For those of you dropping in from TVtropes, allow me to be the first to apologize for my less than spectacular singing skills. However, if you wish to check out some other tracks that don't involve as much of my annoying voice, be sure to skim through my channel a bit. If you look, you'll also find 'The Curb Stomp Song: Kareoke Edition' available at no extra charge.
Now back to your regularly schedules program:
Back by Popular Demand... (Er... right.) It's: The Curbstomp Song.
While I am not the best of singers, I promise at least a mind numbingly silly performance.
Up in space, their ships go BOOM!
In a pyrotechnic doom.
On the ground, no hope is found
As they die in burning mounds.
Lacking tech, like fire and wheel.
Going up against cold steel.
Strategy?! Well they just rush.
THERE'S NO FOOLS THAT THEY CAN CRUSH!
Their invasion's meltdown!
Ground to dust by unarmed clowns!
All that's left: To wait and see.
Whether they will fight or flee!
There's no need for kryptonite.
Or stake, or LIGHT!
There's some fights that just ain't fair.
But it's FUN to gawk and stare.
"When a fight is just plain wrong!
We all sing the curbstomp song!
People dying left and right...
It's a SLAUGHTER not a fight.
Start a brawl that can't be won.
See the boots eclipse the sun.
Either swallow bitter truth.
Or eat CURB and lose a tooth.
Ill equipped with laser guns.
That explode when set to stun.
Using armor made of rags.
Nothing's left for body bags!
With a weakness SO painful.
Quite annoying, and shameful.
Kids with H.2.O. Ballons.
Oh so gaily MELT THESE GOONS!
Their assault's a FAILURE!
Putting guns on Super Tankers.
Now just watch...
And you will see...
Battles, that should NEVER BE!
Here they come, they're charging us!
Why should we put up a fuss?
It's a war that won't last long.
And why I sing: THE CURBSTOMP SONG!
"Oh! Oh! I know! A hundred berserkers in full plate mail against a Roman Phalanx!"
"No man, that's not a curbstomp."
"What about the russian army armed with pistols against guys with sub-machine guns?"
"You're not thinking big enough man. Try more extreme."
"Uh... A team of ninja vs a tentacle monster with a rocket launcher?"
"What the hell?! Go sit down before you hurt yourself."
"What about sending special forces in to take out an orc camp?"
"You're getting it now. Keep it up."
"A vampire with a bad attitude wi-and a particle cannon against Red Coats."
"That's a stomp if I ever heard it."
"Oh! I know! A fleet of star cruisers with giant energy cannons taking on an infestation of zombies in a city!"
"Ground zero man. I can taste the concrete!"
"A vampire, a wizzard, a battleship, a dragon-"
"Against a monk, a settler, and a coal miner in a cattle wagon."
So when a fight's a slaughter.
Not any quarter given.
Just sing along to the Curbstomp Song
And ask yourself:
"Why can't we just get along?"