100 Seinfeld quotes





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Published on Feb 21, 2008

A frenetic mashup of many, many random clips from the legendary show about 'nothing'.

UPDATE 29-Dec-2015: Remastered version available! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iZmq6...

UPDATE 24-Feb-2011: Wayne Snell (Weezle56) has come forward as the author of the audio portion of this video! I've always wondered who did the wonderful job of putting all the quotes together (found in an MP3 on Napster) so many years ago, and now the mystery is solved.


Audio compiled by http://youtube.com/Weezle56
Video compiled by http://youtube.com/danere1
Music: "Time is Tight" by Booker T & The MG's

Jerry: Hello!

Jerry: So we go into NBC, we tell them we've got an idea for a show about nothing.
George: Exactly.
Jerry: They say "What's your show about?" I say "Nothing".
George: There you go.
Jerry: I think you may have something here.

Kramer: Who wants to have some fun?
Jerry: Well let's start the insanity.
Kramer: Giddy-up.

George: Vandelay! Vandelay! Vandelay!
Elaine: Shut up.
George: Vandelay! Vandelay! Vandelay!
Kramer: Wet and wild.
George: Vandelay! Vandelay! Vandelay!
Jerry: Delores!

George: The sea was angry that day my friends...
Jerry: ...super-terrific carpal-tunnel syndrome.
Elaine: Stella!
George: I'm sorry, the card says "Moops".
Elaine: A bird ran into my giant freak-head.
Jerry: I got jiggy with it!
Kramer: I broke the covenant of the keys.
Elaine: I'm speechless! I am without speech.
Kramer: Oh, I got the ball.
Jerry: THAT is one magic loogey.

George: The surprise blindfold greeting. That wasn't in the manual.
Kramer: A coffee-table book on coffee tables.
Jerry: Hello, Newman.
Elaine: Is it possible that I'm not as attractive as I think I am?
Kramer: Boy, these pretzels are making me thirsty.
George: I'm gonna need some water here!
Elaine: Maybe the dingo ate your baby.
Kramer: Yo Yo Ma!
Jerry: Little Jerry's a lean mean pecking machine.
George: I'm speechless. I have no speech.
Kramer: Yo Yo Ma!
Jerry: Not that there's anything with it!

Kramer: (to Newman) Oh, I'm looking right at you big daddy.
Jerry: She had man hands.
Kramer: You're an anti-dentite.
Jerry: You're a massage teaser.
Jerry: So he's bizarro Jerry.
Jerry: That is one tough monkey.

Elaine: He's a re-gifter!
Jerry: He's a real bounder...
Elaine: He's a real... sidler!
Jerry: He's a mimbo.
Jerry: She's one of these low talkers...
Jerry: A long talker.
Elaine: A high talker.
Jerry: A close talker.
Kramer: Yeah, yeah I am batman.
Jerry: Well, now we're getting somewhere!

Elaine: He's short, he's stocky...
George: ...I am Costanza, Lord of the Idiots.

Jerry: She enjoys teasing animals, banlon, and seeing people running for their lives.
Elaine: (to Crazy Joe DaVola) I'm a *day* person.

George: ...a horse face, big teeth and a pointy nose.
Jerry: ...a man who respects a good coma.

Elaine: ...a tall lanky doofus...with hair like the bride of Frankenstein.
Kramer: I'm Cosmo Kramer!

Jerry: But are you still 'Master of your domain'?
Kramer: Yo Yo Ma!
George: I am 'King of the county'.
Elaine: I'm 'Queen of the castle'.
Jerry: 'Lord of the manor'.
Kramer: Yo Yo Ma!
George: I hate The Drake.
Elaine: I love The Drake!
Kramer: I'm out!

Elaine: The big salad
Kramer: The Bro
Jerry: Junior Mint
Elaine: Urban sombrero
Kramer: Fusilli Jerry!
Jerry: Rochelle Rochelle
George: Significant shrinkage!
Elaine: Fake, fake, fake, fake.
Jerry: Golden boy
Elaine: Chocolate babka
George: Bosco
Elaine: Sponge-worthy
George: Buffer-zone
Elaine: This, that and the other.
Kramer: Happy Festivus!
Elaine: Maestro
George: Tippy-toe! Tippy-toe!
Elaine: Yada yada yada...
Jerry: I think I may have made a big mistake.
George: Comfort-shmomfort
Jerry: Friendship-smienship
Timmy: You double dipped the chip!
Elaine: I keep thinking that goiter is gonna start talking to me.
Kramer: I'm dangerous, Jerry... I'm very, very dangerous!
Jerry: That guy's gonna put the kibosh on me!
Elaine: Jerry, how can I go on!?
Soup Nazi: No soup for you!

George: But I'm disturbed, I'm depressed, I'm inadequate... I got it all!
Jerry: But I don't want to be a pirate!
Babu: You bad man, you very bad man!
Jerry: I've swept myself off my feet!
George: I have no hand!
Jerry: Sweet fancy Moses.
Kramer: Well, people kept ringing the bell!
Jerry: Well, let's cut the bull, sister.
Jerry: The wheels are in motion.
George: Everytime I think I'm out, they pull me back in.
Elaine: It's "Suzie", it's not "Suze".
Kramer: You stubborn, stupid, silly man.
Jerry: Who leaves a country packed with ponies to come to a non-pony country?
Kramer: I'm not a pimp!
Jerry: I don't wanna be Switzerland.
Elaine: Go work on your pecs and your lats... we're all really impressed.
George: It's Thunderdome!
Kramer: You're freaking me out!
Jerry: I'm freaking out. I am freaking out!
George: Serenity now!

Helen: Oh you have to go, you have to.
Jerry: I'm going.
Hellen You have to!
Jerry: O-kay.

Jerry: Buh-bye.



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