 Good morning and welcome back to why in the morning, no good things happen when you watch why in the morning and earlier on we started by giggling, we giggled, we laugh, I think giggled when they graduate they become laughs because we laughed more than we giggled, so faith I think we will change that thing to morning laughs because we laugh more, that was nice and again after that faith came, faith mutete she told me to remind you viewer that she's called underscore mutete she didn't say that so I'm saying that for my variable partner faith mutete she was with a very beautiful lady here called Grace Kinutia who taught us about psychology, a lot about what goes on in our minds and how we should maintain like the mental health, so that was great I think the way Kenya is currently should have such lessons like daily because people are stressed they are not going on in minds, that's why we have so many suicides, so many killings that happen between those who like two lovers so I think we need more of such lessons so thank you very much faith mutete and you are very valuable guests called Grace Kinutia so today we are here to talk about choices, what do we choose for a life partner what do people look at when they choose life partners my name is Soguda Bradley Sankaraka Esu and with me here and I must say that I'm here on behalf of VAL who faith say it is in Kishi taking videos of Ember Ambara and with me here to help me dissect this topic are two great people the future leaders or the current leaders of course the future current and future ok so we will start with the lady I know your one name so we will tell us your name your social media handles and everything you want us to know about you Karibu ok my name is Wendy Ingle George I am a facilitator, an administrator and a mentor my social media handle I mostly use Facebook that will be at Wendy Ingle G and basically I'm not so much on Twitter or Instagram but I do better on Facebook so you can check me out on Facebook you choose Facebook Ingle did I pronounce it well Ingle I think that's the procedure will do better Ya will do people learn as they move like forward how you said it's not your first time here they have been here several years but the pandemic made us know to attend social gatherings but we thank God we are here today is this a social gathering no this is not a social gathering but it is you tell me what is it this is the best way to talk to people during this pandemic so next time don't take a break a long break in the excuse of pandemic this is the best way now how like now we are talking to so many people and they are not crowded anyway everybody is in their own place tell us your name my name is my official names are Kevin Peter Oruinda you can call me Voke Bazenga I am a YouTuber I am a digital content creator I am a comedian and of course I am a child of God how do you carry all those in one brain how do you become a child of God who make people laugh and who is you tubing and who is what you said so many things tell us a digital content creator tell us how you carry all those in one in covid phase 1 a lot of people were in the house people used to stay in the living room and I did a lot of videos a lot of people discovered their talents other people discovered how to bake cakes other people discovered how to maybe dance maybe sing I discovered I could do a lot of things and so I could script write and I did a lot of short videos there on my YouTube channel it's true I saw them and the fact that there's a video we watched here in faith in the morning of some preachers saying that wuzi kula kichwe yambuzi na kule mitura na wukuni wepombe alafu adibike figo alafu kujimu semi hati tukwombe figo ipepone alafu atasasa habatu semi tukupi figo wuzi kupi akidni yangu na walu hi tukupi I saw you displaying a lot of health a lot of health natural health teaching people on the natural health apart from that I am an adventist I am a staunch adventist and I am a medical missionary student and I have knowledge or other knowledge on medical hubs that's nice so today we are here to talk about choices I want you first to help me to do this work because from now I am going to display some research on what people prefer so there are four choices here they were the topic of today it was about brains, heart, looks and wallet they are in that order that is alphabetical order that's alphabetical order it means I didn't choose I didn't put one number one because I think that is number one so it's brain W brains and looks and wallet was lost and then there was heart so according to you what do you think let us start with you Wendy what do you think is the preference the order of preference for ladies therefore so here you can choose from here therefore what do you think ladies prefer first when they are choosing life partners okay I am going to say my preferences in accordance to some of the survey that I have had most of the ladies will go for brains brain number one then number two brains then wallet then wallet number two looks looks number three then the heart so according to Wendy according to Wendy it is number one brains number one brains number two wallet wallet number three looks then number four the last one is the heart so according to you what is number four that is for ladies what about men what do you think it's you we are still on you Wendy what do you think is the preference for men for men heart or men will go first for heart men so according to you men will first sorry sorry sorry they looks first then then after the looks they will go for the brain the brain then we have two we have wallet and heart they will go for the heart than the wallet wallet cannot even be there for men according to you it's last so we are on you brother cave of okay the adventist so according to you according to me ladies yes for you what do you think is the order of preference for ladies for what ladies look yes what ladies what ladies choose first in a man you know a lot of Nairobi ladies will go for a man because he has man one man so that is wallet then two we have three remaining and the brain then the heart and then lastly then lastly looks then looks looks then for men for men it's 50-50 you know when you meet a lady I'll be like but the moment you continue being that lady you'll be like ah she always put on weaves and she's always having makeup on so this lady is not that beautiful so for looks is 50-50 but let me go for looks for number one looks then number two is brain brain and then heart and then lastly wallet so here it's like you're thinking alike so we had a research that maybe it's going to surprise you but we can appreciate that is saying something a little bit opposite of what some of you so it says that a study this lady who studied 68,000 people that was women on what they prefer and the result was surprising the result was a bit surprising in that most ladies chose heart most ladies 80% over 80% infact about 90% chose heart but ladies love those who are kind you know kindness is in heart but ladies love those who are kind but I think that's their preference you know a lot of ladies get heart problems this research was done in so many countries about 60 they did it in different countries that ladies prefer hearts first and you can imagine that wallet didn't feature anywhere in that what is your point on that you know among those 68,000 probably they are not ladies from Africa you know they go to a man because a man has many a man has many no one I think this is just a Kenyan thing that is it Kenyan girls that prefer money so much I want you to answer that because you are a lady I don't want you to get out of this head that you have accused you so much I want it to come from the horses mouth and infact according to your rating wallet came number 2 so I want you to tell us if you think it's only a Kenyan thing based on this research based on the research that you just said I will tell you that it's not just a Kenyan thing you know first straight from the bible the man should be the provider yeah and the man being the provider also in the African culture that you've been brought up into the man has been made the provider just as the bible states as well so the man being the provider means there should be some stability and the stability only comes when the wallet is proper so you are saying that even you prefer wallet I would say I prefer wallet because I've talked about stability stability is wallet yes especially economic stability yes economic stability while choosing wallet it doesn't mean that you have to have a million or a billion a lot of money for you to provide for your family you sound like a preacher who said whatever you have just bring it's not just about whatever you have what you have on the table today as a young man you make a decision that you want to get married while you want to get married are you ready to pay rent are you ready to provide if you are feeding once so Mark are you ready to now start feeding too and that does not mean that the woman is not coming with anything you are running to the sense because that is where I was coming to don't you think you also you also went to school may have a job you just told us here what you are doing to bring for you something at the end of the month why don't we use yours if I don't have mine can you just be providing for me for some time maybe as I still look my provision is I am your helper and you are the head so me I am your helper it doesn't necessarily mean that as you provide I will be chipping in where you need help when are you saying that you cannot if I am jobless but there are some other features in me like heart as they said if I am jobless but we are in love with each other and you are stable economically can't we just take out from there you take care of me as I still look for funds maybe to take care being jobless is one thing being jobless without a vision is another thing so you are jobless and you want to put your legs straight on my chair I am a coach and be there sitting the whole day being jobless and you are looking for ways to curb your joblessness the whole day doing nothing there is someone you can help and there is someone you cannot help so someone you can help is someone who is yes he is jobless but he is not just jobless and sitting there he is jobless and trying to we are talking about this many things and Kenyan ladies is it a myth or is it a truth you as a Kenyan man who has interacted with Kenyan ladies first of all I am very single very single second of all we are talking of choices of who I will marry and what I will be looking we are going to that point but can you tell us why you are single first why are you single at this age that is personal now you can go on and explain to us a lot of Kenyan ladies a larger percentage of Kenyan ladies would go for a man because of man they would not go for looks or the heart or brains very few will go for brains very few will go for brains because of maybe I have studied journalism and the lady has also studied something like law they would blend together but it is not a myth it is something which is true a lot of ladies especially in Nairobi one that is what they will go for money so are you folding this research I am saying that maybe this this research are folded somewhere that ladies are really looking for money that money should be number one according to you like when he said in the Bible you know gods made a man to be the head and the ladies were born that they will go through pain while giving birth while a man will suffer looking for money so a kuna vajem tu amu jengu atenda fani kazi amu jengu a nipo e 800 bopia kia ame sweat alafuna kuja kuku kula yo faya kia kukula faya kia it may be happening but they don't call it kukula faya actually kukula faya is so many things it does not necessarily mean that ni metumio a faya ni kakula kukula faya could be I can pay for my rent but you send my rent but I don't use it for rent I use it for other things so iopia ni kukula faya sendio it partly kukula faya kukula faya because this is not money and here's some money that you have acquired and you've not worked for him definitely I'm not even using it for whom it is I want us to compare before we leave Somebody said that the 30 lives were money then the monkey should be the most expensive creature So many people out here who are very rich, but I would also say it's relative to a person, but there are people out there who are very rich, but that's why you'll find a lame person or someone who is disabled differently and people would think that no one will go to them. But just the fact that they have that money, amamu tutu kitu limfanyi kia haja kwa vizuri kisura en kima umile, then because he has that money, everyone will want to be around them. We've seen memes of this short guy, I don't know he's from which country, and he has a girlfriend. There's not even a meme, there's a whole video of the person, the ugliest person in Tanzania. They went for ugly contest, so he won, he was number one. I don't want to call God's creature ugly, but he won that contest of the ugliest man in Tanzania. He's polygamas, two very beautiful ladies here, very beautiful. In that contest he won some money, some good amounts of money. So I don't know whether these girls are following money, but they were asked and said it is pure love. Okay, I also cannot talk about that. But the truth is, the reality is, if you have money, you will always have followers, because people have problems left, right and center. And they will always tend to follow where they can be, like they can have whatever problem they have. So if money, money can even change looks. Oh, that is a point. No, it's not a good point. Money can change looks. And by the way, it changes. We said something like that in the morning. People are struggling so much to look beautiful, but now this is man. Okay, let us just note it that way. Yeah, money can change looks. Tell us about these looks and money. Do you think if you are ugly, money can make you very beautiful? Yeah, absolutely. Okay. Ah, ulespon yo ananga sura, but ako nado, yo ndi onini, ulese mati ati pesai neza, awa main sura bata, as long as ako nado, atatembe anaya atakiawa na yusure na kahiv, atanana in public atakiawa na sura yuna kahiv, as long as the guy has nini, ala rumani. That is nice. There's somebody who said the beauty lies in the eyes of the beyond. Is it true? Is it true that Wendy can be very beautiful the way she is to me, but maybe not to another person or something? It is true, it is true. Somebody else can, those four points, somebody else can see Wendy really beautiful, another person can see the brains in Wendy, another person can see maybe the looks in Wendy. The same researcher, said that for men it is looks 90 percent and even for you that's why I was keeping your records. For you it was looks number one, Wendy said looks number one, Voke said looks number one and that researcher also said looks number one for men. Up to 90 percent, over 90 percent said looks first for men. And somebody was saying that somebody marries ugly lady and ugly is relative, the way you say looks relative. So we will justify it very easily saying oh meet my girlfriend here Alice, if they send me Alice out there I don't mean you I'm just using an example. Or meet my girlfriend Alice Nanimlaia, Simwonaivini laia Hiramanisha there's something and I want to see Mrembo so what we have respect by because she may be she has brains and do you think brain can make somebody beautiful? People can just admire you just because you don't have those looks so much but because you've spoken for around 5 minutes people say hey them I'm intelligent. Do you think that can attract men according to you you vote first? Yes it can because if I meet you for the first time and I have not heard from you then the moment you stand maybe in the podium and you present something I will be like I'm so impressed this lady is wise she has wisdom. Yeah brains too can make a guy be impressed by a lady. Do you think it's the same for ladies? Can you just fall for somebody because of intelligence because somebody has stepped on a podium somebody has come in a group and spoke wisdom wisdom and knowledge tell you fall in love. Can that make you fall in love? Okay if you are choosing brains and looks for a guy yeah intelligence it's intelligence cause I'm zero in to you can you fall for a guy because he was number one country in chemistry he was number one in chemistry or mathematics nationally if you narrow it down to that then it's a no but then what I mean when I say brains I don't only mean like schoolwork your perfect in your schoolwork I mean like someone who is emotionally intelligent like someone who he understands himself and apart from himself also understands those people around him and tend to their needs kind of so for me that is someone with brains someone who is intelligent apart from the classwork what else can you do because kuna wale machuopi he is very smart in class but is very foolish he is street wise he is street smart so this is someone whom even if you are a lady and say you are not as brain as he is this is someone who will always make you feel kini kiyakili kwa zara kwa mbiya uliya za tuku pata D kwa chemistry na miya pa nili pata A like this is someone who is even always feel low of yourself even his comments but someone who is both smart kwa kili na kwa smart like emotionally atailewa that maybe the reason you got that day was maybe because you were not as abled as I was when I was going to school or because the circumstances that you were in did not enable you to perform better I want to say no one is perfect there is no one who can have all those qualities or all those choices somebody can be very bright he was naban in chemistry but maybe in kukarikula he is very poor he doesn't know how to play football he doesn't know how to swim or something else but in class work he is very bright on Monday I was discussing with Val about this intelligence and organizing life there are so many people who are very bright in class but outside class just as you said they have very disorganized life and by the way when I was in campus we were studying with those who I studied when they were still putting number 1 nationally they are number 2 nationally we were studying with those people and some remained in the campus because their lives were ruined in the campus recently UN like registered so many students some of them were among those who were registered for over staying in the campus just kulewa kulewa there is another guy with whom you were in primary this guy was a number last I am saying this because he also says he doesn't have problem with it so if he is watching he won't have problem with it so this guy was always number last even if you are sick you sit home for a whole time and then you only come and do exams at least you are sure you won't be number last that is a reserve of somebody that guy now is the richest in our lot he is an engineer he went village polytechnic did some welding he now welds for some popular telecommunication company he is the one who takes contracts and welds those boosters in the whole of east and central Africa he is rich he employed some of us those some of us who are being number ones in those crews so that is about intelligence and maybe choices so we are just having these things like comparing them so we are going to read some of your comments in Facebook and we are going to see and you can remember that we say that this is where we are going to choose two winners two winners of those who are those who are going to help us celebrate white five four at four years so we are starting with somebody called Harun Okumu Etiang Harun Okumu Etiang anasema watu wangalia pesa kwanzaju watu wangalia pesa kwanzaju this is a man not a man saying that watu wangalia pesa so maybe he is a victim and then there is Jonathan Kenyosi saying kondani and then there is Kenyan Da he is saying now there is people who date money juamuezi kula mapezi outlook it's only men that have read and they are all talking of money so maybe they are talking about money because they are victims and then there is Loi saying respect and trust this is Moli I think this is why they are looking for heart first and then there is Deniz wamurkuit saying I am watching from Kapenguria Deniz Karibusana and then there is Jekin Smwangi saying character, skin color and behavior so that is what she does and that is a man so that according to him is looks then there is Biwa Macha says wangalia respect and trusting Macha is well represented and then there is Mofat who says he is locked always this victim says there is level of responsibility then there is Potensiyo Yakujibilt waziyangalia to looks then there is a lady here called Mama Kenansi saying following and watching from Vika Karibu Nansi there is somewhere Juma said loving and caring partner then there is Brian Ibrahim saying Nikiwa Naivasa Kabati and then there is Kenny Kenny Ken saying from a person who is caring understanding this for Kenneth is heart for Stephen Mwangi is a person who is understanding understanding is part of what I think or understanding maybe in the brains brains of my heart in this heart so Vivian says mtuhu check love love family background and responsibility I think this is heart this is lady says heart then there is Ringslopesing one wangalia character reaction so this is also heart you also talks of love but Anna Puekamania Pukidogo then there is okto ko say hi myself mtuhu akona faithfulness and respect that one is also heart so it's like hapa apapiana on a two majority pure alcohol heart then there is somebody called Austin Stanley who says don't go for looks looks deceived and he says when looking for a life partner he has given a very long lecture here go to our Facebook page and write and I think this guy is very like he has got to a point that we wanted I would recommend him for for the win then we will just look for another lady and then there is Kristo Kriss who says power out a look base out a look that somebody should look first and then there is Cindy Cynthia who said hello in the morning I myself I go for heart if I say wallet and his money can disappear at one time Cynthia I also recommend you for this because you are on the point of where we are discussing and the preference money can deceive people there is also this one we have read so we live on Facebook at that point that was nice I am giving you another research here just about these choices of divorce rate in Kenya I think divorce rate will show us choices the way people choose divorce rate in Kenya now now at 2021 is 17.7% the rate at which people divorce taiti na kwa nga ninga piwa ni more when this 10% so this is 17% it's like people get married and after people have got married they get married and after some time 17.7% of them get out of marriage again so let me give you actual numbers maybe some people don't get the percentage he says that in 2020 alone 2020 2000 people got divorced and imagine that is divorce divorce directly when you are on your certificate so they have to go through a process to take back that certificate that we are no longer married 2000 there was a court there was a court ruling that there was a rule first that was before last year that you can't get divorce when you've been married for 3 years so you have to be married for 3 years that's when you go for a divorce but that was revoked by the court so now you can get married today and tomorrow you go for a divorce it went that way so from 2018 this research from 2018 to now to June 2020 212,000 people 972 got divorced then 355 people and 18 got separated so in the total people have been married between 2018 to 2020 more than half a million because it is 567,999 in Kenya that is in Kenya alone don't you think this is tied to choices that people make wrong choices and then they end up seeing that we are made wrong choice people tend to make wrong choices you know before you get married to a person you should know that person for a period of time you should learn that person in 3 months it makes sense you should learn that person for a period of 6 months to 1 year you need to know who to know who to know you should know that person for a while so that marriage can stick and that marriage can last long Kevo according to this research 11% of ladies have initiated this this divorce and only 5% of men initiated it so it means it is more initiated by ladies more than men so a lot of ladies seek for divorce the higher number of percentage of those who seek for divorce are ladies connect this with the money that ladies choose money in Kenya ladies choose money in Sana Sana and then there are the more people who go for divorce most say something about that then we come back to end tell us why you think your fellow ladies are divorcing at this rate you know also during this pandemic I can say he was doing well in 2019 he gets a good job and buy Mark X Mpia and Shikaha Upua then all of a sudden in 2020 januari corona kakuja kakalus job kwa na wacha wuze demana muwacha unona kama li follow money if she follow money say something secondly you might find a lot of men I don't know if there is a research for that a lot of men tend to to walk out from the marriage and go and kuhanya inju onona so it is men's fault both men and women also ladies do wapia onona and it also leads to divorces when do you know you posted this in social media and we've read comments now so many girls prefer money and even from the looks like I posted this even on my wall people are wallet wallet wallet and then this divorce rate for girls tell me something about the choices and money tie them plus what Voke just said I will narrow everything down to choices it all starts from choices that is the root cause of everything you also chose wallet think so money is good poverty is bad that is probably what the society has showed us or even us we've witnessed in the society even while growing up I didn't say that personally I didn't say that where I am today especially with my parents is the same place I was when I was growing up I am the first born at home so I will tell you poverty is just work hard look at this camera and tell somebody you have failed already about these choices the problem from what I've witnessed is that most of men will come into our lives with a lot of promises with a lot of a lot of lies in terms of niku na pesa or rather I am capable I have that money then the problem comes in where you can no longer maintain that that you can no longer maintain it so that brings a lot of problems sincerely speaking today if you came to me as a man niku na pesa and you're showing me that money and you're lavishing the same money on me then all of a sudden that money is no longer there trust you me it will be a story of another day thank you Andy it is okay you have the money or rather sometimes we're just growing together there is the gradual growth so you are telling girls to learn to grow together not money at the first sight not money at the first sight even as a man even if you have the money don't make it the basis of your relationship woke time is really on our neck say something as a parting shot my parting shot is there is a certain song it's a local circular song by reckless and major and the major jumped into that track by saying that gari niya shugamami keja niya dirani na luku niya maniki so I would advise not only ladies if a lady you meet a guy gari niya za kwa siyake niya shugamami lukus piya siyake maupanani na keja piya siyake niya niya niiba so all the ladies out there don't fall for a guy because of the looks money or the house fall for a guy because of his heart and have respect and be humble thank you guys there's consequences for every choice we make so if you choose things that are physical and fade away very fast like man who concentrate so much on looks no at some time she will not remain beautiful forever there are shows that we meet here on the street that if you saw them like 20-30 years ago you'd think they are angels from heaven just coming to earth and they will go after some time but now looks went there are also people who had money and money went so kindly what I advise is that don't measure on the temporary the temporary is set to go the temporary will some time go I love the fact that most ladies choose heart and I'm somehow disappointed with fellow men that most of them choose looks but looks is also important we told me that you have to care how your children will look like in the future so we have lessons from that just as I always tell you these lessons to learn from this what this we say so that if you about to make some decision which would blunt you into some danger you take care of it we also not discouraging separation if there is danger like if there is danger in what you are your life is at danger we encourage you that you work away in the morning we love having you we also appreciate those who with us my EBO panelist Wendy and Voke and on behalf of Van I say thank you and also on behalf of Faye who was here sometime back we say thank you all the technical team who assisted us to make this successful done everybody including Miriam and my EBO director Jo and everybody thank you very much till we meet next week bye keep safe