 Okay, so you want to be loved and cherished and valued by a great awesome guy and you want him to think of you as that one special woman that he wants to have in his life. You want to be his priority, you want him to have eyes for you and only you, but no matter what you do, no matter how much effort you put in, it seems like there's always something more that you need to prove. In fact, he might even be pulling away further and further and not even recognizing or appreciating everything that you put into the relationship. That's why today, I'm going to be talking about why you must stop trying to prove your worth for a man to really see your value. And I'm going to teach you about what it looks like when you're trying to prove your worth and what you should do instead if you really want a man to see your value. My name is Matthew Coast and welcome to Commitment Connection. If this is your first time here and make sure that you subscribe and if you like the work that I do, make sure that you go and check out and get my entire program for free at theforeverwomanformula.com. Okay, so there's something I want you to hear and I want you to pay very attention to this and just listen to this very closely and remember it. Go to star next to it, write it somewhere so that you see it every day. People who believe that they're valuable, they don't try to prove that they're valuable. And now this may seem like a contradiction or it may seem shocking to some people, but if you believe that you're valuable, you don't try to prove it. It's only people who don't believe that they're valuable, who try to prove that they are. Because if you feel like you're valuable already, there's no reason to prove it. So men don't value women who try to prove that they're valuable. They value women who know their own value. And so if you're trying to prove your value, you're coming from a space of fear and lack and insecurity and those things kill attraction and love instead of building it up and making it grow. It's more likely to feel like you're valuable if you do not try to prove it. Remember that. Again, also if you're here and you're watching this right now, make sure you say hi in the chat and let us know where in the world you're watching this from. It's really cool to see all these women all over the world watching these live streams. So thank you for being here. So proving your value to a man is kind of like a treadmill. It doesn't matter how fast you go. It doesn't matter how much effort you put into it and it doesn't matter how long you're there. You never actually get anywhere with it. Whenever you try to prove yourself, you'll always find that there's always something more. There's always a new level. You can never be perfect enough. You can never do enough. And it's like being on a treadmill. It doesn't matter how much you do. You're not going anywhere. So the more effort and the longer you take to prove yourself, the more you'll realize one day that it didn't get you anywhere that you wanted to go and there's always more to prove no matter what you've already done. So stop trying to prove your value. But Matt, what is trying to prove your value even look like? I get women all the time who ask me this question. So anytime that you try to get a man to see your value, you say things or you do things or you behave in a way so that he'll see your value, that is trying to prove your value. So things like trying to impress him with your job or convincing him that you're good together or that you'd make a great partner or a great mother or a great date or overly texting him, complimenting him or smothering him in any way in an attempt to show him how much you really care about him or planning all the dates and becoming the social planner of his life or making friends with his friends and his family to show him just how much you really fit in together and how your lives are just perfect for each other or taking photos of the two of you together and then trying to put those photos in front of him whenever you can so that he sees the two of you together and will think of you more. Or how about this one, committing yourself completely to him before he commits to you to show him how serious you really are about the relationship that you might not even really have yet together, right? I hear women that tell me they do that all the time. Or putting all of your needs on the back burner and doing anything and everything that he wants or you think that he wants to show how devoted and dedicated you really are to him in making things work or how about having no preferences, likes or dislikes and just going along with whatever he wants with no opinion on things because you don't want to rattle the boat at all, right? You want it? I'm perfect for you. I'm perfect for you, right? Or allowing your boundaries to be broken by him, that's another huge one. Having no standards, no boundaries and not screening and qualifying him. So that is what it looks like to try to prove your value to a guy. If you get what I'm talking about right now, make sure you say, I get it in the chat. If you don't get what I'm talking about, go ahead and post your questions and I will answer them once I get done with the rest of what I'm about to talk about. So principles to remember about being valued by a man. If you're coming from a place of feeling unworthy, you will end up allowing into your life people who are going to treat you like garbage. This is something called the law of belief transference. It's something that I've created, the law of belief transference, which basically this law states that whenever you're around, two people around each other, whoever has the strongest belief system about something will transfer that belief system to whoever's around them. If you believe deeply that you're not very valuable, it doesn't matter how much he believes that you're valuable, eventually he will take on this belief that you aren't that valuable, which is why it's so absolutely important to make sure that you first believe that you're valuable. Otherwise, it won't end up working out. So number two, second principle is if you try to prove to someone that you're worthy, it'll actually do the opposite and make that person value you less. So my entire program, the forever woman is all about how someone acts who believes that they're valuable because that is how someone values you. So you have to behave. I'm going to talk about communicating your value here in a moment, but if you're trying to prove that you're valuable, like I've said, it does the exact opposite. So stop doing it because if you do absolutely nothing, if you're in a situation and a guy and you start thinking to yourself, oh, I need to prove this. I need to prove to him that I'm worthy. It's even a subconscious thing because a lot of women, they're so caught up in it, they don't even realize that they're doing it. But let's say you catch yourself and you're like, I'm doing that behavior because I'm trying to prove it to him. And so you're far better. He's far more likely to believe that you're valuable if you don't do anything at all than if you try to prove that you're valuable. So the next one is three, be with someone who sees your value from the beginning. He doesn't need to be head over heels in love with you initially because that can grow over time and most women aren't attracted to men who are head over heels in love with them from the very beginning. I mean, sometimes that does happen, but that's a whole nother topic altogether. But you don't want to be fighting an uphill battle, right? You don't want to meet some guy and fight an uphill battle with him trying to make him see your value. You start out like if we have a scale of one to 10 in how much he values you and how attracted he is to you and how much he likes you, you don't want to start at like a one through four, right? Because then you have to build that up and it's not there from the beginning and so that becomes really, really difficult. And sometimes it doesn't even work at all because it's like how are you really going to be around him that much if he's not that interested in you in the first place. And so what you want is you want to find a guy who's at least like a six or seven and seeing your value, right? He actually he's doing things. He pursues you. He's interested in you. Maybe he's not totally sure about you yet, but he definitely likes you and he definitely thinks that you're different or interesting or amazing and he wants to get to know you better and he wants to pursue you. And that's where you want to start, right? That's ideally where you want to start because if you start there, then it's really easy to show your personality and for him to start feeling like you're more and more and more valuable by him investing in doing all the things that I talk about in the Forever Woman program, which you can get for free by the way if you don't have it yet, make sure you go to the foreverwomanformula.com and once he starts seeing your value and he starts realizing it, it'll it'll start growing. If you're doing all the things that I talk about in that program, he will start seeing your value more and more his interest in you, his love for you will grow. He'll start making you more of a priority in his life. He'll start having eyes for you and only you and doing all those things that you want him to do for you. And so make sure that you have that program and that you're doing it and you're starting with someone who sees your value from the beginning, maybe not a 10, but at least high up there. Next is focus on seeing your own value first. And the way that you do this is that you consciously choose beliefs that you have that tell you that you're valuable, right? So we talk to ourselves all the time. I talk to myself all the time. Sometimes I wonder if I'm talking to myself on these live streams and nobody else is there before I look at the comments. I'm like, have I just been talking to myself this entire time? I mean, I could just be talking in my mics totally off. Anyway, the point is, is that we all talk to ourselves, right? Like we all talk to ourselves all the time. And if you're sitting there thinking, I don't talk to myself, that's that right there is proof that you're talking to yourself. So we all talk to ourselves and it's important to not not like fight against or try to control or get rid of negative thoughts, but to just let them go, right? Like don't hold on to them. Don't give them value. Don't make them worthy of your time and your attention. Just if you have a negative thought, a thought that belittles you or a thought that that says that you're not valuable or whatever, just just let it go out of your mind and instead start choosing the belief systems and the thoughts that you actually want to have. And I talk more about that in the forever woman program as well. And you want to start looking for evidence that shows that you're actually valuable to men. So what is it that makes you valuable, right? Like what, how, how do you bring value to the world? How do you bring value to men? How do you bring value to life, right? Like what, what makes you a valuable person and just think about that. Just spend some time thinking about that and create a sheet and start writing it down and start recognizing your own value. Start recognizing where you're good at things and, and how you, you bring value to other people's lives and maybe even talk to people about it and just ask them like, you know, like what, what, you know, and it might seem kind of weird and if you don't have the right kind of friends, it might not necessarily work, but you could just ask people and be like, Hey, you know, like what, you know, what do you enjoy about having me around, right? Or, or, you know, like what, how do you, what do you enjoy about our conversations or what do you enjoy about us going and doing these things that we do together, you know, like just ask people about those kinds of things and see what they have to say, right? And if you have good friends, a lot of times they'll tell you, they'll tell you things that they appreciate about you and that, that make them care about you and, and that, that can be a really good thing for you to know and write down and remember and just be like, yeah, you know, Sally said that she really thinks that I'm an awesome friend because I'm such a great listener or, you know, Megan says that, you know, she really loves having me around because I make the, her experiences when we go hiking, you know, really fun and light and playful or, or whatever, right? And just, just bring those things up and start like recording those things and figuring out like, how do I bring value to the world? How do I bring value to other people and start just finding evidence of that in your life so that you can start realizing and seeing your own value and, and remembering your value when you feel down because that's, that's really one of the most important things that you can do. And the last one is number five, which is communicate value as a person who sees their value, right? So, so if a person sees their value and they believe in their value, how do they act? And here are some ways they, they have boundaries and they stick to those boundaries. And so if they have a boundary, they might say their boundary. And if a guy tries to step over their boundary, they let, they push back on it and they're like, no, no, no, this is my boundary. And you do the things. I have communication techniques that I've talked about in, in other live streams. And, you know, you can check out the loves, the love frames toolkit. I talk more about boundaries in there and how to set those. Also, leaning back, right, allowing a man to give to you, allowing yourself to receive, right, someone who believes in their value, they allow people to give to them. If you don't believe in your value, it's really hard for you to receive a gift from somebody else because you're like, oh, I don't know if, I don't know if I really deserve this, you know, can I, can I take this on? Can I, can they give this to me, right? And so, so you want to lean back and allow a man to, to pursue you, allow men to give you things, allow men to, to give you gifts of their time and their energy and, and their thoughts and, and all the other things that men do to give, right? Just allow yourself to receive those things. The next one is putting yourself into a position of power, which I've talked about a lot about before. I talk about it in detail in the forever woman program. And that's just putting yourself in a position where you're not stuck, right? You're not stuck on one guy. You're not stuck on, on everything working out and making it work with this, just this one guy, right? Because you, you have an abundance of connection and abundance of options and abundance of life. And so you're, you're not, if, if a guy doesn't treat you well, you're willing to walk away. And that's what that means. Abundance, which I just talked a little bit about having an abundance of options, having an abundance of connection. It'll make it so that, that it'll be easier to see your value because you'll have men that are trying to pursue you and, and want things with you. You have friends that value you and, and talk to you and, and care about you. You have other things going on. And so you're not so attached to, to just this one guy. And the next one is emotional range. One of the, the big things that women bring to relationships with men is emotion, right? Because men aren't nearly as connected with their emotions as women are. And one of the things that they said, you know, out there is that there's women, so women, there's a study's done and they found that women are about three times more likely to walk away from a bad relationship than a man is. And they did some research into figuring out why that is. And what they found is that men don't usually have a lot of emotional connections in their life. Most of their friends that they're friends with, they don't have deep emotional connections with them. They, they don't receive kind of that emotional support from those people. They usually only receive it from one person. And that's their significant other, which is why a lot of men, one of the reasons why a lot of men won't end up breaking up with a lot of women is because they, or at least they're more likely to stay in a bad relationship is because they have a woman and they're like, this is who I get my emotional support from, right? And this is, this is the one person I have that, that I've, I'm that connected to. And so if you can connect to a man on an emotional level and really be deeply emotionally connected to them, that can be a very, very, very powerful thing for a man. So that's it for what I have today. If you get what I'm talking about, say, I get it. If you don't get what I'm talking about, or you have questions about your situation or whatever, make sure to post what I, what it is in the chat. You can post any questions about your situation or whatever is going on with you. And I will answer them in the chat. So remember why you must stop trying to prove your worth for a man to see your value. It's because people who believe that they're valuable don't try to prove that they're valuable. And so the more that you try to prove that you're valuable, the more likely that a man will start taking you for granted and not see you as a priority and not feel like you're that amazing special woman that you want him to see you as. And so you have to stop doing it because it's like a treadmill. You just keep doing it and keep doing it and it gets you nowhere. You're all, you're always in the same spot. And so if you, if you really want a man to see your value, you have to believe in it and you have to communicate it and you have to live in alignment with believing that you're a amazing and valuable woman. OK, so let's see what kind of questions we have today. What do we have? Oh, thank you. You're cute. OK. Thank you. Thank you for telling me I'm cute. Susan says, looking handsome. Thank you. Hello, Sissy. Hello, hello, hello. Looking dapper. Thanks. So, yep, Heather says, people who believe that they're valuable don't try to prove that they're valuable. Got it. Awesome. That is right. So Laura says, I've been watching your videos for some time and maybe coincidence, but I've met the man of my dreams and it has all fallen into place. Don't have to try hard at all. It's the best. And that's how it should be, right? You shouldn't be trying hard. That's that's exactly what we're talking about. You should be allowing him to him to be investing in you. That's right, Laura. That's right. That's right, Laura. That's right. Wanda says, can we have tips for people over 55? Wanda, you have to ask me specific things about your situation and what challenges you're having. If you want tips from me because, you know, the stuff that I teach is stuff that works with everybody, right? The forever woman program works for everybody no matter what age you are, because it works with human biology and human psychology. And so it's not just for people that are under 40. It works on everybody. Actually, for men, it works as well, right? If a man uses my system, it'll work for him as well. And so it's it's all like everything isn't the same, right? There are differences between like younger and older couples and what's going on in your situation because women, when they get older, they tend to have more testosterone and men tend to have less testosterone. And it kind of depends on who you're dating, right? Because we have a lot of women in our community who are dating men who are much younger than they are, right? So they're, you know, 40 plus years old. There was a woman the other day who messaged me saying that she was she's in her 70s and that she's dating a guy in her 20s. And I mean, that was just mind blowing to me. But it's it's one of those things where you have to tell us more about your situation, just saying, hey, can we have tips for people over 55? Yes, you can. Just ask me what questions you have about your situation and I will give you tips. Jen says, you look so perfect. Well, thank you. Thank you. Looking spiffy, looking handsome, looking sharp. I appreciate it. I get it, I get it, I get it. Deposit made. Sissy says, I'm trying to listen but your tie is distracting me. Anyway, thank you for your advice. His big bro, they are the best. You are welcome, Sissy. I don't know why my tie is distracting you. Is it flopping all over the place? I don't think it is. Hello handsome. You know, if I really want to like build myself esteem, I think I'm just gonna put on a suit and start doing live streams. So Sharon says, so it's all about believing. No, it's not all about believing. But believing is a very, very important foundation to everything else. If you don't believe in your own value, then you're gonna communicate, you're gonna do all these techniques, right? And you're gonna try to communicate your value but it's gonna break because when you do things and you're just kinda doing it because someone told you that this is how you should be behaving around men to get him to value you, what ends up happening is all that insecurity and all the neediness and all the other things that you have within you start seeping out, right? Because you don't really believe what you're doing. And so what ends up happening is the guy thinks that everything's going great but then three months, six months, a year, you know, a year and a half down the road, what ends up happening is that the guy starts going, wow, things are so different now, right? You were so amazing and awesome and everything was great and wonderful at the beginning but all of a sudden it's like she turned into this person who's just constantly needy and constantly trying to get validated and constantly fishing for compliments trying to prove to me all this stuff and it just feels really gross, right? And so he'll start getting turned off and he'll start losing interest if you don't have that foundation underneath you. If you do have that foundation, it's really easy to keep it because you believe it deep inside yourself. And so when something comes up where, you know, you don't have a technique to do something there, you, it'll be a lot easier for you to naturally and organically just communicate your value and connect with him in the right way. I hope that makes sense to you, Sharon, so. Heather says, better to not do anything at all. It is better to not do anything at all than to try to prove or fight to force and show him that you're valuable, like Amy said. Nope, I'm not gonna force, fight or prove anything. Good, it's the way you should be. Don't do it, don't do it, don't do it. Michelle said, hey, Matt, you are looking more handsome every time. I love the time, nice touch. How do you keep a younger man in love with you? Well, you, like I was talking to the person earlier about like just go through my system, use my system, make sure you're using my system. And if you're using my system, it'll be very easy, right? Give him space. Allow him some space whenever, before he needs it, make sure that when you're connecting with him, you're connecting with him as much as you can in a very positive light, right? Like there's, you don't have to be positive all the time, right? Like things don't have to be flowers and rose petals and amazing stuff all the time. You just have to have a lot more positive interactions in a relationship than negative ones. And you need to make sure that you're giving him space because men fall in love in the space, right? Like in that space, that's when the love builds and it grows, right? It's like a fire. If you have a fire and you're building a fire and it's a small fire, you don't just start throwing logs on top of it because you'll smother it. What you have to do is you have to give it space and you're throwing twigs and leaves and stuff in there and you're letting it grow and grow and grow and you have to let oxygen in there. And eventually you start putting bigger and bigger wood on it and you let that grow and then you put bigger and eventually you can have a bonfire if you allow it enough space and you allow it enough oxygen and you give it wood at the right times and you don't over smother it. Eventually it'll just grow into this big bonfire and it'll be virtually impossible to burn out, right? Obviously you still can burn it out or you still can smother it but you wanna give it some space. So, Josie says, I'm dating a guy that's freshly separated and I see him still confused, okay? Sharon says, I talk to myself so much, I'm starting to think I do it when other people are watching that. I talk to myself so much that I just do it when other people, I don't even care. I don't even care if people know that I'm talking to myself. Oh, God. I'm ridiculous. I am ridiculous. Okay, Julie Tree says, so I'm just supposed to leave him completely alone when I'm just trying to be friendly and get to know him better. This is so confusing. I didn't have no difficulty in my last relationship. Well, he has to be interested in you, Julie Tree. And so if you're, I mean, it depends on what's going on in the situation. You know, is he pursuing you? You can do all kinds of things. If he's pursuing you and he has a movement towards you, you can do lots of stuff. You can connect with him and talk to him and do all that kind of stuff. But if he's not moving towards you, if he's not pursuing you, if he's not trying to actively connect with you, then you should completely leave him alone and do what I talk about in the forever woman program where you're building an orbit of men, right? You're building abundance for yourself because if you don't have that abundance, then you'll be stuck on this one guy who might not even be interested in you and you're putting all this effort and energy into it and you're like, well, why isn't this working? I'm so confused. He was never interested in you in the first place or he wasn't that interested in you, right? Like what I was talking about before with the value, right? If a guy doesn't see your value at least as a six or a seven, then you're just wasting your time. If he's down there and he sees your value and his attractiveness to you is like a three, you're going nowhere with this, right? It's gonna be very, very difficult for you to create a relationship with this person if they aren't really into you from the beginning. Mama Bear says, I know my worth and value is a woman and a mother, but he doesn't and if he does, he doesn't tell me or show me I feel defeated, okay? Kepes says, looking great, Matt. Thank you, thank you, I appreciate it. Heather says, boundaries show self-respect and self-worth. That is right, Matt, they do. Rita says, all these videos and I am a great person with a loving heart. Men are visual creatures, so what does one do if they are but ugly? Are you talking about you being but ugly, right? Like, so visual stuff is important to a guy, right? And it is, looks are important. And there's more to looks than just like your genetic makeup, right? I was actually talking to a friend of mine about this the other day. He's a men's dating coach and we were kind of just talking about a bunch of different things in the dating space at the time. And one of the things that he said to me was he said, youthfulness is a distractor because it kind of covers up genetic kind of ugliness, right? Like he was telling me and what we kind of had a conversation about was is that when a woman has youthfulness, right? Like, not necessarily being young, but also just being youthful, being playful, being like connected to her heart and being in her feminine energy, a guy can end up looking over you being not nearly as attractive as somebody that he might normally go for because he's connected to you in a different way and you're bringing value to him in a different way than just being attractive, right? Like we have attractive women all the time that come very attractive women, very attractive women who are in our community. Was coaching this woman not too long ago who actually used to be a model, right? She was a model and she was having all these difficulties with attracting and keeping a guy. And the problem that she was having was that guys didn't want something real with her. They didn't want a real relationship with her. Now, why, how could a woman be this, you know, a model beauty, you know, like going out and doing pageants and stuff and still guys don't want her for anything more than a hookup, why? Because she wasn't connecting with men in the right way. If you're just trying to connect with men with your physical beauty, I mean, there's a lot of value to that and you can do things to spice up your physical beauty, right, like you can put on, like you can change what you wear and you can wear things that make you look more attractive and that guys will see you and be like, oh my God, she is so hot, just because of the way that you wear things or the type of makeup that you put on or how well you take care of your body, right? Like if you're, you know, getting drunk and you're eating fast food every day and you just don't care about taking care of your body and you don't work out and you don't, you know, do any of those kinds of things that you need to do for body maintenance, then it's gonna be a lot more difficult to appear as physically attractive, but there's, you know, if you do do those things, if you do take care of yourself, if you do work out, if you do, you know, just take care of your body and eat well and do all that kind of stuff, it's your body actually looks a lot younger than you might even be, right? And so there's a lot of different things that go into that, but it's not just like, hey, I'm but ugly, there's nothing I can do about it, what do I do now, right? It's like, there's a lot of different factors of attractiveness and not all of them, in fact, most of them have nothing to do with your looks and some of them do have to do with your looks and there's something that you can do about that, right? And it doesn't require plastic surgery, but it does require loving yourself and taking care of yourself, which is exactly what we're talking about here. When you value yourself, you want to take care of yourself, you want to take care of your body and what's going on with you. Wow, that might have been a tangent there. Amy says, is it okay to ask the guy you've been dating for six months, do you value me? I know my worth and I am a good woman. He's just stubborn and blind. We're not exclusive yet, but I'm not pressuring him or anything. So Amy, you are way past. I'm guessing that you're physically intimate with each other. You're way past the point where you should have started the conversation about exclusivity. My recommendation, which if you don't have the forever woman program, I suggest you go and get it. It's at the forever woman formula, theforeverwomanformula.com. You can go get it for free. I talk about this in there. You should be, before getting physically intimate with a man, you should be getting, you should have an agreement of exclusivity. If you're not doing that, then you should, if you're obviously past that point, you should be having that conversation immediately. Because that conversation lets you know where you stand with a man. And if he's not even willing to be exclusive with you, you need to know that right now. I mean, six months, generally guys know what kind of a relationship they want with a woman by six month point, right? They did studies on this and they found that by the six month point, men unanimously know for a fact what kind of a relationship they want with a woman. And if you haven't been making sure that you're protecting yourself and putting yourself in a position that's good and important and making sure that you're in a situation that works for you, then it's gonna be a problem. You're gonna have a problem when you're hitting the six month, eight month, year mark and you're like, what are we doing here anymore, right? Because he already knows, but you don't know because you haven't been doing what I talk about. And so my suggestion is you go get my program, the foreverwomanformula.com, you can get it for free and to make sure that you have that conversation immediately since you haven't had it yet. Mary says, hi Matt, I like the outfit. Joanna says, hi Matt, I love listening to all your chats. They have really helped me. I'm from Victoria, British Columbia, awesome. Jen says, I love your hair and your suit, it's awesome. I'm glad you like it. Joanna says, here's the scoop. I don't know. I don't know what that means. Wanda says, more for us older women. Yeah, like I said, ask me real questions. Sylvia says, hello from Cincinnati. Cool, I'll be in Cincinnati in like three weeks, four weeks, three weeks. I'll be in Cincinnati for Christmas. That's where my family lives. Jen says, I am giving lots of gifts to my man and he doesn't replies when he can and he is out with his friends. What should I do? Number one, you should stop giving gifts to your man. That is not feminine. Men, what you need to do is stop, right? Like stop doing what you're doing. What you need to do is lean back. I have a live stream about leaning back. Go watch that live stream right now and just stop giving things to him. Just stop it, just completely stop. Start rebuilding yourself up. Start rebuilding your life up. Cause when you're giving to him a bunch of gifts, you send him messages, he's not replying. If he's out with his friends, what should you do? You should chill out and start taking care of yourself and start pulling back and start figuring out what's going on in your relationship and your situation because you're not being valued and he's taking you for granted and it sounds like you're probably coming from a needy or insecure place, which is something that you definitely need to take care of and so make sure that you take care of that. Sally says, what do you think of long distance relationships? Well, I think a lot of different things about them. They're difficult. You know, if you don't have to get in one, which you don't, I think that you should avoid it. I think there's a lot of scams going on online with long distance relationships. I think you need to be very careful about what you're doing and what kind of a situation you're getting into and making sure that you're getting into the right situation. I think that you need to be seeing each other at least once a month if you are doing long distance and if you're not, I recommend that you don't do it. Assuming that your boyfriend, husband, man is not in the military and just going active duty and going overseas and coming back, which is a totally different situation. Yeah, I think there's a lot of challenges with it. It's really difficult and I think that you shouldn't do it if you don't have to. Judy Jack says, great point. When I try to chase the beginning of a previous relationship that I missed, I agree that I didn't have anything to prove in the beginning. Kepa says, if they can't see it from the beginning, then they're not the right man for you. Eunice says, how to have an emotional connection with a man. I talk all about that in great detail in the Forever Woman program. There's so much to say about that. Go to the foreverwomanformula.com and check that out and you can get my program there for free. And I talk all about having an emotional connection with a man. And I'm actually building a program right now or soon, I'll be soon building a program about how to really create a super deep emotional connection with a man. There's a lot to it and a lot of different ways that you can approach it. It's not that it's really difficult, but there's a lot of different ways that you can approach it. You can approach it from the space of connecting with yourself and in your own emotions and then connecting with him through your emotions. You can do it through questions. You can do it through shared experiences. There's a bunch of different ways that you can do it. And so it's a very, very, it's a very big topic. So Trimi says, you are a very good delivery statement of fact. Okay, Joe says, hi Matt, I love this content. This inspired me to do a video on men and conditioned behavior and what it has to do with being able to connect from the heart. Awesome. Happy to hear that, Joe. Joe's one of our coaches. And if you have like really deep kind of like emotional stuff that you're trying to heal and you haven't really healed it yet, should talk to Joe D. Bianca. He's our coach and he will help you with that stuff. Lee says, really good and true advice as they say, if you don't know your worth, how can someone else have a great man that saw mine? Thanks for your videos, Matthew. Very inspiring and very much appreciated, Lee Hoppe. You're welcome. I'm glad that it's, that they're very helpful for you. Yana said, I learned a lot from your advice. Awesome. Zuzi, Zuzu. This is younger men looking for women who work for them. Okay. It's not always the case for sure. Robbie says, mention the name of the free advice on your site again. What is the name of it? The forever woman. Go to theforeverwomanformula.com. Jen says, you're so perfect. What should I do my men going out with his friend and he doesn't want to reply to my messages. You need to lean back. You know, watch that video I talk about leaning back on. It's a very important thing for you to be doing right now. Diana says, Matt, you look so handsome today. Thanks. Maria says, less is more. Exactly, less is more. Jen says, I'm not going to give gifts anymore. Good, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it. That's my advice. Stop it, Jen, just stop it. Margaret says, a man who can't wait to see me, his face lights up. There you go. Valentina says, I have one deer, Matt. You have one deer? I have been seeing this guy for three months. He takes a lot of action, but we haven't made it official yet. How do I hint that I want this and for him to open up more? Wow, there's a lot going on in your question there, Valentina. So he takes lots of action, but you haven't made it official. What does that mean? So you've been seeing him for three months. Have you been physically intimate? You know, you want this with him and you want him to open up more? I mean, there's so much going on there and we don't really know what's going on in your situation. So we need to know more. Need to know more. Emma says, I need a bonfire, working on giving him space. That's right. Space, bonfire. Margaret says, I'm tired of being alone and I realize I don't have to be. Life is too short to wait around for a man who is wasting my time. That is right, Margaret. You want abundance. So make sure that you go and check out my program, the foreverwomanformula.com. You can get it for free and it'll teach you all about abundance and making sure that you put yourself in the best possible situation to attract the right guy for you. So, Jen says, how about I'm the one who did all efforts and he does nothing. You're talking about exactly what I've been talking about in this live stream, Jen. You need to stop doing it. Samantha says, I'm dating a guy that says he'll never love me. Well, you need to stop dating that guy immediately, right? Why would you possibly want to date a guy that says that he will never love you? I mean, that just sounds horrible. It's horrible. Why would you put yourself through that? Fiona says, this is still live. This is still live, Fiona. Margaret says, I'm giving him all the space he needs and I have a feeling that someone else is going to pursue me like never before to prove how serious he is. Good, that's exactly what I'm talking about. This is why you do abundance. This is why you put yourself in a position of power because then, see, this is what I'm talking about, people. This is what I am talking about, right? You put yourself in a situation where you have abundance and so you switch your mindset from it being about this guy to being about the relationship that you want to have. And when you make it about the relationship, all of a sudden it stops being about how do I force and manipulate and control and pushing, conjoal and slap and turn this guy into a pretzel that I want him to be and it starts going, hey, which guy is going to step up and start treating me the way that I want to be treated? And that's how you put yourself in a position of power because then all of a sudden it's like, you have control. You have control over who you're with, who you're not with. If a guy doesn't step up, it's not like, oh, how do I force him to like make things right with me and see me in the way that I want him to see me? Which there's a lot you can do about that, but some guys aren't ever gonna do that. And so it's not about trying to force and control him. It's like, okay, which one of these guys in my orbit is gonna do that? And next thing you know, you'll start having a couple of them do that and then you'll forget about, you know, Chris such and such and Rob so and so because they didn't step up and they contact you and they're like, hey, you wanna hang out? And you're like, eh, I don't even know that I really do anymore, right? You're not pursuing me. You're not showing me that you think that I'm valuable and that you care about me and that's really what I wanna have in my life. And when you're coming from that space, not only from like an internal perspective where you're aligned from your belief systems and your emotions, but, you know, from your communication, everything that you're doing when you're coming from that space, it's so much easier to get into a great relationship. Sharon says, it does make sense. Sometimes I ask my roomie for advice after something I say on a date and she would say I effed up because I criticized him, but she said, don't worry, you have a cute body. He'll be back. Okay. Amy says, very true. I don't wanna push him away. So relationships and love is built, not found in the space is important. Even though he's long distance, he's in Ohio and I am in Kansas. It all takes time. At least he's honest, tells me he's stubborn. And the first time I said the L word, at least he was honest and told me how he feels. I'm glad he didn't say it because that's what I wanna hear. He has to feel it too. Honesty is attractive to it. So let's see, questions. Who has a question here? Laura says, every woman in this chat right now, this minute is beautiful. Don't ever doubt that for a minute. You may not be Cindy Crawford, but whomever you think is beautiful, but you are beautiful. There you go. Yannis says, hello, Matt. I've learned a lot from your advice. Thanks so much. You're welcome. Sissy says, too much of a physical beauty can be a blockage to attract high quality men. I have to dress all covered. Naturally, they just look at my physique and not me as a person. I avoid exposing anything at all. Sissy's just telling us how beautiful she is right now. She's like, Sissy's like, yeah guys, I'm so beautiful. I don't mean to call you out, Sissy. No, it's true. It's funny because one of the things that I found, especially for women that are really, really beautiful, sometimes they get hit on more when they dress down, right? They'll get better connections. They'll get better guys that'll connect with them or approach them in a better way because they're not all dolled up. Some guys see that and they're like, I don't know what's going on there, but I don't want to deal with that because they think high maintenance and all that kind of stuff. And sometimes when you dress yourself down, guys are like, oh, she's more approachable, right? She's more somebody that I can relate to and connect with and be with. And I don't have to worry about buying her all this crazy stuff because she only wears Gucci and whatever, right? And so a lot of times you can get better quality guys that'll come and talk to you when you're dressed down because they're not so intimidated by or even not necessarily intimidated, but turned off by you looking just absolutely amazing, right? Which is kind of an interesting thing as well. Emma says, what if he knows what he wants after six months of exclusivity, but does not express it? How do we get him to tell us how he feels? Well, you don't get him to tell you how you feel, how he feels specifically about you necessarily like in a direct way, right? Like if you want him to kind of talk about like, well, one, you should have been doing this up until now, right? Like you shouldn't be like waiting until you're six months into a relationship and then being like, you know, what do you think of? You know, what are you looking for in a relationship, right? And all that kind of stuff. You should be asking those questions at the beginning. Now, you're obviously in a situation where you didn't. So let's talk about that for a second here. And what you wanna do is you wanna find out that information, right? Like what he's interested in, like what he wants and what he kind of thinks about these different topics, right? Like marriage and, you know, being exclusive and, you know, being in all these different types of situations. And, you know, one thing to note is that if he's really like just head over heels in love and he wants something real and he wants a whole lot more, he's probably not gonna be hiding it. The only time that a guy like that would hide it is if he was scared that you're not really interested in it. And so, or that he might scare you off by talking about it. But usually by the six month mark, a guy like that who's really interested in those things with you will start kind of speaking up about those things, right? There might be other situations where he wants something like that, but he's not really ready for it, right? So situations where he doesn't really have his work figured out or, you know, he hasn't really kind of matured to the place as a man yet where he wants something like marriage and a real relationship. And so those are kinds of things that you need to figure out because you need to decide whether you want to wait for him to get there or not, which could be six months, five years, 10 years, whatever. And you also need to have kind of conversations about what it is that he wants and what he's looking for and have conversations about what he thinks about marriage and, you know, all that kind of stuff, right? And so those are a lot of different conversations that you need to have. And so, you know, you're not gonna get him probably if you haven't talked about any of this stuff, you're probably not gonna get him to be like, okay, you know, between you and me, although you might, right? Like if you're kind of at a situation where you're like, you know, I have no idea what this guy thinks. I have no idea whether he's really serious about me or not, right? You may be at a point where we get a lot of women that are because they get into these situations and usually it's more than six months, but usually it's closer to a year or something like that where they've been dating this guy and they still, he hasn't been talking about any of those kinds of things. And so she's like, okay, should I like still be waiting here, right? And you have to make that choice, right? Because you don't wanna waste your time. You don't wanna waste your time with some guy who's not sure about what he wants and he doesn't know where things are going and all that kind of stuff. And so if you get to a place where you're like, okay, you know, he clearly isn't pursuing. He clearly isn't moving things forward. He clearly isn't, you know, asking things that give me signals that say that he's looking for something more than it might be time that I directly approach this because I don't wanna waste my time. And if I'm just sitting around waiting for this guy to kind of make up his mind and start doing all this stuff, I could be wait, I mean, literally waiting for years, if not decades, with a guy that has absolutely no intention of getting married to you. We had a woman actually that was in our community who was dating this guy and they'd been dating for years. And, you know, she came and talked to me about it and I ended up talking to her and we discussed like what he was doing and what he was looking for. And she said that he said to her that he wasn't really sure. And I'm like, look, you know, he knows now. He knows, absolutely, right? Like past the six month point, he's probably, he may still be thinking about it a little bit. But in his mind, he's pretty close to knowing, right? Like the likelihood that he doesn't know is pretty slim, right? And so you might wanna give it another month or two, but you don't wanna give it much longer than that before you start being like, okay, you know, like where is this going, you know? Is this going somewhere else? And if you want to have that conversation with him, just because then you get to see like what his, you know, like if he's really interested in doing something more, right? And you might wanna smooth into it, just asking him about like what he thinks of marriage and what he thinks of like relationships and what he thinks of being committed if you guys haven't had those conversations yet. Because in his mind, he'll be like, oh, she's asking that because she's concerned about her self in this situation with me. And if he doesn't want to have a committed relationship and he doesn't wanna get married and he doesn't want all those things that you want, he will avoid the topic, he'll avoid the conversation, he'll start saying that you're creating drama, he'll, you know, like just do a whole bunch of like somersaults around the question to try to get out of the question, right? And you'll be sitting there like, you know, he's not sure and he doesn't know these things. And what happened to that woman in our community was she ended up leaving the guy and the guy ended up, I think like four or five months later, ended up getting married to some other woman, right? And she was like, he said he was unsure, he wasn't ready, he was all these things. And in reality, he knew, he knew that he didn't wanna get married to her and he was just keeping her around because it was convenient and it was easy and it felt good, right? Which a lot of women do with men as well. And it was just easier to have her around and then he found a woman that he really wanted to get married to and it was like that, right? Which is usually how it is for most guys. It doesn't take guys very long to figure out, this is somebody I wanna get married to, right? Like this is definitely somebody I wanna have in my life. And so if he's unsure and he's not pursuing it and he's not pushing things forward, you know, six months, eight months, a year into the situation that you're in, he's probably avoiding it because he knows that he doesn't wanna have it with you. And so you have to figure out what you wanna do in terms of either letting him go and being like, hey, if you wanna step up and do this, that's great, I'm all in. But, you know, I'm not gonna allow myself to be engaged and imprisoned by you because, you know, you're waiting for something better to come along. That you think is better to come along and holding me hostage from finding the right guy for me, right? And so you need to make sure that you're taking care of yourself at all times, right? Like that should be your motto here is, how do I make sure that I'm taking care of myself and I'm making sure that I get my needs met and making sure that that's the number one top priority that you have and it's not about him and it's not about making him feel comfortable and okay and not rocking the boat and doing all those things because if you're doing that, then you might end up in one of those situations with you, you're with a dude for years and you end up not going anywhere and he leaves you and gets married three months later because, you know, he was never serious about you to begin with, right? You don't want a guy like that. And so, you know, once you're past that six month mark, you should have it figured out with him. You should start having those conversations if you haven't already, which you should have, but you definitely should by then. Becky says, what do you think of an ex-husband who comes back, says he has never lost love for his ex-wife? Is this your situation, Becky, or are you asking for somebody else? But yet is preparing to move to another state and says he doesn't know what the future holds. He isn't prepared to commit to any kind of dynamic. It's confusing. Yeah, I mean, it doesn't sound like, it doesn't sound like he doesn't know what the future holds. It sounds like he knows exactly what the future holds and it holds him moving to another state and committing to something that isn't his ex-wife, right? Yeah, I mean, so if you're divorced, right? And he comes back, oh, okay, so, wait, is this, so is this guy divorced? So are you the new person that he's met, right? That he's interested? Okay, so what it sounds like is that he got divorced to somebody else and he never lost his love for his ex-wife. Yeah, I mean, it sounds like, it doesn't sound confusing to me at all. What it sounds like is that he's still stuck on his ex-wife that he's got some serious plans. He knows exactly what he's committing to and that if I were you and you are kind of a third party in this situation, which is what it sounds like, I wouldn't get involved in that at all and I would start using my system. That's what I'd do if I were you. Annette says, do you listen to his words or actions? It depends on what you're talking about. Annette, three month relationship, he says he doesn't want anything super serious, yet he treats me like a girlfriend. This, so there's certain times when you should listen to actions and there's certain times when you should listen to words. In this scenario, you should listen to words. So he says he doesn't want anything super serious but he treats you like a girlfriend. We have had women who are in casual friend with benefits situations for over 10 years, where a guy said that he didn't want anything serious and that he doesn't look at her as serious and whatever, but he treats these women like they're his girlfriend because he's getting his needs met, right? He has needs, emotional needs, all kinds of different needs that he wants to have met but he doesn't want the commitment, right? It's that whole, why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free type of thing. And so what you need to do is make sure that you're protecting yourself and don't get involved with him at all if you want something serious. If you want something serious, he's told you and you should listen to his words when he says this to you that he doesn't want anything serious and he will treat you like a girlfriend, he'll treat you like a wife and he, so you have to remember he's not doing it because he wants you to feel special. He's doing it because it makes him feel special. It makes him feel like he has all of his needs met. He is benefiting a lot more than you are by treating you like his girlfriend, remember that. And so if you're in a situation where he's doing that and he's told you he doesn't want anything serious, my suggestion is that you cut and run, you get my program, the foreverwomanformula.com, you start using that and you don't get yourself into a situation like this ever again. And if he wants to step up and start doing things, great. You said we're both recently divorced. He probably needs some time to heal and chill out. You should leave him alone and let him heal and chill out. And when he's ready, tell him that he can come and talk to you again and if you're so single, great, if not, that's fine too. That's my suggestion. So Tiri says, how do you know you've met the one? Well, that is a great question. And I think I've done an entire video on how to know that you've met the one. And so I suggest you look up that video first. That would be my suggestion. So, you want a man to, you want to attract, women come to what I'm doing and they join our community and they get my program, the foreverwoman, because they want to attract a man who loves them and sees them and cherishes them and they want to be in a committed relationship that lasts, a relationship where he sees her as a woman that he wants to be with forever. And he makes her a priority and he has eyes for only her and he treats her like a queen. He treats her really, really well. But a lot of the women that come to us, they're having problems with men pulling away and disappearing and they get into these patterns and some of the questions that we had today, right? Like where a woman's with this guy and he says that he's not serious, he doesn't want anything serious, but he treats her like a girlfriend and all that kind of stuff. And they get into these situations that they don't want to be in. They have all these kind of issues and it makes them feel confused. It makes them doubt themselves, doubt their own value and their own self-worth and many of them feel like they just want to give up, right? They want to give up on dating. Some of them get jaded and angry at men and I totally get it, right? Like if you're having a hard time with men and dating, it's really not your fault, right? We live in this culture that encourages superficial relationships and it discourages anything meaningful. We live in the world of the hookup culture and I believe that there's a better way for men and women to get into and stay in committed relationships that last. And you need to make sure that you're getting yourself into a position where you're empowering yourself, you're protecting yourself, you're getting into a situation where you're only allowing the right men to come in and treat you well and if they're not willing to treat you well, then it's easy for you to walk away from that situation and then having a system set up around you so that you make sure and keep that attraction alive because what you do can impact how people feel around you, right? Like if you start acting like if a guy, we have women sometimes that are in our community and they're like, oh, this guy is like smothering me and like how do I tell him to stop doing it, right? And it's like the exact same thing but on the opposite side, right? And so if you're smothering a guy and you're doing all the things that I talked about in this live stream where you're trying to prove your worth and you're doing all these things and you're trying to be the perfect girlfriend and you're doing everything and nothing's working because it doesn't work, you need a different way of interacting, right? You need to change your belief systems, you need to change how you communicate with the man, you need to change the way that you look at and you see yourself and that you view and connect with men in relationships and I understand what it feels like having problems keeping somebody attracting somebody in my life for those of you that know a bit of my story, some of you do know, some of you don't, I came into the dating industry because I was having problems of my own, right? Like I was having a whole bunch of challenges, I didn't know what to do, my high school sweetheart cheated on me and I came from a family of men who had been cheated on, a whole bunch of them had been cheated on by women and so I wanted to figure this out for myself and I know what it's like to try lots of things and none of them seem like they're working, you know, I've been there and many of the women that I work with have been there as well and I've, through this system that I have and through the work that I've done, I've helped thousands and thousands of women switch from feeling like they're hopeless and stuck to attracting great men into committed relationships where they're loved and cherished and absolutely adored by a great guy and many of them end up getting married or in committed relationships or whatever it is that you want to do and so, you know, if you're interested in getting my system for free, absolutely free, make sure that you go, go to theforeverwomanformula.com, watch the video there, sign up for our program, if you decide that you wanna be a part of our community, it's $37 a month and, you know, make sure that you're believing in your value, position yourself in value and communicate your value. That's what the Forever Woman Formula is all about. It's all about getting into a situation where a man treats you the way that you wanna be treated. So, there should be a link above or below this video if you want or you can go to theforeverwomanformula.com and get that program, you know, if you get it and you use the principles in there, you'll attract a man who loves you and cherishes you, a guy who pursues you for committed lasting relationship, you'll do less work and feel more appreciated and valued by your man. And if you don't do it, I mean, what do they say? You keep doing the same thing over and over and over again and you, you know, keeps having the same problems and if you feel like you're stuck, then my suggestion is you go and check out my program and see if, I mean, it's free, right? So you can go and check it out and watch it and if you like it, great. If you don't, then just ignore it, but it's worked for a lot of women and I know it works. We have a lot of great women who have gotten a lot of great things out of this program. So go check it out, theforeverwomanformula.com. That's it for today. Thank you everybody for being here. I really appreciate you allowing me to be a part of your journey and trusting me with helping you get into the relationship that you've always wanted. You are absolutely the best part of our community. We have the best women in the world in our community. So thank you so much for being here. You're awesome. You're absolutely amazing and beautiful and wonderful. So thank you so much for being here. And that's it everybody and I will speak with you again soon. Have a great day, night or evening or wherever you are in the world and we will talk soon. So thank you so much. Talk to you later.