 Today, we would continue with the human adjustment processes where we were talking about the maintenance needs. Last time, we had discussed four maintenance needs, curiosity, understanding, order and predictability. Today, we would continue with the remaining maintenance needs. The next most important maintenance need is adequacy, which basically is somewhere a greater source of information for oneself in terms of helping you go for auto correction mode, also in terms of realizing what would be sufficient for you given a particular type of situation that you are experiencing and particular type of or a set of expectations that people have from you. So, adequacy that we know somewhere plays extremely important role as to make you realize that find what you have done is adequate enough or you need to do more. Also in terms of say not only complying to the need of the external world, but even in terms of satisfying one's own need, you look at what you have achieved, what were the expectations from you, what you had thought of your own self and then you try to finalize whether it is whatever you have experienced in life, whatever you have finally achieved in life. So, based on your past experiences, what do you consider? Are your achievements sufficient enough or do you want to need to move ahead? Usually in life, once you achieve a target and usually in most of the cases it would be when you are about to achieve the target, human beings have a tendency of sliding the bar little higher. You must have seen in the track and field events for jumps especially, high jump, long jump, pole vault for example, where once you have crossed a limit, then you again make successive attempts just for the sake of record. So, you slide the bar little higher and you again retry to see whether you have achieved that level or not. Now, there is a certain level that you have already achieved, you slide the bar and in case in the games it happens, in case you are not able to do that, your earlier level will be considered good enough for giving you medals. In day to day life, many of us are like that, you set an intermediate target for yourself and while you are able to approach your target, when you know that it is coming your way, very soon it will be there, you just slide it little higher. This basically is a situation where you put yourself under tremendous demand, not only the demand that the environment puts on you, but at the same time you also expect more from you, you think that probably you are able to achieve more and hence you should be trying more and more towards that direction. With respect to adjustment, this whole dynamics plays interesting role because it gives you a reason why to get engaged with the worldly things. So, there is a certain degree of feedback that you take into account, there is certain degree of self appreciation that you take into account, there is certain degree of deficit that you also find I was not able to achieve things this way or up to this level and then all these engagements help you grow in the process, it also keeps you engaged in the process and therefore, it plays a good role in terms of maintaining your mental balance, in terms of helping you out leading a healthy mental life. Then comes the whole sense of competence, how competent you are, now again in the previous case also we found that many of these constructs were interlinked, they were too close to each other. So is the situation here, when you realize that you are competent enough to do something and hence one level again would be that when you realize that you are competent enough to do something and second level where the people in your environment, the other stakeholders would consider you to be competent enough. The more and more know is the sense of competence, now you are full of that self esteem, you consider that these are things that can certainly be achieved, especially in certain cases, I am again trying to now look at couple of situations where the examples could be know two apart in terms of their whole nature, but we are trying to look at it from the competence perspective and how these things finally affect the psychological adjustment. If you look at the different, the life of different heroes, the war veterans, you would realize know that many of them did things which they were not actually expected of, things which their own teammates did not think of, but then and you never thought that know you are competent enough to do that, but somewhere at a given point in time suddenly there is a self realization that perhaps things can be done like this and I can certainly do that and finally you achieved that level. You have a war veteran coming for a talk in the evening, if you read the description, you would find know that type of a situation there, something that the rest of the teammates did not think of, now you think of climbing that know hilt off from the most steepest side and then finally even though you are short with certain bullets, you still know keep on doing what you had planned off. Now, certain sense of realization will come half way when you are trying to achieve a target and this makes you realize that fine I am certainly competent enough to do this. Bullets are not going to stop me, even in 1971 war there was a similar type of an episode, do we have somebody here from Jharkhand, you are from which place, Hazari Bagh, very close to your place know in Ranshi you have a very great war veteran coming from that region, have you heard his name, Albertika, now Albertika was the man, similar type of situation he had experienced during the 1971 war and all he did was know that there was no face to face exchange of fires between the Indian armed forces and the Pakistani armed forces and then this team decided that there could be a possibility of following a longer way out, reaching the Pakistani post from the back and then hitting them because this team could realize that there was one central point from where all these fires were coming. Now, this man now went ahead with that plan in terms of executing it and while he was about to enter that post and there was only one survival, there was only one survivor there in the Pakistani post also. So, the person sitting there with the machine gun could realize that somebody is entering from the back side, so he know turned his gun towards Albertika. Now, Albertika got multiple shots, he was already exhausted of his bullets, so he attached his kukri, you know that sharp edge weapon that you put in front of the gun. So, he attached it, now you can imagine that you are know completely wounded, you are been know shot with bullets, but then you attach kukri go and finally, he stabbed that person with his kukri, both of them died in the process, but then the Indian armed forces, the remaining forces they got the chance to move ahead. What I am trying to say is that there could be situations that you would have never anticipated in your life, you never thought you are competent enough to do that, but then the situation provokes you. So, the situation makes you realize that you also have the competence of performing something. In terms of competence, if you drag know history from mythology, when Hanuman was know asked to go and search for Sita, his team came to know came close to the seashore and people were lost, they didn't know what to do and then there was somebody in his team Jamwan, who made him realize that you have the competence of flying in the air. So, there could be situations like that also in our life, where you are told by others that you are competent enough to do this, there could be situation like these two war veterans, that you yourself realize that I am capable of doing that and you execute the task. From a psychological view point, the completely diametrically opposite side of it would be a situation what is called as learnt helplessness. This is a very common term used in clinical side of psychology, where you deliberately develop a behavior which is self-defeating, but that makes you realize that you are helpless. You cannot perform now, you cannot do anything, given the type of situation you have been put in. Now, this is basically extreme end where you start compromising with what you are actually capable of. So, we have seen again two extremes of it, one where certain things that you had never thought of in your life. Situation comes, you encounter it, you try to face it head on and then you plan a strategy, you execute it, you show that you are competent enough to handle the situation. Second case, where you are not willing to look at your own capabilities and hence you are compromising with your competence, but by and large the very feel that I am competent enough to do this or even many a times realizing and accepting that I do not have the skill to perform this is perfectly okay. It helps you draw lines in your life to say that find these are the things that I will do and these are the things that I am not capable of. Say for example, if you are good at sports, you play badminton very well, you play football very well, you are very good at cricket, you know that find these are my strength, but say if there is a music competition for example, okay. And no people are searching for somebody who can play tabla from this hall of residence, simply no accept that fine I am not good at it. Such type of no realization also make you draw lines that I am not competent for task x, but I am very much competent for task y, okay. So, discriminatability you know that index increases in terms of what I can go ahead with and what are the things that I should I can appreciate, but fine I cannot get involved into doing it. Now the more and more you know you have this sense of adequacy, this sense of competence, higher would be you know the rate of perception of security, okay. You feel you are far more secure. Security you know from a different point of view, if you see research in the area of mental health, where the studies have been you know carried out in disturbed areas, you know like where some type of civil war is taking place, constant social disturbances, okay. Different type of discrimination taking place within the society. If you look at you know the research psychological research on mental health coming from those zones, you would realize that human beings they pay a heavy price for being into situations which are not providing them a sense of security, okay. Even otherwise if you look at the brighter side of our social achievement, say literature, music, dance forms, all types of creative outcomes, you would realize that those societies have really come forward with stuffs like this, which was at peace at a given point in time. So, more and more peace and harmony remains in the society, you find more and more people are engaged in these things compared to when the whole society is put at war or the whole society is at unrest and during unrest you do not find you know creative outcomes coming in, okay. You have the full long engagement of Vietnam with the US forces and you could see what happened in those 10 years in Vietnam, okay. The whole conflict, the continuing conflict between South and the North Korea for example, okay and you could see how much price one has to pay for it. Right now in the Gulf you have you know few countries who have certain degree of instability and you would realize that more and more unstable the social structure is, okay less and less is the creative outcome coming out of the culture, okay. And when you carry out you know research pertaining to certain type of behavioral aberrations or pathological behavior would realize that the number suddenly increases, okay. There are several, several, several research research which proves that this is how things happen. Human beings have to pay a price for you know being in such situations. So, sense of security certainly plays a very, very important role in terms of helping us maintain our level of adjustment, helping us maintain our level of mental balance. Another interesting thing is you know the sense of love and belongingness, you remember last day also we had talked about security and sense of affiliation when we were talking with respect to the Maslow's need hierarchy theory, you know that we have the biological needs first, then the need for security, need for affiliation, self-steam and then self-factualization. So, there also we had the need for security and the need for affiliation. Love and belongingness represents the same thing that you tend to love people and you also want that people should love you. Love and belongingness basically you know makes you also feel secured, you know that there are people who belong to you, okay. And you also know that there are certain things, if you fall in those type of situations then there are people who definitely come to your rescue. So, great degree of you know solace is there, you can very easily know sense in your life that fine there are people in and around me and in at you know during the time of need I will certainly have certain number of helping hands that will be extended to me and this is the reciprocal process. You also know think that fine if there is somebody in need who belongs to me I would also take pride in extending my helping hand to him or her. So, you do not feel know that you are completely isolated, love and belongingness plays that important role. Love and belongingness know also helps you learn several social skills which also have a high degree of you know evolutionary need it satisfies too. For example, the basic feeling of love for human beings will always know help you know take care of people who are not capable of taking care of themselves. For example, you know rearing a child for example, you know when you have very small babies who cannot do anything on their own it is this very tendency that helps you take care of a human baby. Later on when you become parents would realize know that there is certain degree of price that you pay for doing that. It is not that you only love the baby or you only take pride and you derive pleasure in terms of interacting with the baby. Now, the baby would urinate the baby would defecate baby would need all types of attention things which are not pleasant know, but you performed attack. And the whole act is driven by this whole sense of love and belongingness that because I love you because you belong to me and I belong to you hence I provide this care to you. Extend it to the to somebody in the family who is at the terminal end of the life somebody who is extremely old now and is on the death bed. Again you know provide all type of care you are concerned about him or her you take care of that oldest family member of yours who is about to die. Again it is driven by the same sense of love and belongingness that you are my so and so and I am your so and so and hence I provide this care to you because now you have come to a point where your body system does not support you. Love and belongingness again you can extend it to the completely another sphere where you show not only love and belongingness to somebody or for somebody who belongs to your own family, but it could be more and more of a generic type of a love. When you say that I love the mother earth for example, when you say that I have great passion for I love this cause for example, there are even in our own country there are communities who had shown extreme degree of love and belongingness for certain cause for example, Uttarakhand the whole Chipko movement was if you analyze it from this point of view. It is for a great degree of love and belongingness for those green trees and you say that fine we would not allow these trees to be cut. We want to maintain certain degree of greenery around us and we love these trees as much as we love anybody else in our community. There are very interesting dynamics here when you look at love and belongingness from that extended viewpoint. The very fact that you are being loved you belong to people will certainly act as a deterrent in situations when you are about to sing. Because the moment you are sad you are depressed you would realize that there would be people who start humming around you will tell you that fine I do not know why you seem to be in trouble you can share it with us. And especially collectivist culture like ours also is a collectivist culture where even strangers can at times show certain degree of love and belongingness to you. So, that is an interesting side of it in social psychology people read these things from much detailed viewpoint where there would be comparisons between individualistic and collectivist culture where the whole approach of human beings towards the fellow person in the society will definitely get moderated. Because you love and you belong to some people in the society you also seek approval from them. The whole dynamics of human development is somewhere guided by this whole sense of seeking approval. Again look at a small baby growing in a family who is instructed to do something and the baby would seek approval of the elderly members of the family. I am sure you must have seen small babies how they interact with older members in the family. Say small baby who for the first time in his or her life is able to stand up holding some objects. So, a baby who was just crawling suddenly holds a chair and with great effort is able to make his or her body erect stands you know on his or her own foot. And you approve of this behavior is a great you clap you admire that behavior somewhere the human child realizes oh this is a worth doing act. The child will try to repeat it more and more and more and usually you know this behavior such behavior would be repeated in front of others so that every time you approve of it. Similarly, you know when you know advance in your age a bit you go to formal schools and then you are told that these are the doable behaviors. You tend to comply to it because you want to get your behavior approved. Remember your earlier days in your schools when the teacher would come and all of you would be expected to stand and in a very very very rhyming form you say good morning ma'am there is a pattern of it you know and very religiously as a new child you just enter the room this is your first day you do not know what happens when a teacher comes and you see oh this is what happens now. You did not know what to do and therefore you kept sitting on your desk on a chair and then the teacher looks at you oh you do not know what has to be done and next day you know ensure that the moment the teacher enters you would suddenly stand up join this whole crowd in the class and sing the same way you know good morning. This is again no seeking approval in life goes to the extent when you come to class ninth and tenth and your friends your parents friends of your parents some of your teachers tell you that how worthy it is for you to prepare for the joint entrance examination. Many of you who would have otherwise know not thought of j e or would have thought of something else prepared for j e because parents wanted so I am sure in many of these cases know this is the truth you thought of something else and even after coming here know many of you plan things different way but j e was basically you know not your dream but the dream of your parents or say you know implanted dreams implanted dreams means you see Verma G you see Sharma G you say things up know their kids have done this. So, this is an implanted dream therefore you could not think what to do therefore you start looking at others and because you see other children doing this so this dream know you graft on your own self and you say my son should also this my daughter should also do this poor son and daughter they do not have any choice no but to accept it fine. So, if not this then what and you say I do not know I am only in class ninth I do not know what are the possibility therefore I am saying do this and you gradually move in that direction but approval from a very different view point if you see know it plays a very interesting role I am taking a completely different stand now think of a situation where you love somebody and hence you do not know seek the approval of that individual can that be a possibility in life till now what we have been saying that approval is something that we always look forth we always look forward for it we want know that others should approve of my behavior and I would also take pride in approving behaviors of other the whole social system has know been developed like that. If I extend it from individual to a systemic level say there are organizations which are headed by group of people who have the whole responsibility of approving something say for example, know food and drug administration know it is supposed to approve certain types of know drugs and foods whether it is good enough for consumption by civilians or not you have say DGCA know the Directorate General of Civil Aviation they are supposed to regulate the whole know movement in the Indian sky for example, there are all types of authorities which are simply supposed to approve one thing or the other there are committees in your own hall of residence you have committees know which is supposed to approve something. So, we have know systematically know very much appreciated this whole process of approval. Now, let us make a mix I give you an example that I am I might be good at badminton I might be good at football I might be good at cricket, but I might not be good at singing I might not be good at say other performing arts. So, I realize that my competence has certain degree of restriction I am mother of a baby and I love my baby like any other mother fine I am not competent enough to sing I have a bad voice, but if you ask the mothers and they will say that they have been singing lorries for their kids all mothers do that and all babies love the lorries sung by their mother not by mothers of others. So, basically as a grown up individual I do not seek approval from my baby or just my voice is the sound level is my voice quality is it melodious does this song is this song or is that song mother never seeks approval from the baby out of that great degree of love and compassion you sing for your baby and your baby loves it. So, this is an interesting dynamics again you see know that at certain point you realize that you do not seek approval at all and you do not even know look at what you are competent often you are not just the fact that there is a requirement that I should sing for the baby which will make her pleased before she sleeps and therefore, I do not relook at my own voice quality and my other qualities which will prove me to be a great singer I simply sing for the baby that now you can look at human adjustment from this point of view also know that for certain segments you realize that I need not seek approval. Now, the fact that you are driven by certain degree of curiosity in your life the very fact that you understand certain stuffs in life your curiosity helps you understand based on the fact that we have understood certain things you are able to put things in order in your life more and more orderly your life is greater is the degree of productivity you derive a sense of adequacy that I am adequate enough to do certain things my achievements are adequate enough to fulfill my dreams you see in yourself that you are competent enough to achieve certain targets all these things makes you know feel secured know you are loved by others you do have people whom you love in your life people approve of your behavior you also approve of them all this thing happens in your life and then you derive value out of your out of this human survival you feel how valuable it is to lead life like this you see meaning in what you are engaged in in psychology there are no good amount of literature on deriving meaning in life or deriving a sense of meaninglessness in life this would be know completely opposite phenomena we would always know like to have an engagement with things which has certain degree of meaning now what I find meaningful need not be meaningful for you that could also be a situation and hence even though I might be engaged in it you do not approve of such type of engagements because you do not find it meaningful but then there would be certain things that as a know at a larger level the social system know values them and therefore people anticipate that you should certainly you know have these things in you you should certainly try to achieve these things because these are value oriented things from the social view point there would be things that you value personally and hence you would certainly like to achieve them but this whole engagement in this life should have certain degree of meaning at least know you should have come to a point where you say that even though a segment of people do not find meaning in doing these things they consider this to be worthless I still find meaning in doing this right now we will come to it when we would be talking about this whole know value oriented know systems and how they become extremely stringent in terms of evaluating you and therefore many many a things many problems that later on we have in life they basically evolve out of the fact that you consider that your behavior does not fit into the value system that you have been grown with there is a certain degree of incompatibility between the two during world war news appeared in the British newspaper that there is a great degree of scarcity of milk for children in Germany and therefore many children are starving the next day there was a brief ad in the newspaper the British newspapers seeking donation that please donate will buy milk and then export it for the German kids who are not getting sufficient amount of milk and this raised the eyebrows of many, many Britishers know the said that how can know you ask for donation for serving children of the country with which we are fighting war and the man who had given this advertisement came in front and said that fine I have no enemy below 16 remember that I am asking you for a donation to serve human babies know not to serve German babies whether know they live or they die finally know they have they are actually the human babies know let we have divided them into German babies know British babies and then we are engaged in war but these babies they do not know what we are engaged in they are having inadequate supply of the milk for them and therefore as human beings beats are responsibility to show charity to this extent that we know collect stuff for them and then send it back to them so that they get the chance to survive in terms of value in terms of meaning you find people who have contrasting viewpoints right now in Allahabad this kumbh is going on and if you look at the whole set of behavior that people are displaying there many people might not find it meaningful many people find it extremely meaningful there is a phenomena that know people follow there they call it kelp was kelp was is basically for the full month you go on the banks of river Ganges and you stay there you can understand in this chilled weather when the temperature had gone up to 3.5 and 4 degree there are set of people who would certainly we living in tents but they go there they live there for the full month because they find it extremely meaningful that their life has been blessed because they were able to complete this full month of kelp was during the kumbh morning 4 o clock and you realize that people will go and take a holy dip right now for it is going on it will continue for some more time people who derive extreme degree of meaning because in doing such things because they find it value oriented taking a dip in sangham create value attached to it and therefore the whole engagement that you show it has highest degree of meaning for many of us it could not we have that value and this act might seem extremely meaningless at many places know most of these religious places would realize know that people perform certain act for example one such act is before the sun rises you turn towards the east you raise your hand worshipping sign you lie down on the ground from your starting point you extend your hand draw a line so that would be exactly your full length body length plus the raised hand so you put a mark there again you stand there again you worship the sun again you lie down on the ground and you do it till you reach the banks of the river you can understand bare body chilled winter morning in this 3.5 degree temperature hundreds and hundreds of people doing it you come to the river bank you take a holy dip and you stay with folded hands till the sun rises you worship the sun and you come out you say that I have no done the highest service that I could have thought of in my life you show it to somebody who does not value such type of practices will say what type of nonsense is this you are putting your life at stake you are know engaged in meaningless act because know these two set of people have different type of value orientation and therefore, somebody who finds act extremely meaningful somebody does not find it meaningful at all. So, these are again interesting dynamics know of human adjustment and remember one thing that it is always good as human beings when you look at others behavior try to understand behavior before you judge them in its own context know if you take any behavior out of context it might look extremely meaningless say for example, if I am looking at the behavior of this individual who lies down on the ground draws a line covers a distance of few kilometers reaches the river bank takes a holy dip stands know like that with wet body in the river folded hands waiting for the sun to rise. If I take it out of the context and I say what type of act is this even if you would not have followed this ritual even if you would not have stood with folded and sun would have still know come in the east because this is a pure geographical phenomena it has nothing to do with your behavior of worshipping the sun. But if you look at it from the social context point of view then you realize here is a culture where sun is worshipped where sun is worshipped in three forms and this is one of the forms of worshipping sun. And then there are know this is say 10,000 years old ritual that people follow and you say good this is a living culture where tradition lives for thousands and thousands of years you start appreciating such behavior. And therefore, many a behavior which is otherwise classified as meaningless behavior and hence can be used as an indicator of your mental health which can be know used to as a denominator to say that know you fall short in terms of that level of mental health that you should be having. It is always important to look at all behavior from it is social context point of view. So, do not know take an individual or the behavior out of the context otherwise it is completely meaningless even say for example, right now I am talking about it standing in front of you it is if you look at my behavior in this context is makes a sense. But imagine a situation when nobody is there in the room I come here open my laptop and then start talking to the chairs it has no meaning at all you will certainly question my mental health know it will certainly know that my mental balance has now gone in the adverse direction. The moment these chairs are filled with you people it derives a meaning all human engagements have this thing know that therefore, it is always suggested that do not take know any behavior out of the context otherwise you are committing a great mistake. And then the most positive thing that one is always supposed to have in life that you always know have a hope and this is again an interesting propeller it is a fuel that keeps on making you move ahead in your life even though you value certain things you have not been able to come to that level even though you find certain things to be meaningful you have not been able to do things that way. But then you are still hopeful today I have not been able to do that tomorrow definitely I will do it I have not been able to do this my children will certainly be able to do that we all have failed but the next generation you know I will certainly be able to do that these know these are no certain hopes that you know keeps bubbling within all of us. And this helps us know whenever we are in a negative mood state we you know just remain in that state for a smaller period of time. But then we again regain our energy and we again getting engaged in meaningful acts because we are driven by know this hope that one day this will certainly come. And you can have n number of n number of real life stories know where you would realize that people did face the most adverse situation in their life but they were very optimistic and because they were optimistic therefore things succeeded for them two true stories. One story I think it has to do with some war which war I have forgotten but some war perhaps it has to do with again I would not I would not make protection it has to do with some war that was the situation of pilot belonging to the naval forces know. So, pilots with naval forces means that they will take off and they will finally land on a dock of a ship. So, this man know took off from one of the air carriers that their naval force had and mid air he was attacked and in that process he lost his eyesight. So, mid air you are flying a jet and you are blinded that was the situation that he experienced he was constantly given command that you still you are holding that button. So, just press it from the top and your seat will eject out because your flight the tail of it has caught fire your life is in danger and he said that I am blinded I cannot see. So, the commander said that nothing know simply press that eject button because you are still holding the throttle. So, press it your seat will come out and know do not worry we will know save you and this man said that I am still know in hold of everything. So, keep giving me know precise suggestion and I can still land the plane for few seconds this exchange took place when the commander on the ship realized that this man is not going to eject. So, it is better to give him precise instructions so that he can land on the deck. So, they kept on giving him instructions and this blinded pilot could land on the deck of a ship which was in the sea your hope can play such dramatic roles. Another interesting type of a situation know when I think know if you read the stories of people who are into adventure sports. Many of them will tell you know that I would not have survived if I would have left my hope at that point in time know you are caught in a snow clad mountain and you have no other life support system available to you you lived in that situation for two days when you saw a helicopter know searching for you. And how did you survive for those two odd days and you say that there was still a hope know that someone will come. Interesting things you realize know even in comic representations, theaters, movies you would realize know that one generation coming to an end with a hope that now the next generation will certainly do that. Come to one of the hard social realities of our country I will end with that in many places in our country you look at the houses and you will be told that you know this house was built by Mr. X and know throughout his life he lived in a house like this he could know not make a concrete house for himself and his family after retirement he had some money and whatever was left after know marriage education and things like this he could make this but then you know he could not complete the flooring plaster also he could not get it done. Now his son is into job I hope one day this floor will be know will be done now the cementing of the walls will be done and you realize I am sure you must have seen people like that who would tell you the stories know that this house was completed out of the full struggle of two generations two generations three generations and you would still find people who are still struggling to have a house of their own for generations together they have been on the pavement they have been in small hearts but this interesting part of it is that you decide to migrate from one city to a strange city most of our know our development pattern has been such know that the opportunity of growth the opportunity of higher income has been very squidly distributed know economic student will know it much better. So even if you try to work very hard in certain geographical locations you do not have the opportunity to earn whereas in some other geographical location with little effort you can earn more and hence people have know develop this tendency of migrating to such places where there are more opportunities you can earn more but then you realize that people are living in the slums for generations together first generation second generation third generation and then you say my grandfather came here long back 60 years back and my father also was in this slum it is now that I have bought a plot for myself I have bought a flat for myself and you would hear several several several such stories couple of years back I think seven eight nine years back I read in one of the newspaper one person who had qualified the civil services examination that he was from the Dharavi area of Mumbai the slum area of Mumbai and he said that my family had migrated long back to Mumbai for a decent source of funding we lived all together for generations in this slum area when finally my family could make a small room for themselves this very child who was the youngest child of the family I do not remember now how many brother sisters he had but he had few so out of all those know siblings he was the only one whom the family realized was intelligent enough and therefore what they did was that the family had one room so they had put some barrier now in the air within the room so that they create a double-decker room type of a thing this boy was always asked to go to the top so that he can know completely be involved in his studies and while he used to study on the lower side of the room everybody used to keep silent no cooking no television nothing the whole family for hours altogether will keep quiet and sit there as if they are mourning this boy when he finally qualified the civil services exams he said that it is not me who has qualified the exam it is my family who has qualified the exam for years can you believe that a whole family a set of seven eight members keeps quiet for hours and hours because one member of the family has to study now but this is the hope you remember no this is the collective hope of the whole family that this boy will certainly knows change the whole way of our life and therefore we all he can study therefore allow him to study we can keep quite so let us keep quiet and facilitate his studies our hope within that know love and belongingness angle people whom you love you belong to you think know that you can share certain hope and therefore the whole behavior that is displayed within the family within the society can get tape so with this we have completed our discussion on maintenance needs tomorrow when we meet we will be talking about some other process which is important for human adjustment.