 Hello, hello, everybody. Welcome to episode 9 of The Walk podcast. That's right. We finally have a name and I'll get into how I came up with that name in a second and what it means. But if you are new here, my name is Sam. I don't just post these podcast episodes. I post vlogs and just little lifestyle things. I like to talk about fashion. I talk about my faith and really just anything that's on my heart and on my mind to share with you guys. I've had this channel here for a while and I go through seasons of how much I use it. But this year lately, I have such a passion and a fire in my heart to just continue posting on this channel. So if you are not subscribed, I would love for you to subscribe and kind of join me on the journey. And I'm excited to see what else kind of comes from this channel. But as far as our podcast, yeah, I have been praying for a name, for just a name to hit me, for inspiration to come from somewhere. Because I really, I had no idea what I wanted to name this because I talk about so many things that I was like, what can I, what name can I pick that just like encapsulates everything? And so it's funny how like prayers are answered sometimes because I was driving home from work one day this week. And I was, I wasn't even thinking about the podcast. I wasn't praying about, I was listening to a country song and I was like singing it out loud. Like I wasn't even thinking of this podcast and I don't know how, I don't know where it came, well I do know where it came from, but I don't know where it came from. And all of a sudden I saw like the words in my mind, the walk. And I was like, the walk, that would be a good podcast name. And as soon as it entered my mind, I knew, I was like, yep, okay, it's the walk podcast. And because this channel really, but also the podcast, you know, I talk about my walk through life, my walk with God, you know, when you're feeling yourself, right? You're doing a little hockey walk, you know, like I just feel like it, it matches so many things of what I want to do on here. So I think the walk is perfect. I hope that you guys like it. I am going to go back and edit the titles of all of the past eight podcast episodes just so it's consistent because that's the way my mind needs things to be. But yeah, guys, welcome to the walk podcast and I'm really excited that you guys are here. So today I have a couple things to share with you. That was the first thing. And then I have something really cool and kind of mind blowing to share with you and I'm going to do that next. But the overall message that I wanted to talk to you guys about, which we will get to in a little bit is it's not really a title. I'm still working on the title, but for my notes and my notes purposes, the title is searching and searching for affirmation in people and things. Okay, so that's what we're really going to talk about. That's going to be like the chunk of what we're going to talk about. But I had something happen to me the, let's see, last week, two weeks ago that honestly blew my mind. I read it to my mom. It blew her mind and it's just amazing the way that God works. And you've heard me say that so many times just because I don't know what he's doing fully right now, but he's like, he's like picture like a chef, right? I have a bowl and the chef is like mixing ingredients and mixing things around to get to the finished product. That's what God's doing in my life right now. And it's crazy. And anyway, so I got an email from a woman that I used to go to church with and I recognize her name. But when I got the email, I could not tell you what she looked like. I could not tell you the last time I saw her. I could not even tell you a memory of us working together. We served together in my old church's media ministry and that's where I got my start in like directing and television and all that. And she says we served together. And again, her name does sound familiar, but I don't, I don't even remember really serving with her. So anyway, I'm going to read you this email that I got. I got it on September 21st. It was so big that like so mind blowing that I took a screenshot and I'm like, I'm going to save it forever because. Okay, let me just read it to you. I read this and I was just in tears, absolute tears. Okay. She said, Hi, Sammy, you may not remember me. I used to volunteer for the media ministry at insert churches name here. I found your email address from an old email chain from our old media director insert her name there. She said you popped in my mind today and I can be very forgetful with people. So I know you coming to mind was nothing random. I just wanted to share with you to continue to stay the course, continue to make God the center of your life. God has amazing things in store for you. God is going to bless you in ways you can't even imagine. Your future is bright and things will get better. Like she like somehow she knew that I was going through stuff this year. Right. Things will get better. You've always been different, never really quite fitting in and in time you'll understand. And I always kind of have felt that way. God has set you apart. He has a very specific purpose for your life. So you can't be like everyone else. Embrace your uniqueness. I don't know you very well, but I'm excited for what God is doing in your life. I saw it like a vision. I can't tell you everything I saw, but just know you're exactly where God wants you right now. And then right under that she put one of my favorite verses that I have studied just these past couple months is Romans 828. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him who have been called according to his purpose. What? There's more. But instantly I'm like what? And then she signed it with her name. And I answered it took me a day to answer because I didn't even fully know how to respond. Like I was just that mind blown. So I don't even remember what I said, but I'll just read it to you because we're open here. I said hi in certain name here. I said I've been sitting here trying to respond to her email, but I am just at a loss for words. I've read it probably 15 times already and I'm stunned at how God is working. You had absolutely no way of knowing this, but the start of 2023 was one of the most difficult seasons of my life so far. God pulled me out of a relationship he didn't want me in and completely turned my life around, but in the best way. My relationship with God has become the most important thing in my life again and I spend time in his presence like I never have before. I truly feel like a new person filled with so much joy and hope. I've had the undeniable feeling lately that he is working and moving things in my life in a big way and I've seen his hand in all of it. Your email literally just confirmed all of that for me and then some. I thank God for how he used you in my life and I will never forget it. Thank you so much for sharing this with me and for believing God with what he showed you. And then I signed it off and whatever and she said, and this is where the more comes in. I hope you guys are still with me here. She said, wow, look at how God works. I really didn't know what was going on. I was sitting on my sofa watching property brothers and you popped in my mind. I haven't seen you or any of the media ministry team in a few years, so it was very strange. I don't even think we've ever had a full conversation, which goes to explain why I don't really have a lot of memory of her. She said, I haven't been to the church regularly in a while and then she goes on, talks about how her work schedule has changed so she wasn't able to go. Well, okay. She said, anyway, I'm glad I was able to connect with you and share the word that got laid on my heart and there's more. There will be more changes in your relationships. There are some friends and acquaintances that you will be departing from, which kind of already happened. You are on a new part of your life's journey. Certain people can't come with you there. Some relationships are seasonal. When certain people leave, please don't internalize it or get discouraged. God subtracts and he also adds. He will bring new people into your life, new networks and connections so his will can be done. That's what I'm trying to go for, like joining the new church and having Godly community in my life. It's just so wild. I will definitely keep you in prayer because the enemy loves to attack when we dedicate more time and attention to God, which is true. He has his hands on your life so no weapon formed against you will prosper. Like what? Like someone that I've never fully had a conversation with someone that I don't even fully remember is prophesying over my life. And I wanted to kind of explain what that is to you guys if you don't know, because I've always heard of prophecy. But I remember being younger and being like, wait, prophecy is like you can see the future. Like you're like, that's so Raven. That's how I remember taking it, which is not quite what it is. So I even looked up a scripture and in 1 Corinthians 14 one, it says you should seek after love and you should truly want to have the spiritual gifts, especially the gift of prophecy. So the Bible says that God gives certain like some of his children certain gifts. So not everyone can get the same gifts. Some people speak in tongues. I do not have that gift, which I've been learning a lot about tongues because I think a lot of things that I learned about tongues. Maybe I don't know, like the Bible says a little something different. So I'm trying to like educate myself, but there are different like gifts that some people are blessed with. And one is the gift of prophecy and it's not necessarily it's not seeing the future. You're not you're not that so Raven. You're not a psychic. But the definition of prophecy. It wrote it down is the gift of prophecy is a special ability to speak forth the message of God. A prophet is basically a spokesman for God. So basically God can speak to you through someone else and that's the gift of prophecy. So that's what he did with this woman is he gave her a message. She was sitting and she was watching property brothers. And all of a sudden someone who she never had a full conversation with that she hasn't seen in years popped into her head and God said all of these things. And it would have been one thing if he told her all these things. She wrote me an email and it was about like things that didn't apply to me. And I'd be like, okay, kind of weird, but like fine. Literally everything she said to me is so true how certain people are only going to be with you for a season. Where you're going. Some people can't come with you there because they maybe don't understand. It's just so wild. And I even like I read it to my mom and my mom was like, she was like, that's literally God. And I was like, I know. And as soon as I like I read it to my mom, I was like, I need to share this on the podcast because it's and I don't. I don't mean to share it for like arrogant reasons. I don't even know if you could take it like that. I just want to make sure that that's not how this is coming across. But it just blows my mind how like involved God is like in my life and how he's working. And he's using people that aren't even in my everyday life to kind of like confirm what I was thinking. And now without a doubt, like I will never for the rest of my life. And this is just like a personal thing. I will never for the rest of my life be able to question God or whether he's real after this. There's no way. There's no way. How wild is that? So anyway, I just wanted to share that with you. It just blows my mind and it's just it's just real confirmation that he is working. And every time I make one of these videos, I sit down and pray and I kind of just say, you know, this channel is mine. But these podcast episodes are his and like I just want to sit here and be a vessel. I want him to use me to speak to you guys about whatever you guys need to hear, whatever your soul needs to hear. Even if you're not aware of it, I do believe everybody in the world is kind of craving something and they don't even know what it is. And so if the people on the other side of this camera, the other side of this screen need to hear certain things, I pray that he just uses me to tell you what you need to hear and what you need to learn. And I always say like when I pray before these videos, I'm like, I have my notes. But if you want me to talk about something else, like just let me know. And I'll just I'll just say those words and I'll just, you know. So anyway, and not all of my podcast episodes are going to be like I don't want them to be honest with you. I don't want them all to be sitting here and just preaching to you the whole time because yes, that's good. But I want to make content that is going to appeal to everybody. Now, I still want I still want to incorporate my face in pretty much every video, but just understand that not every single podcast to me is going to be sitting down and like reading the Bible to you today. We're going to do that pretty heavily because there's a biblical story that I want to share with you because it ties into what I want to talk about. But not all of them will be this way. But at the same time, I feel like everything that I am learning that I want to share with you guys has to do with Jesus. So like I kind of can't help it. But anyway, I yeah, that's kind of where we're at right now. That's where that's the brain. The brain is braining right now. All right. Okay, so let's get into the main topic of what I wanted to talk about. So kind of the main thing that I wanted to talk to you guys about today is this idea that remember when I said that I believe everyone in the world is searching for something. And a lot of times I don't even think they fully know what it is that they're searching for myself included. Well, now I know, but for a while I didn't know. I truly believe that that's true. But I also think, and this is the main purpose of this video, the main topic is, I think we're searching for those things in all the wrong places. And I think we're searching for things that we actually already have and that we can have within us without having to look at outside sources. And so the biblical story that we're going to talk about today. I'm not going to read it word for word because we'd be here forever. But it's the story of Jacob, Rachel, and Leah, and I recommend that you read it for yourself if you want to. It's in Genesis chapter 14 right at the beginning of the Bible. And this I actually learned this at church, like the first half of what I'm going to say the first half of my notes here are actually my church notes. So I can't fully take credit for this. I don't want to tell you my pastor's name just for like security reasons. Otherwise I would tell you, but I can't take credit for this. I'm kind of just like regurgitating what I learned because I think it's important. And I talked about this a little bit in my last vlog. I vlogged like when I left church that day and I said that I was going to make a podcast episode on it. But yeah, so Genesis chapter 14 is a perfect example of searching for affirmation in things and people when in actuality what we're searching for, we already have access to. So let's get into it. I'm going to give you like the Cliff Notes, Cliff Notes, Cliff Notes version of this story. So our characters are Jacob, Leah, Rachel, and a man named Laban. I believe that's how you pronounce it. So Jacob was Laban's nephew and he, Jacob was working for Laban and he worked really hard. And so one day Laban said, what do you want in terms of like your hard work? Basically, Leah and Rachel were Laban's daughters. And the Bible like it describes Rachel as being very beautiful and Leah, not so much. I think it says something like, and I'm paraphrasing. So don't quote me, but I think it says like there was no spark behind Leah's eyes or something like that. And my pastor said like the Bible very, very rarely talks about like beauty, like outer words, beauty. So like that's that's important to know. So Rachel was beautiful, Leah, according to the Bible, not so much. So Jacob fell in love with Rachel. Now, yes, they were technically cousins. Let's not get weird. It was the beginning times very different time to be alive. Okay, that's besides the point. Rachel and Jacob saw each other for the first time. Jacob was like head over heels, fell in love, like tried to impress her, all the things. And then he kissed her. And I think the Bible says he, hold on, now I have to find it because I think it's actually kind of funny. Hold on. So I lied to you. This is not Genesis 14. It's Genesis 29 verse 14. The brain. The brain is no longer brain. Genesis 29. And it starts in verse 14. The story. Actually, it starts a little earlier than that. Just read Genesis 29. It's a good, it's a good chapter. Anyway, the funny thing was, it says that Jacob kissed Rachel and he wept aloud. So like he loved her so much and thought she was so beautiful that he cried. So he was what she would say, what you would call infatuated with this woman. Right. And I was right. It says there was no lark, no spark in Leah's eyes. But it says Rachel, what does it say? Rachel had a beautiful figure and a lovely face. So it's very rare that the Bible goes in detail with that. But okay. So Jacob says to Levon, he says, okay, I will work for you for seven years if you give me your daughter Rachel to marry. Again, olden times, different times now. Okay. If anyone comes to you and says, I want to work for your father for seven years in order to marry you. I'd say run different times. But he says, I'll work for you for seven years if you give me Rachel. Fine. He works for seven years, but he, I think it's something it says like he worked for seven years, but it felt like mere minutes because that's how much he loved her. Right. So whatever he works for seven years at the end of seven years, he actually gets tricked and Levon gives him Leah instead. His Leah was the firstborn. And obviously Jacob is not very happy about that because that's not what they agreed on and he was not attracted to Leah at all. He loved Rachel. Not too shortly after, it's agreed that he will get Rachel as well. Different times. Different times. Don't come for me. This is what it says. It's more about the moral of the story. Okay. So now he has both. He worked for Levon for another seven years. And the Bible clearly says Jacob loved Rachel so much more than Leah and Leah knew it. And the word says that Leah, because God knew that Leah felt so unloved, he gave her the ability to have a child. Rachel, on the other hand, was not given that Rachel could not conceive at least not right away. So when the Lord saw that Leah was unloved, he gave her a child. An important thing I wrote down here too is when you feel overlooked, just know that God sees you. And that really hit home for me because I feel overlooked sometimes. I mean, when you don't have, when you feel this on fire for God and you don't have a lot of godly community around you, it's very easy to feel isolated. It's very easy to feel overlooked because a lot of people can't relate to you in that way. And so I feel like that sometimes, you know, I definitely feel overlooked sometimes, but when you feel overlooked, just know that God sees you. And that's really, when you think about it, all of it should matter. And that's something that I am learning. But okay, so the Lord saw that Leah was unloved, gave her a child with Jacob, of course, her husband. So Leah gave birth to their first son. And her mentality is, okay, I gave Jacob a kid, a son, no less. Now he's gonna love me, for sure. Nope. She got pregnant again, gave birth to their second son. She said, okay, I gave him two kids. Now, now he's gonna love me. He still loved Rachel more. Third son happens. She says, the Lord heard that I was unloved and has given me another son. Surely this time my husband will feel affection for me since I have given him three sons. Nada. She has a fourth son. She says, now I will praise the Lord. And she stops having children. She was having children because she was searching for that need to be loved. And she was of that mentality of once we have this, they'll love me more. Once we do this, he'll love me more. Once I do this for him, he'll love me more. And it never worked. But the minute that she said, oh, I have four sons, praise the Lord. That was it. She felt fulfilled. She was like, I don't need to have anymore. It doesn't matter what Jacob feels for me. Praise the Lord. I'm good. And that was it. She stopped having kids. And so this just like translating this to modern world, you know, I feel like as a society, and there's so many reasons for that, but for this, but the way our society is going. We search for affirmations in things and in people, things that are going to make us feel good, things that are going to make us feel powerful, that are going to make us feel pretty. You know, how many likes did that Instagram post get? Oh, it didn't get that many, not as much as the last time. So what's wrong with me in this picture? Oh, I got 300 likes on that picture. Oh, people really like me. It's like, is it that serious? No, it's not. You know, we sometimes like I went through a phase of this when I was younger where I always tried to be louder than I really was. I tried to be the loudest person in the room. I tried to just draw attention to myself. Like when like there was a guy that I liked and if there was a guy that I liked, I always tried to be a little louder or a little more attention grabbing because I wanted their eyes on me. Which in hindsight, I was probably, I probably just looked incredibly stupid and probably annoying. But anyway, you know, something like that or, you know, the mentality of I need a boyfriend or I need a girlfriend to validate me and to tell me that I look good and to tell me that they're attractive. To tell me that they're attracted to me and to love me and to hold me. And while, yes, having that is good, it shouldn't be the end all be all and it shouldn't be where you're getting your source of confidence from. Right. And a lot of people, I've heard a lot of people say this and I've heard a lot of people say that it was the wrong mentality to have where they were like, okay, our relationship right now, not so great. But once we get married, it's going to be the best relationship ever. And then they always say, hmm, we got married and things actually got worse. You know, so you're always trying to find your like source of happiness or like what's going to complete you and other things when you can really just do it with yourself and with God. So that's why I'm saying we already have everything we need to feel validated to feel complete to feel whole. We don't need to go search it in things or in people because the things of this world guys are fleeting. Instagram likes are this small on the scale of other things in the world, you know, looks are fleeting. These things like don't don't last forever because people come and go. But if it's coming from in here, then it's always with you and you don't have to keep searching for it. And I think I've said this in another video, but I heard this from somewhere else and somebody was saying, you know, if you keep chasing happiness in the next person that comes along or the next thing that catches your attention. If you keep chasing that happiness and that fulfillment, if you're chasing it, that means it's not where you are. So every time you get it, it's just going to keep moving and you're just going to keep chasing it, but that means that you never actually have it. So stop chasing just be still and be with yourself and learning to love yourself isn't easy. It's a process. I went through it. I'm still going through it, but I've come a long way. I actually think I'm pretty dope as a person. And a couple months ago, I wouldn't have said that, you know, it's it's a journey. It takes a long time. It takes a lot of reflection. It takes a lot of self-awareness and, you know, it takes adopting that mentality of, okay, if I don't like this, if I don't like XYZ about my life, then I'm going to change it. That kind of thing. So, you know, so back to this, this biblical story that we just talked about, you know, Jacob may have settled. Jacob did settle. He settled for Leah. But Leah didn't settle. Right. And I wrote down here, Leah learned to set aside her idols of marriage, children and family and sets her sights on things higher than her circumstances. So she was idolizing marriage. She was idolizing love and children because she thought that that was going to be what was going to fulfill her. And she very quickly realized, well, maybe not that quickly, but for children later, she realized, okay, that's actually not going to work. Like that actually doesn't, that doesn't fulfill me. And I don't need to just keep chasing happiness from my husband. The amount that he loves me shouldn't determine my worth. And that goes both ways. That could be said by a man or a woman. But we have the power to create that happiness within ourselves. And once you learn, and this comes from just reading the Bible and spending time in his presence, once you learn what he says about you, nothing else matters. And that's, I feel like that's a whole other topic of conversation, but it's true. And once you know what he says about you and you know your worth and you know what you bring to the table, only then can someone come in and compliment that. So someone cannot be your whole source of happiness or something, something or someone cannot be your whole source of happiness, but it can add to what you already have. Does that make sense? I think it makes sense. So I'll leave you with this question because I'm not going to, I still have more to say. I'm not leaving you, but I just want to pose you with this question because I had to ask myself this question. And that question is what have you allowed to become an idol in your life? Is it marriage? Because it was for me. Is it love? Because it was for me. Is it validation on social media? Is it social media in general? Is it, it could be anything. Literally, I learned in youth group growing up in high school and idol, they said was anything that you put before God. That's an idol because you're idolizing it as being something so, so, so important. So what is it that you think you maybe need to lay down? And when I say lay down, I mean get rid of or release. What are you searching for validation in? Obviously, I'm not going to wait for an answer, but you just sit with that and you think about that maybe after this video is over or you can pause and think about it now. Because I really had to do that. And one of the things that I am learning and have learned a lot and I think I'm pretty much like solidified in it now. I've been reading books. I've been praying. I've been, you know, listening to podcasts, all the things and I can share all the resources that I've been like reading and listening to if you want at another time. Just let me know. Just ask. One of the things I'm learning is I idolized the heck out of relationships and love because I wasn't whole. So I was looking for somebody else to make me whole and there's a lot of problems that come with that. I remember when my last relationship ended very quickly. I think even the same day or like the day before or something. One of the biggest reasons I didn't want the relationship to end was because I didn't want to start over because I was of the mentality of I'm already 27, which in hindsight now I know 27 is not that old at all. But I didn't want to start over with somebody else because I just wanted it so bad. I wanted marriage and I wanted children and I still do. Desiring those things isn't a bad thing. But when it becomes your end all be all and when it becomes something that you are searching for in order to complete you or when it becomes something that's more important than your relationship with God, that's when it becomes a problem. And I remember being like, okay, I don't remember if this was the day we broke up or after. I don't remember. But a very early on thought was, okay, well, I'm going to have to start dating again. And like not that soon because I have to heal. But once I healed and I have to start dating again and I have to find somebody within this amount of time so that I can get married. It was a lot. It was a lot. Whereas now I'm more of just like, I am learning how to make the best of my singleness. Like what am I doing with my time because this is time that I'm never going to have again when I have a spouse when I have children because I believe that is in my future. The word says that God will give you the desires of your heart. So he knows the desires of my heart. So I know it's coming without without a doubt in my mind. But when I have a spouse and when I have kids and I have a dog and I have a crazy household, I'm not going to have time to myself. What am I doing? What am I doing with my time? Am I going to church? Am I serving? Am I volunteering? Am I ministering? Which is what I like to do with YouTube. You know, I'm just trying to make the most of my single life, my single season. And then while I'm running my race, somebody who's running the same race, I believe will come along when the time is right. When his timing is right. Not mine. That was a tangent. See that that wasn't in my notes. That was a tangent. I'm reading a book out right now from it's by Maddie Pruitt trout. Maddie Pruitt. She was on The Bachelor, but she's a Christian influencer. Her and I've been listening to her and her best friend Janine. I'm a polar a lot. And Janine also has a podcast. It's called happy and healthy. It's really good. I listened to it here on on and also say Instagram on YouTube. They have really, really been inspiring me. They have waited for godly men for godly marriages and have done things for the kingdom along the way in their waiting season. And it's just, it's so inspiring. Anyway, I'm reading Maddie's new book called the love everybody wants. And it's very similar to what I'm talking about, which is funnies, the way that God works. Because I already knew I was going to talk to you about this before I even ordered the book. Before the book was even released. So it's just, you know, that's just the way that God works. Okay. Um, that, that book is a big part in, in what I'm learning. And so similar to what I said before, if you jump into a relationship, not knowing who you are, not knowing your worth, not knowing what you bring to the table, you're essentially going to this person that you're in a relationship with. And you're like, okay, like fill my cup. Tell me I'm, tell me I'm worthy. Tell me how much you love me. You know, make me whole. Validate me, right? Tell, you're asking somebody else to tell you your worth. But the question then becomes, if that person is completing you and telling you what you're worth, what happens when they fail you? Because people fail you. None of us are perfect. What happens when they dump you? You really want to go there. What happens when they cheat on you? Not only do they rip themselves away, but they rip all that worth that they gave you, all that they take it with them because now they're gone. And now what are you left with? And that's what I experienced. And that's why I literally hit rock bottom pretty much because I didn't have my own sense of self worth. I didn't have any at that point because it was taken from me, right? Um, so anyway. Maddie was talking about, she was a guest on Janine's podcast and her book talks about it too. The three loves and the order that they go in and the way that they need to go in that order in order for you to function properly. So the first love is your love with God. Then it's your love with yourself. And then it's your love with your spouse. And as you go down that ladder, you cannot have that one without the one above it. You can't. Because if you don't know how God loves you, it's very hard for you to love yourself. And if you don't love yourself, you cannot love somebody else properly. Trust me. I've done it. I've tried. It don't work. It don't work. So that's the prayer that I'm praying right now is that I am so like on fire for God. I spend time in His presence every day. I talk to Him every day. I've learned how to pray better. And He's just working in my life. And I pray with all my heart that when my time comes to get into a relationship again, I don't lose that. Because Maddie says, Maddie is a newlywed and she's saying, you know, in my single season, like God was up here. He was the most important part. He was the first person I talked to when I woke up, you know, he was my first priority. And she was like, that doesn't change when you get married. Yes, you're waking up to somebody now. Yes, you live with somebody. Fine. That's going to be the first person you talk to. But she said, I still wake up every day and she said, she has a prayer closet. I don't fully know what that is. I could assume my note. I could figure it out. But she says she wakes up, she goes to her prayer closet and she prays to God every morning. She talks to Him every morning. She says, God, I need you. So even though she has a husband, which is great and she needs her husband too, but she goes to God and she says, I need you more, most importantly. And that's the way it should be. And so that's what I'm praying that I don't ever lose this, this fire for God that I have right now. Because in the past, I have been guilty of that where I'll be so on fire for God and then a man will come along. And then all of a sudden that's all I see. That's the only person I see. And I don't want that for myself ever again. Because what I'm searching for in him, I should already have. And I think once like now I'm at a different place than I have been in the past where I know what my worth is and I know where it comes from. So I think it's very hard for someone to take that away from me now. But still I pray I pray that all the time that nobody like distracts me from that. I wrote down a verse here and I don't it's John 15. It's in John 15. But I didn't write anything down. So let's read it together. John 15 one through five. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's John 15 one through five. And it says I am the true grapevine. This is Jesus talking. I am the true grapevine and my father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch of mine that doesn't produce fruit and he prunes the branches that do not that do bear fruit so they will produce even more. You have already been pruned and purified by the message I have given you remain in me and I will remain in you for a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine and you cannot be fruitful unless you remain in me. So again, that's kind of reiterating that Jesus is the source. God has to be the source because there's no real life and no real fulfillment without him. We're getting deep here. I really didn't think we were getting that deep but we're getting deep. We're going for it. And like I again, I'm not I am preaching to you but I'm preaching to myself as well. Like this is not me saying like I'm doing this perfectly. Now you guys have to follow my lead. This is something that I'm figuring out daily and I'm still not perfect. I still mess up every day. I still have so much to learn about myself about God about relationships. But it's it's a day by day thing, but it's something to just be conscious conscious conscious conscious conscious. There you go. Words conscious of as you go through your daily life. And so yeah, that's kind of just where I'm at now. It's like putting these idols down like marriage isn't the end all be all. I do have a desire for it and that's not a bad thing. And like I said, I truly believe that I will have it one day. But in the meantime, I got to do something good with my single season. Right. I'm not just going to sit on my butt and wait because you know what is not like fairy tales where he's just going to like show up at my door. Like knock on my door and be like, Hey, I'm your husband. Like, you know, it doesn't work that way. Anyway, I'm sorry. I'm I'm going off in a tangent and you guys told me to stop apologizing for that. And I feel like I am getting more comfortable with just like talking about whatever. But in this case, like I do want to stay true to the message, which is don't look for yourself worth in other people or other things or how much attention you get or your social media presence. Or because it really means nothing and it's fleeting and nothing in this world lasts forever. Nothing lasts forever here on this earth. Nothing. Things can be taken away from you as quickly as you get them. So that can't be where you're worth this from because once it's stripped of you, that's it. Like it's gone. So yeah, just kind of bear that in mind. Keep that in mind. But these are just some of the things that I'm learning right now and I am implementing in my life. So I hope that this was helpful. Again, I would definitely recommend reading Genesis 29. If you want to read the story for yourself, there's a lot more detail in there. But I think it's a really, really important story and I'm really glad that the pastor of the church I've been going to share that message with us. So yeah, if you have any questions, let me know. Any comments, leave them down below. I love reading your comments and every comment I get, it's like, Sam, I've never been religious, but you inspired me to order my first Bible or you inspired me to pray for the first time or whatever. That's all amazing, but let me tell you, that's not me. That's God. It's God using my mouth and my camera and my platform to speak to you. So it's not me, but I am honored to be part of your journey. My DMs are always open. My Instagram is just Sam underscore on underscore YT, Sam on YouTube. My DMs are always open. Some of them go into my request pile. So I don't always see them come through right away, but my DMs are open. My next podcast episode is going to be more of a Q&A. I'm going to ask for topics on Instagram, so I recommend you go follow me on there if you want to send in a topic or a question. It can be all things dating, face, lifestyle, literally anything. And I'm excited for that. So go follow me on Instagram if you want to be part of that and I will see you guys right back here next time for another episode. Until then, I love you. Bye guys.