 When you genuinely care about someone's rest and you care about if they eat, I think that that's just, I don't feel like it gets more submissive than that where it's like you're taking yourself out of it. But like as far as like the closest love I think of having a child is like the love I feel for my partner. And it's scary for me to think that it'll change once I have the child. So in your romantic partnership, you baby, you are a servant to, you are a lover, you wanna be a step ahead while you laugh at it. These are your words. It sounds insane. Cause I know it is my words, but it sounds crazy. What's going on everybody? Popping in to give a shout out to the sponsor of this video that you're watching right now, Squarespace. Now it's still early in the year, a little bit, you know, pre-summer. So it's time for you to get started on that next big idea. And if you're gonna do a big, do it with Squarespace. Build a website, launch an online store, use their mailing list and other marketing tools to get that big idea started. Squarespace is an all in one platform to build a beautiful online presence. So go to squarespace.com slash shambudi to get 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. Again, that's squarespace.com slash shambudi to get 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. Oh, I know, I know, I know. I don't know why you're feeling away. Why, what do you mean? Look at you. I'm nervous. No, why? Because if I ask stupid questions, if I step on your toes. Never, never. I'm so nervous because I'm like, oh my gosh, what are we gonna unravel today? Even though I know that everything we talk about is gonna be needed for people to hear, especially from me, because you said I would never think you would be like that. I would not. And that's interesting to me. So you know why? Because when I know of you is you've always been a hustler, you've always been a boss, you constantly reinvent yourself. That's what I said. My first and foremost comment to you was I've known about you for over a decade now. Oh, thank you. That to be said, my perception of you has been career oriented, me first, not in a negative way, but kind of like the person who's like, I'm no good to you if I'm not good to me. And it's interesting you say that, me first. I'm not even like that. I think that it seems like that because of how I hustle, but even when I hustle, it's not even for me. All right, so let's bring it back to the basics. What is the art of being submissive? First step is get with somebody who wants what you have to offer. I think love and submission is a tailored fit. It's not a one size fits all. So I can only tell you what it means to me. Now for me, it's complete selflessness. I am satisfied in serving. I'm a servant. And I watched my mother serve all my life. And it was rain, sleet or slow. I think we talked about this on the phone. My mother's love for my father wasn't conditional. It's not my responsibility, but it's your joy. It is my joy. I love to see him eating the meal that I cook. I love seeing him sleep easy. Like every night, like clockwork, I scratch this man's back to sleep. And I know when he's asleep because I can tell when his breathing changes. And some people might think that's psychotic, but that's like, I just know that's when I'm like, oh, I can stop now. But I find joy in being your rest. And it shouldn't be conditional. A part of that lack of conditions too means that you do your duty joyfully regardless of what's being done for you. That's it. I do my duty joyfully regardless of what is happening to and for me. You know, now some days I might be more cheerful than others because I have my own stuff going on. You know, when there's times where it's like, I don't even want to say what's going on with me because again, I know how to deal with me and my pain. You know, I'll cry in the shower and keep it moving. You know? But in the art of submission from me, because I can't speak for everybody, is being joyful about it. You know, that want of, and I think it, not even just a want, the power of knowing that you, you have the power to make someone's day better. And that's a choice. Yes, better and easier. That's a choice that you have to make. I always make the choice to do it. I always make the choice to do it. I like to give, I like to allow my person to lead. They know, especially like when it translates in the bedroom, I like to feel dominated. You know, riding dick ain't always my favorite position because I like to be taking advantage. Oh my gosh, no, I don't like to be taking advantage. I like to feel, that's okay. I like to be degraded. Yeah. Those are languages that I like and I accept. I do, but if I'm comfortable and if I trust you. So just know what that means. Know that dance with your partner. I think of relationships and submission and being submissive is like, it's like an eight count. Know that dance. You better know that five, six, seven, eight. One, dishes clean. Two, laundry. Three, if you have a long day and you fight in the world, you would never come back and fight me. You would never come back and walk into a space that is not welcoming you, you know. Do you think that this is controversial in some capacity? Absolutely. To some, it could be enabling. You know, and someone told me one time, they're like, you're enabling him. And I told him how that made me feel and he was like, of course they're gonna say that. They don't have nobody doing that for them. How did it make you feel? It made me feel like maybe I am. But at the same time, that's my love. So if you don't understand it, you know, it's not, I'm not loving on you for you to get it. That's how I love. And whoever I love is gonna get that benefit. Yes. There was a time where, you know, women needed men for everything. We couldn't even open up a bank account, you know. And now it's like, women are really in their bag where they're like, I have my own business. I'm doing this. I don't need, I don't need a man for nothing. Like basically, like, can I be frankly? I'm like, I don't need a nigga for shit. I don't. You know, and I can say those words, but I want one. So my brain wants to understand the exchange here. Because it's not, no, you're doing great. But my, cause I told you, I'm gonna ask a bunch of stupid questions because this dynamic, I think like my relationship with my partner is very egalitarian, like we're equals. Like I don't ever feel like I'm giving for the sake of giving and I'm not receiving for the sake of receiving. I'm receiving being like, well, I deserve this and I'm giving being like, you deserve this. So there's that exchange happening. So you speak on, you're like, you tell him the things that you need. Yeah. And the things that you feel like you deserve, you'll say that. 100%. How will you say that? I need you to step up in these areas. I need to not worry about this. I need to be able to take my brain off this thing. I need more affection. I need more love. If we're gonna be sexual, here's the things that I need to like feel more sexual. And in return, I invite that like, so we have a lot of conversations. Does he receive it well? I think everybody has a problem with being told that they're not doing enough because we always go to like, well, I'm already doing X, Y and Z. So I think that there's, there can be, I wouldn't say that he's always arms wide open, but he always suggests. But so I guess when I'm listening to your relationship style, I'm like, if we kind of broke it down into like to-dos specifically, like what does a submissive woman do for her man? Everything. What does that mean? You know, like packing his bag, unpacking his bag, just making sure all the things that he wants. And I pretty much read his mind. So it's like, I know you and I study you. Like, I know how you are in the morning. I know how you are about midday. I know when you're in this mood, what you need. Like before you can ever ask me for something, I'm already on it. I mean, he's spoiled. And you know, when I talked to my girlfriends about it, I was like, oh, how are you guys doing it? I'm just like, girl, he's rotten. I'm like, he's spoiled rotten. Like he's rotten. But I love that. Like I want him to be there. I think my biggest flex is how I treat my man. You know what I mean? And my biggest flex should be how I treat myself, which is, so it's kind of fucked up. It's kind of messed up. What are you getting from all that you're giving? What are you asking for in return? You know, it was interesting. And you saw my reaction when I was like, you say that, you asked for that. You know what I mean? I think that I have gotten better at saying the things that I need. But if I don't get it the first time, I don't like to say it again. So would you do what you're doing for a broke dude? What do you call broke? Requires your financial support as well. No. No. No. I mean, I think to be broke, you can be some great lover, still very romantic, still very emotionally supportive. But I'm just like asking about that. I wouldn't even know that. I wouldn't even know that he's all those things. Because I think there's a lot of people who are financially stable, who are broke minded, and I can't get down with that either. So let me just clarify the question. What are the requirements from a man to bring to Jazzy in order to get this level of love from you? I think it's how you make me feel. I have to feel safe with you emotionally. I have to, you have to excite me. I need edge. So all this cute soft shit that I need him to be emotionally this, I do need that. But I also need some edge. And I also need a man that is like, you know, like I am most submissive. So like, in a way, my love language and sex is like, I'd like for you to tell me what to do. So sometimes it's like, Jaz, sit your ass down somewhere. It's like, oh, shit. What'd I do? Let me sit down, you know? But it's like someone who was a very, you know, you can be emotional and then be soft and things like that. But I still need you to have a little sprinkle of that edge. Do you need an alpha male? Yes, only, only. And you know, and I think men are confused on if they are or not. And if you are confused, you're not one. What is an alpha man? I think in my experience of an alpha male, it is somebody who is respected, you know, walks in the room and everybody just kind of like feels their presence. Some people can interpret submissiveness as like, anything goes, like I'll put up with anything. No. No way. I mean like, I think anything goes for sure if you're comfortable with the person. Cause I'm doing shit I never did before. I'm just like, I would have never done this, but you know what? I'm comfortable with this person and I feel safe. Do you have an example? Ain't all. You're like having an example? Yeah, that. Do you do it for you or do you do it for them? I do it for him because for me, I'm not at a place where I like it yet. I had, we had one successful time where I was like, okay, you know, my butt cring. Knowing what your values are, knowing what your role in the relationship is, being joyful about it, that's also a big part of it too. But I would assume that there is a line where it can get dangerous and chaotic. So when you think about that, like as a submissive person, what do you have to be mindful of to ensure you're not being taken advantage of? Lovers and friends, lovers and friends. I'ma take you on a trip, baby. I don't pretend, I say. Thank you so much for watching that video. I gotta remind you guys again, how much we love Squarespace. I mean, our whole family loves Squarespace. I mean, we use it all across the board. Shan, Lauren, me, and I'm sure Ry you will when she gets old enough. Listen, Squarespace is the most user friendly, even for me who has no idea how to code. I find that I can customize the websites to my liking, however I want, and they have amazing templates. I mean, beautiful templates, stunning templates. I mean, modern templates, things that if I were to go to a website, I would think a super duper high tech coder made this website. And if you have a mailing list, look over to Switchin' over to Squarespace because it is the most cost-efficient one that I've found so far. And I've used a lot of them and they can get pricey. Head over to Squarespace.com and start playing around for free. And when you're ready to launch, go over to Squarespace.com slash Shambudy to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. Again, that is Squarespace.com slash Shambudy. Save 10% off. Let's go. Let's get it. Let's go. Let's get it. Let's get it. Let's get it. Let's get it. Let's get it. Let's get it. Break in the back. Break in the back. Head out here for that.