 Your Coca-Cola bottler presents, Claudia. Claudia, based on the original stories by Rose Franken. Brought to you transcribed Monday through Friday by your friendly neighbor who bottles Coca-Cola. Relax, and while you're listening, refresh yourself. Have a Coke. And now, Claudia. With the telephone it always rings when I'm in the middle of something. We're having dinner at Louise's tonight. Well, if you must know I was hanging the curtains. Of course, I'm a step ladder. Oh, Mama, ladders are perfectly safe. I've never fallen off a ladder in my life, and this isn't going to be the first time. Mama, I know there are accidents and bathtubs, but people still take baths, don't they? Say, why don't you stop by on your way over and pick us up, and we can go to Aunt Louise's together. Well, come as soon as you're ready. Yes, Mama, I'll be careful. I'll stand on both feet. Goodbye. Curtain rod, hammer, nails. I'll put them between my teeth. Up we go. The elevator man said I'd find Mrs. Norton in apartment 12. What are you doing up there? What do you think I'm doing up there, frying eggs? Well, fry them on the floor where you belong. As soon as I finish hanging the curtains. Get off of that step ladder this instant. You want to break your neck? Oh, you and Mama, you've got about as much confidence in me as a... About two weeks, old baby. Come on down. Just a minute, David. I think I've got the curtain rod in place. Well, let me do it. All right. Have it your own way. What'd you do all day? Worried that I'd come home and find you hanging curtains. I warned you. I warned you. I warned you. The step ladder moved. I never fell before. You asked for this, so don't come to me for sympathy. I don't want your old sympathy. That's good. I ought to break your neck for this. Maybe I have already. You don't care at all. You just want to gloat. You don't love me, or you wouldn't be just angry. You'd worry. That's why I'm angry, because I love you, you clumsy little fool. That doesn't make sense. That's what you think. Come now, darling. Put your head on my shoulder. All is forgiven. Sorry I'm clumsy. It's all right now, and I'm not angry at you at all. Now, easy, darling. Tell me, does... Does anything hurt? I don't know. I haven't tried yet. I don't think so. Take a deep breath. Everything's going to be fine. I think it's curtain off my head, David. Don't you like looking like a bride? Not in chints. There we are. Unveiled. I'm all in one piece, I guess. I don't see any of me lying around to you. Hush. Now, take a deep breath. And with my last breath, I love you. Well, I guess we don't have to call a doctor. No doctor, or what a shame. You're just lucky that you're all right. That's all I can say. Now, you can be so sure I'm all right. You only asked me about the places I didn't fall on. As long as that's all you fell on. David, now please don't get angry again. Well, I'll try not to. I think we ought to get a new stepladder anyway. Why? I told you this one moved. This is a very intelligent stepladder. We'll keep it. Another stepladder might move in the opposite direction and throw you out of the window. I'm glad I didn't think of that before. You would have now on. Maybe you won't act so smart. I told you this one moved. David, the sunset looks beautiful from the floor. So do you. Come on, get up. Here, take a hold of my hands. I'm getting up. Some of me doesn't want to. Aunt Louisa better have nice soft chairs in her dining room. Aunt Louisa? You forgot we have dinner there tonight. Oh, you would rather not go to Aunt Louisa's tonight. You mean... Exactly. Oh, David, dare we? Well, you just had a nasty fall. And I am getting stiff. My face even. That settles it. Yes, my face. We won't go. But she invited the relatives of her relatives again. It's all the better reason. But the last time we didn't go at the last minute, too. Then she won't be very surprised tonight. What do you think? Well, it's tempting. Of course, I'd rather not go, but no, we've got to. The trouble with you is a conscience. You too. We put it off so many times. We can't do it again. We're going tonight and get it over with. But are you really up to it? I can stand it all right. I wonder if I can sit it, though. My face really feels stiff. Where? Well, let me see. Just, well, I don't know. Around the left side of my face someplace. Come over here by the window. How does it feel? Stiff, I said I can only smile out of one side. How does it look? It's got me so dark in here, I can't see. Now, don't move until I turn on the light. Why shouldn't I move? It isn't safe. You sound as if every night you come home to find me crumpled in a heap on the floor. I don't think that doesn't pass my mind. Aren't you even the least little bit sorry for me? No, not the least little bit. It was all your own fault. It was all the fault of that educated step ladder. I was merely trying to get this house looking as if somebody had... Now, turn around a little. Let me see your face. David, what's wrong now? What are you laughing at? David! If you could see what I... What's so funny about what you see? Oh, David, stop it. Look in the mirror. Just look at yourself. So I've got a smudge on my face. I'll wash it off. No, no, you won't wash this off. I won't? No, not for a few days you won't. David, my eyes closing. David, are you laughing at my eye? I'm laughing at your eye. Get out of my way and let me look in this mirror. Well, how do you like yourself, Mrs. Norton? It's all red and black. Don't forget the blue. It all puffed up. David, I'm a mess. It's a mouse. A mouse? David, where? Right there in the mirror. I didn't see any mouse. Oh, the mouse was downstairs in the other apartment. And don't change the subject. I'm not sensitive. This mouse is up here on your left eye. Well, honestly, you'd think you'd fallen on your head instead of me. A mouse is a shiner, darling, and a shiner is a black eye, and a black eye is your left eye. Oh, I wonder how I got my mouse. If I remember correctly, about five minutes ago, you fell off of... It's that curtain rod it hit me. Honestly, nothing is safe around this place. Nothing is right. What do we do? Have you got a steak in the icebox? A brand new steak? I wouldn't dream of wasting a steak on my eye. It's the only thing, darling. Really helps? Works wonders. Fix you up in no time. Well, thank goodness we haven't got a steak. How about hamburgers? The hamburgers is all right. We haven't got any hamburger either. Then we'll get you a patch. You'll look lovely in a patch and a tin cup. It's not funny to laugh at other people's misfortunes. I'm not laughing. I'm very serious. David, what do we tell Aunt Louisa? Well, tell her we're so sorry, but Claudia has a mouse on her eye. If we mention it at all, we will call it a shiner. Aunt Louisa hates mice. I guess it's her asthma. That's cats. Oh. Now, let's get one thing clear. I'm not going to walk on the street with you looking like that. I wouldn't dream of asking you. You will walk ten paces behind me and act as if we'd never met. Coward. I'm not going to have every woman that passes on the street thinking that I beat my wife. They'll know we're together. How? We just look together. And it would be worse if we looked together with me ten paces behind. I hope you realize you're going around like that, looking that way for a day or two. No. I have just one suggestion. What? I could put a mouse on your other eye and then you'd look tired. Sorry, I can't oblige you being bullied. I'll just have to go around looking tired with one eye. And we'll let Aunt Louisa think I'm one of those people who sleep with one eye open. That must be Mama. What did she say? She'll probably give me the old Ned for not watching you more closely. David, turn up and light before you open the door. You're just darlings. She'll have to know sooner or later. I'd rather have it later. Hello, David. You're not dressed yet. I was just about to. We were held up a bit. Hello, Mother. Come on in. Claudia, you better hurry. Aunt Louisa doesn't like to be kept waiting. Hello, Mama. It'll only take us a minute. Good heavens, what's been going on in here? No, not a thing. Why? Curtains all over the floor, the step ladder on its side. I thought you were hanging them. I was. Goodbye. Where are you going? To get dressed, of course. Goodbye. Claude. Where aren't you coming? What's the matter with you? With me? You're acting very strangely, skulking off as if you were guilty of something. Am I skulking, David? Don't you pick on my wife, Mrs. Brown. My hero, thank you. Claudia, why are you standing sideways? She's got a slight list of the starboard mother. And the wind is west by southeast. So I have to stand sideways or I'll sink. I ought to have you two committed. Come here. Let me look at you. But you look a little pale. David, do I look pale? No, anything but. You look very colorful to me. See, Mama? Goodbye again. Goodbye, goodbye. All right, I'll come over to you, Claudia. I've seen enough of that side of your face. Turn around. Let me see the other one. Well, Mama, don't you like this side of my face? It's her best profile, Mother. Very well. If you won't turn around, I'll walk around you. Steal yourself, darling. You might as well sure. Claudia, your eyes. It's just a little mouse, Mama. It's a black eye. Claudia, what happened? David, you tell her. I beat the living daylights out of her. Stop fooling. That's right. He struck me with his bare fist. I am a cad. Mama, don't you believe it? I do not, poor David. Where did she hit you? Now, that's a nice maternal reaction. Your mother knows I wouldn't strike you first. Why? Because you're a man? Exactly. Thank you, Mother. Now, stop joking and tell me. Does it hurt very much? It's excruciating me painful. Thank you for asking, Mama. I'm glad to see David somebody cares. How did you do it? He told you. David struck me. How do you think she did it? She climbed up that step ladder to hang some curtains and the ladder moved. Tabletail, tabletail. Claudia, you might have hurt yourself badly. And I warned you. Now, you sound just like David. But I don't understand. How you could fall off a step ladder and get a... What's that you called it? That? You call that a mouse? You call that a shiner. It was the curtain rod, Mama, that fell on me. All I can say is you're lucky it didn't put your eye out. Honestly, you two, you're always looking for black clouds. To match your eye, of course. No, to go with my silver lining. Personally, I think it's elegant. Aunt Louise won't think it's so elegant. Why don't you tell her that you walked into a door? Claudia doesn't walk into doors. They walk into her. I will not tell her that. She wouldn't believe it. She won't believe the truth, either. Why don't you put some ice on it? That's an idea. Stay here, dear. I'll get it. Don't bother. We haven't got any ice. We haven't? Not a cube. Why not? We were going out to dinner, so I defrosted the ice box. You're always defrosting. I like defrosting, don't you? Love it. But now there's nothing but water in the ice trays. Well, you always take a little water in your water, don't you? No ways, but it makes it so cool. Which? The water or the water? The water, of course. Oh, of course. Oh. Will you get dressed, the two of you? We'll get some ice on Louise's. Well, while we're dressing, we'll cook up a story for our mother. We don't have to. I know exactly what I'm going to say. This will be good, David. What will you say? I'm not going to say anything. I'll believe that when I don't hear it. That will explain everything beautifully. I won't have to say anything. No. Because I'm going to stare at David reproachfully with my one eye open. Let her draw her own conclusions. This broadcast of Claudia was supervised and directed by William Brown Maloney. There seems to be more visiting, more gathering in homes than there was a while back. Maybe one reason is that plenty of Coca-Cola is available again. You can buy it by the case now, you know. So why not stop and have your grocer or service station attendant put a case in the car today? Keep plenty of Coke on ice. Then you'll be able to extend a friendly gesture to invited or unexpected guests at any time. Every day, Monday through Friday, Claudia comes to you transcribed with the best wishes of your friendly neighbor who bottles Coca-Cola. So listen again Monday at the same time. And now this is joking saying or a war and remember whoever you are, whatever you do, wherever you may be. When you think of refreshment, think of Coca-Cola or ice cold Coca-Cola makes any pause the pause that refreshes.