 You know, I love how there's that quote in the the first movie EFAP where I was like, can we sacrifice Jay? And that's going to come out after the Jay debate. And people are going to think that came out chronologically afterward. People will know you're innocent or okay. Yeah, that's good. I won't think you're a racializer. Why are you making me watch this? Because I love you. Well, this is for you into making a new video. No, this might make me like want to, you know, disappear into the wilderness for the rest of my life. Well, at least we'll be doing something. EFAP movies to I'm gonna actually have numbers on and fuck it because then it'll be like, oh, look how many we've done. None of us have any idea what this film has in it. Other than it's terrible. That's what that's what I've been heard and told. Now, Brie Larson, very well known for being extremely talented and may stars in a lot of great movies such as Captain Marvel, I think all four of us big fans, including Wolf. Absolutely. I'm such a big fan. I haven't even seen it yet. All I know about this film is that the premise is that she wishes to have she has a boring life, question mark. And then Samuel Jackson tries to sell her a unicorn. So yeah, excited would be the word to use. On the cover is that unicorn come all over her? Yes. So I need to see the cover. Three, two, one, go. Oh, Netflix continuously disappointing me. It's like they have some really good shit. And then it's like we forgot how to make good things. I think they're just wildly inconsistent. Yeah, they temporarily remember like with Hill House or with Reia Violet Evergarden. Oh my God, what kind of font is that? It's like Comic Sans V2 or something. I was about to say Comic Sans, but it's like it's not exactly Comic Sans. It's worse. It's somehow worse. A hive mind production. That's not reassuring. How do you get your face so dirty? You have to have painted that on yourself. Yeah, it looks like she deliberately fucking put it on her face. She's like, look how creative I am. How do you get that's like how you don't get paint on the back of your hands? She's like Van Gogh, only she hasn't cut her ear. He's like Van Gogh, but gay and untalented. Oh, look, she's the special one. Look at all these prudes. Yeah, I'd be like. I was like, of course, we gave you zeros. What the fuck is this? Hey, the unicorn just looks so bad. Oh, you get a unicorn. It looks alright, though. Yeah, the unicorn looks good. She just fucking splooged on the rest of it for some reason. Is she like a, it's a failed artist, isn't it? Isn't it? It's that. She's just misunderstood. She's likely to go with her. People don't like it when I do that. I see she's brought her emotion from Captain Marvel straight through into the movie. I'd actually kind of rather watch what's on the TV. I'm going to regret saying that now on you. They went to school. They went to school. They went to school. Ladies, period got you down. Stuck on the sideline. What? All my life happened. Why? I just skipped speech out. David Davidson, Jr. Now what? Full mastued into the channels. Just trying to figure out what I'm doing. What an accolade. She's an alcatism. How are you, Cap? Helps me see the unicorns. I have a plan, okay? This is acting. That was great. He didn't have to go the first take. Actor, director, Brie Larson. Pretentious. Why don't you paint the bottom of your fucking feet glitter? Why would you do that? Can't miss, guys. She's sleeping on a treadmill. She's so special. I love it. Creative. It helps to get out. It helps. She gets out of bed. She turns it on and she shoots off into the hallway. I'm up. I'm like, I'm confused by this film because I'm not sure like the joke is that like, are we laughing at what we're supposed to be laughing at? Or like, I don't know. I guess he's quirky. I know. I'm not sure the commercials we're supposed to be laughed at, but... I'm not sure we're supposed to have laughed yet. I'm not sure that's what they wanted. This is a comedy, though. Isn't it? Like, I don't know. Quote on quote comedy. Is the movie's point going to be embrace your quirkiness? Don't let people say it's bad. Look, she's like a different person. A lot of, a lot of poorly written stories do this. Good stories tend to be about getting better, whereas a lot of these bad stories are about, nah, you were right all along. Yeah, like, hot rod. It's just, it's just so annoying. She's been pre-sloppery lasted stories, or I thought you were right all along. Like, is she, is she, she obviously has an illness, right? Like, is that what they're going for? Oh, yes. Like, this is not normal, this is behavior. Oh, that's Samuel Jackson invite, I'm guessing. Is it meant to be so absurd that it's not believable at all? PR and RPR. PR and RPR! What's that? I feel like we just saw that woman twice, the blonde one. Oh, look, she's fucking around. She can't help but be creative. She's such a, she's such a naughty Nancy. I'm guessing the point is that they don't emote here because they're all soulless robots. Did you google my name before you came here today? No. Because a lot of people with my same name have done terrible things. This is like a bad office space? Oh, the office, really. So we tell the kids an emotional quest? Look at this. What is that? Potion quest. He looks exactly like the kind of guy that would work at a power potion quest. I'd much rather hang out with him than Brie Larson. Sure, but he also raised Brie Larson. Yeah, well, no one's perfect. His real kids are at work. Got a letter for you. Is that Chris Stuckman? Yeah, what's up with that? Oh, White Power. Hi, Hitler. Did you guys get what it is? No, it was a horny son. Most people have to work here for months before they get the highly Hitler message. Do you notice that everybody in this movie sucks except her? Yeah, but her parents seem happy and successful and fulfilled. She's weird. Yep, but she's allowed to be weird. She sleeps on a treadmill, Mueller. That's quirky and cool. That's even less betting than Jared has. Like, did I dream of figure skating, but my parents wouldn't pay for the lessons? What is happening? What just happened? Why not wish we could fly? We can't, so we focus on what we can do. There is zero creativity in this company, and it is killing me. Your graphic designer, your job is to be creative. Yeah, it's pretty cool. Climbs don't want boring shit. Oh, she's making it cool. I'm being expressive! Look how creative is the Hoover has a fucking flay behind it. I mean, the first one literally just had a hand, right? Yes, White Power. What are you supposed to do with it? Hey, what are you still doing here? What? Do you know about a place called the Store? A place called the Store. I don't know what it is. Why do you have a lamp? I'm just gonna go get Office of Peace. How is it on? What is it attached to? How is that lamp on? Why did she bring that with her just to... What? Why did she bring that with her? It's just like it's trying really hard to be absurd. Like, you know that scene at the end of Hot Rod where they go away from the riot and then suddenly one of the characters just has a TV in his hands? Yeah. Yeah, like that's how you do that correctly. It's like they're trying to do that, but they don't know how. This movie was directed by Brie Larson, right? Yeah, which means that she has been in her own Hollywood world full of herself for so long. She can't remember what the real world is like. And she's trying to piece it together, and it doesn't quite... This is the plot of this movie. Like, this is a really meta-film. It's fucking music as well. She must feel so bad as well, winning the Oscar and then being like, I am fucking gold, and then she makes this and no one likes it. And she's like, well, what the fuck? What is the purpose of this one shot exactly? Oh yeah, you're right. This is one take. He's followed her up and elevates it. I know it's cut. What was the point of that? No, no, this is creepy as shit. This is so fucking creepy if it had your name on it. I'm afraid to see what Samuel L. Jackson looks like. Oh God, he's all flamboyant. He's gay. No, he's the gay. What is this place? Who are you? That line. What is this place? Who are you? And I am the salesman. You can always rely on him to perform though. Yeah, that's the thing is that you're here. This is a legitimate place of business and the opposite of murder. What kind of business? Oh my God. What is that in his head? Why did he agree to this? Why am I here? I like that we see the bottom half of his fucking mouth. In this shot. He does kind of come off as a serial killer. I'm okay with that because oh Jesus. It would honestly make this movie so much better if he did turn out to be a killer. Gotta make sure your hand doesn't cover the label. Everyone see that? Coke? Yeah. Have you guys heard of Diet Coke before? It's so deliberate, isn't it? It's like she's underlying it. It doesn't smell like, hey? I know. Now I can't stop looking at the Diet Coke. Yeah. Oh my God. Every shot is the ice cream. Every single shot. Look at it. You can still see it. Oh, it's kind of coming. It's kind of coming now. Look. This is unicorn. Oh, God. It feels like happiness. What? It feels like happiness. A unicorn will love you forever. Why is she buying graph paper? Because this is what Brie Larson thinks normal people do. For her uptight, soulless job. She has to get grabbed. Oh no. Unicorns. Unicorns are everywhere. You can't escape them. It's not about office supplies. I have a girlfriend. What? No, that's not how I was going to ask. What? Oh, man. I just saw it. That's what that is. Yeah. But now I can see it. You're like, that's Brie Lawson. No, maybe that was not. I do. He's like, oh, God, it's Brie Larson. I already have a girlfriend. I'm taking Jesus. People do think that they really see Jesus, right? And then other people say that they're nuts because Jesus isn't just walking around on this earth, but the people who do believe it really do. Who are we to say what's real or not real in the mind of the true believer? What? What? On that pretty flimsy argument right there. I guess that's some really great writing. How do you know that they'll love you forever? Oh, I guess she just came back. OK. First, there are certain requirements. Oh, dear. You only see them if you're a virgin. But I know that's the case. You're not. Let's get to question two. Build a home worthy of a unicorn. Oh, it's just that man. He's really like a Virgil. What? OK. What does a Virgil look like? That name doesn't really sound like a hardware store guy type name. What? And like Virgil seems like someone I could relate to. Like Virgil is an outcast in school like me. Wow. Virgil is me right now. Jack or... Virgil encapsulates my spirit. Stop putting things in front of his face. I'm sorry. I was kind of in a daze with this. It was really cute, but it's not this. What is happening? You're having a moment like me. Everyone's fucking weird in this movie. Is that on purpose? Well, this is what I mean. They're absurdly weird. Everything's absurd, though. To a degree that's not convinced, like it's not an absurd world. It's just got people and then specific singular items. You have to remember this is in the mind of Brie Larson. This might actually be how she perceives the world and people and conversations. Earlier, it's that the fame got to her head. She's been living in the Hollywood too long. And this is how she thinks the real world really was. This is like a film made by an alien. Why didn't she just go home and Google for that? Oh, you brought a black man home. You're so progressive. Sorry. Yeah, and he's the dad from Get Out. So are they going to kill him? Oh, I like this. Wait, it really is the dad from Get Out? I'm confident it is. But I don't have anything to do with this. Well, no, I don't. Fringy, Fringy thinks that all black people are the same. Which is kind of fucked up. What do you mean, what? Oh, you're right. It is. Yeah, I told you and you didn't believe me. I didn't want to. Well, look who's laughing now. Wait, wait, how do we know the difference between thinking all black people look the same and him seeing the same person? Yeah, no. I'm not talking about a black dude. I know that. I just like it. You know, it's a little sexist that you think so. Not every man who walks the earth knows that he built amazing things with his bare hands, OK? Wait. Oh, so you're implying that there are reasons why people might assign certain thoughts to people that isn't necessarily sexism for Eli? It's so weird that that came out of three losses writing. But are you trying to say something? There's tons of stuff out of this that we can use, right? She didn't write this, I don't think. She just directed it. You sure? Yeah. Yeah, I'm double checking now. What do you think? Is this what my job is? Is to do all the research for you lazy fucks? That's what green people are meant for, for us. She didn't write it, no. Well, then I guess we can't blame any of the right on here, then, right? If you were the director, surely you are still kind of accountable for the writing, right? Um, all right. He's like, I built that for her. I love it. Touch it. Why do you keep saying to touch horns? Oh, it's so heavy. That's because it's full of love. What? So what happened to him? What happens to any of us that doesn't learn to love another thing? What? Unicorns subsist mainly on small insects and orphans. And from a financial risk- What? Why orphans? What is this? I will! What is? Why is he? And Crystal keeps asking me. There's a superstar. We are 40 minutes into this movie. I still don't know where it is. No, it hasn't been 40 minutes. Oh my god, it's felt like three days. What is the plot? I think that she does. She totally does. Why is everyone so quicky and weird and soulless? You can't have every character behave absurdly. How she pays for this. Right? Oh, yeah, we thought of the same thing. Did they mention? They must have mentioned that, right? Oh my god. Oh, she's just super annoying. She's super annoying because she wants to make you dinner. Yes, yes, thank you. Is she female, Jared? Is Virgil just like the only normal person in this universe? Guys, do you reckon it's going to be the whole process of building this thing for the unicorn and stand up for the unicorn? She falls in love with this guy and that's the true point. I do think your hypothesis is right though. I mean, that's what I'm guessing. You're not special! What is? What's her character? What is? You're not special. There you go. She's such a real down-to-earth girl. I'm so glad people hate this film. Pumped! I'm getting hay. Hay! Hay! Oh my, my heart. Oh, what is her jacket? What is all that shit? That's fair. Sorry, she's in the Boy Scouts, but not really. Quick. Is that hay? Yeah. She's dying. Is she dying the hay for the unicorn? Is that the point? What are you guys doing in here? This is an intervention. Honey. I'm holding some hay. Get out! Get out of my... I don't know how to be a grown-up. My parents think that I'm insane and I have no idea what Gary is thinking. Oh no, we're going to see him look close, aren't we? Is this like the audition tapes? What's left? What? I got to hang a magic rainbow on my kitchen or some shit? I bet she felt cool saying that. Sacrifice an orphan. Hatred in your heart. What is it with you and orphans or eggs? They're pretty neat when they're dead. That's like hugging, right? I'd rather have a kid who dies of super-cancer when she's young than adopt an orphan. I have loving energies and this unicorn is going to love all of my energies and if she doesn't, then she can just go back to her sad little forest, okay? Get it? Because she's really angry saying that. You are a very selfish person. Huh? I like it. What is happening? It's a twist going to be that he is actually a man. Maybe he's the guy, also the dad, also the weird guy at work. Everyone is everyone. It's all in a head. Bill Bands with him rocking back and forth in an insane asylum. Rocking back and forth, naturally. Why did you guys have to come here? Whatever. I swear I didn't know I was pregnant. Oh, shit. What is he dialogued anymore? Here's the thing though. Oh my god, it's Riley Dennis. How about you? They're clicking. They're clicking instead of clapping. Did you notice that? I'm getting a unicorn. Okay. That's the look of a dead man. That's the look of we failed. I don't want you to worry about this because this is nothing that you're going to have to handle or take care of. The unicorn is going to live quietly Well, you both know how much I have wanted this my entire life and it's finally happening. No one ever told her the unicorns aren't real. She read all those books though. Is this supposed to be funny? Because it's kind of like sad, isn't it? Just watching these parents just sad. You would be sad. This isn't funny. The tone of the movie, we're waiting for jokes, but now it's like, oh, this is your... Oh. Why are you just more like Kevin? Okay. We don't want you to be more like Kevin, all right? That is not the goal. We just want you to be more like Kevin. Wow. Can you imagine? At least the dad is honest. Can you imagine? Well, I am sorry. We are not your dream parents. Okay, honey. That's... Going back to the circle of truth. Fuck you. We're in the last third now. I feel like we're on a train, but I don't see a lot of contracts. We're an hour into this movie. That was a second act more point. I was about to say, yeah, I think we're in the third act now. I genuinely don't know what the plot is, and we're almost done with the movie. Sabrina? The Teenage Witch? Hey, I'm good. She's going to quick up the Hoover, dude. The Hoover is life. The Hoover is the unicorn. The Hoover is love and life. Oh, look a girl on her face again. I put stuff on my face to make me seem quirky. Oh, no. Oh, no. She could do it right away. What? I have a hold of confetti. What? What is she wearing? Just my clothes. She's a leprechaun. Did she make that? Showtime. Let's go. Thanks, Chris. Time to go. Oh, Mike. Where are you helping me? Just hard cuts are they're getting fired, please. Missing back. Oh, no. Oh, I love her back. Back. No. This is a midlife crisis movie. What is this? What? It's all over the floor. This glitter and the colors of our drawing. Security, please. Chris Stockman, why'd you do this? I want one of them to withdraw a gun and be like, you need to leave. Jesus Christ. Magical rainbowness of it all. Person alive as a dream. Everybody needs. That is not a response to her question. Yeah. Yeah. Even if they're all grown up. This is not a vacuum for your house. This is a vacuum for your soul. Oh, Jesus Christ. I see my problems. You're right. I should vacuum my soul out sometime. A little bit on your conference. I wish I could vacuum up all the haters. You know, because a lot of them think that I'm not smart. That actually does it. That's it. Chris, it's okay, dude. You know, come to think of it, that might actually be something that Chris Stockman would say. Wow, he said to Zod snap neck. So what do you think? Fucking retarded. How dare you in and come into this room? Pull the rose. Hey, how could defy it? They know so many things. Yeah, only there is something that I am wearing. Glitter on your eyes. I know things. It gets in your food. And I have a secret. Why don't you make me watch this movie? Tell me what the secret is all about. You know what? You guys expected it to be so good. That was the whole reason. With us, frog old. We thought it'd be so funny, but it's more confusing than anything else. I don't really, yeah, like freak out. It's not, you know, it's so bad, but it's like, it's not. Put that on them. It's confusing bad. It's not like terrible in your face. It's not like wish upon where it was like so bad. Every scene was a mystery box of happiness. Every scene was a loot box. I should point was a great way to start this series. Virtual is the audience. But they are. Notice how Virgil's acting right now. Like this is how a normal human would react to this news. To this movie. Look at his face. Oh, is it going to be like, is it going to be like empty? It's going to be. Yeah, I'm, I'm confident of that now. It's all in your head. And then it'll be revealed. It wasn't actually. What are you wearing? I don't know. Just wait. She's appropriating Frogle's culture. True. Yeah, Frog. Yeah, I got it. All right. You don't get to decide when I'm off the hook. I decide when I'm off the hook. Bye, Virgil. We drove together. What is this film? See, there's a little bit left. Why didn't they notice the hay beforehand? But I thought you already said that the guy tricked us. He would have had stuff here anyway. Kevin fell in the river with his life last time. No. Yes. He did? Oh, yes. And yes. Oh my God, this dialogue. He fell in the river. No. He fell in the river. He did? Yes, he did. He did. He fell in the river. He fell in the river. Yes, he did. He fell in the river. You know why it was so fucking blank? It's because this is one shot again. They, they couldn't survive on real dialogue. They had to have like robotic and systematic ones to check off a list. The most grown up thing you can do is fail at things you really care about. ELJ. What? No, it's about accepting responsibility for your decisions and emotionally growing. It's about being responsible. Yeah, I'd say accountability is a big part of the thing. Care about things about development. Is this her arc? She just completed her arc. What is her arc though? Where is she that she wasn't before though? Like, she's in the same position that she was at the beginning of the movie. She's got no job. She's not in art school or whatever. Virgil no. Virgil. How did she know? Why was she not aware of this? Whoa. Whoa. By the way, when it rains, this whole thing's fucked. And there's a giant umbrella above it. We just can't see it. Yeah, but this is like really holding on to the past. It's kind of weird. You need to grow the fuck up and you light some match and drops it. He's like, this is the one you've gone of your sins. She looks down. They're both standing in like a pool of gasoline. It's like you're living like a 12 year old in a fancy way. This is like Captain Marvel. She's looking at all the pictures and explaining her entire history to us. I know. I'm stupid, but he says that the unicorn is there. It's right here. This guy could be dangerous. I don't want to wonder my whole life. There are so many better movies that have that line. I don't want to wonder what it would have been to accept that thing. She doesn't want to wonder if she didn't get to get her unicorn. Oh, what is he wearing? Why didn't he go with it? Because he can't see it because he doesn't believe it. Whatever. It's fine. Just go with her anyway. We're packing up. Time to relocate. What if Virgil's like strung up by his entrails in this room? That would be a good ending. We're not going to get that. Why does this smoke on the floor? It's evaporated. Come on. No, no, no. That's even worse. She's going to knock us out with it, right? The unicorn's going to be like, that's fucking creepy. She's going to not go through with it. Not anymore because I've got Virgil. I've grown up now with the horse thing. The horse is the best character in this movie. All right, then. There she is. No, the way you are is kind of shit. You're just going to walk away. You're not going to take a picture. You're just going to walk away. I found this letter. Oh, she's the one who needs the unicorn. Yeah. You'll turn out. Come on. What is going on? What is going on? This is like a brothel for crazy people. I don't even understand what really happened. What did she learn? And what's that other woman supposed to do? Just walk out into the street with a unicorn? I was surprised. Written by Samantha McLean. No, I've already clicked out. That was awful. That was the one of the worst movies I've ever seen. It was just. What did you say? It's so confusing. It doesn't make sense. Crazy person lives in a world of it's also crazy soulless people and doesn't get along with anybody. How did 59% of people like this? What the fuck even happened? I am confused. What's the plot still? She wants a unicorn. Then she doesn't get the unicorn. Because she learned she doesn't want a unicorn. I don't know. That's the most worthless movie I've ever watched. Also, apparently that woman was already on the way. So I guess she. What if she got there? And she's like, I really, really need this. And then Brie Larson is fucking walking out with the unicorn. It's my unicorn. And Sam Jackson puts another one in Amazon. Like, hey, you just have to wait a few days. We got prime. So the unicorn is real. Right. Question mark. Well, I mean, virtually. The unicorn is called cloud. You watching the credits. The unicorn is like actually in the credits. No, I'm not watching the credits, Fringy. I'm not watching the unicorn store credits. What's kind of fucked up is that this movie kind of treats a decent black man these days like a unicorn. Yeah. Yeah. It's kind of fucked up. Kind of fucked up. I know what Brie Larson is trying to get across here. But I don't know if I like it. Wish upon had the same kind of painful dialogue as this movie as well. I noticed that just the super flat and just progressing the actual conversation. And it feels like an alien wrote it as what humans say to each other. Well, the only people that were even decently acting, I thought, were Virgil and Gary playing these characters that they... Gary was just like a weirdy office space sort of character. I mean, I guess the parents were okay doing their thing. They're weird. That's the thing. It's hard to separate the acting from what are they supposed to do with what they're really doing. Yeah, I laughed like three times. But all times I remember them being like, what the fuck was that doing there? Like, joke. I mean, there were clearly spaces there that were meant to be like, this is where the audience laughs. But we were like, hmm. What a bizarre fucking movie. That'll look next time, Brie. Don't have a next time, Brie. Don't let there be a next time. Yeah, kill yourself.