teeth were chattering with the cold he found a place to lie down underneath the tiller on the little platform where our captain stood and there he lay all night with a coat belonging to another stoker thrown over him and i think he must have been almost unconscious a lady next to him who was warmly clad with several coats tried to insist on his having one of hers a fur lined one thrown over him but he absolutely refused while some of the women were insufficiently clad and so the coat was given to an irish girl with pretty alburn hair standing near leaning against the gun whale with an outside berth and so more exposed to the cold air this same lady was able to distribute more of her wraps to the passengers a rug to one a fur boa to another and she has related with amusement that at the moment of climbing up the carpathia side those to whom these articles had been lent offered them all back to her but as like the rest of us she was encumbered with a life belt she had to say she would receive them back at the end of the climb i had not seen my dressing gown since i dropped into the boat but sometime in the night a steerage passenger found it on the floor and put it on it is not easy at this time to call to mind who were in the boat because in the night it was not possible to see more than a few feet away and when dawn came we had eyes only for the rescue ship and the icebergs but so far as my memory serves the list was as follows no first class passengers three women one baby two men from the second cabin and the other passengers steerage mostly women a total of about 35 passengers the rest about 25 and possibly more were crew and stokers near to me all night was a group of three swedish girls warmly clad standing close together to keep warm and very silent indeed there was very little talking at any time one conversation took place that is i think worth repeating one more proof that the world after all is a small place the 10 months old baby which was handed down at the last moment was received by a lady next to me the same who shared her wraps and coats the mother had found a place in the middle and was too tightly packed to come through to the child and so it slept contentedly for about an hour in a stranger's arms it then began to cry and the temporary nurse said will you feel down and see if the baby's feet are out of the blanket i don't know much about babies but i think their feet must be kept warm wriggling down as well as i could i found its toes exposed to the air and wrapped them well up when it ceased crying at once it was evidently a successful diagnosis having recognized the lady by her voice it was much too dark to see faces as one of my visa v at the pursers table i said surely you are miss blank yes she replied and you must be mr beasley how curious we should find ourselves in the same boat remembering that she had joined the boat at queen's town i said do you know clawn mel a letter from a great friend of mine who was staying there at blank giving the address came aboard at queen's town yes it is my home and i was dining at blank just before i came away it seemed that she knew my friend too and we agreed that of all places in the world to recognize mutual friends a crowded lifeboat a float in mid ocean at 2 a.m 1200 miles from our destination was one of the most unexpected and all the time as we watched the titanic sank lower and lower by the head and the angle became wider and wider as the stern porthole lights lifted and the bow lights sank and it was evident she was not to stay afloat much longer the captain stoker now told the oarsmen to row away as hard as they could two reasons seemed to make this a wise decision one that as she sank she would create such a wave of suction that boats if not sucked under by being too near would be in danger of being swamped by the wave her sinking would create and we all knew our boat was in no condition to ride big waves crowded as it was and manned with untrained oarsmen the second was that an explosion might result from the water getting to the boilers and debris might fall within a wide radius and yet as it turned out neither of these things happened at about 2 15 a.m i think we were any distance from a mile to two miles away it is difficult for a landsman to calculate distance at sea but we had been afloat an hour and a half and the boat was heavily loaded the oarsmen unskilled and our course erratic following now one light and now another sometimes a star and sometimes a light from a port lifeboat which had turned away from the titanic in the opposite direction and lay almost on our horizon and so we could not have gone very far away about this time the water had crept up almost to her side light and the captain's bridge and it seemed a question only of minutes before she sank the oarsmen lay on their oars and all in the lifeboat were motionless as we watched her in absolute silence save some who would not look and buried their heads on each other's shoulders the lights still shone with the same brilliance but not so many of them many were now below the surface i have often wondered since whether they continued to light up the cabins when the portholes were underwater they may have done so and then as we gazed all struck she tilted slowly up revolving apparently about a center of gravity just a stern of a midships until she attained a vertically upright position and there she remained motionless as she swung up her lights which had shone without a flicker all night went out suddenly came on again for a single flash and then went out altogether and as they did so there came a noise which many people wrongly i think have described as an explosion it has always seemed to me that there was nothing but the engines and machinery coming loose from their bolts and bearings and falling through the compartments smashing everything in their way it was partly a roar partly a groan partly a rattle and partly a smash and it was not a sudden roar as an explosion would be it went on successively for some seconds possibly 15 to 20 as the heavy machinery dropped down to the bottom now the bowels of the ship i suppose it fell through the end and sank first before the ship but it was a noise no one had heard before and no one wishes to hear again it was stupefying stupendous as it came to us along the water it was as if all the heavy things one could think of had been thrown downstairs from the top of a house smashing each other and the stairs and everything in the way several apparently authentic accounts have been given in which definite stories of explosions have been related in some cases even with wreckage blown up and the ship broken in two but i think such accounts will not stand close analysis in the first place the fires had been withdrawn and the steam allowed to escape sometime before she sank and the possibility of explosion from this cause seems very remote then as just related the noise was not sudden and definite but prolonged more like the roll and crash of thunder the probability of the noise being caused by engines falling down will be seen by referring to figure two page 116 where the engines are placed in compartments three four and five as the titanic tilted up they would almost certainly fall loose from their bed and plunge down through the other compartments no phenomena like that pictured in some american and english papers occurred that of the ship breaking in two and the two ends being raised above the surface i saw these drawings in preparation on board the carpetia and said at the time that they bore no resemblance to what actually happened when the noise was over the titanic was still upright like a column we could see her now only as the stern and some 150 feet of her stood outlined against the star spec sky looming black in the darkness and in this position she continued for some minutes i think as much as five minutes but it may have been less then first sinking back a little at the stern i thought she slid slowly forwards through the water and dived slantingly down the sea closed over her and we had seen the last of the beautiful ship on which we had embarked four days before at south ampton and in place of the ship on which all our interest had been concentrated for so long and towards which we looked most of the time because it was still the only object on the sea which was a fixed point to us in place of the titanic we had the level sea now stretching in an unbroken expanse to the horizon heaving gently just as before with no indication on the surface that the waves had just closed over the most wonderful vessel ever built by man's hand the stars looked down just the same and the air was just as bitterly cold there seemed a great sense of loneliness when we were left on the sea in a small boat without the titanic not that we were uncomfortable except for the cold nor in danger we did not think we were either but the titanic was no longer there we waited head on for the wave which we thought might come the wave we had heard so much of from the crew in which they said had been known to travel for miles and it never came but although the titanic left us no such legacy of a wave as she went to the bottom she left us something we would willingly forget forever something which it is well not to let the imagination dwell on the cries of many hundreds of our fellow passengers struggling in the ice cold water i would willingly omit any further mention of this part of the disaster from this book but for two reasons it is not possible first that as a matter of history it should be put on record and secondly that these cries were not only an appeal for help in the awful conditions of danger in which the drowning found themselves an appeal that could never be answered but an appeal to the whole world to make such conditions of danger and hopelessness and possible ever again a cry that called to the heavens for the very injustice of its own existence a cry that clamored for its own destruction we were utterly surprised to hear this cry go up as the waves closed over the titanic we had heard no sound of any kind from her since we left her side and as mentioned before we did not know how many lifeboats she had or how many rafts the crew may have known but they probably did not and if they did they never told the passengers we should not have been surprised to know all were safe on some lifesaving device so that unprepared as we were for such a thing the cries of the drowning floated across the quiet sea filled us with stupefaction we longed to return and rescue at least some of the drowning but we knew it was impossible the boat was filled to standing room and to return would mean the swamping of us all and so the captain stoker told his crew to row away from the cries we tried to sing to keep all from thinking of them but there was no heart for singing in the boat at that time the cries which were loud and numerous at first died away gradually one by one but the night was clear frosty and still the water smooth and the sounds must have carried on its level surface free from any obstruction for miles certainly much farther from the ship than we were situated i think the last of them must have been heard nearly 40 minutes after the titanic sank life belts would keep the survivors afloat for hours but the cold water was what stopped the cries there must have come to all those safe in the lifeboats scattered around the drowning at various distances a deep resolve that if anything could be done by them in the future to prevent the repetition of such sounds they would do it at whatever cost of time or other things and not only to them are those cries an imperative call but to every man and woman who has known of them it is not possible that ever again can such conditions exist but it is a duty imperative on one and all to see that they do not think of it a few more boats a few more planks of wood nailed together in a particular way at a trifling cost and all those men and women whom the world can so ill afford to lose would be with us today there would be no mourning in thousands of homes which are now desolate and these words need not have been written end of chapter four chapter five of the loss of the ss titanic by laurence beasley this libra vox recording is in the public domain recorded by alice and hester chapter five the rescue all accounts agree that the titanic sunk about 220 a.m a watch and our boat gave the time as 230 a.m shortly afterwards we were then in touch with three other boats one was 15 on our starboard quarter and the others i have always supposed were 9 and 11 but i do not know definitely we never got into close touch with each other but called occasionally across the darkness and saw them looming near and then drawing away again we called to ask if any officer were aboard the other three but did not find one so in the absence of any plan of action we rode slowly forward or what we thought was forward for it was in the direction the titanic's bowels were pointing before she sank i see now that we must have been pointing northwest for we presently saw the northern lights on the starboard and again when the carpatia came up from the south we saw her from behind us on the southeast and turned our boat around to get to her i imagine the boats must have spread themselves over the ocean fan wise as they escaped from the titanic those on the starboard and port sides forward being almost dead ahead of her and the stern boats being broadside from her this explains why the port boats were so much longer in reaching the carpatia as late as 8 30 am while some of the starboard boats came up as early as 4 10 am some of the port boats had to row across the place where the titanic sank to get to the carpatia through the debris of chairs and wreckage of all kinds none of the other three boats near us had a light and we missed lights badly we could not see each other in the darkness we could not signal to ships which might be rushing up full speed from any quarter to the titanic's rescue and now we had been through so much it would seem hard to have to encounter the additional danger of being in the line of a rescuing ship we felt again for the lantern beneath our feet along the sides and i managed this time to get down to the locker below the tiller platform and open it in front by removing a board to find nothing but the zinc air tank which renders the boat unsinkable when upset i do not think there was a light in the boat we felt also for food and water and found none and came to the conclusion that none had been put in but here we were mistaken i have a letter from second officer light toller in which he assures me that he and fourth officer pitman examined every lifeboat from the titanic as they lay on the carpatia's deck afterwards and found biscuits and water in each not that we wanted any food or water then we thought of the time that might elapse before the olympic picked us up in the afternoon towards three a.m. we saw a faint glow in the sky ahead on the starboard quarter the first gleams we thought of the coming dawn we were not certain of the time and were eager perhaps to accept too readily any relief from darkness only too glad to be able to look each other in the face and see who are our companions in good fortune to be free from the hazard of lying in a steamer's track invisible in the darkness but we were doomed to disappointment the soft light increased for a time and died away a little glowed again and then remained stationary for some minutes the northern lights it suddenly came to me and so it was presently the light arched fan wise across the northern sky with faint streamers reaching towards the pole star i had seen them of about the same intensity in england some years ago and knew them again a sigh of disappointment went through the votes as we realized that the day was not yet but had we known it something more comforting even than the day was in store for us all night long we had watched the horizon with eager eyes for signs of a steamer's lights we heard from the captain stoker that the first appearance would be a single light on the horizon the mast headlight followed shortly by a second one lower down on the deck if these two remained in vertical alignment and a distance between them increased as the lights drew nearer we might be certain it was a steamer but what a night to see that first light on the horizon we saw it many times as the earth revolved and some stars rose on the clear horizon and others sank down to it there were lights on every quarter some we watched and followed until we saw the deception and grew wiser some were lights from those of our votes that were fortunate enough to have lanterns but these were generally easily detected as they rose and fell in the near distance once they raised our hopes only to sink them to zero again near what seemed to be the horizon on the port quarter we saw two lights close together and thought this must be our double light but as we gazed across the miles that separated us the lights slowly drew apart and we realized that they were two boats lanterns at different distances from us in line one behind the other they were probably the forward port boats that had to return so many miles next morning across the titanic's graveyard but notwithstanding these hopes and disappointments the absence of lights food and water as we thought and the bitter cold it would not be correct to say we were unhappy in those early morning hours the cold that settled down on us like a garment that wraps close around was the only real discomfort and that we could keep it bay by not thinking too much about it as well as by vigorous friction and gentle stamping on the floor it made too much noise to stamp hard i never heard that anyone in boat b had any effects from the cold even the stoker who was so thinly clad came through without harm after all there were many things to be thankful for so many that they made insignificant the temporary inconvenience of the cold the crowded boat the darkness and the 101 things that in the ordinary way we might regard as unpleasant the quiet sea the beautiful night how different from two nights later when flashes of lightning in peels of thunder broke the sleep of many on board the carpetia and above all the fact of being in a boat at all when so many of our fellow passengers and crew whose cries no longer moaned across the water to us were silent in the water gratitude was the dominant note in our feelings then but grateful as we were our gratitude was soon to be increased a hundredfold about 3 30 a.m as nearly as i can judge someone in the bow called our attention to a faint far away gleam in the southeast we all turned quickly to look and there it was certainly streaming up from behind the horizon like a distant flash of a warship's searchlight then a faint boom like guns a far off and the light died away again the stoker who had lain all night under the tiller sat up suddenly as if from a dream the overcoat hanging from his shoulders i can see him now steering out across the sea to where the sound had come from and hear him shout that was a cannon but it was not it was the carpetia's rocket though we did not know it until later but we did know now that something was not far away racing up to our help and signaling to us a preliminary message to cheer our hearts until she arrived with every sense alert eyes gazing intently at the horizon and ears open for the least sound we waited in absolute silence on the quiet night and then creeping over the edge of the sea where the flash had been we saw a single light and presently a second below it and in a few minutes they were well above the horizon and they remained in line but we had been deceived before and we waited a little longer before we allowed ourselves to say we were safe the lights came up rapidly so rapidly it seemed only a few minutes though it must have been longer between first seeing them and finding them well above the horizon and bearing down rapidly on us we did not know what sort of a vessel was coming but we knew she was coming quickly and we searched for paper rags anything that would burn we were quite prepared to burn our coats if necessary a hasty paper torch was twisted out of letters found in someone's pocket lighted and held aloft by the stoker standing on the tiller platform the little light shown in flickers on the faces of the occupants of the boat ran in broken lines for a few yards along the black oily sea where for the first time i saw the presence of that awful thing which had caused the whole terrible disaster ice in little chunks the size of one's fist bobbing harmlessly up and down and spluttered away to blackness again as the stoker threw the burning remnants of paper overboard but had we known it the danger of being run down was already over one reason being that the carpetia had already seen the lifeboat which all night long had shown a green light the first indication the carpetia had of our position but the real reason is to be found in the carpetia's log went full speed ahead during the night stopped at four a.m with an iceberg dead ahead it was a good reason with our torch burnt and in darkness again we saw the headlights stop and realized that the rescuer had hoped too a sigh of relief went up when we thought no hurried scramble had to be made to get out of her way with a chance of just being missed by her and having to meet the wash of her screws as she tore by us we waited and she slowly swung around and revealed herself to us as a large steamer with all her portholes alight i think the way those lights came slowly into view was one of the most wonderful things we shall ever see it meant deliverance at once that was the amazing thing to us all we had thought of the afternoon as our time of rescue and here only a few hours after the titanic sank before it was yet light we were to be taken aboard it seemed almost too good to be true and i think everyone's eyes filled with tears men's as well as women's as they saw again the rows of lights one above the other shining kindly to them across the water and thank god was murmured in heartfelt tones around the boat the boat swung round and the crew began their long row to the steamer the captain called for a song and let off with pull for the shore boys the crew took it up quaveringly and the passengers joined in but i think one verse was all they sang it was too early yet gratitude was too deep and sudden and its overwhelming intensity for us to sing very steadily presently finding the song had not gone very well we tried a cheer and that went better it was more easy to relieve our feelings with a noise and time and tune were not necessary ingredients in a cheer in the midst of our thankfulness for deliverance one name was mentioned with the deepest feeling of gratitude that of marconi i wish he had been here to hear the chorus of gratitude that went out to him for the wonderful invention that spared us many hours and perhaps many days of wandering about the sea and hunger and storm and cold perhaps our gratitude was sufficiently intense and vivid to marconi some of it to him that night all around we saw boats making for the carpathia and heard their shouts and cheers our crew rode hard in friendly rivalry with other boats to be among the first home but we must have been eighth or ninth at the side we had a heavy load aboard and had to row round a huge iceberg on the way and then as if to make everything complete for our happiness came the dawn first a beautiful quiet shimmer away in the east then a soft golden glow that crept up stealthily from behind the skyline as if it were trying not to be noticed as it stole over the sea and spread itself quietly in every direction so quietly as if to make us believe it had been there all the time and we had not observed it the sky turned faintly pink and in the distance the thinnest fleasiest clouds stretched in thin bands across the horizon and close down to it becoming every moment more and more pink and next the stars died slowly save one which remained long after the others just above the horizon and nearby with the crescent turned to the north and the lower horn just touching the horizon the thinnest palest of moons and with the dawn came a faint breeze from the west the first breath of wind we had felt since the titanic stopped her engines anticipating a few hours as the day drew on to eight a.m. the time the last boats came up this breeze increased to a fresh wind which whipped up the sea so that the last boat laden with people had an anxious time in the choppy waves before they reached the carpathia an officer remarked that one of the boats could not have stayed afloat another hour the wind had held off just long enough the captain shouted along our boat to the crew as they strained at the oars two pulling and an extra one facing them and pushing to try to keep pace with the other boats a new moon turn your money over boys that is if you have any we laughed at him for the quaint superstition at such a time but it was good to laugh again and he showed his disbelief in another superstition when he added well I shall never say again that 13 is an unlucky number boat 13 is the best friend we ever had if there had been a manga and it is almost certain that there were so fast does superstition cling those who feared events connected with the number 13 I am certain they agreed with him and never again will they attach any importance to such a foolish belief perhaps the belief itself will receive a shock when it is remembered that boat 13 of the titanic brought away a full load from the sinking vessel carried them in such comfort all night that they had not even a drop of water on them and landed them safely at the carpathia side where they climbed aboard without a single mishap it almost tempts one to be the 13th at table or to choose a house numbered 13 fearless of any croaking about flying in the face of what is humorously called provenance looking towards the carpathia in the faint light we saw what seems to be two large fully rigged sailing ships near the horizon with all sails set standing up near her but we decided that they must be fishing vessels off the banks of newfoundland which had seen the carpathia stop and were waiting to see if she wanted help of any kind but in a few minutes more the light shone on them and they stood revealed as huge icebergs peeked in a way that readily suggested a ship when the sun rose higher it turned them pink and sinister as they looked towering like rugged white peaks of rock out of the sea and terrible as was the disaster one of them had caused there was an awful beauty about them which could not be overlooked later when the sun came above the horizon they sparkled and glittered in its rays deadly white like frozen snow rather than translucent ice as the dawn crept towards us there lay another almost directly in the line between our boat and the carpathia and a few minutes later another on her port quarter and more again on the southern and western horizons as far as the eye could reach all differing in shape and size and tones of color according as the sun shone through them or was reflected directly or obliquely from them we drew near our rescuer and presently could discern the bands on her funnel by which the crew could tell she was a quenarter and already some boats were at her side and passengers climbing up her ladders we had to give the iceberg a wide berth and make a detour to the south we knew it was sunk a long way below the surface with such things as projecting ledges not that it was very likely there was one so near the surface as to endanger our small boat but we were not inclined to take any risks for the sake of a few more minutes when safety lay so near once clear of the berg we could read the quenarter's name carpathia a name we are not likely ever to forget we shall see her sometimes perhaps in the shipping lists as i have done already once when she left genoa on her return voyage and the way her lights climbed up over the horizon in the darkness the way she swung and showed her lighted portholes in the moment when we read her name on her side we'll all come back in a flash we shall live again the scene of rescue and feel the same thrill of gratitude for all she brought us that night we rode up to her about 430 and sheltering on the port side from the swell held on by two ropes at the stern and bow women went up the side first climbing rope ladders with a noose around their shoulders to help their ascent men passengers scrambled next and the crew last of all the baby went up in a bag with the opening tied up it had been quite well all the time and never suffered any ill effects from its cold journey in the night we set foot on deck with very thankful hearts grateful beyond the possibility of adequate expression to feel a solid ship beneath us once more end of chapter five chapter six of the loss of the ss titanic by laurence beasley this liber box recording is in the public domain recorded by alice and hester chapter six the sinking of the titanic seen from her deck the two preceding chapters have been to a large extent the narrative of a single eyewitness and an account of the escape of one boat only from the titanic side it will be well now to return to the titanic and reconstruct a more general and complete account from the experiences of many people in different parts of the ship a considerable part of these experiences was related to the rider first hand by survivors both on board the carpetia and at other times but some are derived from other sources which are probably as accurate as first hand information other reports which seemed at first sight to have been founded on the testimony of eyewitnesses have been found on examination to have passed through several hands and have therefore been rejected the testimony even of eyewitnesses has in some cases been excluded when it seemed not to agree with direct evidence of a number of other witnesses or with what reasoned judgment considered probable in the circumstances in this category are the reports of explosions before the titanic sank the breaking of the ship in two parts the suicide of officers it would be well to notice here that the titanic was in her correct course the southerly one and in the position which prudence dictates as a safe one under the ordinary conditions at that time of the year to be strictly accurate she was 16 miles south of the regular summer route which all companies follow from january to august perhaps the real history of the disaster should commence with the afternoon of sunday when marcona grams were received by the titanic from the ships ahead of her warning her of the existence of icebergs in connection with this must be taken the marked fall of temperature observed by everyone in the afternoon and evening of this day as well as the very low temperature of the water these have generally been taken to indicate that without any possibility of doubt we were near an iceberg region and the severest condemnation has been poured on the heads of the officers and captain for not having regard to these climatic conditions but here caution is necessary there can be little doubt now that the low temperature observed can be traced to the icebergs and ice field subsequently encountered but experienced sailors are aware that it might have been observed without any icebergs being near the cold labrador current sweeps down by newfoundland across the track of atlantic liners but does not necessarily carry icebergs with it cold winds blow from greenland to labrador and not always from icebergs and ice fields so that falls in temperature of sea and air are not prima facie evidence of the close proximity of icebergs on the other hand a single iceberg separated by many miles from its fellows might sink a ship but certainly would not cause a drop in temperature either of the air or water then as the labrador current meets the warm gulf stream flowing from the gulf of mexico across to europe they do not necessarily intermingle nor do they always run side by side or one on top of the other but often interlaced like the fingers of two hands as a ship sails across this region the thermometer will record within a few miles temperatures of 34 degrees 58 degrees 35 degrees 59 degrees and so on it is little wonder then that sailors become accustomed to place little reliance on temperature conditions as a means of estimating the probabilities of encountering ice in their track an experienced sailor has told me that nothing is more difficult to diagnose than the presence of icebergs and a strong confirmation of this is found in the official sailing directions issued by the hydrographic department of the british admiralty no reliance can be placed on any warning being conveyed to the mariner by a fall in temperature either of sea or air of approaching ice some decrease in temperature has occasionally been recorded but more often none has been observed but notification by marconogram of the exact location of icebergs is a vastly different matter i remember with deep feeling the effect this information had on us when it first became generally known on board the carpathia rumors of it went round on wednesday morning grew to definite statements in the afternoon and were confirmed when one of the titanic officers admitted the truth of it and reply to a direct question i shall never forget the overwhelming sense of hopelessness that came over some of us as we obtained definite knowledge of the warning messages it was not then the unavoidable accident that we had hitherto supposed the sudden plunging into a region crowded with icebergs which no seaman however skilled a navigator he might be could have avoided the beautiful titanic wounded too deeply to recover the cries of the drowning still ringing in our ears and the thousands of homes that mourned all these calamities none of these things need ever have been it is no exaggeration to say that men who went through all the experiences of the collision and the rescue and the subsequent scenes on the key at new york with hardly a trimmer were quite overcome by this knowledge and turned away unable to speak i for one did so and i know others who told me they were similarly affected i think we all came to modify our opinions on this matter however when we learned more of the general conditions attending transatlantic steamship services the discussion as to who was responsible for these warnings being disregarded had perhaps better be postponed to a later chapter one of these warnings was handed to mr ismae by captain smith at five o'clock p.m. and returned at the latter's request at seven p.m. that it might be posted for the information of officers as a result of the messages they were instructed to keep a special lookout for ice this second officer light solar did until he was relieved at ten p.m. by first officer murdoch to whom he handed on the instructions during mr light watch about nine p.m. the captain had joined him on the bridge and discussed the time we should be getting up towards the vicinity of ice and how we should recognize it if we should see it and refreshing our minds on the indications that ice gives when it is in the vicinity apparently too the officers had discussed among themselves the proximity of ice and mr light solar had remarked that they would be approaching the position where ice had been reported during his watch the lookouts were cautioned similarly but no ice was cited until a few minutes before the collision when the lookout man saw the iceberg and rang the bell three times the usual signal from the crow's nest when anything is seen dead ahead by telephone he reported to the bridge the presence of an iceberg but mr murdoch had already ordered quartermaster hitchhens at the will to starboard the helm and the vessel began to swing away from the berg but it was far too late at the speed she was going to hope to steer the huge titanic over a sixth of a mile long out of reach of danger even if the iceberg had been visible half a mile away it is doubtful whether some portion of her tremendous length would not have been touched and it is in the highest degree unlikely that the lookout could have seen the berg half a mile away in the conditions that existed that night even with glasses the very smoothness of the water made the presence of ice a more difficult matter to detect in ordinary conditions the dash of the waves against the foot of an iceberg surrounds it with a circle of white foam visible for some distance long before the iceberg itself but here was an oily sea sweeping smoothly around the deadly monster and causing no indication of its presence there is little doubt moreover that the crow's nest is not a good place from which to detect icebergs it is proverbial that they adopt to a large extent the color of their surroundings and seen from above at a high angle with the black bone-free sea behind the iceberg must have been almost invisible until the titanic was close upon it i was much struck by a remark of sir earnest shackleton on his method of detecting icebergs to place a lookout man as low down near the waterline as he could get him remembering how we had watched the titanic with all her lights out standing upright like an enormous black finger as one observer stated and had only seen her thus because she loomed black against the sky behind her i saw at once how much better the sky was than the black sea to show up in icebergs bulk and so in a few moments the titanic had run obliquely on the berg and with a shock that was astonishingly slight so slight that many passengers never noticed it the submerged portion of the berg had cut her open on the starboard side in the most vulnerable portion of her anatomy the bilge the most authentic accounts say that the wound began at about the location of the foremast and extended far back to the stern the brunt of the blow being taken by the forward plates which were either punctured through both bottoms directly by the blow or through one skin only and as this was torn away it ripped out some of the inner plates the fact that she went down by the head shows that probably only the forward plates were doubly punctured the stern ones being cut open through the outer skin only after the collision murdoch had at once reversed the engines and brought the ship to a standstill but the iceberg had floated away a stern the shock though little felt by the enormous mass of the ship was sufficient to dislodge a large quantity of ice from the berg the folksal deck was found to be covered with pieces of ice feeling the shock captain smith rushed out of his cabin to the bridge and in reply to his anxious inquiry was told by murdoch that ice had been struck and the emergency doors instantly closed the officers roused by the collision went on deck some to the bridge others while hearing nothing of the extent of the damage saw no necessity for doing so captain smith at once sent the carpenter below to sound the ship and fourth officer box hall to the steerage to report damage the latter found there a very dangerous condition of things and reported to captain smith who then sent him to the mail room and here again it was easy to see matters looked very serious mail bags were floating about and the water rising rapidly all this was reported to the captain who ordered the life boats to be got ready at once mr box hall went to the chart room to work out the ship's position which he then handed to the marconi operators for transmission to any ship near enough to help in the work of rescue reports of the damage done were by this time coming to the captain from many quarters from the chief engineer from the designer mr andrews and in a dramatic way from the sudden appearance on deck of a swarm of stokers who had rushed up from below as the water poured into the boiler rooms and the coal bunkers they were immediately ordered down below to duty again realizing the urgent need of help he went personally to the marconi room and gave orders to the operators to get in touch with all the ships they could and to tell them to come quickly the assistant operator bride had been asleep and knew of the damage only when phillips in charge of the marconi room told him ice had been encountered they started to send out the well-known c q d message which interpreted means c q all stations attend and d distress the position of the vessel in latitude and longitude following later they sent out s os an arbitrary message agreed upon as an international code signal soon after the vessel struck mr ismay had learned of the nature of the accident from the captain and chief engineer and after dressing and going on deck had spoken to some of the officers not yet thoroughly acquainted with the grave injury done to the vessel by this time all those in any way connected with the management and navigation must have known the importance of making use of all the ways of safety known to them and that without any delay that they thought at first that the titanic would sink as soon as she did is doubtful but probably as the reports came in they knew that her ultimate loss in a few hours was a likely contingency on the other hand there is evidence that some of the officers in charge of boats quite expected the embarkation was a precautionary measure and they would all return after daylight certainly the first information that ice had been struck conveyed to those in charge no sense of the gravity of the circumstances one officer even retired to his cabin and another advised a steward to go back to his birth as there was no danger and so the order was sent round all passengers on deck with life belts on and in obedience to this a crowd of hastily dressed or partially dressed people began to assemble on the decks belonging to their respective classes except the steerage passengers who were allowed access to other decks tying on life belts over their clothing in some part of the ship women were separated from the men and assembled together near the boats in others men and women mingled freely together husbands helping their own wives and families and then other women and children into the boats the officers spread themselves about the decks superintending the work of lowering and loading the boats and in three cases were ordered by their superior officers to take charge of them at this stage great difficulty was experienced in getting women to leave the ship especially where the order was so rigorously enforced women and children only women in many cases refused to leave their husbands and were actually forcibly lifted up and dropped in the boats they argued with the officers demanding reasons and in some cases even when induced to get in were disposed to think the whole thing a joke or a precaution which it seemed to them rather foolish to take in this they were encouraged by the men left behind who in the same condition of ignorance said goodbye to their friends as they went down adding that they would see them again at breakfast time to illustrate further how little danger was apprehended when it was discovered on the first class deck that the forward lower deck was covered with small ice snowballing matches were arranged for the following morning and some passengers even went down to the deck and brought back small pieces of ice which were handed round below decks too was additional evidence that no one thought of immediate danger two ladies walking along one of the corridors came across a group of people gathered round a door which they were trying vainly to open and on the other side of which a man was demanding in loud terms to be let out either his door was locked and the key not to be found or the collision had jammed the lock and prevented the key from turning the ladies thought he must be afflicted in some way to make such a noise but one of the men was assuring him that in no circumstances should he be left and that his the bystanders son would be along soon and would smash down his door if it was not opened in the meantime he has a stronger arm than I have he added the son arrived presently and proceeded to make short work of the door it was smashed in and the inmate released to his great satisfaction and with many expressions of gratitude to his rescuer but one of the head stewards who came up at this juncture was so insent that the damage done to the property of his company and so little aware of the infinitely greater damage done the ship that he warned the man who had released the prisoner that he would be arrested on arrival in New York it must be born in mind that no general warning had been issued to passengers here and there were experienced travelers to whom collision with an iceberg was sufficient to cause them to make every preparation for leaving the ship but the great majority were never enlightened as to the amount of damage done or even as to what had happened we knew in a vague way that we had collided with an iceberg but there our knowledge ended and most of us drew no deductions from that fact alone another factor that prevented some from taking to the boats was the drop to the water below and the journey into the unknown sea certainly it looked like a tremendous way down in the darkness and the sea and the night both seemed very cold and lonely and here was the ship so firm and well-lighted and warm but perhaps what made so many people declare their decision to remain was their strong belief in the theory of the titanic's unsinkable construction again and again it was repeated this ship cannot sink it is only a question of waiting until another ship comes up and takes us off husbands expected to follow their wives and join them either in new york or by transfer in mid ocean from steamer to steamer many passengers relate that they were told by officers that the ship was a lifeboat and could not go down one lady affirms that the captain told her the titanic could not sink for two or three days no doubt this was immediately after the collision it is not any wonder then that many elected to remain deliberately choosing the deck of the titanic to a place in a lifeboat and yet the boats had to go down and so at first they went half full this is the real explanation of why they were not as fully loaded as the later ones it is important then to consider the question how far the captain was justified in withholding all the knowledge he had from every passenger from one point of view he should have said to them this ship will sink in a few hours there are the boats and only women and children can go to them but had he the authority to enforce such an order there are such things as panics and rushes which get beyond the control of a handful of officers even if armed and where even the bravest of men get swept off their feet mentally as well as physically on the other hand if he decided to withhold all definite knowledge of danger from all passengers and at the same time persuade and if it was not sufficient compel women and children to take to the boats it might result in their all being saved he could not foresee the tenacity of their faith in the boat there is ample evidence that he left the bridge when the ship had come to rest and went among the passengers urging them to get into the boat and rigorously excluding all but women and children some would not go officer low testified that he shouted who's next for the boat and could get no replies the boats even were sent away half loaded although the fear of their buckling in the middle was responsible as well for this but the captain with the few boats at his disposal could hardly do more than persuade and advise in the terrible circumstances in which he was placed how appalling to think that with a few more boats and the ship was provided with that particular kind of davit that would launch more boats there would have been no decision of that kind to make it could have been stated plainly this ship will sink in a few hours there is room in the boats for all passengers beginning with women and children poor captain smith i care not whether the responsibility for such speed in an iceberg region will rest on his shoulders or not no man ever had to make such a choice as he had that night and it seems difficult to see how he can be blamed for withholding from passengers such information as he had of the danger that was imminent when one reads in the press that lifeboats arrived at the carpetia half full it seems at first sight a dreadful thing that this should have been allowed to happen but it is so easy to make these criticisms afterwards so easy to say that captain smith should have told everyone of the condition of the vessel he was faced with many conditions that night which such criticism overlooks let any fear-minded person consider some few of the problems presented to him the ship was bound to sink in a few hours there was lifeboat accommodation for all women and children and some men there was no way of getting some women to go except by telling them the ship was doomed a course he deemed it best not to take and he knew the danger of boats buckling when loaded full his solution of these problems was apparently the following to send the boats down half full with such women as would go and to tell the boat to stand by to pick up more passengers passed down from the cargo ports there is good evidence that this was part of the plan i heard an officer give the order to four boats and a lady in number four boat on the port side tells me the sailors were so long looking for the port where the captain personally had told them to wait that they were in danger of being sucked under by the vessel how far any systematic attempt was made to stand by the ports i do not know i never saw one open or any boat standing near on the starboard side but then boats nine to fifteen went down full and on reaching the sea rode away at once there is good evidence then that captain smith fully intended to load the boats full in this way the failure to carry out the intention is one of the things the whole world regrets but consider again the great size of the ship and the short time to make decisions and the omission is more easily understood the fact is that such a contingency as lowering away boats was not even considered beforehand and there is much calls for gratitude that as many as 705 people were rescued the whole question of a captain's duties seems to require revision it was totally impossible for any one man to attempt to control the ship that night and the weather conditions could not well have been more favorable for doing so one of the reforms that seems inevitable is that one man shall be responsible for the boats they're manning loading and lowering leaving the captain free to be on the bridge to the last moment but to return for a time to the means taken to attract the notice of other ships the wireless operators were now in touch with several ships and calling to them to come quickly for the water was pouring in and the titanic beginning to go down by the head bride testified that the first reply received was from a german boat the frankfort which was all right stand by but not giving her position from comparison of the strength of signals received from the frankfort and from other boats the operators estimated the frankfort was the nearest but subsequent events proved that this was not so she was in fact 140 miles away and arrived at 10 50 a.m. next morning when the carpetia had left with the rescued the next reply was from the carpetia 58 miles away on the outbound route to the Mediterranean and it was a prompt and welcome one coming hard followed by the position then followed the olympic and with her they talked for some time but she was 560 miles away on the southern route too far to be of any immediate help at the speed of 23 knots she would expect to be about 1 p.m. next day and this was about the time that those in boat 13 had calculated we had always assumed in the boat that the stokers who gave this information had it from one of the officers before they left but in the absence of any knowledge of the much nearer ship the carpetia it is more probable that they knew in a general way where the sister ship the olympic should be and had made a rough calculation other ships in touch by wireless were the mount temple 50 miles the berma 100 miles the peresian 150 miles the virginian 150 miles and the baltic 300 miles but closer than any of these closer even than the carpetia were two ships the californian less than 20 miles away with the wireless operator off duty and unable to catch the cqd signal which was now making the air for many miles around quiver in its appeal for help immediate urgent help for the hundreds of people who stood on the titanic's deck the second vessel was a small steamer some few miles ahead on the port side without any wireless apparatus her name and destination still unknown and yet the evidence for her presence that night seems too strong to be disregarded mr box hall states that he and captain smith saw her quite plainly some five miles away and could distinguish the masthead lights and a red port light they at once hailed her with rockets and morse electric signals to which box hall saw no reply but captain smith and stewards affirmed they did the second and third officers saw the signal sent and her lights the ladder from the lifeboat of which he was in charge semen hopkins testified that he was told by the captain to row for the light and we and vote 13 certainly saw it in the same position and rode towards it for some time but not withstanding all the efforts made to attract its attention it drew slowly away and the lights sank below the horizon the pity of it so near and so many people waiting for the shelter its decks could have given so easily it seems impossible to think that this ship ever replied to the signals those who said so must have been mistaken the united states senate committee in its report does not hesitate to say that this unknown steamer and the californian are identical and that the failure on the part of the ladder to come to help of the titanic is culpable negligence there is undoubted evidence that some of the crew on the californian saw our rockets but it seems impossible to believe that the captain and officers knew of our distress and deliberately ignored it judgment on the matter had better be suspended until further information is forthcoming an engineer who has served in the transatlantic service tells me that it is a common practice for small boats to leave the fishing smacks to which they belong and row away for miles sometimes even being lost and wandering about among icebergs and even not being found again in these circumstances rockets are part of a fishing smacks equipment and are set up to indicate to the small boats how to return is it conceivable that the californian thought our rockets were such signals and therefore paid no attention to them incidentally this engineer did not hesitate to add that it is doubtful if a big liner would stop to help a small fishing boat sending off the stress signals or even would turn about to help one which she herself had cut down as it lay in her path without a light he was strong in his affirmation that such things were commonly known to all officers in the transatlantic service with regard to the other vessels in wireless communication the mount temple was the only one near enough from the point of distance to have arrived in time to be of help but between her and the titanic lay the enormous ice blow and icebergs were near her in addition the seven ships which caught the message started at once to help but were all stopped on the way except the Burma by the carpathias wireless announcing the fate of the titanic and the people aboard her the message must have affected the captains of these ships very deeply they would understand far better than the traveling public would admit to lose such a beautiful ship on her first voyage the only thing now left to be done was to get the life boats away as quickly as possible and to this task the other officers were in the meantime devoting all their endeavors mr. Lightholer sent away boat after boat in one he had put 24 women and children in another 30 in another 35 and then running short of semen to man the boats he sent major an expert yachtsman in the next to help with its navigation by the time these had been filled he had difficulty in finding women for the fifth and sixth boats for the reasons already stated all this time the passengers remained to use his own expression as quiet as if in church to man and supervise the loading of six boats must have taken him nearly up to the time of the titanic sinking taking an average of some 20 minutes to a boat still at work to the end he remained on the ship till she sank and went down with her his evidence before the united states committee was as follows did you leave the ship no sir did the ship leave you yes sir it was a piece of work well and cleanly done and his escape from the ship one of the most wonderful of all seems almost a reward for his devotion to duty captain smith officers wild and murdoch were similarly engaged in other parts of the ship urging women to get in the boats in some cases directing junior officers to go down in some of them officers pitman box hall and low were sent in this way and others placing members of the crew in charge as the boats were lowered orders were shouted to them where to make for some were told to stand by and wait for further instructions others to row for the light of the disappearing steamer it is a pitiful thing to recall the effects of sending down the first boats half full in some cases men and the company of their wives had actually taken seats in the boats young men married only a few weeks and on their wedding trip and had done so only because no more women could then be found but the strict interpretation by the particular officer in charge there of the rule of women and children only compelled them to get out again some of these boats were lowered and reached the carpetia with many vacant seats the anguish of the young wives in such circumstances can only be imagined in other parts of the ship however a different interpretation was placed on the rule and men were allowed and even invited by officers to get in not only to form part of the crew but even as passengers this of course in the first boats and when no more women could be found the varied understanding of this rule was a frequent subject of discussion on the carpetia in fact the rule itself was debated with much heart searching there were not wanting many who doubted the justice of its rigid enforcement who could not think it well that a husband should be separated from his wife and family leaving them penniless or a young bridegroom from his wife of a few short weeks while ladies with few relatives with no one dependent upon them and few responsibilities of any kind were saved it was mostly these ladies who pressed this view and even men seemed to think there was a good deal to be said for it perhaps there is theoretically but it would be impossible i think in practice to quote mr leite holder again in his evidence before the united states senate committee when asked if it was a rule of the sea that women and children be saved first he replied no it is a rule of human nature that is no doubt the real reason for its existence but the selective process of circumstances brought about results that were very bitter to some it was heart-rending for ladies who had lost all they held dearest in the world to hear that in one boat was a stoker picked up out of the sea so drunk that he stood up and brandished his arms about and had to be thrown down by ladies and sat upon to keep him quiet if comparisons can be drawn it did seem better that an educated refined man should be saved than one who had flown to drink as his refuge in time of danger these discussions turned sometimes to the old inquiry what is the purpose of all this why the disaster why this man saved and that man lost who has arranged that my husband should live a few short happy years in the world and the happiest days in those years with me these last few weeks and then be taken from me i heard no one attribute all this to a divine power who ordains and arranges the lives of men and as part of a definite scheme sends such calamity and misery in order to purify to teach to spiritualize i do not say there were not people who thought and said they saw divine wisdom in it all so inscrutable that we in our ignorance saw it not but i did not hear it expressed and this book is intended to be no more than a partial chronicle of the many different experiences and convictions there were those on the other hand who did not fail to say emphatically that indifferent to the rights and feelings of others blindness to duty towards our fellow men and women was in the last analysis the cause of most of the human misery in the world and it should undoubtedly appeal more to our sense of justice to attribute these things to our own lack of consideration for others than to shift the responsibility onto a power whom we first postulate as being all wise and all loving all the boats were lowered and sent away by 2 a.m. and by this time the ship was very low in the water the folks all deck completely submerged and the sea creeping steadily up to the bridge and probably only a few yards away no one on the ship can have had any doubt now as to her ultimate fate and yet the 1500 passengers and crew on board made no demonstration and not a sound came from them as they stood quietly on the decks or went about their duties below it seems incredible and yet if it was a continuation of the same feeling that existed on deck before the boats left and i have no doubt that it was the explanation is straightforward and reasonable in its simplicity an attempt is made in the last chapter to show why the attitude of the crowd was so quietly courageous there are accounts which picture excited crowds running about the deck in terror fighting and struggling but two of the most accurate observers colonel gracey and mr. lightholer affirmed that this was not so that absolute order and quietness prevailed the band still played to cheer the hearts of all near the engineers and their crew i have never heard anyone speak of a single engineer being seen on deck still worked at the electric light engines far away below keeping them going until no human being could do so a second longer right until the ship tilted on end and the engines broke loose and fell down the light failed then only because the engines were no longer there to produce light not because the men who worked them were not standing by them to do their duty to be down in the bowels of the ship far away from the deck were at any rate there was a chance of a dive and a swim and a possible rescue to know that when the ship went as they knew it must soon there could be no possible hope of climbing up in time to reach the sea to know all these things and yet keep the engines going that the decks might be lighted to the last moment required sublime courage but this courage is required of every engineer and it is not called by that name it is called duty to stand by his engines to the last possible moment is his duty there could be no better example of the supremist courage being but duty well done than to remember the engineers of the titanic still at work as she healed over and flung them with their engines down the length of the ship the simple statement that the lights kept on to the last is really their epitaph but Lowell's words would seem to apply to them with peculiar force quote the longer on this earth we live and weigh the various qualities of men the more we feel the high stern featured beauty of plain devotedness to duty steadfast and still nor paid with mortal praise but finding amplest recompense for life's ungarlanded expense and work done squarely and unwaisted days end quote for sometime before she sank the titanic had a considerable list to port so much so that one boat at any rate swung so far away from the side that difficulty was experienced in getting passengers in this list was increased towards the end and colonel Gracie relates that mr. lightoller who has a deep powerful voice ordered all passengers to the starboard side this was close before the end they crossed over and as they did so a crowd of steerage passengers rushed up and filled the decks so full that there was barely room to move soon afterwards the great vessel swung slowly stern in the air the lights went out and while some were flung into the water and others dived off the great majority still clung to the rails to the sides and roofs of the deck structures lying prone on the deck and in this position they were when a few minutes later the enormous vessel dived obliquely downwards as she went no doubt many still clung to the rails but most would do their best to get away from her and jump as she slid forwards and downwards whatever they did there can be little question that most of them would be taken down by suction to come up again a few moments later and to feel the air with those heart-rending cries which fell on the ears of those in the lifeboats with such amazement another survivor on the other hand relates that he had dived from the stern before she healed over and swam round under her enormous triple screws lifted by now high out of the water as she stood on end fascinated by the extraordinary sight he watched them up above his head but presently realizing the necessity of getting away as quickly as possible he started to swim from the ship but as he did she dived forward the screws passing near his head his experience is that not only was no suction present but even a wave was created which washed him away from the place where she had gone down of all those 1500 people flung into the sea as the titanic went down innocent victims of thoughtlessness and apathy of those responsible for their safety only a very few found their way to the carpathia it will serve no good purpose to dwell any longer on the scene of helpless men and women struggling in the water the heart of everyone who has read of their helplessness has gone out to them in deepest love and sympathy and the knowledge that their struggle in the water was in most cases short and not physically painful because of the low temperature the evidence seems to show that few lost their lives by drowning is some consolation if everyone sees to it that his sympathy with them is so practical as to force him to follow up the question of reforms personally not leaving it to the experts alone then he will have at any rate done something to atone for the loss of so many valuable lives we had now better follow the adventures of those who were rescued from the final event in the disaster two accounts those of Colonel Gracie and Mr. Lytolar agree very closely the former went down clinging to a rail the latter dived before the ship went right under but was sucked down and held against one of the blowers they were both carried down for what seemed like a long distance but Mr. Lytolar was finally blown up again by a terrific gust that came up the blower and forced him clear Colonel Gracie came to the surface after holding his breath for what seemed like an eternity and they both swam about holding on to any wreckage they could find finally they saw an upturned collapsible boat and climbed on it in company with 20 other men among them bride the Marconi operator after remaining thus for some hours with the sea washing over them to the waist they stood up as day broke in two rows back to back balancing themselves as well as they could and afraid to turn lest the boat should roll over finally a lifeboat saw them and took them off an operation attended with the greatest difficulty and they reached the Carpathia in the early dawn not many people have gone through such an experience as those men did lying all night on an overturned ill balanced boat and praying together as they did all the time for the day and a ship to take them off some account must now be attempted of the journey of the fleet of boats to the Carpathia but it must necessarily be very brief experiences differed considerably some had no encounters at all with icebergs no lack of men to row discovered lights and food and water were picked up after only a few hours exposure and suffered very little discomfort others seemed to see icebergs round them all night long and to be always rowing round them others had so few men aboard in some cases only two or three that ladies had to row and in one case to steer found no lights food or water and were adrift many hours in some cases nearly eight the first boat to be picked up by the Carpathia was one in charge of mr. Box Hall there was only one other man rowing and ladies working at the oars a green light burning in this boat all night was the greatest comfort to the rest of us who had nothing to steer by although it meant little in the way of safety itself it was a point to which we could look the green light was the first intimation captain rostrin had of our position and he steered for it and picked up its passengers first mr. Pittman was sent by first officer murdoch in charge of boat five with 40 passengers and five of the crew it would have held more but no women could be found at the time it was lowered mr. Pittman says that after leaving the ship he felt confident she would float and they would all return a passenger in this boat relates that men could not be induced to embark when she went down and made appointments for the next morning with them tied to boat five was boat seven one of those that contained few people a few were transferred from number five but it would have held many more fifth officer low was in charge of boat 14 with 55 women and children and some of the crew so fool was the boat that as she went down mr. low had to fire his revolver along the ship's side to prevent any more climbing in and causing her to buckle this boat like boat 13 was difficult to release from the lowering tackle and had to be cut away after reaching the sea mr. low took in charge four other boats tied them together with lines found some of them not full and transferred all his passengers to these distributing them in the darkness as well as he could then returning to the place where the titanic had sunk he picked up some of those swimming in the water and went back to the four boats on the way to the carpetia he encountered one of the collapsible boats and took aboard all those in her as she seemed to be sinking boat 12 was one of the four tied together and the semen in charge testified that he tried to row to the drowning but with 40 women and children and only one other man to row it was not possible to pull such a heavy boat to the scene of the wreck boat to was a small ships boat and had four or five passengers and seven of the crew boat for was one of the last to leave on the port side and by this time there was such a list that deck chairs had to bridge the gap between the boat and the deck when lowered it remained for some time still attached to the ropes and as the titanic was rapidly sinking it seemed she would be pulled under the boat was full of women who besought the sailors to leave the ship but in obedience to orders from the captain to stand by the cargo port they remained near so near in fact that they heard china falling and smashing as the ship went down by the head and were nearly hit by wreckage thrown overboard by some of the officers and crew and intended to serve as rafts they got clear finally and were only a short distance away when the ship sank so that they were able to pull some men aboard as they came to the surface this boat had an unpleasant experience in the night with icebergs many were seen and avoided with difficulty quartermaster higgins was in charge of boat six and in the absence of sailors major puchen was sent to help man her they were told to make for the light of the steamer seen on the port side and followed it until it disappeared there were 40 women and children here boat eight had only one seaman and as captain smith had enforced the rule of women and children only ladies had to row later in the night when little progress had been made the seaman took an oar and put a lady in charge of the tiller this boat again was in the midst of icebergs of the four collapsible boats although collapsible is not really the correct term for only a small portion collapses the canvas edge surf boats is really their name one was launched at the last moment by being pushed over as the sea rose to the edge of the deck and was never righted this is the one 20 men climbed on another was caught up by mr low and the passengers transferred with the exception of three men who had perished from the effects of immersion the boat was allowed to drift away and was found more than a month later by the Celtic in just the same condition it is interesting to note how long this boat had remained afloat after she was supposed to be no longer seaworthy a curious coincidence arose from the fact that one of my brothers happened to be traveling on the Celtic and looking over the side saw a drift on the sea a boat belonging to the titanic in which i had been wrecked the two other collapsible boats came to the carpathia carrying full loads of passengers in one the forward starboard boat and one of the last to leave was mr ismay here four china men were concealed under the feet of the passengers how they got there no one knew or indeed how they happened to be on the titanic for by immigration laws of the united states they are not allowed to enter her ports it must be said in conclusion that there is the greatest cause for gratitude that all the boats launched carried their passengers safely to the rescue ship it would not be right to accept this fact without calling attention to it it would be easy to enumerate many things which might have been present as elements of danger end of chapter six