 I'm the comic weekly man the jolly comic weekly man, and I'm here to read the funnies to you happy boys Yes boys and girls it's comic weekly time and here I come right into your house to bring a little fun and happiness Right out of the pages of fuck the comic weekly straight into your living room your friend the comic weekly man the jolly comic weekly man Oh Little miss honey, how are you today? Do you know what's his name? Isn't that wonderful? Where'd he get it? Is that so? Yes. Well, why did she have to stay at the hospital overnight? Yes, it is and did the baby like him and how about Hank? Oh, that's wonderful. What's the baby's name? Well, that certainly is something wonderful Fuck the comic weekly very well. I'll read that in just a moment But before I do let's listen to this nice man Go with fuck the comic weekly and on the first page hop along Cassidy Very well my lady six guns blazing as he thunders along give us music for hop along a Series of crimes has occurred around the town of Buck's gift Hoppy has learned that they've been committed by a mysterious person who changes his disguise with every crime This person is called by the citizens the chameleon While investigating these crimes hoppy has been caught in the freight office standing over a dead man holding a gun in his hand He's been turned over to the Texas Rangers Today the leader of the protective league in Buckskin mr. Grief formed by the citizens of Buckskin is talking to one of the men who is saying hey with Cassidy under arrest now The way perhaps a bit more Persuasion may force the bar 20 and others to join our protective league mr. Grief. Mr. Grief replies Well, that can wait the morning stage will be leaving with 40,000 and bank notes aboard Couldn't wonder if the chameleon was Last picture top row hoppy with a group of Rangers is returning to Buckskin The Rangers have believed hoppy story and they've worked out a scheme to work together to catch the chameleon the leader of the Rangers is saying Now you're still in time to back out Cassidy We can clear you of that fake Rangers shooting and forget the plan after all it is pretty risky hoppy says Now let's leave it the way it is The leader goes on first picture next row Now the Texas Rangers need an outsider to pose as an outlaw, but it means deserting your friends and another one adds Yeah, and giving up your good name and reputation till you nail the chameleon or he nails you That moment they come into town they see the stagecoach is about to leave Grief is getting into the coach the Rangers sets a hoppy last picture second row All right, the stage is just pulling out a chameleon or some of his henchmen could be among that crowd Now's your chance Cassidy make it look good The coach pulls out suddenly hoppy's first hopper forward the Rangers yell Fire over hoppy's head last picture down the road hoppy comes after the stagecoach with the Rangers after him Driver the coach yells Yes with all that money on that coach hoppy wants to make sure no one holds it up We'll find that out next week Very well over the page we go and you were right here's Prince Valiant And they had trouble as they were crossing the flooded river a tree crashed into them knocking their horses over and Val and Arf barely escaped with their lives Let's read and find out here we go with Prince Valiant in the days of King Arthur Eckhart break it gray Malkin and quints music romantic for a fair fair Prince Don comes clear and bright Arf is all right though still weak from his battle with the raging water Prince Val says Well, let's see how much of our gear the rivers left us where there are two score leagues between us and home Below the cascade they find the bodies of their animals and salvage a few things the river is not claimed They find Val's bows and arrows blankets hatchet and their hunting gear Last picture top row while the few possessions are drying Val fixes our for fishing line Fashioning allure from a clamshell with which Arf attracts some inquisitive trout within reach of Val spear One big trout comes close Val sends his spear home and draws out of the river food for breakfast Later in the day first picture next row well fed and rested they begin the climb to the higher ridges where traveling is easier The long way home is going to be difficult for Val with his two good legs But for one leg at Arf it will be impossible The last picture second row Val leads the way back to the river he says Now Arf you may have the pleasure of skinning the horses and removing their bladders while I go into the pine-scented forest for wood We are going to build a boat First picture bottom row Val scours the nearby woods for the proper materials dry cedars Queen saplings strips of tough inner bark roots for binding balls and for glue While Arf sets the bladders out to dry and cuts the waste bit of hide into When night falls all the materials have been assembled and shaped on the morrow They will become boat builders and they settle down around their campfire Preparing dinner with a happiness of two friends who are confident that they are equal to any problem that will face them Yes, don't they you know no food tastes better than food cooked over a campfire after a hard day's work in the fresh air Yes, that does give you an appetite doesn't you bet it does it makes you feel good, too Val and Arf look like they feel so good that they aren't afraid anymore I don't think they are either but we'll find out next week how they make out with their boat Well, let's find out turn over the page go past Perry Mason and the Lone Ranger doing over that page Go past little iodine and there on page seven is Duck so here we go with Donald Duck say the magic words with me Squeeze jump squeeze jump squiddly chicken chat. Let's have music to better Donald's girlfriend Daisy is talking to him on the phone guess what I'm remodeling my entire house Donald hears this he says to himself He says into the phone Daisy answers Donald replies Last picture top roll Daisy opens the door there stands Donald with paintbrush and paint in his hand Oh Good it's in the first room on the left and in a moment Donald's in the first room on the left on his knees painting the floor Half-hour later The floor is all painted except for a little patch in front of the door He opens the door and sees the door opens against a brick wall The new brick wall Daisy had built when the new bedroom was made last picture Daisy pops her head in the room and says I'm sorry. I forgot to tell you about that door. Oh, besides it'll be dry in only 12 hours Donald slides down and leans against the brick wall. He doesn't say a thing but inside he feels just like this Yes, but if he'd done that it wouldn't have been a funny paper Now let's turn over the page So pick up the second section then and there on the first page of the second section is Dagwood and Blondie Now let's find out what silly thing he's doing today Ramaphore, I'm a fom, Zim, Zem, Zombie come to me music for Dagwood and Blondie Dagwood go to the drugstore today taking the pups along for a walk as it comes into the drugstore He sees a scale. Oh, I haven't weighed myself in a long time. I wonder what I weigh He steps on the scale But he's so busy looking at the needle He doesn't see that three of the dogs are sitting on the scale with him last picture top row the needle stops 210 pounds, I'm 50 pounds overweight He tears out of the drugstore First picture next row he charges into the kitchen at home Blondie Blondie no food for me tonight none at all Goes into the living room and lies down Later as they're eating their dinner cookie looks at Dagwood's empty chair and says Blondie shakes her head and says I'm terribly worried about daddy Alexander says thoughtfully as he gobbles half a loaf of bread How long will a human body last without nourishment mom whereupon Blondie picks up her salad and goes into the living room He says to Dagwood lying on the sofa Normal After Blondie has finished her dinner He's still worried so she goes into the living room with a cup of tea Dagwood jumps out of the window holds under the windowsill Blondie holds the tea out the window and says Little later cookie says I wonder how many pounds daddy lost by not eating supper Blondie says get the bathroom Scales for me and we'll see Cookie dashes into the bathroom pick up the scale That's just back into the living room Set the scale down Dagwood steps on it Waits until the needle stops whereupon Dagwood keels over on the floor Alexander and Blondie pick him up Blondie says quick into the kitchen daddy is wasting away to nothing But they hurry into the kitchen with him Alexander says he'll be nothing but skin and bones. They set him at the table Open the refrigerator get out the steak macaroni Peas liverwurst who's berries whose pimples and they start shoving them down Picture he's lying on the sofa again Blondie cookie Alexander and the dogs looking at him and Blondie says Dagwood sighs contentedly Somebody please bring me a toothpick Yes, nobody could lose 50 pounds at an hour now look underneath Dagwood and Blondie And I'll read that in just a moment, but first here's that nice man again with something interesting to say Now here we go again with Puck the comic weekly and on the bottom of the first page of the second section Roy Rogers King of the Cowboys magic words for the music, please very well my lady. Hi. Yep. I owe now here We go with Roy and trigger. Hi. Yep. I owe Roy has come to Pauline Bunyan's logging camp at the request of her niece Wildwood down Wildwood is told Roy that a series of strange accidents have been preventing Aunt Pauline from getting her lumber delivered to market and time as They're talking one of the men tells them that Cosmo an old timer who hates the loggers and who loves the forest is up on the ledge Where the timber is stacked? Roy gallops up the hill to stop Cosmo from doing an emissive as he nears the top of the hill Cosmo releases a stack of logs that come tumbling down toward Roy Roy turns trigger around gallops down the hill the logs hot in his heels run figure the old man can't lose the whole pile of logs Down the hill Roy comes the logs post behind he had straight for an engine shed made of heavy logs He gallops under the cover of the porch yelling timber slide all Cosmo's on the rampage again The logs thunder against the building and come over the top knocking over the chimney in the furnace Sparks set fire to the chips and slash the engineers shout slash picture top row It's time Pauline put a hauler on that old loon who loves trees and hates loggers They lend a hand the chips and slas caught on fire. Yeah, right here comes them all Pauline bunion and wild little help now Meanwhile second picture bottom row old Cosmo the man responsible for the trouble is riding along on his mule talking to her See the beautiful trees fun. Hey, they know I'll protect him against us even timbermen who chop them down Suddenly a lasso flips off from behind a tree over Cosmo's head pinning his arms to him and jerks him off his mule Cosmo looks up and he sees a burly man at the end of the rope Hey, it's need the timber cruiser stay away from me. Ah shut up you old fool I won't hurt you. I kind of like the idea blaming you for all these accidents leaves me in the clear Last picture Cosmo says You mean you ain't gonna turn me in itch not if you do as I say you old Cosmo I want that cowboy who's investigating the accident for Pauline destroyed But we do what my way Yes, there's a lucky break that no one was killed, but it was too bad that the building was set on fire Yes, it was I wonder what that scheme is that that man names need one soul Cosmo to work with him on He says he wants to destroy right he's up to no good, but we'll find out more about this next week now Let's turn over the page. Oh look here's flash Gordon And you remember he's on the planet Mars where he was a prisoner of Queen Manta a very bad cruel mean woman And Manta came to a bad end because of her cruelty She was pulled beneath the waters and killed by a whip shock during the great flood Yes, and then flash and Dale and Lincoln the pile of the rocket ship. They're safe for a while anyway Yes, and they're standing on a pile in the midst of the flood and they see a rocket ship coming toward them And I wonder if the rocket ship will be friends your enemy. Let's find out right now here We go with flash Gordon rig a rig a doon doons ask him a tash. Let's have music for heroic flag As the Martian canal plane alights alongside the castaways Queen Manta's pilot calls out And beware of these earth people Prince Savvy. They stood idly by while your sister drowned But the new ruler of Mars makes no hostile move. He says I Was thought talking with Manta till the end Flash and his friends are taken aboard the ship and they head for Prince Savvy's palace Prince Savvy says to flash the accident was Manta's fault. I've always opposed her mad scheme to conquer the earth Flash is happy to find that Prince Savvy is friendly and he eagerly begins to talk to him about a treaty of interplanetary Friendship of the people of Mars on the earth with them as leaders Prince Savvy is completely cooperative and it looks as though flash has met a man who has the same good wishes for all good people as flash does Last picture top row at Prince Savvy's castle flash immediately begins work with the leading Martian scientists thought Recording the most useful non-military inventions of the two planets civilizations Flash is elated by the surprising turn of events. He knows that the earth will benefit greatly by this unity with Mars And then first picture bottom row their labors finished Prince Savvy gives flash his fastest space rocket to return to earth with a Martian envoy and a group of scientists Link remaining on Mars as earth's temporary ambassador waves a lonely farewell The great ship speeds serenely through the trackless heavens to pass the time flash tunes in on the space scanner And he gasps at what he sees Exclaims Something's terribly wrong Last picture Dale and the Martian envoy hurry to his side flash points to the scanner screen saying Look at that earth image. It's incredible solid ice over most of North America and Europe Well, I'm certain it means more than it's a cold winter. This is something very mysterious Why this can be like years ago when icebergs came down from the North Pole Well, we'll have to wait until next week to find that out now It's time though for Dick's adventures and today we'll find Dick on the very last page So just turn over now to the very last page and here is remember Yes, and they have reached the Rocky Mountains where the Missouri River on which they've been traveling begin Now they can't travel by boat. They'll have to carry everything around the waterfall Yes, and in front of them are mountains and forests almost so thick you can hardly get through but they have to go on ahead How will they ever do it? Well, let's read now and see here. We go with Dick's adventures. Say the magic words with me Riggity-pack-a-zack-a-zick. That's the music for adventure to stick At the spot which is now Great Falls, Montana The Lewis and Clark expedition has stopped dead by 16 miles of Missouri River rapids and whirlpools Dick muses we got to navigate our boats over dry land, but how are we gonna get out of this little fix? Crude wagons are made by cutting down thick trees then slicing through the trees Platters of wood a foot thick These are used for wheels and when the wagons have been made the boats are loaded on And the men make horses of themselves and pull the crude wagons up the mountain side forward by aching inches The work is hard The men stop to rest completely exhausted Dick who is looking at the boat feels the wind against his cheek second row dick suddenly says hey Boats on wheels and a strong wind blowing. I think I got something Quickly he tells Lewis and Clark of his idea And in a short time a mast and sails have been put on the boats The men think the idea is crazy and then second picture bottom row and Unbelievable thing happens the wind fills the huge sails and with the men pulling the crude wagons begin to move over an incredible sea of rocks and trees Last picture in a narrow high wall gully dry under the summer sun the flotilla winds up Nick says only one more mile to go and that's suddenly the wind dies The air turns freezing cold Anomalously the sky black Yes, not only that but it would have taken them months moving an inch at a time But now we'll find that out next week now look underneath Dick's adventure Because rusty has trailed the thieves who stole the trophies from Mr. Miles safe He's told him to the old spooky house Yes, and rusty and Pete have slipped into the house and are searching for the place where the valuables are hidden But a terrible thing happened one of the crooks is still there and he's found the car that rusty and Pete came in Oh, I hope he doesn't catch rusty and Pete cuz he's cruel. Let's read now and see what happens with rusty Riley Gallop and run till the road is dusty give his music for his horse and rusty Rusty and Pete move cautiously around the spooky house rusty explains Cheapers what a tumble down mess this place is he must have been empty for years Pete replies. Yeah, wherever they hid those trophies. They can't be far They were in here only a few minutes You know, I got a hunch they had a hiding place all picked out beforehand Now watch your step rusty look out for broken floorboards Yeah, yeah Rusty replies, you know, I kind of think they did too. Hey wait And he sees last picture top row. Yeah, I'll bet you that under one of these loose floorboards that make a swell hiding place Hey by Jiminy rusty, you're right. Hey, come on. Let's start looking Then they go through a door Down some steps to a room below Rusty says We've looked everywhere in the upper floors now for the basement Yeah, I thought sure we'd find the trophies up there In the dim light of the cellar they move around Suddenly Pete explains. Oh boy. We're on the right track now. Look rusty fresher. It's somebody's been digging here And here's the shovel and they begin today And then Rusty shovel strikes something Pete drops to his knees and draws the earth back with his hands and then explains Hey, we hit the jackpot rusty. Here's the stuff suddenly rusty whispers. Hey hold it Pete I think I heard somebody upstairs the sound of a door slam rusty runs up the stairs and tries the knob Explains hey gosh Pete. They bolted this door from the other side. We're trapped. I Don't know and what makes it worse is that the detective has told mr. Miles that rusty and Pete were the ones who stole the trophies Yes because with the trophies down there in the basement and rusty and Pete there Why what look as though rusty and Pete had come there to hide them And I'm sure that that's what knobs would tell the detective and they might believe them But then again, I'm sure Tex will find a way to straighten things out We'll find out that out next week now. That's all the time. I have but before I go Here's that nice fellow with some more interesting information. Well, honey and all your boys and girls. I got to go now Okay, that's a date and the date with all your boys and girls be sure to meet me with a little friend miss honey next week When I read pock the comic weekly Oh, I'm the comic weekly man the jolly comic weekly man I'll be back to read the funnies to you. Happy boys And don't forget boys and girls see you all next week your friend the comic weekly man the jolly comic weekly man