 What is spirituality to you Dorian? Pretty much what I was describing earlier on, you know, it's not about having all the answers. It's about an awareness That we're much more than this and There is much more than this. There's you know, this table this room. It's not even real really It's just the program that we're perceiving. It's all made of atoms. So I can it I Can it be solid? It's a perception. It's like a program we're in and there's much more outside of this and that I was Realized and saw and felt and knew when I did psychedelics because it just takes you to a different place When was the first time you done psychedelics? What was it DMT at Alaska first? it was actually, I wasca but the first thing I ever did was it was I Wasca really But I did it in totally the wrong circumstances and probably very dangerous circumstances But I didn't know at the time because I was ignorant So I went to Brazil and I met gal who is now my wife I met her in Brazil and We planned a trip together to go to the Amazon. So we went out to the Amazon and I met a guy some guides out there That we're gonna take us on a boat and we're gonna go down the Amazon River and for a few days and sleep on the boat or sleep on the The beach at the side of the river and all this stuff So I was already You know a Cannabis smoker. Yeah, so I wouldn't maybe it's slightly psychedelic but not really so I was already into that already spent some time Living in Amsterdam and spending time wandering around and reading books and so I'd read about DMT and I wasca So I had some understanding about it 10 11 years ago. So it probably wasn't so mainstream as it is now and I said to the guys it kind of get me some ayahuasca stuff I don't know much about it But it's supposed to go on this journey and see visions and get information and all that like to have a go at that And he said yeah, of course, you know, give me the money and I'll get it So I don't know really if it was real I ask about it probably was she got me two bottles full and So no preparation nothing, you know, I headline and I asked camp in Costa Rica. I've done three of them now and there's There's a real preparation. You know, you there's no Alcohol no weed and nothing like that for two weeks minimum before and no sex No meat no dairy It's a lot of preparation that goes into preparing yourself physically and mentally for this Ceremony which is conducted by shamans in a very strict Way So no shame and no instructions. No nothing and the night before I was drinking vodka and doing lines of coke And I'm gonna go and do I ask you in the jungle, right? so one of the guys who was Native blood, you know, so he's telling me I've done ayahuasca and it's telling me a bit about it And he said, you know, you're probably gonna throw up. You might shit yourself. It's You know, it's not gonna be pretty But you'll learn something So, okay, so he said the Smoking weed yesterday, right? Yeah. I said, yeah So don't don't smoke any today. You can't mix the weed with the ayahuasca. That's it. Don't smoke today Sit all right, huh? Okay. Thanks for that. So we Chugging along down the river and he's gone to me Gone into the little cabin Captions in there with his wheel three big lines of coke on our side Let's go go on once for you. They've done one of the ones for you. Right. Yeah, but I'm doing the ayahuasca tonight No, no, no, it's all right. You can have this you can't smoke weed though so Okay, that's the line of code three hours later. I'm doing ayahuasca Could have killed myself or something. It's like but I was not knowing what I was doing is not with the right people So had ayahuasca I was violently ill Didn't get no I'm like I'm asking in my head like Where's the visions why I'm not flying like an eagle through the jungle and all this stuff and never Stop poisoning yourself What stop poisoning yourself? But now but where's the supposin so that's all I heard in my head and I didn't get it at the time I Thought I was I don't know I didn't get it And everyone was asking me how is it ayahuasca? Ah shit. No, I didn't just got really sick, mate It's no good that stuff Later on I did DMT and I smoked DMT and Out of this world just left the place and saw The connection of everything everything's all connected everything is all one thing. It's all one thing It's nothing separate. It's all one thing so connected and there's numbers that make shapes that makes reality And I fucking know and everything so I'm telling everybody Now I ask it DMT. That's the one Because I did it in a totally toxic state and later on I realized you know what I did get a message from the ayahuasca Stop poisoning yourself That's the only message that I needed to get at that point and then my next experience was I Was in Spain I was involved in a gym business over there. It's a long story, but it was really stressful and I was slipping into anxiety and depression. I was asleep in an insomnia I was was in a bad place and I was doing yoga and my yoga teacher said hey, um I'm going to the ceremony a couple of weeks ayahuasca like maybe it can help you like you want to come along I Spare I don't think so Because I did it before and it was horrible and I did DMT is much better. You don't get sick or anything So yeah, I don't know. I'll let you know, but I don't think I'm gonna come Then a friend of mine messaged me a girl actually who Came to me at some point for some help and I helped her and what we became friends and she's a very sensitive sensitive girl and she said I got A message for you. I don't know what it is, but I had a vision and I needed to tell you about it So I called her so what's going on? She said well, I was painting. I just said I was painting for hours I was just lost in this painting and I went into a trance and had a vision And it concerns you so I've got to tell you about it. I don't know if I mean I think to you But I'll tell you about it. So look right She said I was in a jungle. There was this three little native guys squatted down with the Like a big bowl of liquid in front of them and they're stirring it with a With a piece of wood and they're looking at me and they're just chanting your name Dory and Dory and Dory So does it mean anything? I was like, holy shit. Does it mean anything? That's ayahuasca I said and I've been invited to a ceremony next week. So you got to go then haven't you got to go And I went and now, you know, I prepared properly this time and everything and I went and I was just amazing profound experience. I took the medicine. I spoke with a shaman before I told him what my problems were He said, yeah, you're you know, he's just overstressed and Your heart and your nervous system is under stress and I'm gonna help you with that. So Wait during the ceremony. I'll come round and I'll do some stuff with you and we'll fix this I said, alright, I took the ayahuasca felt the effects coming on I saw a green collar in front of me and I got a female voice in my head Saying hello, do you remember me? I said, yeah, I remember you So are you afraid? I said not afraid. No, she said no, I'm gonna come then. Is that right? Very gentle and I said, yeah It's great. You're not gonna throw up this time either She came and just I saw everything that was going on in my life from a Totally different perspective. I saw it from everyone else's perspective even my people that I thought were assholes and they were You know, they were fucking me up, but they were but not from their perspective. I just saw everything from a different Angle and the next day The next day was a totally different person I even looked different people were saying to me the fuck you had Botox or something It's just like all the stress the Lord had gone, you know, it's like glowing like what do you look great? And so I've only had two hours sleep and just went to ayahuasca. You look great. What's happened? Just all that negativity was taken out of me. So then That was the start of my real relationship with ayahuasca, which is It's a plant medicine, but it's got an amazing intelligence is beyond our understanding and I believe that I was even used as a tool To put these camps on in Costa Rica to bring out all the people that came out there because it changed all their lives And they're now changing other lives. It's like a domino effect. So You know, the plants live on this planet as well as we do So they don't want us to fuck up the planet because they live here as well So they're trying to talk to us and ayahuasca is a master teacher plant so it's a form of intelligence and I had three camps 20 people and and We formed WhatsApp groups for all the people and to this day, they're all in touch like yesterday I was watching I don't go on there all the time, but I'm watching them communicating They're doing zoom calls the sharing all the experiences their lives have just changed and they're helping other people one person's opening Flotation tank business and it's all around spirituality and they've all all their lives have changed tremendously for the better. So Somehow I was used as a tool to do that to attract those people because they looked up to me because they're from the gym world