 This case looked refreshing at first. It took me to Milwaukee, the brewing capital of the USA. But it occurred to me later for a guy who appreciates a good head on a glass of beer. I take lousy care of my own. This is another in the Adventures of America's fabulous freelance insurance investigator, Johnny Dollar, starring Charles Russell. At insurance investigation, Johnny Dollar is only an expert. At making out his expense account, he's an absolute genius. Expense account submitted by Special Investigator Johnny Dollar, to Home Office, Ambassador Life and Casually Insurance Company, Hartford, Connecticut. Attention, Franklin Haley, General Manager. The following is an accounting of my expenditures during my assignment as bodyguard to your policyholder and Connolly. Or it may have been love at first sight, but the last sight was down the barrel of a 45 automatic. Expense account, item one, 295, one copy of the case of the playful Siamese, a novel of detection and suspense. It was a story about a private eye named Dexter Payne. But before I could learn whether poor Dexter was dead or alive at the end of chapter one, the phone rang and there you were, Mr. Haley, telling me I had to leave for Milwaukee on the next plane. So I returned the book to the lending library, bought a copy of my own and came to your office to find out what my assignment was all about. How are you, Mr. Haley? Fine, my boy, fine. Glad to see you again. No, sit down, sit down, thank you. Ah, adding to your store of knowledge, I see. What are you reading? Oh, the case of the playful Siamese. Ah, crime fiction, trash. When there's good literature available, why waste your time on such mediocre drivel? What do you think you're playing, Noel Coward? Millions of dollars taken in on it every year. What's the difference as long as you're not taking in? Oh, you bet they'll not get a penny from me. Oh, yes, they will. I said they will. Will Shakespeare, you know, Hamlet, Macbeth, a fellow crime fiction. No comparison, that's different. Anybody knows that? Well, I guess we'd better get down to business. Your plane leaves in an hour and a half, six thirty. This girl needs a bodyguard. Who is she and what's she afraid of? It's a sad, tragic case. The result of her misdirected, surely not faultless life, but nevertheless a situation that demands outside help. Oh, there, there now. Don't go to pieces. All I ask was what's her name and what's she afraid of? Her name is Anne Connolly. Six years ago, she had the misfortune to fall in love with a man named Neil Grafter, a man of violent passions, jealousy, and so on. He misrepresented himself to her. He plied her with luxuries. Then, practically on the eve of the wedding, he was arrested for grand theft. Uh-huh. Yeah, I think I can ad-lib the rest. While he was in prison, she didn't get tired of the luxuries he'd given her, but she did get tired of waiting for him. Well, he had lied to her and five years is a long time. True. The point is, Grafter is coming out on parole today and Miss Connolly is terrified at the prospects of her first meeting with him, his violence, you know. He wants threatened to kill her if she so much as looked at another man. We want you with her when Grafter arrives. Well, why me? Aren't there bodyguards for hire and Milwaukee? We hold a large paid-up policy on her life and we want her protected. Besides, she's practically penniless. She couldn't even afford to hire a private detective. You know, it's a tragic case. And then, on the other hand, possibly all her fears are imaginary. Perhaps nothing will happen at all. Look, Mr. Haley, you can count on one thing. If I'm mixed up in it, something will happen. Expense accounts, item two. Fifty-five dollars and ten cents. Airfare, Hartford to Milwaukee. I switched on my reading light, settled back in my reclining seat and once more buried my nose in the case of the playful Siamese. I should have buried the book. It turned out that Dexter Payne had lived through chapter one and he really started to live in chapters two and three. A beautiful blonde in a slinky negligee. It just made herself comfortable on Dexter's lap and guess what happened? A fuse on the plain blue, my reading light went out and I spent the rest of the flight in a dark cabin in a black mood. Expense accounts, item three, two fifty. Cab fare, airport to the address of Anne Connolly, which for a girl who couldn't afford a detective was quite a hunk of address unless she was living on friends. Looking for Miss Connolly, she is not here. In fact, she has went out for the entire evening. Oh, well I think she's expecting me. At least she's sent for me. She sent for you? Yes. I'm Johnny Dollar from the insurance company. Oh, how dense of me. She did mention in passing that a detective would show up. Step inside, please. Thanks. Up your coat and things. She wishes you to remain until she comes home, which could be any time after the joints close up. Yeah, sure. And in the meantime, I have been instructed to see that you are comfortable. So what would you care for? A straight flug or a high ball? Well, a high ball would be fine. Step this way, please. Oh, the floor's waxed, so watch that throw rug if you don't wish to land on your ear. Okay, thanks. It's a nice place. Do you own it? Most decidedly not. To me, it is a sweatshop. I am Cora. I am Miss Connolly's personal maid. Personal maid? I agree that I do not look the type. I only accepted the position because I was on my uppers. My regular racket is specialty dancing. Please be seated. Thanks. Cora, if I may call you Cora. Oh, please do. Cora, as I understand it, Miss Connolly needed a bodyguard, but she couldn't afford a higher one. So she asked the insurance company to hold the policy in her life to supply one. Well, that's me. And now I find out she lives in a house with other tracks and has a personal maid. I'm confused. Listen, Mr. Dollar, it is my opinion that preventive measures should start at home, if you know what I mean. No, I don't. In other words, she needs a bodyguard like I need a foster mother. What do you mean by that? Cora, she has more men hanging around to protect her than Princess Margaret. You know, if they were divided into a line in a backfield they could walk over Notre Dame? That's right. Well, what about this guy who's coming on a parole? Pardon me? Neil Grafter. While he was cooling his heels in prison, she was cooling her love for him and she's afraid of what will happen when she tells him. This is news to me. Of course, I have been in Miss Connolly's employ only a few days, but I have not heard mentioned any kind of a grifter or a stir bomb in her past. Now, as regards to your highball, would you care for Scotch, Bourbon, the same water? Make it Scotch, soda and no ice. Hey, Cora, if you don't want a compliment, that outfit you're wearing, naked sandals, quilted skirts and that sweater make you look less like a personal maid and more like a personal friend of Earl Flynn's. I should list so long, but I thank you for your appreciation. It's part of my condition here that I am allowed access to Miss Connolly's wardrobe, except for here, with the same size. Here's your Scotch end. Thanks. And if there's anything else that would add to your comfort while you wait, name it. All I need now is an easy chair and a lamp. I'll get back to the case of the playful Siamese. Pardon me? So there I was, Johnny Dollar, with Johnny Walker in one hand, Dexter Payne in the other and a few questions simmering in my mind. They really boiled down to one. Namely, what was I doing there? Oh, well. In Chapter 5, Dexter finally found a clue. I wish things would work out as easily for me sometime. I was just turning to Chapter 6 and guess what happened? Anne Connolly came home. The first thing I noticed about Miss Connolly, after the size of her escort, was that there was more similarity between her and Cora than just body measurements. Her hair was the same shade of brown and at first glance, at least, even their features were the same. Then she saw me. Oh, but you must be Mr. Dollar from the insurance company. Check. Now, this is Mr. Merrick, my lawyer and my friend, Miss Dollar. How are you? How do you do? I hope you've been comfortable. Thanks, I have. Too comfortable. Usually when I'm sent to guard a body, the body is there to guard, not out on the town until 2.30 in the morning. Wow, of all the... Wait a minute, honey. We thought it was a smart move, Dollar, all right, Mr. Merrick? While you're in the mood to answer questions, maybe you'll tell me why, with a layout like this and a personal maid, did Miss Connolly turn herself into a charity case? Why didn't she hire a local muscle man? That is none of your business and if you don't like your work, go back to work for now. And darling, hold your temper. You'll have to forgive Miss Connolly. Dollar, her nerves are on edge. You can understand that. Dollar, the fact is that she couldn't afford the higher protection. There's no need for protection. There's no way of knowing when Grafter will show up. Does that answer your question? I had planned a winter in Bermuda. I hope Grafter makes up his mind before the Thor sets in. I only hope you're as sure of yourself as you sound, Mr. Dollar. I try to be. I think I'll skip that drink, Anne, now that you're in safe hands, I think I'll go home, get some sleep. Of course, Ray, if you think it's all right. I'll see you tomorrow. Yes, I'll call you in the morning. Anne has my phone number. Oh, thanks very much. But I'd rather have a baseball bat. I learned early in my career that an excellent way to court disaster is to wait for trouble because it usually sneaks up behind you. But it was too late then to go looking for it, so I made the rounds of the house checking the locks on doors and windows. Then I turned off the lights and hunched myself up on a couch that would have tested the stoicism of a bed of nails type Indian faker I wondered about Dexter Payne. I wondered if the playful Siamese was a cat or somebody from Siam. And I just about made up my mind to duck into the closet with my trusty Ronson and read until the fluid ran out and guess what happened. A door closed quietly and a white robe figure floated toward me. Intrusion of your privacy but there are certain things I'd like to hash over with you in secret. Wait till I see if I can straighten my back. Cora, I'll make room for you on the couch. Many thanks. I hope you don't mind my state of attire but I didn't bother with the robe in case the noise of the closet door might awaken Miss Conway. That double talking nail. Here, I'll put my jacket on your shoulders. Thanks, but I can only stay a minute. Listen, Johnny. You may think me meddlesome since it's none of my affair but I couldn't help but overhear when two were feeding you a line of downright untruths earlier in the P.M. Well, this is the best news I've had since I got here. Give me more. It was in regard to Miss Conway's financial standing. I happen to know that Dame is a solvent in the state of Wisconsin. Well, I haven't read up. She's fat and I'm not casting aspersions on my own figure. Oh, please don't. How'd you find this out, Cora? It is not that I make a habit and I can't keep my eyes away. I know just how you feel. Well, in this case, it happened to be her banker and with that balance, she could afford J. Edgar Hoover. Yeah. Why are you telling me all this? Have you got something against her? As aspersions upon my honesty. It's only a faint suspicion but you could be trying to talk me into leaving the case and leaving Miss Conway unprotected. Well, I am thoroughly disappointed. Oh, Cora. It so happens that I told you because I am a strong believer that it is decidedly crummy for anyone to take advantage of their fellow man. Now, look, Cora. But from now on, you can take a flying leaf. Cora. As I stumbled across the room and into the pitch-black hallway leading to the bedrooms in the rear of the house, I wondered what Dexter Payne would do in a similar situation. To both Dexter and me, life was just a bowl of uncracked nuts, and I wondered questions headed up by Who Shot Home? In just a moment, we will return to the second act of Johnny Dollar. But first, the case of the paper stars a thrilling true story from the police file starts a three-week serialization on CBS's Gangbusters Tonight. Don't miss the first episode of this story of police on the trail of a gang that terrorized three states. Also on CBS Tonight, you'll hear the latest adventures of that famous private eye, Philip Marlowe. The adventures of Philip Marlowe on the trail of the same CBS station. Tune in. Tune in this fall for the show that you love at the fall. Listen carefully. Here's the address. It's C-B-M-C-B-N. Now, with our star, Charles Russell, we return to the second act of yours truly, Johnny Dollar. Holmes told me the way to a room, but before I got there, a stream of cold night air blowing into the hall through an open door to another bedroom and the smell of cordite that came with it meant that this room had been the shooting gallery. The corner of my eye picked up the corner of a white garage just as a king-size shadow of a man crossed it and I went out after him. I made the garage in a dozen heartbeats. Believe me, the way my heart was going, that was record time. And as I skidded around the corner, an arm about the size of a fire hose came out of the darkness, cooked around my neck and pulled back. Face that loomed up above and in front of mine was ugly, bearded and I was like, you're working against me too. He would go. What, what's the matter with you? Sure, I'd let go. You must be Neil Grafter. I didn't kill her, did I? Because she wasn't in her bed. Oh, was she? With you? No, she wasn't with me. What's the matter with you anyway? So she wants sour on you, happens every day. They even write songs like Don't Cry Joe about it. Why set yourself up to go back for the rest of your life? You were smart enough to get on a parol. Why don't you get smart enough to pull yourself together? Prison? I don't remember any prison. I forget things sometimes. Oh, but... I could ask the doctor. No. No, not anymore. Who are you? Another one of her men? Like Neil. I know some place where it's more comfortable than this. Some place nice and warm and we'll talk. Oh, no. Everybody tries to play tricks on me. Nice and warm. With bars on the windows. People making noise all over the place. Well, you're not going to stop me. Nobody is. Why don't you let me help you then? That's what the doctor kept saying. You're a doctor. Well, I don't need any help. I can do it myself. Now calm down, Grafter. With my own hands. Here, I'll show you the doctor. Why should I kill you? You don't help me. Just stay away from me. He went. And what's more, I watched him go. One, I didn't have enough strength to get off the ground. Two, if I had the strength, my extreme dislike of being choked to death would get me out of going after him. Three, the guy was obviously nuts. When I finally could make it, I staggered back to the house. You can turn on the lights, Miss Connelly. He's gone. No, I've waited a second thought. Maybe we'd better make sure all the shades are down. He might come back. You might say he saved my life, at least when he got halfway through the job he changed his mind about killing me. You talked to me? I tried to, but he didn't understand anything I said. He talked about wardens and thrones as in prisons. He talked about doctors and barred windows and noisy people as in mental hospitals. Do I translate that to mean that he's off his rocker? Cora, please, go over there and sit down. We'll all get to you later. Well, pretend I'm elsewhere someplace. After all, it was only my bed that he blasted. Did you hear that, Miss Connelly? Oh, it was a horrible thing to do having Cora sleep in my room. I was happy, Mr. Harry. Maybe we can air some of the linen before he arrives. Instead of being in prison, which was a story I got, Graff, there was in a hospital for the criminally insane nursing a big yin to ventilate your head. Is that right? A month ago. Yes. The doctors notified the police here that I was in danger and they supplied a 24-hour guard for the house. But after a month they decided nearly gone someplace else. So they withdrew the guard. Oh, great. So the only people left who cared more about your faith than they did about mine was your insurance company. But I didn't have any insurance. What? So Ray bought a policy for me and then we contacted the company. Uh-huh. Legal blackmail, huh? Which brings to mind a meaty little question. Did you lie to the general manager, Franklin Haley, about where and what Graff there really was? Or did that misplace con man hoodwinking into this mess? We told him the truth. I swear we did. Okay. I hope he lives through my expense account because that little trick is gonna cost him. Expense account, item four. Three dollars. Breakfast the next morning. Over which I managed to steal a few moments alone with Dexter and his dilemma. In chapter seven, Dexter finally came upon the corpus delicti. The only sign of life in the place was a Siamese cat playing with a ball of string. But before I could find out how the cat figured into things, the phone rang. Hello? Mr. Dollar, please. Yeah, this is Dollar. Oh, fine. Oh, hello. Hello, please. I am so busy. Oh, well, this is Johnny Dollar, Doctor. I'm an insurance investigator. No, Doctor, investigator. I want to talk to you about a patient of yours, Neil Grafter. Grafter? Oh, yeah, yeah, the paranoid schizophrenic. A very interesting case. A complete fragmentation of the mind, total loss of synthesis. But he is no longer here for a while. Yeah, I know. He's not. Oh, what was his condition? Perhaps a state of passive negatism? All I know about his condition is that he's dangerous. He tried to kill his ex-girlfriend. Oh, he's a strong obsession. An extremely strong man. Look, I've been hired to protect this woman. Now what I want to know is, will he try again? There is no doubt. But when? Tonight? I would say tonight. The degree of hallucinatory enmity towards this woman and everybody about her, the depths of his obsession. Wait a minute, doctor, wait a minute. You're way over my head. But you do think he'll be back tonight? I am positive. Thank you, Dr. Kildare. And all Dexter has to worry about is a playful Siamese. I know a killer can be depressing all by itself. But to make it more so, in Milwaukee, the sun went into hiding behind a layer of dark gray clouds about 4 p.m. and it started to snow. It had a mood of weathering heights with icicles. At 5.30, daylight shut down. The night shift took over. And at 8, after a dinner that nobody dined on, I didn't brush my teeth. I lied in them. And what kind of protective measures do you propose to make tonight, dollar? Oh, no, as far as I'm concerned, this is a night off. A doctor down around the hospital who knows Grafter better than anyone else says he won't be back tonight. I wish we could be sure of that. Yeah, so do I. How can he make such a positive statement? Like people like Grafter? No, I tell you, there's nothing to worry about. Ms. Connolly, I want you and Ray to go out just like you did last night. Cora and I will stay here. All right, if you think it's the thing to do. But I'm worried about Cora after what happened to her bed last night. Now, how can we protect her? It's a little late to worry about that after you set her up. But forget it. Just to make it safe, she won't be in that room. I will. I'll have to go to the hospital. I'll have to go to the hospital. I'll be back in a few minutes. I needed something to bolster my courage so I ordered it. At 2.30 a.m., things were looking good for Neil Grafter. Ray Merrick and Anne Connolly had returned from their date. Merrick had left. Ms. Anne Connolly was trying to sleep in her room. Cora was on the couch in the living room and there was a rolled-up blanket with a good view of the house and a poor outlook on life. Nothing happened until about 4 o'clock. That's when I spotted a familiar-looking big shadow of a man moving across the garage toward the house. I got up but a flurry of wind-driven snow swept in front of me and when it had passed, I could still see the window to Cora's room but I couldn't see the man. Then I heard him at Anne Connolly's window. He started away from the house and I started toward him. I met him under the clothesline and I said, no, get away from me. Uh-oh, Merrick, but I'll put you away. How do you like that? When an insurance policy enters the picture, you can't even depend on a maniac. This is a fine time to start falling to pieces. Oh, why doesn't the doctor get here? Don't worry, he's coming. I've called for an ambulance. If Ms. Connolly kicks off, I will hold him personally responsible. Oh, look, Cora, I appreciate your feeling toward your fellow man but Ms. Connolly made a pigeon out of you. I am aware of all those double dealings. She even had you sleeping in her room where Grafter almost blasted you. Now what I want to know is why are you so anxious about her recovery? Because she owes me a week's pay. If this sawbones doesn't pull her through, I'll sue the city of Milwaukee for my arrears. Expense account, item six. $150 for services rendered while I was on the giving end of a blood transfusion, which Anne Connolly needed before she could be moved. One item, at least, was the one bought cat since she is your policy holder. The doctors give her a 50-50 chance to live, but even if the scales tip the other way, I think your money is safe because her beneficiary, Ray Merrick, is guilty, among other things, of attempted fraud since he planned on having Neil Grafter blame for the shooting he did. Expense account, item seven, five cents, newspaper, which reported that the police had returned Grafter to the hospital from which he had escaped. He had come back as Dr. Kildare said he would, but he was a little late and missed the party. Item eight, $55.10. Airfare, Milwaukee to Hartford. Expense account total, oh yeah, Dexter Payne. You know, I never did finish that book. After those cats I'd been jiving with, I couldn't care less about a playful Siamese. Expense account total, $845.36. Signed yours, uh, truly, Johnny Dollar. Truly, Johnny Dollar is produced and directed by Gordon T. Hughes and stars Charles Russell. Script by Paul Dudley and Gil Dove. Featured in the cast were Betty Lou Gerson, Sandra Gull, Bill Johnstone, John Daener, Bill Conrad. The special music is written and conducted by Leith Stevens. Your announcer is Bob Stevens. Be sure to be with us at the same time and another unusual expense account is handed in by yours truly, Johnny Dollar. A wave of a Christmas present for a few moments brain scratching. Could be there's $54,000 in the Sing It Again jackpot now, $25,000 of it in cold hard cash and the rest in wonderful prizes. By just listening in to Sing It Again tonight, you get a fine pre-Christmas present. Lots of amusing riddles, plenty of good music. And maybe you'll get that $54,000 call from Danny Seymour. We'll be back every Saturday night on most of the same CBS station. Stay tuned now for the Vaughn Monroe Caravan, which follows immediately over most of the same station. This is CBS where yours truly, Johnny Dollar meets adventure every Saturday night, the Columbia Broadcasting System.