 It's on the gas is here Got a stream in portrait today because I Have My battery is going dead on my phone. So I gotta keep my battery on the charger So I got a stream in portrait, but I wanted to pop in because I was gonna shoot a video But I didn't get a chance to shoot a video but Keep getting this question and one thing, you know I'm just here to level the playing field and one thing that always urges my nerves as a relationship coach is When I'm coaching Women and they're dealing with a guy who keeps leaving You know who leaves multiple times we I did a video on why do men come back? But what I want you to understand speaking from a male perspective about when a guy keeps leaving First what you have to realize is that most men understanding key words most men Don't know how to be alone That's number one. Most men do not know how to be alone. I Right now know of one man out of every man that I know I know of one man who is completely single and abstinent one man if you are a woman and You think you know a man who was completely single and abstinent unless that's your brother and He's a virgin then you don't really know because a man is not gonna tell you his full of truth Men only share their full of truth with other men So as a woman, you don't know what you think you know about a man You don't even know your own father the way you think you know your father. So understand that so men struggle being alone and You see that from the beginning of time when the creator said look this man needs someone with him Now she was made for him He was not made for her. So what that means is she was given something here to understand that he's gonna die probably before you or he may have to go to war and get killed or Whatever but you Will be strong and you will be Stable because your children will lean on you as a mother You will be the mother of the earth and you will have more strength when it comes to being able to be Independent and self-sufficient than a man. That's just the truth And if you really study humans the way I do you will find it to be true that it is easier And it's hard for a woman to be single and abstinent Men struggle with that and I never really meet men Who are single and abstinent? So Understand that is one reason why man always keeps a woman around Now the other thing what you have to realize is Number two is a man is always looking So what this means is men love to upgrade And when I say this I'm speaking the majority most men there will be exceptions to the rule So we're not here to argue about that men love to upgrade and So a man in a lot of cases does not know Exactly what he's looking for in a woman because it's women who are known for having a list Not a lot of men have a list There are men who have a list, but it's few and far in between So a man is learning a woman as he goes he's getting to know more and more of what he wants in a woman based on the women that he deals with and So a man will get with you and you're good enough for the time being and Then he starts to get bored and he starts to wonder if there's a better version of you so he starts to wonder if he's settling if you are truly his wife and He goes back to thinking of wanting a relationship to be easy and wanting it to not be you know stressful and Not wanting to put in a lot of work understanding Not understanding he has to communicate and he has to sacrifice and he has to give a lot So what happens is when he's tested and he's pushed and the relationship is Tugging on him saying listen. You got to communicate Listen, you got to sacrifice. You got to give you got to do more. You got to be more. You got to be faithful you can't be Abusive verbally emotionally socially physically financially you can't Take advantage of a woman just because you're hurting and so this relationship starts to require a lot of this man And it's uncomfortable because he has to sacrifice and so what happens is he will sabotage the relationship He'll get little attitudes. He'll get snappy. He may get distant He may start talking to another woman and allow you to catch it allow you to see his phone Like just leave it unlocked or leave it somewhere He knows you can get into it go into the code You know allow a woman to text him and not delete the text or call him and a man will find ways to kind of sabotage the relationship and what he's doing in this moment is he's trying to Make the woman Lose some self-worth and some self-esteem So that she will start to feel a sense of scarcity and say listen. I just want a man I just want a family I just want a child or a children or I just want to be with the father of my children So if he wants to do this or go to the club or gamble or talk to other women and I catch them I'm gonna check them, but I'm not gonna leave them a lot of times a man will Get caught Because I'll be honest with you. It's easy to cheat. I'll be out. I'll be honest with you It's easy to cheat you a man can cheat on you Very easy and never get caught when a man gets caught cheating It's because he doesn't care anymore. He doesn't care if he gets caught. He's being reckless Intentionally, but he's doing that because he feels that he has you figured out So he feels that because you have Failed so many little tests because you've let him yell at you because you've let him take from you because you've let him Give you his word and not keep it because you've accepted him back before Just little tests. It could be any type of little test where you have compromised in an unhealthy way He feels he has you figured out. So he feels that if He gets caught slipping You're not going anywhere because he has sensed that you are desperate For a man. So he gets caught on purpose cheating or flirting with a woman Emotionally cheating or just liking pictures on social media knowing that you can see it He'll do things intentionally to test you and to break you down If all you do is get angry you want to argue. Maybe you want to yell a little bit You know, you want to fuss a little bit if that's all you do He'll deal with that But pay attention to this pay attention to this Something strange happens a lot of times when a woman catches her man talking to another one Either flirting with another woman Emotionally cheating in the inbox Liking pictures or fat-out cheating with another woman something happens to women What what women do in that moment most women key word most start to feel insecure and inadequate and Now it puts the man in a position of power and the woman starts to seek his approval and Seek his love a woman will give more sex and better sex after being cheated on then With a faithful man Because with a completely 100% faithful man a lot of times with a good man a lot of times A woman takes a good man for granted. Oh, he's too soft or he's he's too submissive he's too easy and women want the bad boy because he seems tough and he seems secure and he seems Confident when really you're misreading everything. So a woman will Take advantage of a good man and take take a good man for granted and then when a man yells at her curses at her cheats on her, you know Emotionally or physically Then I see women as a relationship coach in the trenches every day all day not on your job in In the gossip mill in the cafeteria. We're not talking about that I'm talking from thousands of case studies and Six different continents from the ages of 16 to 68. I live it. I breathe it. This is what I do Most women start to seek this man's approval and do more Yes, she is mad. Yes. She's mad. Yes She's pitching a fit but she starts to seek his approval and do more And so what happens is this man finds himself in a place where he's Unsure if you're his wife and he's unsure if you're his wife because he doesn't know who he is He's not confident in himself See when a man finds himself and he knows who he is and he's confident in himself Then he knows what he's looking for in a woman But when men go from woman to woman and a man keeps leaving It is because he is in search of something that he does not know what she looks like And so he uses you to kind of hold him down to hold him over to buy some time And then he will sabotage you the relationship push you away to give him time to Entertain this other woman that he's met online or he met at the grocery store and he will deal with her He will feel her out, but because of his soul tied with you He can't give her everything and because of him cheating on you It makes him lose trust in himself and trust in women so a lot of times he doesn't give the side woman or the new woman everything and That woman is like this is a waste of my time. I just got hurt by another dude Now I'm dealing with you and in the first month two months You're already full of crap and so that woman she's fed up and she moves on and then that is why your man comes back to you because he gave a half hearted effort to the other woman because he never dealt with his issues or Because he got with her and realized that she doesn't measure all the way up to you So then he sabotages that Situation ship and then comes back to you to use you as a hold me down To get some sex off of you get some hot meals get somewhere to stay somewhere to live you know or Whatever benefits he's getting from you doing his laundry scratching his head Massaging his back driving your car or just using you for date nights He'll come back and a lot of times he will come back and he will do more Then he did the time before because he has to win you back and make it look real so he wins you back he makes it look real and then He gets tired again realizes that you're not his wife You're not a woman that he wants to sacrifice for and be faithful for so he sabotages the relationship again to go get some new time with this other woman and sometimes what happens is In his irrational behavior, he may go outside of the home from you and get another woman or two pregnant and Then after doing that and realizing that he put the cart before the horse Then he'll come back to you because you are familiar and He's used to you He knows you inside and out. He knows you're desperate for love. You're desperate for a family You want a man? You want a family? You want to be with him? You wanted the work and because you saw Some other couples online go through all of this stuff and they worked out that you want that to be your story And he knows that and so because he knows that he plays on that and he knows that he can string you along He can use you how he needs to use you and keep you there While he is testing the market Playing the field and if he doesn't find anyone that's better than you he comes back to you He settles down with you and he gives you more than he gave you the time before So listen, I want you to understand that a man doesn't have to have a father a Man doesn't have to be raised in this healthy happy home to know how to love that's all a myth because Love and the ability to love is innate Yes, it is a learned behavior of how to get a relationship, right? But it's not hard to learn because it's common sense We know It a wolf could raise a man and he would know that you aren't supposed to lie cheap deceive manipulate beat verbally physically a Woman he knows what he should and should not do to a woman There are hardened thugs real-life killers Who treat their woman like a queen? It doesn't matter how hard he grew up or who he lost As a grown man, he knows right from wrong and how to love a woman stop making excuses for grown men I was an absolute savage and I knew exactly what I was doing Don't make excuses for a grown man. So if a man is Has left you two times three times if it goes more than that then It's 100% Over and he's leaving you because he's looking for the next best thing and guess what? If he finds her It does not matter if you've given him three children Four children five children if you've given him ten years of your life 15 years of your life 20 years of your life When he finds what he feels he is looking for he will drop you like a bad habit so understand this if You are the one for that man He does not have to think about it worry about it and he does not want to ever leave you Because if he sees you as the one a prize though the woman for him Guess what he fears? Leaving your presence for an extended period of time Because he knows another man will swoop in and snatch you up When I met my wife, I knew she was the one I Wanted her to adjust and to adapt to my grown boy ways So I tested her and I tried her tried to be controlled and tried to be Manipulative tried to be coercive or whatever it was. I never once left my wife She left me So that's the key difference. I need you to understand here. It's different if you left him Because of his behavior and then he fought and clawed and came to get you back That's different if you had to leave him to stand your ground, but if a man Continuously multiple times leaves you That's totally different because a man never Leaves a woman that he loves and he feels is the one Unless you're the toxic person and then he has to leave for his Morals and values and standards and then you got a fight to get him back But just to leave you for no reason like you didn't cheat on him. You didn't beat on him You didn't you know dog him out disrespect him treat him like trash And he's just leaving you. He sabotage the relationship and leaving. That's your sign right there That is your sign right there. Trust me. Listen to me. Hear me on this That it's over let it go. It's over move on with your life because when a man knows he knows That's real you've heard that when a man knows he knows that is a hundred percent real That is 100% real what I would like to see the end of is career dating and multi-year Situationships if I could single-handedly in that I would and I'm in the fight against it. I am for intentional dating an intentional marriage It does not take a man three years four years five years to know if you are his wife If he's over the age of 25 if your man is over the age of 25 and you've been waiting on a ring for Five years four years You're wasting your time But I could break this up into several different little sessions and I'm gonna try to do like these 20 to 30 minute sessions once a week Tuesday night might be a good night, but I'll see but hey, thank you so much Share this with somebody who needs it, you know It's somebody on your Facebook page your Instagram who needs it you might need it if you need it Watch it two or three times. Hey, God bless you