 I'm the comic weekly man, the jolly comic weekly man. And I'm here to meet the funnies, to you happy boys and honey. Yes, boys and girls, it's comic weekly time. And here I come right into your house to bring a little fun and happiness. Right out of the pages of Puck the Comic Weekly, straight into your living room, your friend, the comic weekly man, the jolly comic weekly man. Well, little Miss Polly, how are you today? Where do you see me? Well, I see you right now. Halloween right now. Ah, you're too pretty. You could never scare me, no matter what outfit you wore. Well, why should I? Sure, I'm going to ask you what you're going to wear the outfit for. Well, all right. Ask it to me. All right. Are you ready? I'm more than ready. I'm dying. OK. What are you going to wear the outfit for? Halloween. Oh, that's right. Halloween will be here in just a few more days. Of course it will. And the sky will be full of witches and broomsticks and goblins and toadstools and toadstools and whistle-dackles. What's the whistle-dackle? Why, anybody knows that. I don't. Well, you look on Halloween, and I'm sure you'll see a whistle-dackle because they always come out on Halloween. No, you're silly. Oh, no, I'm not. If you look very carefully on the top rail, two fences from the corner of Midnight Pasture, you'll be surprised. All right. Please. Oh, you'll find it easily enough. Look over the top of the big oak tree on Hobgoblin Square. And you'll see three bright stars. Turn left, and you'll see Midnight Pastures. Stop there and look for the Bear Constellation. And there, hanging on the Bear's tail, you'll see me and a whistle-dackle sitting on the fence. Halloween. Neither can I. Now will you please read the pennies? Pucked the Comic Weekly? Yes. Very well. I'll read that in just a moment. But before I do, let's listen to this nice man. Now here we go with Pucked the Comic Weekly, and on the first page under bringing up Father Beatle Bailey. Magic words for the music, please. Very well, my lady. Toot me a toot and tweet me a tweedle. Squeeze out music for Bailey the Beatle. Put it to the army camp. Beatle and his pal killer are due for a weekend pass that will allow them to leave their army camp and go to town for the weekend. So they're killing time until five o'clock, which is the time they can leave camp. We find them in the swimming pool. Beatle complains, why won't they let us have our passes until five o'clock? Killer answers, I don't want to make us suffer. We just have to find some way to kill time here at camp. An hour later, they're at the post canteen, getting an ice cream sundae from a very pretty waitress. Hey, you forgot the forge on my sundae. Last picture top row, they kill another hour by playing a game of tennis. First picture bottom row, they're watching a camp show. Hey, I saw it, it's the same show last week. They kill another hour by playing a game of pool. Then comes five o'clock. Oh boy, let's go. Yeah, there's the bus. Like I said, oh boy, let's go. And last picture, they're in town, a small country town. Pigs are lying in the street. A rooster is sitting on the fence. The street is full of mud puddles. And an old man with a long beard and cane walks down the board sidewalk. Howdy fellas, think McKinley will be elected? And Beetle and Killer are leaning against a ramshackle old building. Beetle-sized. Sure is good to get into town and away from it all. Yeah, you said it. That sounds very crazy. Thank you to go into a town like that. Yes, especially when they can have as nice a time as they did out at the army camp while they were waiting to get into town. That Beetle, I just can't understand this. No, neither can I. You know, there's another fellow I can't understand very well. Who's that? Oh, Roy Rogers, friend? Yes, Roy Rogers, friend. I'm anxious to know what's happening here. All right then, let's find out right now. Let's turn over the page and go past little Iodine and Prince Vell. Turn over page three. And here on page four is Roy Rogers. And remember, Groot, who's an inventor. Yes, and Cube had invented a silent explosive. And the cattle rancher, who didn't like Cube, held Roy and Cube up and stole a silent explosive, and he ran off with it. I wonder what he's going to do with it. Let's read now and find out. Here we go with Roy Rogers, king of the cowboys. A yippie-yo, now here we go with Roy and Trigger. A yippie-yo. Roy is puzzled about why Wasp Bascom stole the silent explosive. He and Cube are talking it over when a horseman gallops up. Hi, Roy! Last picture top row, Roy runs out to see what the excitement is. Yeah, what's up, Jim? During the night, that old stone-lined shack near Muddy Creek disappeared into thin air. Meanwhile, second picture bottom row, Wasp Bascom is under a bridge some distance away, tying up a fuse to the bridge girders. He strikes a match. Ah, Cube Roots' noiseless explosive might be as funny as that steer tonic. I'll test out a mite on this bridge and see if it's really silent. Hey, what's that? Horses coming. He scrambles up the bank of the river, carrying the keg of noiseless explosive. Hey, that's Roger's with you better. The bridge is ready to blow. I'm getting out of here. This picture, Roy sees Bascom riding off. Hey, Cube, that's Wasp Bascom. He might know something about this business of the disappearing line shack. Come on! And they spur their horses toward the bridge. Yes, they will. Do you think they will be? Well, we'll find that out next week. But now look across the page. There's the sword and the rose. Oh, yes. I like this story because it's in the early days of England. Yes, and you remember that Charles Brandon was in love with Princess Mary, who was the sister of King Henry. And the Duke of Buckingham had kidnapped the Princess Mary, and he was trying to make her marry him. And Charles Brandon rescued the Princess from the Duke of Buckingham, then fought a duel with the Duke and defeated him. But the King of France wants the Princess Mary to marry him, and I don't want that to happen. I wanted him to raise Charles Brandon. Do you think that'll ever happen? Well, let's read now and find out. It's Mary, Mary, England when knighthood was in flower. Music to bewitch our story hour. We're at the court of King Henry again. Henry, who has been in the North country, has returned to London and is receiving the emissary of the King of France. The emissary kneels before King Henry and opens a casket full of gold. A gift from His Majesty, King Francis, who begs you to make him the husband of your sister, Mary. And then the Princess Mary enters the room. And having overheard the Frenchman's words, she speaks up. But I already have a husband. Why is the Princess? Last picture top row, Brandon enters the room behind the Princess. I look for him. It's Brandon. But it's Charles Brandon. He's alive. King Henry exclaims an astonishment. Brandon, I thought you were dead. A false impression created by the Duke of Buckingham, Your Highness. First picture bottom row, the Princess Mary tells the King her brother. Soon after Charles saved me from the evil Duke, we were married at the quiet church in Dover. Charles, we owe you much. I approve the match. Then the Princess turns to the emissary from the King of France. Pray, take the gold away and tell your wicked master the King of England would not sell his sister into slavery. Nay, rather than be thought surly, we will accept the gold. Convey to the King of France our heartfelt thanks. Then the King turns to Brandon. In token of your valour, Charles, I shall make you Duke of Suffolk on one condition. The last picture the King points to Mary and looks at Brandon with a twinkle in his eye. Then chuckles the condition that you take this conniving little vixen down to Suffolk and keep her there. Yes, at last they're man and wife. And King Henry is going to be nice about it and let them say that way. Yes, he will. Will they live happily ever after? Oh, I'm sure they will. Is that the end of the story? Yes, that's the end of the story. But next week you look in the comic weekly and you'll see that Walt Disney is starting another exciting story called Ben and Me. Who's Ben? Oh, you'll find that out next week when you look in the comic weekly. Who often will look for that? All right, Ben. Well, now let's turn over the page. Oh, look, there's Flash Gordon. Yes, and you remember that Flash Gordon is on a strange planet. And he went there. And after talking to the old hermit Philo, Flash has gone into the doomed city. And then when he came to the gate of the city, a strange voice from nowhere spoke to him. And Flash answered, saying that he had come as a friend. And the voice said, all right, you may enter. And when Flash entered, the walls came up all around him and he was trapped in a small room. What will happen? Well, let's read now and find out. Here we go with Flash Gordon. A rig-a-rig-a-doon-doons ask him a task. Let's set music for heroic play. Trapped in the chamber, Flash hammers against the wall. Then he pauses and thinks, the voice that challenged me sounded canned, mechanical, but a neat trap. An electronic eye picks me up approaching the city. Then a robot voice lures me into position. And then the prison cell pops out of the ground. And what's said at all? Key words. Sure, key words. And it could be a key command that will reverse the process. Flash picked a top row. He puts his ID into action. Anyway, I'll try. Release the prisoner. Open up. Breathe a visitor. Let him pass. Four hours. Flash starts dozens of word combinations with no success. Finally, first picture bottom row all worn out in size. Oh, I'm exhausted. I can barely keep awake. Awake. Awake. Awake. The word echoes through the cell. And then Flash stares around him in astonishment. The walls. They retract. I hit it. I hit the key word. The last picture, he rushes forward. Maybe now I'll find out what Philo meant about this being a city of doom. Hey, watch this up ahead. That's how it all happened. Yes, it was a voice that was put on a record. And when the voice said certain words, the key words made the cell close. And the key words awake made it open. Yeah, that's right. Well, we'll find that out next week. Now it's time to pick up the first page of the second section. Well, I'll read that in just a moment. But first here's that nice man again with something interesting to say. Here we go again with Puck's The Comic Weekly. And on the first page of the second section, Dag Wood and Blondie. Magic words for the music, please. Very well, my lady, please. I'm a food, I'm a fun, sim, sim, zombie. Conjure me music for Dag Wood and Blondie. Blondie and the children are going downtown for a while. We'll be back in about an hour. Good, then I can have my bath in peace and quiet. Ten minutes later, the postman is ringing the Bumpster doorbell. One out of the upstairs window floats Dag Wood's voice. And by the time you can say, there are three cents due in this letter. Last picture, top row, the postman is Dag Wood's bathroom. There are three cents due on this letter. You think I'm sitting in this tub of my pants on? Well, confidentially, Mr. Bumpster, I wouldn't say yes. And then again, I wouldn't say no. First picture, second row, the neighborhood kids are gathered together. And five minutes later, last picture, second row, the kids dash out of Dag Wood's bathroom, one of them waving the bathtub plug. First picture, third row, Dag Wood groans. Oh, now I got to keep my big toe in the drain to save my water. For three minutes, all is quiet. Then, outside on the street, who should appear but Mr. Dithers, Dag Wood's boss? He walks toward the Bumpster house. While I'm in his neighborhood, I'll stop in and tell Dag Wood that he decided to give him his $10 a week raise. Last picture, third row. Dag Wood, a nervous wreck sits in his bathtub holding a wet towel. So help me, the next person who comes in that door against this soaking towel right in the kisser. And then, footsteps are heard coming up the stairs. And a second later, first picture, bottom row, Mr. Dithers appears in the bathroom door. And... He gets the wet towel smacking his face. Dithers jerks the towel off his face and explodes. Raise your fire! Five minutes later, Blondie comes in the house and she hears... She goes upstairs, opens the bathroom door. He had a terrible time. Not the way it looks. I just love it when Mr. Dithers and Dag Wood get together. They're so ferocious. Well, now let's see what's happening to Rusty Riley, shall we? Yes, sir. All right, then turn over the page. And here on page three, the second section, under Dick's adventures is Rusty Riley. And you may approach from a girl in that theater company. Yes, and shorty was dressed like Rusty so that everybody thinks Rusty was a thief. And the mother of the girl wants to have Rusty thrown in jail. But Rusty is told Tex what's happened, and Tex is going to do a little investigating. He'll figure out a way to help us. Well, let's read now and find out. Here we go with Rusty Riley. Gallop and run till the road is dusty. Give us music for his horse and Rusty. Tex is talking over the situation with Mr. Miles. Hey, boys, this is a serious business about Rusty. That snooty Mrs. J. Funston Castle is putting pressure on the police to throw the boy in the pokey. Mr. Miles answers, Oh, she never could believe a boy from an orphanage could be any good. This charge is ridiculous. Yeah, sure, it's ridiculous for you and me, boss. But the police have built up a case that may be strong enough to hold him for a juvenile court. But Tex granting that the circumstantial evidence is against Rusty, what motive could such a boy possibly have to steal a pearl necklace? Yeah, we got a bad break there, boss. And ordinary uncle Rufus of Rusty's was paroled two weeks ago. The police figure he put Rusty up to. Last picture top row, Mr. Miles says, Well, believe me, I'm not going to sit back and let that boy be punished for something I know he couldn't do. I'll get him the best lawyer in Kentucky. That's your first great idea, boys. But I got a few ideas myself. You get his hearing postponed a week and then give me a few days off and I think we can get at the truth of this. First picture bottom row, Tex is out in the pasture talking with Rusty. Hey, Rusty, with Mr. Miles to miss him, I've appointed myself a kind of a deputy defense attorney. Now, I want you to think hard and try to remember the name of the man with the trailer that you helped out of that muddle. Cheaper, Tex, I didn't sleep all night trying to remember, but I just never noticed. But he was going to go to join the carnival. Hey, wait a minute, carnival. Where's your old friend, Stove Pipe? You have his address? Well, he gave me the address of his agent. He said I could always reach him that way. I get it. And a short time later, Tex has called Stove Pipe's agent. And last picture, some time later in the distant town of Smithburg in front of a tent which bears the sign Ramapo Snake Oil Nature's Partner. One of the carnival men is delivering a message to Rusty's old friend, Stove Pipe. Hey, Doc! Lexington, Kentucky, is trying to get him long distance. Call Operator 4 from the office wagon. Lexington. He gets the hometown of my former juvenile companion, Rusty Rylan. Oh, dear. I wonder if the lad's in trouble. Yes, you bet he is. He's gotten in touch with Stove Pipe already. Yes, and maybe stuck in the mud. And if they find him, he can tell the detective that Rusty was helping him at the time that the pearls were stolen. And then they can't throw Rusty in jail. No, they can't. Oh, I hope that happens next week. Well, maybe next week at will. But now look across the page. There's your old pal, Donald Duckle. And he's good for a big fat shuffle. Yes, so we'll read now. Here we go with Donald Duck. Say the magic words with me. Squeegeum, squeegeum, squeegee-chicka-chack. Let's have music. Quack, quack. Donald is reading a book. When one of his nephews yells, Donald goes into the next room. Yeah, what's missing, boys? The silver? No, a baseball, that's what. No, no, don't get panicky. Let's hunt for it. They look in the icebox. Not here. They look in the kitchen under the sink. Not here. The last picture top row, they look in the bookcase. Not in this drawer. First picture bottom row dewey sobs. Oh, just when we have a big game. Okay, okay, now calm down. Donald puts on his cap and goes to the door. Donals will be open. I'll buy you a new one. Oh, gee, Uncle Donald, thank you, Pete. Yeah, thanks, Uncle Donald. Yeah, thank you. You're an awful lot, Uncle Donald. Donald opens the door and starts out. Nothing at all, boy. And last picture, there lies Donald on the sidewalk, a big hunk of paint. A big hunk of paint. And right by his feet lies the baseball. Jay, the ball. Hang it down at your party. Yeah. And when I get up, I'm going to find you. And the baseball was lying right on the doorstep and Donald stepped on it. Now let's turn over the page. And look. And Uncle Remus. You know I love them, too. So we'll read them right now. Here we go with Uncle Remus and his tales of Burr Rabbit. Say the magic words with me. Gippity hoppity, make it a habit to give us music for old Burr Rabbit. Uncle Remus says, The creeders has got the jitter jumps because Mr. Dog has been doing some night raiding. Yes, all the creeders in the community are really scared because Mr. Dog has been doing an awful lot of house snitching. The sheriff even holds up a sign which reads, Beware! Mr. Dog, night prowlers! The sheriff says, Burr Rabbit, how is this going to catch this critter? It may make an usin' easy to catch. The only way to catch a thief, Sheriff, is to give him something to thief with. Now you do what I say. Later in the clock. After dark to be exact. Behind a tree and Burr Rabbit's yard. A dark figure is sculpting. To be precise, it is Mr. Dog, the night prowler, aiming to do a little night raiding in Burr Rabbit's house. He sees Burr Rabbit in the window. And here is Burr Rabbit saying, I ain't scared. Mr. Dog ain't out to bother me. Mr. Dog chuckles. That's what makes him. That's what makes him a rabbit. Last picture, top roll. Mr. Dog tiptoes toward the house. This is as easy as pouring cane syrup on cornpone. First picture, bottom roll. Gun in hand. He enters the house. Rabbits was made limp in the head. So it'd be easy for dogs to be smarter. He steps in the living room. And he stares in amazement. For instead of Burr Rabbit sitting in the window, he sees a shade with the image of Burr Rabbit painted on it. And a candle lighted behind it. And then the sheriff and Burr Rabbit guns in hand step in the door behind him. Consider yourself astonished, Mr. Dog. Yeah, one move and you is blunderbusted. And last picture, the sheriff and Burr Rabbit are marching Mr. Dog to jail. And as Mr. Dog walks along, he shakes his head sadly. And to think, a rabbit done this to me. Yeah, wait till you see what the law's gonna do. And Uncle Rima says, a thief in a jug is worth two in the ambush. Yeah, Mr. Dog didn't find that robbing Burr Rabbit was as easy as pouring cane syrup on cornpone. No, and it looked like Burr Dog is the one that's limping the head. And Burr Rabbit is the one that is smarter in the head. Oh, I just love that, Burr Rabbit. So do I. Well, now that's all the time I have. But before I go, here's that nice fellow with some more interesting information. Well, honey, and all you boys and girls, I've got to go now. All right, Mr. Comic Weekly man, but I'll be waiting for you next week. Okay, that's the date. And a date with all you boys and girls. Be sure to meet me with our little friend, Miss Honey, next week when I read Puck the Comic Weekly. For I'm the Comic Weekly man, the Jolly Comic Weekly man. I'll be back to read the funnies to you happy boys and honey. Don't forget, boys and girls, see you all next week. Your friend, the Comic Weekly man, the Jolly Comic Weekly man.