 Alright, we're at the Easton Facility here with Coach Ballgame, best little league coach in the nation. That's Coach. Best coach? Okay. Wow. Best coach in the nation. He's going to run us through some drills the same way he runs his eight year olds through some drills. Attaboy! Arms up, show off those armpits. Touch your toes, don't pick your nose. Spread them out wide, sniff your left patella. My left kneecap smells like peanut butter. One, two, three, yeah! One, two, three, wow! One, two, three, bang! Coach, what should my left knee smell like? It should smell like a mixture of bengue and humor. Huh? Switch! Got the first one. Call this the modeling pose. This feels natural. I challenge you to break this out on your next date. I'm 10, bring it in. Ball player on three. One, two, three! Ball player. Alright, team meeting pose. That is a heck of a workout. Nice. Real name. Jake. You got a nickname? Poppy. Let's give Poppy and Attaboy. One, two, three. Attaboy! What's your real name, brother? Jimmy. You got a nickname? Jemima O'Baniel. Oh, baby! Skip Jemima O'Baniel and Attaboy. One, two, three. Attaboy! Very good. I want to teach you how to catch. Alright. Beautiful. Now, before we learn how to catch, let's tuck that shirt in, navel to navel. Make sure we're 360 degrees. I went to an Angels game the other day. Guess who had their shirt tucked in? Who? Every single baseball player. Boom. You're going to run faster. You're going to throw it harder. You're going to look way better. Shirt tucked in. I tuck my shirt in when I go get the mail. What's this, boys? Glove. That's right. We don't want to catch a ball like this. That's a cup of soup. Say cup of soup. Cup of soup. We want to go fingers to the sky. Meat, squeeze, and freeze. Say that with me. Meat, squeeze, and freeze. You don't want to swat at it like it's a fly. Don't swat at it like it's a fly. Meat it. Squeeze it. Meat it. Squeeze it. Meat it. Squeeze it. But don't forget to freeze it. Meat it. Squeeze it. Meat it. Squeeze it. Meat it. Squeeze it. Don't forget to freeze it. How do we throw the ball? Here, Waxville. Say no. Teacherville. Say yeah. Yeah. Raise your hand like you're in class. Say teacherville. Teacherville. Every great throw passes through teacherville. Now imagine there's a saber-toothed tiger out in front of you. You've got a real itchy back. Scratch that tiger's back. Say scratch that tiger. Scratch that tiger. Great. Say scratch that tiger. Scratch that tiger. Very nice. If you get earwax on the ball, the ball's going to go nowhere like this. Very good. What's the back of my shirt saying? What a ball player does. When a ball player wins, do they make the other team cry? Tends on the luck. No. No. Do they say, I hate your socks? No. They say you smell kind of weird. They do not. They say good game. What about if you lose? You've been playing the wrong team. It's a good game. It's a good point. Yeah. When a ball player loses, do they cry? No. They throw their hand on the ground? No. Do they say, I think that should be allowed. Trash can like this. That's full of water. Ball player loses. Do they flip their phone out and say, Mom, pick me up. I quit. For breakfast, John boy. What about you, Poppy? I had some chips and guacamole. It's pretty gross. Do you wash it down with some milk? Have not. That's too bad. First rule of the ground ball, your glove and your two feet create what shape? Triangle. Say triangle. Triangle. Very nice to create that triangle. I'm going to do this bad boy. Who's mouth does that? Alligator. Say alligator. Alligator. Wrong. Bang. Fielding triangle. Alligator. Now here's something we don't do a lot. We hunk us down. Dance on a toilet. Dance on a toilet. Down and ready position goes like this. Sumo. Sumo. Peaches in your hand too. Dance on a toilet. This is natural. I'll be giving out the dance on a toilet award at the end of the day. Boom. That's how Jake naturally shits. Just two pizzas and dancing. Kid, don't say the word that he just said. Say poop. Out of the hunk us. I've stared up the hunk us of a rhinoceros before. She's throwing the ball pretty hard. There he is. Let's switch it up. How old? Yeah. Everybody say alligator. Alligator. Every time you feel the ball say alligator. Alligator. I was for you. Alligator. Alligator. That chest bump was lit. Sumo. Friday dance on a toilet. Come on. Explore the space. Baseball's not all about, you know, songs and skills. It's about people and heartbeats. So start with you, John Boy. Something you remember about Little League Baseball. That you love. I like practices. Relay races. What about, what was your favorite part about that practice and relay race? Friendly competition within the team. I like that a lot. Poppy. I love playing against my buddies. You know, see your buddy on the mound. You don't want to have that smirk on your face because you know the pros don't have that smirk on their face. Then you start smirking on your face a little bit. So it's all about that. Did things ever get weird? Yeah. Tell me about that. In the meantime, the kid was running home while I was playing catcher. He slid home and I took the throw. He took my feet out. So I fell on top of him. And then we just kind of stayed laying on top of each other for a good five minutes. And slowly I took my pants off. And then I didn't call safer out. So we just were holding the position, waiting for the ump. And eventually everyone was left. They called me and this kid playing. So I got weird ones. I got to give you a Ryan Sandberg for that man. Ryan Sandberg. He does. What about you, Papier? He's a bit weird. I was the kid laying on him. Alright. Here comes the reprise. Let's find that moment. You're the catcher. And uh... You're the... You're on third. I'm on third. Alright. Let's see what we could have done differently. You guys probably thought this moment would never repeat itself. But dreams are made to come true. And my dream is literally happening right now. We've been repressing this memory for too long. Ball is whacked to the outfield. Boom! Papier racing home. Knees up, toes out. Ball comes in. Explore that space right there. But I think about it. That didn't happen on a baseball. Here. Atta boy. Atta boy. Atta boy. Atta boy. Atta boy. See you atta boy. Good luck. Stage left. On three, one, two, three. Can we have some uncomfortable eye contact? With the camera or with you? With me. We'll just let that moment sit for a second. Sounds good. I'm gonna grab the comfortable one. Good, good. Go with you. Now that's tough to look at. Just relax your facial muscles. Don't freak the porcelain doll smile on you. That's the smile of a kid who wants a new dad. You run into that a lot? We're ready. We're ready. No comment. So I'm gonna teach you guys how to choose some seeds, man. So you take the seed sideways, back of the molar. Crack. You separate the two. There. There. And then you got the seed inside. And what you want to do is you want to scoop the seed out with the front of your teeth. And then spit out the shell. And then you're good. So try not to use your hands. That makes you look like an amateur. I'm an expert. Crack. Transition. Scoop. Spit. Swallow. You're doing a lot of hand stuff. He was showing you what should be happening inside your mouth. Crack? No, no, no, no. No. No. You look like a feral squirrel in the woods trying to non- Thanks coach. Stuff. But don't take that personal. Let's try it again. Crack with the molar. Transition to the front. And swallow. Now, if you want to go big fly, show them how to go lots of seeds. It's called expert sneed. Sneeding. But seeding. Minus the end. I threw an extra hand in there. Boom. Expert sneeding. Now you go, Jake, you go pop it on the left. Transfer one over. You're right. Crack. See, there's the no. No. No. But. There's a big no in sneeding. Now, I like to wash down my seeds with some cold milk. So, let's see. That's good. That's good till tomorrow, so. That's too much milk. Oh, no. Oh, no. That's good, coach. You ever read a paper before? Dabbled. What do we got here? Doesn't matter, because it's time for baseball again. Okay. That's the reason I bought that. It's up on the baseball train. Brooks Robinson played third base. Human vacuum cleaner. Look at the batter. B. Humpkes down. Now I'm a shortstop. I'm a shortstop. There, Deeter played shortstop. Pizza. Say I'm a second baseman. I'm a second baseman. Joe Morgan played second base. Jackie Robinson played second base. I'm a first baseman. I'm a first baseman. Will Clark played first base. The thrill. Push-up time. Every time you do a push-up, say your favorite cereal. Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Cheerios. Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Honey Nut Cheerios. Pops are allowed to change my favorite. Yep. Sometimes I like life, but I know that's pretty boring to admit. What's the like honey nut-oat mix? I like that. I like that. Loser. I like that. I like weedies if I ever want to eat something I hate. Yep. Broody pebbles? Yep. Cocoa Puffs. Count Chocula when you really just want chocolate milk? Crunchberries. Lucky Charms. Oh. Those are all I know, so I gotta opt out. It wasn't because I was tired. Let's go over here. And we can use these beautiful eastern bats. Slug. I treat my hitting like a pizza. And what do you put on pizzas? Toppings. Toppings. Topping number one. You want to be able to swing the bat with a balanced finish. See how I look like a statue? See how my bat looks like I'm stretching my back? You ever see a back stretcher? Oh yeah. Yeah? Yes sir. Notice my back toe has squished two big fat hairy beetles. Wow. That transitions the power to the front side. Everybody say wow. Wow. Topping number two. We gotta have serious vision. So, if you look at a major leaguer in slow motion, their eyes are wide open when they hit the ball. See the ball hit the bat. Wide open. And I'll go even further. After you hit the ball, bang. Keep your eyes right there. Say wow. Wow. Staring contest. Topping three. No, not with each other. Sorry. And topping number three. Do we want a big swing backwards? Yes. Say no. No. Do we want a quick swing forwards? Yes. Say yes. Yes. Very good. Think about it like this. Burger land is back here. Does my bat have time to go back and get a burger? No. No. We gotta shave our mustache. Hands past the face. Shave that mustache. Bang. Quick swing forwards. John Boy, give it a try. Little dance in the stance. Root yourself in the ground. Load back. No burger. No burger. Mustache. Shaving. Switch. Root yourself in the ground now. Load. And explode. Try that again. I tried to squash too many bugs. Yeah. Three beetles down there. There's only two. That's right. What if I've never had a mustache? Well, use your imagination. I'll sing you a song and it'll help with your mustache thought. Raleigh's went up and the goose went down but we shouldn't overlook the best of mustache in town. It's the salic. Oh, it's called the salic. Ain't nothing fancy, no elaborate whisker but some of the best that ever played. Just wore a simple patch of fur. Another top lip. Next ball. How was my swing? That was much better. Switch. Now, I want you to explore the space a little bit. After you hit it, give me some sort of dance bat flip. Give me a little bit of your personality. The first bank. The first? No. Swag. That's a bad teammate. All right. Man, look at the glutes on that guy. Thanks, coach. You bet. All right. After our three-topping pizza, give me a little personality. Slide into first. Give me an Atta Boy, one, two, three. I'll be our teammate over here. We don't award for the best hitting, the best throwing. We award for the good choices. This ball player decided to hustle every second of the day. Come on down, John Boy. Round of applause. Lance Parrish. This is his favorite player. He was dreaming of a Lance Parrish player. Let's give him my black salute. Mustache, beard, mullet, sportsmanship salute, double bicep, bounce back, violin, stand-up base, Ron Burgundy flute, and an Atta Boy, one, two, three. Atta Boy! Now, this ball player decided to be the best teammate of the day. Sled head first and didn't give up. Even when he really did some poor things, he bounced back and he gets a Skeeter Barnes. Poppy, round of applause. Just say something intimate about each other or something you're thankful for. Say something thankful. Say something you're thankful for about Poppy. I'm thankful that you're my same height. Switch. I'm thankful to be joined by two guys with such nice eyes and facial hair, because I have neither. Well, switch. Thank you for complimenting my facial hair. It felt like one of those double, like, thank you for thanking me, I don't know. Time! Is a ball player passive aggressive? No. No. Switch. It's tough, Coach. I'm not seeing much. We're a team. Okay. It's not surficy stuff here. This is hearts. I like that the hair on your arm comes to a firm stop at a certain point on your hand. When you were drinking the milk. He didn't say switch. Switch. When you were drinking the milk and you had some white stuff come down, I thought, that looks better than your natural skin tone and maybe if a juggler like would suit you well. Switch. Keep going. I like the way that you know to wear a hat to cover up the gray on your head. All of mine have been hair related. Thank you. Switch. Switch. I like that shirt. I like that you're not intimidated by my sexuality. Yeah. Switch. I think it'd be cool to see you. I think it'd be cool to see you attempt to swim and maybe fail in one of these cages. Thanks for driving today. One time in high school, I mistakenly called you John and I felt real bad about it. Got blushing. Switch. Thank you for catching my sneeze. Catch you. That was really fun. The stretch was honestly the best stretch I've had in a while. Yep. I never knew the shape of the mustache. I needed you when I was eight. Yep. You're going forwards. You don't want to go big backwards. Favorite part for you? I like sitting on the toilet holding pizza. I'm telling you man, you get down and dirty. Your favorite part of today? Oh, during the baseball. Learning how to choose seeds. I feel like I figured that out now. Yeah, the milk helps a lot with that. It's something I struggled with. I never tried the milk with that. I love it. Ball player on three. Stay hindering. One, two, three. Ball player. Thanks coach. Thanks coach.