 Okay. Yeah. Welcome back. Welcome back. Okay. All right. We're, we're moving on to our next chapter, which is managing your home or home management. Okay. We've, we've, this is another aspect of, again, a very practical aspect of managing, marriage and the home. Right. And this is specific, just providing certain practical tips and ways on how, you know, things that may be very, maybe ordinary or things that may, may not occur to us as significant, but could be points of conflict or could be points of distress for a home. All right. So we're going to be looking at managing home, certain aspects of it, certain areas that husband and wife, husband, wife team should mainly look into. Okay. Just taking from scripture, Proverbs 24, 3 to 4, I'm on page, sorry, I'm just getting the page number. I'm on page number 84. Page number 84. Would somebody kindly read, there are two verses, Proverbs 24, 3 and 4 and Proverbs 24, 6. Could somebody kindly unmute and read the verse please. Proverbs 24, 3 and 4. Homes are built on the foundation of wisdom and understanding where there is knowledge. The rooms are furnished with valuable beautiful things. Proverbs 24, 6. After all, you must make careful plans before you fight a battle. And the more good advice you get, the more likely you are to win. Okay. Thank you, Anita. Okay. So as scripture shows, a home is built with wisdom and with understanding and it requires careful planning. So it is important to look at practical ways in how life can be made easier, can be made smoother. The home can be a wonderful place to live in. Okay. Okay. I'm sorry. I think I missed a question here. Kennedy has asked a question. What is your advice on cultural sex between married couples, guided with seasons, example planting or harvesting, maybe after burials? Okay. Kennedy, could you, would you give us, give me a background of this please, because I suppose this could be something like you said culturally. This is something that may be prevalent. Could you, would you kindly unmute and give us, give me a small background of this please? Okay. My question was, I feel like there are so many African cultural setup. There are certain factors that people do, like during planting, people have to have sex, couples, or maybe after burials. So maybe they also have a new project to mean they're doing a construction. So I just wanted to add some guidance on that kind of cultural factors that are tied to sex. You know, the cultural factors that are tied to sex, between couples. Okay. So I think it's very cultural that maybe in a specific season, they're, you know, they engage in more sex or they don't engage in sex. Is that right? Exactly. Okay. All right. So I think certain principles that we can go by is one that, that the scripture says abstinence from sex could be for a reason of, you know, prayer or fasting or, you know, probably at a time that maybe one person is unwell or, you know, those are specific reasons for it, but things that maybe culturally, I don't think that it's a cultural practice and there isn't any, I don't think it's, there is a specific yes or no to it. I mean, you can have sex as long as it's mutual in marriage among married couples, as long as it's mutually agreed upon at whenever, time, whatever season, whatever hour of the day that's perfectly okay. As long as it's not used as a weapon against one another, you know, at times of conflict or times of issues. Apart from that, I don't see this to really impact sexual experience. I'm not too sure if I'm missing something out culturally. Maybe I could just probably read through that. This is interesting because, you know, as part of our culture in the Indian culture, there is, you know, there are other specific aspects, you know, sex is not permitted when the woman is going through her menstruation or sex is not permitted. I think even there are certain days of uncleanliness that, you know, culturally that is seen and you're not allowed to engage in sexual contact also, even culture. And we see part of this also, we've seen some of this even in the Old Testament where it talks, but those were as part of the law. And we know that we are, that, you know, from the New Testament, we are at a period of grace. So those things that may have been binding earlier are not, we're not spiritually bound by those specific rituals at this point of time. So I think it's something as similar. But if there is anything else that I'll do a bit of reading on this, because I may not be completely adept to the culture that you're maybe talking about. And if there is anything further, I can definitely bring this up, Kennedy, in our next class. Right. Okay. All right. So we're moving into certain areas of managing the home. These are simple areas, but yet I think it's important to bring it up in a discussion. So the first one we're looking at is staying independently. As per scripture, which talks about in Genesis 224, it says that, you know, this is marriage is where a man leaves his father and his mother and is united to his wife and they become one. Okay. So as a good practice, it is important for couples to make a home of their own. All right. And it is necessary that they come to an agreement that where they would make their home. And these are certain things that should be discussed way before marriage, during this the time when they are preparing for marriage. Like I said, it is good for a couple to make a home for themselves, separate from their families of origin, because it helps them to learn, you know, to build their relationship with one another. It also helps them to be interdependent. It also helps them to understand how practically a home is built. So then when a couple lives separately, they have the freedom to focus on themselves and their marriage and their relationship and their home, even doing simple small things, you know, like setting up a home, ensuring that things are in order, that things are bought, all of that requires partnership, all of that requires engaging with one another. And it is good that a couple forms that. And so we do encourage that, especially in the early years of marriage, that a couple begin by living together alone, away from the parents. But a lot of times this may not be completely possible because of, you know, maybe there are certain constraints, there could be a need for financial help from the families, or there could be probably there is a widowed father or a mother, sorry, a widowed parent who may be staying alone. So as a sense of kindness and goodness to be able to stay with them. So it may not always be possible, but this should be done in mutual understanding on where the two of them plan to stay. Okay, so even if there may be an immediate member that that that may need to stay alongside with them, it should be it should be mutually agreed upon. However, there is there will be an expectation that the that the extended family does not interfere with the growing of this of this family. So, you know, either either interference either coming through the way the couple lives or how they make decisions together, how they bring up their children, how, you know, how they manage their money or how things need to be controlled. So that there those boundaries need to be placed if there is an extended family member living with the couple so that it doesn't give rise to any any any kind of a conflict. Okay, it's also possible, like we said that you may be living with, especially in our culture in the Indian culture, I and I think it's more prevalent way south of our country that staying with the wives family is not appears to be, you know, a definite question for the for the husband, right. But we understand that sometimes this is as a result of maybe it could be relocation or any other kind of practical reasons. So even even if that needs to be done, we recommend that it be short for a certain period of time till the need is met. And then they live in their separate places so that they can begin to build in in in highlighting and focusing on their own, their own togetherness and their own marriage. Okay, so that's that's one that's that's to that. Okay, and I think there's another question that's come up. What about a marriage? Okay, I think this is the previous previous chapter. What about a marriage where they're not sexually active? What advice do you have for this couple? Okay, note that they're medically okay. Alright, so sexuality in marriage is important for intimacy. And we did mention that there could be very many reasons why one person loses interest in sex. And and that which means there is an underlying factor, or there are underlying aspects that impacts the sexual relationship. So there could be many reasons. One of them, the most common one is, you know, having an emotional disconnect, emotionally disconnecting with one another. Other probable reasons could have been, you know, past infidelity, or sexual, you know, active sexual addictions that could take place. So there there usually could be a reason for that. And that's something that needs to be addressed with the couple. Often, this is under shame and under embarrassment. I've seen many couples who do not come forth with the concerns that they have, because especially in a culture that we are in, the Indian culture, it's not something that is spoken about adequately, and especially in the church, it's not something that is discussed about. But it is needed. And, you know, if the church can equip pastors and counselors to be able to handle the source of a sexual inactive relationship and address that specifically. And often, you know, when you see when the source is handled, where times build together, emotions are spoken about, there is open communication. We tend to see that there is a direct relation between the cause and the, and the, and sexuality. So I'd say definitely not a good place to be in where you're sexually inactive in a marriage. It causes a lot of temptations, it can cause a lot of disconnect and further withdrawal from one another, handing out a significant challenge to the couple. So it needs to be addressed. It needs to be dealt with as soon as possible. Okay. I think Nisha has bought about another question. I have a similar question when the husband denies completely. Every day it is an excuse and the husband gets angry and violent. They have a toddler child and for years, the husband has denied any sort of intimacy. Okay. These again, Nisha, I think I, it is similar to what I have spoken about. There seems to be some underlying factor that causes an inactive participation in sexuality. And that is what needs to be addressed. So what you've bought about here in the question is something that's in the externals of it, but there is probably something that's underlying in it as well. And to know what are some of those concerns. So there, so some of the times, some of the times, I think I want to make a mention of this also, is that there are psychological conditions where people find it difficult engaging in sex. Okay. Either it is premature ejaculation or frigidity. A lot of this have a backing to do with anxiety, with depression. And that again becomes an underlying cause for an issue into sexuality. So these are all, these all underlying issues is something that needs to be dealt with, needs to be brought up in the open and to be dealt with. Sorry, I think I have a power fluctuation. Apologies. Okay. There was another question, how should the issue of dowry be handled because it is highly abused by in laws. Okay. The issue dowry in itself by law in itself is an offense in the Indian culture, asking of dowry by law is an offense. And so there in itself, you know, scripture says, be submissive to the law of your land. Right. So if that in itself is something that is an issue, it needs to be bought up by, I mean, if it is happening within the church, it's definitely something that should be brought up and bought about in correction and to be set right. It's not permissible for abuse to happen for the sake of money or for the sake of even assets. Right. And it is something that it should be spoken about in the open and sought help definitely. But dowry in itself is something that we know is not the law of the land in the country we live in. I don't know how it is for y'all there, Kennedy, what it is there. In fact, in our culture, depending on the states that you are in dowry, I think in the south it's more dowry is given the woman gives the husband. But I know in the northeastern states, I think Samuel can correct me if I'm wrong. It's the other way around. The husband gives not dowry but gives a share to the wives family. Am I right in that Samuel? So I've heard mostly in Shillong, I think, or Meghaland, that's one state, maybe Nagaland, not in Sikkim though. Sikkim is predominantly, I think there's some Hindu background culture. So a lot of the traditional old families still follow that. But families that follow a lot of that come from a Buddhist background, Buddhist culture, which is again another predominant ancient tradition. They don't have a dowry system. And even if it's dowry, it's more like, because these are all tribal communities, the most that I've heard is where the bride group has to, when they're asking for the bride's hand, has to go to ask the bride's hand with an entire big upside down type to bamboozle carry. So the meat is what's offered as dowry, preferably an entire pot roast. And the fat of the big, the more easy to get the girl's hand. All right. Yeah, interesting. Okay. Thank you. Thanks, Samuel. All right. Okay. So I'm going on with our current lesson, right? Okay, we're going to be looking at another area is daily and weekly schedules. So something that we do see, you know, again, practically is that at this point of time, in this generation, the season of life, there are people, both the husband and the wife are working. And often it becomes difficult to manage time together, depending on certain work schedules because of the hours of work. And this impacts the family because there is minimum time to spend together. And this needs to be addressed and to ensure that priority is given to the family to priorities given to the marriage. So if it is okay, if it is possible for either the husband or the wife to make changes in their job so that, you know, the husband and wife get some time mutually to spend with one another, these are important things to be discussed before marriage, because often, and especially do I, you know, we see right now, even as young people get married, there's one person working in one shift, the other is working in the other shift, and they may get to engage with each other, maybe an hour or two a day, that's it. And that in itself can have, you know, a ripple effect, a negative ripple effect on the marriage. So working out these schedules and ensuring that there is enough of time for each other on a regular basis so that the marriage can be built into. Okay, the third area that we're going to be looking at is, yes, household chores. All right, this household chores can be many in nature. I mean, and I know all of us understand because we live in homes, there are hundreds of things to do, there's cleaning, there's cooking, there's washing, there's laundry, there's bills payments, there could be shopping, there could be maintaining, and if you have pets, there's maintaining pets, there are many, many things that can come about, come through this. And it is important to know, as against what has been traditionally brought down, that only, you know, it is only the responsibility of the woman to take care of the home, and the responsibility of the man to bring in the monies. Even now, since both could be working, it is important that both the husband and the wife share this responsibility. Sharing a task brings about a good teamwork. When you come together and decide how you're going to make your home functional, it requires teamwork, and it is a good thing to do. If it may, it is unfair if there is just one spouse doing all the work. I don't want to make the mistake of saying just the woman, because, you know, in different cultures, it's probably different, but it is unfair to allow or permit or get only one person to do all the work by themselves, because this can significantly put a strain on that one individual. And the responsibilities become more as children come by, as extended family may become dependent. So it is important right from the beginning to share household chores and serve together as a team. The next area is, I'm just going really quickly through this, because, you know, these are, you know, you can take some time to read it, and it will give you the entire perspective. The next one is the use of technology. What we didn't have probably, you know, in our parents' time, they didn't have to deal with phones and laptops and Mac. They probably just had maybe at the most radio or a TV to deal with. But now, because of the way technology has expanded so widely, so vastly, everything is on this phone. Everything is on the phone. Your life is around the phone. You know, so work happens on the phone, leisure calls happen on the phone, you know, maybe even cleanings, you know, ensuring that your room's clean happens on the phone through some kind of a robot. So everything is, you know, is on a phone or is on some kind of a device. So it is important, again, to have certain disciplines with regard to this, to the use of a smartphone, to the use of a television or anything that you may be using for entertainment or for even for work, ensuring that you're keeping the discipline of keeping away these gadgets or any kind of distraction. This includes any form of social media. It includes any form of entertainment time that you may have, that there are specific periods of time that you keep for it, but later, as part of your day, ensuring that they are kept away. So this is a practice that as you, as adults build, when children walk into the house, they also get to understand how you navigate through, you know, through technology. Okay, so that's the next one. So we've spoken about staying independently, about schedules, about household chores, about the use of technology. We'll come into something simple of family recreation and vacations. So again, important to spend time outside at anything together, doing something as a family together. It could be a vocation, it could be a certain skill, it could be a holiday, it could be just a weekend or a, you know, a couple of days out where you do things together to enjoy time together. It could be a time of playing cards together. So something that, that we generally do as family, when I go to my parents' house, my parents are aged, they are 83 and 80. And so when we gather together with our kids, we all, you know, have a couple of rounds of cards together because that keeps them engaged, keeps them distracted and there's a lot of fun and energy that gets built in that. So doing something for recreation or, you know, going on a holiday together where you're like to do something, maybe swim together or hike together, anything, it doesn't have to be expensive, it doesn't have to cost a lot of money. But even just taking a day out from work and sitting together and probably playing a game of Monopoly or anything, anything that you enjoy together really builds the togetherness at the home. So plan, ensuring to plan days of rest and recreation is very healing for the family. Okay. Another important factor is money and budgeting and financial planning. So we do see that money becomes a very significant area of conflict in marriages. Wow. I'm still having questions of sexuality coming up. Okay. I will address this once we finish Kennedy. Okay. I will keep this and address it. So money becomes an area of conflict. The reasons that it becomes a conflict is because, you know, as two people enter into barrage, they may have different values and understanding of how money is seen. So they have different ideas about how money is used or the ways of it has been saved or the kind of lifestyles that they've come from or how it has been spent, how it has been earned, how it has been saved. So when two people come together, it is important that they discuss this and understand the framework from which they're coming from. So, you know, like for example, when there is one of the spouses maybe coming from a home where things have been very frugal, whereas the other has been quite lavish and when two people come in together, they have their own ideas and concepts of how marriage, sorry, of how money needs to be used. So it often can mean very many different things. For some, it may be a sense of dependence. It can be a sense of security. For some, it can be, you know, something of not being able to trust others through that. So there are a lot of ideas that focus around money and coming to a place of talking about it, discussing what money means, because it is an essential commodity that is needed for our living and for our growing, but yet it shouldn't become something that controls us. So having discussions about it and what one feels about it, the ideas of it, how it has been used by a couple is something that definitely requires a discussion. On page, sorry, I'm just looking at the page, on page 87, there is a small table that's given for you to being able to know what is your current value with money or how do you treat money or what do you understand of money and just going through that and working this together with your spouse or with your fiance really helps to get a better understanding of the way that they see money and coming to a place of an agreement of how you would need to see money. There are certain things that I want to highlight here is when we are looking at money, there are a couple of, I think three important, four important principles that we want to bring up is the first one is an agreement to tithe. As a husband and wife being able to agree to tithe based on the scripture that we see in Malachi 3, verses 8 to 10, which says, will a man rob God, yet you have robbed me, but you say, how have we robbed you in tithes and offerings? It talks of how God would desires that we give him our first, we give him our best before we spend on anything else and we see this in Proverbs also where we are asked to honor the Lord with our possessions, with the first fruits of what we have. So when we would be in a better position and I've heard this testimony after testimony of people finding it easier to handle and having enough and more in their finances when they have been prayerfully and willingly had tithe, you know, there whatever it was due to God. So handling that is something that is important and coming to that agreement that you will tithe and it is, you will give to God's kingdom is an agreement that you come up with. The second principle that we, when we look at is being able to formulate a budget. Formulating a budget is, helps you to really figure out what are the financial needs of your family and thereby, you know, it kind of forms certain boundaries on how much you can spend and how much, as how much you can spend in relation to how much you earn. So it is important for them to come and share that and come to a place of understanding, especially in couples where there is dual income, you know, sharing the information about that income, maybe developing a plan on how they can work on categorizing their income is very important. Now, even as we're talking about budget that are certain other things that may need to be looked into, which is saving and which is investing. So when we look at, you know, and I heard this somewhere and I thought it was pretty useful, is if you're looking at 100% of money that's flowing in, the first and foremost thing you would do is tithing, like a 10% to, I mean, there's no upper limit. So you can decide that, but at least a 10%, one-tenth of what you have received. So one-tenth, so let's say a 10 to 20% of your income on tithing. The 20% can go beyond, it's not a cap, it's not a max cap, but I'm just giving you for the sake of our calculation here. A 10 to 20% of tithing, a 20% each for saving and investing, so 20% to save and 20% to invest and 50%. So depending on what you have built on a larger portion of it on spending and, you know, placing a budget on how much you will spend. So having this kind of a structure becomes very helpful to know how to deal with money. And if this can be discussed with the spouse, it really helps. Saving and investing can be done in very many ways. And the advisor always given is to meet with a financial advisor who helps and guides you in making those right choices and right choices and also smart choices on how one can save and invest. So speaking to financial advisors really help and it's no, and it's nothing wrong in planning ahead and, you know, ensuring that you use the money that God has given you wisely for you as well as for the extension of his kingdom. So there is absolutely no nothing wrong in actually meeting with a financial advisor and figuring that out. The fourth principle that we look into is to being able to set on certain short-term and long-term financial goals. Why is this important? It's because it gives you a good framework as to, you know, like everything in life. You need a good framework as to how you want to conduct yourself. Like for example, you know, if I were to take this parallely to a physical goal, maybe you have a goal to lose five kgs. So that's your maybe long-term goal, your short-term goal is, you know, ensure that you don't eat too much of sugar in a week. So that's, that's, you know, that's a goal. So similarly, that it is important to work on these goals because it gives you a framework. It helps you to come to a place of deciding how you would want to work through your goals. So what could be some of your personal goals? What could be certain long-term goals that you can identify? And this is something that you could do with with your spouse. So those goals could be even investing in something bigger in order to, you know, help the children or help in their education. But it is important to plan all of this, that this requires work and this requires preparation to do. All right. Okay. I think Anita has written, being honest in paying tight and offering has healed my daughter from wheezing. Okay. Thank you. Thank you, Anita for sharing that. Okay. The last part of it is being able to care for extended family, the care of the extended family or care for the sick in the family. And we see there are multiple number of scriptures that that emphasizes the importance of us taking care of the family. Now, if, you know, just dating back to what we said initially, we did recommend that, you know, that couples live independently. Nevertheless, it does not absolve anyone from taking care of the needs of the family. So as we do say that, you know, when you stay independently, it is in no way advocating that you do not support or, you know, disconnect from the family. It does not mean that it means to engage. It means to help. It means to honor. It means to bless your family or your in-laws or people who may be within your family setting. It is important to be of support and encouragement. What we did, what was mentioned, of course, the difference what we're looking at is maintaining those healthy boundaries and healthy relationships is a must. It doesn't mean that you disconnect or not love them because you've been married. So taking care of your parents, your in-laws, your extended family, probably caring for any elderly or widowed in the family. Again, multiple scriptures are given. I'm not going to go through each of them. It is there in the textbook. You could, you could read of it because it talks of how there is a blessing for those who take care of the poor. There are things that God sees as blessed when we give to the needs of the needy or the poor or the oppressed. So this all comes in the responsibility of managing a home, not just caring for those who may be immediately with us, but also those who are in requirements, who may have certain needs and special needs in dealing with their challenges that they may be going through. So as we've gone through this, these six or seven items we've spoken about, it is important that these things are discussed and come in agreement with, that you agree how you would address these specific areas of staying independently, of having your schedules, of managing the home, household chores, of the use of technology, of money, of budgeting, of taking care of the elderly and the people in your home. So these are in a nutshell of how these things are important in building up the home and the family. Is there any specific question on this chapter or any thoughts or any ideas that you'd like to share? If not, I can deal with Kennedy's question. Yes, Harrison? Yes, Harrison? Okay, yes. We've been dwelling around marriage in husband and wife. So I'm also looking at the aspect of administering and where you also have some matured youth who are into relationship and when you look at the relationship, some are defined and why some are not. And I'm talking out of experience because at the moment there are two sets of youth who are into a relationship in the church that is packing up feelings and it's more like everybody's against their movement, everybody's against their relationship because they feel that since they are not married, such relationship should not be encouraged. So how do we contain or how do we advise such people to deviate from such relationship so that when they're ready for marriage, okay, it can be made known. Okay, yes, we are ready for marriage then. Being in a relationship where, okay, you're now coming to circuit that we want to get married, but you're not in a relationship and you are a worker in the church. So how do we contain such situations and how do we really address it so that it doesn't bring problem or chaos in the church? Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. That's an excellent question. Okay, I want to deal with that question in a couple of parts. So the first and foremost thing I think what the message that we need to give or address is when we're looking at this word of dating or courtship, which is very commonly seen and taken on right now, there may not be direct indications and principles in the Bible about dating, but we can take on nuggets of truths from there. So the first and foremost, and I think young people which can be addressed to young people is dating is not for fun. Dating is for the purpose of marriage. Dating is not for fun. So it is the purpose of marriage. So dating is not a place where you try out somebody to find out who you're compatible with and then decide they may not be compatible. Okay, that's not biblically that I don't think is a right place. So dating should be for the sake of marriage. Now what does dating entail? Dating is not marriage, which means marriage is a place where boundaries are lose, right? There are no boundaries in marriage. Whereas in dating or in courtship, there still continues to be boundaries. And I don't just mean this by physical boundaries. I also mean this in the way of financial emotional boundaries. Now what do I mean by these emotional boundaries? Or even social boundaries for that matter? I've seen young couples, once they are in a relationship, maybe not yet decided on marriage, but in a relationship, give up everything about their lives or their calling or their productivity or whatever God has called them to do and keeps it dependent on the relationship, right? That I believe is not what God wants us to do. What God has given you to do is to be faithful, to take on whatever he has given you and to be faithful in that, in administering and ensuring that you do what you need to do, independent of that relationship. So that's something young people need to know and need to understand that even though you're in a relationship, maybe to be married or maybe yet to decide, it is important you maintain those boundaries. Even the way that you spiritually, yes, connect, yes, there is a time that you may pray together, come together, but does that eat into things of your own? Does that eat into your intimacy with God? Does this earthly relationship hamper on the relationship that you're building with God? Your time of word, your time of study, your time of prayer, your time of fasting, your time of fellowship with those outside, your calling, that impacted. So these are certain boundaries that we need to help young people to understand that that's something that needs to be maintained. I think another thing, of course, this I know maybe a lot cultural as well, but I think it definitely has a biblical guideline is getting the approval of elders, especially the family and other elders in the, maybe in the church of knowing that this is an accepted relationship. It is due to come together and marriage. Another piece of practical advice that I would say is if a couple has decided to be married, to ensure that it be done at a specific period of time. I mean, I wouldn't like to say time, but not prolonging it over months and over years and staying single and yet being in a place of falling into temptation. So these are certain principles I'd say is something that those of us maybe in ministry and probably in a higher position of ministry being able to help the young. Like I was saying, as part of our youth groups, as part of our, I remember a couple of years back, we had an entire youth meeting on dating and these were certain things that we bought forth, that there is a time, that there is a season, that is a reason for dating. It cannot be done all because it's culturally accepted. I mean, you don't engage in it all because it's culturally accepted or everyone's doing it or, you know, someone's fits you well. No, it is there for the reason of, for the purpose of marriage and it should have certain, you know, certain discipline of time, certain discipline of boundaries that you're able to keep as well. I hope I answered your question. Yes, please. Thank you. Yes, thank you. Okay, someone's asked, okay, I'm just going to go back. There was some, Kennedy asked a question, how do you improve your sexual life if it has become monotonous, boring and not exciting? The key is communication, Kennedy. Talking about how it can be improved, it's like, you know, if you want to do a makeover of your home, you know, you and your wife want to do a makeover of your home, you would talk about it and say, here, how can we make this better? Right? Similarly, it is by communication. And often we see couples don't talk about sexuality sex, you know, in marriage. They don't talk about it. They don't talk about the experience they've had. They don't talk about what they want. They don't talk about what seems desirous to them. It could be very simple practical things, maybe just getting some, you know, like, the body of a woman is very appealing for her husband, right? So just having some good clothes or, you know, a lack of it, maybe, just being able to doing something that will spice up that time of engagement. And I think that's something, and I mean, this is very individual in nature, right? So discussing and talking and communicating about it definitely builds a lot more excitement in it. Okay, there's another question. Okay, we are time, but if you can give me five minutes, we can just address these questions. Slightly off topic, I have a question on marriage vow that came up during a conversation sometime last week. Is it asked of us to not take any vows and a yes to be yes and a no to be no? Okay, this is a commitment. Okay, I don't know how different this is. Okay, Samuel, I just need some time to think. I can't think of something off my head on this. I'm just going to take your question. And I'm just going to, can I address it next time, Samuel, please? Because I don't want to say something that may be an error. Yeah. Okay. So Shri Komar says, how can we guide someone who wants to be in a living relationship? You don't guide someone, you can tell them that that's not, that is definitely not in God's view of a relationship, a living relationship is sin. So if they're believers, you can tell them, hey, buddy, you know, that this is outside of what this is sexual sin. Pastor, can I? Yeah. Yes, yes, please. Yes, Shri Komar. Yeah, the pastor in case if they have already decided like, you know, that they wanted to be like, they have already decided in their mind. So my question is not to guide them for that. Because they decided in their mind that, you know, they wanted to get married together and they wanted to decide that whether this, they are made for each other or not. Actually, this female has discussed with her mother and not father but her mother, but she approached me and she asked me to pray for it. So that's why I just wanted to know that in this case is like, no, she's very young, like, no. And she wanted to stay with the boy and wanted to find out that whether he's a suitable person or not. So in that case, how we have to counsel or how we have to take, how to guide them. Thank you. Yeah. All right. Harrison, do you have an answer to him? And if you have, you can, or was the other question? What he just said now is very, very important. That was why I asked that question. Because, you know, when we look at it in this situation we're talking about, can be very, can be very, very sensitive. Because when parents have consented to the relationship, then what, what can you do about it? So it's either, okay, you want to accept it or you want to see how you can manage this whole situation or you're like, okay, go ahead, you know, but I cannot, you know, have this, you know, under my watch. And it's more like, okay, you've made them, you know, leave the church or something and people want to blame you for, for things, you know, that you feel that, you know, is the right thing to do. So in a case, you know, like this is just something that Grace, you know, has to speak. So I'm just like, yeah. Yeah. I think one of the specific things is we bring the word of God to them. And we need, we cannot, we don't mince God's word. We say what God's word says, which is sin. A live in relationship is sin. Even if they claim that they may not be sexual interactions, it is still, it is, it is sin, right? To a man and a woman living under one roof is, you know, it's like playing with fire, right? An unmarried man, unmarried woman living under one roof is playing with fire. We need to present God's word as it is and say what they are engaging in is sin. And that as a minister, as a pastor is something you need to communicate not just to the couple, but maybe to the parents who may be willing for this engagement or for the, for this, for the way that it is, it is on. So that's something that as a minister, we should be doing to being able to bring about corrective discipline over their lives. Yes, what they do in the four walls of their home maybe is not something that you may have control over. But, you know, as the scripture says, when, when your brother is wrong, you know, go gently lead them, gently rebuke them, take the elders of the, of, of the church to do so and to, to be able to get them out of the sin that they are in. But if they continue to refuse to do that, I think you need to take a call on how it impacts the rest of the community, the rest of your fellowship because there are other young people watching, right? And I'm sure Harrison, that's what you also have in mind that there are maybe this couple is an example to many people. And if they seem to be in sin, you're also permitting or allowing something that, that, that shouldn't be to be prevalent. So that's when you, you can take a call with the elders of your church to decide on how you would like to bring about further discipline if after a couple of warnings in love and in patience, having done so, if they're not able to do that, you know, you can come to a place of making those decisions. If they go ahead. Yes, Harrison. Okay. It's just, it's just like there's a situation I addressed and there's one thing I said and ministry is not being emotional or, you know, doing ministry is not you being emotional because you've been emotional, you go against in a God's will. And if you really love somebody, you should be, you should be, should be able to be bold and confident enough, you know, to tell them the truth, you know, when it's even difficult to tell them the truth, because there are some times, you know, you just want to bend the truth, you know, so that you don't hurt people. But it's better you tell the truth. So let it hurt whoever needs to hurt. Absolutely. You know that you've done the right thing. Absolutely. That's what, that's what I want to share. Thanks. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you, Harrison. All right. We are, we have crossed 11 o'clock. And I think there is one more question from Christopher. Christopher, I'm going to take down your question. And we will address this. I think Christopher's question. Yes, about leaving the church, how do you ask someone to leave the church? Okay, we will address this next time. I'm going to take this question as well, as well as Sam's question. And the question that Kennedy bought up on Saragasi, we will look at these questions when we meet next time. All right. Thank you so much. Let's just close with a word of prayer, please. May I ask, may I ask somebody to pray? Nisha, would you kindly pray, please? Nisha? Nisha? Okay. Nisha's in there. Okay. All right. Anybody else? Rose? Rose, would you like to pray, please? Yes, Pastor. Sure. Please go ahead, Rose. Father in heaven, we thank you for today. We thank you for the past two hours that we have learned about your ways, your holiness, your principles, Father. Father, we thank you that you have supplied the wisdom and the words that you have spoken through, Pastor Jean, today. Father, we thank you that this online school, you are making us more equipped in the knowledge of you and your ways. Thank you that you have gathered us into one place from all far corners of the world. Thank you for making us, giving us the understanding, Father, especially in this subject that we have about marriage, Father. Thank you, Father, that you are letting us grow more and more, Father, in the knowledge of making our marriages for those of us who are a marriage, Father, for our marriage to be solid and based on your word. Father, make the understanding we receive today take root in our hearts and let them bear fruit. And as we carry on our ways and our individual callings that you have placed in our lives, direct us with the word, direct us with your Holy Spirit and let us not only be hearers but also doers and enforcers of what you say and command. Father, we ask this all in the name of your Son, Jesus Christ. Amen. Amen. Amen. Thank you, Rose. Thank you, Pastor. Thank you all. Thank you so much. We will meet next week. Is that your little yonfa, Samuel? Thank you. Thank you all.