 Lipton tea and Lipton soups present Inner Sanctum Mysteries. This is your host to welcome you once again to the Inner Sanctum. Do come in and join our circle, but watch out you don't get double-crossed. But uh, oh, you're disturbed by those bodies dangling from the ceiling. Well, you know some people, they just die to come here. Then they hang around week after week and never say a word. Well, I have a theory about that, Mr. Host. Yeah, what's that, Mary? Maybe the reason they're hanging around is because they think we're going to serve refreshments later on. That could be, all right. You know, lots of folks are like that, and who can blame them? When there's good food ahead, they just won't leave. And that's especially true if there's a chance that Lipton tea is on the menu. Now, the reason for that is simply this. Lipton tea is tea at its delicious best, because Lipton's has such grand brisk flavor. In fact, brisk is the very word that tea experts themselves use to describe Lipton's full, hearty taste. You'll agree, I'm sure, the very first time you try it, for Lipton's is so lively and full-bodied and satisfying. Yes, it's that brisk flavor that makes more people buy and enjoy Lipton's than any other brand of tea in the world. So whenever you ask for tea, make sure you ask for Lipton tea. And now, friends, draw close your chairs. If there are no faint hearts among us, we'll begin tonight's tale of terror. A story written especially for Inner Sanctum by Michael Sklar. Our star tonight is Santa Satega, who plays the role of Elwood Fitch in You Could Die Laughing. We wanted to escape our problem, to forget about it, so we went to the movies. But there was a doctor in the story, and every time he appeared on the screen, I remembered. Halfway through the picture, I couldn't sit there anymore. I nudged Catherine and we got up and walked out. The street was cold and dark and empty. Elwood, what do you want to do now? I just want to go back home. All right, dear. Get in the car. Elwood, I want to talk to you. All right, there's time for that. Please, dear, let's stop being silly about this thing. Let's face it. I am facing it. But you're not. Don't argue with me. For heaven's sake, don't you understand? The doctor said you only got a year to live unless we moved to Arizona. Doctors are human. They can make mistakes. Not three, doctor. I don't care. Why are you so stubborn? Why are you so dead set against Arizona? You ought to know why, Catherine. Me? Yes, you. Because of me? Yes. I haven't given you much, Catherine, not even children. But I've been able to make a living. We've been able to get along. What would I do in Arizona without a job and without money? Elwood, slow down. I can still drive a car, Catherine. You're speaking. Let me alone. Passing through a red light. Elwood, that man crossing the street. Look out! Hi. Catherine. Did I...? Yes. He's lying on the ground. Good Lord. He walked in front of the car. We've got to help him. Is he...? He's dead. I didn't mean to do it. I couldn't help it. It happened so fast. Better call the police. Police? Well, you said he's dead. The police. Catherine, there's no one but us on the street. Nobody else saw it happen. What difference does that make? Get back in the car. Elwood, are you suggesting that... I was speeding. I passed a red light. And now this. They'll arrest me. They'll put me on trial for manslaughter. He's dead, isn't he? We can't help him. He won't do many good if I go to jail. But running away, leaving the body... Catherine, we've got enough troubles without this. We're going to get into the car and drive straight to the garage. I've got a year to live. And I'm not going to spend it in prison. Good evening, Mr. Fitch. Want me to put the car away for you? Yes. Show must have let out early, huh? We didn't stay to the end, Dan. Didn't care for the picture. Ah, them pictures. I always tell my wife. Say, what did you hit? Hit? Yeah, your front bumper. Blood on it. Oh. Oh. That blood... A dog ran in front of the car. Do me a favor, Dan. Wash it off before you put the car away. Sure thing, Mr. Fitch. I didn't sleep well that night. Bad dreams. All mixed up. Well, doctors. They all look like the man lying on the street. And their faces were covered with blood. I woke up... exhausted. Breakfast is on the table, Edward. Just a moment. That newspaper can wait. Your toast is getting cold. Oh. Here it is. What are you looking for? The story. You mean last night? It's in the newspaper? Isn't it this? Stenger, victim of hit-and-run driver. The body of Augie Stenger, underworld character, was discovered early this morning at the intersection of Broad and Main Streets. Police believe Stenger was the victim of a hit-and-run driver. The front door? Yes. Do you think it's a police? I don't know. Get a grip on yourself. I'll see who it is. Good morning. You, Mr. Fitch? Yes. What can I do for you? I don't like to talk business on the front doorstep. Business? It's about last night, that accident. What accident? Don't try to act innocent. I saw that hit-and-run. Now, can I come home? Let me handle this, Andrew. Who are you? My name is Chandler. I was in my car last night at Broad and Main Streets. I saw the accident and I followed you home. Thought I ought to talk to you about it this morning. What do you want? The cops are looking for that hit-and-run driver. I'm the only guy that knows your hymn. There ought to be worse something for me to keep my mouth shut. You want money? Yeah. Blackmail. Don't talk to him, Edward. Send him away. No, we can't do that, Catherine. He'd go to the police. But, Edward... Listen to me. All right, Chandler. I'll give you the money. How much? $500. That's chicken feet. $1,000. Ah, now you're talking sense. When do I get it? I'll give it to you now. It's in my coat pocket. Here. Here it is. You'll find exactly $1,000 and $20 bills. Thanks. Now, get out of here. Yeah, wait a minute. Don't get nasty, Fitz. I'm doing you a favor. You got your money? Now get out. I'm going. But I'll be back. Call this the first installment. Edward, where did you get that money you gave him? Money. Last night you said we couldn't go to Arizona because we had no money. Yet you just gave that man $1,000. Where'd you get it? I was ashamed to tell you. I took it from Stinger. Stinger? The man we hit. I put my hand inside his coat to see if his heart was beating. The money was in the inside pocket. Edward, how could you? Don't look at me like that, Catherine. We've been married a long time. Long enough for you to know that I'm not a crook or a murderer. But to kill a man and then take his money. Try to understand. All day long I've been thinking. A year to live. A year to live. When you know you're going to die, it does something to you. You forget what's right and what's wrong. I thought with that $1,000 and a few hundred we've got in the bank, I thought we might be able to go to Arizona after all. Well, the money is gone. Yes. Don't think about it anymore. Oh, can I stop thinking? You heard what Chandler said. That $1,000 is the first installment. He'll blackmail us out of everything we own. Ten. Shut the door, quick. Who is it, Catherine? Shut that door, Mrs. Fitch. You were here only yesterday. What do you want now? The cops after me. You and me on the same boat. What have you done? What do they want you for? Murder. You shouldn't have come here. I figured this place ought to make a pretty good hideout. No. You can't stay here. Oh, he's going to stop me. I won't allow it, Elwood. I won't have this man in my house. All right. Cut the squag. No. I stood a lot in you, Chandler, but stay away from me. Don't you dare touch him. Elwood! Elwood! Don't cry, Catherine. I'm all right. Any more backtalk, Fitch? No. Okay. I'm moving in. He took over the house. He used Catherine and me as servants, treated us like dirt. There was nothing we could do about it. Just the three of us cooped up in that little house. We couldn't go out. Food and cigarettes were sent up from the store. Went on like that until Tuesday morning. Hush, Elwood. Chandler will hear you. He can't. He's in the bedroom. You're going to give yourself up? I can't stand this anymore. I can't stand it. Well, do what you think is best, darling. I've made up my mind. Rather than put up with that man, I'd prefer to go to prison. I'll call the police right now. Hello, Operator. Get me police headquarters. Got a pallet headquarters, Fitch? Chandler! I don't... Don't point that gun at me. Cancel that call. Oh, all right. Hello, Operator. Operator. Never mind that call to police headquarters. No, no, no, nothing's wrong. I just made a mistake. Thank you. You made your last mistake, Fitch. Imagine that black villain Jack Chandler. First he blackmails Elwood, then he blackjacks him, and now he blackballs him from using his own telephone. You know what I'd do if I were Elwood? I'd apply for a writ of habeas corpus. That is, if Chandler doesn't turn Elwood into a corpus first. Things do look bad for Elwood, I must admit, Mr. Host. My, what a lot of unpleasant surprises he's been having. Yes, and he's in for a lot more, Mary. Goodness. Well, right now, I'd much rather talk about pleasant surprises. Well, that's a lady's privilege, Mary. You go right ahead. A good instance of a pleasant surprise happened to me one of those glorious sunny days last week. Florence Perry and I drove out to the woods to gather spring wildflowers, but we'd scarcely reached the woods when the sky clouded over and in a few minutes we were chilled to the bone. Back to the car we hurried, figuring the whole afternoon was ruined. And it was then that Florence brought out that pleasant surprise I mentioned, a big thermos of heavenly hot Lipton tea. Well, we sat down and had ourselves a regular tea party right there in the woods. Suddenly everything seemed bright and cheery again. Lipton's had certainly saved the day with its bracing, cheery taste. Its delightful brisk flavor. The same thing happens so often with so many folks. Any time during the day, Lipton's is a pleasant, refreshing treat. Tea with a glorious, full-bodied tang that adds extra zest to every occasion. The reason? It's worthwhile remembering, friends. Lipton tea has brisk flavor. Now, friends, let's get back to those lovely people, Jack Chandler and Elwood Fitch. Chandler the murderer and Elwood the hit-and-run driver. It's quite a pair. Together they make a full house. A moment ago, Elwood tried to give himself up to the police, but Chandler caught him at the telephone. So, you were gonna double-cross me, eh? No. I was only going to tell the police about myself. But he is supposed to have happened to me when the cops came for you. I ought to kill you right now. Oh, no! You shut up! First thing I'm gonna do is pull out that phone so you don't make no more calls to headquarters. Eh, that settles the phone. Now stand up. What are you going to...? The door. Can you see what is through the window, Fitch? Yes. Take a look. But remember, I still got this gun. Don't try any tricks. It's a man. Recognize him? No. Now listen, before you open the door, I'm taking your wife into the next room with me. I'll be able to watch you and hear every word you say. You know what I'll do to Mrs. Fitch if you double-cross me. Yes. Okay. Now answer the door. Mr. Fitch. Elwood Fitch. That's right. May I come in? Yes, of course. I'm Detective Farley from headquarters. Here's my badge. Mind if I ask a few questions? What about? Well, I've been assigned to the Stinger case. Familiar with it? I... I read about it in the newspaper. A hit-and-run driver. That's the case. What do you know about it, Fitch? Nothing. Are you sure? See, hey, you don't... When your wife went to the movies Friday night, correct? Yes, that's right. Did you drive straight to your garage from the movies? Why, no, it wasn't a good movie, so we left early and went for a ride. Did you pass the corner of Broad and Main Streets? No. We went in the other direction. You're lying, Fitch. I've been checking garages for that hit-and-run car. Your garage man told me you brought your car in Friday night with blood on the bumper. I told him we ran into a dog. Don't make me laugh. Your story wouldn't hold up a minute if that fool garage man hadn't washed the blood off. Are you going to arrest me? I need evidence first. When I get it, I'll come back. Blood on the bumper. That cop is wise to you, Fitch. He... he said he'd be back. Sure. I'll be snooping around looking for proof. This is one heck of a hideout. I'm leaving. You're going away? Glad to that, ain't you? Well, you got nothing to celebrate. What? What do you mean? I need time, plenty of time to get away from the city. I'm not going to leave you here to squeal to the cops as soon as I'm out of the door. We wouldn't tell the police. Yeah, I'm going to make sure you don't. I got one murder rap on me already. It might as well be three. Three? Edward, he means... Listen, Chandler, I swear we won't tell. Why should we? Remember what you said. We're both in the same boat. The police are after me, too. You tried to double-cross me once before. I ain't taking any chances. Please, please. There's no use begging. It won't do no good. Well, when are you going to do it? Before I go. Sometime after dark. The rest of that day was a nightmare. Chandler wouldn't let me separate from Catherine. Everywhere we went, everything we did, he was always behind us with that gun in his hand. A gun. I had to take it away from him. He was much younger than I, big and tough, but I had to try. I watched for my chance. It came late in the afternoon. He was lighting a cigarette. He put the gun down on the living room table while he felt in his pockets for a match. Both of us were the same distance from the gun. I made a dive. Hey, get away from that rod. No, let go. Hey, Chandler, for this. Catherine, help me. Grab his hand. Let go of me. Hold him, Catherine. Hang on, Tom. He's dead. I had to shoot him. I had to. Now what will we do? I don't know. What would he do if the position to a reversed? Call the police. No. The money. The money I gave him. The thousand dollars I took from Stenger. He's still got it. It's ours again, Catherine. We're going to Arizona. Arizona. Don't you see? It's just like it was before he came. We'll take the money and we'll go to Arizona. But it is baldy. It's a murder. He said so himself. We'll put the body into the car, drive out to the suburbs and leave it on the highway. The police will think it was just another gangster murder. I was just able to squeeze the dead body into the luggage compartment. Hurry, Edward. Let's get away before one of the neighbors sees us. Oh, my gosh. Now what's the matter? The gasoline gauge. It's almost empty. We'll have to stop at the garage. I drove back to the garage. I had Dan fill the tank and paid him with one of the $20 bills I had taken from the body of Stenger. Dan gave me a clear look as he brought me the change. Here you are, Mr. Fitch. 13 gallons out of a $20 bill. Thanks, Dan. Oh, by the way, did a detective come around to your house the other day? Yes, he did. I hope you don't hold it against me telling him about that blood on the bumper of your car. Of course not, Dan. Why should I? After all, I had nothing to hide. No, that's right. Well, you know, to tell you the truth, Mr. Fitch, I was a little suspicious of you. I thought you really might be that hit-and-run driver. Not that it matters much now. No? No, no. The police don't care much now about that driver. Why not? Oh, he's small potatoes now. I just heard over the radio that that guy, Stenger, was just about dead even before that hit-and-run driver hit him. Hey, how could that be? Well, the way the radio explained it, Stenger was shot in the back and he staggered out into the street and then the car hit him. But you said he wasn't killed by the car. That's right. The coroner's inquest showed that he died of a bullet wound. He'd been murdered. The police even know who killed him. They know the killer's name? Uh-huh. I heard over the radio just a minute ago. Oh, yeah, Chandler. Jack Chandler. I don't remember driving away from the garage. Kept going around in my brain. Chandler had murdered Stenger. Catherine and I had run away from a crime we hadn't committed. I wonder Chandler had seen the accident. No wonder he feared the police. And now he was dead. His body packed into the luggage compartment of the car. Edward, you're not listening to me. What? Oh, I was thinking about Chandler. That's what I was talking about. If he kills Stenger, why can't we go to the police and confess everything? Because we killed Chandler. Push for self-defense. Would the police believe that? They'd have to believe it. Even if they did, it would be murder in the third degree. They'd learn about the $1,000. I'd be happy to know that. We'd never get to Arizona. No, Catherine. We've got to go through with our original plan. Edward, that's Iron. The police car behind us. What are you going to do? They may not be after us. They do stop us. Let me do the talking. Don't be afraid, Catherine. I'll handle it. Ladies, man and woman, you answer the description all right. Name, Fitch? Yes. What's the trouble, officer? There's no trouble. There's no alert out for you. You bought gas back at your garage a few minutes ago. Paid for it with a $20 bill. That's right. Got any more of those bills on you? Why? Yes. And I'm over. Here. Here they are. Uh-huh. Looks like it's all here. This is the stuff, all right? What stuff? What are you talking about? This money. It's kind of it. Just like the bill you gave the garage man. Kind of it? Falling money down to the last dollar. Move over. We're driving a headquarter. Well, that's the story to take to Farley. You'll find Chandler's body in the back of my car. Wanting to put your signature on this confession, Mr. Fitch? Yes. I'll sign it. You could have saved yourself a lot of grief. I knew you were the hit-and-run driver when I came around to your house. But I needed the proof, and you gave it to me when you broke one of these phony $20 bills. Did you know then about the money? Sure. Staying around a long record is a counterfeiter. His girl told us he was carrying $1,000 in bad money the night he was killed. Naturally, when we didn't find the money on his body, we knew it had been taken by the hit-and-run driver. And the blood on the bumper of your car was the giveaway. Well, now that you've caught me, what's going to happen to me? Well, it depends on the jury. You might get 20 years. You might get life imprisonment. You might even get acquitted. I'm in the courtroom now. Catherine beside me, waiting for the decision. The jury just filed in. The judge has asked if they reached a verdict. The foreman of the jury is rising to his feet. Your Honor, we find the defendants not guilty. Oh, oh, oh, oh, Catherine. Oh, Elwood, thank heaven. I don't know whether it's to laugh or cry. Oh, darling, you were right in the very beginning. Money or no money, we're going to Arizona. Well, fools at that time, friend, slipped you a happy ending when you weren't set for it. But that jury decision, I don't know, it sounded a bit fishy. But seriously, friends, do you like happy endings? I don't, but then some people do. You know, someday, just to make sure, I'm going to have some research organization take a gallows' poll. Well, Mr. Host, that seems a lot of trouble to go to when there's plenty of proof right in front of your nose that says people love happy endings. And what is that proof, Mary? It's the way thousands and thousands of families every day top off delicious meals with delicious Lipton Tea. There's a real happy ending for breakfast, lunch, or dinner, folks. Try it and see. In fact, so that you won't forget it, add Lipton Tea to your grocery list right now, this very minute. It's the world's favorite tea. And you're always sure of getting tea at its tastiest when you get Lipton's. Because remember, Lipton Tea has that marvelous brisk flavor. A parting word of advice, friends, drawn from the experiences of Elwood Fitch. If your wife wants you to take a trip, don't argue. No, don't pretend. Simply bash her on the head and deliver her to the police. You can always say she tripped. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Oh, yes, this month's inner sanctum mystery novel is I Hate Blondes by Wolf Kaufman. And next week, the makers of Lipton Tea and Lipton Soups will bring you another inner sanctum story directed by Hyman Brown and called Screams in the Night. Of course, there'll be lots of screams. The kinds you like. Blood curdling. And there's the usual triangle. A man, his wife, and another girl. But the Joker is he who grafts best gasps last. Don't get it? Ha, ha, ha, ha. Then for the details, better be listening to inner sanctum next week. Hmm. Until then, good night. Pleasant dream. Hmm. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Let's begin at the beginning of the meal, friends, with the soup. If you want soup to be both delicious and easy to prepare, make it Lipton's noodle soup. Here's a soup that has real honest-to-goodness chickeny flavor. It's full of tender noodles. And because it comes in modern soup mix form, it saves both time and money. Lipton's noodle soup mix is quick to make, and it makes lots more than canned soups, yet costs less. Try Lipton's noodle soup. And tune in next week for another inner sanctum mystery. This is CBS, the Columbia Broadcasting System.