 Your coca-cola bottler presents Claudia based on the famous play and novels by Rose Frankin Brought to you transcribed Monday through Friday by your friendly neighbor who bottles coca-cola Relax and while you're listening refresh yourself. Have a coke and now Claudia David why baby's just gone back to sleep. He just woke up. I Know that's what's so wonderful about it after his breakfast He usually sits around and crows and demands all sorts of attention this morning You think mr. Tucker's influence still could be after my breakfast. I think I could poof back to sleep too Come on. Let's go downstairs and eat. I don't know why the baby should be tired when we came home last night Are you sleeping soundly? You see all of your fears were for nothing. Mr. Tucker turned out to be the sitter of sitters all people that's funny old man He certainly takes his responsibilities as a neighbor seriously. I love him I wouldn't mind if he came over and sat with me while I slept. I'm tired No wonder getting to bed so late here your orange juice has some coffee. You'll feel better Nice evening with the Johnson's. I Certainly can't do it too often. I Wonder how mr. Tucker is this morning according to him last night He should be the same as usual this morning. It was smooth sailing. He said our son is an angel Oh, sure. I don't you go spilling all this around the neighborhood Tucker wants to keep it in a deep dark place. Oh, I intend to tell everybody of it I wouldn't put it past you David. You know what no what pass me the cream Thanks Is that all you were going to ask me? I wasn't gonna ask you anything. I was gonna tell you something David Do you know I was looking at the baby this morning, and I noticed a marked resemblance Everybody says he has your eyes. Oh, no, no, not me. Everybody says he has my chin. Thank goodness That wasn't what I noticed darling the baby looked like Jared Tucker The spittin image spittin there. He was lying in his crib toothless balding Slightly whizzing around the edges his body kind of cramped up David he was another Jared Tucker. Well, they say that babies do start looking like the people around them Do you think we should make a habit of mr. Tucker? I don't think mr. Tucker wants to be made a habit of He's gonna make the baby so serene and calm that he he drops off to sleep like an angel mr. Tucker is the man from I know what you mean. Have some more coffee. Oh, thanks It got call him up today and thank him again He trudged off so sleepily last night. He didn't give us half a chance Mr. Tucker good we're in the dining room He could have crept in through a crack in the wall Good morning sit down have a cup of coffee with this neighbor. Hey, don't mind if I do ma'am Large cup right here on the sideboard. Oh David pass the extra cup. Well, here you are Well, mr. Tucker, how I'll be you this morning. Oh, I'd be fine. Why don't it look fine? Yeah, if you look fine Oh, well if I do it ain't no fault of my own. Hey, hey, be careful. I'm pouring the coffee. You want to get scalded Want some toast mr. Tucker? Have you eaten? Well, I'll have a soft piece. She I ain't that yet No, you haven't had breakfast. I thought you always ate with the rooster I kind of got fouled up this morning Rooster foul get me. Yeah, I go. Yes. I can't you slept kind of later than usual this morning Matter of fact never sleep slept late in my life since I've come a man No wonder you got the bed very late. Why must have been midnight? Oh, it ain't late for me ma'am When you get to my age, you don't need so much gasoline to run so far But I sure slept this morning. Oh you and the baby You know, you're really getting more alike every minute the baby sleeping too is a very rare occur That don't surprise me. It wouldn't surprise me if he slept till come evening milking time David, I think there's more here than meets the eye. You know last night mr. Tucker. We Didn't have much of a chance to talk to you. Oh, there wasn't nothing to talk about son Well, how'd the baby behave was he easy fussy anything exciting happened or I can he behave just about like a baby, ma'am That's what he is any well babies can behave very different. Well, I sure do hope the others behave different than yours did You do if I don't fancy. I'd like to set myself up as a nursemaid Dang if I can see why babies can't behave like young animals do why seven months your son ain't nothing But they're murens pure and the helpless thing and now that ain't no surprise to me after start studying the Psychology of babies last night that the human race is in the trouble of change. Well one baby doesn't make the psychology Oh, not that I'm complaining about yours. Mind you. I suppose he's average no better. No worse than the others Mr. Tucker if you don't tell me what happened. I will bust nothing happened Go ahead darling bust except like you said he Won this trousers changed begins David and Something else I want to discuss with you folks this to this trouser business I too have often wanted to discuss that seems to me that until we growed up folks can find something better We're always going to have a heap of trouble something better than what we tire off spring up in them Them pieces of material and still we expect them to grow up and be like men men who can lead our countries and make our laws And keep us from getting into wars David. Mr. Tucker doesn't like three-cornered pants Why ma'am it's like putting a sail up on a ship. You don't know which end is which you get all Rassled up in the material you can't tell whether the baby is for after when you look at him bottom side up He's kicking and squilling. Hey, no wonder to me It's the women mr. Tucker. Sure. It's a women son. They try their baby sons and daughters up in them Bandages so to remind them that they're nothing but babies. It's the wrong foot to get humans started on that's what is Well, if you had your way mr. Tucker, what would you do? Well? Well, I'd I'd get him started right. Yes. Yes, go on I'd put the boys in pants and I'd put the girls in skirts and buy golly dead be on their own For about five minutes cotton. That's what it is. Cotton. You ain't never going to improve all out as long as you cut them Everything you say mr. Tucker's of great interest to me and I'm inclined to agree with most of it That's yeah, then what are you gonna do about it? Well, what can I do? This isn't a man's world, you know What do you mean? Oh, the minute a child gets born into your household mr. Tucker You realize that it isn't a man's world. It's the women who rule the roost They bring the child into the world and they bring them up They do it their way and in the way their mothers did and their mothers before that And they don't want any advice don't seem to me. They're so successful No, you're an authority on children one evening a baby sitting with yours ma'am and an authority is what I'd be if that's That's what I'd be a part of what else happened. You make it sounds. It was a wild night Well, when we came home all was peace and quiet all was exhaustion and surrender. Well, who surrendered Who do you think mr. Tucker, of course everything start out kind of quiet said to myself Tucker There ain't nothing to this baby business. I could go out and get myself 20 babies There ain't nothing to it then it started ma'am started like the shot that was heard around the world What start he opened his mouth ma'am? I'm telling you a symphony orchestra couldn't play as loud and long Well, that baby yours ain't nothing nothing but long Blue is self-up his chest is a bullfrog and it started the odor That sort of that sort of sounds that that send a cold chill up your spine Everything I changed his changed his trousers that kind of kept us busy for an eye on to a half an hour, but I did it I did it all tied up as neat as a Christmas package. He was I noticed it He was dropped off with exhaustion after that and then then he opened his mouth again He started off water. He wants that's what he wants water I says if I was thirsty I'd yell like that, too So down to the kitchen I went found his water bottle like you says kind of warmed it up firm Set it like an egg in a pot of boiling water. That's all right. Your efficiency is to be congratulated Then I trudged me back upstairs He didn't want no water How'd you know he didn't want no water? Well, he was laying there peaceful as a field of clover on a summer day not a pip squeak out of it That all sounds very simple playing possum. He was playing possum I know sooner sit down and started ruminating to myself and he opens up his mouth He starts well, I bring him his water and he don't want it milk milk milk. I says to myself that Downstairs I go again Back upstairs. I go again. He's laying nears quiet and peaceful as a daisy Well, I ain't going to be decepted by this facing baby twice So this time I don't let him get away with it. No, I nudged him I says here you're rascal. I says to him open your face. No sooner. I says this and in goes a bottle of milk Need to stricke of the week. I'm not a peep out of him after that. Well, mr. Tucker. You are certainly to be congratulated I'm finished by a long crack not a peep out of him after that for 20 minutes Oh 20 minutes only he really had you hot the main trouble with babies I figure out is that there ain't no decent means of communication animals They can tell you what to want they swat their tails or cock their heads They can even talk to you and they get an intelligent expression onto their faces, but babies no I know I know they're just lying there looking at you with a big round eyes of no expression no intelligence just a blank Empty that's not true. Bobby tells me what he wants all the time That's where you're wrong ma'am you tell Bobby what he wants all the time and then you decide he wants it Never heard of such a thing. They're darling. He's a hundred percent correct, but mr. Tucker Babies are not the only people that women treat that well Oh, you don't have to tell me son my sister daughter. She looks at me She tells me what I want then she tells me I want Protesting and beefing and plavering don't help women always know what you want better than yourself I'm surrounded from what you've told us mr. Tucker's no surprise to me that you over slept this morning Surprise to me son. They ever woke up at all Wasn't so concerned small you could tell him a thing or two But gosh almighty man is scared to pick a baby up and throw him around a bit But now I'll give you a piece of advice man. Yes. Now. What is that? I got doll figured out about babies I did what's called a laboratory experiment with yours used him just like a guinea. It comes darling steal yourself There's only one thing to do and it works every time whenever an infant opens his mouth to y'all put his thumb in it It works every time well, thanks for your advice mr. Tucker I don't care what the psychology books say about it all the doctors and teachers and professors They don't know what they're talking about as long as their babies a there will be thumb suckers because babies It's the most backward type of animal. You don't catch a pig or a heifer thumb sucking. Do you know babies? It works every time. It's a proof of the pudding they're inferior. Now me coffee You're a big cup mr. Tucker your saga of the night chills me to the bone all I can say is Say it again, and I'll say something else. You'll never have to take care of the baby again We appreciate you having done it and the baby appreciate you having done it But mr. Tucker my word on it never again Tutin never again Don't think I'll ever be on speaking terms with any baby again though They're always kind of have a hankering for me. Oh David now. He is away. Oh, let him how let him how did you say? You want him to bust a gusset, son? We will hurt him to howl a little that ain't no way to bring up a baby. I better go out to stay where you are ma'am That's an order stay where you are. Ain't no one going to take care of that baby howlin But Jared Tucker why that sweet helpless little thing wait till grand papi Tucker picks him up here. I come you Women organized chores better than they used to but they're still inclined to keep at housework a little too steadily and a little too Hard if you're one of those energetic home makers Why not relax reach for a nice cold bottle of coca-cola and treat yourself to the pause that refreshes You really accomplish more when you work refreshed You hear that mr. King hear what mr. Tucker dead silence not a pip squeak out the baby Amazing well, I wish you could tell me about your sister mr. Tucker, but I guess you'll have to save it Yeah, I'll save it be seeing you tomorrow mr. Tucker right tomorrow. All right. Goodbye Every day Monday through Friday Claudia comes to you transcribe with the best wishes of your friendly neighbor who bottles coca-cola So listen again tomorrow at the same time And now this is Joe King saying or if war and remember Whoever you are whatever you do wherever you may be when you think of refreshment think of coca-cola For coca-cola makes any pause the pause that refreshes and ice-cold coca-cola is everywhere This broadcast of Claudia was supervised and directed by William Brown Maloney And now here's a word from your friendly neighbor who bottles coca-cola