 Listen, it's the message right here. Black boy, tell me how you really feel. Because I just want to build with you. Black girl, tell me how you really feel. I want to keep it real with you. I want to live better, eat better. I want to love better, sleep better. Yeah, I want to feel so aligned. Great Britain is England and Scotland and Wales. That's the Great Britain. That's the Great Britain, OK. So do people identify, so like Scottish people, do they identify as Scottish or British? Scottish. They are Britain. I think they are British. They would thought about it. Actually, yeah. I say I'm British. Right. That's because I'm from England. Exactly. That goes with it. But I think they say it. One of the things that I like asking people is it's an identity question. And I think the reason I ask it is because I'm also in the middle of identities, right? OK. So do you consider yourself a black person who happens to be a woman or a woman who happens to be black? A woman who happens to be black. Explain. Break that down for me. Because I don't think about the color of my skin. I just feel and how I feel is based on the makeup of me being a woman. So it just comes naturally. I don't think, oh, yeah, I'm black. So I can't feel this way. I just feel. So yeah. So let me ask you like this. If there was, OK, let's say a woman just got shot by the police in the past week. And a black man just got shot by the police in the past week. And the feminist schedule in March and the Black Lives Matter people schedule in March or the NAACP schedule in March, which march are you going to? Because I'm a black woman. Like, I don't know. I don't know. I feel like I'm contradicting what I'm saying, but. It's not a simple question. It's not. So. I just feel like I've seen so many black women been killed by the police. Black men killed by the police. And I'm a black woman. I fit with that community. I would go because I'm tired of it, too. So the black comes first? In that. I don't know. But I thought. But I just know I would. OK. OK. Well, so the conversation, the bigger conversation is about the gap between black men and black women. So the two-part question is, do you think there is a gap? What do you think the gap is if there is a gap? A gap. In what sense? Like a misunderstanding, a separation. I feel like there is. I feel like women nowadays are. Just excelling that rate that maybe men, our age group, are not on. Because you know women mature faster than men. I feel like with a black woman, I feel like black men aren't soft enough sometimes. They can be soft in the beginning. And then over time, it just. It lacks consistency. That's what we struggle with, dealing with black men is a lack of consistency. And you can't introduce a woman to something that you can't keep up. And that's what they do. And then he tries to stay because now she's in too deep with you. She wants it to work out. And then it doesn't because she's tired of repeatedly telling you to tell them the same thing. And then she's like, OK, I don't care anymore. And then because she's not caring, he's thinking like, OK, what are you doing? And why are you not doing what you're supposed to be doing? But really, she's just tired. And that's what's happening with a lot of relationships is women just get tired of feeling like they're saying, do this, do that, and do this, do that. And then when they find somebody else that's doing what they wanted the past guy to do, like the ex starts being toxic and then that's how it goes. That's just how it goes. It's just like. What do you think because something my mom says often is it takes two to tango, right? What do you think women are doing wrong? I think women are. I feel like women maybe like, don't try to think about me. What do I think I'm doing wrong? Because maybe some of us are just too independent. Sometimes because you say you got it, you don't give the guy an effort to be the guy. You know, you might be too pushy. You know, you might be always asking for something. You know, be degrading. Sometimes, you know, men want to feel special. So when you speak to them in a way that could emasculate them, that could be an issue itself. Tone. Sometimes it's not how you. It's not what you say is how you say it. So I think that that may be the few things that I says black women can work on is being softer with black men, too, you know, a lot of men do have my mommy issues. And but if you choose if you choose to be with him, you got to, you know, keep trying to do what he needs. But if it's too much, that's when you just say no, because you don't need to be like being somebody's mom. But, you know, just be soft. So in the beginning, you mentioned how men are inconsistent and they might start off, like, you know, up here. And then eventually they just like, let's I want to explore that. Why do you think that is? Because I agree with you. But I think there's more. So why do you think that is? Why do I feel like they're inconsistent? Yeah. Well, I said, I don't know. They get too comfortable, I guess they, I don't know, lose emotion for the person they're with. I have no idea. I want to know that. Why do men you struggle with consistency? That's what I want to know. Because look, it's tiring out here when you go through the same thing, you're like, you know, when are you going to find somebody that actually does what they say? And, you know, you don't have to ask about it because, you know, your man got you. That's all you want to feel is secure, you know. So it's two different types of consistency that I want to talk about. So the first consistency is, you know, doing what you say you're going to do. Now, I think that's just the difference between men and boys, right? When you're a man, when you're a man of respect and principle, you do what you're going to say. So if a man is not doing what he's going to say or what he says he's going to do then, you really don't need to be with that man because he still has growing to do. So that's to one side. Why do men start off going 60 miles an hour trying to impress you and then eventually fall off? That's the more important conversation. This is what happens and I'm going to be completely honest. Oh, interesting. Men have a habit of putting women we don't know on a pedestal. Before we meet you, like let's say we see a girl at the club from far away but we see her in the street from far away. Unfortunately, that is the most beautiful she'll ever be to mostly because I don't know you yet. You're far, you're close enough for me to see but you're far enough where I can't touch you. And men end up putting all these expectations in their head of her, what she's going to smell like, what she's going to sound like, what she's going to be like in bed, what she's going to be like in the home. She's going to be able to cook. She's going to be the woman of my dreams. The problem with pedestals is the only place you can go after you're on a pedestal is down. So the mistake men make is we prematurely pedestalize women and set them up to disappoint us. So for me, I encourage men to, and that's part of the series, like I encourage men to see women as human beings because if I see you as a human being and I interact with you as a human being you can't necessarily fall off a cliff because I didn't put you there. We're going to interact with each other as human beings as equals, as you know. And the consistency can be sustainable because it's certain shit a lot of dudes do when they first start talking to you. It is inconsistent. Like they can't be consistent with that. You know what I'm saying? Like when you look at the rappers who are buying their baby mamas, G-Wags and things like that, you can't do that for 20 years. You can't do that for 10 years, 10 months. You can do it for a week. Yeah, but you can do other things. Sure, sure. You ain't gotta do the exact thing. Sure. That you started doing it, but don't fall all the way off. That don't give you no excuse. What you thought this was gonna be? A two minute situation? No, you got with me. You said you wanted to be with me. You knew the consequences. You knew, you know, you might get tired. But as a man, because you said that you was gonna do this by me, you should have done it. I agree. I agree. So it's like, you shouldn't, I'm not expecting you to buy me roses every day. You know what I'm saying? You know, just don't switch off. Don't go like, I'm not saying like this happened to me, but you know when you, if you live together, like you don't start not talking. You don't start being disrespectful in ways that you haven't been to me before, because that's not what you introduced me to. I didn't do anything. So that's just, that's just what happens at the very end of the relationship when it's not being consistent. You just turn me to each other. And in that respect, I do blame men because oftentimes we don't, it's like twofold. We don't vet women properly based off of the right things. And eventually when the haze washes off of our eyes, we end up upset at you, where we should really be upset at ourselves. Like, I didn't pay, I didn't bargain for this, but that's because you just saw titties. You weren't thinking past the titties. And that's what happens. Yeah, exactly. You don't like her. You liked who you thought she was. Yeah. Yep.