 Word for it is necrophiliac. So like what you have there's heaps of people out there's a whole community You can probably get in touch with someone else Exactly you can go on some chat rooms matter. We love. Yeah. Welcome to episode number 26 of the mighty Michael fully actual podcast Oh, man, we come to you with some broken hearts. We're trying not to swear in the first 10 minutes I don't honestly. I don't think that'll make that much of a difference because of all the content We already have out in the world guys. It's starting to happen. So starting like three days ago I got a notification saying that one of the podcast has been age restricted and age restricted means you basically Even if you search the exact title Usually you can't even see it. Is this another one? No Usually you can't even see it Well, doesn't the video won't even come up and like it literally just stops it may as well just be deleted All right, it's basically that's what it means and it's not good And then after that shortly after that more came in more came in and since I think we've had 10 videos age restricted in the last three days So it's it's happening. We've spoken about it. We knew it was going to happen. Here comes the censorship train Headed straight for our backs and we're just sitting at the park enjoying a picnic And we don't even see the train choo choo train Its engine is full of steam and it's just powering towards us maybe 150 miles now Both of us both of us and matt's sitting in front of us. He can see it coming But he doesn't know how to explain it Matt's just saying like I don't what like pointing and we're just like matt come on and then back the train is now 10 meters away and This is what happens. Okay first age restrictions Then videos start getting deleted and we get strikes and then the channel gets deleted It could happen like if fucking like that So if you wake up one day and our youtube channel isn't there That's what's happened our videos have started getting deleted and we've started getting strikes. So we're a bit fucking Shit, we've it sucks dude. I just swore man Oh, you suck So we talked about and we're like oh, maybe we'll try and tone it down for the first five minutes And then just go back to normal and we'll also And comment and tell us what you think about this like we we're think considering just toning it back a little bit With the gross shit in particular Because we know that youtube hates gross shit. We've had shit removed from our main youtube channel for being too disgusting Do you remember when I got put that shit on on your mouth from with the toilet brush? Yeah. Yeah So that was too disgusting Um, and it got removed. So I have a feeling that we're in I thought we'd be much bigger When this started happening to be honest and we have some more options The other thing Is um, we've started matt browns only fans Well, not matt browns. It's the fully actual only fans that brown will feature heavily in her Because it's what he's wants to do is dress up in silly clothes and be all fancy and sexy He keeps saying he wants to be sexy. He keeps messaging me But it's it's fucking what's the latest with that? We've got to do send some documents in because we're all in the profile. Yeah, it's gone so hard Now you they expect for the profile picture to just have one person in the profile picture If there's more than one person then the other two picture The other two people in the picture have to send in their consent to say i'm okay for being on this only fans account So it's like so fucking fucked up. So we're just gonna put a photo of our logo. I think we'll try that Yeah, we could do the podcast logo the first stage has happened. We've actually created it now We've just got to like confirm it. Yeah, we're going to get it verified and then we're going to start posting to it And I think we're probably going to start posting our podcasts to it If we ever do need to post all of our podcasts to the only fans Don't worry. We're not going to charge you guys to listen to the podcast ever But fuck it would suck if the youtube train so much work hit us in the back Like so I guess yeah, so demotivating if you can Go because it's free the only fans go follow that just for safety in case That's if you can we may need to verify it first, but it's like live now We've set it up. Well the guys need to actually sign up to only fans to actually be able to follow it Yeah, but I think it's really is it easy to sign up to only fans You can sign in with twitter, but like to make it count isn't hard at all Yeah, so to sign to sign up to only fans is easier if you're like just consuming the content But if you're a content creator and only fans, it's fucking tricky really tricky now They're making a very difficult application But the client I sent in a photo of myself and my ID card And they said that's not the same. What the fuck were you doing making an only fans? Sorry Are you making only fans julien? julien's just Slipped up and said that he's made an only fans, but he couldn't get verified even though he sent in the right documentation, I hope that doesn't happen asked You're beautiful julien. You're a beautiful mexican boy. I love you julien So that's the fucking shit that's happened uh this week. It's not good. Yeah, fuck. It's a that's rough That's rough So yeah, just for safety if you can be bothered creating only fans or just sign up to only fans and follow it It's free. Yeah. Yeah, we'll make it free and we'll slowly start pushing people there and well Hopefully, I don't know, but we'll see what we can do about all these videos getting age restricted and that's Imagine this is the last week. Shh. Don't even put that out there, man. Don't even put you take that back quick reach out I nearly got away from you, man. I'll wait for you Yeah, okay, so but we're gonna keep fucking pushing. We love doing the podcast and we love that it's growing and swelling And sick fucks So please if you can't support us any other way just fucking subscribe Give it a big old thumbs up And just comment some shit. Okay, if you can't think of a comment just comment the best Or just the word comment or even just a strange sentence. Yeah, just a strange sentence. It's nice when i'm high It's funny to read weird shit. Yeah, so we read all the comments. There has been some really good ones Fucking love sitting down at the end of the day after the podcast come out and just fucking Getting high and reading the comments. It's so it's so different to like a normal video because it's like Yeah, I get you you guys just get us. You know what I mean You know who we are. I can't do you know what I mean? Can't you are us? But anyway, the sponsors of this podcast. We've got fucking manscape.com So if you want to buy any male grooming shit like shavers and waxes and eyebrow fuckers and eyelid Togtogs You just fucking go to manscape.com and use our discount code fully actual 20 All right, and that gives you 20% off whatever you buy So if you need some male grooming shit Anyway, you may as well just go to manscape.com because it's really good quality It's better than what you can get at carls and woollies matt And you get 20% off So fucking suck on that one. And of course his podcast has also brought you by the university of marco our subscription website Where we post weekly like vlogs 30 minutes long. We do fucking fucked up shit that we can't post to social media All right, that's where we post it. It's so fucking disgusting Sometimes I even think like this is too much our website is too fucking disgusting We need to steer away from the fucked and more some just some classic brutal physical pain humor All right, man, but anyway, it's a 21 day free It's a 21 day free trial. So the link's in there So you just fucking sign up you can see if you like the videos if you like he's starting if you know He's unsubscribed. It's fucking easy and PayPal is available now for all you. Oh, we did it PayPal is available now to fucking sign up to come. Do you know what I'm fucking saying come Is there anything else that's fucking happen come That we need to fucking go over come is that five minutes? Can I swear now? You swore 28 times Whoa You've been keeping tally swearing swearing gets videos demonetized, but it certainly doesn't get them age restricted or For now, I bet you it does or it will Yeah, well, it hasn't like it, you know, yeah, no they've eased up on it YouTube realizes that they've they've literally eased up on this way. Oh, yeah, you did say that at least 24 of them were f bombs and the rest was c bombs and really swearing and then but you said it all in the space of like Yeah, if you come by what it's like it's like a negative with a negative Just an expression It's just how people fucking express themselves can't like if I want to fucking drive a point home Can't I'll fucking throw an f-bomb in and I'll fucking pepper it and fucking dust a bit of Cunt on top of it cunt. Yeah, that's just how I fucking talks. How communicate can't share everyone I fucking knows I fucking talk like this can't share you don't have to copy it You don't have to fucking choose to be offended by it cunt. It's just how a fucking talk you dumb bitch. She Tell us about the uh scammer you had this week or last week. Oh, yeah, I've been um Because this is a scam and damned us on instagram. It was in saturday night. I was at home. I'd had a few cheeky sucks of Ah And um, I got this message from this scam and I thought to myself Oh, I'm gonna tell you a fuck with this guy and then I started fucking with him And I was posting screenshots to the instagram story and I got him I made him call me king mardos by the end come waste fucking hour his time Really? He's called me king mardos come he got him to call him king mardos. Why? So he'll send him money Oh, I see I see and the conna McGregor the instant. I don't know if anyone's been seeing it Like we get ta every time conna McGregor posts now we get tagged like a hundred times It's instantly as soon as he's tagged. So like I feel obligated now to comment on all this post If you've started it you may as well continue but now people are like, uh, you guys it's getting pathetic You guys just hunting for attention. It's fucked. You guys are doing it on the coach They say But man hurts my feelings man and I fucking love ripping the haters to shreds in the comments because they're so fucking like It's so stupid to get offended at a fucking comment McGregor would laugh if you saw them. He wouldn't get angry. So calm down. You fucking psychos. It's no flake world But Like keep it up if people are tagging you they want it. So there's gonna be haters without losing a lot of followers That's okay. The first time I did it. Yeah, we lost like trust it Do it for a while. I did it. I just went nuts and started commenting on so many like trending posts And yeah, we lost like a couple of thousands in like a space of two hours. Why would you let it grow? Give it a go followers from commenting on because when people are scrolling through their news feed They would see if they follow us Marty and Michael the top comment as on every single post as they scroll down And I guess some people just get annoyed at that Like oh fucking attention seekers And then they think that us because they follow us that us commenting on this post is pushing it to their feed or something Wasn't there a comment about some dude saying oh, you guys get paid Some dude's like, oh, this fucking comments got thousands of likes. I wonder how much money con is made from this You guys are just trying to make con of money They have no idea how social media works. You know him silly boy Um, well, there you go fucking I reckon continue who votes continue julian I can continue Um, but yeah, the podcast is in a we might have to rein it in guys. I don't know. We'll see how we go But we'll fucking look We're fucking no matter what we're gonna keep doing this fucking podcast even after we have to start again And we're always if there'll be a video version, I guess here on only fans But we'll just do a live traveling show forever We should also it's always going to be run spotify soundcloud all those other platforms, right? Yeah, the the audio versions have had no problems at all. So you can always listen to it in audio, but That's a lot more. It's just not the same. It's more intimate. It's more intimate when you can see the arse cheeks parting and And we you know, there's little things you miss without the video Yeah, exactly. You see our faces, right? Other than that nothing else has really happened a I can't remember much anymore. What are we doing the weekend? Uh, we played a bit of golf We did dude. Fuck me. Michael's been practicing a lot in his spare time. I played 52 holes of golf in one day It's a part three course, but still that is fucking a hole in one. I was this far like six inches From getting a fucking hole in one. Is that a six inches ammo? Is that correct? I don't know. That looks smaller Yeah, I think of a subway half a subway. Oh, okay. Yeah about that That's all I do my measuring anyway. Sorry half a sub Yeah, dude very fine and matt you're improving Yeah, I did. I've got a couple of threes. You got a par. I was very impressed So anything else happy times and they're going a bit straighter Um, yeah, so that's the update with the only fans as well Hopefully we'll have it up and running maybe even when this episode's out if it is we'll put the link in the description And if not, um, hopefully in the following week or whatever, we're just gonna have to figure all these little obstacles out But yeah, that's that's the issues we're running to at the moment, but fucking What can you do just keep on fucking truck and brother? Yeah, our fucking sense of humor is um, it's not it's not right for the world. It's gone It's too much It's too much for the people out there and they can't handle it. Here's some diary entries What's that saying speaking of humor that people can't handle Here's the diary entries come wasting handle like that handle Let's hear you say it handle handle handle handle handle handle handle handle handle handle handle Fucking Aussie cunts handle fucking articulate your fucking word you dumb cunts handle handle handle Two ends looking at hands sexy Oh, too much. I can't see too much. It's no Diary entry number 133 from Michael Corrie Brookhouse today. I woke up in a wet patch I was at my girlfriend's house and needed to act fast. I tried drying it with my pants But it wasn't fully working I ripped the sheet off the bed and squeezed as much piss out as possible I panicked and flipped the mattress then I realized problem solved All you have to do when you piss the bed is flip the mattress as long as you like two nights before pissing yourself again You will be fine. Maybe I will write a book. I wish I could read And that is something that Michael did figure out in his journey to his 30s If anyone ever wants to animate something can you please animate that? Yeah, well, yeah, it works because the gravity um, if you like piss and it's wet You got to act quickly because the piss will eventually soak in through the mattress entirely But if you flip it it'll soak back to the surface and dry and then leaving the other side completely I've seen it work. It's well. It's pretty impressive That just hasn't worked with girlfriends, but it does work and so Michael He wouldn't even like it to begin with he maybe would drag his mattress out and let it bake in the sun for a few hours They kill all the smells and stuff, but it got to a stage where Michael was very happy just flipping the mattress Going back to sleep It got too heavy it got too heavy down the stairs too full of piss So one bed shout out to you guys somehow it just goes to the piss like disappears into another dimension I remember on our boys trips We would um, we would get there and everyone would be running in and picking their room and getting all excited And like our friend James would be making Michael's nest in the in the bathtub Every boy's job is you We just always build Michael a little nest Bath tubs if you're fucked up They're comfortable. You're gonna sleep in it. Fine. I always worry that we're gonna come in the next morning And he'll be face down drown Dire enter number 102 from marty Today, I got to play with my rocks Once a month mum lets me play with them on the weekend The rocks even look like real people if you close your eyes and imagine real people It makes me smile inside. It was a very good day today It's different at the end Oh Dire enter number 69 from julian james tennyson woods from ashgrove 40 60 till I die Today I'll practice karate in my room I can bracket broomstick with more kicks now and broomsticks have the same strength as armbands It's good to train yourself in combat especially with the way I'll live my life Because like you just never know when some counts gonna rock up more territory I'm probably like a red belt in karate now all self-taught from youtube videos I'll reckon at this right. I should get my black belt tomorrow or the next day. I ha ha you stab grapple swing down point stab run That fucking if that's a laugh what you just did that's intense Oh very good diary entry number 889 from matthew gregory brown Stop funny I was observing my semen sample in a petri dish It was chunky and light brown similar texture to beef mints I could see my individual sperms sprinting aggressively from one side of the petri dish to the other It looked like brown maggots crawling all over each other I gently touched the sampler with my finger and immediately the sperms started attacking it I could feel them biting and they very quickly started crawling up the length of my finger I could even hear the sperms screaming. I quickly retracted my finger and wiped the biting sperms off It was time to try my next experiment I picked up a single strand of hair that I had collected from a girl's hairbrush I dropped it into the petri dish and the reaction was horrific My sperms enveloped the hair within the blink of an eye and then they devoured it After the small meal my sperms were moving quicker appeared to be thicker and were now all pulsing in perfect unison It was beautiful to watch but also quite scary I had a human tooth which I wanted to try next I'd gotten the tooth from a girl that I had punched in the face as high as I could a few months ago As soon as I dropped the tooth in again my sperms swarmed and devoured it in seconds They had another growth surge and began overflowing the petri dish Their little voices had gone from high pitched squeaks to more of a deep chant They started scattering across my table and I was losing control I grabbed the overflowing petri dish and flung it out of my bedroom window I quickly wiped the sperms up with a towel but as I was doing so I heard screaming coming from outside I rushed over and saw that out on the footpath a girl was frantically grabbing at her hair and face My petri dish was laying right next to her with my brown mince sperm splattered all over her upper body The petri dish must have hit her in the face I quickly lowered myself so that no one could see me through the window The girl was screaming in pain as my strengthened brown sperms were eating her flesh and entering her body via her mouth Ears and eyes. They were very quickly overpowering her I glanced down and saw my little brown had become stiff and electric with excitement I clasped my hand around my little brown and started extracting I kept watching the girl who was now lying on the ground fighting to breathe The sperms had eaten through her skin and her skeleton was exposed underneath Each individual sperm was now the size of a mouse and they had found the girl's ovaries and had removed them I felt a lust streak concentrate in my ball bag and more brown mince surged from my core It gushed and gushed straight into my hand and it burned as hot as melted cheese The girl outside was now 100 percent skeleton and I and I saw my now possum sized sperms scatter away I think my experiment was a bit of a hot disaster. I laughed as I flicked my deflated testicles Life is such a lottery sometimes Dude, that was so fucked up Also on this episode by the way, he's fucking we're gonna do have we got any secrets? Yeah, all right. We got we're gonna do some secrets We've got questions, of course and julien will be taking this evening's fucking prank call And he's got a story for us. Maybe if he can think of one in the time frame that I've just said this And a fucking short one julien. I want you here for the next half an hour. All right Oh, yeah, so that's uh, let's move on to the fucking questions. I guess I love you julien Do you want secrets or questions for um, let's do questions first Remember if you want your question answered all you gotta do is comment on our youtube channel Comment your question and the ones who get the most likes are the ones that we answer So have a scroll through and if you see question wants to answer give it a like Fuck who knows? All right. Just keep commenting your questions. Keep commenting Keep liking the fucking shit because youtube doesn't show our videos to anyone and we rely solely on you guys to get the word out there about our podcast My love you julien Julien just hinted at me that we have a story julien What's what's the title? What's the title julien girl? I found outside my house Um, it's from james burn Uh, when do we get to meet michael's mum? marty has teased us for so long I don't know. I don't know if our parents will ever want to come on this. I don't think so Because it's not really it's not a it's not something to be proud of My laugh is a screaming in pain But we um, we should fucking after this we should contact our Oh And see um, if they have any old kids photos and videos that we can show to you guys because that will be a cute thing I know I'd like to see a little brown and quest and playing on a playground We did like a circus in the street so Yeah, he when he was a kid he did a circus in the street and there's footage of it I've seen it and he's laugh. I was happy to clown His laugh is you know, he's he's fucking deep man smokers laugh He had that exact same laugh when he was like six years old. Really? I can't remember it Yeah, that that picture that coming out of a six-year-old's fucking throat I like the screaming in pain Okay, fuck next question. Um, next question is perfect. Um, it's from James Kirk Patrick. Um We always apologizes for asking another question. I think it's the sorry. Yeah, it's the sorry thing that was the new face Sorry, sorry Sorry, dude Has any of michael's street where he lives? Um, complained about the noise or screams No, it's pretty long way away Yeah, they're all lovely Yeah, and everyone's been quite nice Uh, he also asked if I'd ever do pranks and I'd leave that with a question mark Yeah, you're a little pray call man. We'll call your mum I don't know. I wasn't sure if he was referring to pranks or pranks out in the wild Nigel Thornberry Malaysia Our next question is from lake mcbogan um If you guys could choose to be uh, one of the jackass guys like if like your favorite guy Who would it be? Like if you could be one of them No, if you could be bam or if you could be steve. So like who is our favorite? Basically who's your favorite, but who you would be I don't know be because like you can't be any of them They're all fucking they're all so Tough lives, but it'd be cool. I guess to be Johnny Knoxville because he has the biggest balls And fucking he's like the he's the fucking the leader of the ring leader Yeah, I think personal favorite for me was always Ryan Dunn but like I wouldn't want to be him He did do one of the best one of my favorite jackass ones the um chris ponteas is up there though Fuck I love the car the car and the asshole and they go to the door. Oh, that's that's the best scene in the first film That's like that what stole the show like It's so well, I think it got offered to steve. Oh and he declined it I like would you do that? Would you stick? Like something up your ass and go get an x-ray? Well, I've had a finger in there. So I might as well take the next step. Yeah, I guess maybe I would if it was for a movie That's nothing. Yeah Well, it's not nothing it's something it's look at it's like fucking It's made it in history of one of the most fucked up stunts ever But like it's not hard to do you just shove something up your ass go get an x-ray Then you're the fucking star of the show. Oh, so you're saying it's not very hard. No, I'm saying it's good But it's really doable. It's really doable Michael saying it's easy. Next question is from Question for the podcast in a video on the main channel called pass out make compilation Is the last scene at four minutes where michael is rising from the ashes as a phoenix? Is it real? Yeah, I think I was him waking up after I know what he's talking about. You know what you're talking about with a No, the very last clip when I I'm commentating us and the phoenix rises from the ashes and michael like Sits up and he's just coming out of one of his fucking hangover sleep comers Fucking love that video. That's got like That's got like nearly a million views on youtube and shit They also said they would love to hear the story behind that night if you can That's another blood But some of those night like we were so fucking twisted in that video in particular like we That's the some of the vids is from the night that we pushed it to the limit Yeah, there was some like yeah drug benders in there that one where you were in And you kept trying to scream. No, but your voice was so gone And you wouldn't stop because he couldn't sleep and I was trying to sleep And what was like probably like 11 a.m at this stage And every sort of like 30 seconds, I'd switch off and couldn't keep my eyes open and he just pour water on me every single time He gets so wet and cold And it's such a shock, dude. It sucks because I'm out every 30 seconds. I go to sleep. I'm out Like I turn off every 30 seconds Dang wake up. It's great. It's great work Next question is from dank productions. Uh question is for mr. Brown What was your most recent depraved adventure or is that to be spooned in a diary entry? It will definitely remain in diary entries and there's no way We've seen some questions about questants some interesting question question What are requests for questants and look we um, we decided that I'll reach out to him Okay, Matt's given me his phone number and I'm just going to try and gauge how he's going to be if we get him on but obviously Matt you won't be able to be here So we might get question on as a guess because like just out of curiosity to see just how accurate those diaries It's been a long time since we're in the same room. Yeah, no, I just don't want to risk it So maybe if you're just not here and we'll just get question and then when question leaves I'll call you and you can come I just don't want to see that you know what I mean I don't want to see question trying to overpower Matt and then Matt turning on him and fucking him and the brown men's shield He's trying to move in with me Shut up. No, he is I'll show you the messages. I'll show you the messages She'll get out of control so Next question is from Ryan Ferdinand Ferdinand Fuck he even said in his question. I'm just going to fucking him up He literally said in his question. I was going to ruin his name Fernando will call him Fernandez Fernandez. I got it I got it Ryan Fernandez. I got it Um question is from my king Matos Um, I have a dash hand. I was wondering if you could say your oh, sorry if you can Give me the proper pronunciation of dash hand in your native language I'm so fucking cute now is it Fucking little Oh Next question is from Richie Bates. We always hear about negative fan reactions Did you ever have a positive fan reaction to what just in general in general? Yeah, he's the positive outweigh the negative like holy shit, but heaps I don't know. We don't talk about negative fan reactions. Maybe that it's been a question before But yeah, no no everyone everyone most like 99 of people of you are fucking lovely legends Next question is from momentary madness. Do you think bounding backwards should be in an olympic sport 110 percent? I've seen it now firsthand and it's like It's it's hard to look away, but it's also really really disgusting It's sort of cute. It gives me a vibe of like the Care Bears show. It's quite a spectacle That's what I feel like you look like when you do it matt We posted a picture of a video of matt bounding backwards home Um, so if you want to go have a look have a look at your instagram On the marty and michael. Is it just marty and michael fully actual? Yeah pod podcasts. It's on instagram The fucking golly bottle two by the way, look, I don't know if we should even Be talking about it now now that youtube started age restricting our content is the word golly about to say but well, we certainly won't show it but the the video it's that Membrals like 3k likes and then michael will do a shot of the golly bottle. It's only on like 1.2k. So it's like fail I thought maybe we could get there like you guys and me and we could do this to him together, but It's like there's a lot of people saying that a lot of me sick Yeah, a lot of people. Yeah, I get it. I get it. But you know, we asked Golly pro or golly con and you saw the comments mostly more pro right way Actually, I don't know. I was doing the numbers I'm sorry. It's fairly even. Oh really? Yeah, maybe fucking there's some new comments since I first looked all right Well fair enough then I get it if I'm nearly twisted sick fucking wants to see that I apologize for pressuring you guys so much to do it. I'll give you guys a hundred dollars I'll like the video right now and then DM us proof of Marty and Michael main account And I'll give a hundred dollars of my personal money to someone Okay, a hundred dollars just like that like and if if another Thousand people do it like you got a one in a thousand chance of winning a hundred dollars. That's like 10 percent Oh Next question is from blue blue swift. Oh, um That's car. I thought you were gonna fight then blue blue swift is car. I did a fight outside before Julian I was like, oh should I hold and Julian's no no just do it now. Fuck it. Fuck the podcast No, I'll fucking all right. I'll fucking let it out now then fuck man So really I've missed him even during the day. You haven't given me anything. I don't know what's wrong with me anymore, man Oh, the other day after after I had beans for lunch All right night that fucking night that the previous night you have a big bean meal on monday night Yeah, I'll have to bean it up on monday nights a whole Yeah, have a whole can even I reckon in the morning if you can have them for brekkie Bake beans. Did they do it? Yeah. Yeah beans at bake. Dude beans, bro. All right bake beans come All right blue swift has asked You boys oh, sorry sometimes after I'm I love you really Um, could you boys get a mold made up of your little browns and put them on the podcast desk a mold? Yeah, so you know people can get molds of their browns. I reckon that'd be Deleted it's like Animated nudity that would can come down to and youtube would delete that that is how fucking All right next question is my favorite fan rootin tootin putin Um, how do you guys come up with your skits or segments? Uh, they symptoms of schizophrenia or influenced by experiences. Oh, it's usually just that's funny A general idea and then it just is like half improvise and we just we've come up with ideas Live on this podcast. Well during episodes. Yeah, but with the skits that sometimes it depends. It's very sometimes They're completely scripted and written out and sometimes they just just like oh, I've got an idea Yeah Like the cats. Yeah, the cat ones on tiktok Just act like cats. That's what you guys want to see. You are the cat guys now We're the crazy cat boys Next question is from kassana kassana nana. Um Have you guys ever thought of doing a backwards olympic video? The olympics backwards. Oh, sorry Following on from map rounds bounding backwards. Have you ever thought of doing a backwards olympic video? Yeah, everything back but backwards so javelin backwards. You chuck it over your fucking shoulder. You got discus Chuck over your fucking shoulder. You got shot. Would you fling it over your fucking shoulder you run backwards hammer throw You're fucking flinging over your fucking shoulder. You're bound hurdles. You're fucking flinging yourself Over your shoulder. I can guarantee you there is no fucking way. We're doing that Keep it with the theme of olympics mtb brody asked um for 2032 and brismans olympics because we're having the olympics Here, did you know michael? 2032 so games. Would you like to oh, sorry? What sports would you do? Could you convince them to add toca as a sport? We are still so in love with toca guys every fucking wednesday comes around And it's literally like what I live for but yeah, the olympics will be here when we're 30 43 and 42 And um, hopefully it was you'll be like 50 or something But hopefully we'll still have a huge A career of some sort and we'll surely will have something to do with the olympics. You'll be the host in the olympics Well, yeah, i'm pretty sure we will be yeah the olympics olympics Like we're a platform that people can set up events. You can do long jump and high jump You got uh 800 meters sprint and the back pedaling on me So we are like the perfect grounds Yeah, opening ceremony closing ceremony everything middle part next question Is from matthew nulls He has a question from matt brown. What diary entry were you most embarrassed about? I was mostly embarrassed about the high school formal one where I kiss my mum and held onto the back of the head that one Like the mum kissing you shouldn't have told me that because i'm pretty sure your mum features in the next diary with question Oh, yeah, yeah, imagine if your mum listened to that that would be so embarrassing question for her to have to relive that Next question is from abu dabi and they want to know where It's actually at abu dabi Um, okay. Oh, this was a dark one, but I did promise I would ask it julie Question for the podcast And they're answering if you can help Have you dealt with any people? Oh, sorry. Did you guys ever lose any mates when you were younger? And how did you deal with that situation? Like when that we never really none that died. Yeah We've had friends die. Yeah, we're not we're more younger, but yeah. Yeah, I mean the last couple of years. Yeah, we've had I've had a We're pretty close mate died from some of the drugs Yeah, and um, I don't know how you deal with it. You just fucking That's the whole thing. He's got to keep as you said before keep trucking Yeah, and the with depression doesn't matter why you're depressed. You just you just follow the same Routine that you do whenever you're feeling shit and for us to stay away from piss and drugs Exercise and just fucking fill up your time with fun shit and our friend group's quite Yeah, and get legend mates gonna play golf or toka And get baked actually maybe it's not for everyone, but but do it. Yeah, just to try it So make some weed and go for a run maybe Sorry, sorry about that. Sorry. Sorry. Uh, next question Next question from Jacob Dickinson. If you stuck your hand into a mystery glove, what's the last thing you'd want to be in there? um my father Maybe fucking like Warsaw Warsaw the capital of poland. Yeah Yeah, that would be pretty annoying. They'd suck. It's yeah Yeah, so our answers are Warsaw the capital of poland and, um, my dad Same thing Father's name is Warsaw Warsaw This is a bit random the next one Uh this one from So You mind me if the man the banker from Mary Poppins from Warsaw Um, oh, he's he looks like cute old man So, so sorry next question is from mo alley. Um, if your pet walks in as you're fondling or you know Having sex with your missus. Do you keep it going or kick him out? Uh, usually I don't mind. Boz knows what's going on. He knows daddy's just at work So he usually just fucking pops himself down somewhere and waits till she's over and fucking off we go Off to the fucking dog park No, yeah Yeah, bozzy's bozzy is there for everything. Sometimes he's up on the bed Yeah, he's used to it Yeah, so I know I don't kick him out, but I have there have been people who are like, uh, I can tell you dog to get out All right, this one's from joe morton. Um, is deco Fuck you. Yeah, I was fucking ready for it too Question of the podcast is decoded darren's daughter No, but none of them are related not not that i'm aware of I haven't sat them all down in a room together We're gonna do a sketch with them all We're we're gonna I was I was gonna do I was gonna do a prank haul where um, I swapped from one character to the next Someone asked suggested that too. Yeah, I think that's maybe where I got that idea from but um I practiced it in my head and it sounds very prank hauling I reckon they'll be on all pretty quick, but who knows when my fucking tried out I'm not saying no to nothing mate. Are we Everyone Something's happening Bullshit And that's question time and the next segment has been renamed And it's a segment where we open the shit that you guys send us to hear The po box two five six All right, the first po box that we have is a little brown box. We've got lots of shit sent in again So thank you to everyone fucking sending your shit in and we've got so many fucking boxes laren Julian says he's got to read something out before he opens this one This is for our mate on discord Keith Yeah, and if you want to join our discord, you got to sign up as a premium member to our uh website All right, that's what when you hear discord. That's what they're talking about. They always go Yeah, we all end up in there at some point. Matt's joined too. All right, so Keith has said Dear marty and michael, I hope you to enjoy the smoking apparatus is enclosed I also hope julien will enjoy the cancer sticks as well That being said if julien would like any more of his precious cigarettes He must convince marty and michael to take his last name Richards is it richards? Yeah, oh my god. I see them So julien's been sent some cigarettes. My favorite camel turkish gold classics. Do they not sell them in australia? No, no, no, they don't even sell them in america. They're only they were made in bethlehem. Oh, I think these are pipes, dude It feels like a pipe. Yeah smoking apparatus If any fans want to send me cigarettes, fucking love me a pipe Oh, that's so sick. It's beautiful. If any fans want to send me cigarettes, please Fucking legend. Keith. Thank you very much Sending fucking julien's cigarettes, eh? We'll have to see what we can do about that See you smoke now, not just vaping all the time Are you we're so good at just vaping for a while and it's like he's proud of it too. He's like, yeah It's like you smoke less as you get older. Oh, all right. This is from Oh, this is jono jaws, dude Jono jaws has sent us something here, bro Is that a frog? This is okay because it's like a big gremlin See this is like They were this big They were like two centimeters big last time This one's okay. Look, it's got pretty color the greens. Yeah, you like the green color looks like the weed plant Dude, I don't know about this. There's a note on here that says don't worry. They died Oh, yeah, dude, what's that? I don't know what's in here. I don't I open this one I'll take care of this, but that's a nice gram. Yeah I know where they were going with it. They wanted it to be a funny Piss you off gremlin, but unfortunately it's Michael. Thank you. Jono That's I was gonna fall don't it's gonna fall. It's gonna knock the other things And it'll be a disaster. Oh shit. Here we go. All right. Fuck. I'll sort it out. Don't worry. They died Oh, man. I thought I felt the box vibrate before as well Anyway, just open it This box vibrated when I shook it before What's going on to whispering to julian knows something about this Julian, I don't want to fuck. Do you know something about this? This this gift here Yeah, I saw you fucking talking to matt jono wouldn't give us something. No, we're talking about I'm fucking scared because I felt the vibration too. Is it alive? I don't know It's it says they're dead on there. You want me to open it? Yes, please Yes, Matt's gonna open it. I'm pretty sure it's a bomb I'm pretty sure it's a bomb a bomb. It's a shrapnel bomb. Oh, that's scared. Oh, they're fucking teeth Oh, it's just another set of teeth Oh, Julian This isn't the place for that mate smoking in michael's basement. Can you please get outside? It's a disgusting habit Are these are these real teeth? Look, I guess we have to put these in I guess we have to put these in our mouths. They're false. Are they false teeth? Oh, dude, that makes me feel sick Look at that. Oh, you have to put them in your mouth Dude, look at that Set of teeth Can you fucking believe it or not more teeth? You got fucking more teeth than a dentist can't Do Oh, man, that's him saying don't worry. They're dead. He's talking to the owners of them Very good, John. I'm very good. Thank you very much. John. It's great to see you, mate. All right. That's lots of fun Another one. Yeah, come on one more, right? He got him I can't believe I shit myself. Oh my god. There's a fucking live animal in there, man. Shut up Okay, we don't know what's in there yet Uh, it says No animals were harmed and it's got the picture of a big veiny dick and balls So it's never good. It's never good There's some sort of padding on top of the gift. So slowly removing the padding. Oh, that's a plastic bag Oh, no, there's more fucking oh the plastic bag. It's like those containers the medicine Yeah, there's those fucking containers and containers the same containers that someone sent us common teeth in Oh, no, what is that? Oh, what is that? Oh my god, something fucked is in that dude. It's like a circle. It looks like a ringworm or an eye Oh my god, what is oh dude yummy with nails What the fuck is that can't do what's written on the things? Oh my god Dude, I don't want to be here. I'm done with this now. Yeah, I'm scared. This looks like, um They're bugs of some kind, uh This one is Oh, this one looks like a like a witchity grab maybe I don't know It says mouse tummy with nails. That looks like he's Steve Urban, right? Yeah, so this one is a witchity grab and then can you see that money? There's like bugs in there They look like cock. Oh, if you get a whiff of it, it's quite difficult I've got enough teeth in me. What's that? I'm not opening that that just looks like some Give it to Matt. Give it to Matt. Let Matt have a look. Matt, can you work on this? I don't want to open that do it in the toilet Oh, hey, they've got a little it's gonna like cause a new disease. It's anthrax. Yeah. Yeah, let's I feel like I'm just fucking wafting in disease right now. Oh god. I don't know. Let's just put that one over here Is it from Australia? Yeah, I think so I imagine it's like a scorpion. I think we'll throw this out on the street and break it and see what's in it Yeah, so we'll tell you this next week Okay, thank you for that gift whoever Oh, I can smell that shit. Yeah, please take it away. Oh, oh, fuck man Oh man, it's different it's always different in here box is is yeah very very confronting sometimes Isn't it Fuck me. Yeah, they went from a gremlin to some false teeth to What like asbestos We'll call that asbestos move right along to the next segment, which has of course been renamed And this is a segment where we just read uh secrets that you fucking dogs are sending to matt brown and he is storing your data So matt can I just say it does we do have a sign on the desk that says send us weird shit? Yeah, yeah. Oh, no. This is yeah. This is what we asked for I guess sometimes It's just overwhelming when lots of shit arrives at once like we had a whole set of teeth And then lots of A mouse stomach Can I just say if you're gonna send weird shit like that they need to be in a bit more of a clear bottle So we can identify what they are. Yeah, I get why he's doing he doesn't want it to break on the way over, you know Yeah, but you can still keep it clear. He could have kept that non Salted tape that up. Sorry. I can't wait to break it. It's very intriguing. Oh, it's wonderful This was a very weird smell here at the moment. Wonderful weirder than usual Usually Oh, julian. Oh my julian, please. Please be with me my julian He's on his phone again That's where he spends most of his life. He always ignores us every day We're trying to throw the vortex with him today. Nothing took so long to get him to throw the vortex with us All right, what are these secrets my brown? My sweet sweet brown Perfectly shaped beard All my brown tone. All right First one is from Unknown This is a bit more of a crime story a bit more of a secret Back in the day, I used to look for abandoned houses And get what I and I would take what I could from there to make coin or make money if you're unsure what coin means I found one one day I found one one scoped it out and I went inside and took a look In in the place. I found a tarana and lots of expensive furniture. Tarana is a car if anyone is unsure Um later. I found out that the couple actually took their own lives. That's why they went home that day Secret for the podcast. What was that? What the fuck wait? So these what that was the shitest fucking secret if you only send your secrets No, that wasn't dude think about what he's done. Well, he's stolen from some dead people That's pretty he thought the house was abandoned and he stole from it But that wasn't actually abandoned the people actually think about it until we got away. So he stole their cars So we saw that car. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my god. Okay. Yeah, he didn't explain it very well. My apologies We were sort of attacking him like the original gremlins. Yeah, but he's really the new yeah, that was very gremlin anger I felt it started very gremlin, but then it was new gremlin toys. Yeah, I read all these in full I just saw some sort of breast milk I haven't read these in full some of them are big. So I just see secret and I just save them So anyway, let's try it. This is from archery Brookhouse secret for the podcast Me and my mate used to work at a dairy Farm farm, I guess for two hours after school twice a week For the last half hour, we would serve ice creams and behind him was the cigarettes cabinet Every day we would sit at the table outside as they gave us a drink after and he would have stolen a pack of cigarettes almost every time This went on for about five months and he never got caught I worked there for another year after and would eat chicken in the fridge when it came in and eat lollies out the back I also never got caught. I fucking hate this man. I was I was seriously A kid rose up for sure. That's fucked up like leave it in just because I want people to hear um I want I want that person to be embarrassed. I can summarize this basically they worked at some kind of corner store or place And we've all done it. I was in the deli at Woolworth's chicken wings galore Stole yeah, that ever ever ever paid for that was a shit if you send in your secrets We don't want to hear what fucking That you fucking found a dollar coin on the ground. Okay. We want to hear some proper shit Secret for the podcast. I really like older women And I am quite turned on by incest so I regularly masturbate to my grandmother and my step aunt I also sniffed their panties Whoa That's a fucking different isn't it? It's different Sniffy's grandmother's part. Oh, man. I feel like that's quite real the way it's real I feel like that was very he was very specific about not mentioning his instagram grandma's panties would probably smell like your golly bottle Oh, I'd be like granny panties. There's still a smell in here. Yeah, it's ruined the house a bit Thank you Oh This one's interesting All right a secret for the podcast in 2003 When I was 14 me and my friends all took turns pissing in a Pringles can we all know what that is Uh, we then leaned it out the front door of a random. Oh, we left it out the front door of a random house We knocked on the door and took off they opened the door and the piss splattered all over the front of the house That's a great idea. Well, it was a bomb No, it was a Pringles can pull it in front when they opened the door the door knocks Pringles canes over on piss Come there and that's not bad. It turns out the house we did it to was the attorney general of utah Which is like I think is that similar to a lawyer? No, I think it's like a politician. It's like a high It's a high powerful person Their eight-year-old daughter was the one who opened up the door. They caught me and two of my friends and pulled guns on us When they sent the cops around They decided not to charge us that's like we used to do chasing Didn't we what's that chasing is when you have a packet of chips and you're sort of over them So you piss in like the last remaining packet of chips and then we put them on Top of cars just strangest cars and then we'd Flip them so the piss and the chips went down the windshield into the Drained into the car a bit Yeah, it goes down the windshield mark. All right, you remember that matt we've chased some people that we didn't like This one's good and we're going to end on this one. You're dragging up for ages All right, ready? I'm so blah just is All right, this is from All right, me and my mates have a teacher at school. She teaches science And she never liked any of us, but we know where she but we knew where she lived We would fuck her house up smear shit on the windows key the smear shit on the windows Key key the cars break her windows sometimes Oh my god, man. One day we went to teach it in fucking likey dogs One day it went too far one of the windows were open in her son and one of our kids Rooms What day we went too far and we bashed hang on, you know, let me finish we killed a dog with a brick One day we went too far and one of the windows was open in her in her son's room. We found a dead cat on the road And we decided to place the corpse in the in the little cunt's room and piss a little bit See that is something that I don't But like I'm glad you did that so I got to hear that we don't but we don't we don't back it, but we don't disagree Yeah, like I'm glad you did it. That's tense because That is next level What you can't really say It's pretty savage, but like savages need to be cool. Yeah Some pretty good secrets a comment if you think that the secrets section should stay Or if we should fuck it off and get one of the other ones back because the crimes was a good one I reckon it's a mix of both. So I'm happy with crimes Crime secret segment. That's so true. It's a crime secret segment. All right, so if you like that Let us know in the comments. If not, we'll fucking we'll cut it like I'll slice its neck Can't watch it bleed to death and really send some stuff in where we want to hear it on the cord No, the cord's nothing Nothing All right, we've been going for like two hours. All right, Julian. You've got five minutes to tell us a story I'm literally hurry up. Get over here. Your time starts now. So there was this one time my Sorry, okay. Look into the camera. No me the camera. Shut up. Sorry Okay, so there was this one time my parents were out of town and they left me alone at our house And I was like, hey, I'm gonna throw a gather a little party So I had a bunch of people over mates chicks all that biz Anyway, there was this one girl that I was getting with that night and I was too drunk and all that So she slept over and then the next day she wanted to have sex But I was hung over a shit and was sort of like, oh, she's not as hot as she was when I was drunk So I was sort of like, oh, yeah, I'll do it. Anyway, because I'd fuck a sick dog tied to a tree And if it didn't move, I'd kick it. Anyway I've gotten on top of her starting to fuck and she's like a fucking starfish. Just was not moving You know those ones that just fucking lay there like Yeah, like rigor mortis don't touch me come Anyway, I'm like, how do I get out of this? And for some reason I think oh all chicks have heard my excuses Like they all talk or some shit. So I make a new one up every time And I couldn't think what to fucking say. So I just started coughing And then pretended to pass out limp on this girl. So I've got And she's like, what the fuck are you okay? Are you okay? And I'm like, oh, yeah, I just Oh, I'm so lightheaded and she goes, oh, no, it's okay. I can leave Could you drive me? And I was like, no, I'm too fucked. She was like, no, you're right Anyway, she's left and I've like texted the boys. Yeah. Yeah, I can yeah Just fucking got this to get out of my house. I'm like, I'm gonna go to Maccas So I'm driving to Maccas and I've pulled up at a red light And I'm blaring music and I look to the left and that girl is there looking depressed at the bus stop And it's seen me at the bar like in my car like completely fine like smoking fucking looking happy What did you talk to her? I just looked at her and then just kept driving Did you ever talk to her again blocked her on facebook and everything? Wow And like we had many mutual friends where she was and just so nothing ever came up She never fucking I've seen her and it's just like that party. She just ignores it that you Disgusting behavior Julian. That's a pretty tame story. I like yeah, that is a very tame one Like I could tell some fucking crazy ones, but you know, we only got five minutes We will have you back. No, but we don't want to get it age restricted. Oh, yeah, true We got to be fucking PG all the time now Maybe I'll tell tell the time when I ended up getting slapped Have I shown you the footage of me getting slapped by the friend of the chick? Another yeah, he very we won't go into that one. Yeah, because that one will get age restricted but Julian Good story What what's your instagram? That's like a fucking um, it's julian woods. I'm posting skits with the boys Yeah, very good skit. It's like uh, it's like a diary actually pretty much like a diary entry, but live break all time And this week we're going to try and destroy greg's life We're gonna try and scam him for two and a half thousand fucking dollars. All right This is how you scam your friends. Everyone listen up. He knows my voice. Okay I've tried to come out with all different types of voices So and and nothing I say is sounds convincing enough and I can't fucking distort my voice too much too much Because I've done that before too and he picks up on it now. Okay. I've prank called him too many times He knows Michael's voice. So we're going to get julian to do the prank call today. We've got a little script for him Okay, a little scamming script and basically Right, I'm looking to move rental houses and I messaged him the other day and I said hey, mate I've put you down as a reference on my rental application So if a real estate agent calls you at some time this week Just tell him I'm gonna I'm a fucking legend and that I'm a fucking good Cunt and they should let me fucking move into whatever house. I'm applying to okay So he's expecting call from real estate agent. Let's see how good Greg is So now julian is going to be the real estate agent calling Greg and there's going to be all sorts of crazy things on that application And at the very bottom We're going to see if we can fucking get Greg to send us two and a half fucking grand live on the phone cunt This is how you scam your friends cunt This is how you scam your fucking friends and ruin their fucking lives cunt julian Come on over julian Hello, this is Greg. Yeah. Hello. Is this Greg Smith? Yes, it is. Yeah, good day, mate. It's Shane Sweeney from Raiwai, Virginia. How you going, mate? Thanks, mate Um, listen, I've got a Marty Sokolinsky who's put you down as a personal reference Are you available for a few questions quickly, mate? Yeah, definitely Oh awesome. Um, Marty's written down here that he's worked with you as a boss Yeah, so in in my in our in our business You mean? Yep Yep, that's the one. Yeah, that's it. Yes, he did. Uh, so what was he like to work with him? What did he really do? Oh, so he was one of our um head coaches like It's going back a few years, but yeah, he was one of our head coaches and uh, he like he did lots of our um Coaching at college The school of excellence of tennis was that with our kids Sorry with kids with kids. Yes. Yes It also says here that you and Marty lived together for a year in 2018 Yeah, so out at um Well, he was living out with us on our property for a little bit as well Yeah, yep. So in the same residence or Yeah, it is. Well, we had like an extra granny flat as well. Yeah, so he hasn't really put that down in two seconds Um, all right sweet It also says that he speaks five different languages Uh, he hasn't really put down what they are Um, do you know what they would be the five different languages? This is a stitch up there I was like mate, so it ripies rip him up here like when I get off the phone because I'm like mate I'm out of crap. I'm having to make up Oh, dude, I wish you fucking kept going with it I was gonna say that um that that marty's put you down as like a financial aid Oh, and that and that you need to cover the we should have went straight to that because No one's gonna ask if you can speak five different languages. That's so good. It was it was it was a pretty That was that was julian by the way, don't conducting that I I actually have put you down as a reference officer and real estate agent does call It's a lady. It's a really really highly strong woman. Did I make the final cut? Uh, yeah, yeah, we use it. Yeah, we use it. Um, have you guys not pranked me enough? Back to back to normal podcast Hey, hi everyone here. We're here. What's the time? Only matt can clap He's all upset Oh Thank you for listening Spread the word Because without you guys telling everyone we die here today. All right Spread the word Let him know that we're the best We're the best Let him know We're the best We're the best and we're the best We're the best, we're the best We're the breasts We're the breasts