 Ahoy-hoy and welcome to the channel. I'm dr. Samarian not a real doctor and today we are going to do a reading of a scp that I recently wrote for the goblin con I Guess goblin contest would be easier to say There's a contest going on to fill out a few slots that well wiki dot broke and those slots were kind of bugged out and They're holding a contest to fill them back up and I put up an entry into one of them I'm gonna go ahead and read it right now. I also my co-author on this work was emotional entropy And you will actually hear a little bit of her later Item number scp 5257 object class Euclid special containment procedures Information relating to larger groups exposing scp 5257's effects will be handled by Marshall Carter and dark's own misinformation campaigns Given the embarrassment caused by this anomaly becoming publicly known It is believed that Marshall Carter and dark can be trusted to contain all information relating to the anomaly Scp 5257's effects are explainable on an individual basis through mundane means and do not require additional containment measures Marshall Carter and dark Thaumaturges are currently working on a cure for scp 5257 The organization has agreed to inform the foundation when that project is completed So this object may be reclassified as an inactive anomaly Description scp 5257 is a viral Thaumatological effect that causes individuals to defecate when they experience severe anxiety relating to expected harm scp 5257 related defecation will occur regardless of the contents of an individual's bowels The source of the fecal matter that is produced by this effect is currently unknown But does match the DNA of the producing individual scp 5257 appears to only affect individuals employed by Marshall Carter and dark and spreads through physical contact Given that the effect is only triggered during periods of extreme stress Relating to threats of physical harm. It's currently unknown How many agents of Marshall Carter and dark are under the effects of this anomaly the anomaly was first discovered following a joint foundation? global occult coalition and Marshall Carter and dark assault on a chaos insurgency safe house in 2021 several agents from all involved organizations were injured during medical treatment immediately following the firefight Mercenaries employed by Marshall Carter and dark were found to be wearing adult diapers that were soiled at first This was not understood as an anomaly, but eventually information relating to the anomaly was relayed to foundation medical staff in order to provide better care After scp 5257 was properly designated and risks relating to its spread were identified the scp foundation Began a project to identify as much information as possible about how and why scp 5257 was created a collection of extant documents was searched and new documents were sought and recovered show initial documents initial report author Lana Fuentes I Notice that several of our customers have complained about fear relating to robberies that are occurring in New York City as of late I don't know for certain how credible this fear is, but I think we can possibly exploit this fear for a new product There are a number of potential solutions, but I'm going to leave most of the details up to R&D They seem somewhat excited about the possibilities and I know for a fact that you can't replicate passion for a project Gonna put mr. Sterling in his project lead He seemed extremely eager to get started corporate has been on my case for months about micromanaging my team So I'm gonna step back and see how he performs should be good show research records author Adam Sterling Real-world testing is not promising and vulnerability and super strength actually increase the casualty numbers certainly for the robber But it turns out if you give an untrained person super strength They don't act fast enough to avoid death for their companions And that's the real issue if we make the customer able to fight back the death of walking partners and even innocent bystanders goes up By over 174% one guy was even still overpowered by two guys He came out of an unharned because he was temporarily invulnerable, but he was still beaten and robbed It also hurt quite a bit. I'm told Muggings also don't happen nearly as often as I was led to believe in New York We provoked each of the test robber used to a variety of incentives in hexes I wanted to make sure these were real-world circumstances, so I worried that the data is flawed due to the use of magic I'm gonna dig a little deeper on how the spells work before I give up on the methods though We had one fairly promising outlier one of our researchers was robbed independent of the test and he shit himself The rubber was so overcome by the smell and weirdness I suspect that he left the scene without further incident I'm gonna order some tests in this area and see how it works research report 21 author Adam Sterling Tweaking the spell has been fun a line change here a slightly different intonation here And it works just differently enough for me to test it for additional efficacy In fact, there was an error in our transcription during the last test The defecation occurred even though the user didn't have anything in his digestive tract I'm used to coding but honestly I've been learning quite a lot about how similar those two fields really are I'm gonna keep the bugged spell and I think it might be our final version Research report 26. We've run over a hundred tests I know I'm gonna have to defend this eventually so I need to be sure Defecation is definitely the way to go it decreases the risk of casualties to both the primary user and bystanders by over 93% Nothing else comes close. I hope that the higher-ups appreciate what this data represents show additional implications Memo number two sender her asm call recipient Lana Fuentes How much do you know about the anti-mugging project? I was reviewing the budget and it appears that R&D is used up 11% of their yearly funding on the development of a single magical spell I don't know exactly why or how that was necessary. It's just a few lines of intonation I'll trust you to figure out what's going on if I got a run interference with senior management I will but please look into this immediately Memo three sender Lana Fuentes recipient Adam Sterling I just found out from my boss that used 11% of the R&D budget in less than two weeks for a single spell Call me as soon as you get this message. This is serious The following phone conversation was acquired by Foundation Telecommunication AIs Caller one Lana Fuentes MCND's New York City branch vice president of product development Caller two Adam Sterling member of the MCND research and development team caller three horizon call and Head of the New York City branch of MCND Okay, first off. I want to apologize Don't apologize. Just explain this to me be detailed right the initial tests weren't promising. You've seen the data, right? I have I get that okay Well, Tim got robbed in the subway and then he should himself and it worked So we thought we'd try and see if it would work for us and Gave us a 93% lower chance of physical harm and an 89% lower chance of the robbers taking our stuff That was the best idea we came up with Okay, but who are we supposed to market this to I don't I don't I don't really understand Who the fuck is going to be buying this Lana if you don't mind I'd like to cut it I think what Lana is trying to say is that any reasonable person look at your idea and realize that we can't sell This to a high-end client. Oh, I I actually did consider that that's why I wanted as much data as possible to back up the product Your data doesn't change the fact that we can't sell this to anyone. Okay. Yeah. No. No, I get that now I just thought maybe I could change your minds So you knew this would be a problem and you spent 45 million dollars to test a spell that makes you shit yourself Yes, ma'am. I know it's hard to I interpret my tone because my voice is being directly into your head at high volume But I am very disappointed in you personally. I had high hopes for you in this company Actually, I should apologize mr. Sterling. I don't think that we will be retaining your services This is the kind of mistake that is going to be extremely troubling to explain to the partners and frankly You've shown a lack of self-awareness and common sense here sold my house in LA and just moved my family out here We have a blood contract. I Think it's reasonable to say this is for cause so the contract you signed with me isn't valid long if you'd handle the severance Understand you are still under the effects of the non-disclosure spell. Keep your work here. Lana. I'm sorry This won't happen again or work here Confidential or you forfeit your eternal soul security is already outside your office They'll wait while you gather your things and escort you outside You do not have to do this but her asm call has authorized me to offer you six months severance pay to ease your transition memo 13 sender Adam Sterling recipient Lana Fuentes Hi Lana your security guy wasn't able to recognize my spell foci So I went ahead and took the spell home with me It wasn't hard to tweak it my background is encoding But the bug we had earlier taught me that spells just use wands and portals instead of ones and zeros tell Tim I'm sorry. I had to use him as a vector But honestly, he was going to shit himself in those circumstances anyway, and I knew his morning routine before work pretty well Turns out another organization appreciates me a lot more than you ever did I'm only sir. I didn't get to see your face when you shit yourself It should be noted that Adam Sterling was among the injured agents taken prisoner during the 2021 assault on the chaos Insurgency safe house at the time of the raid the subject's importance to MCND was unknown He was surrendered to their custody at their request At this point Adam Sterling began to display scp 5257 symptoms given his likely faded MCND custody It is unknown if this was related to the anomaly or if it was a natural reaction And uh, yeah, that's it. I had an idea For I don't know it's it's you know, this is the kind of thing as I people are like I can't believe you would come up with something so silly, but um, sometimes silly works. I think but yeah, it was um the idea was that Marshall Carter and dark's product development team Would essentially screw up and come up with something that technically works, but is impossible to sell Uh, someone in the comments actually came across Something I hadn't considered and that because I hadn't considered it Marshall Carter and dark never considered it But if they just tweaked it a little bit They could make it so that the robber is the one who shits themselves Which would be a perfectly reasonable way to get the same and probably even more effective effect So I'm definitely going to have to write that into some future work. But anyway, that's it Thank you very much for watching If you enjoyed the video hit the subscribe button hit the notification bell next to that So you're notified when I upload new videos and then head on over to patreon.com Ford slash D samurian and pledge at any level like everybody here on the screen already has Including zinjeriki who has pledged at a hundred dollars It's nice to know that I'm not alone out here and I will see you all again on thursday