 Item No. SCP-1295 Object Class Keter Special Containment Procedures Outpost 618 has been founded in order to maintain the covert containment of SCP-1295. Ages and researchers disguised as staff, patrons, and local law enforcement are to discourage civilians from interacting with SCP-1295. Instances of SCP-1295 are not to be made aware of their containment. SCP-1295's daily routine is not to be interrupted under any circumstances. Description SCP-1295 is a collective designation for a group of four elderly men, who patronized makes good at eating, a diner over the ██ highway ██, between 0900 and 1800 every day. SCP-1295's anomalous properties manifest when an instance of SCP-1295 is prevented access to the diner between the hours of 0900 and 1800 local time, or removed from it by force. The exact nature of the effect and its duration is contingent on the instance of SCP-1295. SCP-1295-1 To prevent an access or remove from the diner against its will, ██'s unknowledge properties will begin to manifest between 5 and 10 minutes after its removal. Those caught in an area beginning with approximately 100 meters from ██ exhibit extreme lethargy and complete lack of any self-preservation instincts, making even a simple accident potentially lethal. The area of effect grows by approximately 100 meters, for every hour ██ is kept away from the diner. SCP-1295-2 If prevented access or removed from the diner against its will, ██'s anomalous properties will begin to manifest between 2 and 3 hours after its removal. Those caught in an area beginning with approximately 500 meters from ██ lose their ability to distinguish between edible and inedible matter, and will often endanger themselves or others in attempts to consume unsuitable nourishment, metal, toxic waste, living flesh, etc. The area of effect grows by approximately 1 kilometer, for every hour ██ is kept away from the diner. SCP-1295-3 If prevented access or removed from the diner against its will, ██'s anomalous properties will begin to manifest immediately after its removal. The body of those caught in an area of approximately 50 meters around ██ will lose all microbial lifeforms associated with them. The adverse effects include, but are not limited to, a rapid decrease in the functionality of the digestive system due to lack of gut flora. The area of effect grows by approximately 200 meters, for every hour ██ is kept away from the diner. SCP-1295-4 If prevented access or removed from the diner against its will, ██'s anomalous properties will begin to manifest 30 to 40 minutes after its removal. Those caught in an area beginning with approximately 150 meters from ██ will experience a sharp increase in cell preservation instincts, to the point of paranoia and acute hypochondria. This condition soon becomes debilitating, as those afflicted by it will refuse to perform any action that might put them in any sort of danger, minor as it may be. The area of effect grows by approximately 200 meters, for every hour ██ is kept away from the diner. Those caught by both the effects of SCP-1295-1 and SCP-1295-4 enter a comatose state, presumably due to their opposing nature creating an unbearable mental strain on the subject. Any attempt to track instances of SCP-1295 when outside the diner has thus far failed. Addendum 1295-A The following conversation between all four instances of SCP-1295 were recorded by Agent ██, the skies of the waitress, on ██, begin log. Are you gonna finish that? Yeah, I'm going to finish that. I always finish what I order. You've been asking me. Are you gonna finish that, every day, for the last sixty years? And the answer was always the same. Why the fuck do you keep asking? I guess I'm just an incurable optimist. Ain't no such thing as an incurable anything, Frederick. Trust me on that. I don't know about that anymore, Pat. Seems like your big act is getting quite a bit less popular lately. Christ, not this again. Look who's talking. Yours wouldn't even exist if people got their acts together. Now, you look here. Shut up, both of you! Sixty goddamn years of this shit, every fucking day! You two are lucky I loved our coffee here so much, or I would have left you two to kill each other years ago. Yeah, because we just find your presence so delightful, Dwight. Don't think for a second I forgot about you, Warren. You're the one who got us stuck in this mess in the first place. It was an honest mistake. Where I come from, a great big fiery mushroom usually means the end of days. How was I to know it was just a big bomb? That's your bloody air of expertise! It's not like it used to be. I don't really get these new trends, honestly. Everything today is remotes and drones and electro-thingies. Give me a good elephant over this nonsense any day. I hear you. Hey. Oh come on guys, it's not so bad. We're always going to be around until the very end, and nothing they can do to change that. Easy for you to say. Your thing is pretty much bulletproof. Relax. I know staying here for so long has got you guys a bit stressed out, but it's only a matter of time until we can ride on. Besides, as much as I hate to admit it, I really like it here. The food is great. And the atmosphere. Not to mention the waitresses. I think that blonde one just winked at me. Can you give me a piece of that pile of? Much obliged. So we just sit tight and wait. It's going to happen any day now, I know it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, Warren, you going to finish that?