 What's up guys welcome back? I'm Jason savage gone savage representing Anthony dream Johnson's 21 Convention Stockholm, Sweden 2010. We just heard from Jared Ratisse. Excellent presentation I'm here actually to introduce my friend and colleague from Austin, Texas His name is Jonathan van Mater. He goes by a crazy cloud that's his superpower super human super ego community name and and Aside from being an accomplished dating coach and lifestyle coach Jonathan is also He's an actor. He's a musician. He's a poet. He is a freelance writer And he's actually on tour with me. We're touring Europe something. We're calling seduction without borders. We've given up Basically most of our worldly possessions. We've kind of sold everything Given it away or just otherwise given it up to make this trip to Europe and we're gonna spend at least four months over here No idea what he's gonna be talking about, but it shouldn't it's sure to be awesome Another one more quick thing about Jonathan is that he is part of the director's board for Zan Perrion's Our Zamorata program of which we are both graduates, so if you guys could welcome Crazy cloud All right Thank you guys. I want to say my thanks for Jason Savage for a great introduction Thanks to Anthony and Matt and the whole team that is making this whole operation run like clockwork I've been here for the whole three days of the conference and enjoyed every moment of it And I feel like all of you guys who are here who are not speakers are getting amazing value out of this and So my kudos to Anthony and his team for just making this event come together All right, so a little lightness to start off pick up artist walks into a nightclub and of course he looks around the nightclub He scopes it out He looks for the hottest girl you can possibly spot and she's in this corner and in the corner She's sitting there talking to this Buddhist monk, so the pickup artist says to himself dude This is totally awesome. If there's anybody in the world who would not cock block me. It's that fucking monk So he goes over he goes into the set. He's super excited, you know, he's coming on and his game is just kicking and The girl is totally eating it up and the monk like not only is he not being threatening and not trying to amog the pickup artist He actually seems to be helping him along like he understands the game He understand these gamuts that the pickup artist is trying to use so the pick up artist feeling really good He's like, okay, I'm so I'm so in with this girl like I know what my next move should be so that I can close This deal so the girl excuses herself to go to the WC and the pickup artist turns to the monk And he says hey, man. I really want to bounce this girl to another venue so I can you know get her buying temperature up Could you help me out? Just when she comes back make some excuse to leave so I can bounce her to the next venue and The monk looks at this pickup artist with kind of a sly smile on his face and just pause us for a moment and Then he just with like lightning quack quick accuracy like rears back and punches the pickup artist in the face And as the pickup artist is falling over and fading into unconsciousness The Buddhist monk says true venue change must come from within So this is a talk about what the community calls inner game. I don't really call it inner game I call it permanent access to joy. I call it indelible self-esteem. I call it durable happiness I call it having a baseline of joy and happiness in your life that cannot be taken away from you This is not about how to get good with women It's about how to feel good about getting good at anything not just getting good with women, but The process of mastery in your life of mastering new skills involves challenge. It involves trials Sometimes it involves suffering But I want to teach you how to feel good even in the face of those trials in the face of those challenges in the face Of that suffering So we are going to talk about what's within you When I want to say a little bit about why it's not about women women are neither your only source of pain nor your only source of happiness I know that for a lot of you guys The crisis point that made you say I have to change my life is Something relating to women like a big breakup or just feeling that you weren't getting the connections that you wanted or Being a virgin and like really wanting to have sex that first time And I understand that and I accept it and I celebrate it However, that is like the earthquake that's caused by a volcano erupting and Instead of addressing the earthquake. I want to deal with a volcano today so We're going to talk about women, but in the context of this larger action that's taking place in you this larger change That's growing from inside you So we will talk about how to feel good getting good at anything a little bit about myself I am not a pickup artist You have seen much better pickup artists than me in the course of this three days I am not that good with women what I am good at is feeling good about where I'm at being good with women So I really have never felt like a pickup artist I actually identify with the word that Zan uses and that that Jason also likes to use which is romance artist or love Artist I am definitely a creature of love I am definitely More of a maker than a taker like to me pick up the word always felt like you're trying to take something and for me I'm trying to create in the world, you know, like Jason said. I'm a poet. I'm a writer. I'm a musician That's what I do. I'm an artistic soul. I like to create. I like to build I like to build people up instead of tear them down and take from them So that's my Place that I come to this from so I stand before you for one thing with 21 years of experience and how to be happy not having sex I was a late bloomer The first time I fell in love was at six years old. Her name was Mar-Ann Kelly. She had red hair and like huge soft eyes and Mostly the reason I loved her was because at the time I was way too smart for first grade And she was like the only kid who didn't taunt me poke me kick me bully me like she accepted me as I was and Even though I was only six at the time. I call it by what it felt like at the time which is love and So like as my time went on in life, I came to a point in life where it's like I had access to sex But at the same time I felt like I wanted to wait for that love I wanted that love to happen before I settled into the sexual side of myself So I waited later than most people. I have turned down more sexual offers before I was 27 Before then I have accepted since then I actually multiple times turned down chances for my first time having sex to be a threesome Once I turned down a chance for it to be a foursome like two girls and another guy You know these are things I know some of you guys aspire to but part of it was because I had a very specific value system I knew what my standards were for myself and that was what I was going to hold myself to And like I said, I'm a creature of love. So for me, it was very much about the first time being about love a Lot of what I'm going to tell you today didn't come from me trying to improve my sexual and romantic life it came from me studying origami and jazz improvisation and C++ and The art of writing And that's that's part of what I want to teach you today Which I don't even have a bullet point on this so I'm just going to say it and you're going to have to take It in which is mastering anything at all makes you good at master mastering everything like that just that sense of mastery that sense of your own ability to Address new challenges will make you better at addressing other new challenges And that's all I have to say about that because I have to hurry it up So another thing about my background This has to do with my association with Zan Perion One of the things I did in the course of that was to be the founder of the first ours on Marata chapter in Austin, Texas and Initially, this was meant to just be a meeting for graduates of his ours on Marata program to reconnect with each other To kind of keep each other on the path But we decided to open it up to men and women alike who were just wanting to have a frank and honest conversation about Men and women connecting and how men and women relate to each other most of these were people who had no connection to the community They were like friends of friends who just showed up because they had this some kind of Either pain point or our joy point or something in their soul that they wanted to share with the rest of the people Who were there that they wanted to sit in this community and have a conversation about why some of these things work and other things don't work So I led these conversations week after week for months And they all worked the same I would start with a question Just one question something that had piqued my interest about how people are dating and relating to one another in the past week Very open-ended question and then from there the conversation would just continue of its own volition Usually the only other thing I would say in the whole course of it would be to ask maybe a couple more open-ended questions to kind of steer it toward The conversation having a little more depth In the process I learned a whole lot about the places where people suffer When they are trying to connect with other people So when I say that I understand where you're coming from I'm not only speaking from my own experience of Suffering and trying to get good at this I'm speaking from all of those other people's experience that they have related to me that they have spoken to me the places where they feel hurt or they feel confused or They feel misled or betrayed So I want to share to you some ways to deal with that that I've actually Offered to some of these people to sort of help them work through that and that I would now like to offer to you So we have five principles to talk about today, and I will try to get through all of them Number one is how to make mastery effortless Number two is how to use leverage wisely Number three is all about how to make irrational, but pleasing assumptions Number four is polyamory is for everyone, and that may sound confusing But I'll explain when I get there and number five is how to dwell in mystery and choose love in your life All right, so we'll get right into it make mastery effortless I'd like to say I really liked what Orlando said yesterday When he said how it feels at the beginning is how it's going to feel when you finish it That is so insightful That's the principle. I actually first learned before I ever heard of the community when I was learning jazz improvisation. I read this book by a jazz pianist his name is Kenny Werner and Surprise surprise his book is called effortless mastery Even though it's written for musicians I would say it's actually one of the best books for any field on Inner game and how to feel good about making progress So listen to this little quote It is good to view things as familiar or unfamiliar Rather than as difficult or easy If you give yourself the message, this is difficult The piece may discourage you and it will still be difficult to play even after you've learned it There's more to that quote, but I want to stop there. How many of you feel like you're having success with pickup to some degree or with seduction if you'd like to call it that But at the same time it feels hard like it feels like work That's a lot of you That's a whole lot of you and a lot of that is the message that you're giving yourself. You're telling yourself. It's hard You're telling yourself. It's work It's your self-talk All right, I'm going to continue. However, if you believe that all music is easy Then you will assume that you are unfamiliar with the piece And it just hasn't become easy yet Let that sink in It's just not easy yet I'd like you all to repeat after me. All seduction is easy It just isn't easy yet All seduction is easy It's just not easy yet. All right, remember that internalize it Make it part of you Stop making it hard. It doesn't have to be hard. It is easy This change is easy. The process is easy. It's just unfamiliar You're in unfamiliar territory. You're in a place where you're not comfortable and that's okay It's okay to be uncomfortable. It's okay for it to be unfamiliar But you need to still feel that it is easy and you just haven't figured out how easy it is yet All right, let me see All right, ultimately what Orlando and Kenny both had to tell us is this treat your work as play Treat it as play treat it as something that you can make fun Yes, you should be disciplined. Yes, you should be focused Yes, you should give your best effort, but do not make it heavy And do not make it hard. It should be light. It should be easy It should be delightful. Actually, this is one of zan's favorite phrases is ease and delight in all things That you should feel at ease with yourself at ease with the world Even when you are giving your best hardest effort Even when you are putting the most of yourself into something it should be done with ease All right, let's talk about a couple of practical ways you can change your thinking on this One of those is master things that you know are easy Even if you're not interested in them Even if they are not your passion I I really would not advise you to spend your whole life doing things. You're not passionate about I would advise exactly the opposite But just temporarily in the short term if you feel like you don't have this sense of mastery this ability to Feel that things are easy Just master things that you've looked at and you've said I could do that if I wanted to And just allow yourself to want it for a while to master it to feel how easy it was to feel your own internal sense of mastery Um, and then once you've done that a few times you can move on to pursuing the things you are passionate about With that renewed sense of mastery Um, and the second is to recognize your mistakes unflinchingly and then let them go completely and suddenly Um, here's Kenny Werner again Sometimes you hear yourself botching things up that you've practiced and you don't even question it That's because the mistakes actually agree with your belief that I am not a master and music is hard In fact, the material has just not been practiced to the proper level of ease music has to become easy. That's the secret So what he's saying here about mistakes is like you have to recognize your mistakes You have to look at it and say yes, I made a mistake. A correction is needed here. Um, that's essential Um, and actually this is a point where I disagree with marius who said yesterday you can't learn from your past I say you can learn from your past But you can everything that you can learn about your past can be learned in about 90 seconds You stop you look at it. You say I did this wrong this wrong and this wrong. I accept it I know what to do next time and i'm letting go of it Holding on to your past is what will not profit you at all Um, there's nothing new to learn by holding on to it. So just let it go Celebrate it accept it do not cling to it and that brings me to the next principle Which is use leverage wisely Um, can someone tell me what they think some of the most successful words in the entire self-help life improvement recovery um life coaching universe are Just one suggestion All right, I'll just tell it to you. It is this God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change Courage to change the things I can and wisdom to know the difference It's the serenity prayer from alcoholics anonymous. It's also used by a bunch of other Uh recovery addiction recovery Organizations and the message is a very simple one only push Where something's going to move Look, you are here because you know that your life needs to change But the question is how do you make that change manifest? Right? How do you make it present in your life? How do you make it? take place Leverage is basically just basically basic physics if you imagine a seesaw If you sit in the middle of the seesaw at the fulcrum You're not going to go anywhere. Nothing will happen If you sit really close to the center and somebody is sitting way at the end on the other end You're not going to go anywhere because their weight Holds your weight up and you're not not going to move You apply leverage at the point where the seesaw moves which is way out at the end You push at the point where the most work will be accomplished So tell me this Just show of hands. Can you change other people? You're you're way ahead of me. Uh, no hands up for can you change people though? Um, of course not you can influence you can inspire you can mentor you can teach But the only person who changes a person is that person So tell me this why do you keep pushing on other people trying to turn them into what you want them to be? Why do you keep trying to manipulate the people in your surroundings as a means of changing your life? Why don't you push on yourself because you are the one who can change yourself? Uh, another one, uh, why do you keep dwelling on your past when it's already written and cannot be undone? Why do you think about it so much? Why do you rehearse it? Why do you relive it? It can't be undone push on the present moment where you can actually make a difference forgive your past Shake hands with it. Thank it for getting to where you are now and say a fun fucking farewell to it Except the things you cannot change and have the courage to change those you can How many of you believe you are wise enough to know the difference show of hands? The difference between the things you can change and the things you can't How many of you think you can figure that out? All right, there's a pretty good number of you, right? So you have the tool you need to put your leverage in the right place That's all you need All right, so let's make this a little bit practical Ultimately, this principle is about learning to where to put your attention Um, if you're being distracted from changing yourself, you need to solve those distractions by putting your attention back where it belongs Uh, so these are just a couple of Uh, simple little tactics to remind yourself to put your attention where it belongs Uh, before you shower in the morning You can put soap on your fingers and write the word now on the shower on the window in the shower on the on the mirror So when you get out, there it is written in front of you the word now Change your phone ringtone to a female friend saying over and over you must change your life. You must change your life You must change your life Tell your best friends That they get to slap you and collect a dollar every time you start dwelling on the past You will be a poor man really quick And have really red cheeks, but you'll get the message Because then you're going to actually get progress progress you can feel good about progress You can actually reward yourself for if you're putting your leverage in places where nothing moves All you're going to feel is discouraged and disheartened if you put your leverage where things happen Then you'll make progress it may be small progress Maybe baby steps as orlanda was saying yesterday But you're going to be making progress You're going to be getting somewhere and you can reward yourself every time you take one of those steps So push where it'll move All right next up make pleasing but irrational assumptions There is a constant feedback loop inside you between your beliefs and your experience He who has not seen will not believe and he who does not believe will not see You need experience to prove the things that you believe you need belief to even go out and have the experiences in the first place It's this closed loop In community terms, we would say intergame in the field or like very tightly coupled You can't fix one without fixing the other And as you might have noticed the fact that it's closed loop kind of makes it seem like change is impossible But there's kind of a secret backdoor into this loop that I want to talk about The way to break into this loop and start changing your beliefs even in the absence of proof is assumptions It's perspectives. It's chosen perspectives Human beings are actually extraordinarily capable of holding multiple irrational paradoxical and even contradictory beliefs We are we are not only free to do this. We are designed to do it Um, it's it's part of what gives us that higher intelligence that enables us to have What we call free will It does not have to be true It does not have to be make sense The thing that you believe only has to be useful to you and your happiness You can choose to believe anything So let's look at some assumptions that are particularly useful for you First of all all women are already my women Of course, it's not true. Of course, you're going to meet that girl who's like, I'm not your girl You're going to meet that girl who's like, I'm his girl. He's my boyfriend and he can bench 350 You're going to meet those people but Believing this releases you from worrying about whether she likes you You're assuming that she likes you You can stop worrying about that you can stop dwelling on that Believing this releases you from needing to impress her Because she's already won Like you don't have to win her over the game is over She's already your girl Believing this releases you from all of the obligations you tell yourself you have to meet before she will like you Because she already likes you You don't have to jump through hoops. You don't have to make a laugh Uh, you don't have to make the deepest emotional connection anyone has ever made None of this is necessary Because she is already yours Believing this lets you simply show up as you are Okay, another belief. I love this one All sex is good sex This is so fucking untrue. You will have better sex sometimes and worse sex other times. I know it's untrue I know it's a total lie But this is this is the point Nothing will kill a sexual vibe more than checking out more than Going to that place where you're comparing Instead of experiencing instead of sharing a moment with someone You don't want to check out when you're having sex with someone you want to be there You want to be present you want to share the moment? That's the way the sex that you're having will be the best it can possibly be the minute you start checking out It starts on that downward slope to getting worse and worse Why make your mediocre sex bad? Let it be what it is and just assume that all sex is good sex Likewise, all conversations are good conversations. The same principle applies to emotional tension In emotional conversations in rapport type conversations that applies to sexual energy and sexual connections The same principle applies if you start checking out, it's just going to make that conversation worse worse worse So let it be the best that it can be assume that your conversation is a good conversation I don't care how badly it feels in your body Continue to assume it is a good conversation And finally this is a tough one All love is good love This gets to the pain point that I know a lot of you have Show of hands who's been heartbroken It's a whole fucking room We've all been heartbroken This is tough because when you try to make this assumption it puts you face to face with all of that heartbreak in your history It puts you face to face With that pain that you felt that suffering that you felt and I know that it's there But you have to remember you have already learned from it all that you can That's what we discussed earlier your past teaches you everything you need to know Pretty much at the moment that it happens Maybe a few minutes after that and then you need to let it go And moreover the past is not a reliable predictor of the future It is not It may be tempting for you to feel that pain and say oh Pain is the inevitable result of my love and my vulnerability. So I'm just going to avoid being loving and vulnerable But you have no guarantee that that's true It is just as likely that pain is a rare but bearable and survivable result of your love and vulnerability And normally those qualities are met with love with reciprocation with appreciation with celebration with excitement Why not assume that isn't it more pleasing to assume that Given a choice between two equally irrational beliefs. Why not choose the one that it is most pleasing to believe Why not choose the one that enriches your life the most? Not the one that makes that your past makes you think is the most true Because your past is not proof Say that with me the past is not proof Thank you Your past is a red herring, right? It's like what they put in the mystery novel to distract you To make you think things are going this way when really they're going this way Choose to believe what it is happiest to believe and choose to remain open to love believe that all love is good love Now I know some of you are already protesting Because you're convinced that the pain of love is still going to come to you in the future And I'm not going to lie to you it probably will But that's okay Let's talk about the next principle and that's one way to solve that which is polyamory is for everyone The modern connotation of the word polyamory Means like many sex partners or like many relationships Many romantic or emotional relationships I want to take it a little further back The word comes from greek and latin roots that mean literally many loves or many passions And I'm not going to tell you what kind of relationship you should be pursuing if you want monogamy straight up Like you want to find that one girl who just makes your heart sing And commune with her that is great. I'm not saying you should not do that If you want to have multiple long-term relationships, that's also great If you basically just want to be a sex robot And have as many sexual partners as possible with as little emotional content as possible That is also okay with me. I'm not in this segment saying anything about any of those choices What I am saying is this You should have more than one source of joy in your life and you have you should have more than one place to put your love If you have only one you are setting yourself up for a fall You're setting yourself up for the pain that will come the suffering that will come to completely devastate you to rock your Pendulum completely off of its axis so Let me tell you a little bit about me. My life in the past few years Has been riddled with moments of loss and sadness. I lost two grandparents I lost my father I lost my cat I lost three different jobs And I also lost the most loving and gratifying relationship I've ever had in my life It's a lot of loss for three years But what has kept me afloat is that my life is full of passions. It is full of things that keep me alive that keep me In inside a sense of my own aliveness that satisfy me that gratify me That have nothing to do with women Yes, uh women are a part of my source of happiness. Yes, I am free to draw joy from the experiences I have from them But I don't put all of my eggs into that basket Uh, I spread my passion widely Um What has kept me afloat has been these two things. I always have a self-directed source of joy And I always have a place to actively give my love Um As Jason Savage said the other day your seduction is a gift to the world But it is not your only gift If this is the only thing that you are applying yourself to right now with passion You need to work on some other passions Because you are setting yourself up for an inevitable fall um You are hiding your gifts from the world you are being withholding You're withholding your radiance. You're withholding your unique contribution to the universe And you have one You should be giving that out and if you're doing this and this is all you're doing You are not giving your full gift to the world. You have other things to give Um, when I say that I have always got some kind of self-directed sense of joy I mean, I always have more than one passion in my life that excites me that inflames me I mean, I always have more than one line connected to that power plant that makes you happy Um a perfect example to look at for this is Casanova Like everybody's heard of Casanova. He has this huge reputation as like one of the greatest seducers of history What a lot of people don't realize unless they actually bother to read his biography Wow, okay, um Is that he was also a lawyer a composer a doctor a musician a political leader and a poet And much more if you read his memoirs You will learn that even he felt major heartbreaks and felt them deeply But at the same time he was always perseverant in his love and passion for women And for all of the other things that he did he always had passions in his life and not all of them were women Having so many passions made him able to do what fred was actually talking about on the first day when he said You need to build your house on more than one pole Um, he had so many polls that he could feel disappointment He could feel it very deeply and yet he still had that that that well water Like that that level of happiness that could not be taken away from him So the real achievement That you want to achieve is not outcome independence Which is a big buzzword in the community What I like to say is outcome independence is not outcome indifference like You should not let that Make you stop caring about what happens. Of course you care Of course you care that that that girl who's been your best friend for three years that you confessed to your love to Did not reciprocate. Of course you're disappointed. Of course, of course, you're curious about what might have happened Of course, it's hard for you to let go of that and that's all okay like don't let Your your attempt to release yourself from being dependent on that one outcome make you stop caring about it Continue to care But just put your caring as wide as you can your supply of love is infinite Your only finite resource on this earth is time Everything else is infinite love infinite laughter infinite joy infinite It is there for you as much as you draw from it and it keeps filling from the bottom You can't run out of it. The only thing you can run out of is time So why waste your time believing the things that make you feel badly? All right, uh, very very quickly. All right Also always have a place to actively give your love and when I say actively I mean actively for example Uh, you may have your mom in your life, right? But if you're not calling your mom regularly, you're not actively giving your love Um, there's actually scientific research that shows that being compassionate empathetic and giving Is the best route to durable self-esteem Self-esteem being your love for yourself Yes, uh, things like achievement like getting results getting goals Winning awards stuff like that will build your self-esteem, but it only builds it temporarily and then it falls right back down This is all scientific research If you want to build it durably be compassionate be empathetic be giving do works of service for people who are worthy of them Do works of service for people that you love Call your fucking mom Do volunteer work Reward yourself for your own aliveness not for your achievement Give yourself awards for how alive you feel in the world and how expressive you are Finally, I will try to make this as fast as possible final principle dwell in mystery and choose love Let's get back to first principles love Is a mystery and I don't mean detective mystery. I don't mean agathchristi I don't mean csi and I certainly don't mean fuzzy hat and boa mystery the pua. I mean mystery In a very different sense Um, the greek root of the word mystery is musterion which is also deeply tied to the word mystic Um, ultimately mystery is about our confrontation with the unknown with the uncertain Life is fundamentally uncertain We make decisions all the time and we don't know what will happen Whichever way you go, right red pill blue pill. You don't know what will happen left right Um, supersize it or don't supersize it. You don't know what will happen And that's okay We actually as human beings need to confront that uncertainty We have a deep seated need for that um I'd also like to say hate is not the opposite of love because hate Is certain hate is certain that this is bad for me hate is certain that this will damage me Hate is hate is cynical, right? It's it's already judged it before it has happened The actual opposite of love is fear Ultimately all of the choices in your life can be reduced to a choice between love and fear Love fear. You can love the uncertainty. You can celebrate it You can greet it with curiosity. You can give it a gigantic hug and say I'm so excited to find out what will happen Or you can fear it. You can run away from it. You can try not to make a choice which is in itself a choice Um, and what I wanted to implore you to do is choose love As shakespeare said all the world's a stage life is a non-stop rehearsal life is Actually, it's not even a non-stop rehearsal. It's a performance that you never get to rehearse for You make every choice only once Um, you'll never know what lies down the path. You did not travel. So again Love or fear love or fear What what kind of creature do you want to be you can embrace the uncertainty Be in love with the questions be excited by the potential or you can flee Avoid the questions try to create easy answers for yourself and squander your own potential because ultimately fear is about potential You don't fear the things you do not have the potential to do You only fear the things that you already have the will to do some part of you wants to do it Some part of you wants to go skydiving and that's why you're afraid to do it If you've never thought of doing it, you're not afraid of it because you know I'm the sort of person who would never go skydiving It's you know, you see the girl in the club and the one who is making you the most nervous That's the one you're most attracted to That's the one that you are most pulled toward your body is like, oh, I want to do it I want to do it and you feel the fear you feel the fear Because you are so willing to do it Really what what the community calls approach anxiety Is just a bodily signal that you have arrived at a point of choice A point where you're not certain what will happen You are dwelling in a moment of uncertainty and you have a choice between love or fear you get to choose how you feel About what the community calls approach anxiety what the community is already applying like a negative term to Anxiety it just sounds negative Stop calling it that Call it a choice moment Call it a call it a lover fear point call it whatever you want But make the choice for love Love the uncertainty Love the fact that you have no fucking idea what might happen For all you know like angels might descend from heaven carrying like You know huge swaths of like cloth one of them like filled with food and the next one filled with like Your your dream all of your dream girls From from every year of your life from like age 16 to age 76 all just served up to you on a platter, you know that could happen to me The man who really has game Is the man who is game Like and when I say game I mean like in the sense of like the adverb gamely like to do something gamely Is to to do it like with pluck with with courage with bravado with no fear of the uncertainty You know who had the most game in this room during this whole conference Who was the most game? It's those two lovely women who were sitting at the back for most of the conference who All of you guys kept pulling up on stage to do demos because they kept coming up here having no idea what would happen They kept making that choice and embracing the unexpected Having no clue what this this room of of you know swath and and Alluring pickup artist was going to do them That's game Those women are game. Those are your role models Those are your real role models because they made choices in the face of uncertainty and they chose love So very quickly I want to contrast very quickly confusion game and mystery game I'm not going to go too far into this because savage has already talked about a seduction Or his savage triangle Contrasting pickup with seduction. So I just want to say this To me seduction is the choice of love And pickup is the choice of fear Pickup chooses to confuse And confusion is an artificial representation Of the mystery that we all need to feel in our lives And if we would just set that confusion aside if we would cut out all the routines cut out all the games Cut out all the subterfuge cut out all the misdirection and instead Focus on the mystery of one unique person and another unique person focus on all the questions that opens up just by itself What are the possibilities for me and you? That in itself is enough to excite anyone We don't need all that other bullshit Um, so I would encourage you to dwell in mystery Do not dwell in confusion Um, that is an artificial societal construction that's trying to replace something that is very natural for us Which is to commune with one another and sit inside of a question the question of what can we become? So if you are really like searching for any kind of connection with movement, I don't care if it's sexual emotional purely physical whatever Do it from a viewpoint of mystery do it from a viewpoint of curiosity Turn your sense of wonder on stand in front of a woman And just see what it sees And that's all for me All right, very very quickly Uh, I have a very quick plug Um, Jason and I as as he mentioned are founding a company called seducers without borders Uh, we want to announce a unique opportunity Which is a uh live in instruction experience where we come to you We are in europe for the next four and a half months We will come to you all you have to give to us is this Bed or couch or sleeping bag or something to crash on and what we will give to you in return for that plus price to cover our instruction time Is ubr tour guide to your neighborhood and meanwhile we are your tour guide to the land of women We are your tour guide to mystical seduction to passionate living to courageous decision making to sexual and emotional honesty Um, you can travel with us from the security of your own home and we will still show you wonders. You've never seen before Uh, so we have two options for this. It can be either $3,200 for five days or $2,100 for three days of non-stop instruction Uh, or if you're not able to host us say you live in a dorm or something like that We're still available for one-on-one coaching and can come to you So just talk to us about pricing and we'll work something out Uh, so please just talk to me or jason after the conference and uh, we will do our best to come to you wherever you are in europe Yes, they can yes, and eventually there will be a website for seduction without borders, but it ain't there yet So don't go looking for it All right, thanks guys