 Book 9, Chapter 5 of the Brothers Karamazov. This is a LibriVox recording, or LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Recording by Martin Geeson. The Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dastayevsky, translated by Constance Garnet. Book 9, Chapter 5, The Third Ordeal. Though Mitya spoke sullenly, it was evident that he was trying more than ever not to forget or miss a single detail of his story. He told them how he had leapt over the fence in his father's garden, how he had gone up to the window, told them all that had passed under the window. Clearly, precisely, distinctly, he described the feelings that troubled him during those moments in the garden when he longed so terribly to know whether Grushanka was with his father or not. But strange to say, both the lawyers listened now with a sort of awful reserve, looked coldly at him, asked few questions. Mitya could gather nothing from their faces. They were angry and offended, he thought, well, bother them. When he described how he made up his mind at last to make the signal to his father that Grushanka had come, so that he should open the window, the lawyers paid no attention to the word signal, as though they had entirely failed to grasp the meaning of the word in this connection. So much so that Mitya noticed it. Coming at last to the moment when seeing his father peering out of the window, his hatred flared up, and he pulled the pestle out of his pocket. He suddenly, as though of design, stopped short. He sat gazing at the wall, and was aware that their eyes were fixed upon him. Well, said the investigating lawyer, you pulled out the weapon, and what happened then? Then, why then, I murdered him, hit him on the head, and cracked his skull. I suppose that's your story, that's it. His eyes suddenly flashed. All his smothered wrath suddenly flamed up with extraordinary violence in his soul. Our story repeated Nikolai Parfenovich. Mitya dropped his eyes, and was a long time silent. My story, gentlemen, well, it was like this. He began softly. Whether it was someone's tears, or my mother prayed to God, or a good angel kissed me at that instant, I don't know, but the devil was conquered. I rushed from the window, and ran to the fence. My father was alarmed, and for the first time he saw me then, cried out, and sprang back from the window. I remember that very well. I ran across the garden to the fence, and there Grigori caught me when I was sitting on the fence. At that point he raised his eyes at last, and looked at his listeners. They seemed to be staring at him with perfectly unruffled attention. A sort of paroxysm of indignation seized on Mitya's soul. Why, you're laughing at me at this moment, gentlemen, he broke off suddenly. What makes you think that, observed Nikolai Parfenovich? You don't believe one word, that's why. I understand, of course, that I've come to the vital point. The old man's lying there now with his skull broken, while I, after dramatically describing how I wanted to kill him, and how I snatched up the pestle, I suddenly run away from the window. A romance, poetry, as though one could believe a fellow on his word. Ha-ha! You are scoffers, gentlemen! And he swung round on his chair so that it creaked. And did you notice, asked the prosecutor, suddenly as though not observing Mitya's excitement, did you notice when you ran away from the window whether the door into the garden was open? No, it was not open. It was not. It was shut. And who could open it? Bah! The door! Wait a bit. He seemed suddenly to be think himself, and almost with a start. Why, did you find the door open? Yes, it was open. Why, who could have opened it if you did not open it yourselves? cried Mitya, greatly astonished. The door stood open, and your father's murderer undoubtedly went in at that door. And having accomplished the crime, went out again by the same door. The prosecutor pronounced deliberately, as though chiselling out each word separately. That is perfectly clear. The murder was committed in the room and not through the window. That is absolutely certain from the examination that has been made, from the position of the body and everything, there can be no doubt of that circumstance. Mitya was absolutely dumbfounded. But that's utterly impossible, he cried completely at a loss. I didn't go in. I tell you positively, definitely the door was shut the whole time I was in the garden, and when I ran out of the garden, I only stood at the window and saw him through the window. That's all. That's all. I remember to the last minute, and if I didn't remember it would be just the same. I know it, for no one knew the signals except Smertyakov and me, and the dead man. And he wouldn't have opened the door to anyone in the world without the signals. Signals? What signals? Asked the prosecutor with greedy, almost hysterical curiosity. He instantly lost all trace of his reserve and dignity. He asked the question with a sort of cringing timidity. He sent an important fact of which he had known nothing, and was already filled with dread that Mitya might be unwilling to disclose it. So, you didn't know, Mitya winked at him with a malicious and mocking smile. What if I won't tell you? From whom could you find out? No one knew about the signals except my father, Smertyakov and me, that was all. Heaven knew too, but it won't tell you. But it's an interesting fact, there's no knowing what you might build on it. Take comfort, gentlemen, I'll reveal it. You've some foolish idea in your hearts. You don't know the man you have to deal with. You have to deal with a prisoner who gives evidence against himself to his own damage. Yes, for I am a man of honour, and you are not. The prosecutor swallowed this without a murmur. He was trembling with impatience to hear the new fact. Minutely and diffusely, Mitya told them everything about the signals invented by Fyodor Pavlovich for Smertyakov. He told them exactly what every tap on the window meant, tapped the signals on the table. And when Nikolai Parfenovich said that he supposed he, Mitya, had tapped the signal Grushenko has come, when he tapped to his father, he answered precisely that he had tapped that signal, that Grushenko had come. So now you can build up your tower, Mitya broke off, and again turned away from them contemptuously. So no one knew of the signals but your dead father, you and the Vale Smertyakov. And no one else, Nikolai Parfenovich inquired once more. Yes, the Vale Smertyakov and heaven. Write down about heaven that may be of use, besides you will need God yourselves. And they had already of course begun writing it down. But while they wrote, the prosecutor said suddenly, as though pitching on a new idea. But if Smertyakov also knew of these signals and you absolutely deny all responsibility for the death of your father, was it not he perhaps who knocked the signal agreed upon, induced your father to open to him, and then committed the crime. Mitya turned upon him a look of profound irony and intense hatred. His silent stare lasted so long that it made the prosecutor blink. You've caught the fox again, commented Mitya, at last. You've got the beast by the tail. Ha, ha, I see through you, Mr. Prosecutor. You thought, of course, that I should jump at that, catch it, you're prompting, and shout with all my might. Aye, it's Smertyakov, he is the murderer. Confess that that's what you thought. Confess, and I'll go on. But the prosecutor did not confess. He held his tongue and waited. You're mistaken, I'm not going to shout, it's Smertyakov, said Mitya. And you don't even suspect him. Why do you suspect him? He is suspected too. Mitya fixed his eyes on the floor. Joking apart, he brought out gloomily, listen, from the very beginning, almost from the moment when I ran out to you from behind the curtain, I've had the thought of Smertyakov in my mind. I've been sitting here shouting that I'm innocent and thinking all the time, Smertyakov. I can't get Smertyakov out of my head. In fact, I too thought of Smertyakov just now, but only for a second. Almost at once I thought, no, it's not Smertyakov, it's not his doing, gentlemen. In that case, is there anybody else you suspect? Nikolai Parfenovich inquired cautiously. I don't know anyone it could be, whether it's the hand of heaven or of Satan, but not Smertyakov. Mitya jerked out with the decision. But what makes you affirm so confidently and emphatically that it's not he? From my conviction, my impression. Because Smertyakov is a man of the most abject character and a coward. He's not a coward, he's the epitome of all the cowardice in the world walking on two legs. He has the heart of a chicken. When he talked to me, he was always trembling for fear I should kill him, though I never raised my hand against him. He fell at my feet and blubbered. He has kissed these very boots, literally, beseeching me not to frighten him. Do you hear not to frighten him? What a thing to say. Why, I offered him money. He's a peeling chicken, sickly, epileptic, weak-minded. A child of eight could thrash him. He has no character worth talking about. He's not Smertyakov, gentlemen. He doesn't care for money. He wouldn't take my presence. Besides, what motive had he for murdering the old man? Well, he's very likely his son, you know, his natural son. Do you know that? We have heard that legend, but you are your father's son, too, you know. Yet you yourself told everyone you meant to murder him. That's a thrust and a nasty mean one, too. I'm not afraid. Oh, gentlemen, isn't it too base of you to say that to my face? It's base, because I told you that myself. I not only wanted to murder him, but I might have done it. And what's more, I went out of my way to tell you of my own accord that I nearly murdered him. But you see, I didn't murder him. You see, my guardian angel saved me. That's what you've not taken into account. And that's why it's so base of you. For if I didn't kill him, I didn't kill him. Do you hear, I did not kill him. He was almost choking. He had not been so moved before during the whole interrogation. And what has he told you, gentlemen, Smartyakov, I mean? He asked suddenly after a pause, may I ask that question? You may ask any question. The prosecutor replied with frigid severity. Any question relating to the facts of the case? And we are, I repeat, bound to answer every inquiry you make. We found the servant Smartyakov concerning whom you inquire, lying unconscious in his bed in an epileptic fit of extreme severity that had recurred possibly 10 times. The doctor who was with us told us after seeing him that he may possibly not outlive the night. Well, if that's so, the devil must have killed him, broke suddenly from Mitya, as though until that moment he had been asking himself, was it Smartyakov or not? We will come back to this later, Nikolai Parfenovich decided. Now, wouldn't you like to continue your statement? Mitya asked for a rest. His request was courteously granted. After resting, he went on with his story. But he was evidently depressed. He was exhausted, mortified, and morally shaken. To make things worse, the prosecutor exasperated him as though intentionally by vexatious interruptions about trifling points. Scarcely had Mitya described how sitting on the wall he had struck Grigori on the head with the pestle while the old man had hold of his left leg and how he then jumped down to look at him when the prosecutor stopped him to ask him to describe exactly how he was sitting on the wall. Oh, I was sitting like this, astride, one leg on one side of the wall and one on the other. And the pestle. The pestle was in my hand, not in your pocket. Do you remember that precisely? Was it a violent blow you gave him? It must have been a violent one, but why do you ask? Would you mind sitting on the chair just as you sat on the wall then and showing us just how you moved your arm and in what direction? You're making fun of me, aren't you? asked Mitya, looking haughtily at the speaker, that the latter did not flinch. Mitya turned abruptly, sat astride on his chair, and swung his arm. This was how I struck him. That's how I knocked him down. What more do you want? Thank you. May I trouble you now to explain why you jumped down with what object and what you had in view? Oh, hang it. I jumped down to look at the man I'd hurt. I don't know what for. Though you were so excited and were running away. Yes, though I was excited and running away, you wanted to help him. Help? Yes, perhaps I did want to help him. I don't remember. You don't remember. And you didn't quite know what you were doing. Not at all. I remember everything, every detail. I jumped down to look at him and wiped his face with my handkerchief. We have seen your handkerchief. Did you hope to restore him to consciousness? I don't know whether I hoped it. I simply wanted to make sure whether he was alive or not. Ah, you wanted to be sure. Well, what then? I'm not a doctor. I couldn't decide. I ran away thinking I'd killed him. And now he's recovered. Excellent, commented the prosecutor. Thank you. That's all I wanted. Kindly proceed. Alas, it never entered Mitya's head to tell them, though he remembered it, that he had jumped back from pity and standing over the prostrate figure had even uttered some words of regret. You've come to grief, old man. There's no help for it. Well, there you must lie. The prosecutor could only draw one conclusion that the man had jumped back at such a moment and in such excitement, simply with the object of ascertaining whether the only witness of his crime were dead, that he must therefore have been a man of great strength, coolness, decision, and foresight, even at such a moment, and so on. The prosecutor was satisfied. I've provoked the nervous fellow by trifles and he has said more than he meant. With painful effort Mitya went on, but this time he was pulled up immediately by Nikolai Parfenovic. How came you to run to the servant, Fedosia Markovna, with your hands so covered with blood and as it appears your face, too? Why, I didn't notice the blood at all at the time, answered Mitya. That's quite likely it does happen sometimes, the prosecutor exchanged glances with Nikolai Parfenovic. I simply didn't notice. I'd write there, prosecutor. Mitya assented suddenly. Next came the account of Mitya's sudden determination to step aside and make way for their happiness. But he could not make up his mind to open his heart to them as before and tell them about the queen of his soul. He disliked speaking of her before these chilly persons who were fastening on him like bugs. And so in response to their reiterated questions, he answered briefly and abruptly. Well, I made up my mind to kill myself. What had I left to live for? That question stared me in the face. Her first rightful lover had come back, the man who had wronged her, but who'd hurried back to offer his love after five years and atone for the wrong with marriage. So I knew it was all over for me. And behind me disgrace and that blood, Grigoris, what had I to live for? So I went to redeem the pistols I had pledged to load them and put a bullet in my brain tomorrow. And a grand feast the night before. Yes, a grand feast the night before. Damn it, all gentlemen, do make haste and finish it. I meant to shoot myself not far from here and beyond the village. And I'd planned to do it at five o'clock in the morning. And I had a note in my pocket already. I wrote it at Perhotin's when I loaded my pistols. Here's the letter, read it. It's not for you, I tell it, he added contemptuously. He took it from his whiskered pocket and flung it on the table. The lawyers read it with curiosity and as is usual, added it to the papers connected with the case. And you didn't even think of washing your hands at Perhotin's. You were not afraid then of arousing suspicion. What suspicion? Suspicion or not, I should have galloped there just the same and shot myself at five o'clock and you wouldn't have been in time to do anything. If it hadn't been for what's happened to my father you would have known nothing about it and wouldn't have come here. Oh, it's the devil's doing. It was the devil murdered father. It was through the devil that you found it out so soon. How did you manage to get here so quick? It's marvellous, a dream. Mr. Perhotin informed us that when you came to him you held in your hands, your bloodstained hands, your money, a lot of money, a bundle of hundred ruble notes and that his servant boy saw it too. That's true gentlemen, I remember it was so. Now there's one little point presents itself. Can you inform us, Nikolai Parfenovich began with extreme gentleness. Where did you get so much money all of a sudden when it appears from the facts, from the reckoning of time that you had not been home? The prosecutor's browse contracted at the question being asked so plainly but he did not interrupt Nikolai Parfenovich. No, I didn't go home, answered Mitya, apparently perfectly composed but looking at the floor. Allow me then to repeat my question, Nikolai Parfenovich went on as though creeping up to the subject. Where were you able to procure such a sum all at once when by your own confession at five o'clock the same day you, I was in one to 10 rubles and pledged my pistols with Perhotin and then went to Madame Hochlarkov to borrow 3,000 which she wouldn't give me and so on and all the rest of it. Mitya interrupted sharply. Yes, gentlemen, I was in one to this and suddenly thousands turned up there. Do you know gentlemen, you're both afraid now, what if he won't tell us where he got it? That's just how it is. I am not going to tell you gentlemen, you've guessed right, you'll never know. Mitya said, Mitya, chipping out each word with extraordinary determination. The lawyers were silent for a moment. You must understand, Mr. Karamazov, that it is of vital importance for us to know, said Nikolai Parfenovich, softly and suavely. I understand, but I still won't tell you. The prosecutor too intervened and again reminded the prisoner that he was at liberty to refuse to answer questions if he thought it to his interest and so on. But in view of the damage he might do himself by his silence, especially in a case of such importance and so on, gentlemen and so on. Enough, I've heard that rigmarole before. Mitya interrupted again. I can see for myself how important it is and that this is the vital point and still I won't say, what is it to us? It's not our business, but yours. You are doing yourself harm, observed Nikolai Parfenovich nervously. You see, gentlemen, joking apart. Mitya lifted his eyes and looked firmly at them both. I had an inkling from the first that we should come to loggerheads at this point. But at first, when I began to give my evidence, it was all still far away and misty. It was all floating and I was so simple that I began with the supposition of mutual confidence existing between us. Now I can see for myself that such confidence is out of the question. For in any case, we were bound to come to this cursed stumbling block and now we've come to it. It's impossible and there's an end of it. But I don't blame you. You can't believe it all simply on my word. I understand that, of course. He relapsed into gloomy silence. Couldn't you, without abandoning your resolution to be silent about the chief point, could you not at the same time give us some slight hint as to the nature of the motives which are strong enough to induce you to refuse to answer at a crisis so full of danger to you? Mitya smiled mournfully, almost dreamily. I'm much more good-natured than you think, gentlemen. I'll tell you the reason why and give you that hint though you don't deserve it. I won't speak of that, gentlemen, because it would be a stain on my honor. The answer to the question where I got the money would expose me to far greater disgrace than the murder and robbing of my father if I had murdered and robbed him. That's why I can't tell you. I can't for fear of disgrace. What, gentlemen, are you going to write that down? Yes, we'll write it down, lisped Nikolai Parfenovich. You ought not to write that down about disgrace. I only told you that in the goodness of my heart. I needn't have told you. I made you a present of it, so to speak, and you pounced upon it at once. Oh, well, write what you like, he concluded with scornful disgust. I'm not afraid of you and I can still hold up my head before you. And can't you tell us the nature of that disgrace? Nikolai Parfenovich has-ed it. The prosecutor frowned darkly. No, no, Sefini, don't trouble yourselves. It's not worth while soiling one's hands. I have sold enough, even through you, as it is. You're not worth it. No one is. Enough, gentlemen, I'm not going on. This was said too peremptorily. Nikolai Parfenovich did not insist further, but for me, Polit Kirilovich's eyes, he saw that he had not given up hope. Can you not at least tell us what some you had in your hands when you went into Mr Perchotin's? How many rubles, exactly? I can't tell you that. You spoke to Mr Perchotin, I believe, of having received 3,000 from Madame Hochlarkov. Perhaps I did. Enough, gentlemen, I won't say how much I had. Will you be so good then as to tell us how you came here and what you have done since you arrived? Oh, you might ask the people here about that, but I'll tell you if you like. He proceeded to do so, but we won't repeat his story. He told it dryly and curtly. Of the raptures of his love, he said nothing, but told them that he abandoned his determination to shoot himself owing to new factors in the case. He told the story without going into motives or details, and this time the lawyers did not worry him much. It was obvious that there was no essential point of interest to them here. We shall verify all that. We will come back to it during the examination of the witnesses, which will, of course, take place in your presence. said Nikolai Parfeniovic in conclusion. And now allow me to request you to lay on the table everything in your possession, especially all the money you still have about you. My money, gentlemen, certainly. I understand that that is necessary. I'm surprised, indeed, that you haven't inquired about it before. It's true. I couldn't get away anywhere. I'm sitting here where I can be seen, but here's my money. Take it. Take it. That's all I think. He turned it all out of his pockets, even the small change to pieces of 20 kopecks he pulled out of his waistcoat pocket. They counted the money which amounted to 836 rubles and 40 kopecks. And is that all? Asked the investigating lawyer. You stated just now in your evidence that you spent 300 rubles at Plutnikov's. You gave Karhotin 10, your driver 20. Here you lost 200. Then Nikolai Parfeniovic reckoned it all up. Mitya helped him readily. They recollected every farthing and included it in the reckoning. Nikolai Parfeniovic hurriedly added up the total. With this 800, you must have had about 1500 at first. I suppose so, snapped Mitya. How is it they all assert there was much more? Let them assert it. But you asserted it yourself. Yes, I did too. We will compare all this with the evidence of other persons not yet examined. Don't be anxious about your money. It will be properly taken care of and be at your disposal at the conclusion of what is beginning. It appears, or so to speak, it's proved that you have undisputed right to it. Well, and now Nikolai Parfeniovic suddenly got up and informed Mitya firmly that it was his duty and obligation to conduct a minute and thorough search of your clothes and everything else. By all means, gentlemen, I'll turn out all my pockets, if you like. And he did in fact begin turning out his pockets. It will be necessary to take off your clothes too. What, undress? Oh, damn it! Won't you search me as I am, can't you? It's utterly impossible, Dmitri Piodorovich, you must take off your clothes. As you like, Mitya submitted gloomily, only please not here but behind the curtains. Who will search them? Behind the curtains, of course. Nikolai Parfeniovic bent his head in ascent. His small face wore an expression of peculiar solemnity. End of Chapter 5 of Book 9. Recording by Martin Geeson in Hazelmere Surrey. Book 9, Chapter 6 of the Brothers Karamatsov. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Recording by Christopher Marciel. The Brothers Karamatsov by Fedor Dostoevsky. Translated by Konstantin Skarnet. Book 9, Chapter 6. The Prosecutor Catches Mitya. Something utterly unexpected and amazing to Mitya followed. He could never, even a minute before, have conceived that anyone could behave like that to him, Mitya Karamatsov. What was worst of all, there was something humiliating in it. And on their side, something supercilious and scornful. It was nothing to take off his coat. But he was asked to undress further. Or rather, not asked but commanded. He quite understood that. From pride and contempt he submitted without a word. Several peasants accompanied the lawyers and remained on the same side of the curtain. To be ready if force is required, thought Mitya. And perhaps, for some other reason too. Well, must I take off my shirt too? More sharply, but Nikolai Parfinovich did not answer. He was busily engaged with the prosecutor in examining the coat, the trousers, the waistcoat and the cap. And it was evident that they were both much interested in the scrutiny. They make no bones about it, thought Mitya. They don't keep up the most elementary politeness. I ask you for the second time, need I take off my shirt or not? He said, still more sharply and irritably. Don't trouble yourself. We will tell you what to do, Nikolai Parfinovich said. And his voice was positively peremptory. Or so it seemed to Mitya. Meantime, a consultation was going on in the undertones between the lawyers. There turned out to be on the coat, especially on the left side at the back, a huge patch of blood, dry and still stiff. There were blood stains on the trousers too. Nikolai Parfinovich, moreover, in the presence of the peasant witnesses, passed his fingers along the collar, and all the seams of the coat and trousers, obviously looking for something. Money, of course. He didn't even hide from Mitya his suspicion that he was capable of sewing money up in his clothes. He treats me not as an officer, but as a thief, Mitya muttered to himself. They communicated their ideas to one another with amazing frankness. The secretary, for instance, who was also behind the curtain fussing about and listening, called Nikolai Parfinovich's attention to the cap, which they were also fingering. You remember Gradyenko, the copying clerk, observed the secretary? Last summer, he received the wages of the whole office and pretended to have lost the money when he was drunk. Where was it found? Why, just such pipings in his cap, the hundred ruble notes were screwed up in little rolls and sewed in the piping. Both the lawyers remembered Gradyenko's case perfectly and so laid aside Mitya's cap and decided that all his clothes must be more thoroughly examined later. Excuse me, cried Nikolai Parfinovich, suddenly noticing that the right cuff of Mitya's shirt was turned in and covered with blood. Excuse me, what's that, blood? Yes, Mitya jerked out. That is, what blood? And why is the cuff turned in? Mitya told him how he had got the sleeve stained with blood looking after Gagori and had turned it inside when he was washing his hands at Perhotin's. You must take off your shirt, too. That's very important as material evidence. Mitya flushed red and flew into a rage. What? Am I to stay naked? he shouted. Don't disturb yourself. We will arrange something. And meanwhile, take off your socks. You're not joking. Is that really necessary? Mitya's eyes flashed. We are in no mood for joking, entered Nikolai Parfinovich sternly. Well, if I must, muttered Mitya, and sitting down on the bed, he took off his socks. He felt unbearably awkward. All were closed while he was naked and, strange to say, when he was undressed, he felt somehow guilty in their presence and was almost ready to believe himself that he was inferior to them and that now they had a perfect right to despise him. When all are undressed, one is somehow not ashamed. But when one's the only one undressed and everyone is looking, it's degrading. He kept repeating to himself again and again. It's like a dream. I've somehow dreamed of being in such degrading positions. It was a misery to him to take off his socks. They were very dirty, and so were his underclothes. And now everybody could see it. And what was worse, he disliked his feet. All his life, he had thought both his big toes hideous. He particularly loathed his coarse, flat, crooked nail on the right one. And now they would all see it. Feeling intolerably ashamed made him, at once and intentionally, rougher. He pulled off his shirt himself. Would you like to look anywhere else if you're not ashamed to? No, there's no need to at present. Well, am I to stay naked like this? He added savagely. Yes, that can't be helped for the time. Kindly sit down here for a while. You can wrap yourself in a quilt from the bed. And I, I'll see to all this. All the things were shown to the witnesses. The report of the search were drawn up, and at last Nikolai Parfenovich went out, and the clothes were carried out after him. Apolit Kirolovich went out too. Mitya was left alone with the peasants who stood in silence, never taking their eyes off him. Mitya wrapped himself up in the quilt. He felt cold, his bare feet stuck out, and he couldn't pull the quilt over so as to cover them. Nikolai Parfenovich seemed to be gone a long time, an insufferable time. He thinks of me as a puppy, thought Mitya, gnashing his teeth. That rotten prosecutor is gone too. Contemptuous, no doubt, it disgusts him to see me naked. Mitya imagined, however, that his clothes would be examined and returned to him. But what was his indignation when Nikolai Parfenovich came back with quite different clothes, brought in behind him by a peasant. Here are clothes for you, he observed erringly, seemingly well satisfied with the success of his mission. Mr. Kalganov has kindly provided these for this unusual emergency, as well as a clean shirt. Luckily he had them all in his trunk. You can keep your own socks and under clothes. Mitya flew into a passion. I won't have other people's clothes, he shouted menacingly. Give me my own. It's impossible. Give me my own, damn Kalganov, and his clothes too. It was a long time before they could persuade him, but they succeeded somehow in quieting him down. They impressed upon him that his clothes, being stained with blood, must be included with the other material evidence, and that they had not even the right to let him have them now, taking into consideration the possible outcome of the case. Mitya at last understood this. He subsided into gloomy silence and erringly dressed himself. He merely observed, as he put them on, that the clothes were much better than his old ones, and that he disliked gaining by the change. The coat was, besides, ridiculously narrow, and might be dressed up like a fool for your amusement. They urged upon him again that he was exaggerating, that Kalganov was only a little taller, so that only the trousers might be a little too long. But the coat turned out to be really tight in the shoulders. Damn it all, I can hardly button it, Mitya grumbled. Be so good as to tell Mr. Kalganov from me that I didn't ask for his clothes, and it's not my doing that they've dressed me up like a clown. He quite understands that, and is sorry. I mean, not sorry to lend you his clothes, but sorry about all this business, mumbled Nikolai Parvanovich. Confound his sorrow. Well, where now, or am I to go on sitting here? He was asked to go back to the other room. Mitya went in, scowling with anger, and trying to avoid looking at anyone. Dressed in another man's clothes, he felt himself disgraced, even in the eyes of the peasants and of Trifon Borosovich, whose face appeared for some reason in the doorway, and vanished immediately. He's come to look at me dressed up, thought Mitya. He sat down on the same chair as before. He had an absurd nightmare's feeling as though he were out of his mind. Well, what now? Are you going to flog me? That's all that's left for you, he said, clenching his teeth and addressing the prosecutor. He would not turn to Nikolai Parfenovich as though he'd disdained to speak to him. He looked too closely at my socks and turned them inside out on purpose to show everyone how dirty they were, the scoundrel. Well, now we must proceed to the examination of witnesses, observed Nikolai Parfenovich as though in reply to Mitya's question, Yes, said the prosecutor thoughtfully, as though reflecting on something. We've done what we could in your interest, Mitya Fyodorovich. Nikolai Parfenovich went on, Having received from you such an uncompromising refusal to explain to us the source from which you obtained the money found upon you, we are, at the present moment, What is the stone in your ring? Mitya interrupted, suddenly as though awakening from a reverie, pointed to one of the three rings adorning Nikolai Parfenovich's right hand. Ring? Repeated Nikolai Parfenovich with surprise? Yes, that one, on your middle finger, with the little veins in it. What stone is that? Mitya persisted like a peevish child. That's a smoky topaz, said Nikolai Parfenovich, smiling. Would you like to look at it? I'll take it off. No, don't take it off, cried Mitya fiercely, suddenly waking up and angry with himself. Don't take it off. There's no need. Damn it. Gentlemen, you've sullied my heart. Can you suppose that I would conceal it from you, if I really had killed my father, that I would shuffle, lie, and hide myself? No, that's not like Dmitry Karmotsov, that he couldn't do. And if I were guilty, I swear I shouldn't have waited for your coming. Or for the sunrise, as I meant it first. But should have killed myself before this, without waiting for the dawn. I know that about myself now. I couldn't have learned so much in 20 years, as I found out in the accursed night. I've been like this on this night, and at this moment sitting with you, could I have talked like this? Could I have moved like this? Could I have looked at you? And at the world like this? If I had really been the murderer of my father, when the very thought of having accidentally killed Grigori gave me no peace all night, not from fear, oh, not simply from fear of your punishment, the disgrace of it. And you expect me to be open with such scoffers as you, who see nothing and believe in nothing, blind moles and scoffers, and to tell you another nasty thing I've done, another disgrace, even that would save me from your accusation? No, better Siberia. The man who opened the door to my father, and went in at that door, he killed him, he robbed him. Who was he? I'm racking my brains and can't think who, but I can tell you it was not Dmitri Karmazov, and that's all I can tell you, and that's enough, enough, leave me alone, exile me, punish me, but don't bother me anymore, I'll say no more, call your witnesses. Mitya uttered his sudden monologue as though he were determined to be absolutely silent for the future. The prosecutor watched him the whole time, and only when he had ceased speaking, observed as though it were the most ordinary thing with the most frigid and composed air. Oh, about the door of which you spoke just now. We may as well inform you, by the way, now of a very interesting piece of evidence of the greatest importance, both to you and to us, has been given us by Grigori, the old man you wounded. On his recovery he clearly and emphatically stated in reply to our questions that when, on coming out to the steps and hearing a noise in the garden, he made up his mind to go into it through the little gate which stood open before he noticed you running, as you have told us already, in the dark from the open window where you saw your father. He, Grigori, glanced to the left, and while noticing the open window, observed at the same time, much nearer to him, the door standing wide open, that door which you have stated to have been shut the whole time you were in the garden. I will not conceal from you that Grigori himself confidently affirms and bears witness that you must have run from that door, though, of course, he did not see you do so with his own eyes, since he only noticed you first some distance away in the garden, running towards the fence. Mitya had leapt up from his chair halfway through his speech. Nonsense, he yelled in a sudden frenzy. It's a bare-faced lie. He couldn't have seen the door open because it was shut. He's lying. I consider it my duty to repeat that he is firm in his statement. He does not waver. He adheres to it. We've cross-examined him several times precisely. I've cross-examined him several times. Nikolai Parfenovich confirmed warmly. It's false, false. It's either an attempt to slander me or the hallucination of a madman. Mitnya still shouted. He's simply raving from loss of blood from the wound. He must have fancied it when he came to he's raving, yes, but he noticed the open door not when he came to after his injuries, but before that as soon as he went into the garden from the lodge but it's false. It's false. It can't be so. He's slandering me for spite. He couldn't have seen it. I didn't come from the door, gasped Mitnya. The prosecutor turned to Nikolai Parfenovich and said to him impressively confront him with it. Do you recognize this object? Nikolai Parfenovich laid upon the table a large and thick official envelope on which three seals still remained intact. The envelope was empty. And slit open at one end. Mitnya stared at it with open eyes. It must be that envelope of my father's, the envelope that contained the 3,000 rubles. And if there is inscribed on it allow me for my little chicken. Yes, 3,000 he shouted. Do you see? 3,000. Do you see? Of course we see. But we didn't find the money in it. It was empty and lying on the floor by the bed behind the screen for some seconds. Mitnya stood as though thunder struck. Gentlemen, it's Smerdiakov. He shouted suddenly at the top of his voice. It's he who's murdered him. He's robbed him. No one else knew where the old man hid the envelope. It's Smerdiakov. That's clear now. But you too knew of the envelope and that it was under the pillow. I never knew it. I've never seen it. This is the first time I've looked at it. I've only heard of it from Smerdiakov. He was the first who knew where the old man kept it hidden. I didn't know. Mitnya was completely breathless. But you told us yourself that the envelope was under your deceased father's pillow. You especially stated that it was under the pillow. So you must have known it. We've got it written down. Confirmed. Nikolai Parvanovich. Nonsense. It's absurd. I had no idea it was under the pillow. And perhaps it wasn't under the pillow at all. It was just a chance guess that it was under the pillow. It was just a chance guess that it was under the pillow. What does Smerdiakov say? Have you asked him where it was? What does Smerdiakov say? That's the chief point. And I went out of my way to tell lies against myself. I told you without thinking that it was under the pillow. And now you... Oh, you know how one says the wrong thing without meaning it. No one knew but Smerdiakov. Only Smerdiakov and no one else. He didn't even tell me where it was. But it's his doing. His doing. There's no doubt about it. He murdered him. That's as clear as daylight now. Mitya explained more and more frantically repeating himself incoherently and growing more and more exasperated and excited. You must understand that and arrest him at once. He must have killed him while I was running away and while Grigori was unconscious. That's clear now. He gave the signal and Father opened to him for no one but he knew the signal and without the signal Father would never have opened the door. But you're again forgetting the circumstances the prosecutor observed still speaking with the same restraint though with a note of triumph that there was no need to give the signal if the door already stood open when you were there while you were in the garden. The door the door muttered Mitya as he stared speechless at the prosecutor. He sank back helpless in his chair. All were silent. Yes the door it's a nightmare God is against me he exclaimed staring before him in complete stupefaction. Come you see the prosecutor went on with dignity and you can judge for yourself Dimitri Feodorovich. On the one hand we have the evidence of the open door from which you ran out a fact which overwhelms you and us. On the other side you're incomprehensible persistent and so to speak obdurate silence with regard to the source from which you obtained the money which was so suddenly seen in your hands when only three hours earlier on your own showing the pistols for the sake of ten rubles and view of these facts judge for yourself what are we to believe what can we depend on and don't accuse us of being frigid cynical scoffing people who are incapable of believing in the generous impulses of your heart try to enter into our position Mitya was indescribably agitated he turned pale very well he exclaimed suddenly I will tell you my secret I will tell you where I got the money I will reveal my shame that I may not have to blame myself or you hereafter and believe me Dmitri Fyodorovich put in Nikolai Parfenovich in a voice of almost pathetic delight that every sincere and complete confession on your part at this moment may later on have an immense influence in your favor and may indeed moreover but the prosecutor gave him a slight shove under the table and he checked himself in time Mitya it is true had not heard him End of Chapter 6 of Book 9 Recording by Christopher Marcio Book 9, Chapter 7 of The Brothers Karamazov This is a LibriVox recording All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain For more information or to volunteer please go to LibriVox.org Recording by Christopher Marcio The Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoyevsky Translated by Konstantz Garnet Book 9, Chapter 7 Mitya's great secret received with hisses Gentlemen, he began still in the same agitation I want to make a full confession that money was my own the lawyer's face is lengthened that was not at all what they expected How do you mean? faltered Nikolai Parvanovich when at five o'clock on the same day from your own confession damn five o'clock on the same day in my own confession that's nothing to do with it now that money was my own that is stolen by me not mine, I mean but stolen by me and it was fifteen hundred rubles and I had it on me all the time all the time but where did you get it? I took it off my neck gentlemen, off this very neck it was here round my neck sewn up in a rag and I had it round my neck a long time it's a month since I put it round my neck to my shame and disgrace and from whom did you appropriate it? you mean steal it? speak out plainly now yes, I consider that I practically stole it but if you prefer I appropriated it I consider I stole it and last night I stole it finally last night but you said that it's a month since you obtained it yes but not from my father not from my father don't be uneasy I didn't steal it from my father but from her let me tell you without interrupting it's hard to do, you know you see a month ago I was sent for by Katarina Ivanova formally my betrothed do you know her? yes, of course I know you know her she's a noble creature noblest of the noble she has hated me ever so long oh, ever so long and hated me with good reason good reason Katarina Ivanova Nikolai Parvanovich exclaimed with wonder the prosecutor too stared oh, don't take her name in vain I'm a scoundrel to bring her into it yes, I've seen that she hated me a long while from the very first even that evening at my lodging but enough, enough you're unworthy even to know of that no need of that all I need only tell you that she sent for me a month ago gave me 3,000 rubles to send to her sister and another relation in Moscow as though she couldn't have sent it off herself and I it was just at that fatal moment in my life when I well, in fact when I just come to love another her she's sitting down below now Grushenko I carried her off to Makro then and wasted here in two days half that damn 3,000 but the other half I kept on me well, I've kept that other half that 1,500 like a locket around my neck but yesterday I undid it and spent it what's left of it 800 rubles is in your hands now Nikolai Parvanovich that's the change out of the 1,500 I had yesterday excuse me how's that why when you were here a month ago you spent 3,000 not 1,500 everybody knows that who knows it who counted the money did I let anyone count it? why, you told everyone yourself that you'd spent exactly 3,000 it's true I did I told the whole town so and the whole town said so and here at Makro too everyone reckoned it was 3,000 yet I didn't spend 3,000 but 1,500 and the other 1,500 I sewed into a little bag that's how it was gentlemen that's where I got that money yesterday this is almost miraculous remember Nikolai Parvanovich I'll need to inquire observe the prosecutor last have you informed anyone whatever of this circumstance before I mean that you had 1,500 left about you a month ago I told no one that's strange do you mean absolutely no one? absolutely no one no one and nobody what was your reason for this reticence? what was your motive for making such a secret of it? to be more precise you have told us at last your secret in your words so disgraceful though in reality that is of course of course comparing speaking this action that is the appropriation of 3,000 rubles belonging to someone else and of course only for a time is in my view at least only an act of the greatest recklessness and not so disgraceful when one takes into consideration your character even admitting that it was an action in the highest degree discreditable still discreditable is not disgraceful many people have already guessed during this last month about the 3,000 of that you have spent and I have heard the legend myself apart from your confession Mikhail Makarovic for instance had heard it too so that indeed it was scarcely a legend but the gossip of the whole town there are indications too if I'm not mistaken that you confess this yourself to someone I mean that the money was Katerina Ivanovna's and so it's extremely surprising to me the hitherto that is up to the present moment you have made such an extraordinary secret of the 1,500 you say you put by apparently connecting a feeling of positive horror with that secret it's not easy to believe that it could cost you such distress to confess such a secret you cried out just now that Siberia would be better than confessing it the prosecutor ceased speaking he was provoked he did not conceal his vexation which was almost anger and gave vent to all his accumulated spleen without choosing words disconnectively and incoherently it's not the 1,500 that's the disgrace but that I put it apart from the rest of the 3,000 submit you affirmally why? smiled the prosecutor irritably what is there disgraceful to your thinking and you're having set aside half of the 3,000 you have discreditably if you prefer disgracefully appropriated you're taking the 3,000 is more important than what you did with it and by the way why did you do that? why did you set apart that half? for what purpose? for what object? did you do it? explain that to us? oh gentlemen the purpose is the whole point I admit you I put it aside because I was vile that is because I was calculating and to be calculating in such a case is vile and that vileness has been going on a whole month it's incomprehensible I wonder at you but I'll make it clearer perhaps it really is incomprehensible you see attend to what I said I appropriate 3,000 and trusted to my honor I spent it on a spree I spent it all and next morning I go to her and say Katya I've done wrong I've squandered your 3,000 well is that right? no it's not right it's dishonest and cowardly I'm a beast with no more self-control than a beast that's so isn't it? but still I'm not a thief not a downright thief you'll admit I squandered it but I didn't steal it now a second rather more favorable alternative follow me carefully or I may get confused again my head's going round and so for the second alternative I spent here only 1,500 out of the 3,000 that is only half next day I go and take that half to her Katya take this 1,500 from me I'm a low beast and an untrustworthy scoundrel for I've wasted half the money and I shall waste this too so keep me from temptation well what of that alternative I should be a beast and a scoundrel and whatever you like but not a thief not altogether a thief or I should not have brought back what was left but have kept that too she would see it once that since I brought back half I should pay back what I'd spent that I should never give up trying to that I should work to get it and pay it back so in that case I should be a scoundrel but not a thief you may say what you like not a thief I admit that there is certain distinction said the prosecutor with a cold smile but it's strange that you see such a vital difference yes I see a vital difference every man may be a scoundrel and perhaps every man is a scoundrel but not everyone can be a thief it takes an arch scoundrel to be that oh of course I don't know how to make these fine distinctions but a thief is lower than a scoundrel that's my conviction listen I carry the money about me a whole month I may make up my mind to give it back tomorrow and I'm a scoundrel no longer but I cannot make up my mind you see though I'm making up my mind every day and every day spurring myself on to do it and yet for a whole month I can't bring myself to it you see is that right to your thinking is that right certainly that's not right that I can quite understand and that I don't dispute answer the prosecutor with reserve and let us give up all discussions of these subtleties and distinctions and if you will be so kind get back to the point and the point is that you have still not told us although we've asked you why in the first place you have the money squandering one half and hiding the other for what purpose exactly did you hide it what did you mean to do with that 1500 I insist upon that question Dmitry Fyodorovich yes of course Kredmitia striking himself on the forehead forgive me I'm worrying you and I'm not explaining the chief point or you'd understand in a minute for it's just the motive of it that's the disgrace you see it was all to do with the old man my dear father he was always pestering Agrafina Alexandrovna and I was jealous I thought then she was hesitating between me and him so I kept thinking every day suppose she were to make up her mind all of a sudden suppose she were to leave off tormenting me and were suddenly to say to me I love you, not him take me to the other end of the world and I'd only 40 co-packs how could I take her away what could I do why I'd be lost you see I didn't know her then I didn't understand her I thought she wanted money and that she would forgive my poverty and so I fiendishly counted out the half of that 3000 sewed it up calculating on it sewed it up before I was drunk and after I'd sewn it up I went off to get drunk on the rest yes that was base do you understand now both the lawyers laughed out loud I should have called it sensible and moral in your part not to have squandered it all chuckled Nikolai Parvanovich for after all what does it amount to why that I stole it that's what it amounts to oh god you horrify me by not understanding every day that I had that 1500 sewn up around my neck every day and every hour I said to myself you're a thief you're a thief yes that's why I've been so savage all this month that's why I fought in the tavern that's why I attacked my father it was because I felt I was a thief I couldn't make up my mind I didn't dare even to tell Aoyosha my brother about that 1500 I felt I was such a scoundrel and such a pickpocket but do you know while I carried it inside to myself at that same time every hour no Dimitri Fionovich you may not yet be a thief why because I might go next day and pay back that 1500 to Katya and only yesterday I made up my mind to tear my amulet off my neck on my way from Fenyes to Perhotin I hadn't been able till that morning to bring myself to it and it was only when I tore it off that I became a downright thief a thief and a dishonest man for the rest of my life why because with that I destroyed too my dream of going to Katya and saying I'm a scoundrel but not a thief do you understand now do you understand what was it made you decide to do it yesterday and Nikolai Parfenovich interrupted why it's absurd to ask because I had condemned myself to die at five o'clock this morning here at dawn I thought it made no difference whether I died a thief or a man of honor but I see it's not so it turns out it does make a difference believe me gentlemen what has tortured me most during this night has not been the thought that I killed the old servant and that I was in danger of Siberia just when my love was being rewarded and heaven was open to me again oh that did torture me but not in the same way not so much as the damn consciousness that I had torn that damn money off my breast at last and spent it and had become a downright thief oh gentlemen I tell you again with a bleeding heart I have learned a great deal this night I have learned that it's not only impossible to live a scoundrel but impossible to die a scoundrel no gentlemen one must die honest Mitya was pale his face had a haggard and exhausted look in spite of his being intensely excited I'm beginning to understand you Dmitri Fyodorovich the prosecutor said slowly in a soft and almost compassionate tone but all this if you'll excuse my saying so is a matter of nerves in my opinion you're overwrought nerves that's what it is and why for instance should you not have saved yourself such misery for almost a month by going and returning that 1500 to the lady who had entrusted it to you why could you not have explained things to her and in view of your position what you describe as being so awful why could you not have had recourse to the plan which would so naturally have occurred to one's mind that is after honorably confessing your errors to her why could you not have asked her to lend you the sum needed for your expenses which with her generous heart she would certainly not have refused you in your distress especially if it had been with some guarantee or even on the security you offered to the merchant Sam Sanov and to Madame Holkoff I suppose you still regard that security as a value Midya suddenly crimsoned surely you don't think me such an out and out scoundrel as that you can't be speaking in earnest he said with indignation looking the prosecutor straight in the face and seeming unable to believe his ears I assure you I'm an earnest why do you imagine I'm not serious it was the prosecutor's turn to be surprised oh how base that would have been gentlemen do you know you are torturing me let me tell you everything so be it I'll confess all my infernal wickedness but to put you to shame and you'll be surprised yourself at the depth of ignominy to which a medway of human passions can sink you must know that I already had that plan myself that plan you spoke of just now prosecutor yes gentlemen I too have had that thought in my mind all this current month so that I was on the point of deciding to go to my Katya mean enough for that but to go to her to tell her of my treachery and for that very treachery to carry it out for the expenses of that treachery to beg for money from her Katya to beg do you hear to beg and to go straight from her to run away with the other the rival who hated and insulted her to think of it you must be mad prosecutor mad I am not but I did speak in haste without thinking of that feminine jealousy if there could be jealousy in this case as you assert yes perhaps there is something of the kind said the prosecutor smiling but that would have been so infamous Mitya brought his fist down on the table fiercely that would have been filthy beyond everything yes do you know that she might have given me that money yes and she would have given it to she'd have given it to satisfy her vengeance to show her contempt for me for hers as an infernal nature too and she's a woman of great wrath I'd have taken the money too oh I should have taken it I should have taken it and then for the rest of my life oh god forgive me gentlemen I'm making such an outcry because I've had that thought in my mind so lately only the day before yesterday that night when I was having all that bother with Laia Gavi and afterwards yesterday all day yesterday I remember till that happened till what happened putting Nikolai Parvanovich inquisitively but Mitya did not hear it I've made you an awful confession Mitya said gloomily in conclusion you must appreciate it and what's more you must respect it for if not that leaves your souls untouched then you simply no respect for me gentlemen oh I shall shoot myself yes I see I see already that you don't believe me what you want to write that down too he cried in dismay yes what you said just now said Nikolai Parvanovich looking at him surprised that is that up to that last hour you were still contemplating going to Katerina Ivanovna to beg that sum from her I assure you that's a very important piece of evidence for us to meet Mitya DeRovich I mean for the whole case and particularly for you particularly important for you have mercy gentlemen Mitya flung up his hands don't write that anyway have some shame here I've torn my heart asunder before you and you seize the opportunity and are fingering the wounds in both halves oh my god in despair he hit his face in his hands don't worry yourself so Dmitriy Fyodorovich observed the prosecutor everything that is written down will be read over to you afterwards and what you don't agree with too will alter as you like but now I'll ask you one little question for the second time has no one absolutely no one heard from you of that money you sewed up that I must tell you is almost impossible to believe no one no one I told you so before or you've not understood anything let me alone very well this matter is bound to be explained and there's plenty of time for it but meantime consider we have perhaps a dozen witnesses that you yourself spread it abroad and even shouted almost everywhere about the three thousand you'd spent here three thousand not fifteen hundred and now two when you've got a hold of the money you had yesterday you gave many people to understand that you had bought three thousand with you you've got not dozens but hundreds of witnesses two hundred witnesses two hundred have heard it thousands have heard it tried metia well you see all bear witness to it and the world all means something it means nothing I talked rot and everyone began repeating it but what need had you to talk rot as you called it the devil knows from bravado perhaps having wasted so much money to try and forget that money I had sewn up perhaps yes that was why damn it how often will you ask me that question well I told a fib and that was the end of it once I'd said it I didn't care to correct it what does a man tell lies for sometimes that's very difficult to decide to meet you theater of it what makes a man tell lies observe the prosecutor impressively tell me though was that amulet as you called it on your neck a big thing no not big how big for instance if you fold a hundred rubles note in half that would be the size you'd better show us the remains of it you must have them somewhere damnation what nonsense I don't know where they are but excuse me where and when did you take it off your neck according to your own evidence you didn't go home when I was going from fenya's to perhotin's on the way I tore it off my neck and took out the money in the dark what should I want to life for I did it with my fingers in one minute without scissors in the street in the marketplace I think it was why scissors it was an old rag it was torn in a minute where did you put it afterwards I dropped it there where was it exactly in the marketplace in the marketplace the devil knows whereabouts what do you want to know for that's extremely important it would be material evidence in your favor how is it you don't understand that who helped you to sew it up a month ago no one helped me I did it myself can you sew a soldier has to know to sew no knowledge was needed to do that where did you get the materials that is the rag in which you sewed the money are you laughing at me no not at all are we in no mood for laughing Dmitriy Fyodorovich I don't know where I got the rag from somewhere I suppose I should have thought you couldn't have forgotten it upon my word I don't remember I might have torn a bit off my linen that's very interesting we might find in your lodgings tomorrow the shirt or whatever it is from which you tore your rag what sort of rag was it cloth or linen goodness only knows what it was wait a bit I believe I didn't tear it off anything it was a bit of calico I believe I sewed it up in a cap of my landwadies in your landwadies cap yes I took it from her how did you get it you see I remember once taking a cap for a rag perhaps to wipe my pen on it I took it without asking because it was a worthless rag I tore it up and I took the notes and sewed them up in it I believe it was in that very rag I sewed it an old piece of calico washed a thousand times and you remember that for certain now I don't know whether for certain I think it was in the cap but hang it what does that matter in that case your landlady will remember that the thing was lost no she won't she didn't miss it it was an old rag I tell you an old rag not worth a farthing and where did you get the needle and thread I'll stop now I won't say anymore enough of it said Mitya losing his temporal last it's strange that you should have completely forgotten where you threw the pieces in the marketplace give orders for the marketplace to be swept tomorrow and perhaps you'll find it said Mitya nearing enough gentlemen enough he decided in an exhausted voice I see you don't believe me not for a moment it's my fault not yours I ought not to have been so ready why why did I degrade myself by confessing my secret to you it's a joke to you I see that from your eyes you led me on to a prosecutor sing a hymn of triumph and damn you you torturers he bent his head and hid his face in his hands the lawyers were silent a minute later he raised his head and looked at them almost vacantly his face expressed now complete hopeless despair and he sat mute passive as though hardly conscious of what was happening in the meantime they had to finish what they were about they had immediately to begin examining the witnesses it was by now 8 o'clock in the morning the lights had been out Mikhail Makarovic and Kalganov who had been continually in and out of the room all the while the interrogation had been going on had now both gone out again the lawyers too looked very tired it was a wretched morning the whole sky was overcast and the rain streamed down in bucketfuls Mitya gazed blankly out of the window may I look out of the window he asked Nikolai Parfenovich suddenly oh as much as the rain lashed against the little greenish panes of the window he could see the muddy road just below the window and further away in the rainy mist a row of poor black dismal huts looking even blacker and poorer in the rain Mitya thought of Phoebus the golden haired and how he had meant to shoot himself at his first ray perhaps it would be even better on a morning like this he thought with a smile and suddenly flinging his hands I see that I am lost but she tell me about her I beseech you surely she needs not be ruined with me she's innocent you know she was out of her mind when she cried last night it's all my fault she's done nothing nothing I've been grieving over her all night as I sat with you can't you won't you tell me what you're going to do with her you can set your mind quiet at rest on that score Dmitry Fyodorovich the prosecutor answered at once with evident alacrity we have so far no grounds for interfering with the lady in whom you are so interested I trust that it may be the same in the latter development of the case on the contrary we'll do everything that lies in our power in that matter set your mind completely at rest gentlemen I thank you I knew that you were honest straightforward people in spite of everything you've taken a load off my heart well what are we to do now I'm ready well we ought to make haste we must pass to examining the witnesses without delay that must be done in your presence and therefore shouldn't we have some tea first to propose Nikolai Parfenovich I think we've deserved it they decided that if tea were ready downstairs Mikhail Makarovich had no doubt gone down to get some they would have a glass and then go on and on putting off their proper breakfast until a more favorable opportunity tea really was ready now and was soon brought up Mityat first refused the glass that Nikolai Parfenovich politely offered him but afterwards he asked for himself and drank it greedily he looked surprisingly exhausted it might have been supposed from his herculean strength that one night of carousing even accompanied by the most violent emotions could have had little effect on him but he felt that he could hardly hold his head up and from time to time all the objects about him seemed heaving and dancing before his eyes a little more and I shall begin raving he said to himself end of chapter 7 of book 9 recording by Christopher Marcio book 9, chapter 8 of The Brothers Karamazov this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org recording by Ashley Candland The Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoevsky translated by Konstantz Garnet book 9, chapter 8 the evidences of the witnesses the babe the examination of the witnesses began but we will not continue our story in such detail as before and so we will not dwell on how Nikolai Parfenovich impressed on every witness called that he must give his evidence in accordance with truth and conscience and that he would afterwards have to repeat his evidence on oath how every witness was called upon the call of his evidence and so on we will only note that the point principally insisted upon in the examination was the question of the 3000 rubles that is, was the sum spent here at Mokrai by Mitya on the first occasion a month before 3000 or 1500 and again had he spent 3000 or 1500 yesterday alas all the evidence given by everyone turned out to be against Mitya there was not one in his favour and some witnesses introduced new almost crushing facts in contradiction of his Mitya's story the first witness examined was Trifon Borisovich he was not in the least abashed as he stood before the lawyers he had on the contrary an air of stern and severe indignation with the accused which gave him an appearance of truthfulness and personal dignity he spoke little and with reserve waited to be questioned answered precisely and deliberately firmly and unhesitatingly he bore witness that the sum spent a month before could not have been less than 3000 that all the peasants about here would testify that they had heard the sum of 3000 mentioned by Dmitri Fyodorovich himself when a lot of money he flung away on the gypsy girls alone he wasted a thousand I daresay on them alone I don't believe I gave them 500 was Mitya's gloomy comment on this it's a pity I didn't count the money at the time but I was drunk Mitya was sitting sideways with his back to the curtains he listened gloomily with a melancholy and exhausted air as though he would say oh say what you like it makes no difference now more than a thousand went on them Dmitri Fyodorovich retorted Trifon Borisovich firmly you flung it about at random and they picked it up they were a rascally a lot horse stealers they've been driven away from here or maybe they'd bear witness themselves how much they got from you I saw the sum in your hands myself count it I didn't you didn't let me that's true enough but by the look of it I should say it was far more than 1500 1500 indeed we've seen money too we can judge of amounts as for the sum spent yesterday he asserted that Dmitri Fyodorovich had told him as soon as he arrived come now is that so Trifon Borisovich reply Mitya surely I didn't declare so positively that I'd brought 3000 you did say so Dmitri Fyodorovich you said it before Andrei Andrei himself is still here send for him and in the hall when you were treating the chorus you shouted straight out that you would leave your 6000 here that is with what you spent before we must understand Peter Formuch Kalganov too was standing beside you at the time maybe he'd remember it the evidence as the 6000 made an extraordinary impression on the two lawyers they were delighted with this new mode of reckoning three and three made six 3000 then and three now made six that was clear they questioned all the peasants suggested by Trifon Borisovich step on on Samion the driver Andrei and Kalganov the peasants and the driver unhesitatingly confirmed Trifon Borisovich's evidence they noted down with particular care Andrei's account of the conversation he had had with Mitya on the road where says he am I Dmitri Fyodorovich going to heaven or to hell and shall I be forgiven in the next world or not the psychological Ipolit Karylovich heard this with a subtle smile and ended by recommending that these where Dmitri Fyodorovich would go should be included in the case Kalganov when called came in reluctantly frowning and ill-humored and he spoke to the lawyers as though he had never met them before in his life though they were acquaintances whom he had been meeting every day for a long time past he began by saying that he knew nothing about it and didn't want to but it appeared that he had heard of the 6000 and he admitted that he had been close by at the moment as far as he could see he didn't know how much money Mitya had in his hands he affirmed that the polls had cheated at cards in reply to reiterated questions he stated that after the polls had been turned out Mitya's position with Agrafeina Alexandrovna had certainly improved and that she had said that she loved him he spoke of Agrafeina Alexandrovna with reserve and respect as though she had been a lady of the best society Mitya did not once allow himself to call her Grushenka in spite of the young man's obvious repugnance at giving evidence Iplik Krilovich examined him at great length and only from him learnt all the details of what made up Mitya's romance so to say on that night Mitya did not once pull Kalganov up at last they let the young man go and he left the room with unconcealed indignation the polls too were examined though they had gone to bed in their room they had not slept all night and on the arrival of the police officers they hastily dressed and got ready realising that they would certainly be sent for they gave their evidence with dignity though not without some uneasiness the little poll turned out to be a retired official of the twelfth class who had served in Siberia as a veterinary surgeon his name was Mitya Pan Vruvelski turned out to be an uncertified dentist although Nikolai Parfenovich asked them questions on entering the room they both addressed their answers to Mihail Makarovich who was standing on one side taking him in their ignorance for the most important person and in command and addressed him at every word as Pan Colonel only after several reproofs from Mihail Makarovich himself they grasped that they had to address their answers to Nikolai Parfenovich only it turned out that they could speak Russian quite correctly except for their accent in some words of his relations with Grushenko past and present Pan Mosyalevich spoke proudly and warmly so that Mitya was roused at once and declared that he would not allow the scoundrel to speak like that in his presence Pan Mosyalevich at once called attention to the word scoundrel and begged that it should be put down in the protocol Mitya fumed with rage he's a scoundrel a scoundrel you can put that down and put down to that in spite of the protocol I still declare that he's a scoundrel he cried though Nikolai Parfenovich did insert this in the protocol he showed the most praiseworthy tact and management after sternly reprimanding Mitya he cut short all further inquiry into the romantic aspect of the case and hastened to pass to what was essential one piece of evidence given by the polls roused special interest in the lawyers that was how in that very room Mitya had tried to buy off Pan Mosyalevich and had offered him three thousand rubles to resign his claims seven hundred rubles down and the remaining two thousand three hundred to be paid next day in the town he had sworn at the time that he had not the wholesome with him at McCroy but that his money was in the town Mitya observed hotly that he had not said that he would be sure to pay him the remainder next day in the town but Pan Vrublevsky confirmed the statement and Mitya after thinking for a moment admitted frowning that it must have been as the polls stated that he had been excited at the time and might indeed have said so the prosecutor positively pounced on this piece of evidence it seemed to establish for the prosecution and they did in fact base this deduction on it that half or a part of the three thousand that had come into Mitya's hands might really have been left somewhere hidden in the town or even perhaps somewhere here in McCroy to explain the circumstance so baffling for the prosecution that only eight hundred rubles were to be found in Mitya's hands the circumstance had been the one piece of evidence which insignificant as it was had hitherto told to some extent in Mitya's favor now this one piece of evidence in his favor had broken down in answer to the prosecutor's inquiry where he would have got the remaining two thousand three hundred rubles since he himself had denied having more than fifteen hundred Mitya confidently replied that he had meant to offer the little chap not money but a formal deed of conveyance of his rights to the village of Chermashnya those rights which he had already offered to Samsonov and Madame Holikov the prosecutor positively smiled at the innocence of this subterfuge and do you imagine he would have accepted such a deed as a substitute for two thousand three hundred rubles in cash he certainly would have accepted it Mitya declared warmly why look here he might have grabbed not two thousand but four or six for it he would have put his lawyers Poles and Jews on to the job and might have got not three thousand but the whole property out of the old man the evidence of Panmusyalovich was of course entered into the protocol in the fullest detail then they let the Poles go the incident of the cheating at cards was hardly touched upon Nikolai Parfenovich was too well pleased with them as it was and did not want to worry them with trifles moreover it was nothing but a foolish drunk and quarrel over cards there had been drinking and disorder enough that night so the two hundred rubles remained in the pockets of the Poles then old Maximov was summoned he came intimately approached with little steps looking very disheveled and depressed he had all this time taken refuge below with Grushenko sitting dumbly beside her and now and then he'd begin blubbering over her and wiping his eyes with blue check handkerchief as Mihail Makarevich described afterwards so that she herself began trying to pacify and comfort him the old man at once confessed that he had done wrong that he had borrowed ten rubles in my poverty from Dmitry Fyodorovich and that he was ready to pay it back to Nikolai Parfenovich's direct question had he noticed how much money Dmitry Fyodorovich held in his hand as he must have been able to see the sum better than anyone when he took the note from him Maximov in the most positive manner declared that there was twenty thousand have you ever seen so much as twenty thousand before then? inquired Nikolai Parfenovich with a smile to be sure I have not twenty but seven when my wife mortgaged my little property she'd only let me look at it from a distance boasting of it to me it was a very thick bundle all rainbow-colored notes Dmitry Fyodorovich's were all rainbow-colored he was not kept long at last it was Grushenko's turn Nikolai Parfenovich was obviously apprehensive of the effect her appearance might have on Mitya and he uttered a few words of admonition to him but Mitya bowed his head in silence giving him to understand that he would not make a scene Mahal Makarevich himself led Grushenko in she entered with a stern and gloomy face that looked almost composed and sat down quietly on the chair offered her by Nikolai Parfenovich she was very pale she seemed to be cold and wrapped herself closely in her magnificent black shawl she was suffering from a slight feverish chill the first symptom of the long illness which followed that night her grave air her direct earnest look and quiet manner made a very favorable impression on everyone Nikolai Parfenovich was even a little bit fascinated he admitted himself when talking about it afterwards that only then had he seen how handsome the woman was for though he had seen her several times he had always looked upon her as something of a provincial hitira she has them managed the best society he said enthusiastically gossipping about her in a circle of ladies but this was received with positive indignation by the ladies who immediately called him a naughty man to his great satisfaction as she entered the room she glanced for an instant at Mitya who looked at her uneasily but her face reassured him at once after the first inevitable inquiries and warnings Nikolai Parfenovich asked her hesitating a little but preserving the most courteous manner on what term she was with the retired lieutenant Dmitry Friodorovich Karamazov to this Grushenko firmly and quietly replied he was an acquaintance he came to see me as an acquaintance during the last month to further inquisitive questions she answered plainly and with complete frankness that though at times she had thought him attractive she had not loved him but had won his heart as well as had old fathers in my nasty spite that she had seen that Mitya was very jealous of Fyodor Pavlovich and everyone else but that had only amused her she had never meant to go to Fyodor Pavlovich she had simply been laughing at him I had no thoughts for either of them all this last month I was expecting another man who had wronged me but I think she said in conclusion that there's no need for you to inquire about that nor for me to answer you for that's my own affair Nikolai Parfenovich immediately acted upon this hint he again dismissed the romantic aspect of the case and passed the serious one that is to the question of most importance concerning the three thousand rubles Grushenko confirmed the statement that three thousand rubles had certainly been spent on the first carousel at McCroy and though she had not counted the money herself she had heard that it was three thousand from Dmitry Fyodorovich's own lips did he tell you that alone or before someone else or did you only hear him speak of it to others in your presence the prosecutor inquired immediately to which Grushenko replied that she had heard him say so before other people and had heard him say so when they were alone did he say it to you alone once or several times inquired the prosecutor and learned that he had told Grushenko so several times Ipolit Korilevich was very well satisfied with this piece of evidence further examination elicited that Grushenko knew too where that money had come from and that Dmitry Fyodorovich had got it from Katerina even Ivna and did you never once hear that the money spent a month ago was not three thousand but less and that Dmitry Fyodorovich has saved half that sum in his own use no, I never heard that answered Grushenko it was explained further that Mitya had on the contrary often told her that he hadn't a farthing he was always expecting to get some from his father said Grushenko in conclusion did he never say before you casually or in a moment of irritation Nikolai Parfenovich put in suddenly that he intended to make an attempt on his father's life Ak he did say so once or several times he mentioned it several times always in anger and did you believe he would do it no, I never believed it she answered firmly I had faith in his noble heart gentlemen allow me cried Mitya suddenly, allow me to say one word to Agrafeina Aleksandrovna in your presence you can speak Nikolai Parfenovich assented Agrafeina Aleksandrovna Mitya got up from his chair have faith in God and in me I am not guilty of my father's murder having uttered these words Mitya sat down again on his chair Grushenko stood up and crossed herself devoutly before the icon thanks be to the oh Lord she said in a voice thrilled with emotion and still standing she turned to Nikolai Parfenovich and added as he has spoken now believe it I know him he'll say anything as a joke but he'll never deceive you against his conscience he's telling the whole truth you may believe it thanks Agrafeina Aleksandrovna you've given me fresh courage Mitya responded in a quivering voice as to the money spent the previous day she declared that she did not know what summit was but it had heard him tell several people that he had three thousand with him and to the question where he got the money she said that he had told her that he had stolen it from Katarina Ivanovna and that she had replied to that that he hadn't stolen it and that he must pay the money back next day on the prosecutors asking her emphatically whether the money he said he had stolen from Katarina Ivanovna was what he had spent yesterday or what he had squandered here a month ago she declared that he meant the money spent a month ago and that that was how she understood him Grushenko was at last released and Nikolai Parfenovich informed her that she might at once return to the town and that if he could be of any assistance to her with horses for example or if she would care for an escort he would be I thank you sincerely said Grushenko bowing to him I'm going with this old gentleman I am driving him back to town with me and meanwhile if you'll allow me I'll wait below to hear what you decide about Dmitry Fyodorovich she went out Mitya was calm and even looked more cheerful but only for a moment he felt more and more oppressed by a strange physical weakness his eyes were closing with fatigue the examination of the witnesses was at last over they proceeded to a revision of the protocol Mitya got up moved from his chair to the corner by the curtain lay down on a large chest covered with a rug and instantly fell asleep he had a strange dream of keeping with the place and the time he was driving somewhere in the steps where he had been stationed long ago and a peasant was driving him in a cart with a pair of horses through snow and sleet he was cold it was early in November and the snow was falling in big wet flakes melting as soon as it touched the earth and the peasant drove him smartly he had a fair long beard he was not an old man he was 50 and he had on a grey peasant smock not far off was a village he could see the black huts and half the huts were burnt down there were only the charred beams sticking up and as they drove in there were peasant women drawn up along the road a lot of women a whole row all thin and wan with their faces a sort of brownish colour especially one at the edge a tall bony woman only 20 with a long thin face and in her arms was a little baby crying and her breasts seemed so dried up that there was not a drop of milk in them and the child cried and cried and held out its little bare arms with its little fists blue from cold why are they crying why are they crying Mitya asked as they dashed galey by it's the babe answered the driver and Mitya was struck by his saying in his at peasant way the babe and he liked the peasants calling it a babe there seemed more pity in it but why is it weeping Mitya persisted stupidly why are its little arms bare why don't they wrap it up the babe's cold its little clothes are frozen and don't warm it but why is it why foolish Mitya still persisted why their poor people burnt out they've no bread they're begging because they've been burnt out no no Mitya as it were still did not understand tell me why it is those poor mothers stand there why are people poor why is the babe poor why is the step baron why don't they hug each other and kiss why don't they sing songs of joy why are they so dark from black misery why don't they feed the babe and he felt that though his questions were unreasonable and senseless yet he wanted to ask just that and he had to ask it just in that way and he felt that a passion of pity such as he had never known before was rising in his heart that he wanted to cry that he wanted to do something for them all so that the babe should weep no more so that the dark faced dried up mother should not weep that no one should shed tears again from that moment and he wanted to do it at once at once regardless of all obstacles with all the recklessness of the caramot sauce and I'm coming with you I won't leave you now for the rest of my life I'm coming with you he heard close beside him grushing his tender voice thrilling with emotion and his heart glowed and he struggled forward towards the light and he longed to live to go on and on towards the new beckoning light and to hasten, hasten now at once what where? he exclaimed opening his eyes and sitting up on the chest as though he had revived from a swoon smiling brightly Nikolai Parfenovich was standing over him suggesting that he should hear the protocol read aloud and sign it Mitya guessed that he had been asleep for an hour or more but he did not hear Nikolai Parfenovich he was suddenly struck by the fact that there was a pillow under his head which hadn't been there when he had linked back exhausted on the chest who put that pillow under my head? who was so kind? he cried with a sort of ecstatic gratitude and tears in his voice as though some great kindness had been shown him he never found out who this kind man was perhaps one of the peasant witnesses or Nikolai Parfenovich's little secretary compassionately thought to put a pillow under his head but his whole soul was quivering with tears he went to the table and said that he would sign whatever they liked I've had a good dream gentlemen he said in a strange voice with a new light as of joy in his face End of Chapter 8 of Book 9 Recording by Ashley Campbell Book 9, Chapter 9 of the Brothers Karamazov This is a LibriVox recording All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain For more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Recording by Glenn Simonson When the protocol had been signed Nikolai Parfenovich turned solemnly to the prisoner and read him the committal setting forth that in such a year on such a day in such a place in such a year of such and such a district court having examined so and so to it, Mitya accused of this and of that all the charges were carefully written out and having considered that the accused not pleading guilty to the charges made against him had brought forward nothing in his defense while the witnesses so and so and so and so and the circumstances such and such testify against him acting in accordance with such and such articles of the statute book and so on has ruled that in order to preclude so and so Mitya from all means of evading pursuit and judgment he be detained in such and such a prison which he hereby notifies to the accused and communicates a copy of this same committal to the deputy prosecutor and so on and so on in brief Mitya was informed that he was from that moment a prisoner and that he would be driven at once to the town and there shut up in a very unpleasant place Mitya listened attentively and only shrugged his shoulders well gentlemen I don't blame you, I'm ready I understand that there's nothing else for you to do Nikolai Parfenovich informed him gently that he would be escorted at once by the rural police officer Mavriky Mavrikayevich who happened to be on the spot stay Mitya interrupted suddenly and impaled by an uncontrollable feeling he pronounced addressing all in the room gentlemen we're all cruel we're all monsters we all make men weep and mothers and babes at the breast but of all let it be settled here now of all I am the lowest reptile I've sworn to amend and every day I've done the same filthy things I understand now that such men as I need a blow a blow of destiny to catch them as with a noose and bind them by force from without never never should I have risen of myself but the thunderbolt has fallen I accept the torture of accusation and my public shame I want to suffer and by suffering I shall be purified perhaps I shall be purified gentlemen but listen for the last time I am not guilty of my father's blood I accept my punishment not because I killed him but because I meant to kill him and perhaps I really might have killed him still I mean to fight it out with you I warn you of that I'll fight it out with you to the end and then God will decide goodbye gentlemen don't be vexed with me for having shouted at you during the examination oh I was still such a fool then in another minute I shall be a prisoner but for now for the last time a free man Dimitri Karamazov offers you his hand saying goodbye to you I say it to all men his voice quivered and he stretched out his hand but Nikolai Parfenovich who happened to stand nearest to him with a sudden almost nervous movement hid his hands behind his back Mitya instantly noticed this and started he let his outstretched hand fall at once the preliminary inquiry is not yet over Nikolai Parfenovich faltered somewhat embarrassed we will continue it in the town and I for my part of course am ready to wish you all success in your defense as a matter of fact Dimitri Fyodorovich I have always been disposed to regard you as so to speak more unfortunate than guilty all of us here if I may make bold to speak for all we are all ready to recognize that you are at bottom a young man of honor but alas one who has been carried away by certain passions to a somewhat excessive degree Nikolai Parfenovich's little figure was positively majestic by the time he had finished speaking it struck Mitya that in another minute this boy would take his arm lead him to another corner and renew their conversation about girls but many quite irrelevant and inappropriate thoughts sometimes occur even to a prisoner when he is being led out to execution gentlemen you are good, you are humane may I see her to say goodbye for the last time? asked Mitya certainly but considering in fact now it's impossible except in the presence of oh well if it must be so it must Grushenko was brought in but the farewell was brief in a few words and did not at all Parfenovich Grushenko made a deep bow to Mitya I have told you I am yours and I will be yours I will follow you forever wherever they may send you farewell you are guiltless though you've been your own undoing her lips quivered tears flowed from her eyes forgive me Grusha for my love for ruining you too with my love Mitya would have said something more he was at once surrounded by men who kept a constant watch on him at the bottom of the steps to which he had been driven up with such a dash the day before with Andrew's three horses two carts stood in readiness Mavriky Mavrikayevich a sturdy, thick-set man with a wrinkled face was annoyed about something some sudden irregularity he was shouting angrily he asked Mitya to get into the cart with somewhat excessive surliness when I stood him drinks in the tavern the man had quite a different face thought Mitya as he got in at the gates there was a crowd of people peasants, women, and drivers Trifon Borisovich came down from the steps too all stared at Mitya forgive me at parting, good people Mitya shouted suddenly from the cart forgive us too he heard two or three voices goodbye to you too, Trifon Borisovich but Trifon Borisovich but Trifon Borisovich did not even turn round he was, perhaps, too busy he too was shouting and fussing about something it appeared that everything was not yet ready in the second cart in which two constables were to accompany Mavriky Mavrikayevich the peasant who had been ordered to drive the second cart was pulling on his smock stoutly maintaining that it was not his turn to go but Akim's but Akim was not to be seen they ran to look for him the peasant persisted and besought them to wait you see what our peasants are Mavriky Mavrikayevich they've no shame exclaimed Trifon Borisovich Akim gave you 25 Kopecks the day before yesterday you've drunk it all and now you cry out I'm simply surprised at your good nature with our low peasants Mavriky Mavrikayevich that's all I can say but what do we want a second cart for Mitya put in let's start with the one Mavriky Mavrikayevich I won't be unruly I won't run away from you old fellow what do we want an escort for I'll trouble you sir to learn how to speak to me if you've never been taught I'm not old fellow to you and you can keep your advice for another time Mavriky Mavrikayevich snapped out savagely as though glad to vent his wrath Mitya was reduced to silence he flushed all over a moment later he felt suddenly very cold the rain had ceased but the dull sky was still overcast with clouds and a keen wind was blowing straight in his face I've taken a chill thought Mitya twitching his shoulders at last Mavriky Mavrikayevich too got into the cart sat down heavily and as though without noticing it squeezed Mitya into the corner it is true that he was out of humor and greatly disliked the task that had been laid upon him goodbye Trifon Borisovich Mitya shouted again and felt himself that he had not called out this time from good nature but involuntarily from resentment but Trifon Borisovich stood proudly with both hands behind his back and staring straight at Mitya with a stern and angry face he made no reply Dimitri Fyodorovich goodbye he heard all at once the voice of Kalganov who had suddenly darted out running up to the cart he held out his hand to Mitya he had no cap on Mitya had time to seize and press his hand goodbye dear fellow I shan't forget your generosity he cried warmly but the cart moved and their hands parted the bell began ringing and Mitya was driven off his hand back sat down in a corner bent his head hit his face in his hands and burst out crying for a long while he sat like that crying as though he were a little boy instead of a young man of twenty oh he believed almost without doubt in Mitya's guilt what are these people what can men be after this he exclaimed incoherently in bitter despondency is it worth it exclaimed the boy in his grief end of book nine end of part three of the brothers Karamazov recording by Glenn Simonson