 The Kraft Foods Company presents the Great Gildersleeve. He brought to you by the Kraft Foods Company makers of Parquet, Margarine and a complete line of famous quality food products. Summerfield. In Gildersleeve's experience there are two kinds of evenings. Those on which a man has either got to get out of the house or go crazy and those on which wild horses couldn't drag him out. This is one of the latter. Having stuffed himself comfortably at dinner He settles into his easy chair, pats his tummy, and beams upon his niece and nephew. Leroy, where are you going? Upstairs. I gotta do my homework. Couldn't you do it down here? Oh, sure, I guess so, only I thought you said... Well, ordinarily, I think it's better if you do your homework in your room by yourself. That's true, my boy. But just this once, if we're all very quiet. Eh, Marjorie, what do you think? Think you could concentrate down here? I guess so. Why? Leroy? I can concentrate anywhere. Good. I just thought it'd be nice if we spent an evening together for a change. After all, I've hardly seen you children lately, except at mealtime. Man likes to feel his family around him sometimes. I thought we could have a fire, maybe? Oh, I think that'd be nice. We'll just spend the whole evening quietly together. Concentrating. Leroy, you do what you're doing. Marjorie, do what she's doing. I'll do what I'm doing. What say? Make no difference to me, long as I get this done, that's all. Ah, you'll get it done. After all, if we're all concentrating, we won't interfere with each other, will we? Besides, it'll be good practice concentrating. That's one of the most important things you can learn in school, my boy. Concentration. Learn to concentrate. Okay. Well, stop talking now, Leroy, and do our work, shall we? Who's talking? Well, don't. You can't talk and concentrate too, you know. By the way, what are you working on there? Arithmetic. Arithmetic. Marjorie, what are you working on? Social. Oh, social? Well, yes, I'll read my book. Anybody seen my book? What book? The book I was reading. Well, I didn't know you were reading a book. What book? The book. The book. The book I started. What's the name of it? How do I know? I was reading it, and I had it right here. Somebody's moved it. Birdie! Uncle Mort, nobody's touched your book. If you can't remember the title, what was it about? Maybe I could... I can't remember that either, but I was reading it, and I know that. Mr. Gelsie, did you... If Birdie, did you move my book? No, sir, not me. I don't touch a thing. If I find a thing laying around anywhere, I dust around it. I know, because that's the way I was brought up, and that's the way I am. I don't touch a thing. Not me, no, sir. Did I do what? My book. Have you seen it? Book, book. What kind of book, Mr. Gelsie? What did it look like? Well, it had a cover. It was blue or red, maybe. Anyway, it was some color. That is a scrap of paper stuck in it where I stopped reading. Kind of a fat book, as I remember. Fat book with a scrap of paper. It ain't this one. Let's see. Birdie, you're wonderful. I don't know what I'd do without you. I knew it had a title. Anthony Adverse. Anthony Adverse. What's the matter with Anthony Adverse? Well, you don't want to read that. It's 10 years old. My dear, some of the greatest books in the world are 10 years old, and more. But Anthony Adverse. Oh, let him read it, and let me do my homework. I will simply remind you, my dear, that this book was chosen by a book club. It wasn't just written by some Tom Dicker Harry, you know. Let's see, who did write it? Never heard of him. Mr. Gelsie, pardon me, but... Yes, Birdie? I got all them grocery bills any time you want to check them over. You asked for them, remember? Oh, well, thanks, Birdie. That's fine. Any time? Not tonight, Birdie. I'm pretty tired tonight. Some other time. Yes, any time. Just never know they're piling up out there. Yeah, pretty tired tonight. Our day. Long day, too. I'm driving myself too hard, I'm afraid. Mistake. You know, well, who's stopping you? Well, how can I figure with you talking all the time? I'll leave it to anybody here if I've been... Marjorie, have I been talking all the time? Uncle Mort, read your book. All right, Leroy. Sorry, I won't say another word. Chapter 2. Is that as far as I got? This is an awful complicated book. Off a lot of people in it. A lot of plot, too. Can't even remember the part I read. Maybe I'll just wait till the movie comes out. It's come out. It has? Common gone. What am I reading this for, then? Guess I'll read a magazine instead. After all, I worked pretty hard today. Now, there's my idea of nothing at all. I asked you my dear, take a look at... Oh, the constant... What's the matter with him? Read your magazine and let me read my book. Yes, yes. There's a life for me. Yes, sir, that's for me. That's the way I like to end my days. How? There's an ad here. Picture me following his wife, I guess. Anyway, they're holding hands. Oh, what of it? They're on a ship going someplace, leading on the rail, looking out to sea at the sunset. She's wearing a cap and smoking a pipe. Looks like he's taking it easy. What's the point? Well, the ad says that... Just think, darling, in only 15 years you'll be able to retire on $160 a month. Say, look into this. Read it. Yes, sir, no more worries, no more cares. Since Mary and I decided to take care of our future with Indestructible's New Easy Way Plan. Just 15 years and I can retire. Travel, play golf, take life easy. Do all the things we wanted to. Oh, I'd love to travel. I'd rather travel than anything. 160 a month at age 60 guaranteed income as long as you live. Oh, I've always wanted to go somewhere in a boat. Says here, don't delay. Mail in the coupon today. Even it was only a little boat. Even if it didn't go anywhere much. Uncle, what else does it say? Well, I've got this coupon you fill out and then beside it here there's a... Guess it's a Balinese dancing girl. I don't know where she comes in, but anyway... Oh, Uncle, let's do it. Do what? Let's go somewhere in a boat. Well, it wouldn't be bad. See the world, visit points of interest. Oh, let's... Of course, you don't get this money for 15 years. I'll wait, I'll do anything, but let's go somewhere. Well, it would be something to look forward to. Lee Roy, how would you like to go on a trip? Trip where? Everywhere, all over the world. No, no, my dear, let's not get too excited. Uncle, Mark's going to retire. No, Ken. Well, not right now, but I'm considering it. Boy, I'd sure like to retire. You retire from what? You haven't even started. No, my boy, you have a long full life ahead of you. A life of useful endeavor, I trust. Who wants that? When you retire, you go around the world. I'm going to retire when I'm 21. Better start saving your pennies then. By the way, I wonder what this easy way plan costs. Doesn't seem to say here anywhere. Sand in the coupon, Uncle. It says sand in the coupon. I suppose it's an annuity of some kind. Sand in the coupon, and they'll explain. Yeah, sand in the coupon, Uncle. Now don't rush me. There are a lot of angles to this. A lot of financial considerations. Uncle, it says just sand in the coupon. Well, what can I lose? Come roistering around, wanting sodas at all hours the night, huh? I was just talking up. Yeah, lad, I caught you. Pee-vee, could you let me have a stamp? We never seem to have any at home. Yes, I guess you could. I'm going to get this thing off tonight, if possible. It's important. Now, did you want the three-cent stamp or the one-cent? We have both. Well, this'll take a three. And a three seems to be more popular. That'll be three cents. I have an air mail if you'd care to go that high. Well, what the heck? I'll blow eight cents. This is important. Air mail's only five now. Five? Pee-vee, don't tell me you're selling cut-rate stamps. No, the government has just produced a fare. There you are. Thank you. And you have three cents coming. And... What do they put on these? I imagine that's harmless. Pee-vee, you know what's in that envelope? No, Mr. Geltis, leave behind. No. Pee-vee, let me ask you a question. This may be a little personal. Most questions turn out that way. You don't mind? I don't have to answer it. No, I guess you don't. But you're a fool if you don't. Pee-vee, fuel for thought. Pee-vee, have you ever stopped to think what you'll be doing at the age of 60? I'm doing it. I'm 60 now and then some. Oh, yeah, well, that's so. Well, I guess this wouldn't help you much then. Too bad you didn't get started younger. Get started? Well, if you'd played your cards right, Pee-vee, if you'd shown a little more foresight, you wouldn't be down here working every evening. You'd be home enjoying life with Mrs. Pee-vee. I don't know. I wouldn't say that. All right, you'd be off someplace. Yellowstone Park, the Grand Canyon. Well, what's your matter with Summerfield? There's nothing to matter with Summerfield. You're not more comfortable than the Grand Canyon. Don't you ever want to go anywhere? Don't you ever want to retire? What for? Why does anybody want to retire? So you can take life easy. So you can spend more time with your wife. I'll tell you, I consider I've been pretty lucky. Mrs. Pee-vee and I have remained on good terms all these years, and I wouldn't want to risk changing it. And I don't know if she could stand to see any more of me than she does. All right, Pee-vee, have it your own way. But if you ask me, it's a lot of sour grapes. The idea. A man your age having to work here till 10 and 11 o'clock at night. Mr. Gillifield, do you know what keeps me here till 10 and 11 o'clock at night? No, what? People coming in here after I've closed wanting to buy stamps. Well, I guess I can take a hint. I'm extremely sorry to have troubled you, Mr. Pee-vee. Oh, please don't misunderstand. I'm all right. I was merely trying to make a suggestion for your own welfare, but I see it's too late. Mr. Gillifield. In the future, I'll buy my stamps from Beckham. Mr. Gillifield, don't go away angry. Please, I wouldn't want that to happen. Well, all right. I was just carrying my little Joe. You know, I'm afraid my sense of humor runs away with me at times. Oh. Well, maybe I was a little touchy, too. By the way, there's the mailbox. Don't forget to mail your letter. Oh, thanks for reminding me. I bet you'd like to know what's in that letter, wouldn't you? Well, never mind. Just remember this. As long as you're a friend of mine, Pee-vee-old boy, you never have to worry. The Great Gilded Sleeve will be busy planning his retirement again in just a minute. Well, Mr. Lang, what do you have to say about Parquet Margarine tonight that's new and different? The story is really about the same. In fact, I was just going to mention that Parquet Margarine has been of the same fine quality all through this period when spreads for bread have been scarce. Craft is using the same top quality ingredients as always to produce delicious, nourishing Parquet. Oh, and that's something we really appreciate, Mr. Lang. Whenever I can get it, I like to serve Parquet Margarine with hot toast for breakfast or with bread and rolls for lunch and dinner, because it always tastes just right. That's what millions of families have discovered. Parquet's fresh, country sweet flavor has made it one of America's best-liked spreads for bread. Today, of course, all spreads for bread continue to be scarce, and you may not find Parquet Margarine every time you shop. But when you do, you'll find it the same high quality it's always been. And you may be sure craft is producing to the limit of available supplies. So look first for delicious flavor fresh Parquet. P-A-R-K-A-Y, Parquet Margarine. Now let's get back to the great Gilder Sleeve. Since mailing the coupon, that is to take care of his future, a new sense of security and well-being has come over him. It has been noticeable in little ways. You know, Marjorie, I was passing the Army and Navy store today. They got a yachting cap in the window down there. I've always wondered how I'd look in a yachting cap. Why, George, I'm tired of shaving myself every morning. Why should I? Maybe a shoe shine, boy. Give the place a little class. My place too classy for most of my customers right now. Just name one of the regulars that had laid down a buck for a manicure. Go on, name one. Throckmorton P. Gilder Sleeve. Yeah. Boy, certainly. If you had a winsome little blonde holding my hand, I'd buy a manicure every week. So would plenty of your customers. I don't know. I got to feel that most of the regulars are just buy a haircut and look at her for free. When you talk about a shoe shine, boy, I tried that. When? Four or five years ago, a colored fellow named Willie gave you Don Good Shine for 10 cents. Oh, yes, I remember Willie. Well, he would have stopped to death here if he hadn't went in the Army. Hey, how's that? Nice and smooth, ain't it? Oh, that's fine, Floyd. Fine. The trouble with this barbershop is you can't make any money this way. You ought to expand. I do all right. What'll you do when you're too old to work? Just keep on working, I guess. That's no way to talk, Floyd. You ought to arrange to retire in a few years. Take life easy. It's tough to pile up a retirement fund with a class of trade I got. Well, you do have some cheapskates, of course. You said it. Well, Judge Hooker, good morning, Judge. Come in, Judge. We were just talking about you. Will you be along, Floyd? I'm just the one so politely from Mr. Gilda's leave here. Sit down. I'll be right with you. Talking about me, you say, Gilda? I was just giving Floyd a little advice. I'll pass it along to you, too, Judge. You fellows ought to start thinking about your old age. Indeed. Certainly. If you had any sense, you could both retire in a few years and spend the rest of your life just lolling around. I can't say that's a prospect that appeals to me, particularly. Sounds good to me, Commissioner. I'd be willing to start tomorrow. How do you work it? I'll tell you, Floyd. Personally, I've made arrangements so I can retire when I'm 60. Nice, fat little check coming in every month. Well, insurance? Well, it's a form of insurance. Annuity. That's the place to put your money. You got any annuities, Floyd? No. Got a thousand dollar policy on my wife that's about my only investment. What about you, Horace? You got any annuities? No. Since when have you had one? I happen to have a little foresight. You ought to look into it, Horace, unless you're planning to live off your sister in Cleveland during your sunset years. How about the judge's fix, so he don't have to worry? Yes, sir. I bet he's got a bundle laid away someplace. Maybe I have, maybe I haven't. Well, if you buy an annuity, you can't miss, judge. You put this money in every month, and then when you're 60... I'm familiar with the principle of annuities. For a fellow like you incapable of planning your own investments, I suppose it's an excellent arrangement. Who's in... Take it easy, Commissioner, until I get off your lip. Well, we could snap it. Finish him up, Floyd. I've got to be in court by 10. Take your time, Floyd. I want the full treatment. All right. You're all done now. Just slap on a little lotion, and there you are. All right, you old goat, get in the chair. Thank you. See if I got some money here. George, I'm afraid I'll have to give you some pennies, Floyd. I ain't got nothing against pennies. Wish I had a billion of them. I have to go to the bank and get some cash. I can just make it, Floyd. 48, 49, 50. Right? Well, it's the price of a shave. I'll owe you the tip, Floyd. I'll be in later in the week. Goodbye, Judge. So long, Floyd. Gotta go to the bank. Him and his manicures. Super banking, isn't it? Yes, it is. I suppose you're here on official business? Oh, no. Purely personal. Just want to deposit a couple of lamb chops. Date of the order of, uh, myself. Well, ten dollars is enough. No hundreds. Brock Morton, be Gildersley. Good morning, Mr. Gildersley. Making a deposit, I presume. No. Just one little folding money. A five and five ones, please. Yes, sir. Brock Morton, be Gildersley. What are you doing? Looking me up? You ought to know my signature by now. Just a formality, Mr. Gildersley. Banks, rigmarole, and red tape. Come on, I'm in a hurry. Oh, Mr. Gildersley, if I'm afraid... No, what? Well, I'm sure you saw this. What did you say? I said you saw this. Speak up, confounder. I can't hear you. I said your account is overdrawn. And three dollars and twenty-six. What? I'm sorry. But under the circumstances, I'm afraid we can't honor your change. I've got a balance of over a hundred dollars. Oh, now, Mr. Gildersley, these things happen. Not in a well-run bank, they don't. I've got half a mind to do my banking somewhere else. In fact, I would if there was another bank. Oh, my dear sir. You better check your accounts, Mr.... Well, maybe you'd better check yours. Six and eight is fourteen and nine is twenty-three. What does it mean when you're overdrawn? Four, seven, eight, twelve. One to carry. Is it like being broke? Leroy, for heaven's sake, he's trying to add. And it's worse than being broke. If you're overdrawn, you owe the bank money. And if you don't pay them, well, something happens, I'm sure. Once and for all, get this through your heads. I'm not overdrawn. The bank has made a mistake and I've got to find it. That's all. That's what you always say, Anki. Have they ever been wrong? Why don't you check these figures, my dear? Here. Here's the balance, September 1st. The bank and I saw eye to eye, September 1st. Well, what's this, your deposits? Yep. Well, there's a mistake of a hundred dollars, right here. Where? Here, adding the deposits to the old balance. You gave yourself a hundred dollars too much. But, George, that must be it. But that still doesn't explain where the devil's all the money gone. I'm going to get to the bottom of this. Birdie! What's she got to do with it? We're spending too much money, that's what. Birdie, you're supposed to keep track. Did you call me, Miss Gilsley? Yes, Birdie. Now, I've asked you to keep track of our expenses, haven't I? Yes, sir. Well? I've been keeping track, they're getting awful high. This is a fine time to tell me. I've been trying to tell you before, Mr. Gilsley. I tried to tell you a day before yesterday. That's right, Uncle. She did. I can't tell you if you won't listen. Well, let's look into this right now. Have you got the bills, Birdie? I got the slips, yes, sir. I'll bring in the slips and you'll see. I knew this was going to pop, Birdie. Leroy, sometimes I wonder if you're possessed of ordinary normal judgment. Do you think this is an opportune time to ask for money? I only asked for a quarter. Gee, if I'd asked for a buck, but a lousy quarter. There's no such thing as a lousy quarter. I haven't got a quarter. From now on, every penny counts. Do you understand? Yeah, I guess so. Mr. Gilsley, here's the slips. Uh-huh. Sit down, Birdie. Now, the total grocery bill was $78 last month. Why is it so high? Stuff is going up, that's all. Ridiculous. Prices haven't moved that far. Let's see, for instance. Well, there's two pounds of peas we had for dinner last night. $0.60. Used to be $0.30. We'll eat no more peas. Make a note of that, Birdie. Yes, sir. Beans gone up, too. $0.50 worth of beans there. See that? String beans? I don't like them anyway. Cut out the beans from now on. What about the meat? There ain't any. Found it. We've got to eat something, Birdie. Chicken? $0.80 a pound, Mr. Gilsley. Forget the chicken. Potatoes gone up? Yes, sir. Bread? Yes, sir. See, the whole grocery bill here is $0.78. Last September, our bill was under $0.50. We're eating too much. We're eating less than we used to. Yeah? I can't understand it. Let me see some of these slips. Darn things. You never can read them. What's this here? Looks like blood. That? That's bluing. That's gone up, too. What's this? Ammonia. We've got to cut out these frills, Birdie. From now on, nothing but necessities. Yes, sir. That'll save us about $0.15 a month. We've got to save substantially somewhere, Birdie. What's this? Oranges a dollar and a quarter? Yes, sir. That's for the orange juice for breakfast. Leroy's got to have his orange juice if he's going to grow. Leroy's too big already. Look at this bill from Hogan Brothers. Pants for Leroy, $0.365. Shirts for Leroy, $0.2 for $0.80. Jackets, $0.650. And look at him. What do you do with these new clothes, Leroy? Obviously, you don't wear them. These are the pants. They look a hundred years old. Are they the best pants you have? Yep. I need some new shoes, too. They'll have to wait. This is serious, children. These bills for September, Hogan Brothers, $0.85, $0.60. Oh, I had to have a coat, Anki. I won't need another one for quite a while. Groceries, $0.78. Milk and meat, $0.45. That's over $200 right there. Bernie's salary, Dennis' bill, Peavey's bill, Plummer's bill, Leroy's music lessons, Paris cleaners and dyers. Why, do you realize? What? We can't live on my salary. There's $375 in bills right there, just for necessities. I'd be willing to give up music lessons. No. I'll give up cigars. Anki, I'll take the coat back to Hogan's. I haven't even worn it yet. No, my dear, we'll find a way. Bye, George. Doorbell, I'll get it. Good afternoon, Mr. Gildersleeve at home? Yes, sir. Who shall I say it is? Mr. Bradley, Clifford Bradley. Yes, sir. Mr. Gildersleeve, Mr. Bradley wants to see... Mr. Bradley? Mr. Gildersleeve, I understand you're interested in our plan to retire and live like a king on $160 a month. Oh, get off my... Get off the property. Get out of here and go... If you're looking for fine quality, delicious flavor, and good nourishment, and you're spread for bread, look first for parquet margarine. Whenever your food dealer can supply you, you'll find that parquet is the same fine quality as always. Country sweet in flavor, rich in food energy, and with 15,000 units of important vitamin A in every pound. The Kraft Foods Company is maintaining the high quality that has made parquet a favorite spread of millions. And we're continuing to produce all the parquet we possibly can. Our only regret is that there's not more available at present to meet every family's complete needs. So please be patient when supplies are temporarily short. And remember to always look first for that good name and quality spreads, P-A-R-K-A-Y, parquet margarine, made by the Kraft Foods Company. We're saying, Mr. Gildersleeve, the beauty of our plan is that you hardly notice the little payments. You get so used to them. But boy, when that old 160 a month starts coming in. Yeah? And another thing that we like to emphasize, our company has been in existence since 1907. Is that a fact? So it's safe. That's why I say you're making no mistake in lining up with our company. Well, why don't you take your foot out of the door and come in? Thank you, Mr. Gildersleeve. I will. Good night, folks. The Great Gildersleeve is played by Harold Perry. It is written by John Gleedon and Sam Moore. The music is by Jack Macon. Included in the cast are Walter Tetley as Lee Roy, Louise Erickson as Marjorie, and Lillian Randolph as Bertie. Judge Hooker is Earl Ross, and Dick Legrand plays Mr. Peavey. This is John Lang saying good night for the Kraft Foods Company and inviting you to listen in again next Wednesday for the further adventures of The Great Gildersleeve. Ladies, when you're hurried and the family's hungry, a quick, sure way to satisfy appetites is to serve delicious Pabstet cheese food. Children love Pabstet's rich cheddar cheese flavor on crackers or toasted sandwiches, and you'll be amazed at how quickly Pabstet melts into a smooth, tempting cheese sauce for macaroni, egg, and hot vegetable dishes. Be sure to have Pabstet cheese food on hand for all occasions. Buy it in both delicious varieties, Pimento Pabstet in the red package and Golden Cheddar Pabstet in the familiar round yellow package. This is NBC, the national broadcasting company.