 That title of my sermon today is The Father of Choice. So coming back to this, Matthew 1, 18 through 25. It says this. Now the birth of Jesus Christ happened this way. While his mother Mary was engaged to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be pregnant through the Holy Spirit. Because Joseph, her husband-to-be was a righteous man, and because he did not want to disgrace her, he intended to divorce her privately. And when he had contemplated this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife because the child conceived in her is of the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son in your name, birth to a son and you will name him Jesus because he will save his people from their sins. This all happened so that what was spoken by the Lord through the prophet would be fulfilled. Look, the virgin will conceive and give birth to a son and they will name him Emmanuel, which means God with us. Verse 24, when Joseph awoke from sleep, he did what the angel of the Lord told him. He took his wife, but did not have marital relations with her until she gave birth to a son who he named Jesus. So we see here, Joseph, he's getting ready to get married to Mary. And he finds out in the process, uh-oh, she's pregnant. Now, I just want you to realize, Joseph here, he has a dilemma. Joseph has a dilemma because the woman that he is engaged to is having a son that is not his. He's got something that's happening in his life, a circumstance that is very difficult. Many of us here would see this as a crisis. I know I would if I was put into position and the woman that I thought I was gonna marry all of a sudden has a child or is having a child while I'm in the process of marrying her. And I know that child's not mine. That gets kind of difficult, would you agree? So he has a dilemma. And you know what's so interesting about Joseph is that in his dilemma, in his crisis, his responses are out of the ordinary. At least what we would see in today's society, his response is out of the ordinary. Because when it comes to betrothal, which is actually what this process is called, in Jewish custom, I know here in America we talk about engagement, but a betrothal is a much more serious contract than an engagement ring when it comes to getting married. A betrothal is like a 12 month contract that a couple goes into and the couple's parents are involved and it's a 12 month process to ensure that the woman is pure before getting into the relationship. 12 months, because at that point you're gonna know whether or not she has a baby. And so here in the process, he finds out, uh-oh, I have a crisis. And how many of you guys know that it's crisis that oftentimes really shows what our true character is? It's crisis that pulls out the real us. It's like when you put a tea bag into hot water, that's when the tea comes out. The real substance comes out. It's like when you squeeze a tube of toothpaste, the pressure causes the substance to come out. And we even know the Bible says it's not what goes into a man that defiles him, but it's what comes out of him. So here we're seeing a very unordinary response from Joseph. Pressure's on, crisis is at hand. What is he gonna do? And this is what he does. It's so unexpected. In this development of his relationship, he has an unexpected thing. There's a child developing in his soon to be wife's stomach. And in this situation, this is what it says here in the scripture, because he was a righteous man, he did not want to disgrace her. He intended to divorce her privately. One of the things that we see when Joseph is in crisis, the way he responds is way better than I probably would have responded. I don't know about you. We see a man who's in control and control of himself. Now, if any of us would be in a situation, we find out we've been cheated on or we think we've been cheated on. Response is gonna be not nice. It's not gonna be good, but you see a man here who even in the midst of crisis, he has the capacity to contemplate. The scripture says this, that he contemplated how he was gonna do it. And he chose to do it privately. Now, you've got to understand in Jewish custom, if a woman is found to be unpure and she breaks the contract, you have the right in cultural custom, you have the right to stone her publicly, to make a disgrace of her. But in this moment, instead of doing that, even before he knew, because some of you are like, well, yeah, he knew it was the son of God. No, before he even had the dream, he already decided in his heart, I'm gonna do this privately. This is really difficult, it hurts, but I'm gonna do this so I don't disgrace her. For men, here today, there's a powerful lesson that we can learn. And I wanna encourage us because I believe there are men here today that have character. There are men here today that have substance. There are men here today who can be calm and collected and controlled when crisis hits. Another thing is this. We see that there was an uncharacteristic way of handling this because of the disgrace that could have came on Mary. He knows that if he would have done this publicly, that pretty much at that point, game over for Mary for the rest of her life. If he had chose not to take this child as his, pretty much for the rest of her life, she would not be able to get married. Nobody would wanna marry her. Nobody would wanna dare touch that situation because of Jewish culture. It's not like today where it's a lot more widely accepted. In Jewish culture, if you have a child and it's presumed to be out of wedlock, you're pretty much damaged goods. People are not gonna, people are not going to pay attention to you. She would be in poverty. She'd be in lack and she'd have no covering. So the decision that he makes, honestly, it takes a man who is secure. It takes a man who is so secure and who he is to be able to make a decision that is selfless even when this situation is against him. It feels against him. It is a direct pain to his heart. And we see another thing, an uncommon decision. Joseph, like I said, he had this right, but he was a righteous man. He chose compassion. He chose mercy over punishment. I've come to realize that in life, every single one of us men, every single one of us fathers here, how many fathers do we have here today? We're all faced with dilemmas. Maybe it's not the same as the one that Joseph has, but we're all faced with dilemmas that are challenging and that they pull out our true substance. Every man has a good reason today, good reason to not do the right thing. But I know that today we have righteous men in this house this morning. There's a war on men in this generation. Society tells you to be weak. They tell you that good fathers don't exist anymore. Society tells us to be passive men and that Satan wants you to be tolerant of sin, to step away from the God-given role as a man. We have machismo, culture, that teaches you to be a belligerent jerk. And we have feminazi ideology that tells you to be a spineless, weak man. But what makes a man great, what makes a father great is his ability to take the higher ground in the face of adversity. Do you hear me this morning, church? I believe that God is looking for men. God is looking for fathers who will take the higher ground even when there's an easy way out. Even when the situations don't look right, I believe God made men tough. He made us tough in the capacity to make tough decisions. And this is why he's called us to be the priests of the home. It's not so we can lord our power over people, but the scripture says in Ephesians 5, 25 that we are to submit to one another in Christ, in reverence to Christ. So the man, he gives you the responsibility to be the priests of the home because you have the toughest decision to make, which is to be the first one to lead in submission. To be the first one to make a hard decision, even when dilemmas are at your door, when crisis is causing you to have to make decisions that are not favorable. Fathers, listen to me. Listen to my words. Christ entrusts you with some of the most difficult decisions that do not favor you. And it will be your honor to do it for his namesake. It will be your honor to do it for his namesake. We have been given tough decisions. Men have tough decisions to make, but we won't care what culture says. We won't care if they call us misogynistic, if they call us outdated, if they call us sexist or abusive. We won't care because we will do what is right for our families, even if culture ostracizes us. Amen. We have a dilemma, but God is looking for the father of choice. God has chosen you today. You may feel like an ordinary man. I bet you anything Joseph felt like an ordinary man, but God deemed him worthy to be a father to his own son. God deemed him worthy to be a father to his own son. Maybe today you feel ordinary. Maybe today you don't feel qualified, but let me tell you something. You are not a father by accident. God has deemed you worthy. God has deemed you trustworthy. Oh, come on. That is good news. God, fathers, God has deemed you worthy to be able to make tough decisions. Society will tell you, oh yeah, that's tough. There's a lot of things that, you know what? You know what is all of this whole thing is just too difficult. Right now, life is difficult. Situations are difficult. You know, economy and things like this. It's just really hard to be a dad in today's society. Nobody really cares about dads anymore. And so it's really easy to just kinda brush it off, but no, even if the world looks down upon fathers, we live in a fatherless generation. And so the view of fathers is very low. The view of fathers is very skewed. And it's really hard for a righteous man, for a righteous father to live in this society, but you have been given this responsibility and you've been entrusted because God sees something in you to be able to be a father. My question this morning is what is your dilemma? My question this morning for you is what kind of character is being revealed out of you when times are tough? Not when everything's going smooth, because when everything's going smooth, it's really good to do all the right things. But when things are not going well, what kind of character is being pushed out of you? What's being revealed? And I wanna encourage you, make tough decisions. Make tough decisions for your family. Do the right thing. Be strong. Be compassionate. Choose mercy over punishment. Choose compassion. Choose to take on burdens that maybe nobody would get on your case if you didn't. But be the kind of man that has integrity that will take on burdens, that will take on challenges that are tough. Amen. Not only did Joseph have a dilemma, but we see in the verses after that, he has a dream. And this dream of his, I'm gonna read to you again, verses 20 through 23. When he had contemplated this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream. Joseph, son of David, don't be afraid to take Mary as your wife because the child conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son and you will name him Jesus because he will save people from their sins. All this has happened so that what was spoken of the Lord through the prophet would be fulfilled. And look, the virgin will conceive and give birth to a son and they will name him Emmanuel, which means God with us. You know, this dream that Joseph had it answered two questions. The first one being whose child is this? And the second, who is this child? Whose child is this? And the second question, who is this child? You know, when it comes to being a father, I think there's some big lessons that we can even learn. And I just wanna encourage you with this thought. As a father, whether how you came into being a father, whether you felt like it was a favorable circumstance or not, I wanna encourage you that God wants to give you a dream for your children. God wants to give you a dream. Now, oftentimes when we think about dreams, we're talking about the dream that I have. See, a man can have a dream for his life, but it takes a father to have a dream for his children. Did you hear me this morning? It's not enough just for a man to have a dream for his own aspirations, but what makes a father is a man who can have a dream for somebody else. And I wanna read to you this. I wanna come back to this scripture here. He begins to realize, this is a child of God. Fathers, I wanna remind you that your children, while they might be your children, maybe physically they're your children, maybe adopted they are children, but ultimately they are children of God. And your job as a father is to steward that relationship. You know, it makes a whole big difference. It's a whole different perspective when you father not as this is my son, but when you father as this is God's son. There's a whole different level of responsibility that you're willing to take. There's a whole different motivation by what you do because this is not my child. It might be mine physically, but this is God's son. This is God's daughter. It's my job to take care of them. It's my job to steward them well, to train them in the ways of the Lord. It's my job. God will hold me accountable for how I raised my children. I wanna encourage you fathers that you are stewards. You are stewards of God's children. You have a responsibility. God has deemed you worthy of the responsibility. And second is who is this child? God revealed to him in a dream through an angel of the Lord that this is the son of God. This is Emmanuel. This is Jesus. Jehovah our salvation, Jesus. The name Jesus means Jehovah is our salvation. This is the Messiah that has been prophesied about. And it becomes clear to Joseph that this is no ordinary child. This is not just anybody. This is a child with a purpose. This is a child with a vision. This is a child who has a destiny. And God didn't tell Mary to name the child. He told Joseph, Joseph, you're gonna name your son Jesus. Which means Jehovah is salvation. I think there's an important truth there that we can pull from. That as a father, we have the responsibility to see and dream for our children. To have a dream for our children. To begin to see for them the destiny and call forth greatness out of them. God has given us children and these children have purpose. They have destiny designed by God. And it's our responsibility to call it forth as a father. Even psychiatrists have recognized that a father plays the primary role and whether or not a child feels loved. The deep questions of the soul. A father answers this question for a child. Am I loved? Am I worthy? Am I desirable? Do I have purpose? Is my life meaningful? Psychiatrists have figured it out that a father plays the primary role. And this is why we see in today's society such a huge issue with identity. I don't know if I'm a man or a woman because we have children who were not told who they are. They have children who grew up without having a reality that I'm loved. That I have purpose, that I have meaning, that this is who you are. And so we have people who are looking for love in all the wrong places. We have people who are confused about who they are. And what their purpose is. God is calling us forward as dads. We have a great responsibility. I hope this is encouraging to you because I know there are righteous men in this room who make tough decisions and who are good fathers. And we are gonna stand up and we're gonna pull out greatness in our children. We're gonna speak life. You know, one of the things that I do with my kids every night is I pray with my kids. I've made a habit of this because I understand this principle that it's my job as the father to call forth greatness. Every night before bread, every single night. I come in when I pray with them, I speak to them first and I say to their face I have them look me in the eyes and I tell my daughter Mila and she's four years old. I'm starting at young. I tell my daughter Mila, every night before she goes to bed you're a prophetess to your generation. I tell her every night before you go to bed you're going to bring healing and hope to many people. You're going to bring life and you're gonna speak the name of Jesus. And I tell to my son, I go to his bedside and I say Noah, you are a pastor. You're a shepherd. You're a speaker of the truth and you will stand up for what is right. You will hold justice and mercy in your hands. I speak this over my children because I understand the principle that I have as a father to speak identity, to speak truth over my children. It's my responsibility. It's your responsibility fathers to be that voice in a world that is screaming all sorts of confusion and chaos to be the voice of truth, the voice of identity. Fathers, you have a hard, you have a hard job because people don't recognize you. Same way with Joseph, you know, people rarely even recognize Joseph in this story. It's always about Mary and about Jesus. Everybody forgets about Joseph, you know? And how true is that about the good fathers? We only hear about the bad dads. We only hear about the fathers that were abusive. We only hear about the fathers that are jerks. But us good dads, nobody pays attention. It's like we get overlooked, we get forgotten. Oh yeah, you know, oh yeah, that's, oh yeah, you're there. Yeah, thanks, thanks, you know? And what we do is not even appreciated to the fullest in all the dads said, amen. But that's okay because we know our task. We know our responsibility. We know that God has entrusted us with a great task. So are you calling forth greatness? And thirdly, Joseph had decisions that he made. I want us to look, not only did he have a dream, but at the end of this dream, Joseph made decisions that were honorable. Things that he set for by example, even before Jesus could see it, he was already setting an example. First thing was obedience to the Lord. We see that Joseph was obedient. He heard the vision, he heard the message from the angel of the Lord and he was obedient to it. It says that he did take her as a wife, even though taking her as a wife was going to be at his own detriment. For the rest of his life, he was gonna be kind of recognized as maybe someone who got his wife pregnant before marriage. Because people are, because he chose to protect Mary, it meant that now the shame is gonna be pointed at him because people aren't gonna understand. People aren't gonna know. He chose to protect her knowing that it would come on him. And he was obedient. He was obedient to do so. John 14, 15 says if you love me, obey my commandments. And God is not looking for just a sacrifice. He's looking for obedience for Samuel 15, 22. When we are obedient, we're sending an example. Fathers, are we being obedient to the Lord? To be a true father, to be a father of choice. Again, like I said, Joseph is a great example. He was a father of choice for Jesus. Are we obedient to the Lord? Are we showing obedience to our kids? See obedience in us. Not just to the law, but also to the Lord. And we also see in Joseph, another great characteristic, another great decision, delayed gratification. You may have not really realized this, but it says this, that he waited until Jesus was born to have marital relations with his wife. Now imagine this, you get married, and you wait a whole year to make things happen. That's okay, you can laugh. You wait a whole year to make things happen. That takes a lot of discipline, especially when it was his right. But he delayed gratification because think about the ramifications. You might be brushing past this, but think about the ramifications. If he would have had marital relations with his spouse too early, it would have destroyed the testimony that this is a miraculous birth. He had a vision and he had a mission. And in that vision and mission, there was delayed gratification on his part. Not only did the plan not favor him, but there was delayed gratification. Men, how often are we delaying our gratification? Are we putting our golf clubs up so that way we can be with the family, spend time with our kids, sow the right seeds, speak the right words? Are we taking the time to be with our kids? Are we delaying certain gratifications so that way we can be the foes that we need to be? Another thing is we see he exercised faith and courage. The one of the things that the angel of the Lord used to convince Joseph was he used prophecy. He said, this is what the prophet said. Look, I'm gonna conceive a son, he's gonna be born of miraculous birth, of virgin birth. If Joseph didn't know prophecy, if he didn't know the scripture, then it would have been really hard to do what God had asked him to do. It would have been really hard to have the faith that this is truly the son of God. Do you follow me this morning? As men, we can't just be men who are obedient, we can't just be men who do tough things, but we have to be men who do tough things by faith. Because doing things tough alone will just burn you out. It's the reason why you don't like doing tough things because it burns you out. But when you have scripture, when you know what is coming forward, you know what the scripture said, you know what prophecy was revealing, you know the passages that were said, then what happens is it gives you faith to believe in a tough circumstance. It gives you the faith and the courage to do the things that nobody else wants to do. And so he had faith and he had courage. And the faith and the word are connected. Hearing comes by the word of God, right? Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God. If Joseph, I believe that if Joseph didn't know prophecy, it would have been potentially a different story. And lastly, he was a man of worship. Luke 2-41 through 42 says every year, Jesus' parents went to Jerusalem for the Passover festival. And when Jesus was 12 years old, they attended the festival as usual. Catch that, as usual. Every year they went as usual. It's obvious in Joseph's life that he was a regular attender. He was a regular attender of church or of he was a regular worshiper of God. It was part of his life. It was as usual. It wasn't just like some one big, you know, time of year, oh, it's Christmas and Easter service so I gotta go to church. No, as usual, he was there. And imagine what that did for Jesus. Imagine just the example that Jesus got to see, a man worshipping God. Now we know Jesus is God and you know there's a little bit of a different story there but it's still the same principle. We still see a man who is raising his children, worshiping God, leading by example. I wanna read to you this little story. Did you hear about the little boy who was playing on a Sunday morning while his dad was in the lounge chair reading the paper? Son, get yourself ready for church. Are you coming to church today with me, dad? No, I'm not coming but I want you to hurry up and get ready. The little boy said, did you used to go to church when you were a boy, dad? And he replied, I most certainly did, so get ready. As the boy walked away, he mumbled, yeah, and I bet it won't do me any good either. It's true that our kids are watching us. It's true that our kids are paying attention to our actions, our examples. What happens when hard times hit, how do we respond? What comes out of us? You can't blame society, you can't blame things around you. To be a righteous man of God, God has entrusted you with tough decisions and you'd be the priest of your home. He has called you to stand up, to rise up in the face of adversity, even if it's at your detriment because you know why you're doing it. You know that you're not doing it just because you're trying to suffer or that you have a death wish on your life. You are doing it because you understand what the prophecy said. You understand what the scripture says. You understand what God has for you and you have faith believing in the work that you're doing as a father. A father is a selfless task. A father takes work. A father protects his family. A father works hard. And he does so because he understands this is not my son, this is God's son. I'm gonna speak life, I'm gonna speak truth and I'm gonna be an example in my life. I'm gonna be the father of choice. Do we have any fathers here today that say I'm gonna be the father of choice? Thanks for watching this sermon. If this was a blessing to you, would you let me know in the comments below what stood out to you from this message? What are you taking home with you from this message? Also, if you enjoy these messages, would you help us and hit thumbs up to this video and subscribe to our channel so you can get new videos every single week delivered to you on your YouTube app. If you go to hungrygen.com forward slash sermons, you'll actually be able to download the transcript, the notes and the quotes of this sermon and the rest of all of our sermons free of charge. Until next time.